Tales from Mellowbrook
by SariSpy56
Summary: Sequel to "Unable to be Rebuild." The citizens of Porkbelly began their new lives in Mellowbrook with other citizens and bear with them as they have tons of adventures, romance and comedy in the now bigger community of Mellowbrook
1. Introduction

**Tales from Mellowbrook **

_**Introduction:**_

_This here is a little introduction to the sequel of one story **Unable to be Rebuild** which is a Johnny Test fanfic._

_This **Tales from Mellowbrook** is not one but a variety of stories quite similar to the **House of Awesome** only that no one is telling a make-believe or parody tale. It is quite similar to episodes from TV shows and all that stuff so bear with me here. It will also include stories from **Ramps of Horror, Widowmaker's Winter Wonderland **and** House of Awesome** and the upcoming stories from the upcoming Johnny Test Halloween fanfic **Scared Laboratory **coming soon somewhere in the late summer of 2012. I will be glad to take any request for upcoming tales though. However, if you don't like the stories (or chapters) I made, ignore it because I don't want any bad or rude comments._

_**Things you SHOULD know about before reading this:**_

_The first story takes place after the events in **Unable to be Rebuild. **Most of the characters in the Johnny Test fanfic will still be same and will still have the same personality but a slight change. They are no longer citizens of Porkbelly (if you did not read **Unable to be Rebuilt,** then I suggest you do so now before you get all confused), they are now citizens of Mellowbrook. Also, some characters will be a year older but they will still be same so bear with me her will ya._

_First story to start of the tale is "First Day of School"_


	2. First Day of School

_**First Day of School**_

A now thirteen year old Kick Buttowski the suburban daredevil woke up from his bed in a Tuesday morning. He looks well tired but to face the truth about him, he's no longer a petite kid. Ever since he turned 13 in February, he had grown taller like most boys and the fact that he is now a teenager.

He's tired but it's the first day of school meaning that he has to get ready or else it's off to a bad start. Even though he's now a teenager, he is still an awesome suburban daredevil. Cocky, cool and clever. Well at least he is for now before going to high school.

"Hey dillweed!" cried Kick's seventeen year-old brother Brad. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Eating breakfast dumbass," Kick replied.

Brad is as usual still his old, stupid, mean self. But at least he finally got a girlfriend who is not using him for other things – Selena Randalls the beautiful fifteen year old Asian girl who is January's roommate.

"You better not act like a jerk Brad," whined nine year old Brianna.

"And why not Brianna?" Brad asked.

"Because you have a girlfriend, so you better mature or else she'll dump you for another guy."

"Alright sis! I'll mature! When do I start?"

"Right when you get to school."

"Now kids," said the father Harold. "Let's not get into a fight. Especially on the first day of school."

"Well dumbass here kept on being a jerk," Brianna replied.

"Now, now Brianna," the mother Honey spoke. "It's not polite to call people that. I know that there are a lot of changes in this town, but at least what we can do is be polite to one another."

"Yes mom."

"Good. I'm glad we're off to a pretty good start."

"And it looks like that Brad and Kick are now teenagers," Harold said excitedly. "Pretty soon Kick might go to the same school Brad goes to."

"Aw dad!" Brad and Kick said in embarrassment. "Don't say that!"

"Teenagers. Oh and Kick?"

"Yeah?" Kick spoke

"You didn't eat that cereal, right?"

"What cereal?"

The all of a sudden, Kick paused and collapsed to the floor while his eyes grew big thus not being able to see reality.

"Sweet colors," Kick said.

"Poor dillweed," Brad muttered. "Sucks being him. Yeah Brad!"

()()()()()

Meanwhile in January's mansion, January's twelve year old cousin Johnny woke up tiredly from his bed. He's happy but on what condition? He knows that today's the first day of school in Mellowbrook Elementary and that he'll be in seventh grade with the others merged with the eighth graders but why is he happy is beyond me.

"Hello Jonathon!" Johnny said to himself as he gets dressed and walks to the kitchen with his talking dog Dukey following him. "What a lovely day to be back at school."

Johnny's fourteen year old sisters, Susan and Mary are already in the kitchen eating what seems to be a healthy breakfast instead of their dad's horrible meatloaf. Ever since they moved in with January and Selena, Hugh is forbidden to cook meals in the house.

"Isn't it a lovely day my dear sister?" Johnny said as he helps himself some cereal.

"What are you so happy about?" Susan asked. "Are you going to pull pranks at school?"

"It's the first day Susan. I think I'll take a break for a while."

"I know what's going on," Dukey butted in. "You're going to learn about your new teachers and their weaknesses and then pull a prank on all of them, isn't that right?"

"Yes … wait a minute? What exactly do you mean teachers?"

"From 5th grade and beyond, you get more than one teacher. Don't you have a school schedule for Mellowbrook Elementary?"

"No. They never give us one!" Johnny said angrily.

"It's in Selena's room," said fifteen year old January who came downstairs.

"What the hell would the schedule be in Selena's room?" Dukey shrieked.

"Two words dog. Brad Buttowski."

"Oh."

"What about Brad?" said Selena as she came downstairs.

"Oh nothing," replied Susan and Mary. "We're just talking about Johnny's missing schedule."

"Speaking of schedule, I found Johnny's schedule in my room."

"Thanks Selena," Johnny said as he snatches the schedule from Selena's hand.

"Oh that reminds me," Selena spoke again. "Susan and Mary will have to go to high school with me and January."

"Why?" Susan questioned her. "Isn't there a science or institute anywhere in Mellowbrook?"

"Sorry. Most of the institutes are for college students only so you'll just have to go like the rest of us teens."

"We're off to a bad start."

"But look on the bright side," January said.

"What?"

"Gil Nexdor is also going to our school."

"Gil Nexdor!" Susan and Mary cried while swooning. The girls have always been in love with the pretty but dimwitted blond boy. "Gil Nexdor."

"You better get ready kids!" cried the father Hugh Test. "If you guys are off to a bad start, you're grounded for life!"

"But you're not allowed to ground a kid who is the BOSS of this house!" January shouted back. "A kid who pays all the bills and insurance around here!"

Hugh went silent for a moment.

()()()()()

Kick and Brianna walk to their bus stop and saw their friends and some new kids from Porkbelly. They are still their old selves.

"Hi Gunther," Kick said to his best friend.

"Hi Kick," Gunther replied. "Ready for school?"

"Yep."

"And we're not going to start with a bad start?" said a certain Kendall Perkins.

"A bad start? Everyone starts the first day of school with a good start. What can go wrong on a day like this?"

"OH KICK!"

The kids turn around to see Kick's #1 fan (and stalker) Wacky Jackie. Nothing much changed her. She is still as ever a wacky fan.

"OH KICK! I CANNOT BELIEVE WE'RE GOING TO A GOOD START AT SCHOOL! I BET WE GET OUR OWN SEATS AND I'LL BE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TIL DEATH DO US PART!"

"Will you knock it off Jackie!" yelled Kendall. "It's obvious that Kick doesn't want to be bothered by you."

"You stay out of this Kendall!"

"Don't talk to her like that!" yelled a twelve year old blond girl with red highlights.

"Who are you Blondie?"

"Jonni West and I just moved here."

"Since when?"

"Since the whole Blob thing a few months ago."

Truth is told that Jackie is shocked that Kendall now has a friend for once. Jonni is cool and classy and really tomboyish and is Johnny's female alternative from an alternative town called Leadbelly. Jonni doesn't want to live in the town anymore because of her mother's shrewish behavior, nagging and abusive personality. Those elements have been scaring her to death.

"So how is Meg?" Kendall asked.

"She's okay." Jonni replied. "She's still beating up that shithole dumbass father of hers though back in Quahog."

"Wow. She's a strong person eh?"

"Yep."

Just then, the bus came and all the kids hop on. Next stop is Mellowbrook Elementary.

"So Test!" cried Sissy Blankley as she sits beside Johnny. "Who's your homeroom teacher?"

"Homeroom teacher?" Johnny asked.

"It's the teacher in first period brainiac. Mine's the History teacher."

"You know what? I'm just confused of how 7th grade works. I'm just here to study our teacher's weaknesses and use it against them."

"Oh. Anyway, check out my vacation pictures from Rio de Janerio."

So Sissy lends Johnny the photo and then after a few seconds, Johnny burst out laughing.

"What's so funny Test?" Sissy asked.

"Those aren't vacation photos," Johnny said while still laughing. "Those are baby photos!"

The kids heard Johnny's voice and rushed to see Sissy's baby photos. They started laughing as Sissy tries to get them back but to no avail.

"Give me those photos!" cried the bus driver.

Johnny gives the driver the photos and the bus driver too laughed.

"That's some funny photos!" said the bus driver.

"Who's driving the bus?" Gunther asked.

Suddenly, the bus is driving crazy because there's no driver. Everyone panics as the bus driver faints at this and is unable to wake up.

"We're off to a very bad start here!" Gunther panics. "Where's Kick?"

"AWESOME!"

Gunther turns around to see Kick behind the wheel. His driving skills are accurate and very well despite being an underage.

"Aren't you a little young to be driving?" Janet asked.

"Yes. Yes I am."

()()()()()

Kick stepped out of the bus along with the other kids. His classroom (along with Johnny's) was on the second floor. As he entered the school he walked towards the stairs. He continued to walk on the stairs until he made it on the second floor. After that he went to his homeroom. The classroom was history and had brown wallpaper because Kick can easily tell by the maps, globes, and timeline posters. This also means that Gunther, Kendall, and the others were in this class. As he entered it, he saw a more organized, and cleaner version of a classroom. Not only that, he saw Mr. Teacherman putting books on the desk.

"Who are you?" Kick asked.

"Who me?" cried Mr. Teacherman. "I'm you're homeroom teacher Mr. Teacherman."

"I was at least expecting Ms. Fitzpatrick, but I guess that works for a good start."

"Yeah. Just take your seat for now."

As Mr. Teacherman gets ready to teach, Johnny too walks into the room and is as just as surprised as Kick is.

"Mr. Teacherman?" Johnny cried. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm your homeroom teacher smartass." shouted Mr. Teacherman. "How can my day get any worse than this?"

"I can make it gone in three seconds."

"JUST SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!"

Johnny went to his desk which looked pretty much the same. In fact, everyone he knew was in his class. Guess the school budget can't separate them that easily and that most of the new students are in the other classrooms.

"Okay class. Today, you have a simple pop quiz in my History Class. It's something you all learned from last school year." Mr. Teacherman said as he handed out the pop quiz.

The timer on the desk started and Johnny had trouble figuring out the answers.

After a while, the timer stopped meaning that the quiz was over. Mr. Teacherman picked up the quizzes until he picked up Johnny's.

"Johnny? You think that Indiana Jones founded America in 1952, and that the Civil War was caused by a bunch of Black and White Spies from Cuba. Plus, and why is there mouse wearing red shorts holding a machine gun drawn on the side of the test?"

"What do you know? Mickey Mouse? How did he get in there?" Johnny said sarcastically and a fake smile.

"Just shut up and go to your next class."

()()()()()

Kick stepped out of the classroom and headed to the next classroom next door. It was math. As he entered the classroom, he saw Ms. Fitzpatrick in the classroom. The classroom was like the social studies classroom, except the wallpaper was blue and it was filled with rulers, math books, and a yard stick.

"Ms. Fitzpatrick?" Kick said in surprise. "You're the math teacher?"

"Mmm hmm," replied Ms. Fitzpatrick. "Alright class, we're going to have a pop quiz on what you've learned last year."

"Another pop quiz!" Johnny cried. "What's next? Dark Vegan being a gym teacher?"

"Actually I'm the shop teacher for the 9th to12th grade Johnny," said Dark Vegan as he walks in with the hammer.

"9th to 12th grade?" Kendall asked. "This is the elementary and middle school. Not high school."

"Oh. My bad."

Then Dark Vegan flew off to Mellowbrook High as Ms. Fitzpatrick gives each student the quiz.

"Oh crud," Johnny cried. "I bet Susan and Mary are having trouble at high school as of now."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Susan and Mary are having their first class with January, Selena, Darien, Gil, Brad, Pantsy, Horace, Gordon and all the other teens they know.

"I wonder who our teacher is." Horace wondered.

"I bet she's sexy and pretty," replied Pantsy. "Rawr."

"Or that he's all into science like we do!" Susan and Mary said in excitement.

Just then, the door opens to reveal Mr. White.

"Mr. White? What are you doing here?" Susan asked.

"I'm your homeroom teacher," Mr. White replied. "Now first things first class, who can tell me who created Mickey Mouse?"

"Walt Disney, dumbass!" Brad yelled. "Everyone knows that."

"We're not kindergartens y'know." Mary said.

"Okay then," Mr. White spoke again. "Now let's get going to do some Egyptian history. First question. Who is the most famous pharaoh in Egypt?"

"King Tut," Gordon replied.

"Wrong-O pretty boy! It's Pharaoh Kickankhamun that's famous and is still is today."

"Who's Kickankhamun?" Mary spoke.

"He's the boy king of Egypt. He started ruling when he's only eight, but his reign only lasted four years. He is murdered at the age of twelve by some evil fat dude who wishes to be immortal and rule the world and all that stuff."

"Did you just hear that from my sister Kendall and her friend Kick?" Darien spoke.

"You know them Blondie?"

"Duh! Kendall's my sister and Kick is her friend. Of course I know them!"

()()()()()

Back in Mellowbrook Elementary, Kick entered the science room. It looked almost exactly like the math classroom except that it was science and the desks were arranged in rows and were a bit bigger. What he and the other students saw was Mr. Black in a lab coat.

"Hello cool cats," said Mr. Black. "I'm Mr. Black and I'm your science teacher. Isn't that exciting?"

"Not as excited as having to do another quiz on the first day." Johnny whined.

"Aw cheer up kids. I'm not going to give you a pop quiz on the first day. Instead we'll be doing dangerous experiments for now. I want everyone to get a partner on the double."

So every student grabs a partner and no one is left out.

"Good," said Mr. Black. "The first experiment we'll be doing is a DNA experiment."

"DNA experiment?" Ronaldo said. "That's old school and make-believe. We want REAL science here."

"This IS real science dork. Any more complaints on this?"

No one spoke. Jackie raises her hand.

"Yes weird girl with the big freaky smile and glasses."

"Are we allowed to make love potions?" Jackie asked gleefully, hoping to get Kick to love her.

"No. For this DNA experiment, we will be making a formula to alter one's body from one form to another. Sort of like a mutant or something like that."

"Mutants?" Johnny cried. "Sweet."

A few minutes later…

"What the hell is this Ronaldo?" Mr. Black spoke to Ronaldo while examining his experiment who is Janet, Ronaldo's partner.

"What does it look like smartass?" Ronaldo replied. "This is REAL science and the one I'm talking about."

"It looks like a sexy robot lady to me with human qualities. You automatically failed this assignment. You get an F."

'An F!" Ronaldo screamed as he jumps out of the window.

"We're on the second floor Ronaldo!" Kick screams at Ronaldo.

Suddenly, an injured Ronaldo is covered in dirt and mud.

"Ha-ha!" cried Bumper to Ronaldo.

"Now I want to see what formula Kick and Kendall made." Mr. Black spoke.

_This better not happen like last time, _Kendall thought as she hands Kick the formula to drink.

_Ms. Fitzpatrick's class is going to do a lab assignment today and every single student is to have a lab partner. Unfortunately, Ms. Fitzpatrick picks out the partners and Kick is stuck working with Kendall._

_"Now Clarence," Kendall said to Kick like a teacher. "We're going to make a formula that can change the behavior and growth of mankind."_

_Kick shrugs as he handed Kendall the items needed to make a formula. Ten minutes later, the formula is finished and Kick and Kendall are presenting it to the class. Just then, someone yelled Kendall to test it on Kick. Kendall agrees and forced Kick to drink the formula. Kick obeys and all of a sudden, Kick starts to feel a pain in his chest and collapsed on the floor not breathing._

_"What have I done wrong?" Kendall cried as she tries to wake Kick up._

_"Someone call the doctor!" Gunther cried. "Get some help!"_

"We're waiting." Mr. Black spoke thus snapping Kendall out of her trance.

"You ready Kick?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah," Kick spoke. "Why did you ask?"

"Oh nothing."

So Kendall and Kick present their experiment to Mr. Black and Kick drinks the formula for results. Just then, Kick starts to feel a pain in his chest and collapsed on the floor, not breathing.

_Not again. _Kendall thought.

"SOMEONE CALL THE DOCTOR!" cried Gunther. "GET SOME HELP!"

"Calm down class," Mr. Black cried. "Help is on the way!"

A few minutes later, the nurse took an unconscious Kick to the Nurse's room while the other classmates work on their reflections.

"This better be done by the end of this period or it's homework," Mr. Black spoke.

"Can this day get any worse?" Johnny cried.

()()()()()

Johnny enters the English classroom. It was a bit bigger than the previous classrooms, the wallpaper was purple and there was a marker board instead of a chalk board.

"Hello class," a female teacher said as she walks to her desk. "I'm Mrs. Test and I'm your English teacher."

"Mom?" Johnny cried looking embarrassed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I work here honey. Now class, I want you to write a mystery story. Doesn't it sound fun?"

"Yes it does Mrs. Test," said Janet proudly. "I'm a straight A student."

Few minutes later…

Janet saw her work with an F on it.

"Why an F?" Janet cried.

"Because you kept on writing about some rich girl getting the treasures very easily," Lila said. "It's doesn't make any sense."

Janet screams as she too jumps out of the window.

"We're on the second floor Nelson!" Jonni cried.

()()()()()

"This was some great class," Jonni said to Kendall as she and the other girls head to Health Class for girls only.

As they enter the gym, one woman scared the crap out of other girls. Their gym teacher is Ms. Chicarelli and Oskar the evil dog.

"Welcome to Health Class ladies," Ms. Chicarelli said evilly. "I am Ms. Chicarelli and this is my dog Oskar.

Just then, a dodge ball hits Ms. Chicarelli's head real hard leaving a big red bruise on her skin.

"Ha-ha!" Jonni cried.

"Hey wait a minute! You're that West kid! I thought your shrewish mother and I taught you a lesson back in Egypt!" Ms. Chicarelli yelled.

"Jonni?" Kendall asked. "You know this lady?"

"Yeah," Jonni replied. "She's the lady who slapped my face real hard and both her and my mom made me wear girly dresses and make-up in public. It was embarrassing."

"I can teach you another lesson if you don't behave and shut up!" Ms. Chicarelli barked. "Now I want to know all of your names. Especially the trouble makers."

Each girl in the gym called out their names. Jonni tries to control herself as Ms. Chicarelli and Oskar kept on getting hit by balls. Suddenly, Jonni can't hold it anymore.

"Ha-ha!" Jonni cried.

Ms. Chicarelli lost her temper and punches Jonni in the face real hard.

"I wonder if all old women have anger issues," Sissy spoke.

()()()()()

In Health Class for boys, the boys are relief that Kick is able to join them after a little accident in Science Class. As the boys enter the gym, they saw a man sitting completely still.

"Hello class…" the Health teacher said in a well-mannered, creepy voice. "So Clarence. What would you like to learn?"

"How the biscuits did you know my name?" Kick asked.

"Tell me Clarence. Was your dear Uncle Jules a well-known archaeologist who outsmarted his rivals at every turn until his apparent death seven years ago? Or were you a werewolf once during the formula incident in Science Class last year and it happened again? I can tell that as soon as the moon comes up tonight, you will become an even more monstrous werewolf mankind has ever seen."

"How the hell would you know about Kick's uncle and his dark secret?" Johnny yelled.

"How would I know Jonathon? What about your father? The one who is a horrible cook and wasted the bills to protect his family for meatloaf? Or the fact that he values meatloaf more than he values you and your sister's well beings and safety."

"How would you know about my dad?"

"Believe me Jonathon. Your father is a no good, rotten, son of a bitch. Anyway, my name is Mr. Sin."

"Aren't you one of those Top Wanted Criminals of America?" Gunther asked.

"Instead of wanting to learn about me Gunther, how about I learn about you. Tell me? Were you bullied by other boys because of your weight?"

"Huh?"

"Or what about your father? He may be a cool father a boy could ever wanted in his life but in reality, your father is a ruthless thug who thinks he is a real Viking."

"You're a health and gym teacher for God's sake Mr. Sin!" Mouth yelled.

"Tell me Christopher. Why do kids often call you Mouth? There must be a reason to…"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?" Johnny yelled. "Seriously, you're annoying."

"Fine," Mr. Sin spoke. "Today we are to dissect a real human and work on our basic workouts to stay fit and active because you'll never know when danger comes."

Mr. Sin puts a dead human on the desk.

"That looks like my dead uncle," Mouth spoke.

"Um... well it's not and I'm not a criminal or a grave robber either. So..."

Suddenly police noises came out of nowhere.

"Excuse me. It's my coffee break." Mr. Sin said as he jumped out of the window.

Suddenly he felled to the ground injured and saw Ronaldo on the ground also.

"There you are Sinister." The chief police said as he captures the teacher. "You're going to jail for the crimes of killing over eighteen people."

"But I'm not Sinister," Mr. Sin said pointing at Ronaldo. "He is."

"Oh my mistake," the chief police said as he lets go of Mr. Sin and captures Ronaldo instead.

()()()()()

It is now French class and Johnny felt confident with it. It is the only class he is really good at since he's able to speak French fluently. He should at least get a B in this. He took his seat and saw Mr. Snooty the French teachr taking about the culture of France. Johnny thoughted he would teach about the language, not th culture.

"And that's why the French is better than the British," Mr. Snooty said.

"I though all of you French people are better than every country in the world," Gunther said.

"Sacre bleu! You think the Vikings are more awesome than French people?" Mr. Snooty yelled.

"No, but..."

"That's it! Your punishment is to help the janitor with the problem in the boys' washroom. NOW MOVE!"

"But that's not what Gunther meant to say," Kick butted in. "He..."

"So you like your friend too wiseguy? You can join him as well. NOW MOVE!"

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Kick, Gunther and the janitor are at the boys' washroom and are fighting the big problem. It is somehow the Loch Ness Monster is living in a toilet. It's big, but not as big as King Kong. The janitor, Kick and Gunther tried to fight it off with toilet plungers.

"Have you tried the gun on the sink there?" Kick asked.

"Hell no! Toilet plungers are more manly." replied the janitor. "Now help us get this son of a bitch on the ground!"

"But..."

"Do you want to take down Nessie here or have this school be filled with water from dirty toilets?"

"I'd rather do both."

"Just shoot it!"

()()()()()

Kick and Gunther enter the French classroom with blood stains and water all over them.

"GOD HELL!" Mr. Snooty yelled. "What the hell happened to the two of you?"

"We shot the Loch Ness Monster," Gunther answered.

Everyone laughed at Gunther as they think it was a lie.

"No lying in the classroom!"

"But it's true."

"I'm warning you!"

"But he is telling the truth sir," Kick spoke. "And I have proof."

Kick reaches for the sack and pulls out the head of the Loch Ness Monster. Everyone scream at this now realizing that it was actually true. Even Mr. Snooty fainted at this.

"Ha-ha!" Jonni cried at Mr. Snooty.

Suddenly, Ms. Chicarelli came in the classroom.

"You think that I would just forget about you West!" she said with a crowbar.

"Uh-oh." Jonni cried as Ms. Chicarelli beats her up with a crowbar once more.

()()()()()

Johnny is tired and is also filled with stress from other classes he went before. He is now entering his final class, Art. As he enters, he saw Mrs. Perkins

"Hello class," Mrs. Perkins spoke. "I'm Mrs. Perkins and I'd like to get to know you better."

"Whoa," Johnny spoke. "Didn't see that coming."

"My oh my. You look like you had a lot of stress. Has the other teachers been doing things unusual prevoiusly?"

"No but there are a lot of weird things going on in this school."

"Anyway, your first assignment is to draw a comic strip. No joke."

"Are you sure?" Jonni asked while in her injured state.

"Oh dear god. What happened to you?"

"I got beaten up by Ms. Chicarelli. Damn, she has a ... I mean she's a really nice lady." Jonni said as she looks everywhere in case Ms. Chicarelli shows up again.

"Young lady. Ms. Chicarelli just thinks that bullies or troublemakers should be taught a lesson. In a very strict and harsh way."

"I know what your saying m'am," Johnny spoke. "You're saying that she's a big, grouchy..."

But Mrs. Perkins quickly covers Johnny's mouth as Ms. Chicarelli came in.

"I thought I heard someone." Ms. Chicarelli said.

"Nothing. Just go back to class." said Mrs. Perkins.

"Fine."

Ms. Chicarelli then left.

"Anyway, the comic strip."

One hour later, the kids are finished with their comics. Johnny's comic is about him as Johnny X and Super Dukey saving a damsel in distress from a big blob.

"It's about Johnny X and Super Dukey battling foes and saving damsels in distress," Johnny said proudly.

"Is Johnny X you?" Mrs. Perkins spoke.

"How did you know?"

"It has Johnny in Johnny X. Anyone can identify him easily."

"Dang. But I'm still going to use that name though."

()()()()()

Johnny steps out of the school bus and enters January's mansion. He saw his sisters, his parents, his cousin, her roommate and Dukey.

"How was school cousin?" January spoke.

"Weird." Johnny answered. "I got Mr. Teacherman as my homeroom teacher plus Mr. Black is the science teacher now."

"Mr. Black? Didn't he already had a job working at Area 51?"

"He got punished," Susan replied. "Along with Mr. White."

"I see."

"Then there's Mr. Sin," Johnny continued. "He's really creepy. He somehow knows my secrets along with other children. Plus, I think he's a criminal and a psycho. Not only that, no adults think he really is a criminal. The police keeps on forgetting that Sin is a criminal."

"I'd stay away from him if I were you," Hugh said.

"Oh and my French teacher is Mr. Snooty. It's actually the first time I had an A+ in language but a D- in cuture. He also thinks he's better than everyone else.

"French people," Selena said. "When will they ever learn?"

As the family leave the room, Johnny secretly held a paper which has a list of waekness of each teacher he has.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Kick is doing one of his stunts at dusk when all of the sudden, the moon rose up and the light shines on him. Kick stops and screams as pain flows throughout his body. He is slowly changing from a normal teenager to a monstrous werewolf once more.

"RAWR!" howled WereKick.


	3. Super Jonni and Epic Kendall

_**Super Jonni and Epic Kendall**_

RING!

"Hello?" Kendall asked as she picks up the phone.

"I need you to come to the Food n' Fix Kendall," answered the caller. "It's important."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when you get there."

Kendall slowly hangs up the phone and walks out of her house looking rather nervous. What does the caller want with her? She'll find out once she gets to the Food n' Fix. And more specifically, who is calling her at this hour.

Several minutes later, Kendall made her way to the Food n' Fix. What she saw is a tied up Wade shivering in fear and beside him is her friend Jonni.

"Glad you could make it Kendall," Jonni said.

"What's important here?" Kendall asked.

"Someone stole 10 000 boxes full of Cheetah Chug and worse, someone took your favorite candy, Kit Kat."

"Not the Kit Kat!"

"I'm sorry but the person did. It was 100 boxes full of them."

"Who would do such a thing?"

"Ask Wade."

"It was a few minutes ago before this happened." Wade said.

_Wade was doing his job at the Food n' Fix when the manager of the store came by._

"_Wade m'boy," said the manager. "We have like two trucks coming here to import 10 000 boxes full of Cheetah Chug and 100 boxes full of Kit Kat chocolate bars."_

"_Sweet," Wade said._

"_Now be warned m'boy. Someone as greedy as a pig might get his fat, dirty hands on them. Don't let him go near it. Understand?"_

"_Yes sir."_

_As Wade helped some of the truckers haul the boxes to the store, a fat boy came by and demanded the truckers to hand over the Cheetah Chugs and the Kit Kats. The truckers and Wade refused and the boy is very angry._

"_Well then," said the boy. "You shall face the consequences!"_

_And with that, the boy knocks the truckers unconscious and tied Wade up to avoid him calling the police. Wade watched helplessly as the boy makes his getaway._

_"Dang," Wade said._

"And that's what happened danger dudette," Wade finished his story.

"That's awful," Kendall said. "We need to put the boy to justice."

"And I know how," Jonni said. "Follow me."

()()()()()

"What are you doing Susan?" Selena spoke as she enters the lab in the mansion.

"Doing a science experiment," Susan replied.

"What kind of science experiment?"

"Um… a love potion."

"Love potion? Tell me you're not trying to get Gil to notice you. What if January finds out?"

"She won't find out Selena. Quit being a sissy."

"Fine but don't say I didn't warn you."

Just then, the door smashes into pieces to reveal a gigantic king-sized gorilla with huge claws.

"What the hell!" Susan yelled.

The gorilla knocks Susan out of the way and grabs Selena. She screams as the gorilla takes her away to unknown destination.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Jonni and Kendall are walking to January's house when they noticed the crashed door to January's lab.

"What the biscuits happened here?" Jonni asked. "Another failed experiment here?"

"Actually the giant gorilla broke into the lab and took Selena away," Susan said while panting.

"Is this a joke?" Kendall spoke.

"No. I saw it with my own eyes."

"Alright I believe you," Jonni said again. "But I'm telling Brad about this. You know how much Brad loves her like a princess."

"Wait! Don't tell Brad about this."

"Why?"

"He'll never believe that a big gorilla took Selena in broad daylight. Unless you two save Selena from the gorilla."

"Well how do we find the gorilla?"

"Before it left, I placed the tracking device on its butt. You two will have to save Selena for Brad's sake, before he finds out."

"Well that you have to solve Susan because Kendall and I have bigger problems as of now."

"That's right," Kendall spoke. "A fat boy broke into the Food n' Fix and stole 10 000 boxes of Cheetah Chug and 100 boxes of Kit Kat chocolate bars. Today."

"Well that's not important right now," Susan barked. "What's really important is for you two to save Selena or else Brad freaks out. And I know how."

One hour later.

Jonni and Kendall are dresses as comic super heroines while they are strapped to chairs.

"Superheroes?" Kendall spoke. "Really?"

"It's the only way," Susan said.

"Why can't you just ask Johnny and Dukey to save Selena instead?" Jonni asked.

"They're busy. This may hurt a bit."

So Susan activates the switch which shocks Jonni and Kendall. When it's finished, Kendall began to float.

"Am I dreaming or something?" Kendall asked.

"No," Susan replied. "I've given you and Jonni super powers. From now on, you'll be known as Epic Kendall and Super Jonni."

"Awesome," Super Jonni said. "Let's find the gorilla and save Selena."

"But wait," Susan interrupted. "There are things you need to know about your powers."

"Like what?"

"Well for starters, both you and Epic Kendall have the ability to fly like how Epic Kendall demonstrated earlier. However Super Jonni, you are given the same types of powers that Johnny has when he is Johnny X."

"As in?"

"You have Hurricane Hands, Flaming Power Poots, Shape shifting and Teleportation."

"Sweet."

"What about me?" Epic Kendall asked.

"Well," Susan spoke again. "You are given the Shape shifting powers and Teleportation. Also you are given some new powers that neither Johnny X nor Super Dukey has recently."

"Like what?"

"Well you have the ability to have all the super smarts in the world and the ability to see things even though you can't actually see far away in real life. And one more thing."

Susan gives Epic Kendall a big paintbrush – the same one Kendall had used to defeat the Blobs back in the Wastelands a few months ago.

"Now I know you've used it before," Susan spoke again. "But I made some upgrades on it so that your attacks are more powerful than ever."

"Thanks," said Epic Kendall.

"No problem. Now get out there and save Selena!"

()()()()()

Meanwhile in Area 51, Mr. Black and Mr. White are in the General's office, waiting for the General to speak.

"Now listen here men," the General spoke. "There has been quite a conflict going on in Mellowbrook recently. First a real-life werewolf with a white helmet howling at the moonlight at Widowmaker's Peak and now a king-sized gorilla kidnapping an Asian girl and holding her hostage in broad daylight! What do you guys think of all this?"

"Mellowbrook's the new Porkbelly sir?" Mr. Black answered.

"That's not what I mean you bumbling assholes!"

"Then what shall we do?" Mr. White spoke.

"We'll deal with this werewolf thing tonight where he'll be at Dead Man's Drop once the moon rises. As for the gorilla conflict, get the Test kids to do the job for us. They're better than we are. Do I make myself clear?"

"Sir Yes Sir!" cried Mr. Black and Mr. White.

()()()()()

As for Super Jonni and Epic Kendall, the gorilla's tracking device had led them to an isolated island with a huge volcano at the center. Super Jonni is able to recognize the island quite easily.

"I knew it!" cried Super Jonni.

"What is it?" Epic Kendall asked.

"That's Bling Bling Island. Johnny told me about it a lot during Science Class."

"Do you think that's where Selena is?"

"Let's find out."

Super Jonni and Epic Kendall flew towards the island and cannot believe their eyes. They saw Selena tied up and gagged at the banquet table outside with Bling Bling Boy who is enjoying his 'date' with millions of Cheetah Chugs and Kit Kat chocolate bars.

"When Wade said the fat kid robbed the Food n' Fix earlier," Super Jonni said looking surprised. "I didn't expect the fat kid to be Eugene. At all."

"It's Bling Bling Boy and I can hear you y'know!" Bling Bling Boy yelled to Super Jonni and Epic Kendall.

_Aw biscuits. He spotted us. _Epic Kendall thought. _Now what?_

"POWER POOTS GO!" Super Jonni yelled.

Super Jonni aims her rear end at Bling Bling Boy and gives out a huge fiery fart directly at Bling Bling Boy's face while Epic Kendall frees Selena who then passes out.

"What the?" Bling Bling Boy said after being farted. "I got farted by a girl?"

"You may be a rich boy but you sure are an asshole," Super Jonni said.

This made Bling Bling Boy furious.

"GUARDS!" shouted Bling Bling Boy as the troops came outside. "GET THE GIRLS AND BRING THEM TO ME!"

Before the guards can go near the girls, Epic Kendall pulls out the paintbrush and swings it at the guards, knocking them out cold.

"Now that's what I call epic," Epic Kendall said. "I wonder if I should use it on Jackie someday."

'Now's not the time to go daydreaming Kendall," Super Jonni cried. "We'd best grab the remaining Cheetah Chugs and Kit Kat chocolate bars in the sealed boxes and Selena and get the heck out of here before things go from bad to worse."

But before Super Jonni and Epic Kendall make their getaway, Bling Bling Boy activates a cage which traps the girls inside.

"MWA HA HA HA HA!" Bling Bling Boy screamed. "Now you will all be my prisoners!"

"Oh yeah?" Super Jonni said confidently. "Think again."

"What do you mean think again?"

Epic Kendall held Selena's hand tightly as she and Super Jonni lift their arms in the air.

"Teleportation, GO!"

And with that, Super Jonni, Epic Kendall, Selena and the remaining boxes of Cheetah Chug and Kit Kat disappeared right before Bling Bling Boy's eyes.

"Oh." Bling Bling Boy spoke. "Dammit!"

()()()()()

Back in the mansion, Jonni and Kendall are back to their normal selves and doing normal things while Selena tells Brad everything through the phone.

"So Eugene forced you to date him behind my back?" Brad answered through the phone.

"Yes," Selena replied.

"Don't worry Selena. If I ever find that fat asshole, I'm gonna pound him into turkey meat. Yeah Brad."

"Thanks."

"And it's great to have you back."

()()()()()

At the Food n' Fix.

"Well we may have lost a few boxes to Eugene," the manager said. "But at least the remaining boxes are sealed and untouched by greediness."

"We sure did dude," Wade said. "We sure did."

"And for all the troubles the girls have, for gratitude, I'll give them three boxes of Cheetah Chug and Kit Kat chocolate bars. It's on the house. Tell them for me m'boy."

"Sure thing boss, sure thing."

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

"Now remember boys," the General said as he, Mr. Black and Mr. White set up the trap to capture the werewolf in Dead Man's Drop. "Be quiet so we don't let the werewolf get away that easily."

"Sure thing boss," whispered the secret agents.

As the three men waited, WereKick makes his appearance at Dead Man's Drop with Ol' Blue in his paw.

"Nothing like a good ol' midnight stunt," said WereKick. "At Dead Man's Drop."

As WereKick walks towards the edge, a net springs up high to capture him but it misses as WereKick makes his stunt.

"Dammit," said the General as he and the agents heard WereKick's howling below Dead Man's Drop.

It's back to the drawing board.


	4. Night of the WereKick

_**Night of the WereKick**_

It was a dark and stormy night in the huge, abandon mansion up on the big hill in the outskirts of town. Pantsy and Horace thought that it would be fun to explore the mansion and see it they can make little kids go there as a dare. As the teenagers went inside, they were almost scared for like some reasons. As Pantsy and Horace explored the house, someone is spying on then.

"Hey," Horace said to Pantsy. "Do you have a feeling that we're being watched?"

"Not really," Pantsy replied. "Why?"

Just then, Pantsy and Horace are scared as soon as their pictures are taken by two ghosts -one who wore a bowtie and is fat (Bumpy) and the other who wore a bandana and is thin (Lenny.) Pantsy and Horace dropped their flash lights and ran out of the mansion. They dare not come back here ever again. Bumpy and Lenny then return to the grand room where awaits them was a beautiful female ghost name Melissa who had a heart shaped birthmark on her left eye (and did I mentioned that Melissa looks a lot like Kendall Perkins?)

"May I present you the photo that I've taken!" said Bumpy and Lenny at the same time.

Melissa takes the photos from Bumpy and Lenny and views them carefully. Over the decades, Bumpy and Lumpy had putten themselves into a little contest and are taking photos of scared or funny people to see whose's photos were better. Usually, the winner gets to go on a date with Melissa or gets a kiss on the cheeks.

As Melissa is reviewing the two photos, her eyes look on one side where the wall is full of previous photos which were deemed best ones and then her eyes look on the other side where there are movie posters and pictures of famous movie monsters such as the mummy, Frankenstein and the Werewolf. Then after reviewing the photos, Melissa shows Bumpy and Lenny the photo with the bowtie symbol.

"I won!" said Bumpy.

But all of a sudden, Melissa throws out Bumpy's photo (that has a picture of Horace's wide open mouth) and shows the ghosts Lenny's photo (that has a picture of Pantsy whose mouth is wide open like a baby and it seems that he doesn't have his usual 3D glasses on and that his eyes were as big as a balloon.)

"What?" Bumpy cried in fury as Melissa gives Lenny a kiss who then makes Bumpy jealous who on the other hand throws a tantrum.

And all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.

Now's my chance to win fair Melissa's heart. Bumpy thought to himself.

()()()()()

The person who knocks on the door reveals to be no other than Kick Buttowski. He and Gunther are going to spend the night in the haunted house as a dare told by Brad.

"I don't like this Kick," Gunther cried as he and Kick step inside. "This place gives me the creeps."

"Relax Gunther," Kick said confidently. "I bet we'll be brave enough to spend the rest of the night in this old house and prove Brad wrong. Besides, what can go wrong?"

But as Kick and Gunther went inside to explore, things starts to go from harmless to real horror for our heroes. First off, while Kick (being the only one who's not afraid) explores the house even more, Gunther starts to shiver in fear as if someone was following him. He even went scared to see his own reflection in the mirror though Kick wasn't satisfied. As Kick continues on exploring, Gunther notices the changes of his reflection. The reflection made an insane smile on his face and all of a sudden, his mouth went as big as a balloon and took a picture of Gunther which then scared Gunther. As Gunther runs away to find Kick, the reflection then transforms back to Bumpy. He was satisfied with his picture.

()()()()()

Bumpy returns to the grand room and gave Melissa a picture of a terrified Gunther.

"Oh this is like the best photo ever!" Melissa cried as she gives Bumpy two kisses. "And that kid is cute too"

Lenny went angry and left the room to get a scarier photo of Gunther while Bumpy goes out on a date with Melissa who lasts about like 2 hours or so.

2 hours later and as Kick and a terrified Gunther explored around the house even more, Lenny and Bumpy do whatever they can to get a better photo of a scared Gunther.

1. After Gunther lost track of Kick, Lenny appears upside down, scares Gunther and took a photo.

2. As Gunther walks past a window, Bumpy appears outside, scares Gunther and took a photo.

3. While Gunther is looking at a weird picture of a woman similar to Lenny, Lenny's face went out of the picture then scares Gunther and took a photo.

4. Gunther noticed some delicious food in the dinning hall and as he was about to grab a wing from the chicken, Bumpy pops up who then scares him. He then took a photo of Gunther by using his mouth.

This goes on and on until Gunther was tired from running away from Bumpy and Lenny. As Gunther pants, Kick pokes him and Gunther turns around to see Kick's scary face in the flashlight. Gunther screams in horror and then faints.

"Oops," Kick said as Lenny takes Gunther's photo and disappears.

()()()()()

Later, Melissa is reviewing almost all the photos of a scared Gunther taken by both ghosts. Just then, some of the photos shocked her.

"What's this?" Melissa asked Bumpy and Lenny.

_Uh-oh! _Bumpy and Lenny thought. _We're in big trouble!_

Melissa kept on looking and there were some more that kept on shocking her. They were all photos of Kick who appears to be not scared.

1. Kick looks confident.

2. Kick is reading a book.

3. Kick is yawning as if something was boring.

4. Kick is making a silly face.

Bumpy and Lenny looked at the photos of Kick and both are figuring out who's photos belong to. It confused them and then comes the conclusion - neither of them took the photos of Kick.

"You disappointed me!" Melissa cried angrily. "Goodbye!"

And with that, Melissa flew out of the grand room looking rather upset than usual. As for Bumpy and Lenny, well they went into a terrible rage and set off to find Kick and Gunther.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Kick and Gunther are walking in a random hallway as usual until all of a sudden, there was a loud noise that is coming towards the boys. It was Lenny and he is disguising himself as a knight in shiny armor and in Gunther's point of view, it looks like that the armor had a mind of its own.

"AHHH!" Gunther screams as he runs away from an unafraid Kick and Lenny.

But Gunther accidentally bumps into something. It was a possesed Viking armor and in reality was Bumpy in disguise.

"Boo!" cried Bumpy.

"AHHHH!" Gunther screams again as he runs back to Kick who is standing very still like a statue.

As Gunther looks at Kick, Kick begins to shake in fear as if something bad was about to happen to him.

"Um Kick?" Gunther asked. "Is there something wrong with you?"

But Kick didn't answer. He kept on shaking in fear and then there's a slight pain in his chest. Lenny and Bumpy thought that Kick was scared and before they could take his photo, the rain stops and the moonlight shines upon Kick. Then something unusual happened to Kick. Kick immediately grew taller thus ripping his jumpsuit and then started to grow fur all over his body. He even grew sharp, scary fangs. Gunther keeps on watching as his best friend changes from a suburban daredevil to a scary werewolf.

"Awesome," Gunther said as WereKick lets out a huge growl.

The sight of WereKick sends Bumpy and Lenny to opposite directions, each accidentally taking a photo of themselves When Bumpy looks up at WereKick, he screams in horror and runs away, but not before grabbing Lenny with him. WereKick and Gunther were not confused.

()()()()()

Meanwhile in the grand room, Melissa is laughing her head off after seeing two photos of Bumpy and Lenny looking terrified. Just then, Bumpy and Lenny noticed a photo falling to the floor. It was a photo of WereKick.

"Let's teach this punk a lesson for humiliating us!" Lenny said to Bumpy.

"Yeah," Bumpy replied. "He'll pay for this!"

So Bumpy and Lenny held their right hands firmly as they began to transform into an even nastier, scarier monster.

()()()()()

Later in the main room, WereKick and Gunther are sitting on sofas by the fireplace.

"How did you become a werewolf in the first place?" Gunther asked WereKick.

"I don't know how," WereKick replied. "But I bet it has something to do with the incident in science class last year."

_Ms. Fitzpatrick's class is going to do a lab assignment today and every single student is to have a lab partner. Unfortunately, Ms. Fitzpatrick picks out the partners and Kick is stuck working with Kendall._

_"Now Clarence," Kendall said to Kick like a teacher. "We're going to make a formula that can change the behavior and growth of mankind."_

_Kick shrugs as he handed Kendall the items needed to make a formula. Ten minutes later, the formula is finished and Kick and Kendall are presenting it to the class. Just then, someone yelled Kendall to test it on Kick. Kendall agrees and forced Kick to drink the formula. Kick obeys and all of a sudden, Kick starts to feel a pain in his chest and collapsed on the floor not breathing._

_"What have I done wrong?" Kendall cried as she tries to wake Kick up._

_"Someone call the doctor!" Gunther cried. "Get some help!"_

"Maybe it's the formula that Kendall and I made at school," WereKick replied.

Just then, the mansion started shaking as if there was a sudden earthquake, but it wasn't the earthquake, it was a monstrous bull (Lenny and Bumpy merged together) and it looks real angry. WereKick decided to fight against the bull while Gunther hid behind one of the sofas and cowered in fear.

"This could get good," said WereKick as he begins to fight against the bull.

WereKick lets out a punch at the bull although he noticed that his arm had just stretched like a rubber band. But something's not right here. Kick's arm went through the bull's chest but the chest itself had morphed a hole for the fist.

"What the biscuits?" WereKick cried as the bull spears WereKick which sends him flying towards the wall.

In Gunther's point of view, it seems that WereKick is fighting against no one. WereKick tries fight back, but the bull keeps on hitting him even more and then all of a sudden, the bull's camera went flying in the air and fell beside Gunther in which the photo comes out. It started off blank but then it changes to a picture of a bull.

"I've got it!" Gunther cried as he threw the camera at WereKick. "Kick! Try taking photos of this room and maybe something like an invisible ghost may appear in photo!"

WereKick nods and starts taking photos around the room in hopes that the bull might show up. But the photos take time to load a picture. Then all of a sudden, the invisible bull kicks WereKick in the chest and sends him flying towards the wall where he is now knocked out. The bull now becomes solid and grabs the camera but all of a sudden, the bull splits in half, the halves formed into Bumpy and Lenny respectively and are now fighting for the camera. They didn't notice that WereKick woke up and is now really angry. WereKick grabs the remaining bull's legs and spins Bumpy and Lenny around until they are sick. Then WereKick threw them in the air almost hitting the glass dome and fell down where all of a sudden, WereKick punches them in the face which sends them crashing through the glass doom and flying up in the moonlight.

As WereKick and Gunther celebrate their victory, the camera was picked up by Melissa who then pulls a photo out of the camera. It was a photo of WereKick in action. Melissa was overjoyed and even more so when she saw WereKick in person. She wanted to meet him, but how?

Finally, morning came and WereKick walks out of the mansion feeling quite relieved. As WereKick decides to return home, Gunther starts hugging him. WereKick had a feeling that there's something wrong with Gunther as he noticed a heart shaped birthmark on his left eye.

Inside the mansion, Bumpy and Lenny are watching what's happening outside while keeping an eye on the real Gunther who is struggling to escape.

Outside, the fake Gunther advised WereKick to take a photo of themselves. WereKick agrees and the fake Gunther hugs Kick just as the camera flashs. The photo floats down to the ground and the picture reveals to be WereKick being hugged by no other than Melissa.


	5. A Visit from Avery

_**A Visit From Avery**_

It was a fine day for Kick to pull off a stunt at Widowmaker's Peak. The midnight stunt at Dead Man's Drop as a werewolf last night wasn't going very well. He knew that he is being watched by some guy from the military and that the next time Kick turns into a werewolf, he has to watch out and be careful because he'll never know when someone from the military may strike.

As soon as Kick makes it to the top, he takes a deep breath before doing the stunt.

_Time to get awesome. _Kick thought as he gets on the skateboard.

But before Kick has the chance, guess who came to ruin the day? Kick's annoying and talkative cousin Kyle.

"Hi cousin Kick!" said Kyle. "What are you up to as of today? Are you going to do a stunt? Or are you going to go out on a date?"

"Will you be quiet for once Kyle?" Kick said. "And did you say something about a date?"

"Yes cousin Kick. A date with a girl. Do you know someone in particular that you want to date with?"

"Well ...um..."

Kick thought for a moment. Who does he love in particular but never had the chance to confess it to? All the girls he knew so far (besides Wacky Jackie) are Kendall his former rival and current friend, Scarlett his one-time crush, Betty who is his original friend, Jonni who is Kendall's new best friend, Sissy who is Johnny's rival and her best friend Janet Nelson Jr. Does either one of them have a crush on him that he doesn't know about?

"Actually Kyle," Kick started. "I don't know who I want to date with, and I'm not planning to date for now."

"Oh that's okay cousin Kick," Kyle replied. "Just so you know, my family is coming over today and I like you to meet my sisters once you get there."

"Your sisters? You never told me you have sisters."

"You didn't ask."

()()()()()

Several hours later, Kick returns home to see his mom talking to Aunt Sally. Behind Aunt Sally is Kyle but beside him was a 16-year old red-haired, green eyed girl who wore a pink sweater, a pair of jeans and is holding a notepad and a 12-year old girl who has very short brown hair, pure blue eyes, tanned skin and wore a white T-shirt under a brown leather jacket with the number 12 on it, pinkish yellow boots, and black tights under a jean skirt and she's holding a gun? Since when does this girl started carrying a gun with her at all times?

"Oh you're here Kick," Honey said when she saw Kick at the doorway. "Your Aunt Sally and I wanted you to meet your cousin Kyle's sisters."

"Yeah," said Aunt Sally. "Meet Phyllis and Avery. Phyllis is red-haired and a teenager and Avery's brunette and is just a kid."

"Phyllis is a high school reporter," said Kyle. "She likes to write stories and does a lot of gossiping and rumors. She is also quite nosy and doesn't seem to mind her own business."

"HEY!" yelled Phyllis. "Quit being a chatterbox for God's sake."

"And she's also short-tempered and quite feisty. Plus she thinks she's the boss of me and Avery while Mom's away."

"I'm warning ya Kyle! If you don't change the subject right now, I'm gonna pound ya into horse meat."

"What about Avery?" Kick asked thus changing the subject.

"Oh her?" Kyle replied. "She's kind of likes to be alone at sometimes and is very short-temper. Plus she also does stunts ... for a girl that is. When she's angry, she's really scary so you better watch out if she does get angry."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Just then, Avery gives Kick a weird look.

"What?" Kick asked Avery.

"Just who are you and what do you do?" Avery said coldly. "For a boy that is."

"Avery," Aunt Sally spoke firmly. "It's not nice giving your cousin Kick dirty looks. Why don't you, Kyle and Kick go outside and have fun while your Aunt Honey, Phylis and I have some tea?"

"Fine."

()()()()()

Meanwhile back in Area 51, the General, Mr. Black and Mr. White were disappointed from failing an attempt to capture WereKick a few nights earlier.

"Three nights so far and we can't capture that blasted werewolf!" the General said angrily. "C'mon men! Are we assholes or are we MEN?"

"We're men sir!" said Mr. Black.

"Good, now tonight we are to try again and this time capture him. Now we all know where he'll strike once the moon comes up."

"Where?" asked Mr. White.

"Devil's Grave."

"What's Devil's Grave?" Mr. Black asked.

"Devil's Grave is just like Dead Man's Drop and Widowmaker's Peak, but only it's bigger and deadlier. No one is able to conquer that cliff. Ever."

"Do you think that's where the werewolf will strike?"

"Mr. Black. Would I ever lie to you when this is important for the safety of all the citizens of America?"

"No."

"Then that's where the werewolf will strike. Move out!"

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Kick, Avery and Kyle are at Widowmaker's Peak where Kick wants to pull off a stunt there and so does Avery for some reason.

"You ready to do this?" Kick asked Avery.

"I was born ready," Avery replied while pulling out a maroon skateboard with the number 12 on it.

"Let's rock."

"Oh please don't get hurt Avery," Kyle muttered out loud. "If you do get hurt, I just don't know how Phyllis will react to this. She might throw up a tantrum."

"Does she really?" Kick asked.

"All the time when things went wrong."

And so after another minutes of Kyle talking a lot of useless things, Kick and Avery start conquering Widowmaker's Peak. While reaching the bottom, Kick and Avery have a small talk.

"So what do you do most of your time?" Avery asked.

"When I'm not busy with stunts," Kick replied. "I usually want to be alone and focus on other things."

"What other things?"

"Reading ancient books and Uncle Jule's old diaries before his death seven years ago."

"Uncle Jules? I didn't know he died. What happened?"

"Seven years ago, Uncle Jules, his assistant aka Ms. Fitzpatrick and I went to Egypt to find ancient artifacts to bring back to the museum. One night, all three of us caught the deadly flu called _Di-Ra_ and it was all because of a rival archaeologist who is bitterly jealous of Uncle Jules. We were rushed to the hospital afterwards. Only Ms. Fitzpatrick and I survived the flu and are immune for a long period of time meaning that we cannot get it again until further notice."

"And what about Uncle Jules?"

"You don't want to know. It's too painful."

"But I want to know. What happened to Jules?"

"He didn't survive the flu. He died."

This shocks Avery. Avery felt like crying from hearing this.

"H-he died?" Avery asked sadly.

"I'm afraid so." replied Kick. "So what about you Avery? What do you do most of your time?"

But before Avery has the chance to speak, Kick and Avery are stopped by Wacky Jackie who blocks their way to get down to the bottom of Widowmaker's Peak.

"Oh Kick," Jackie started. "There's an awesome movie playing in theatre and I thought that you might like to come watch it with me?"

"Maybe some other time," Kick replied. "It's just-"

But before Kick can finish his sentence, Jackie stares angrily at Avery.

"Oh now I know why you don't want to come," Jackie spoke angrily. "You're having a date with a girl I don't know about. Is that right?"

"We're not having a date," Kick replied.

"Oh really? Is she your girlfriend or something?"

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"I'm not his girlfriend," said Avery looking ticked. "I'm his cousin Avery."

"Well cousin or not, you stay away from Kick," Jackie said once again. "Cause he's mine."

"It's not true Wacky Jackie," Kyle butted in. "Kick is not your boyfriend and you can't tell Avery or any other girl in Mellowbrook what to do if they do go near Kick. If either one of the girls in his school - Kendall, Sissy, Betty, Janet, or Jonni claim him as her boyfriend or has a crush on him, there's nothing you can do about it."

"After all this time, I have to deal with three girls who are after my Kick, but ever since all the citizens of Porkbelly moved here, I have to deal two more who are secretly going after him."

"Um not exactly. Jonni is currently in a relationship with school bully Bumper."

"Hmm. If Jonni is having an affair with Bumper, then that means that I have to deal with only four girls who are after Kick. LOOK OUT LADIES! WACKY JACKIE IS COMING AFTER YOU!"

And with that, Jackie ran off to the town.

()()()()()

That night, Kyle, Avery and Phyllis are sleeping with Kick, Brad and Brianna for the night since Sally has to go to Mexico for an important job. Kyle is sleeping with Brad (possibly due to Kick being a werewolf at night and that he might scare him to death) while Phyllis and Avery sleep with Brianna in her girly, glittery room.

"If you girls are to sleep in my room tonight, you'll live by my rules," Brianna spoke like a practical person. "First of all, you are to participate in my tea parties and dress up games."

"Really?" Phyllis said looking annoyed. "It looks like you're trying to get us to become girly and naive. I'm a practical woman and I do practical things that are normal. I'm a journalist for instant."

"What about Avery?"

"That's another story. Does a lot of non-girly and non-practical things. She acts more like she's living in a violent video game since she has a skateboard with her most of the time."

"She acts like my brother Clarence."

"We all know that."

In Kick's room, Kick is quite nervous. The reason is that at night when the moon comes up, he turns into a werewolf and will get scared if anyone finds out about this. And worse of all, he will be hunted down by the military and will have to undergo painful experiments.

_Please let there be no moon tonight, _Kick thoughtfully prayed. _Just one night without getting hunted down by the military as a werewolf is all I'm asking for God's sake._

Unfortunately, the moon appears and it shines on him.

_Aw biscuits._

Kick screams as pain flows throughout his body. He is slowly changing from a normal teenager to a monstrous werewolf once more. What he didn't notice is Avery entering his room and she was surprised at this.

"Kick?" Avery spoke. "What happened to you?"

Rather than answering to Avery, WereKick jumps out of his window and runs off to the place no one has ever gone to before - Devil's Grave.

_I've got to follow him, _Avery thought as she follows WereKick with her skateboard. _I need to make sure he doesn't get hurt by those who think he is a monster._

So Avery follows WereKick until she corners him at the top of Devil's Grave, a cliff that is 10 times bigger than Widowmaker's Peak and more deadly than ever. No one has ever conquered Devil's Grave before. When WereKick saw Avery, he is hesitated and angry.

"Did you come here to hunt me down and turn me it to the military?" WereKick asked angrily.

"I don't want to hurt you Kick," Avery replied.

"Liar! I'm a monster to you!"

"No Kick. You're not a monster. Please try to understand this Kick. You're my awesome cousin and I will protect you. No matter what."

But all of a sudden, a net springs into the air and finally captures WereKick. The General, Mr. Black and Mr. White jump out of their hiding places and surrounded WereKick.

"I thought you said you wouldn't turn me in to the military!" WereKick yelled at Avery.

"I didn't know Kick," Avery replied. "I swear."

"Nicely done men," said the General. "Let's take this werewolf back to Area 51 and do some painful experiments on him."

"No, wait!" Avery screams as she runs up to WereKick.

"What the? A girl? Mr. Black!"

"Yes General?" Mr. Black spoke.

"Keep her away from this beast. Her safety comes first."

Mr. Black grabs Avery's arm and pulls her away from WereKick.

"You can't do this!" Avery yelled as she tries to free herself.

"Sorry kid," Mr. Black said. "But this beast is dangerous and we have orders. Besides, it's for your own good."

"But-"

"No buts lady."

Once after Mr. White placed a sleeping dart at WereKick and putting him to sleep, Mr. Black releases Avery and joins in with the General and Mr. White. Avery tries to run to them, but Mr. Black shoots a sleeping dart at her. All Avery could do before drifting to sleep is watch as the military took WereKick away from her.

"Kick," Avery spoke her last words before drifting to sleep.

()()()()()

"Wake up," said a voice.

Avery woke up from her sleep to find herself in a room of a tree house. She saw a tall, blonde girl wearing a blue T-shirt, blue hat, grey shorts and black shoes.

"Annabelle?" Avery spoke with a Southern belle accent. "What's going on here?"

"You were asleep at Devil's Grave," Annabelle replied. "It seems that someone knocked you out cold while on a mission some sort."

"Where am I anyway?"

"Sector EM Base. Tell me what happened."

"Well I witnessed my 13-year old cousin Kick transforming into a werewolf and I tracked him down at Devil's Grave. Before I could reason with him, the military showed up and captured him. I tried saving Kick but one of the military men shot me down and put me to sleep. All I could do is watch helplessly as the military take Kick away to Area 51 where they'll do painful experiments on him."

"Sounds terrible. We should let Numbuh 362 know about that immediately."

"That won't be necessary Annabelle."

"Why not?"

"She'll never believe that my teenage cousin is kidnapped by the military. Besides, all of us KND operatives don't trust teenagers anyway."

"Eh good point. So what do we do?"

"We?"

"Yeah we. Don't forget that your cousin's best friend is my cousin Gunther."

"Oh I know that."

"So how do we get to Area 51 and save Kick?"

"Leave that to me. Annabelle. It's time for a rescue party."

()()()()()

Back in Area 51, WereKick is strapped into a table as the General, Mr. Black and Mr. White circle around him.

"What do you want with me?" WereKick asked.

"We're gonna do painful tests on you," Mr. Black responded. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

"Guess again." said a voice.

The General, Mr. Black, Mr. White and Kick turn around to see Avery and Annabelle crashing through the window and carrying dangerous weapons.

"Hey assholes!" Avery yelled. "Get your sorry asses on the wall and stay there while my friend and I release the beast!"

"Make us." said Mr. White.

Just then, Annabelle pulls out a grenade and threatens the three men with it. They give in and went up to the wall while Avery frees WereKick.

"Are you okay?" Avery asked.

"Not really," WereKick replied.

"Why are you guys standing there like cowards?" the General yelled at Mr. Black and Mr. White. "They're just kids for Pete's sake! GET THEM!"

"Right away sir!" replied Mr. Black and Mr. White as they trap Avery, Annabelle and WereKick in a cage.

"We caught you kids fair and square," Mr. Black said.

"Now all you need to do if you girls want to go home," Mr. White said. "Turn the wolf in to us."

"So we can do painful experiments on him."

"And there's nothing you can do about it."

"But can I have one last request from you guys?" Annabelle asked.

"And what's the request Blondie?" Mr. Black replied.

"Can I have a spicy chili dog? Pretty please?"

"Well we can't say no on that. Why not."

So Mr. Black makes a chili dog and added spicy stuff on it. Then he gives it to Annabelle.

"Enjoy your meal."

So Annabelle eats the chili dog whole which pleases her. Few seconds later, Annabelle feels the burning in her inside and lets out a fire from her mouth as if she was a dragon breathing fire directly as Mr. Black who has the cage remote.

She yelled, "FIRE SOUL!"

And with that, the now burned Mr. Black drops the remote directly onto Avery's feet who then deactivates the cage.

"Nice work Annabelle," Avery said.

"Don't mentioned it," said Annabelle.

But it's not over for the General and Mr. White as they continued on trying to get Avery and Annabelle to turn WereKick in to them. WereKick felt that he should help Avery and Annabelle so he stretches his arms and grabs the General and Mr. White. Then he cracks their skulls, knocking them out cold, and lets out a big roar.

The battle is over as Avery, Annabelle and WereKick return home before the sun rises.

()()()()()

The next day was a school day as Avery and Annabelle headed off to Science Class when all of a sudden, Mr. Sin blocks their way.

"Hello Avery Buttowski and Annabelle Magnuson," said Mr. Sin. "Or should I say Numbuhs 12 and 45 of the Kids Next Door?"

"Who the hell are you?" Avery spoke.

"I'm Mr. Sin, the Health teacher for boys. So Avery. I heard that your science teacher is no other than one of your enemies from last night - Mr. Black."

"How would you know that Mr. Black is my science teacher?"

"Because he happens to be your daredevil cousin's science teacher. Have fun beating up their asses."

As Mr. Sin walks away, Avery and Annabelle went silent.

()()()()()

In Science Class, Mr. Black is doing the attendance when all of a sudden, he saw Avery and Annabelle sitting beside Kick and Gunther.

_Those two girls from last night are in my class? _Mr. Black thought. _Now that's just plain wrong._

While the class mingled, Jackie kept on giving Avery dirty looks.

"Now look here Mexican girl," Jackie started. "Cousin or not, you are to stay the hell away from my Kick. Ya hear me!"

"He's not yours Jackie," Avery replied. "And stop calling me Mexican girl godammit!"

"Quiet class!" Mr. Black yelled. "Now today we are going to Devil's Grave and hunt down the most terrifying beast in the world."

"And what's the beast?" Kick asked.

"The werewolf."

"The werewolf?" Kendall asked. "He only appears at night. He doesn't come out in broad daylight."

"Oh well in that case, we'll be doing a little class field trip to Devil's Grave at exactly sunset and we'll be ready once the werewolf comes by to say hello. Do I make myself clear class?"

Everyone nod in agreement.

()()()()()

"Hut, two, three, four," Mr. Black cried repeatedly as he and the class march up to the top of Devil's Grave, carrying dangerous weapons with them.

Devil's Grave is so high and big that most of the students are scared of heights. By the time the class reached the top, everyone is tired.

"Now then class," Mr. Black spoke again. "The sun is setting so I guess it wouldn't hurt for all of us to have a little snack or something."

Finally for the class, they can eat their packed snacks. Avery and Annabelle forgot to bring their lunches for the field trip so instead, Kick and Gunther were generous enough to lend them their lunches. What Kick didn't notice is that Jackie is stealing some of his snacks.

"Kick's snacks are so tasty," Jackie said with her mouth full. "I bet he'll marry me someday for food."

"Oh shut it Wacky Jackie," Avery said coldly. "It's obvious that cousin Kick doesn't want you in his life that's all."

"What's with you Mexican girl? You're also eating Kick's lunch too."

"Oh shut up and eat your ugly rice balls or something. And quit calling me Mexican"

Now this made Jackie angry. To get back at her, Jackie grabs an uneaten sandwich and placed super hot sauce in it.

"Oh Avery," Jackie said sweetly. "This sandwich looks so yummy. Care to try it?"

"Oh?" Avery spoke as Jackie gives her the sandwich. "It's very rare for you to be so considerate and say my name for once. Thank you."

And with that, Avery takes a bite while Jackie stares at her evilly.

_Sweet revenge. _Jackie thought evilly.

The rest of the class kept on mingling and talking about other stuff when all of a sudden, Avery feels the burning in her inside and lets out a fire from her mouth as if she was a dragon breathing fire to no one and no where.

She yelled, "FIRE SOUL!"

And then faints while the class went silent and shocked. Jackie on the other hand laughs so hard out loud and then gets tackled by a furious Avery.

"Why you?" Avery screams as she pinned Jackie to the ground. "How dare you?"

"You deserve it because you're so mean to me!" Jackie replied.

"What would you do if my appendix exploded?"

"Aw break it up ladies!" Mr. Black said while pulling Jackie and Avery apart. "Why can't you ladies be friends?"

"She's wacky!" Avery replied.

"She's a son of a bitch!" Jackie replied also.

As Avery and Jackie continued fighting, the sun finally sets and Kick once more transforms into a werewolf, in front of the entire class this time.

"Aw biscuits," WereKick said as he is stared at by the class and Mr. Black in particular.

"Kick?" Mr. Black spoke. "You're the werewolf?"

"I'm afraid so," WereKick replied.

"So all this time, I was hunting you?"

"Yep."

"Oh my god! I hunted you all this time!"

"You bastard!" Jonni yelled at Mr. Black.

"So what do we do now since Kick's the werewolf?" Kendall asked.

"Well," Mr. Black started. "Since Kick is in my class and that he's also a werewolf until further notice, I'd say its best that we keep this out little secret from everyone else. Also I, Mr. Black promise not to harm Kick, werewolf or not anymore and will also promise not to do very painful experiments on him for military needs."

"Are you certain you're making a promise you cannot break?" Avery spoke.

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Do you swear you keep that promise at all times?"

"I swear to God I keep my promise."

"Good."

"Now then, since we don't want to end this trip for nothing, how about telling me how Kick became a werewolf in the first place?"

"Well," Kendall spoke first. "It was last year when we were doing a science experiment and I was partnered with Kick. We are to make a formula that could alter one's body to another. We present our formula to the class and one of the classes asked me to get Kick to drink the formula. We hesitated at first but then, we gave in and Kick drinks the formula."

"Then what happened?"

"After I drink the formula," Kick replied to Mr. Black. "I felt a pain in my chest and I couldn't breathe. I collapsed and blacked out. And then I don't remember anything else ever since. Then one night, my older brother dared Gunther and me to go to a haunted house and spend one night there. I accept the challenge and then all of a sudden, two ghosts were trying to scare us."

"And then the moon went up and Kick transforms into a werewolf," Gunther said also. "Then he beats the hell out of three ghosts. It was epic."

"Then I lost the ability to turn into a werewolf one Halloween night during the Ramps of Horror party at the BattleSnax."

"Oh yeah," Mr. Black interrupted. "I remembered the Ramps of Horror. SariSpy56 was in it as the host and so is Chris Nest."

"And then we did the formula incident again on the first day of school and it happened again," Kendall said again. "I was afraid of that at the moment."

"And then later at night, I transform into a werewolf once more and ever since then, I've been doing midnight stunts on Dead Man's Drop, Widowmaker's Peak and as of now, Devil's Grave," Kick said.

"Well that was one heck of a story," Mr. Black said finally.

"Yes," Avery said. "Yes it is.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

"So you're telling us that the werewolf is no other than Kick Buttowski the suburban daredevil?" the General said in a shock.

"It's true sir," Mr. Black said. "And I promise myself never to do painful experiments on him nor will I harm him in any way."

"Well that's very nice of you Mr. Black, but we can't."

"Why not?"

"He's a werewolf and werewolves are dangerous. He might destroy the town at night."

"No he won't. He's only going to do midnight stunts or maybe fight off bad guys to save the town like a superhero until sunrise."

"Yeah but he needs sleep too. Every single monster in this world needs good sleep y'know."

"I'll tell him that sir."

"Good and uh, tell him to stay strong and sharp at night too. The world as of now is counting on him."


	6. Sissy vs Jen

_**Sissy vs. Jen**_

"Alright ladies," said a pretty teacher, Ms. April as she enters a pink classroom. "Welcome to Home Economics. Care to tell me why you ladies are here?"

"Because we have to choose between Home Economics and Shop Class." Kendall answered. "And that Shop Class is for immature boys only?"

"No Kendall. You ladies are here because you are America's future. Some may someday be doctors or lawyers while most of you will be doing housework and being all preppy and pretty like a perfect lady. And that's why we have Home Economics."

"Dang," Jackie said. "How come Betty gets to go to Shop Class with the other boys and more specifically with my Kick?"

()()()()()

In Shop Class, Betty is sitting with the boys who all took Shop Class while the teacher, Mr. Fern speaks.

"Hello class," said Mr. Fern. "We will be doing a lot of things manly around here for a few months and that means doing odd manly things to impress our wives."

"Yippee!" Betty cried.

()()()()()

"Now ladies," Ms. April said again. "There are rules in this class. You are not to screw around like an immature boy. If you screw around too much, you won't be able to be a perfect and happy lady. Now I want to know the troublemakers."

"Sissy's the troublemaker," Jonni said while pointing at Sissy.

"Nun-uh!" Jackie said. "Jen is the real troublemaker here."

The class looks at the girl Jackie is pointing at who is in fact Jen. Jen is pale skinned with freckles on her cheeks and has short auburn hair tied in a small ponytail. She has fairly hazel eyes and looks rather sleepy and miserable. She wore a huge, white T-shirt, black leggings, a pair of red sneakers and an indigo knit cap with a white fluff on top.

"Whatever," Jen said coldly. "I don't care."

"Is that true Jen?" Ms. April asked. "You're a troublemaker?"

"No."

"Well you better not be, because in Home Economics we-"

Before Ms. April can finish her sentence, Jen flips her off with the middle finger.

"HEY!" Ms. April yelled angrily. "Did you just flip me off?"

"No," Jen lied.

"Yes you did! I saw that!"

"Holy crap," Jonni whispered to Kendall. "Jen may be a troublemaker but Sissy sure is a real troublemaker here."

"Yeah," Kendall whispered back. "Sissy's meaner than Jen."

"Let's discuss this during lunch period."

()()()()()

Lunch period came and there is a major conversation between, Kendall, Jonni and Jackie about Sissy and Jen. Some of the students are eavesfropping on the conversation as well.

"I say that Sissy's the troublemaker in school," Jonni said proudly to Jackie.

"No way flame girl," Jackie replied. "Jen is the real one."

"Oh really?" Kendall said looking confident. "Then how about we make a little side bet on that?"

"Sure," Jackie replied. "You and Jonni can take Sissy's side while I take Jen's side."

"True. We'll get Sissy and Jen to fight each other after school."

"And how about a little something for the bet? Whoever wins the duel gets five bucks from the loser."

"It's on Wacky Jackie!" Jonni said in agreement. "See you and Jen after school."

After a little conversation, Jackie looks for Jen while Kendall and Jonni look for Sissy.

"Oh Jen," Jackie said to Jen. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"So what's holding up?" Jen replied.

"It just that you have a fight against Sissy after school and I was wondering if you would come and fight her? Wouldn't it be fun?"

"Not as fun as having to wait outside the principal's door."

"Then it's settled. Meet me at the schoolyard after school."

As for Kendall and Jonni, they met up with Sissy who is in the library.

"Hey Sissy," Jonni cried.

"Yes?" Sissy replied.

"Can Kendall and I talk to your for a quick sec?"

"Sure. So what is it?"

"You have a fight against Jen after school and we were wondering if you would show up and beat the hell out of Jen. Will you pretty please?"

"Fine. When's the fight?"

"After school," Kendall replied. "Don't be late."

()()()()()

Later in Heath class for boys, the boys are waiting for Mr. Sin to show up.

"Maybe he's in jail," Johnny suggested. "After all, he is a criminal."

"Nonsense," Ronaldo replied. "I bet we have a substitute instead who'll teach us real things rather than having a teacher telling us our deepest, darkest secrets in front of everyone."

"Creepy, but true."

"Have you guys heard the news?" Gunther butted in.

"What news?" Johnny asked.

"The news about Mr. Sin."

"What happened to him?" Kick asked.

"He got injured in a car accident and went to the hospital till further notice"

Just then, the door flung open to reveal Harold wearing gym clothes.

"Mr. Buttowski?" Johnny cried. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the substitute teacher now Johnny," Harold replied. "Now for starters, let's get started by doing some push-ups. How does that sound boys?"

No one spoke for a while as they get into doing push-ups followed by sit-ups and then jogging. Harold's teaching is more like a boot camp than a regular gym. Finally, the school bell rang.

"I hope you boys learned what I've taught you today," Harold spoke. "Because I am going to be teaching you boys for a week."

()()()()()

Outside the school, Kendall, Jonni and Jackie are going to the school yard with a few students following them.

By the time the kids get to the backyard, they waited for Sissy and Jen to show up.

"Hwy what's going on?" Johnny asks Jonni.

"Sissy and Jen are going to have a fight," Jonni replied.

"Really? Awesome."

Then Johnny starts to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Jonni asked.

"It's funny because Sissy and Jen both went home about 10 minutes ago." Johnny replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah. They left."

"We'll have to postpone it till tomorrow after school at Dead Man's Drop instead."

The students groan as they went home while Kendall, Jonni and Jackie search for Sissy and Jen.

()()()()()

At Sissy's house, Kendall and Jonni knock at the door. The door went open to reveal Sissy's mom.

"Can I help you ladies?" Sissy's mom asked.

"Can we talk to Sissy please?" Kendall asked.

"Why certainly."

Then Sissy's mom went inside to call Sissy to come down. When Sissy came down, her mother went to the kitchen to bake some cookies.

"What do you want to talk about?" Sissy asked.

"How come you didn't show up to fight against Jen?" Kendall asked.

"I don't feel like fighting. Besides, there's no reason for me to fight her unless she does something bad."

"Oh really?" Jonni said sarcastically. "Then I guess you didn't notice that Jen is throwing mud at your dad's grave."

"What! She threw mud at my dad's grave?"

"Technically yes."

"Why that son of a bitch! I'll tear her apart limb to limb!"

"Great. Meet us tomorrow at Dead Man's Drop where Jen will be there."

()()()()()

As for Jackie, she has a hard time trying to convince Jen to fight Sissy.

"I don't want to fight," Jen said angrily. "There's no reason for me to fight Sissy unless she does something that will anger me."

"Oh," Jackie replied. "Then I guess you won't care about what Sissy said about your mom."

"Nope."

"Oh well I guess you won't care about what she said about your cat."

"WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT GINGER!"

"She says that your cat is a rabid shiteater."

"GODDAMMIT! WHERE'S SISSY! I WANT TO TEAR HER UP! WHERE!"

"At Dead Man's Drop. You can fight her tomorrow after school."

"Sound's reasonable. Goodbye."

And with that, Jen flips Jackie off and slams the door on her face.

()()()()()

The next day at school at Home Economics, Jackie, Jonni and Kendall are now confident that Jen and Sissy are going to fight after school at Dead Man's Drop this time.

"Wait until Sissy kicks Jen's butt," Jonni said to Jackie.

"Ha! Jen will kick Sissy's butt instead!" Jackie replied back.

"Oh really? Then why don't we upgrade the bet then. Winner gets 10 bucks."

"And an additional prize. Winner gets to go on a date with (_sighs_) Kick Buttowski."

"It's a deal," Kendall said.

"And when I have your ten bucks, I'm gonna buy myself a huge, TV in the world!"

"That's more than ten bucks four-eyes," Jonni said angrily.

"Well, if I get ten bucks from each of you, that's like $2000."

"Not exactly. It'll be $20."

"HEY!" yelled Ms. April. "Quit screwing around!"

"We'll discuss this after school at Dead Man's Drop," Jonni whispers.

()()()()()

At lunch, from left to right on a table is seated Kendall, Jonni, Jackie, Sissy, Jen and Betty. Much of the class is assembled before them. A large sign saying "Sissy VS Jen" hangs above them from the ceiling.

"Okay so just to set the record straight," Kendall spoke like a politician. "The fight will be happening out at Dead Man's Drop after school at 3:30."

"How long does the fight last?" asked Gunther.

"I uh..." Jen tries to speak but Jackie covers her mouth.

"However long Jen wants it to last," Jackie said while the kids laugh. "Jen has been reading for this fight since day one when we all have to choose between Home Economics and Shop Class. She doesn't even view this as a challenge."

"She'll view it as a challenge when she gets her ass kicked!" Jonni yelled.

"What's that? It sounded like some bird chirping at the teacher or something,"

"Shut up four-eyes!"

"Don't call me four-eyes, you cloned bitch!"

Jackie jumps on Jonni and they start fighting. Betty and Kendall soon join in leaving Sissy and Jen looking at them.

"Wow," Avery spoke. "Sissy and Jen really hate each other huh? This should be a good fight."

()()()()()

At Dead Man's Drop, the entire school is waiting for Jen and Sissy to show up and they did. Kick also joins the group as well.

"What's going on here?" Kick asked Kendall.

"Sissy's gonna fight Jen." Kendall replied.

"Oh cool."

"Stay pissed Sissy," Kendall said to Sissy. "Stay pissed."

"Alright," Jackie cried. "This fight is going to be the best one yet!"

"You're gonna be proven wrong Wacky Jackie," Jonni said to Jackie.

"You'll be eating those words clone girl,"

"No I won't because you'll be eating them first stalker."

"Alright," Kendall said. "Here we go."

"And…" Jonni cried as she does the drum roll. "_FIGHT_!"

But Sissy and Jen didn't move a muscle. They just stared at each other.

"What are you waiting for?" Jonni said looking disappointed. "Fight!"

But again, Sissy and Jen didn't move.

"We don't know how to fight," Jen said in a deep tone.

"It's easy," Jackie said. "All you have to do is slap, punch and kick each other. That's called fighting."

But all Sissy and Jen do when they _do _fight is slap each other's face. Everyone is disappointed at this. It's no real fight. It's a sissy, catfight.

"This sucks," Jackie muttered.

"Okay guys," Kendall said pulling Sissy and Jen apart. "I'm sorry everyone but the fight is going to be postponed until Sissy and Jen learn to fight."

"And that if they do fight, we move them to a new location. The new location is Devil's Grave."

"Be there if you want to see the fight." Jonni said.

And so the students left with only Kendall, Jackie, Jonni, Sissy and Jen left behind.

"Alright we need to teach Sissy and Jen how to fight," Kendall said. "Jonni and I will take Sissy to see Meg who will teach her some boxing."

"And I'll get Jen to do some martial arts," Jackie replied.

()()()()()

In Quahog, Kendall, Jonni and Sissy went to the Griffins' home to see if Meg is home. When they knock, Lois, the mother of Meg answers.

"What can I do for you?" Lois asked sweetly.

"We're here to see Meg," Kendall replied. "Is she home?"

"Oh, she just left to go to the gym to do some training."

"Thanks."

A few minutes later, the three girls found the gym and saw Meg wearing boxing gloves and beating the hell out of her dad. Eventually, Meg spots them and instead of attacking them, she greeted them.

"Hi guys," Meg said. "How's Mellowbrook?"

"It's good," Kendall replied. "Can we ask you a favor?"

"Sure. What's the favor?"

Kendall and Jonni push Sissy closer to Meg.

"Can you teach this girl, Sissy how to fight?" Jonni asked. "She's going to have a fight with a girl who flips people off."

"Sure," Meg replied. "Just get her equipped with boxing gloves and meet me at the wrestling mat in a few minutes."

Five minutes later.

"Alright Sissy, you're in luck for fighting." Meg said as all four girls get onto the mat. "I used to be a punching bag until after spending a few months in prison, my dad here is your new punching bag."

"But I can still kick ass," Peter growled.

"Now Sissy, boxing may be a man's sport, but in my case, it is also a woman's sport for those who don't want to be sissies and preppy and cowards. Nothing is more tomboyish and man than boxing. It is a woman at her most man."

"I don't get it," Sissy said.

Just then, Peter punches Sissy in the face.

"What'cha got bitch?" Peter asked Sissy.

Just then, Sissy knocks Peter down who cries like a baby. However, Peter knocks Sissy out.

"Well it looks like we'll have to apply the Oppenheimer technique," Meg said looking a bit disappointed.

Just then, Sissy gets up, ready to fight again.

"PUNCH HIM IN THE GROIN SISSY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!" Meg shouted.

And Sissy did. She punches Peter in the groin so hard that Peter yelled in pain.

"Very good Sissy," Meg said finally. "You are now becoming less ladylike and manlier than ever."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Jackie and Jen are still in Mellowbrook and they found themselves a martial arts gym for everyone to join. As they went inside, they are greeted by a middle-aged, Asian man.

"Welcome young ones," said the man. "I am Suko Yoko, the teacher of this gym."

"Hi," Jackie said. "My friend Jen here wants to do martial arts."

"Oh. Well then let's begin the training, but first put on your required clothes for this training and meet me at the stadium in exactly 10 minutes."

10 minutes later, Jackie and Jen are wearing traditional karate outfits and are standing with Suko.

"You must learn the ancient art of discipline and respect," Suko said to Jen. "Are you girls ready to fight?"

"Hell yeah!" Jackie said excitedly.

"Then go!"

Jackie and Jen engage to in punching and kicking each other. Just then, Jackie pulls out a doll of herself (that she made herself) and smacks it on Jen's face.

"ACK!" Jen cried. "I can't take it anymore! Stop!"

"You must resist the doll," Suko warned. "Fight back."

"How can I resist a doll so great?"

"It is only a doll. You must overcome the doll with your mind."

Just then, Jackie gives Jen a big whack in the face which sends he flying to the wall and is knocked out.

"I win," Jackie said.

()()()()()

The next day in Home Economics, Ms. April is teaching the girls new things such as getting them to repeat the phrase that is written in the billboard.

"Okay class," Ms. April said. "Let's try this one altogether. Repeat after me. _Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?"_

"Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?" repeated the class.

"Very good. Try this one. _Maude Flanders's husband just bought her a new car."_

"Flanders's husband just bought her a new car."

"Excellent. Now Janet, why don't you try this one? _I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life."_

"I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life." Janet repeated.

"Nicely done Janet. How about you Jonni? _How do you want your cake to look like?"_

"How do you want your cake to look like?" Jonni repeated.

"Okay."

Just then, the bell rang.

"Alright!" Avery said. "It's time for a fight in Devil's Grave!"

"Yeah!" the girls shouted as they leave the room.

"A fight?" Ms. April said in shock. "Oh no, no, no, girls! Haven't I taught you anything?"

()()()()()

In January's mansion, Johnny came home to drop his bags and before he has the chance to get outside, his dad stops him.

"Where the hell are you going at this hour?" Hugh asked.

"Devil's Grave," Johnny replied.

"To do a stunt?"

"Nope."

"To see the good view of the town?"

"Nope."

"Then what?"

"There's going to be a huge fight between Sissy and Jen at Devil's Grave and the entire school is going to see it. Anyway, later!"

Then Johnny disappears leaving Hugh in shock.

"A fight?"

()()()()()

At Devil's Grave, the kids gathered round to witness Sissy and Jen meeting each other before fighting.

"Programs get your programs here." Pantsy cried as he wears his theatre uniform and holding a box of programs.

"Alright guys," Kendall said. "The time has finally come."

"Remember Sissy," Jonni said. "Punch hard, punch low."

Sissy growled.

"This is where you gotta get mean."

"Grrr, mean, grrr."

"The spirit of the dragon is in your hands," Jackie said to Jen. "Hurshar kashurshar. Hurlong churshar. Alright?"

"Okay," Jen said.

"Now listen to me! Hurlong kashurshar! All right? And seriously: Hurlong kepur shung kwong!"

"Okay, okay."

Sissy is ready first and then Jen gets ready. Jen is the first to flip Sissy off while Sissy just growls at Jen.

"You ready Sissy?" Jonni asked Sissy.

Sissy growled.

"You ready Jen?"

Jen flips her off.

"Alright. Let's get it on."

"You're going to hell Sissy!" Jen yelled.

"Not if I sent you there first!" Sissy yelled back.

Sissy lands some punches and Jen tries to throw Sissy off by using her martial arts. They went back and forth for a while.

"Come on Sissy!" shouted Kendall and Jonni.

"Come on Jen!" Jackie shouted also.

()()()()()

At January's mansion, Hugh is preparing himself to stop the fight at Devil's Grave.

"If there's one person who can stop the fight in Devil's Grave, It going to be me," Hugh said confidently. "Let's rock."

Then Hugh ran out of the mansion and off to Devil's Grave.

()()()()()

At Devil's Grave, Sissy and Jen are still fighting and they tumble down from Devil's Grave, neither of them giving up. The other kids follow them to January's mansion where Sissy and Jen resume trading punches.

"Ye-hah!" Kick shouted while riding on Ol' Blue.

Although the class didn't know that Hugh is chasing after them.

"Come on Jen!" Jackie shouted. "Time to kick Sissy's ass!"

But unfortunately, Sissy and Jen are now tired and are panting.

"Go Sissy!" Jonni cried. "Kick her ass! Get her!"

But Sissy and Jen are still worn out.

"Whoa," Kendall said. "Did you hear that Sissy?"

"What?" Sissy spoke.

"Jen just called you a crybaby."

Sissy growls, regaining her strength and punches Jen.

"She'll just have to keep throwing jabs at Jen to win the fight," Kendall said to Jonni.

"Yeah." Jonni replied.

()()()()()

In the mansion, January is busy doing an experiment with Selena until all of a sudden; her door got crashed by Sissy and Jen who are still fighting followed by the kids.

"Here they are!" Jonni cried.

"What the hell?" January cried as she saw Sissy and Jen fighting.

"What's going on here?" Selena asks Pantsy who is also involved.

"Sissy and Jen are having a fight and we're just watching," Pantsy replied.

"Well why the hell won't you stop them before someone gets hurt?" January yelled.

"Because we have ten bucks riding on it and a date with Kick Buttowski," Jonni replied.

Sissy and Jen kept tumbling around and are still fighting. Also, Hugh came crashing to the lab.

"Stop the fighting this instant!" Hugh yelled.

But Sissy and Jen kept on fighting and fighting that they knock Betty off the floor and had her flying towards the machine that January built. The machine electrifies her until she can take the heat no more and passes out.

"Oh my God!" Kendall cried. "They killed Betty!"

"You bastards!" Jonni cried.

"Well don't just stand there!" January cried. "Call an ambulance!"

"You see kids," Hugh tells the kids. "You see what happens when you screw around to much from Devil's Grave to here?"

"Ugh," Betty groaned. "I understand Mr. Test."

"Well she understands. Does everyone else understand?"

Not a word came from the kids.

"You see kids," Selena said. "Fighting is not a good habit in our everyday lives. We can only fight when the time gets tough."

"Not for bets and entertainment," Hugh added.

"We're sorry," the kids said.

"We understand," January said. "Now for the last time, CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

()()()()()

A few days later, the kids enter the local hospital feeling guilty. Kendall is the first to approach a nurse.

"Hi," Kendall said. "We're here to visit our good friends Sissy and Jen.

"Oh," the nurse said. "Well I suppose a quick visit is okay. Maybe you kids can cheer them up.

So the nurse leads the kids the way. When they are let into the room, they saw Sissy and Jen in adjacent beds, recovering from their injuries.

"Hey you guys," Kendall said. "How are you feeling?"

"Ugh," Sissy and Jen groaned.

"Well, uh. We just came by because we have something to tell you."

"Yeah," Jonni added. "We got you to fight just because we wanted to see who's the toughest. We made up all that stuff we said to get you guys mad at each other."

Jen flips them off angrily.

"Yeah you can flip us off," Jackie said. "We deserve that. We just came by to apologize and we feel so bad."

"So I guess we'll be going now," Jonni said. "And live with the knowledge that you're both kind of sissies."

"What?" Sissy and Jen cried.

"Well, I mean that's what was on the news."

"What's on the news?" Jen asked.

"Oh," Jackie started. "Sissy's family was on the news saying what a sissy you are Jen."

"Huh?"

"Yeah," Jonni replied. "And then Jen's family came on and said Sissy is a crybaby and then punched Sissy's mom in the face.

"ARGH!" Sissy cried at Jen filled with anger and hate. "You son of a bitch!"

Sissy pounces on Jen and the fight starts again with the kids cheering and leaving the room a mess.

"Come on Sissy!" Kendall cried. "You got Jen!"

"Give her the kick in the ass Jen!" Jackie cried. "Hurlong churshar!"

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

In the hospital, Mr. Sin is rather disappointed that none of the students in his Health class came to visit him.

"Goddammit."


	7. Kicking in Time

_**Kicking In Time**_

"This sucks!" Johnny cries as he, Kick, Gunther and Kendall walk to January's mansion and more specifically, the lab. "We have to finish the science project by tomorrow or we'll all get Fs and fail this course!"

"And we don't know what to make yet," Gunther said.

"Why can't Mr. Black put the due date in any day _but _tomorrow like other teachers?" Kick replied. "It's not like he wants us to do the project that we were assigned today and have it finished by tomorrow."

"That teacher is as impatient as Julius Caesar," Kendall said.

"Who's Julius Caesar?" Johnny asked.

"He was a Roman general and statesman and a distinguished writer of Latin prose. He played a critical role in the gradual transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire."

"Isn't he the same Caesar who fell in love with the Egyptian Queen Cleopatra VII?" Kick questioned.

"Yes. Yes he is."

"But enough of this Caesar talk," Johnny said. "We need to work on our science project and if I'm correct, we are suppose to build something for military use."

"_Military use_?" Kendall cried at this.

"Can't he give us _normal _science projects for once?" Gunther cried. "Just _one _normal project is all we need from Mr. Black."

"Oh well," Johnny said in a sympathetic tone. "If Mr. Black wants a project for military use by tomorrow, then we'll give him a project for military use. TO THE LAB!"

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Johnny, Kick, Gunther and Kendall are in January's lab where they could see the door (that leads to the outside world) covered in nails and duct tape after being broken several times on several occasions. Guess the doors in Mellowbrook these days are very expensive.

"Now what?" Kendall asked.

"Simple," Johnny said while pulling out a blueprint from the drawer. "Here's what we're going to for military use by tomorrow's Science Class."

Johnny shows Kick, Gunther and Kendall the blueprints of a huge bazooka.

"We're going to build a bazooka by tomorrow?" Kendall questioned.

"Well Mr. Black did say the project must be for military use," Kick said to Kendall.

"Good point."

"But we have one problem," Gunther said. "How do we find the parts to assemble the bazooka?"

"Easy," Johnny said. "We'll just use my sisters and cousin's recycled parts to assemble the bazooka instead.

"And how many are the parts to build a bazooka?"

"Five."

"Sounds reasonable." Kick said. "Let's get this project over with."

As Kick, Gunther, Johnny and Kendall gathered up five parts to build a bazooka, Susan and Mary walked into the lab with huge grins on their faces.

"Johnny," Susan said gleefully. "We have something for you to test with?"

"Can't," Johnny replied. "Got a science project to do by tomorrow."

"There's plenty of time Johnny," Mary said. "This won't take long."

"What's the experiment this time sisters?"

"We want you to test our new time machine," Susan said happily as she and Mary show the kids a 1950s washing machine.

"It looks like a washing machine to me," Gunther said.

"Well dad said we can't build an actual time machine so we use the 1950s washing machine as a time machine instead."

"Similar to how we made the Turbo Time Teahouse back in Porkbelly," Mary said.

"What happened to it anyway?" Johnny asked.

"It got destroyed, so we made a time machine under the guise of the old washing machine."

"If all of us want to use the time travel, will there be any room for four of us?" Kick asked.

"Well this washing machine is capable of carrying a maximum of seven people," Mary said.

Before Susan and Mary can talk further about the machine, the door got smashed (again) to reveal a dark, silhouette figure in the form of an adult man.

"Who the hell are you?" Kick asked the stranger.

"It's none of your concern Clarence," said the stranger.

"What do you want from us?" Susan yelled also.

"What's your point Susan? I only came here to collect something I desperately need."

And with that, the stranger grabs five parts to build the bazooka and pulls out a remote to open up a dark portal.

"HEY!" Kendall cried out of anger. "He's stealing our project!"

Before the stranger can get through the portal, his leg gets pulled away by Kendall who is hanging onto a pipe near the wall.

"Let go of me girl!" the stranger yelled at Kendall.

"Give us back our project!" Kendall yelled back.

"Or what?"

"Or else I'll call the police you son of a bitch!"

This angers the stranger. He grabs Kendall's wrist and pulls her to the portal with him but not before Kendall activates a tracking device on herself. Kick, Gunther, Johnny, Susan and Mary tried to get Kendall back from the stranger, but the stranger slaps them back and placed a coughing gas on them. When the smoke clears, the stranger and Kendall were gone.

"Where are they?" Kick cried as he ran up to the wall where the portal is and bangs his fists on it. "Where did he take Kendall to?"

"And our parts for the science project?" Johnny cried as he drops to his knees. "NO!"

"Calm down you guys," Susan said. "We know where the stranger, Kendall and your science project went."

"Where?" Gunther asked.

"They're in time," Mary said as she looks at the computer of Kendall's whereabouts.

"They're in time?" Kick questioned.

"Yes."

"How can we find the stranger, Kendall and the science project? They could be in the past, the present or the future."

"You guys are forgetting that there's a time machine in the guise of a 1950s washing machine y'know." Susan said sarcastically.

"Oh right," Gunther. "The washing machine."

"So here's the deal here," Susan said. "You go there and save Kendall and the science project from the dark stranger."

"And if you have time, bring the stranger here to us." Mary said.

"Dead or alive."

"Do we have to bring the stranger here?" Gunther asked.

"We want to question him."

"Good point."

So Kick, Gunther and Johnny went onto the washing machine with Gunther inside the machine as Susan and Mary gives them instructions on how to use the machine.

"Now here's how it works," Susan said. "To travel to any time era, type in the keywords and then press the green button."

"If you want to go home," Mary said also. "Press the red button."

"Although the main controls such as the keywords and the green button are inside the machine, the red button is actually outside of the machine."

"Awesome," Johnny said. "Where do we begin?"

"According to the tracking device that Kendall has on her, you begin you time traveling adventure in the Age of Dinosaurs."

"Dinosaurs and cavemen?" Kick said. "Now this is more exciting than Mr. Black's assignments for military use."

"Now go out there and save the girl you love Kick Buttowski!" Susan said in an excited tone.

"We're just friends Susan," Kick said in a bored tone. "The feeling is mutual."

"Right."

And with that, Gunther (who is inside the machine) types in the keywords _Age of Dinosaurs _and presses the green button.

"Hang on tight you guys," Gunther said to Johnny and Kick who are on top of the machine. "This is going to be one bumpy ride."

As soon as Gunther pressed the green button inside the machine, the machine shakes a little with bits of electrical bolts shooting out of the machine and a few seconds later, the machine went white and then, Kick, Gunther, Johnny and the machine disappears in front of Susan and Mary.

"We're such geniuses," Susan and Mary said.

()()()()()

As for the boys, they found themselves flying in some sort of blue portal which looks more like the inside of a whirlpool.

"Whoa!" Johnny cried. "Didn't see that coming."

"It's so cool," Kick said as he saw a lot of artifacts from time to time.

"It's beautiful," Gunther said also. "Next stop, the Age of Dinosaurs!"

Gunther shifts the machine to drive and all three boys traveled to the speed of light until they reach their destination, the Age of Dinosaurs. As they got there, Johnny and Kick jump out of the machine and Gunther walks out of the inside.

"The Age of Dinosaurs," Gunther said proudly.

"Now where would the parts be?" Johnny said.

"And more importantly," Kick added. "Kendall."

"Well we'll just have to explore in order to find some answers," Gunther said.

"Good point."

"But what about the machine?" Johnny asked. "We can't just leave it there."

"Don't worry," Kick said. "I've got it covered."

So Kick grabs a remote from his pockets and activates a force field around the washing machine.

"Nothing's getting in. Nothing's coming out. Let's find the parts and Kendall before it's too late."

Johnny, Kick and Gunther travel across some parts of the land on foot. They were amazed to see dinosaurs, jungles and volcanoes. It's like a boy's wildest dream.

"Wow," Johnny said. "So this is what the Age of Dinosaurs really look like."

"Now's not the time to go gaga over the scenery," Kick said. "We need to find the parts for our project and Kendall and then get home before school starts tomorrow."

"Uh-oh," Gunther cried as if his mind is in a blank.

"Uh-oh what?"

"Uh-oh that."

Kick, Gunther and Johnny look around and find themselves surrounded by cavemen wearing fur pelts and are holding sharp and dangerous spears.

"I did not see that coming dude," Johnny said.

"What do we do?" Gunther cried.

"We run."

"We fight." Kick said.

"I like Johnny's suggestion better," Gunther said softly.

So Kick, Johnny and Gunther made a run for it, but one of the cavemen grabs a rope with rocks tied to each ends and throws it directly at Johnny and Gunther which ties them up, leaving Kick free.

"RUN!" Gunther cried. "Just get the parts and Kendall. Don't worry about us."

But Kick didn't run. Instead, he grabs a Swiss Army knife from his pockets and frees Johnny and Gunther. Then they run from the cavemen to the nearby jungle where they lost the cavemen.

"Phew," Gunther said while breaking a sweat. "We're all safe now."

But their troubles weren't over. Kick, Johnny and Gunther were hit by a club and are knoked out unconscious by a big caveman with blond hair and red highlights and wore a green pelt. _**(Autthor's note: He's the same caveman that appeared in the Johnny Test episode "Johnny BC")**_

"Ooooh, oooh, ooh," said the flame-headed caveman. "Fresh meat!"

The flame-headed caveman ties up Kick, Gunther and Johnny with vines and drags them back to his village which is located near the volcano. As he got there, he is greeted by his people lead by the stranger who took the science project and Kendall in the guise of the village chief.

"What thou e do wit dem?" asked the flame-headed caveman.

"Tie them to the stake," said the stranger. "Burn them when they've awaken."

So the flame-headed stranger ties Kick, Johnny and Gunther to the stake and placed some grass and straws under their feet. Johnny starts waking up and found him, Kick and Gunther tied to a stake and were about to be burned to death. He immediately saw the stranger grin evilly at him.

"HEY!" Johnny cried. "You're that same person who took our science project!"

"How pathetic," sneered the stranger.

Then Kick also started to wake up and saw the stranger.

"Where's Kendall?" Kick yelled at the stranger.

"What do you want to know Clarence?" the stranger said with an evil look on his face. "It's quite obvious that you don't like her."

"That's not true."

"Really? Then how come you and Kendall fight all the time hmm?"

Kick lost his speech for a moment until all of a sudden, he saw Kendall inside one of the village tents.

"Kendall!" Kick cried at Kendall.

But Kendall didn't reply back as if she was in a complete trance.

"Don't waste your time speaking to her Clarence," the stranger said again. "She's just tired from going time traveling with me. Any last words before you get burned?"

"LET US GO THIS INSTANT!" Gunther cried who is finally awakened.

"Sorry. But I've got a deadline to meet. Ta."

And with that, the stranger left Kick, Gunther and Johnny with the cave people while the stranger went inside the tent where Kendall is who is still in a trance.

"Do not waste your time looking at then dear Kendall," said the stranger. "I will protect you from harm, as soon as your pesky friends here are completely burned alive. If there's one thing they will never succeed besides finding you is finding their missing parts for the project."

Back outside, Kick, Gunther and Johnny are trying to get themselves free from being burned but to no avail since the knots were too strong and tight.

"It's no use guys," Gunther cried. "The knots are too tight."

"Don't worry," Johnny said. "I have an idea."

"How?"

"See that dinosaur just outside the village?"

"Yeah."

"Just watch."

Then Johnny saw the flame-headed caveman.

"HEY FLAME-HEADED ONE!" Johnny cried.

"Ugh?" the flame-headed caveman answered.

"We're not exactly delicious here, but I know something that is more delicious than three of us."

"Me listening."

"See that dinosaur just outside the village?"

"Yea."

"I bet this dinosaur is way tastier than us three helpless boys. If you could set us free from being burned to death, we'll get the dinosaur for you and your people."

"Really? Okay."

So the flame-headed caveman unties Kick, Gunther and Johnny and told his people about the dinosaur being tastier than the three boys.

"Ooh, ooh," the flame-headed caveman said to Kick, Gunther and Johnny. "You get dinosaur and we give you shiny object in return."

_Shiny object?_ Johnny thought. _Must be one of the five missing parts for the project._

"Deal." Kick said finally.

So Kick, Johnny and Gunther grab what are necessary to kill a dinosaur and walk out from the village to where the dinosaur is. The dinosaur looks at them and roars at them, but Kick, Johnny and Gunther are undeterred.

"Hey big, ugly one!" Johnny cried at the dinosaur. "Come with us and nobody gets hurt!"

The dinosaur roars.

"Suit yourself."

So Johnny pulls out a string with rocks tied to ends and throws it at the dinosaur's legs, causing him to tumble down as Kick pulls out a poisonous dart and fires it at the dinosaur's neck, causing him to die a slow and painful death. Shortly afterwards, a group of cavemen led by the flame-headed one hoisted the dead dinosaur up and haul him back to the village. The flame-headed caveman congratulates Kick, Johnny and Gunther by giving them the shiny object - one out of five parts needed to build a bazooka.

"You get shiny object," said the flame-headed caveman. "Oooh, me name Jojo."

"Thanks Jojo," Kick replied. "Have you seen the golden-haired girl wearing a green and pink pelt lately? Her name Kendall."

"Me don't know where Kendall gone to. Strange man took her to weird cave."

"Weird cave? Sounds like a portal."

"Oooh."

"Looks like the stranger took Kendall to another timeline," Gunther said. "But we don't know where he took her to next?"

"I know," Johnny replied while holding up a tracking device. "He took her to Ancient Rome."

"Then that's where we go to next." Kick replied.

"TO THE TIME MACHINE!"

Several minutes later, Kick, Johnny and Gunther waved good-bye to the cave people as they get onto the washing machine whereas Gunther gets inside with the controls. He types in the keyword _Ancient Rome _and pressed the green button.

"Ancient Rome here we go!" Gunther cried. "Hang on tight."

Just then, the machine shakes a little with bits of electrical bolts shooting out of the machine and a few seconds later, the machine went white and then, Kick, Gunther, Johnny and the machine disappears in front of the cave people.

"Me miss flame-headed boy," Jojo said sadly.

()()()()()

After another time traveling trip, Johnny and Kick jump out of the machine and Gunther walks out of the inside. Kick places a force field around the machine as he joins in with Gunther and Johnny. They are now in Ancient Rome.

"Here we are guys," Gunther said. "Ancient Rome."

"That's where we'll find the second part for our project," Johnny said before he saw a frown on Kick's face. "And Kendall too."

"C'mon," Kick said. "The sooner we find the parts and Kendall, the faster we can get the science project done by tomorrow."

"I hope you're right."

"Uh-oh," Gunther cried. "It's looks like we're at the coliseum and the prizes for the next chariot race, which starts in a few minutes, is our second missing part for the project and Kendall."

"Kendall's the prize?" Kick cried. "Then there's only one thing left for me to do."

"And what's that?"

"I'm entering the next chariot race."

"I don't know about this Kick."

"I'm Kick Buttowski. I don't hold back from a challenge, even if the challenge is impossible."

Several minutes later, Kick is ready for the chariot race in order to win the second missing part of the project and Kendall. He notices that the host (and ruler) of the coliseum is no other than the stranger.

"How pity," the stranger said as he saw Kick getting onto the chariot. "Clarence thinks that he's going to win the race to get the project and Kendall huh? Well not on my watch."

Then the stranger faces the audience.

"My fellow people," the stranger announced. "For this race, the players will play fair and will not cheat for pleasure. The winner will receive this rare treasure and a hand-in-marriage to the fair maiden Kendall!"

The crowd cheer as the gates open to reveal the players, three Romans, two slaves and Kick Buttowski.

"May the best man win," the stranger said with a sly smile. "On your marks! Get set! GO!"

The players and Kick took off while the crowd cheer from the stands. Gunther and Johnny are also cheering from the stands as well. Just then, Gunther saw a smirk on Johnny's face and that he is wearing a black spy suit.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Gunther asked. "And where did you get that spy suit?"

"Uh found it," Johnny replied. "Anyway, I'm going to steal the second part for the project undetected."

"I don't know about this Johnny."

"Hey. I've been sneaking into my sisters' lab undetected a lot of time. Of course I can do this!"

"Okay but I didn't say I warned you."

So while the crowd, the stranger and Gunther are distracted, Johnny sneaks inside the stranger's chambers and saw the missing part located just beside the stranger's throne.

"Piece of cake," Johnny whispered quietly. "Shouldn't be too hard now."

But before Johnny can make his getaway with the second part, his hand is grabbed by the stranger who looks at him evilly.

"So you decided to cheat behind the emperor's back eh Jonathon?" the stranger sneered evilly. "I can handle that situation no problem."

"What are you going to do about it?" Johnny said in an angry tone.

"Look at the race and pay close attention to your friend Clarence."

"I'm looking."

"See the red and black thing under his chariot?"

"Yeah."

"As he races to the finish, the gravels on the pavement will keep on hitting the thing and then BOOM! Clarence will be dead before he can finish the race."

"Uh-oh."

"And there's nothing you can do about it."

"Guess again your highness."

"What?"

"You forgot to load the batteries in, which means that Kick won't be killed."

The stranger is furious as Johnny frees himself and makes off with the second part of the project just in time to see Kick win the race.

"Okay emperor," Kick said to the stranger. "I won fair and square. Now hand over the fair maiden!"

"Do you really think that I would just give you the girl?" the stranger said in a sly tone.

"I won fair and square, now hand her over!"

"Sorry, but I'vr got another deadline to meet. Ta."

And with that, the stranger grabs Kendall and enters another portal. Kick tries to go after them, but he is too late to get them as the portal closes.

"They're in the Wild West," Johnny said while reading the tracking device. "TO THE TIME MACHINE!"

So Kick, Gunther and Johnny went back to the time machine and went to the Wild West. Unfortunately for them, they are unable to find the third part of the project, but they do found Kendall tied to a railway track and is about to get run over by a train.

"HELP!" Kendall cried. "HELP!"

"It's Kendall!" Kick cried. "I've got to save her!"

"I have a bad feeling about this Kick," Gunther replied.

Kick ran up to Kendall and unties her, but this was a trap. "Kendall" is actually a robot who then grabs Kick's neck and chokes him while the stranger and the _real _Kendall watch from behind the building.

"Stupid daredevil," the stranger said evilly.

The stranger opens another portal and he and Kendall step inside with the robot following them after choking Kick to death. Gunther is horrified at this and went up to Kick's side while Johnny reads the tracking device.

"Their next stop is the year 3000," Johnny said.

"I hope they have medical services there," Gunther replied. "Kick isn't breathing well."

So Gunther and Johnny took Kick back to the time machine and set off to the year 3000. It was futuristic.

"Cool," Johnny said while his eyes grew big. "Johnny loves the future."

"Well that has to wait Johnny," Gunther said. "Right now, Kick needs to get to the doctors and fast!"

So Gunther and Johnny took Kick to the nearest hospital where they are greeted by a robot.

"Welcome visitors," the robot said. "State your reason why you are here?"

"Our friend's out cold and needs help before he dies," Gunther cried.

"Proceed."

So the robot leads Gunther and Johnny to the emergency room while the robot carries Kick to somewhere else. Gunther tries to follow the robot, but the robot told him to wait in the waiting room. Several minutes later, the robot returns to the waiting room with Kick following him.

"He is feeling better," the robot said to Gunther and Johnny. "Let me give you one advice in the future next time."

"And what's that?" Gunther asked.

"Be sure that each of you is able to protect yourselves from dangerous foes."

"We understand," Kick said.

"But there is something that you three need to know. According to my calculations, you are time traveling in search of the three remaining pieces for the science project and a girl named Kendall. Am I right?"

"Yes."

"It has been clear that the third piece of your science project and Kendall are somewhere in this city. The third piece is at the local museum and Kendall, well I must say that she's in an abandon building, but I don't know which one."

"Then we need to go to the museum first," Gunther said. "And then we find Kendall.

()()()()()

"I'm not sure about this Kick," Gunther whispered as he, Kick and Johnny sneak inside the museum through the air vent.

"Relax Gunther," Kick whispered back. "It's going to be piece of cake."

"Yeah," Johnny whispered also. "We'll just swipe the real one and place a clay version of it in its place. A good ol' switcheroo."

"Okay but I didn't say I warned you." Gunther replied as he lowers Kick down with a fishing pole to where the third part of their project is.

Kick grabs the real part and replaces it with a clay version of it. So far so good.

"Okay Gunther," Kick whispered. "Bring me up."

So Gunther brings Kick back inside the air vent and all three boys are glad that they've found their third piece of the project.

"And now we get Kendall," Kick said.

()()()()()

In the abandon building, the stranger had Kendall tied to the chair by the window. Kendall is as usual still in a trance until her eyes caught sight of Kick, Gunther and Johnny walking in the streets.

"Kick?" Kendall muttered in a low voice.

The stranger took notice of this and is angry that Kendall is seeing Kick. He is furious that his plan will fail and that Kick will save the day.

"I'll handle the situation," the stranger said in an angry tone. "Kendall dear, we'll be leaving the year 3000 as of now, so say goodbye to your friends while you still can."

By the time, Kick, Gunther and Johnny got to where Kendall is (thanks to the tracking device), it was already too late. Kendall and the stranger went through another portal and vanished.

"Now they're in the Middle Ages," Johnny said. "TO THE TIME MACHINE!"

()()()()()

One time traveling trip later, Kick, Gunther and Johnny arrived in the Middle Ages aka. Medieval Times. They are somehow inside the castle and what's good news is that they saw the fourth piece of the project in the stables but it is guarded by two beefy guards who are playing cards.

"Do you have a ten?" one guard asked.

"Goldfish," the second guard replied.

"I'll get this one," Johnny said.

So Johnny sneaks past the two guards and took the fourth part and makes his getaway. Now all that's left for the boys is to find Kendall and get home.

"HELP!" cried a voice.

"That's Kendall," Kick said.

"HELP!"

"It's coming from there," Gunther said as he points his finger at the tallest tower.

They could see Kendall dressed in a pink gown and is grabbed by an ogre. Kick wasted no time as he dashed up the walls to fight the ogre who lets go of Kendall who soon began to fall to the ground. Kick was about to grab Kendall to safety, but the stranger got her instead and opens up another portal.

"Aw biscuits," Kick moaned.

"Their last destination is Egypt," Johnny said while reading the device. "TO THE TIME MACHINE!"

()()()()()

One time traveling trip later, Kick, Gunther and Johnny arrived in Ancient Egypt 5000 years ago.

"Ancient Egypt," Gunther said. "So majestic."

"And why does the sphinx look like Kick?" Johnny asked while looking at the sphinx who somehow has Kick's head.

_Kickankhamun, _Kick though.

Just then, Kick, Gunther and Johnny saw a group of trumpeters blowing their trumpets and behind them were the royal Egyptian society dressed in their finest clothes.

"Must be a parade going on here," Gunther said.

Johnny, Kick and Gunther keep on watching as the trumpeters and the society walk from one building masterpiece to another until they stop in front of the boys.

"Why us?" Johnny asked Gunther.

Just then, the trumpeters and the society divide into two groups as the advisor named Giovanni _**(author's note: He's the same Giovanni who makes his only appearance in my famous story "Curse of the Mummy") **_walks up to Kick.

"Welcome back from your long journey O great pharaoh," Giovanni said while bowing down to Kick. "It's been rather bored and gloomy without your awesomeness."

"Uh thanks," Kick said looking quite confused. _Is he mistaking me for Kickankhamun because of the helmet or my appearance?_

"Come your highness," Giovanni said again. "We must go back to the palace and prepare a magnificent feast."

"I did not see that coming," Johnny said.

While the boys follow Giovanni to the palace, they are being watched by the stranger dressed in the gravekeeper's robes. He this time had Kendall mummified and is locked in a sarcophagus.

"This time your friend won't find you here," the stranger said. "As long as the _real _Kickankhamun is still in his little quest, Giovanni can take the throne once after he gets rid of Clarence once and for all. And my little plan will be complete."

()()()()()

In the palace, Kick, Gunther and Johnny are given the best treatments that any kid had wished for. Maybe their little dilemma can wait for a bit.

"Ah, this is the life," Johnny said like a pampered cat.

"The dilemma can wait," Gunther said also.

But despite the best treatments, Kick is not convinced. He still needs to find the last piece of their project and Kendall.

"Um I'm going to get some fresh air," Kick said to his friends. "I won't be long."

"Suit yourself," Johnny said not looking at him.

Kick left the room in search of Kendall leaving Johnny and Gunther behind. What neither Gunther nor Johnny knew is that a smoke bomb landed in front of them and went off in their faces. Gunther and Johnny coughed and coughed until they passed out. As the smoke clears, a person walks inside the room and took Gunther and Johnny away. It was the stranger.

"If I can't keep you away from Kendall," the stranger said. "Then I'll just have to keep all four of you hostage instead,"

As for Kick, he took some time to explore the other parts of the palace while thinking about the dilemma. There must be a reason why the stranger would want their science project and Kendall in the first place? Before he returns to the room, he is stopped by Giovanni.

"I see you took some time to explore the palace your highness," Giovanni said. "Is something wrong?"

"Not really Giovanni, but it's about this girl I'm worried about," Kick replied.

"I see. You must be so sadden by the death of you fiancée-to-be a few weeks ago and your mother four years ago. Don't worry your highness. I'm sure that she's taken cared of by the ancient Gods."

"It's not that I'm worried about. It's..it's"

"I know you're having troubles with your words your highness, but I can help you with that."

Giovanni grabs Kick's arm so tight that Kick is unable to let go.

"What the biscuits?" Kick cried.

"Look into my eyes," Giovanni said in a demanded voice as his eyes glowed red.

Kick tries to pull away from Giovanni but Giovanni's eyes are too powerful. Kick slowly grew weak and collapsed to the floor, but not before saying his last words.

"Even in the past, Giovanni is pure evil."

Then Kick blacked out. Before Giovanni can make his getaway, someone came towards him. It was one of Kickankhamun's best guards – Black Rose (who looks like Jonni West.)

"Your highness!" Black Rose cried before turning to Giovanni. "What happened to him?"

"He has joined both his mother and his fiancée," Giovanni said. "The gods have taken his dear life."

"Then let us prepare the burial ceremony in hopes that his spirits will forever be alive."

"No young lady, it'll take us like 70 days to do so. We must mummify him now!"

"Fine but I didn't say I warned you."

()()()()()

"Yo Gunther!" cried a voice. "Are you okay?

Gunther woke up and saw he and Johnny locked in a cage beside the sarcophagus where Kendall is. It seems that they are locked in a pyramid.

_I've said it before and I'll say it again. _Gunther thought before speaking. "Even in the past, Giovanni is pure evil."

"Well, well, well, it looks like your up finally," the stranger said as he walks closer to the cage.

"What are you up to this time?" Johnny asked. "And more importantly, where's Kendall?"

"Oh she's safe in the sarcophagus for now. And now since I have all three of you here, my plans will be complete."

"What's the plan?"

"I am to use the very last and more important part of your project to create a virus in all time and it'll make me the new keeper of time. As for Kendall, I'm planning to make her my bride."

"You're never going to get away with this!" Johnny cried.

"Oh but I am Jonathon. Ta."

And with that, the stranger left the room.

"Can this day get any worse?" Johnny cried.

()()()()()

Back in the present time at January's mansion, Susan and Mary are doing their usual experiment until their dad walks in.

"Girls," Hugh spoke. "Have you seen your brother and his friends?"

"No," Susan and Mary replied. "Why?"

"Well it's almost dinnertime and I want Johnny, Gunther, Kick and Kendall back by dinnertime or you're grounded for life. You have 10 minutes to do so."

The High left leaving Susan and Mary to exchange looks.

()()()()()

In the chamber, Giovanni and his servants had Kick mummified alive, but Black Rose can tell that something weird is going on.

"Why must you do it now Giovanni?" Black Rose asked.

"Because the gods will be displeased if we took 70 days to give the pharaoh the proper burial." Giovanni replied.

_Something tells me that this isn't the pharaoh, _Black Rose thought. _He looks like a 13-year old to me. And more importantly, what is Giovanni up to?_

()()()()()

Back in the pyramid, Johnny and Gunther saw the sarcophagus lid moving to reveal that Kendall had gotten out of a trance and frees herself from her mummy prison.

"Where am I and how did I get here?" Kendall spoke for the first time.

The she looked at Johnny and Gunther who are locked in a cage.

"And why are you two locked in a cage?" Kendall asked the boys.

"It's a long story Kendall," Gunther replied. "Anyway, Kick, Johnny and I were trying to rescue you from the stranger and trying to get all the parts of our project."

"Yeah," Johnny said. "So far we found four parts and finally we found you."

"Yeah but I have just one question," Kendall asked.

"What's that?"

"Where's Kick?"

Gunther and Johnny exchange looks. Kick hasn't returned since he left to get some fresh air because of the dilemma.

"Um," Johnny spoke while trying to find his words. "When we…uh…first came here to find you, there was a…uh…parade going on and…um…some dude named Giovanni mistook him for Kickankhamun. I think it's because of the helmet or his appearance."

"Really?" Kendall questions Johnny. "Even in the past, Giovanni is pure evil."

"How did you know that?"

"Cause Kick told me about him during our second trip to Egypt last year."

"She's right Johnny," Gunther said. "We all know that Giovanni is evil."

"You know Giovanni too?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah. It was last year during our first trip to Egypt. Kick's dad told Kick about Kickankhamun and his death that occurred 5000 years ago when he is only 12. His head got hit by a rock and died from blood loss. It turns out that it was Giovanni who killed him and then he became immortal. We encounter him during the field trip and he teamed up with another greedy guy named Howard who wants to marry Audrey. Then Giovanni kidnapped Kick, mummified him alive and have him suffocated in a sarcophagus, but I saved him in a nick of time. Then we got into a final showdown where Kick made Giovanni mortal again and it was the last time we encountered him."

"Now that's one heck of a history lesson."

"Okay can we find Kick now?" Kendall cried. "I have a bad feeling that Giovanni had gotten him by now."

"As soon as we get out of this cage goddammit!"

Just then, the doors went open. The kids thought that the stranger had retuned but instead of the stranger, it was Black Rose.

"Jonni?" Johnny said recognizing her almost immediately. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm time traveling to keep time safe," Black Rose said. "Anyway, Giovanni had Kick killed and mummified."

"Kick's dead?" Gunther cried almost at the urge to cry.

"I'm afraid so."

"Can you get us out of this cage before the stranger returns?" Johnny asked.

"You mean Mr. Envy?"

"Who's Mr. Envy?"

"Mr. Sin's brother. He's the stranger you guys are trying to defeat."

"So all this time, we were chasing Mr. Sin's brother?"

"Yep."

"Wait until Mr. Sin hears about this. But first, get us out of here!"

()()()()()

Nightfall came as Gunther, Johnny, Kendall and Black Rose sneak inside the tomb where Kick is to be buried in. They could see that the ceremony is going underway as a sarcophagus (where Kick is) is being hauled behind Giovanni who has an evil smirk on his face. Beside Giovanni is Mr. Envy also known as the stranger who has the fifth piece.

"How do we get in without getting caught?" Guther asked.

"Leave that to me," Black Rose said.

Several minutes later, Johnny, Gunther, Kendall and Black Rose are disguised as palace guards. They got inside the tomb no problem.

"Well that was easy," Johnny said.

"Keep your voice down," Kendall warned. "The ceremony is about to start."

They could see Mr. Envy picking up Kick (bridal style) and placing him on a table before being put back in the sarcophagus.

"O great pharaoh. Accept the gifts that we will give to you for your journey to the afterlife," Giovanni said. "May you be protected by the gods in the afterlife."

But all of a sudden, Kick opens his eyes and tries to speak, but couldn't since he is gagged.

"He's alive," Gunther cried but is forced to be quiet by Black Rose.

_This can't be happening, _Giovanni thought as he quickly places Kick back in the sarcophagus. "I proclaim this ceremony complete."

"Not on my watch!" said a voice.

"Look!" cried one of the people. "It's the pharaoh!"

Everyone couldn't believe that the _real _Kickankhamun has returned from his long quest.

"Release my look-alike this instance!" Kickankhamun said to Giovanni.

But Giovanni didn't move. Before he can do so, Kendall and Black Rose got out of their hiding places and knock both Giovanni and Mr. Envy out cold. Then Black Rose frees Kick while Kendall gets a hold of the final part.

"Now we can get back home!" Johnny cried. "TO THE TIME MACHINE!"

But Giovanni woke up with a start and he is very angry that his plan is ruined.

"Get them!" Giovanni cried to his minions.

The minions chase the five kids out of the tomb and into the place where the time machine is. Everyone got onto the machine in a nick of time, but Mr. Envy is closing in on them.

"HIT THE RED BUTTON!" Johnny cried.

Kick pressed the red button and as the machine was about to flash before the Egyptians' eyes, Mr. Envy grabs Kendall's ankle and then, the machine disappears.

()()()()()

Back in the lab, Susan and Mary are freaking out. How will Johnny and his friends get back to the present in ten minutes?

"This is so wrong!" Susan panicked.

"I wish they're home now," Mary said.

And like a wish came true, the time machine appeared before Susan and Mary's eyes. They could see Kick, Johnny, Kendall and Mr. Envy on the machine while Gunther and Black Rose are inside.

"Well that was convenience," Susan said.

"So did you have fun time traveling?" Mary asked.

"We had a blast," Johnny said.

"And I suppose that this man is the one behind all this." Susan said.

"Yes." The kids said.

"Well since we have him here, let's lock him in a cage and let the police know about this."

"Good idea." Kendall said.

"Oh girls!" Hugh cried again. "Are Johnny and his friends back home yet?"

"Of course." Susan and Mary replied. "We're just washing up."

"Good."

Then Hugh comes inside the lab and saw Johnny, Gunther, Kick, Kendall, Susan, Mary, and Black Rose.

"Well I see that all of you are back home safe and sound," Hugh said, not noticing Mr. Envy locked in a cage. "Anyway, who wants to stay for dinner?"

"Who's cooking?" Gunther asked.

"Selena is making her famous Japanese recipes for all of us to eat."

"I'm in!"

Everyone else nodded in agreement as well as they leave the lab.

"Remember guys," Kick said. "Whatever happens through time stays through time."

"I couldn't agree more Kick," Kendall said before giving Kick a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for saving me."

"Anytime Kendall. Anytime."

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

The next day at school in Science Class…

"And here we have this cool bazooka for our science project," Johnny presented to the class. "We have to go through time to find all the five parts needed by tomorrow and it was one heck of an adventure!"

The class were amazed at this and give Johnny, Kick, Gunther and Kendall a huge applause.

"That was very exciting," Mr. Black said. "All four of you get an A."

"AWESOME!" the group yelled.


	8. Love Stinks 2: The Return of Kelly

_**Love Stinks 2: The Return of Kelly**_

It was a fine Saturday morning as Brad Buttowski is humming as he walks to the flower shop to buy Selena some flowers. As he enters the flower shop, there are millions of pretty and exotic flowers that will sure win a girl's heart. Now that Selena is Asian, Brad will need to give her a flower that will match her nationality rather than giving her a mere red rose.

"Now if I was an Asian boy giving an Asian girl flowers," Brad said while thinking. "Which flower shall I pick?"

Brad searched and searched for the right flower but to no avail. Just then, he decided that he should give Selena a bouquet of Japanese apricots

"This'll do quite nicely," Brad said as he pays for the apricots. "Yeah Brad."

Brad walks out of the flower shop and was about to go to January's mansion (where Selena currently lives) until he accidentally bumps into a teenage girl. She has long curly black hair and fairly teal eyes. Brad is able to recognize her easily.

"Kelly?" Brad said looking shocked.

"Brad?" Kelly said also looking shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting flowers for my girlfriend."

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Even though you're an unhip loser."

"Ahem to that missy! I just so happened to get one and she's not using me for some nefarious schemes like you did to me last year."

"That's because I have no choice in order to become a cheerleader. Ever since this whole dilemma thing last year, I've come to realized that I'm deeply in love with you."

"Is this another one of your wicked schemes? Cause I'm not falling for them this time. Yeah Brad!"

And with that, Brad walks away from Kelly, leaving her alone in the streets. Brad hummed as he gets to January's mansion and Selena answers the door.

"An elegant bouquet for an elegant Asian," Brad said sweetly as he gives Selena the apricots.

"Why that's very sweet of you Brad," Selena said as she gives him a kiss on the cheeks. "What's the occasion?"

"Well consider this is our first anniversary, I thought that we would go out on a date to the movies."

"The movies? What are we seeing?"

"The coolest movie ever in America. It's called _Real Steel._"

"_Real Steel_? I haven't seen that movie since ever. When is it on?"

"In about 2 hours."

"Then we have to hurry. I'll wait for you in the theatres. Love you."

Then Brad left the mansion to get ready.

()()()()()

At Devil's Grave, Kick and Avery are at the top and are about to do the greatest stunt ever.

"You ready to do this?" Kick asked Avery.

"I was born ready cousin," Avery smirked back.

"Let's do this."

So Kick and Avery grab their skateboards and went down to the bottom of Devil's Grave. Kick is the first to do so, but unfortunately, he's unable to stop his board and he ended up hitting a brick wall (that wasn't here in the first place,) knocking him out in the process.

"Kick?" Avery spoke. "Are you alright?"

But by the time Avery reaches the bottom, a shadowy hand grabs Kick by the arm and drags him away to a nearby bush. Avery went to the bush but Kick is nowhere to be found.

"Kick?"

()()()()()

"*_Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Selena_*," Brad hummed as he gets himself prepared for the anniversary. "*_Today's just you and me. Oh my darling Selena.*_ Yeah Brad."

But as soon as Brad went out from the house, a green-eyed girl stopped at his tracks. She is tall with long blonde hair tied in a ponytail and she wore a red summer dress and a red hair band.

"Hello handsome," the girl said sweetly to Brad. "My name's Fiona. What's yours?"

"The name's Brad," Brad said while drooling over Fiona. "Brad Buttowski."

"Wanna go out with me handsome?"

"I can't."

"And why not?"

"I already have a date with an Asian girl."

"Oh forgive me, but I don't think that this Asian girl would mind if you stood her up."

"Stood her up?"

"When are you exactly meeting her?"

"An hour from now."

"Well what do you say handsome? Shall we go out on a little date?"

"Fiona babe. One little date with you instead of Asian girl wouldn't hurt a bit. Yeah Brad!"

Just then, Fiona's cell phone rang.

"Oh excuse me Brad," Fiona said as she picks up her phone. "But I've got a really important call. Mind if I have a little privacy?"

"Not at all Fiona love." Brad replied.

So Fiona walks away from Brad and to an opened garage where she can at least have some privacy. Then Fiona answers the call.

"Hello?"

"How's the plan Fiona?" said a familiar female voice.

"All according to plan. And what about the dilweed?"

"Kick Buttowski? He's taken cared of. He won't be able to interfere with our little 'revenge'. Mwa, ha, ha, ha! See ya soon."

Then Fiona hangs up and meets up with Brad again.

"Where shall we go to my dearest?" Brad asked in a sweet tone.

"Cafe Latté," Fiona replied. "There's a little drink I want to order."

"Anything for my love. Yeah Brad."

()()()()()

2 hours later at the theatre, Selena's patience is short. Where the hell is Brad?

"Where is he?" Selena said looking short tempered. "What's taking him so long?"

"I think I know where Brad is," Mouth said as he walks up to Selena.

"You do?"

"Yeah. He's at Cafe Latté with a blonde girl as of now."

Now that made Selena loses her temper. Brad had cheated on her, so she storms away from the theatre and to Cafe Latté where Brad and Fiona are. When she saw Brad and Fiona together in one table, Selena went from angry to furious, like an Asian dragon.

"BRADLEY BUTTOWSKI!" Selena yelled at Brad. "Who the hell is that girl?"

Brad turns his attention away from Fiona and saw a furious Selena.

"Oh hi Selena," Brad replied nervously. "Uh..nice weather today isn't it?"

"Don't play dumb with me Bradley. Mouth told me that you were cheating on me by dating this, this girl that I clearly don't know about."

"Mouth told you that?"

"Yes. And as for now, spend some time with her but don't come to me if she dumps you."

"Why?"

"Read my Asian lips Buttowski. We're _through_!"

"Through?"

"And I mean it this time. Goodbye."

And then Selena left without saying another word. As Selene walks home, Kelly shows up in front of her.

"Having problems with the Brad?" Kelly asked Selena who looks angry.

"Tell me about it Kelly," Selena replied. "He cheated on me with this blonde girl that I don't know about."

"Trust me girl. Brad is a two-timer and an unhip loser. Try dating Gordon Gibble for a while. Unlike Brad, Gordon is handsome and very popular. Plus he's also quite the rich guy."

"But I don't know if I want to do this Kelly. A friend of mine warned me that Gordon is not a very nice American person to meet."

"Don't worry about it Selena. If you go out on a date with him, I'm sure Gordon's not as bad as people think he is. You'll love him."

"Well I guess it wouldn't hurt."

But Selena had another thought in her mind, _But what if Brad is being used as a tool and I didn't have time to know about it? Could it be perhaps that some girls are envious that I got Brad as a boyfriend and not them? What if ... they're trying to ruin our ... relationship?_

But what the teenage girls didn't notice is that they're being watched, by a 12 year old girl under the bushes.

_Selena broke up with Brad and is going out with Gordie? _The girl thought. _This is SO wrong.._

()()()()()

Meanwhile at the Gibble Estate, Gordon is busy sun tanning in the courtyard when all of a sudden, his phone rang.

"Handsome Gordon Gibble here," Gordon answered in a sweet and sexy tone.

"How would you like to out on a blind date with an Asian beauty you lucky guy?" asked a familiar female voice.

"A blind date? With an Asian beauty? How much do I owe you?"

"It's on the house. You'll be meeting with her at the mall in exactly one hour."

"Hmmm. I'll accept the date. Have the Asian beauty dolled up and I'll be there."

"Excellent."

Then the phone went off. Gordon claps his hands and the DiPazzi twins, Michael (crossed - eyed) and Anthony (normal one) came as fast as the wind.

"Gentlemen, I have a date with destiny," Gordon said. "Let's prepare my clothes and see which clothes will impress the Asian beauty."

"Will do boss," said Anthony.

"Okay boss," said Michael.

()()()()()

Meanwhile at the mall, Kelly had Selena do some shopping in order to date Gordon.

"Since Gordon is going in his finest clothes," Kelly said while handing Selena a dress. "We need to get you dolled up and be pretty like a princess."

"Why do I need to wear a dress?" Selena asked Kelly as she threw the dress away. "It's obvious that he'll accept the clothes I regularly wear."

"Oh nonsense. Gordon's a rich guy and you need to wear something nice to impress him. And I have just the right clothes to get you dolled up."

Kelly grabs an emerald summer dress and hands it to Selena who makes a weird look.

"A summer dress?" Selena questioned. "Really?"

"Girls get dolled up in summer dresses nowadays," Kelly replied. "So I guess this has the work to get Gordon to notice you."

"Well okay then."

"Good."

()()()()()

Back at Café Latté, Brad and Fiona are having a perfect time until all of a sudden; Fiona's cell phone went off.

"Can I have some privacy for a sec darling?" Fiona asked Brad.

"Of course Fiona babe," Brad replied. "Your wish is the Brad's command."

Fiona quickly walks out of the table and into the restroom to continue with her call.

"What is it?" Fiona answers the phone.

"The little breakup between Brad and Selena is complete," said a familiar female voice. "You know what to do next."

"I read you loud and clear m'am," Fiona replied as she hangs up and return to Brad.

"Want to go out somewhere else Fiona?" Brad asked.

"Oh I'm sorry darling," Fiona lied to Brad. "But I have to do something very important right now and I need to go somewhere."

"Somewhere? Like an out-of-country trip?"

"Yes and I'm afraid that we cannot do a long distance relationship. I'm sorry but we have to break up, but I promise that we'll never forget each other and our date."

"I understand Fiona. It's fun being with you."

Then Fiona left Brad behind. What she didn't notice is that she's being watched by the same girl who is spying on Selena and Kelly. This time, the girl is no other than Avery.

_I knew it! She's using him. _She thought. _Maybe that's why she wanted a little privacy whenever her phone rings. I don't know what she's up to, but I've got to put an end to this and get Brad and Selena back together and find Kick soon. Hand in there Kick. I'm coming._

()()()()()

Back at the mall, Kelly had Selena wore an emerald summer dress and sitting on the bench, waiting for Gordon to show up.

"He'll be here any minute soon," Kelly said. "While you're busy with Gordon, I'll be leaving you for now."

"Why?" Selena asked.

"I have something important to do and it's very private."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Bye-bye."

As Kelly left Selena alone, Gordon approaches Selena. He wore his best clothes which is pretty much the same as his regular outfit. When he sees Selena in the emerald summer dress, he went gaga over her.

"Hello," Gordon said while trying to impress Selena. "You're looking real beauty babe."

"Uh thanks," Selena said nervously while blushing mad.

"Let's prepare our date shall we? I know just the place to start the date with a beautiful start."

()()()()()

At Mellowbrook Elementary, Avery raced to the gym to speak to one person in her mind – Mr. Sin. He is at his desk, writing down some notes on paper.

"Mr. Sin," Avery spoke. "Can I ask you one question?"

"Do not ask me Numbuh 12," Mr. Sin replied. "I know what you're going to ask. It's about your cousin Kick isn't it?"

"How did you know that I'm Numbuh 12 and the question I _was _going to ask?"

"Instincts. Anyway, why are you here Numbuh 12?"

"I'm here because you know almost everything in Mellowbrook. Also I want you to give me some information on Kick's whereabouts."

"Really? But only because you're such a determined young lady." Mr. Sin said as he looks at his papers. "By the way Numbuh 12. Have you ever saved a fellow operative or was it too late to do so?"

"What…operative?" Avery asked.

"You know my dear. The blonde, chubby Australian boy who got captured by the Delightful Children from Down the Lane."

"We have no time…"

"Give me some information and I'll give you information."

"I said we have no…"

"TELL ME!"

"Fine. He got captured by the Delightful Children from Down the Lane. He is to be burned alive after refusing to give them some information on our operative system. I tried to save him but…but…I-I was too late. The operative was burned alive and is long gone. I should've saved him sooner but it's all thanks to my talkative brother Kyle. I'm so sorry."

"That's a good operative. Now your cousin is alive and well, but he is very unconscious. I'd say that there are two kidnappers and both of them are in their teen years and both are female. Their names are Kelly and Fiona."

"Two teenage girls kidnapped my cousin is that you're trying to say?'

"Yes Numbuh 12."

"Can you tell me where I can find them?"

"Find them? You've already found them?"

"I did?"

"Yes Numbuh 12. The two girls you were spying on when your cousin Brad and his girlfriend Selena broke up _are _the kidnappers?"

"Are they somehow connected to kidnapping of Kick?"

"Yes, here's a little tale I want to tell you. You see Numbuh 12, before Brad met Selena, he used to date one of them, Kelly, but she is just using him to get to cheerleading stunts with the other popular cheerleaders."

"Does it have something to do with Kick?"

"Let me finish. Kick somehow knew that Kelly is using Brad to get to cheerleading stunts and since he can't convince Brad to know about the truth, he had to take matters into his own hands if he wants his brother alive. Then after the incident, Brad broke up with Kelly, now realizing her true colors."

"Well that was epic."

"Yes and I feared that she and Fiona (who is her friend) are plotting revenge on both Brad and Kick. So they split their parts equally, Fiona would keep Brad away from Selena while Kelly works on her half revenge on Kick."

"Do you know where Kick is being held in?"

"I know the location, but I want you to figure it out yourself. After all, you're not Numbuh 12 for nothing."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Avery is about to leave the gym when Mr. Sin stops her for a moment.

"Before you go Numbuh 12," Mr. Sin spoke which made Avery froze. "I have but one clue that will lead you to the location."

"I'm listening." Avery replied coldly.

"Look at Kelly's notebook. It's white with pink and teal hearts on it."

"What's in her notebook?"

"There's a little piece of teal paper that has something written on it. If you read it carefully, then you are able to find your cousin easily. Fortunately for you, Kelly left her notebook just outside the mall."

Avery understood as she rushes out of the gym to the mall where she may find Kelly's notebook.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Gordon and Selena are having a dinner together at a fine restaurant filled with rich and formal wearing people.

"So what's your name cutie?" Gordon asked flirty to Selena.

"Is it really important?" Selena replied with a worried look.

"You're name is just as important as your beauty."

"Well it's Selena. Selena Randalls."

"Selena eh? It's such a pretty name for a pretty girl like you."

"Thanks."

"Anyway, since we're getting along quite well, how would you like to come with me to the talent show at the community opera house? It's at 9 and no one can resist the opportunity to see it."

"Well I don't know about it Gordon."

"C'mon babe. It'll be fun."

"Well okay."

"Excellent and remember, West Mellowbrook REPRESENTS!"

()()()()()

After a little breakup with Fiona earlier, Brad humbly walks in the streets looking for Selena. If he wasn't the idiot that he always was, he would've listened to Selena and realized that he cheated on her for Fiona - the girl he completely didn't know about a lot. Of course he's been used by girls lately. Kelly and Shannon counts, but Selena, that's a different story. Selena truly loves him, no matter what and even though he can screw things up or get angry most of the time, he still loves Selena back and so does Selena.

"Oh man. If I wasn't the idiot I always way, I would've listened to Selena and be with her by now," Brad said sadly. "It's hopeless. She broke up with me and it's my fault. I shouldn't have cheated on her. I've got to get her back."

"It's too late now Brad," said Kelly who approaches from behind. "She's on a date with Gordon as of now."

"So now Gordon's trying to win her heart? He is so dead once I find him!"

"Oh really? From the looks of it, I think she's having a wonderful time with him. Unlike you, Gordon's handsome and popular while you're ugly and unpopular."

"Is that an insult?"

"Not really. Listen, if it makes you feel any better, how about a little date?"

"Fine, but only it makes me feel better about what happened earlier."

()()()()()

At the mall, Avery searches for Kelly's notebook but it is very difficult since the mall is crowed.

_Where oh where is that notebook? _Avery thought until she bumped into Jackie.

"Watch it Mexican!" Jackie yelled at Avery.

"Stop calling me Mexican!" Avery yelled back.

"Whatever. Have you seen Kick lately?"

"No. I'm trying to look for him."

"Well if you do find him, tell him that I love him and I have the wedding planned as of now."

"Oh for the love of Numbuh 1, Kick is not your man and neither will he marry you!"

"He is so and I'll prove it once I find him!"

Then Jackie left, leaving Avery to continue on her search for Kelly's notebook. Fortunately for her, the notebook appeared to be untouched and is lying under the garbage can. It's the one Mr. Sin told her about – white with pink and teal hearts.

_Kelly's notebook. _Avery thought. _At last._

Avery pulls Kelly's notebook from the garbage can and flips through the pages until she finally found the little teal paper. It reads;

_**No Mercy Hospital.**_

"No Mercy Hospital?" Avery questions as she read the teal paper. "I wonder where that place is. I'd better tell Mr. Sin about it."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Brad and Kelly had a dinner together at the restaurant – the same one that Gordon and Selena went to.

"Enjoying our date loser?" Kelly said evilly to Brad.

"This is _not _a date Kelly," Brad corrected gloomily.

Just then, Kelly spots Selena and Gordon at the other table, having a nice conversation.

"Oh Brad," Kelly said in a sweet tone. "Isn't that your _girlfriend _talking to that handsome Gordon Gibble over there?"

"Selena?" Brad said looking shocked. "With Gordon?"

"Yes."

This made Brad so angry that he walks out of his table and storms off to Selena and Gordon's table. He is in rage as Selena and Gordon gives him confused and disgusted looks.

"What do you want loser?" Gordon spoke sourly.

"That's my girlfriend you're messing with rich boy!" Brad said angrily.

"_You're _girlfriend? Haven't you heard loser? She doesn't want you anymore."

Brad turns to Selena who gives him an icy stare.

"Selena?" Brad spoke, his eyes filled with tears. "Is this true?"

"I'm sorry Brad," Selena said while still giving Brad an icy stare. "But you heard me earlier at Café Latté. We're through."

"You heard her loser!" Gordon shouted with glee to Brad. "She doesn't want you anymore."

"But..." Brad spoke but was cut off by Selena.

"Goodbye," Selena said once more.

Brad is lost with his words that he ran out of the restaurant and into the streets crying.

()()()()()

Back at Mellowbrook Elementary, Avery shows Mr. Sin the teal note.

"It says _No Mercy Hospital,_" Avery said as Mr. Sin finished reading the note. "What the heck is that hospital?"

"It was originally called North Mercy Hospital if you ask me Numbuh 12," Mr. Sin replied. "It was once a community hospital back in the 50s but was shut down in the late 70s. Now it is abandoned and the three letters of the _North _part of the sigh were destroyed, having people to think that it's called No Mercy Hospital instead."

"I should be able to find that hospital quite easily."

"What makes you think you can find that hospital in just one go Numbuh 12?"

"Cause that's where I defeat the Delightful Children from Down the Lane weeks ago."

"Good point. Good luck Numbuh 12 … for now."

()()()()()

In the streets, Brad is crying for the loss of Selena. He didn't notice that Annabelle walked past him and feeling pity, sits beside him.

"What do you want?" Brad whined.

"For God's sake Brad, you're seventeen and you're crying like an eight year old," Annabelle said in an annoyed tune. "But being the nice one here, I have no rights to make fun of you. So what's the problem?"

"Well, Selena and I are celebrating our anniversary today and I screwed up big time. I cheated on her."

"Big time?"

"Big time. Anyway, Selena discovered it and broke up with me. Later, I found Gordon trying to score points with her."

"I see. I think I know how to win a girl's heart."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I saw my Uncle Magnus and Aunt Helga getting into a fight like yours a few years ago and in the end, they got back together."

"What did your uncle do to win back your aunt?"

"He sang a song to her at the talent show. Why?"

"Cause the Brad got something to win back Selena's heart from Gordon. Yeah Brad!"

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Avery stood at the doors of No Mercy Hospital. It is 20 stories high and looks abandoned like a temple.

"Hang in there Kick," Avery spoke quietly. "We'll be out of here in no time."

Avery walks inside the hospital, leaving no tracks behind. Before she can go any further, she heard footsteps. Thinking quickly, she hid under a patient bed and stayed there till she can hear footsteps no more. It was quite a shock that the footsteps belong to Fiona who is in her nurse outfit.

_Fiona, _Avery thought coldly as she quietly follows her.

As Avery kept tracks of Fiona, she discovered that Fiona went to the patient's room, more specifically room 404 that is located in the fourth floor.

_What is she doing in room 404? _Avery thought.

Much to Avery's horror, she saw her cousin Kick at last. He's unconscious and is strapped to a bed as Fiona pulls out a fairly large needle.

"Time to put you to sleep dilweed," Fiona said evilly.

Before Fiona can do so, Avery pulls out her ray gun and shoots directly at Fiona who then falls to the floor, losing cosciousness. Afterwards, Avery unstraps Kick and carries him back to her home where she can heal him until he regains consciousness.

"Let's go home Kick," Avery said.

"A-Avery?" Kick muttered for the first time.

"Yes?"

"W-what *pant* h-happened?"

"It's a long story."

()()()()()

It's 9pm and everyone in Mellowbrook had gather round to see the talent show as both Mayor Mellowbrook and (formerly) Mayor Porkbellly walk up on stage, both wearing top hats and silly bowties.

"Good evening my fine citizens of Mellowbrook," said Mayor Mellowbrook. "Do you know what time it is?"

"It's the first annual talent show Mayor Mellowbrook," Mayor Porkbelly replied in a silly tone.

"That's right folks. It's our first annual talent show. We'll be seeing talented acts and awesome stuff, but that's not all. This year we have three contestants - Ms. Chicarelli."

"Harumph!" Ms. Chicarelli grouched.

"Mr. Vickle."

"Hello," said Mr. Vickle.

"And last but not least, Wade from the Food n' Fix."

"Yo danger dudes," Wade said in a laid-back tone.

"Now whoever wins the talent show gets a special prize that no one can resist," Mayor Porkbelly said as he pulled the curtains up. "Our winner will recieve 2 free tickets to the movies and can use it to watch any movie he/she desires."

"Now on with the show!" Mayor Mellowbrook said. "First off is Papercut Peterson who will be singing a very short song."

The crowd applause as Papercut Peterson walks up on stage. He then notices Gunther and his eyes went wide.

"LITTLE !" was all Papercut could say. "I'm finished."

Then Papercut walks off stage, leaving everyone silent.

"Okay that was unexpecting," Mayor Mellowbrook said. "Let's see what the judges have to say for this? Ohh Ms. Chicarelli gives him a 0 Mr. Vickle gives him a 3 while Wade gives him a 5. That's a total of 8 points."

"Well we can do better on that," Mayor Porkbelly said. "Our next contestant is Bling-Bling Boy who will also be singing a song."

"This better be better than Papercut's song."

"I hope so."

The crowd applause as Bling-Bling Boy walks up on stage.

"Here's a song I wanted to sing," Bling-Bling Boy said.

*_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Girls are sweet_

_And so are you*_

"Now what do the judges have to say on that?" Mayor Mellowbrook said. "Ms. Chicarelli gives him a 2, Mr. Vickle gives him a five and Wade gives him another 5. That's a total of 12 points."

"I must say that he's better than Papercut," Mayor Porkbelly said.

"And now our third contestant - Selena Randalls who will also be singing a song."

The crowd applause as Selena walk up on stage.

"The song I wanted to sing is _Vesti la Guibba _and it's dedicated to my 'former' boyfriend." Selena said.

*_Tramuta in lazzi lo spasmo ed il pianto (__**Turn your distress and tears into jest**__,)  
>in una smorfia il singhiozzo e 'l dolor, Ah! (<em>_**your pain and sobbing into a funny face – Ah!**__)_

_Ridi, Pagliaccio, (__**Laugh, clown,)**__  
>sul tuo amore infranto! (<em>_**at your broken love!)**__  
>Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!* (<em>_**Laugh at the grief that poisons your heart!)**_

The crowd appalude alot at Selena's tragic song. It may be short, but it touched their hearts.

"Let's see what the judges have to say on this?" Mayor Mellowbrook said. "Ms. Chicarelli, after a change of heart, gives her a 9, Mr Vickle gives her a 10 and Wade gives her another 9. That's a total of 28 points."

"Our fourth contestant is West Mellowbrook's very own Gordon Gibbles," Mayor Porkbelly said.

The crowd applause as Gordon walks up on stage.

"I'm here to pull off an awesome stunt that nobody can resist." Gordon said proudly as he pulls out a skateboard. "West Mellowbrook REPRESENTS!"

Fireworks went off as Gordon did his stunt which is to jump over a 600-pound man in a pool of sharks and eels. When he is finished, Ms. Chicarelli gives him a 9, Mr. Vickle gives him 10 and Wade gives him another 10 which adds up to a total of 29 points.

"And last but not least is Brad Buttowski and his lackeys Pantsy and Horace," Mayor Mellowbrook said.

At backstage, Brad is in his regular outfits while Pantsy and Horace are ridiculously wearing harem outfits.

"Why are we wearing harem outfits?" Horace asked.

"You two are my back dancers while I sing the song," Brad replied. "And I'm doing it to win back Selena's heart. Yeah Brad."

The curtains rolled up and the three boys went to their positions. Brad walks closer to the edge and pulls out a microphone.

"This song is for a girl who I accidentally cheated on," Brad said as the music starts.

_*Some people say that I'm a bad guy  
>They may be right, they may be right!<br>But its not as if I don't try  
>I just fuck up!<br>Try as I might.  
>But I can change, I can change!<br>I can learn to keep my promises, I swear it!  
>I'll open up my heart and I will share it!<br>Any minute now I will be born again!  
>Yes I can change, I can change!<br>I know I've been a dirty little bastard  
>La la la la la lalala!<br>I like to kill, I like to mate, a seventh saint, but ITS OK  
>CAUSE I CAN CHANGE!<br>Its not my fault that Im so evil  
>Its society, society.<br>You see, the girls were sometimes abusive  
>And it made a prick of me!<br>But I can change, I can change!  
>I can learn to keep my promises I know it!<br>La la la la la lalala!  
>I'll open up my heart and I will show it!<br>Any minute now I will be born again!*_

Selena: _ *But what if you never change?  
>What if you remain a sandy little butthole?*<em>

Brad: *_Hey Satan!  
>Dont be such a twit<br>Kelly won't have shit on me!  
>Just watch, just watch me change here I go Im changing!<br>Hey!  
>HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!<br>Ah!  
>Dee da tlee ta tlee ta tlee tlaa tlaa...<br>Heeeeeeey Selena!*_

"You see Selena," Brad said. "I can mature from now on. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Alright Brad," Selena said. "But not before we do something together."

"Like what?"

"We sing together."

Different music began to play as Brad and Selena sing their chosen song.

Selena: *_I pray you'll be our eyes _  
><em>And watch us where we go <em>  
><em>And help us to be wise<br>In times when we don't know_

_Let this be our prayer when we lose our way  
>Lead us to a place<br>Guide us with your grace  
>To a place where we'll be safe*<em>

Brad_: *La luce che tu dai*_

Selena_: *I pray we'll find your light*_

Brad_: *Nel cuore resterÃ* _

Selena_: *And hold it in our hearts*_

Brad_: *A ricordarci che*_

Selena_: *When stars go out each night _

Brad_: *L'eterna stella sei_

_Nella mia preghiera*_

Selena_: *Let this be our prayer*_

Brad_: *Quanta fede c'Ã¨ *_

Selena_" *When shadows fill our day*_

Brad_: *Lead us to a place*_

Selena_: *Guide us with your grace*_

Both_: *Give us faith so we'll be safe_

_Sognamo un mondo senza piÃ¹ violenza  
>Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza<br>Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino  
>Simbolo di pace e di fraternitÃ*<em>

Brad_: *La forza che ci dia*_

Selena_: *We ask that life be kind*_

Brad_: *Ãˆ il desiderio che*_

Selena_: *And watch us from above*_

Brad_: *Ognuno trovi amor* _

Selena_: *We hope each soul will find* _

Brad_: *Intorno e dentro a sÃ¨*_

Selena_: *Another soul to love*_

Both_: *Let this be our prayer*_

Selena_: *Let this be our prayer*_

Brad_: *Just like every child* _

Selena:_ *Just like every child*_

Both:_ *Need to find a place  
>Guide us with your grace<br>Give us faith so we'll be safe_

_E la fede che  
>Hai acceso in noi<br>Sento che ci salverai*_

"That was marvelous!" Mayor Mellowbrook said. "And it looks like that all three judges have given this couple three tens! They won the talent show!"

"We won?" Brad asked as the crowd cheered louder.

"We won darling," Selena said. "We won."

"Yeah Brad!"

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Harold was walking in the living room until he heard the phone ringing. He picked it up and said,

"Hello?"

"Is this Honey Buttowski?" Lila asked.

"Nope Lila. It's me Harold." Harold said.

"Oh. Um... Well... um..."

Suddenly another voice on the phone came.

"Is this Numbuh 12?" Mr. Sin asked.

"No. This is Harold and Lila." Harold said.

Suddenly another voice is heard on the phone.

"Hello. This is Wade. You forgot your wallet sir." Wade asked

"Are you talking to Harold, Sin or Lila?" Lila asked.

"I'm talking to the father of danger dude. That would be Harold." Wade answered.

"Hello. Is this Brad." Kelly said. "You haven't returned my notebook for over an year now. Can I have it back."

"Brad's not here." Harold answered.

"Hello? Is this Ms. Chicarelli." Satan said.

"No. She died or something." Sin said.

"But the Grim Reaper said she's not dead until next year."

"What do you want, a medal or something?" Lila said.

"Gordon's in the house!" Gordon said.

"SHUTUP GORDON!" All of the people on the phone said.

Suddenly more people came and talked on the phone.


	9. Honey's Ma Comes to Town

_**Honey's Ma Comes to Town**_

Today was normal. Today's a perfect day for the entire Buttowski family to spend a day watching "Swan Lake" at the Opera House. The reason - Brianna is in the performance.

"Do we have to go and see Cousin Brianna do her ballet performance?" Avery asked her mom Sally.

"Brianna worked hard to get into the ballet Avery," Sally replied. "Your Aunt Honey and I have all agree that the family should spend one day supporting Brianna during the ballet. We all agreed remember?"

Avery went speechless for a moment.

_Avery and her siblings were visiting Kick and his siblings one day. Everyone in the household except Brianna, Honey, Sally, Avery, Kick and Phyllis are outside and are very busy._

_Brianna is showing off her swan costume to Honey and Sally. Both women were awed at this._

"_My little Brianna is going to be in the play this Sunday at the Opera House," Honey said to Sally._

"_I wish my daughters would be in the ballet," Sally replied. "But Phyllis is so busy with the school reports and Avery, well, she's so busy hanging out with her friends and doing stunts all the time. They never have time to learn the arts of ballet and gracefulness."_

"_Wouldn't it be fun if all of us Buttowskis spend one day watching the ballet? Besides, it'll get your daughters to gat interested in the arts of ballet and it'll get my sons to mature. Even if they don't like doing things graceful."_

"_I suppose one day wouldn't hurt them."_

_()()()()()_

_As the family are having dinner, Honey and Sally have an announcement to make._

"_This Sunday, Brianna is going to be in the ballet," Honey said._

"_And it'll be very generous if all of us watch her at the opera house. It's very important to Brianna." Sally said._

"_This Sunday at the Opera?" Phyllis shrieked. "I have other important things to do."_

"_Like getting into other people's business?" Avery mocked. "Cause I too have something else to do on Sunday with Annabelle and I don't want to miss the opportunity."_

"_Now girls," Sally said to Phyllis and Avery. "This Sunday is important to Brianna. Besides, you girls may learn the arts of ballet."_

"_I feel dirty," Avery cried in a low voice._

"And I still feel dirty," Avery said finally. "I should've been at Annabelle's house by now."

"Oh come on Avery," Kick said to Avery. "It's just a ballet. What damage can it do to us hardcore daredevils?"

()()()()()

Two hours later, Honey, Harold, Sally, Kyle and Brianna are proud while the others – Kick, Brad, Phyllis, Avery, and Grandpa Archie – are just blank. They were speechless.

"How's the ballet, girls?" Sally asked Avery and Phyllis.

Phyllis and Avery exchange looks. Neither of them spoke one word.

"Speechless eh?"

"How about you boys?" Honey asked Kick, Brad, and Grandpa Archie.

"It's a waste of time," Brad said. "I should be with Pantsy and Horace and causing mayhem all over town."

"That ballet is bullshit!" Grandpa Archie said to Honey. "Back in the old days, performers are adults and professionals, but now it's just whiny spoiled brats who want to be famous. If your mother is here and alive, she would say _that_ ballet is crap! When she was your age, she was a magnificent dancer and a professional ballet. But she's gone and the family is never the same."

"Grandma's a dancer?" Kick asked Grandpa Archie. "How?"

"She took dancing classes when she was very young. She works very hard to become a professional. It's like working hard to become a daredevil. She never quits."

"What happened to her?" Avery asked. "Neither of saw her face."

"She died. No one knows why."

()()()()()

The next day, the Buttowski kids are at school and Harold is at work. Honey feels lonely inside the house so she decided to go out for a nice walk. The weather's nice. Not too windy or humid. A little trip to the coffee shop wouldn't hurt her.

"Anything you like m'am?" asked the worker.

"Large coffee double-double please," Honey replied.

"Coming right up m'am."

As Honey waits at her table for her coffee, an old woman who doesn't look too old to retire walks in and took a seat with Honey. The old woman is fairly tall. Her silver hair is straight and shoulder-length and neatly brushed. She wore a yellow, turtleneck sweater under a brown and pink sleeveless vest, pink skirt and a pair of brown combat boots.

"Are you here for a coffee?" Honey asked the old woman.

"Denise?" the old woman replied. "Is that you?"

"How do you know my name?"

"Denise. I've known you ever since you were a little girl back in the late 70s."

"Are you a stalker?"

"No. I'm your mother."

"My mother? But Dad said she died when I was only five."

"That was a lie. He only said it to protect you."

"Protect me? From what?"

"I'll explain everything on the way home."

()()()()()

Several hours later, the Buttowski kids are back home and are surprised to see Honey speaking to the old woman who claims to be Honey's mother.

"Who is she?" Brianna is the first to ask.

"Kids," Honey spoke. "This lady here is your long-lost grandmother."

"Our grandma?" Kick asked. "But I thought Grandpa said she died or something."

"That was a lie," said the woman. "Anyway, you kids can call me Mona or Grandma."

"It sure is a pleasure to meeting you Mona," Kick said to Mona.

"And I'm honoured to meet you, err, what's your name?"

"Clarence but everybody calls me Kick."

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Kick."

Just then, Brad pushes Kick aside violently.

"Don't listen to the dillweed here Grandma," Brad said sarcastically to Mona. "I'm a better grandson than he is. I'm Brad by the way. Yeah Brad!"

Just then, Brianna pushes Brad aside that he ended up tripping over Kick.

"Big deal," Brianna said. "Both my brothers are stupid and gross. I'm a better granddaughter. I'm Brianna!"

"Well," Mona said as she looks at Honey. "I must say what impolite children you have Honey. I should've raised you better than that. But on the other hand, Kick is shown to be very polite."

"Why don't you spend some time with the kids?" Honey suggested to Mona. "That way, you can get to known them better than what you have witnessed right now. And then, you have a lot of explaining to do."

()()()()()

"So you participate in a lot of beauty pageants and your mother does whatever you want?" Mona asked as she is force to participate in Brianna's tea party.

"That's how life goes for a girl," Brianna replied. "All girls want to be pretty and glamorous like Teena Sometimes."

"Okay. Do you ever consider doing other things like going outside and do sports? Your brother Kick always goes outside to have fun."

"Well I don't want to get all my pretty clothes dirty and be the laughing stock of the town would I?"

"Eh good point."

()()()()()

"So you cause mayhem and misery all over town with your friends?" Mona asked Brad this time.

"Right you are Granny," Brad replied. "Causing mayhem and misery in this town makes me a man. Sooner or later, I'm going to get myself a girlfriend."

"You already have a girlfriend!" Pantsy cried.

"I do?"

"Yeah! It's Selena!"

"Oh right."

"Is he always like that?" Mona asked Pantsy.

"Eh all the time m'am," Pantsy replied. "Well have a pleasant day m'am."

()()()()()

At the park, Mona and Kick are playing soccer happily with Gunther and Kendall. Mona and Kendall are winning against Kick and Gunther and before Mona makes a goal, Gordon and his goons – Michael and Anthony walk by and saw them.

"Hey loser!" Gordon yelled which caused Kick to get hit by the soccer ball. "Playing a lame game with your loser friends and your loser grandma? Cause it looks like you are!"

"You take that back Gordon!" Kick yelled.

"Or what? You gonna cry to your grandma?"

But this made Kick angry as he grabs a soccer ball and threw it at Gordon's face which leaves a red bruise on Gordon's beautiful face.

"You will regret this loser," Gordon cried. "You made me ugly!"

"That's because you already _are _ugly!" Kendall yelled at Gordon. "Besides, that's not how you treat a nice old lady like her. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Gordon mocked while making faces at Kendall.

But all of a sudden, Gordon's fun was put to an end as Mona walks up to Gordon and grabs him by the arm.

"Let go of me you old hag!" Gordon yelled as he struggles to get free.

"You are spoiled, selfish and unkind," Mona said firmly to Gordon. "No wonder why you don't have any friends nor you don't have a girlfriend. You will give my grandson and his friends proper respect, or else."

"Or else what?"

Mona turns to Kick, Gunther and Kendall who just stared at her.

"Be good kids and go to a safe place and get yourselves some ice-cream," Mona said to Kick, Gunther and Kendall. "I'm going to tear this man apart from the inside out."

()()()()()

"I don't know what to say Ma," Honey said as she saw a few blood stains on Mona's knuckles. "But is it necessary for you to beat up someone who's bullying Kick?"

"That boy is rude and spoiled." Mona said firmly to Honey. "He made fun of both Kick and his friends and also mocked me when I stand up against him."

"Speaking of Kick, where is he?"

"I send him and his friends to go get some ice-cream. They'll be back."

True to Mona's words, Kick, Gunther and Kendall walk through the front door.

"So do you kids have fun?" Honey asked.

"We had a blast," Kick replied.

"Um Kick," Kendall spoke to Kick.

"Yes?"

"Why is your grandma looking at the window as if she's being watched?"

Kick, Kendall, Gunther and Honey turned around and saw Mona looking at the window. She saw a police car drive by and she quickly ran to the kitchen.

"What's with her?" Kick asked.

"I have no idea Kick," Honey replied. "But this family is going to find out soon enough."

()()()()()

Later, Aunt Sally, Kyle, Phyllis and Avery paid a visit and are stunned to see Mona at the living room.

"Ma?" Sally cried. "Is that you?"

"Sally?" Mona replied. "You're here?"

"Why of course I'm here in the family. Ya think I would've forgotten my sister, my brother and their in-laws?"

"Speaking of your brother, where's Jules? It's been so long and I'm excited to meet him."

"He died," Kick said in a low voice.

"Jules died?" Ma asked Kick. "Since when?"

"Eight years ago in Egypt. He and I were diagnosed with a disease called _Di-Ra._ I manage to survive but Jules was unlucky. So he died."

"Why that's terrible. And I didn't have the chance to see him."

"But we can all pray that God is taking good care of him," Harold said as he rested his hand on his chance. "May he rest in peace."

"OY!" cried the rest of the family.

"But there's one question I have in mind for Grandma," Phyllis said. "Why did she leave Mom and Aunt Honey behind when they were little girls?"

"And why is it that she hid when the police came by?" Kick wondered.

Mona went silent for a moment and then, she took a huge breathe and has the courage to tell her family the truth.

"It all started back in the late 70s…."

_Mellowbrook, 1978._

_A young Mona, in her mid 20s is playing happily with her children – Honey, Sally and Jules. Honey is only five; Sally's four while Jules is only eight. Her husband Archie had just returned from war and is having a peaceful life supporting his family by settling down on the job he currently has – car repairman. But there's one problem for him, cancer._

_One night, Mona had Honey, Sally and Jules tucked to bed but before Mona leaves, Honey begs her to sing a lullaby to her. Mona gives in and sings the lullaby._

_*__Lullaby and good night_  
><em>In the sky stars are bright<em>  
><em>'Round your head, flowers gay<br>Set your slumbers till day_

_Close your eyes now and rest  
>May these hours be blessed<br>Close your eyes now and rest  
>May these hours be blessed*<em>

_As soon as Mona is finished with her lullaby, Honey, Sally and Jules are now fast asleep. She didn't notice that Archie walked by._

"_Aren't they just cute Archie?" Mona asked Archie._

"_They sure are Mona," Archie replied. "But we have bad news as of now."_

"_Bad news?"_

"_Take a look at the news."_

_Archie leads Mona to the TV where they saw a news reporter at some sort of college._

"_This is Nicole Reed live at the local college," said Nicole. "We have here a group of protesters protesting Benedict Uno's germ warfare lab. It's the first protest this city has ever had since the protest of women's right back in the 20s"_

"_WE WANT YOU DEAD!" the protesters yelled at Benedict from his balcony._

"_What rude people Father," said Benedict's 'children', the Delightful Children From Down the Lane._

"_Indeed my children," replied Benedict evilly. "Indeed."_

_Archie and Mona are horrified to see the news._

"_We have to stop that man," Archie told Mona._

"_But Archie, not on the condition you're in," Mona protested. "That cancer could kill you."_

"_I didn't win the war as a healthy man."_

"_Eh good point. A friend of mine is also protesting. I'll join, but don't tell the children about it."_

"_My lips are sealed."_

_()()()()()_

_At night, Mona joins the protesters at the basement of a friend's home to work on an antibiotic bomb._

"_This is going to be groovy sweet," said one of the protesters._

"_Yeah," replied the other. "__When this baby goes off, Uno's Germ lab is going to be history, man—germ history. _

_He laughs and then stops_

"_Oh man, I got the munchies."_

_()()()()()_

_That night at college, a group of protesters and Mona sneak inside the germs lab and placed the bomb on the table. The timer is set which gave the protesters time to escape._

_At the hallways, Lenny, one of the Delightful children is at guard duty. The problem is Lenny has asthma._

"_I wish something can cure my asthma," Lenny whined. "Or else I'll die."_

_Just the, the bomb went off and Lenny coughs his way out of the lab with the other Delightful Children and Benedict behind him. The DCFDTL are able to get out safely but Benedict got mauled by the protestors._

_Mona was the last protester to make the getaway, but she saw a helpless Benedict on the ground. Feeling soft, she helped him up._

_"Are you alright?" Mona asked Benedict._

_Instead of a nice respond, Benedict yells at her and gave her a icy stare._

_"You," Benedict sneered at Mona. "You've just made a big mistake. You'll spend the rest of your life in pri-"_

_But before Benedict could finish his sentence, Lenny accidentally slams the door open, crushing Benedict behind it._

_"My asthma's gone!" Lenny cried joyfully_

_()()()()()_

_"Only one member of the Mellowbrook protestors was identified," said Nicole Reed on TV. "__She's been described as a woman in her early 30s, and may be extremely helpful. For Channel Six News, I'm Nicole Reed."_

_"I feel terrible," Mona said to Archie._

_"I do too. What are you going to do? The cops are going to get you soon."_

_"I'm going into hiding."_

"_Hiding? What about the children? What will they react if they find out you're gone?"_

"_I can't stay here much longer Archie. Children's safety comes first. If they find out I'm a criminal on the run from the law, they can be in danger too."_

"_I guess you're right, but what will I tell them about you?"_

"_Lie to them. Make up any lie but don't tell them that I'm going into hiding. Understand?"_

"_I understand."_

_Mona later walks into the children's bedrooms and kissed Sally and Jules' foreheads. When she came to Honey next, Mona felt hurt that she has to leave her elder daughter behind. She was her favorite._

"_I'm sorry," Mona whispered as she kisses Honey's forehead before departing._

"And that's the end of my story," Mona finished sadly.

"I thought I dreamed that kiss," Honey said sadly. "But you did the right thing to protect us."

"But why did Dad have to lie to us about you being dead?" Sally questioned Mona.

"He only did it to protect you Sally," Mona replied. "If you, your sister and your brother learned that I was a criminal on the run, your lives would be in grave danger."

"I guess it's true," Kick said. "But how are you going to live in Mellowbrook while the FBI is still on your trail? Or worse, what will Benedict Uno react to this if he knows that you're here?"

"Benedict Uno?" Avery spoke. _It can't be him! Kids Next Door's arch enemy. Father._

"But there's one thing I don't understand," Honey said to Mona. "In all those years, why didn't you try to contact me?"

"But I did Denise," Mona replied. "I sent you a care package every week."

"Oh we use that same line on the kids when they're at camp."

"Well then let's go there and I'll show it to you."

"I don't think it's safe to be outside Grandma." Avery spoke. "At least not by yourself."

"You have a better idea?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Avery, Kick and Mona arrive at the post office to get Honey's undelivered mail. Mona had to wear a large trench coat and sunglasses to keep her identity safe from the locals.

"Hi," Kick said to the postal worker. "Any undelivered mail for Honey F. Buttowski?"

"No," the postal worker said before seeing a huge sack of parcels, "Oh yes I do. That's what happens when you don't tip your letter carrier at Christmas."

"I'll keep that in mind."

On the other side of the post office, a black silhouette in the form of a man is sending his mail at the post office. He is no other than Kids Next Door's worst enemy – Father.

"I'd like to send this to Prussia by airmail," Father said to the post lady. "Am I late for the 4:30 auto gyro?"

"I better take a look in the manual," said the lady.

"Oh the ignorance!"

Just then, Father sees his worst enemy Avery aka. Numbuh 12 leaving the post office with Kick and Mona.

"Wait a minute," Father said as he looked at Mona. "I know that woman. But from where? And in what capacity?"

Father spies on the bulletin board and in more particular, the "Wanted" poster with Mona's young picture on it.

"It's her." Father said finally. "At last!"

"This must be out of date," the post lady said. "I don't see 'Prussia' or 'auto gyro'."

"Well keep looking woman!"

As the post lady search more, Father turns around to look at Mona but she's gone.

"So close."

()()()()()

"Your Grandma is awesome Kick," Gunther said to Kick as they went to the park with Mona. "Not only can she do a lot of awesome stuff, but she sure can kick butt."

"Mom said she's strong," Kick replied.

"And indeed I am," Mona said. "You kids are so nice."

Just then, they heard police sirens.

"Hide Grandma!" Kick cried to Mona.

"Quick in the trash can!" Gunther cried to Mona.

Mona wasted no time to get inside the trash can by the time Officer Irwin walk to Kick and Gunther.

"Have you boys seen an old lady lately?" Officer Irwin asked.

"There are a lot of old ladies here," Kick replied.

"We don't know which old lady you're talking about," Gunther replied.

Officer Irwin pulls out a photo of Mona's old picture.

"_That_ old lady," Officer Irwin replied sharply.

"What about her?" Kick asked.

"That lady is a dangerous criminal and is one of America's Most Wanted. We are doing what we can to bring her to justice after being on the run for almost 33 years."

"I think I saw her at the opera house," Gunther lied.

"Thank you for your cooperation."

As Officer Irwin left to the opera, Gunther slowly opens the can to let Mona out.

"The coast is clear," Gunther said. "You can come out now."

"Oh thank goodness," Mona said. "I thought I was a goner."

"That's what we all thought," Kick replied.

()()()()()

In Father's mansion, two FBI agents, Joe Gannon and Bill Friday interview Father about the incident.

"Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?" Gannon asked Father.

"Of course," Father replied angrily. "Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal."

"Un, father," asked the Delightful Children from Down the Lane. "Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago."

"Of course my pets," Father replied to the Delightful Children. "It was all a misunderstanding."

"At any rate, the FBI will track down this mystery woman and put her behind hars," Friday replied.

Then Joe and Bill walk out of the mansion.

"How does it happen, Bill?" Gannon whispered to Friday.

"How does what happened?" Friday whispered back.

"How does a sweet young lady mortgage her future for a bunch of scraggly ideals and greasy-haired promises?"

"Maybe she thought the war in Southeast Asia was so immoral, her end justified the means."

"Gee Bill; you haven't been the same since your son went crazy in Vietman."

"It's a pain that never ends."

()()()()()

At home, Phyllis is showing Mona her school reports.

"My that was very impressive Phyllis," Mona said after she read Phyllis' reports. "Now I have something to tell you in return. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?"

"Seven," Kyle replied as he walks into the room.

"Kyle it's a rhetorical question," Phyllis said sharply.

"Rhetorical eh? Eight!"

"Do you even know what _'rhetorical' _means?"

"Do I know sis?"

"Not likely."

Just then, the doorbell rings and everyone is alarmed at this. Honey is quick to close the curtains.

"Hide Grandma!" Brad cried.

But someone pounds on the door, and then manages to open it. It was only Grandpa Archie.

"No door is going to keep me from my meddling!" Grandpa Archie yelled at Brad. "Stand up straight Brad!"

"Yes sir!" Brad replied quickly.

"Archie?" Mona questioned Grandpa Archie.

"Mona?" Grandpa Archie questioned Mona. "Is that you?"

"My how you've aged so quickly. I'd barely recognized you."

"The same to you my dear."

"I guess everything's okay here."

"But did you have to tell them the truth? I thought we agreed not to tell them for their own safety."

"They were determined Archie."

"Well, I tried. What's for supper?"

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Friday and Gannon are interviewing a worker at the coffee shop where Mona first met Honey.

"I think I saw her," the worker said.

"Well," Friday started as he is typing at the iPad. "According to our iPad aging program, she should look about..."

Friday turns the iPad around; it has a giant 33 on it.

"... 33 years older."

"Yep I saw her," the worker replied. "That is to say, I saw her."

()()()()()

Outside the Buttowski house, Mona shows Kick, Brad and Brianna how to tie dye shirts. Brad puts one on as fun.

"Look at me! I'm a hippy!" Brad cried. "Peace man, groovy! Bomb Vietman! Four more years! Up with people!"

Then Brad runs off.

"Y'know Grandma," Kick spoke to Mona. "I used to think that I was adopted. I couldn't understand how I fit into this family. Now that I met you, I suddenly make a lot of sense."

"I'm so glad to see the spirit of the 70s and the awesomeness is still alive in you kids." Mona said.

"This shirt is groovy man," Brianna said as she too wore the dyed shirt. "Peace on Earth!"

()()()()()

"Yeah I saw that crazy lady earlier," Gordon replied to Father, the Delightful Children, Gannon and Friday. "She beat the crap out of me."

"Thank you for your cooperation," Father said coldly. "Now where is she living right now?"

"At the cul-de-sac in house 3161."

()()()()

Back at the Buttowski house, the Buttowskis are having dinner until the phone rang. Kick is quick to answer the phone in the kitchen.

"Hello Numbuh 12," Father said coldly.

"If you're looking for my cousin, she's not home," Kick replied coldly as well.

"Really? You must be her cousin Kick. Am I right?"

"Yes. What do you want? Revenge on my cousin?"

"Actually, I want your grandmother Mona. May I speak to her?"

"Just a sec."

Kick leans into the doorway and gives his family a nervous look.

"Grandma?" Kick spoke. "There's nothing to be alarmed about, but...could you take one last look at the family and join me in the kitchen?"

()()()()()

Outside the house, a tank and a police car pull up on the driveway. Out came Father, the Delightful Children, Friday and Gannon.

"This should be fun," the Delightful Children said as their tank blew up the Buttowski door.

"But let's not get into a bad fight my pets." Father replied.

"Yes Father."

"I've been waiting almost 33 years for this moment."

The Buttowski family (minus Kick and Mona) are alarmed when they saw their door being destroyed by the Delightful tank. Avery collects her courage and steps outside the house, in front of the Delightful tank.

"Why hello Numbuh 12," The Delightful Children said to Avery. "It's been a long time, is it not?"

"What do you Delightful Dorks want?" Avery asked.

"Simple Numbuh 12. We want Mona."

"Who?"

"Y'know. Your grandmother. Let's make a little deal shall we? You give us Grandma Mona and we'll leave you and your family alone. Refuse and we'll level up this house."

"Pick your choice wisely Numbuh 12," Father said coldly to Avery. "We could do this all day."

()()()()()

Meanwhile at the garage, Kick and Mona are making their getaway by using Kick's motorcycle.

"Where did you get this motorcycle?" Mona asked Kick.

"It was a birthday present from Grandpa," Kick replied.

"I see."

"Hang on. It's going to be a bumpy ride."

()()()()()

"Well?" The Delightful Children asked Avery.

Then Avery made up her mind.

"We FIGHT!" Avery answered courageously at the Delightful Children.

"What a poor choice, but if that's what you want, we'll rumble."

The Buttowskis got ready to fight against the Delightful Children, Father and the FBI. As they fight, Gannon searches the entire house for Mona but neither Mona nor Kick are found.

"She's gone," Gannon said to Father.

"What an unfortunate soul." Father said in a low voice. "We'll find her. Even if it takes me another 33 years to do so."

()()()()()

In a remote location in the Mellowbrook badlands, Kick and Mona are out of the FBI's sight.

"We made it Kick," Mona said.

"And it's all thanks to our anonymous tipster." Kick said as he answers the call.

"But who are you and why did you tip us off?" Kick asked the caller who is no other than Lenny the Delightful Child.

"Well," Lenny spoke. "It's because of your grandmother that I got rid of my asthma that was keeping me out of the academy."

"Thank you."

"Sure. Just think of me as an anonymous friend who rose through the ranks of the Delightful mansion to become-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know that."

Then Kick hangs up. Just then, a van is pulled up which means it's time for Mona to go into hiding again.

"Well," Mona said. "There's my ride. The underground awaits."

"At least this time, one member of this family is awake for your goodbye," Kick replied sadly.

"Oh. Remember whatever happens, you have a grandmother, and she's truly proud of you and your mother."

"I'll never forget you Grandma."

"Don't worry. You'll always be a part of me."

As Mona enters the van, she accidentally hits her head on the doorframe.

"Biscuits," Mona said.

She closes the door and drives off. Kick watches the van leave, then sits on the hood of his motorcycle until nightfall, staring contemplatively at the stars.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

The phone of the Buttowski house rang. Kick is as usual quick to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hello Numbuh 12," answered the Delightful Children. "It's been a long time."

"I'm not Numbuh 12. I'm her cousin Kick."

"Oh that's too bad. We were hoping to speak to her. We have some unfinished business to do."

Suddenly, another voice on the phone came.

"Is this Benedict Uno?" Joe Gannon asked.

"No. This is Kick Buttowski and the Delightful Children," Kick replied.

Then another voice is heard on the phone.

"Hello. This is Abby Lincoln. Is Avery Buttowski here?" Abby asked.

"She's not here," replied Kick, Gannon and the Delightful Children.

"What the hell is the Delightful Dorks doing on the phone? Numbuh 362 is not going to like this."

"What the hell is going on here?" Numbuh 86 asked angrily through the phone.

"It's none of your business Numbuh 86," the Delightful Children replied.

"You dork again?"

"Hello is this Avery?" Annabelle asked. "She and I have something important to do."

"Why hello Numbuh 45," the Delightful Children replied to Annabelle. "It's a real pleasure talking to you rather than talking to Numbuh 12's cousin."

"I'm right here and heard everything," Kick growled.

"Gordon's in the house!" Gordon said.

"SHUT UP!" All the people on the phone yelled.

Suddenly more people came and talked to the phone.


	10. The Buttowski Wears Red Stilettos

_**The Buttowski Wears Red Stilettos**_

The mall is considered the only place in the world that all females, old and young and tall and short have ever been in more than they have been in other buildings. Aunt Sally, the mother of Phyllis, Kyle and Avery is spending one day at the mall, far apart from her kids. They're driving her nuts with Phyllis' gossiping, Kyle's chatterbox and Avery's quiet and firm attitude. When Honey saw this on her own sister, she had advised her to spend some quality time at the mall shopping and getting herself a man for once in her life.

Speaking about getting a man, Aunt Sally was as always a single mother. Ever since her first husband (who fathered Phyllis, Kyle and Avery) died from cancer, Sally had been trying to get herself remarried in hopes of giving her children a father. But her second husband can't stand Kyle's chatterbox so he left her. Her third husband was able to stand Kyle's chatterbox but he can't stand Avery's cold behavior towards him as if she knew that he's hiding something and won't reveal it. Shortly, Sally filed a divorce after discovering that her third husband is cheating on her with another woman. Afterwards, she had three more husbands whom all cannot stand Kyle's chatterbox and Phyllis' nosiness, but had nothing to do with Avery as she is always away from home. After that, Sally is unable to get remarried.

"You need to spend one day away from your kids," Honey said to Sally. "That way, you can get yourself another man and your kids can finally have a father."

"But what if he can't stand my kids like my previous ones?" Sally asked nervously.

"Don't worry sis. I'm sure things will work out perfectly.

This was the advice that Honey had told her one Saturday morning. She was lucky that the mall is quite busy and crowded, but unfortunately for her, all the attractive men that she saw are already with other women. Sally had been spending almost half of her money on things she needed for the house and as she was about to leave, something caught her eyes.

At the display window of the shoe store, crimson flows through her eyes like fire. A dainty staircase in the form of a curved wave. What Sally had seen is the exclusive and beautiful red stilettos.

"Oh my god," Sally cried. "Those stilettos are beautiful. I must have it!"

Sally ran inside the store and picks up the red stilettos. She didn't notice that the clerk is approaching her.

"Can I help you m'am?" said the clerk.

"How much are this lovely pair of red stilettos?" Sally asked.

"They're very expensive m'am. They're eighty dollars."

"Eighty dollars? I'll take it."

"Are you sure m'am? It's very expensive and women can't seem to afford them nowadays."

"I'm not kidding. I'll take it, even if I don't have enough money with me,"

"Okay you asked for it."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Avery and Kick are visiting Grandpa Archie while their parents are out. Grandpa Archie really wanted to show Kick and Avery Grandma Mona's stuff in the attic that Mona herself had left behind when forced to go into hiding. Avery and Kick could see a lot of 60s and 70s stuff in the attic. Most of them are hippie-related.

"Grandma's a hippie?" Avery asked Grandpa Archie as she puts on hippie clothes.

"She was a rebellious woman fighting for women rights," Grandpa Archie replied. "That's what all hippies do back in the old days."

"I didn't know hippies were so ... awesome," Kick said as he too tries on hippie clothes.

But before the excitement can go any further, Grandpa Archie and Kick spotted Avery trying the hookah used for smoking flavored tobacco.

"Don't do it!" Grandpa Archie warned Avery.

"It's not safe for your health!" Kick cried as well.

But it was too late as Avery already took a sip and then, her vision went crazy. She could see flowers and peace symbols flying across her and colorful scenery. Her world had become the dream a hippie herself had always dreamed.

"Avery," Kick spoke.

Avery turns around and instead of seeing her hardcore cousin; she could see Kick dressed in hippie clothes.

"Back off!" Avery hissed at Kick, still in a trance. "That hookah's mine!"

"We don't want to hurt you," Kick spoke softly.

"We just want the hookah," Grandpa Archie replied.

But this made Avery angry as she dashes out of the attic and out of the house. Kick and Grandpa Archie give chase after her.

"Wait!" Kick cried as he and Grandpa Archie chased Avery through town.

Avery manages to dash across the busy highway and actually made it to the other side. Grandpa Archie stayed put for fear that he'll get run over, but Kick, being determined, made a dash to the busy highway _without _looking both ways before crossing. Avery grins menacing at Kick but that is when all of a sudden, Grandpa Archie spots a truck heading towards Kick's direction.

"KICK!" Grandpa Archie cried. "LOOK OUT!"

Kick turns around to see the truck...

...but he is too late.

Grandpa Archie watched in horror as the truck hits Kick real hard which causes Kick to fell on the pavement, not breathing. Avery went back to reality for a moment to see Kick's body. A few seconds before reverting back to her 'world'.

"Kick?"

()()()()()

Sally is walking home in her new red stilettos that she didn't notice a group of guys following her as if they have interest in her.

"Looking good babe," said one of the men.

"Are you talking to me?" Sally asked while blushing madly.

"Who else? Listen, I'm Mr. Pinter, a photographer working at the Photo Shop and I'd like to hire you as a model for this year's calendar. What do you say?"

"I don't mind at all. I'll do it."

"Splendid."

Mr. Pinter gives Sally his business card.

"Call me. We'll talk."

()()()()()

"So is my grandson okay Nurse?" Grandpa Archie asked the nurse in the hospital.

"He's," the nurse spoke but lost her words. "He's…"

Grandpa Archie grew impatient.

"Well?"

"He's in the ICU," the nurse said sadly. "He suffered a lot of damage after being hit by a truck."

"Is he going to be okay? Will he be alive again?"

"We don't know sir. He's in a coma as of now."

This made Grandpa Archie lost his words this time. He couldn't believe that Kick, his hardcore grandson is in the ICU and is in a coma. Will Kick be alive? And what about Avery? Will she get over her addiction to the hookah that they've found in the attic?

()()()()()

As for Avery, she hides behind the fence and happily smokes from the hookah until all of a sudden; her best friend Annabelle caught her.

"Avery?" Annabelle asked once she saw the hookah. "What are you doing?"

"Sweet hookah," Avery replied.

"Oh no. You're addicted to that hippie hookah!"

"What? No I'm not!"

"Yes you are and you need help. And I know who."

And with that, Annabelle drags Avery (who is still holding the hookah) to where Avery needs help the most.

()()()()()

Sally had thought about the deal Mr. Pinter made earlier so she called a babysitter to babysit Kyle and Phyllis (and an addicted Avery) and went to Photo Shop. There she saw Mr. Pinter taking pictures of a styled gentleman. It's a good thing Sally is still wearing her red stilettos.

"Why hello my dear," Mr. Pinter said once he saw Sally and her red stilettos. "I see you came to your end of the deal."

Sally only nodded while blushing.

"Speechless eh? Here's your costumes and try them on in the dressing room eh? We'll start in a few minutes. No more and no less."

Sally again nods as Mr. Pinter gives her a bag full of costumes and sends her to the dressing room. In the dressing room, Sally was at first surprised to see that some of her costumes are those used for pin-ups but Sally had the courage to do so to try one on while still wearing her red stilettos. As she exits the dressing room, Mr. Pinter is the first to go gaga over Sally who is wearing a sexy, red dress which matches her red stilettos.

"WOWEE!" Mr. Pinter cried like a wolf. "You're more than just a model my dear."

"Oh just call me Sally," Sally said while blushing. "Everyone calls me that y'know."

"Well it's time for the shooting. Have your poses ready!"

Sally obeyed Mr. Pinter and for the rest of the day, Sally did a lot of sexy poses which caught Mr. Pinter's attention. Eventually, Sally's fun had just begun.

()()()()()

"I hate to do this Avery but it's for your own good," Annabelle said as she still drags Avery to a military school.

"Oh no," Avery hissed evilly. "Not…_military school_!"

"It's for your own good Avery. Trust me."

As Annabelle and Avery went inside, they are greeted by Colonel Payload _**(**__**author's note: He's the same one who makes his only appearance in the Kick Buttowski episode "Kick the Habit")**_

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" Colonel Payload sneered at Avery and Annabelle. "Two girls in military school."

"Actually I'm not planning to go to military school sir," Annabelle corrected Colonel Payload.

"Oh really? What about little brunette here?"

"But she _is_ sir."

"No." Avery hissed while still holding the hookah. "Avery does not like military school!"

"Well this school is for boys only," Colonel Payload replied to Annabelle. "But I can place a side bet on her."

"We're listening," Annabelle replied.

"Have you heard of the kid called Kick Buttowski?"

"Yeah I know him. He's my cousin's best friend."

"Well last year, his stunts went out of control and we had a little bet to see if he can go 24 hours without stunts or else go to reformed school. He won actually. But tell me this; is he still getting out of control since the bet?"

"Nope. Last time I saw him, he was meditating peacefully in the meadows."

"Since when did he meditate?"

"Since his Grandma came to town two weeks ago."

"I see. Now about the side bet I'm going to put on your friend here…"

"Yeah, the bet."

"Listen carefully. If your friend doesn't want to go to reformed school for girls which are a few roads away from here, she must go 24 hours without smoking from any kind and not use drugs. They're very bad for your health!"

"And if she fails…"

"Then, she'll have to go to reformed school for girls for one year."

"Ya hear that Avery?"

Avery only nods before going back to the hookah.

"We're gonna do 24 hours of no smoke or drugs…"

Annabelle grabs the hookah and gives it to Colonel Payload.

"…starting now."

()()()()()

As Sally walks home, she notices a group of guys looking at the calendars. Out of curiosity, Sally took a peak and was surprised that she was on the calendar, every single month of the year. One of the guys noticed her and whistles at her which caused her to blush madly.

"Hey cutie," said one of the guys. "How 'bout going out sometimes and we'll, y'know, talk?"

"Not so fast wolfie!" yelled another guy. "I saw her first and she's going with me!"

"Nun-uh! She's going with me!"

"No me!"

"ME!"

"In your dreams asshole."

"In your dreams chubby!"

As two guys continue on fighting, Sally casually walks home and minds her own business until she decided to stop at her sister's house. What's weird is that her hardcore nephew Kick isn't home.

"Why hi Sally," Honey said as she lets Sally in. "How's the mall?"

"It's really nice sis and I just brought myself a pair of red stilettos," Sally replied. "Like them?"

"Like them? I love them! How much does it really cost you?"

"About eighty bucks. By the way, where's Kick?"

"Didn't dad called you?"

"Nope. Why?"

"He just called and said that Kick's in the ICU."

"The ICU? You don't mean _intensive-care unit_?"

"Dad means it. He said Kick got hit by a truck while trying to cross the road."

"Well he should next time look both ways before crossing."

"I don't think that's the cause Sally. Your daughter Avery had found this … hippie hookah in Dad's attic and somehow got _very _high on it."

"Is my daughter taking drugs?"

"That's what Dad told me. When he and Kick tried to take the hookah away from Avery, she went insane and crossed the busy highway. Kick tried to catch her, butt…"

Honey is at the urge to cry as Sally sadly watches her sister cry.

"…He got run over, is in the ICU and is now in a coma."

Honey then started crying as Sally comforts her by hugging her.

"There, there sis," Sally comforted Honey. "I'm sure Kick will be alright."

"But what if he dies during the coma? I can't bear to lose him."

"Now don't say that sis. It'll make things worse."

()()()()()

8 hours out of 24 at Annabelle's house, Annabelle and an insane Avery are in the basement. Annabelle is trying new ways to get Avery back to normal and not use the hippie hookah … ever.

"If I remember what cousin Gunther did to Kick when he's high on stunts," Annabelle spoke to herself as Avery looks at her insanely. "The first thing to do is to get rid of all hippie drugs in the house."

"Hippie drugs?" Avery muttered.

"It's a good thing Ma never allows hippie drugs in the house. Otherwise, my little bro DJ would most likely to get high on it."

"Was he a hippie?"

"Yeah since he's half Norse and half Jamaican."

"Half Jamaican?"

"Ma's Jamaican and Pa's Norse."

"Sweet."

"Anyway, let's get back to work and get you out of those hippie drugs for a maximum of 24 hours alright?"

Avery only nods in agreement. But Annabelle can tell that Avery won't cooperate.

_I don't think this'll work out well._

()()()()()

Meanwhile at January's mansion, the entire Test family (and Selena) are having dinner and I gotta say that this is a normal dinnertime. When the family are still citizens of Porkbelly, they have to eat Hugh's disgusting meatloaf. It was horrible. It makes you want to vomit on the carpet and drink five glasses of water.

But today, Lila had some important news as she was the English teacher of Mellowbrook Elementary.

"Principal Henry had just granted me a few weeks of vacation in Paris," Lila told her family.

"Well that's wonderful news dear," Hugh said proudly. "When do we start packing?"

Lila gives Hugh a confused look. There's always a catch.

"Um dear," Lila spoke. "He only wanted me to go to Paris alone to teach a group of French children schoolwork."

"Oh and what can we do while you're away?" Johnny spoke gleefully.

"Try not to burn down the mansion for once honey."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Suck the house into another dimension _one _time, and you just can't let it go, can you?"

"Well I guess I'm off." Lila said as she looks at her watch.

"You're leaving Aunt Lila?" January spoke.

"Yes dear. Make sure everyone else behaves will you dear."

"Eh, okay."

()()()()()

16 hours out of 24, Avery had calmed down but is still in her insane self. Annabelle does whatever she can to keep Avery away from hippie drugs and more specifically, the hippie hookah. All's going well until they saw the Delightful Children from Down the Lane holding a hippie hookah in front of Avery.

"Oh Numbuh 12," the Delightful Children spoke to Avery. "We've noticed that you have a side bet wth Colonel Payrol of the military school. We just wanted to give you this hippie hookah as a gift to you from us. Care to take a sip? You can't resist."

"Don't do it Avery," Annabelle warned Avery.

Avery steps closer to reach for the hookah but at the last second, she held back.

"Not this time," Avery spoke in a low voice. "You Delightful Dorks can just go back to where you came from and leave me to suffer without the hookah."

"How disappointing," the Delightful Children said as they walked away, leaving Avery and a surprised Annabelle alone.

()()()()()

Next day, Sally, wearing her finest to match with her red stilettos is walking around town as all the males and the jealous females watch her go by.

"I can't believe all the guys liked me," Sally said in a happy tone. "But can they stand my children's behaviour?"

As Sally continues on walking, she accidentally bumps into Hugh who is planning to do some shopping.

"Sorry if I ruined your clothes Sally," Hugh said as he helped Sally up.

"The fault's mine really," Sally replied. "I wasn't looking where I was going that's all."

"Nah it was mine actually. If it makes it up for you, I can invite you and your kids to dinner with my kids."

"Why that's sweet. When will I be there?"

"Around 5PM."

"Sounds wonderful. I'll be there."

As Sally and Hugh depart, their brains are telling them that they will soon fall in love with each other.

_Man Sally's so beautiful, _Hugh thought. _But I can never mention this to my kids or my wife. Ever._

_Hugh's a nice guy, but he already has kids and a wife, _Sally thought as well. _But it can't be fair for Lila if Hugh cheated on her just because I'm prettier than her._

()()()()()

23 hours out of 24, Avery is doing well without the hookah or other drugs. That is until the Delightful Children came back with an even better hippie hookah.

"Look what we have for you Numbuh 12," the Delightful Children said to Avery. "We've got you a better hippie hookah. Wanna try?"

"Nice try Delightful Dorks," Avery said while still calm. "I've been a living wreck in the past 23 hours. I've caused my cousin to get injured and I went out of control. All because of that _stupid _hookah."

"Hmph," the Delightful Children grumbled in disappointment. "Another attempt to get Numbuh 12 to reformed school backfired."

()()()()()

At the hospital, Grandpa Archie is waiting for signs of Kick's recovering, but to no avail. Unfortunately for him, visiting hours are over. As Grandpa Archie sadly leaves the room, there was a slight but weak groan coming from Kick.

"What the biscuits hit me?" Kick groaned.

"A truck hit you real hard yesterday and you were sent to the ICU," Grandpa Archie replied. "But visiting hours are over for me."

"It's okay. I won't be out for a while since I kinda suffered major damages."

"But it's a good thing you're a fast healer."

Grandpa Archie and Kick laughed at that last sentence.

"You're always a good joker Grandpa," Kick said. "So I guess that means that I'll have to wait till I get a discharge right?"

"Oh big time," Grandpa Archie replied.

()()()()()

At January's mansion, Johnny, Susan and Mary are trying to bail out of the mansion until Hugh stops them.

"Now where do you kids think you're going?" Hugh asked them. "We have dinner with Sally and her kids at 5 y'know."

"We're going out," Johnny said.

"To help out Mr. Vickle with his rose bushes," Susan and Mary replied.

"I see. Does Mr. Vickle knows about this?" Hugh questioned the kids.

"Well we need 40 hours of community services to graduate Dad and helping Mr. Vickle with his flowers is the only way we could think of," Mary replied.

"Well okay. But don't try to cause trouble."

Then Johnny, Susan and Mary left the mansion. At the same time, Sally alone arrived at the mansion.

"Where are your kids?" Hugh asked.

"Phyllis had to do a school report, Kyle's at the puppet show and Avery's at a friend's house," Sally replied. "Yours?"

"They're helping Mr. Vickle with his rose bushes. It may be fun if we cook dinner together."

"Sure. That sounds fun."

As Sally and Hugh went to the kitchen to cook dinner, Hugh accidentally spilled some of the water on Sally's shirt and on his shirt as well.

"Oh dear what a mess," Sally said as she tries to clean Hugh's shirt.

But all of a sudden, Hugh and Sally stop at their tracks as they exchange looks on each other. They find each other oddly attractive despite their appearances. And above all what had happened in the last few days, it was because of Sally's red stilettos.

_My god he's attractive. _Sally thought as she leans closer to Hugh.

_By god she's sexy. _Hugh thought also as he too leans closer to Sally.

They were about to kiss however, until Hugh saw a picture of him and Lila just behind Sally.

"This isn't right for us," Hugh said sadly.

"It isn't right for the both of us Hugh," Sally replied. "You have a wife and kids."

"I know and it wouldn't be fair for Lila if I cheated on her."

"We'l it's been nice knowing you Hugh."

"Yeah. Despite our dinner was rather short."

Then Sally left.

()()()()()

Three minutes before 24 hours is complete, Avery is once again comfronted by the Delightful Children.

"We have a bigger and better hippie hookah for you Numbuh 12," the Delightful Children said as they seized Avery. "This time, you cannot resist."

Avery tries to pull away, but the Delightful Children's grips are too strong. It looks like Avery will have to go to reformed school...

...but someone is quick enough to pull Avery away from the hookah. And no it's not Annabelle this time. This time, it's Kick.

"How utterly rude Clarence Buttowski," the Delightful Children sneered at Kick. "We thought you were in the hospital."

"I just got a discharge an hour ago," Kick replied. "And I'm not letting you sent my cousin to reformed school all because of that stupid hookah."

"How disappointing Clarence. But she still has a minute left."

"Actually, she doesn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Her 24 hours is up about three minutes ago."

"So techinally she won the bet thank you very much." Colonel Payroll spoke as he walks towards the group.

"Colonel Payroll?" Kick spoke in confusion.

"Glad to see you again Kick. As for those Delightful Kids..."

Colonel Payroll handcuffs the Delightful Children and had them go to his van.

"...they're coming with me for 2 years of disciplent. Hope they like crew cuts by the way."

As the van rode away, Kick and Avery exchanged looks.

"How does he know?"

()()()()()

"My it was such a nice and romantic dinner," Sally told Phyllis, Avery and Kyle back home.

"Who was your date Ma?" Kyle asked.

"The nice man, Hugh Test."

"Isn't he the husband of Lila and the father of Johnny, Susan and Mary?" Phyllis asked.

"Why yes dear he is."

"Did his wife know about this? She could get really mad." Avery warned.

"Oh she wasn't home Avery. She wasn't home."

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

All's quiet in the house of Sally Buttowski. But then, Avery's there as she secretly enters the attic room and closes it tight. In the attic, Avery pulls out a hippie hookah and took a few sips of it, but is careful to not get too insane.

"I love the hippies," Avery spoke as the music by the Beatles play.


	11. Brad of Duty: Johnny at War

_**Brad of Duty: Johnny at War**_

It was just a normal day in Mellowbrook. Well yeah it's normal alright, but on this particular day, a certain teenager by the name of Brad Buttowski is entering the Game Store. As he walks through the hallways looking for an interesting game, he notices something new.

"Alright!" Brad cried. "_Call of Duty: World at War _video game is finally here! Yeah Brad!"

So Brad walks up to the cashier where he saw a nerdy, pimpled-faced collage boy.

"Hey buddy! I want to buy this sweet, damned video game if you please?:

"I _have_ a name y'know! It's Jeremy," Jermeny spoke angrily. "And I'm sorry, but this game is M rated. You're too young to play this."

"Too young! I'm like 17 years old so I'm old enough to play this damned game! I'm not a little kid anymore and I'm not afraid of this game!"

"Um you have to be at least 18 to play this game and there's no way you're going to convince me to give this to you!"

"Tell ya what. If you let me buy this game, I'll arrange a date between you and a sister of my girlfriend. All expenses paid."

"Whoa! I did not know that you have a girlfriend but since you said that she has a sister who is hot, the game's yours."

"Yeah Brad!"

()()()()()

Meanwhile, a certain Johnny Test is also entering the Game Store and caught his eyes on the new video game.

"AWESOME!" Johnny cried with glee. "_Call of Duty: World at War_ is finally here and it's mine!"

So Johnny walks up to the cashier where he saw an overweight man (*_**I'll just call him Bloaty**_.*)

"Hey there buddy. I would like to by this sweet game here?"

"No can do Johnny!" Bloaty replied. "This game is rated M and you're too young to play this!"

"And tell me why I can't have it?"

"Because it's for players who are 18 and over and are mature enough to play this. You're 12 and you're not mature enough."

"Oh well then I guess I can't tell you that you're having a date with a very hot lady from the Grey Embassy."

This caught Bloaty's attention. "Really?"

"Yeah. My cousin just captured that babe and is holding her hostage as of now in her lab."

"Ooh I must see this hot babe. Here's the game and I'm off to finally get a date with the hot babe from the Grey Embassy. Ta!"

Then Bloaty went off.

()()()()()

Meanwhile at home, Brad is kicking his computer since the new game didn't seem to be working. And as Brad keeps on kicking the computer, Kick Buttowski saw him and walks into Brad's room.

"What do you want dillweed?" Brad said in annoyance. "Can't you see that I'm busy here?"

"Well I can see the problem with that computer of yours Brad." Kick replied.

"Prove it."

Kick looks behind the computer and then at Brad.

"Here's your problem." Kick spoke. "You need a new video card. Your old one won't work with this game."

"Really eh?" Brad asked.

"And it's expensive nowadays."

"I know how to get a free one! Wait right here."

2 hours later, Brad was holding a video card in his hand as he entered his room. Kick also entered his room so he can set it up.

"Where did you get that video card with a star and moon on it?" Kick asked Brad suspiciously.

"Johnny's dorky sisters." Brad said with an evil grin on his face.

()()()()()

Susan and Mary were in their lab and tried to turn on their computer, but it didn't. Susan looked behind the computer and saw a huge hole behind the computer. Brad ripped the video card out of their computer. They saw the words "Yeah Brad!" on their computer in graffiti style.

"OH MY GOD! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS BRAD BUTTOWSKI!" Susan yelled at the top of their lungs.

()()()()()

Kick finished installing the video card and suddenly the game was on. Brad was very happy at the sight of the really cool graphics.

"Sweet graphics!" Brad said like a spoiled child.

"Whatever. I'm outta here." Kick replied in a bored tone.

"By the way dillweed, since when were you so smart on computers?"

"Not telling ya."

Then Kick left the room.

()()()()()

Three days later, while Brad is being addicted to the game, his Grandpa Archie walked into the room and stands right in front of the TV with a firm look on his face causing Brad to stop the game.

"What the hell old timer!" Brad yelled at Grandpa Archie. "I was at the part where I'm going to *_BLEEP_!* the enemy here!"

"Watch your mouth young man and you're wasting your time on that piece of junk!" Grandpa Archie yelled back. "Back in my days, World War II is a serious thing and both the Japanese and the Germans don't want to get killed by us Americans."

"Whatever, you're just trying to get me to stop the game and do some school lessons. Like that is ever going to work!"

"I'm outta here!" Grandpa Archie said as he left Brad's room. "People used to believe in things back in my time, now it's kids playing indoors. Speaking of kids, where the heck is Kick anyway?"

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Johnny came home from school and when he was about to play Call of Duty again in his room, he saw his neat freak dad Hugh being addicted to the game.

"Whoa! Didn't see that coming." Johnny spoke.

But when Johnny spoke those words, Hugh pauses the game and turns around to see Johnny standing behind him.

"Oh hi son. I'm just playing this game and then I'm off to cook some meatloaf." Hugh said nervously.

"I see."

"Do you mind playing this game with me? I'm kinda lonely when you're at school plus this M rated game is so sweet."

"I don't mind at all."

A few days later, Johnny and Hugh became so addicted to the game that Lila, January, Selena, Susan and Mary had to cook their own dinner. Just then, Susan and Mary walk up to Johnny's room.

"Hey why don't you guys hang out with your friends?" Susan asked Hugh and Johnny.

"We are Susan." Hugh replied not taking his eyes off the TV.

Hugh plays a troop and shot Harold's soldier in the game.

"I meant outside dad." Susan said in annoyance.

"Plus shouldn't you be at school Johnny?" Mary asked Johnny.

"Mr. Teacherman gave all the kids a month off since he's got his own Call of Duty game at home. It was the same with the principal." Johnny replied.

"And what will happn if Dark Vegan plans on taking over the Earth?" Susan asked.

"He has his own game and is too addicted to conquer the world as of right now."

"I wonder why?"

()()()()()

In Dark Vegan's home, Dark Vegan is too busy playing the Call of Duty game. He didn't noticed that his daughter Jillian walked into his room.

"Dad! Dinner's ready." Jillian yelled.

"Well I'm kinda busy here sweetheart!" Dark Vegan replied.

"We're having toast for dinner."

"Toast? I love toast. I'm coming."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Brad, Pantsy, Horace and Harold were playing multiplayer on the Call of Duty game. Brad's soldier shot Bling-Bling Boy's soldier.

"Hey no fair!" Bling-Bling Boy cried through word chat. "You have cheat codes on your side!"

"Yeah Brad!" Brad said through word chat. "By the way, is is there a Al C. Holic online?"

"Let me see. Is anyone here an Alcoholic? An alcoholic?"

Everyone but Brad said yes through chat.

"Hey! Wait a minute! You're that same prank caller who uses the phone. Now your chatting online. Oh, you're so DEAD you white bellied jackass!"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"This!"

Bling-Bling Boy's soldier was strangling Brad's soldier. As Bling-Bling Boy's soldier was strangling Brad's soldier, Pantsy was strangling Brad for eating the last chocolate chip cookie. Brad's soldier, and Brad himself were strangled at the same time.

"Eh forget it. I'll deal with you later."

Bling-Bling Boy then logged off.

()()()()()

As for Gunther, he is too busy playing Call of Duty game that he's unable to help Kick with his stunts since Kick's ironically the only boy who didn't get addicted to the game. He also didn't notice that his mother walks inside his room and caused him to stop the game.

"Gunther dear, why don't you go play outside with Kick instead of playing this addictive game?" Helga suggested. "The game's not good for our Viking heritage."

But Gunther is too busy to hear what Helga said.

"I give up. Magnus!"

Magnus came into the room. "Yes dear?"

"Gunther won't stop playing that evil video game!"

"I'll deal with him right now! GUNTHER!"

Gunther paused the game and looks at his father. "Yeah?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PIECE OF CRAP? IS IT GOOD FOR OUR VIKING HERITAGE? BWA!"

"Um..."

"LET ME TRY IT!"

But once Magnus grabs the remote, he starts to become too addicted to the game.

"I SAY THIS GAME'S FUN! BWA, BWA!" Magnus cried happily.

"God dammit!" Helga cried angrily. "Now Magnus' addicted as well. I'm outta here."

()()()()()

Meanwhile at Ronaldo's place, Ronaldo was playing the game with Harold, Brad, Johnny, Hugh, Mouth, Pantsy, Horace, Magnus and Gunther on computer. Ronaldo seemed to do better than the other players as nerds have an eagle eye and know how far and strong a bullet can be in the game.

"Take that you worthless bunch of jackasses!" Ronaldo cried triumply. "Maybe someday you'll have science on your side."

"Whatever." Johnny said through word chat boredly. "I'm outta here for now. The game's killing me."

Johnny logged off and went to the lab for a break.

"Ha ha! You'll never defeat the Dark One." Ronaldo cried triumply again. "Ha ha!"

But all of a sudden, the screen changes into a red screen.

"What is that thing?"

"You'll do as I say slave." said a voice. "Repeat after me! I_ will obey and serve Wacko forever!"_

"I ... will ... obey ... and serve ...Wacko ... forever."

Then the screen changes into a small yet crazy man. It was Wacko the evil toymaker of Porkbelly.

"Now keep on saying that sentence until you're fully brainwashed is that understood?" Wacko told Ronaldo.

"Yes master."

"Oh goody! Now with all men in my control, I will finally get a date with a lovely woman and no one can stop me! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!"

()()()()()

The next day, Ms. Chicarelli decided to go for a walk with Oskar and what they didn't see was an army of mind controlled men as if they were brainless zombies.

"AHHH! THE MEN ARE GOING TO OVERTHROW THE WOMEN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Ms. Chicarell cried.

A few hours later, Mellowbrook is being invaded and populated by Wacko's mind controlled men. Most of the women (and old people) had to find sanctuary in their houses and keep all of Wacko's men outside. As for the women in the Buttowski household, they baricated the entire house. Among the people inside the house is Honey, Kendall, Ms. Chicarelli, Susan, Mary, Lila, Grandpa Archie (he's an old man), Dukey (cause he's a dog), Brianna, Wacky Jackie, January, Selena, Hallow, Avery, Annabelle, Leshawna, Sally and Kick (cause again he's the only boy not addicted to the game.)

"What are we to do?" Jackie cried.

"Don't panic Jackie." Susan spoke calmly. "We'll find a way to return this town to normal."

"Yeah but there's something that I don't really get at all." Kendall said.

"What?" Everyone spoke at the same time.

"If all men were addicted to the game made by a insane loonatic called Wacko, they how come Kick isn't addicted to the game in the first place?"

"Yeah. That's something we don't know." Mary replied.

"We may never know." Grandpa Archie said in a low voice.

"I say we snap those men out of their trance!" Kick said in a determined voice.

"I second that!" Hallow cried.

"So do I cause I want my Johnny back!" Dukey cried.

Honey eyed Dukey with suspicious. "Did that dog just talk?"

Susan, Mary, January, Selena, Hallow, Kick, Dukey, Kendall and Jackie only answered, "No."

"Relax. I know he does." Grandpa Archie spoke.

Susan and Mary look at Grandpa Archie. "You do?"

"I've met him before in Area 51 but it was a long story to tell."

"Okay now back to the plan." Dukey spoke. "What are the things that video game addicts hate most?"

"Homework, school, chores, outside world and really cold water." Kick replied.

"Cold water?"

"Got soaked when I was addicted to video games once."

"Oh."

"Now we need to load a lot of cold water in the water guns. Give me some time to do that." Honey said.

Susan and Mary also joined as well. "We'll help."

"And we don't want to hurt the men like we did to the Japanese and the Germans back in my days." Grandpa Archie warned.

"Whatever."

()()()()()

Outside the house, the mind controlled men are scattering around town as if they were zombies. As for Wacko, he is enjoying a date with a hot babe.

"Life is good." Wacko said looking amused. "And there are no men fighting against me for girls. Am I such a clever man?"

"You sure are my man." the hot babe replied.

"Not so fast Wacko!" cried Kick.

"Who?" Wacko asked.

Kick Buttowski and the remaining people of Mellowbrook aim their water guns at Wacko which causes the hot babe to retreat.

"A shrimp boy leading a revolution?" Wacko mocked. "I though I took care of all the young boys and men!"

"Well first of all, I'm no shrimp!" Kick replied. "And second of all, I'm not affected by the game that you created!"

Everyone gasp at this.

"How did Kick know about that?" Susan asked.

_As Kick installs the video car that Brad stole from Susan and Mary, he notices a symbol on the game. It is a large W with a golden crown on it._

_"Wacko." Kick muttered angrily._

"_Hey dillweed! Are you done yet?" Brad asked._

_"Almost done Brad."_

_"Well get a move on!"_

_Kick finished installing the video card and suddenly the game was on. Brad was very happy at the sight of the really cool graphics._

_"Sweet graphics!" Brad said like a spoiled child._

_"Whatever. I'm outta here." Kick replied in a bored tone._

_"By the way dillweed, since when were you so smart on computers?"_

_"Not telling ya."_

_Then Kick left the room._

"He knows it." Grandpa Archie said.

"Well you're not getting the men back! MWA HA HA HA HA!" Wacko screamed.

But he got soaked big time! "OW! It's freezing!"

As Wacko cries about his suit ruined by water, everyone else soak all the men with wet water and change them back to normal.

"What the hell happened here?" Brad asked.

"Let's just say that you've learned a valuable lesson here." Grandpa Archie replied.

But the war ain't over yet.

"You may have won this round shrimp boy, but I'll be back!" Wacko yelled at Kick.

Just then, Wacko's phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hi is my friend Amanda here?" Brad asked. "Last name Hugandkiss."

"Just a second. Amanda Hugandkiss. Hey I'm looking for a man to hug and kiss! Why can't I find a man to hug and kiss?"

"Maybe your standards are too high!" Johnny mocked.

The townspeople laugh.

"Oh *_BLEEP!*_" Wacko cried angrily. "If I find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!"

"Well you're gonna have to wait since you're going to prison again!" Johnny replied.

"Oh _*BLEEP*"_

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Wacko spends most of his time in prison as a the bartender. Just then, the phone rang.

"Maximun Security Prison here." Wacko answered.

"Hi I'm looking for my friend Ms. Tinkles. First name Iwanna." the caller replied.

"Just a second. Iwanna Tinkle! Okay everyone put down your beers. I want a tinkle!"

The prisoners laugh out loud.

"Listen here you blondie jackass! When I get out of this prison, I'm gonna mail your brain to Egypt!"

Then Wacko hung up.

At the Buttowski household, the caller is revealed to be Johnny and Brad is right beside him laughing his head off.

"Nice work dude." Brad complimented Johnny/

"Thanks and it's too funny." Johnny replied.


	12. Best Valentine's Day Ever

_**Best Valentine's Day Ever**_

Valentine's Day. The only day where lovers confess their love to one another. But it only came once a year on February 14th.

It was however a typical yet normal day at Mellowbrook Elementary School. But, today's Valentine's Day and every student in the school are running around confessing their love to one another before the day ends. However, a girl with the big glasses and the freaky smile is even more excited about this day. This is the day when Wacky Jackie, the girl with big glasses and freaky smile makes her attempt to win the heart of an awesome daredevil known as, Kick Buttowski the suburban daredevil.

"Today's the day I shall make Kick my valentine," Jackie said as she walks through the hallways. "No one can steal my man today."

But as Jackie walks through the hallways, she saw Janet receiving a bouquet of roses. Thinking that Kick must've given the roses to Janet, Jackie storms towards Janet and gives her a deadly glare.

"Who give you those flowers?" Janet asked coldly at Janet. "Did Kick give them to you?"

"No Wacky Jackie," Janet replied looking annoyed. "Johnny gave them to me, not Kick. Besides, Kick _doesn't _believe in love more than Johnny does."

"Well he will be soon though. Mark my words!"

Then Jackie storms off.

()()()()()

Jonni West is outside doing karate moves when Bumper shows up with a black rose in his hand.

"A black rose for my Black Rose," Bumper said as he gives Jonni a black rose.

"Why that's sweet of you Bumper," Jonni said sweetly. "Where did you get the black rose anyway?"

_Bumper is at the flower shop when he really should be at History Class right now. It's Valentine's Day and Bumper really wanted to give Jonni something to show her how much he loves her. There are a lot of pretty flowers to choose from. Bumper had insisted on going with the roses, but he felt that red roses won't do to impress Jonni. Just then, something caught Bumper's eyes._

_Standing still in a priceless vase. An exotic form of life in the sunlight. A rare and very mystic black rose._

"_A black rose," Bumper spoke. "This'll totally impress Jonni. After all, she is Black Rose."_

_As Bumper tries to get closer to the black rose, a clerk slaps his hand away._

"_Ow! What gives loser?" Bumper yelled at the clerk._

"_This black rose is worth millions you little wrench," the clerk replied angrily. "You'll destroy such a magnificent life form."_

"_No I won't," Bumper protested. "I only wanted to give it to my girl. Besides, it's Valentine's Day."_

"_I don't care if today's Valentine's Day or that you want to show your girl how much you loved her. You are not getting your hobo hands on that black rose. And that's final."_

"_Oh really?"_

_Bumper angrily walks right up to the clerk and grabs his collar and lifts him into the air. He then shows the clerk his fist which scared the clerk a bit._

"_If you don't want to be a dead meat mister," Bumper threatened. "I'd suggested that you give me the black rose. Is that clear?"_

"_Never!" the clerk replied._

"_You asked for it."_

_And with that, Bumper punches the clerk so hard that the clerk was sent flying into the air. With the clerk gone, Bumper gently wraps the black rose in white cloth and heads back to school._

"Umm … found it," Bumper answered to Jonni's question. "Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day."

This made Jonni happy as she happily hugs Bumper.

()()()()()

Mouth is at the Art room making a Valentine's Day card for Sissy. Ever since Johnny broke up with Sissy to be with Janet a few months ago back in Porkbelly, Mouth is madly in love with Sissy since the day the citizens of Porkbelly moved in to live in Mellowbrook.

"I wonder if this card will impress Sissy," Mouth said as he did the finishing touches. "Sissy is a feisty girl to meet."

As soon as Mouth finishes his card, Kick shows up and is holding a photo.

"What's in your hand Kick?" Mouth asked.

"Nothing," Kick replied as he quickly hid the photo in his pockets. "So what are you up to Mouth?"

"I'm making a card for Sissy."

"Well that's … nice. Got any more of those papers?"

"They're at the back of the room."

Kick nods as he went to the back of the room to get some red and pink paper.

"What are you working on anyway?" Mouth asked.

"It's a secret." Kick replied.

()()()()()

Avery is outside taking a sip from the hippie hookah that she found in Grandpa Archie's attic a few days ago. She is very careful not to get too insane and too addicted. She is also aware that the school won't allow smoking in school so whenever there's a spare time, Avery would go out far from the boundaries of the school and sip away her hookah while listening to the Beatles. What she didn't notice is that she's being watched. Hiding in the bushes is Johnny who is secretly spying on Avery.

To what Johnny sees in her, Avery is a few times better and prettier than Janet. Not because of her Mexican beauty, but her charming and spunky personality of a real Buttowski. But Johnny knew he cannot impress Avery as she is born in a family of great people such as hippies, war veterans, ancient pharaohs and superstar daredevils. Well minus Brad and Harold as both of them are not in those categories but are still Buttowskis. Johnny will have to admit that every member of the Buttowski family do fall into some of those categories. Grandpa Archie is a war veteran; Honey used to be a superstar daredevil, Kick is initially a daredevil, but ironically falls into the category of being an ancient pharaoh (due to his knowledge of Egypt thanks to Jules), a war veteran (thanks to Grandpa Archie) and a hippie (thanks to Mona). Sally is just the same but do falls into the category of being a hippie as well as Avery who also falls into the category of being a daredevil and war veteran. Only Brad, Kyle, Brianna, Harold and Phyllis have not yet fallen into those categories but did start up their new categories though.

As Johnny watches Avery, Bling-Bling Boy sneaks up behind him.

"Hello Jonathon," Bling-Bling Boy spoke to Johnny which made him jump.

"What the hell Bling-Bling?" Johnny barked. "Can't you see that I'm spying?"

"I know. You're spying on that Buttowski girl."

"How did you know she's a Buttowski?"

"You think I would not know the other members of the Buttowski family when I first met Brad?"

"Good point."

"Anyway, I can tell that you're _in love _with her."

"What? No I'm not."

"At your age Jonathon, it's the same thing. But being a bit nice here today since it's Valentine's Day, I'll help you win Buttowski's heart."

"Okay first of all, she has a name. It's Avery."

"Oh right. Well we better get a move on to win Avery's heart. And I know how."

()()()()()

Back in Art room, Kick is working away making a Valentine's Day card before the day ends. No one knows who will be Kick's valentine as Kick really _doesn't _believe in love. While working, Jackie walks inside the room and is surprised to see Kick there. Maybe he's making a card for her. Jackie jumps with glee but her happiness sank when Kick exits the room and not noticing her. Maybe the card wasn't for her after all. What it the card's for someone else that Jackie doesn't know about? This made Jackie jealous as she leaves the room to find the girl that Kick would've sent the card to.

()()()()()

Avery is about to go inside when Johnny accidentally bumps into her.

"Sorry about that," Johnny spoke to Avery. "I hope I didn't ruin your hookah."

"It's alright Johnny," Avery replied. "I'm not that addictive."

"Yeah … well … wanna have some … y'know … alone time before the day ends?"

Before Avery can speak, she saw Bling-Bling Boy making kissing noises. Johnny remembers that Bling-Bling Boy is behind him.

"Ahem," Johnny spoke.

"Check," Bling-Bling Boy said as he quickly leaves.

()()()()()

Kendall is at the library reading books alone. She didn't care much about Valentine's Day since she is usually, lonely. But it would've been great if Ronaldo have not broken up with her a few months ago. But now she's lonely and there's no boy in school to love her. Most of the kids find her mean and bossy though. If there's one person who truly loves her, it'd be Kick since he did have a crush on her but is quick to deny that.

Of course she and Kick have started off very rough by hating each other due to their personalities and interests but, things have changed between the two of them. They have just recently become friends but they could be more than just friends if they just confess their love to one another. But Kendall can tell that Kick would never confess his love to her. Not in a million years that is for sure.

()()()()()

"Look I know this may sound crazy but," Johnny spoke nervously to Avery. "I think I liked you. A lot."

Before Avery could speak again, she saw Bling-Bling Boy sticking out behind a nearby tree.

"I can see you Eugene," Avery spoke.

"Do you mind speaking up?" Bling-Bling Boy asked. "I don't want to miss all the juicy bits."

But that made him getting hit by a branch thrown by Avery. Afterwards, Avery left to do some unfinished business.

"That's real smart of you Eugene," Johnny barked at Bling-Bling Boy.

"Like my former love Susan?" Bling-Bling replied as he makes a fart. "Me like beans."

"Now Avery's gonna hate me now because of that."

()()()()()

Jackie searches through the hallways until she sees Sissy with her card. Knowing that Kick must've given the card to Sissy, Jackie walks up to Sissy.

"Who give you that card?" Jackie asked.

"Christopher," Sissy replied. "AKA Mouth."

"Well for a second, I though Kick gave you that card."

"Don't you think that you're … overreacted about this? I mean you are wacky and you are stalking him."

"Is that an insult?"

"No. It's a statement."

Jackie then leaves Sissy alone and saw Jonni with a black rose in her hand.

"Who gave you that rose flame girl?" Jackie asked Jonni.

"Bumper gave it to me," Jonni replied. "You'd think I would cheat on him for Kick? I don't think so."

()()()()()

The day is about to end and Kendall still doesn't have her valentine. As Kendall cries at the steps, Kick walks up to her and gives her a sympathetic look.

"What is it Clarence?" Kendall spoke upon seeing Kick.

"I … uh … wanted to give you this," Kick replied as he gives Kendall a card that he made.

Oh the card it reads:

_**Roses are red**_

_**Violets are blue**_

_**Your yearn to learn is awesome**_

_**And so are you on Valentine's Day**_

"You made this for me?" Kendall asked after reading. "But why?"

"Cause you're the girl I cared most." Kick replied. "Isn't that what you wanted on Valentine's Day?"

Kendall is speechless for a moment. Just then, she threw out a hug and hugs Kick.

"I love you Kick," Kendall confessed.

"Same here," Kick confessed as well.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Avery is sipping from her hippie hookah when Johnny shows up with a card he made just for her.

"Happy Valentine's Day Avery," Johnny said as he gives Avery the card.

"That's really nice Johnny," Avery spoke. "But does Janet know about this?"

"Know about what?"

"That you're cheating on her for me? I mean, she and I have a really big conflict that is worse than my conflict with Jackie."

"Who cares? It'll be our little secret."

"I can live with that. Happy Valentine's Day. Even though you don't _believe _in love thought."

"Good point."

As Johnny and Avery lean forward kiss, Bling-Bling Boy is hiding behind a nearby tree.

"Are you two going to make out now?" Bling-Bling Boy asked before getting hit by branches thrown by Johnny and Avery.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Jackie is running through town to give Kick a Valentine's Day card. However, she stops in her tracks when she saw Kick.

"Oh Kick," Jackie cried. "Your valentine is here!"

But as Jackie ran closer to Kick, she is shocked to see Kick with Kendall. She cried so hard that she ran away in tears.

"WAH!"


	13. Ramps of Horror 1

_**(Author's Note: For sure this is not a part of the continuity of the fanfiction story and neither will be Widowmaker's Winter Wonderland. It's like a spin-off.)**_

It is Halloween in Mellowbrook as most of the kids went out trick-or-treating while some attended scary parties. However, a group of kids are dressed up and are about to attend a scary party. The group is consisted of Johnny, Avery, Kick, Kendall, Bumper and Jonni. Johnny wore a cowboy costume, Avery wore a Beatles costume, Kick wore a mummy costume (and will soon be a were-mummy once the moon rises), Kendall wore a witch costume, Bumper wore a chainsaw killer with the hockey mask and a hook costume and Jonni wore a vampire costume. As they walk off to the party, Gordon Gibble, dressed as Iron Man blocked their way.

"Well, well, well if it isn't a group of losers," Gordon sneered at the group. "The costume store wants the lame classic costumes back. It time for the newly, stylish costumes to be popular! West Mellowbrook REPRESENTS!"

The group got angry at Gordon, so angry that Bumper sliced Gordon in half.

"Nobody messes with the classics," Bumper told Gordon's sliced body. "All the new costumes that we saw are for whiny, spoiled brats like you."

"Yeah," the others echoed.

As the group continue waking, they saw a haunted mansion up on the hill. It was the Van Der Deth Mansion.

"This place is super creepy," Kendall spoke.

"What's the matter Kendall?" Johnny spoke to Kendall before making chicken impressions. "Afraid of the haunted mansion?"

"Me? As if Jonathon. I'm not scared."

"Oh really? Then how about you go there and find out."

"I'm not doing it alone."

"Oh yes you are."

"No she's not," Kick replied while defending Kendall.

"I know how to settle this," Avery spoke. "All of us are going into that mansion."

"Say what?" Johnny spoke.

"What's the matter Johnny? Not man enough to check out the mansion?"

"What me? No way."

"Great."

"I don't think it'll end well," Bumper warned Jonni.

"Same here." Jonni replied.

As Kick, Kendall, Bumper, Jonni, Johnny and Avery walk towards the mansion and took one isty bisty step towards the door, a ghost appeared before the kids and they screamed in horror but they eventually stopped when they realized that it was only the owner of the Van Der Deth Mansion - Mary Van Der Deth.

"Happy Halloween kids," Mary said to the group. "Are you here for trick-or-treating?"

"We're on our way to the scary party but we decided to stop here for a moment," Kick replied.

"Why that's sound's mighty nice to be here. While you're here, care for you kids to hear my scary stories?"

"Sure," Kendall replied. "What story are we hearing first?"

"This story is about a doll that tries to kill an average father, I call this one ..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Father and the Doll Without Mercy<strong>_

It was Brianna's 9th birthday and the entire Buttowski family (including the chatterbox cousin Kyle) are celebrating it. As Brianna blows out the candles, Honey had an annoucement.

"Okay everyone," Honey started. "It's time to open Brianna's present."

Everyone nodded and gathered around to see Brianna open the presents. So far she had recieved a magical wand (from Kyle), a Teena Sometimes helmet (from Kick), a bag full of jellybeans (from Brad), lots of money (from Grandpa who said that he found it from the government but he didn't earn it nor he did he need it) and a sparkling pink dress (from Honey), but have not recieved a gift from Harold.

"Where your gift Harold?" Honey asked a nervous Harold.

"Oh," Harold replied nervously. "I'll get it right away sweetie. Anything for my precious daughter."

So Harold grabbed the car keys and his wallet and dashed to his car, Monique. He started Monique and hurried off to the mall only to realized that the mall was closed.

"Aw shoot," Harold pounted. "How am I supposed to get a present for my little girl?"

Just then, Harold saw an orange wagon parked in between the parking line and could see that the driver was pounting as well.

"Oh man," the driver pounted. "The mall's closed and how am I suppose to get something for Susan and Mary?"

So Harold walked out of Monique and walked towards the orange wagon. He could see that the driver was crying.

"Are you having the same problem as I do?" Harold asked.

The driver looked up and saw Harold's face.

"Is that you Harold?" the driver asked.

"Uh yeah do you know me?"

"Well yeah we used to go the school together."

"Hugh? As in Hugh Test?"

"Yeah?"

"Well it's good to see you ol' buddy! What brings you here?"

"Well it's my twin daughters' birthday and I haven't got a present for them yet."

"Same here. It's my little girl's birthday and I also didn't get her present yet."

"Well now that the mall's closed, what do we do?"

Just then, a little man with a large white beard and a red turban walked towards the fathers.

"I see you are in desparate to buy your daughters some good presents," the little man said.

"Who are you?" Hugh asked in panic.

"Do not fear my good man. I am Tumbleweed the owner of my shop, PixieJunk."

"Do you have good things for our daughters?" Harold asked.

"Indeed I do. Follow me to the outskirts and you'll see my little shop."

Harold and Hugh nodded as they get into their cars and started following Tumbleweed until they came to a little, run down shop. It was not in the best conditions.

"Enter my little shop," Tumbleweed ordered.

The fathers nodded and followed Tumbleweed inside. What they saw were scary antiques and old toys that children won't play anymore.

"And now for the presents," Tumbleweed said. "Mr. Test."

Hugh nervously waked towards the confident Tumbleweed.

"Since your daughters are interested in science and technology, I give you two ray guns will has the ability to end all evil, but you must use it wisely."

Hugh took the guns and walked out of the shop waving goodbye to Harold.

"Mr. Buttowski," Tumbleweed said once again as Harold walked towards him. "Since your daughter is interested in pretty girly stuff and loves to play dolls, I give you the Teena Sometimes doll."

"A Teena Sometimes doll?" Harold asked. "I thought they were sold out."

"Well let's just say that I found it in the streets. But you must beware of one thing. That doll is cursed."

"Cursed? Like that's going to happen."

"But it also comes with a free yogurt."

"That's good news."

"It's cursed by the way."

"That's bad."

"But it comes with a free kitty."

"That's good news."

"The kitty's cursed."

"That's bad."

"And it also comes with a free meatloaf."

"That's good."

"But the meatloaf's cursed."

Harold said nothing.

"That's bad news." Tumbleweed spoke again.

"Can I go home now?" Harold asked.

()()()()()

Meanwhile at the Test resident, Hugh walked inside only to see Susan and Mary jumping up with joy with his wife Lila and his reckless son Johnny following behind.

"What did you get for us?" shouted the girls.

"Now. now girls," Hugh said as he closed the door. "I had some difficulties getting what you want so I bought each of you the ray gun which had the ability to end all evil."

"Ray guns? You're the best dad ever!"

()()()()()

However at the Buttowski resident, Harold came right through the door which sends Kyle flying up to the second floor.

"Well sweetie," Honey said. "What present did you bought."

Harold gave the box to Brianna who opens it like a spoiled brat and cried with joy as she saw the Teena Sometimes doll. Brianna pulls the doll out of the box and pulled the string.

"I'm Teena Sometimes," the doll said to Brianna. "And I love you very much!"

"Oh daddy this is the best birthday party ever!" Brianna cried as she hugged Harold tightly.

()()()()()

The next day while the kids are at school, Harold had a day off and is playing with the Teena Sometimes doll while watching the news. He thoughted that he might have a little fun with the doll so he pulls the string.

"I'm Teena Somethimes," the doll said to Harold. "And I don't like you."

"Heh, heh, heh," Harold laughed. "You're funny."

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Ha, ha, ha. I didn't even pulled the string."

Just then, the doll's head turned to face Harold with an insane look on its face.

"I said I'm going to kill you!" the doll shouted once again. "You Harold Buttowski!"

"Oh yeah?" Harold said as he threw the doll to the wall. "With what?"

The doll got up on its own and pulled out a knife. Then it laughs like crazy. Harold screamed in horror.

"AH!" Harold screamed as the doll walked closer to him. "Get away from me!"

However, as soon as Honey entered the room, the doll reverts back to normal, but Harold shakes in fear.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Honey asked Harold.

"T-t-the doll," Harold cried as he pointed at the doll. "It tried to kill me!"

"You must be having an imagination sweetie. The doll didn't just have a mind on its own."

Then Honey left.

"Don't leave me here." Harold whined.

()()()()()

The next day, the Test family are visiting the Buttowski family. Susan and Mary spend some time with Brianna while Johnny and his dog Dukey spend the entire day with Kick and Gunther. And while Lila and Honey are talking in the kitchen, Hugh is busy teaching Brad how to be a good kid while waiting for Harold who is taking a bath.

Harold is humming peacefully while washing his body until all of a sudden, the doll reared its girly head from the water. It is holding a harpoon.

"Lights out," the doll said evilly.

Harold screamed as he jerked out of the tub and ran downstairs to the outside naked. Lila and Honey saw that and both blushed out of embarasement.

"What has gotten with your husband?" Lila asked Honey.

"It must be his imagination again," Honey replied.

Outside, most of the neighbours stopped at what they're doing and saw a naked Harold running across the streets.

"What's gotten into him?" everyone asked.

()()()()()

The next, next day, Harold decided to fight back. He had figured out from Susan and Mary that the only place the doll is last seen would be in Kick's room talking to Kick's doll Billy Stumps.

_I've got you now dollie. _Harold thoughted evilly.

Whilte the doll is distracted, Harold grabbed the doll and puts it in the sack full of Brad's dirty underwear. Then he ties the sack and placed it in the briefcase where he wraps it with tough chains. Then he walked out of Kick's room and into the garage where he puts the briefcase in the trunk of Monique and started the car to where he would get rid of the doll for a long time - the Bottomless Pit.

As he walked towards the edge of the pit, Harold threw the briefcase down to the pit.

_Goodbye forever dollie. _Harold thoughted. _It looks like my work here is done._

So Harold starts Monique and hurried home. What he did not noticed is that the doll hane mamaged to escape and is hiding under the car.

As Harold reaches home, the doll got out of its hiding place, jumped on top of him and covered his eyes.

"Guess who dorky," the doll said evilly.

"AH!" Harold screamed as he runs like crazy. "Get off of me!"

"You will die you bitch!"

"Help! The doll's trying to kill me!"

Honey saw this and was terrified. Harold was right all along. So she runs to the phone and tries to call the company but there was no answer. Then she remembered that Susan and Mary are geniuses so she called them for help.

"Hello Lila," Honey called through the phone. "I need your daughters right away! The doll is killing my husband!"

()()()()()

A few hours later, Lila, Susan and Mary showed up and saw the doll trying to pull the tongue out of Harold's mouth. Mary reacts quickly and pulls out her ray gun. She aims it at the doll and all of the sudden, the doll lets go of the tongue and went to its original state.

"We're such geniuses," Susan and Mary exclaimed.

Harold pulls the string and was at least surprised at the change.

"I'm Teena Sometimes," the doll said. "And I love you so much."

Harold responds by hugging the doll like a teddy bear. Everthing's back to normal.

* * *

><p>"And so the doll turned back to normal and the father doesn't have to worry about getting killed." Mary finished her story. "And the fact that the doll is still dating the Billy Stumps dolls."<p>

"Cool story," Johnny replied. "But I have another scary story to tell. It's about a vampire who sucks the blood out of a boy and his friend will do anything to slay the head vampire and save the boy. This one's called..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Kick's Dracula<strong>_

It was a typical night in the town of Mellowbrook. While Kick and Gunther are eating at the BattleSnax and talking about the next stunt, there was a news report on TV.

"We interupt this program to give you shocking news!" the reporter on TV said. "There had been several murders on every store and the police had a conclusion that it must've been a vampire attack. Tell us what you saw Glen?"

"Well there was a vampire in my store and he's sucking the blood out of my customers!" Glen paniced. "He was a small, chubby kid with blond hair, a snouty nose, square glasses, and he is wearing a red and yellow robe and red boots! He also claims to be a physics genius!"

"Ronaldo!" Gunther and Kick said at the same time.

"If anyone have seen him," the tv reporter said once again. "Please contact the police."

"Who would've thought that Ronaldo is behind this?" Gunther asked Kick.

"I have no idea why," Kick replied.

()()()()()

Later in the Buttowski resident, there was a knock at the door.

"Get the door!" Brad shouted from his room.

Kick decided to go and get the door. As he opens the door, he saw a green-skined man wearing the mailman outfit. He also had red eyes and a white mustache.

"Mail for Kick Buttowski," said the mailman.

Kick takes the mail and the mailman leaves only to get chased by Oskar the dog.

"Who send you the mail?" Honey asked eagerly.

Kick opens the envelope and pulled out a pink sheet of paper. He reads it carefully.

_**Clarence Francis 'Kick' Buttowski,**_

_**You are invited for a midnight dinner at Von Hazel Manor on the top of Widowmaker's Peak.**_

_**You are not allowed to bring anyone including your family.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Ronaldo Von Hazel.**_

"An invite to a midnight dinner?" Honey said after reading the letter.

"Can I go there mom?" Kick begged.

"Well I don't know Kick."

"Please?"

"Oh alright Kick, but be back safely and don't get drunk along the way!"

()()()()()

However at the Perkins Estate, Kendall also got the invite from Ronaldo.

"Can I go there daddy?" Kendall begged her father.

Mr. Perkins thoughted for a moment and then had the answer.

"Of course you may go," Mr. Perkins said to Kendall.

()()()()()

Later at Widowmaker's Peak, Kendall was the first one to come to Von Hazel Manor. What Kendall did not expect was that Kick is approaching the entrance as well.

"What are you doing here Clarence?" Kendall asked rudely.

"I've got an invite to come here Kendall," Kick replied.

"You got an invite too?"

"Yeah."

"Where's you're proof?"

Kick went to his pockets and pulled out the pink papar to show Kendall proof. Kendall was at least sastified until all of a sudden, the grand doors opened and a person walked out. It was Ronaldo.

"Welcome to Von Hazel Manor," Ronaldo greeted Kick and Kendall. "Please come in."

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Kick whispered.

"Oh quit your whining Clarence," Kendall whispered back.

"Well I see we're off to a good start," Ronaldo said as he gave Kendall and Kick a tour around the manor. "So my dear Kendall, what do you do for a living?"

"Well I mostly do a lot of schoolwork and get excellent grades," Kendall started. "I'm am considered to be the A-Type."

"I'm quite impressed my dear. And you Kick?"

"I do a lot of stunts," Kick replied cockly.

"I see. Well let's get on with the dinner shall we?"

Kick and Kendall nodded as they followed Ronaldo to the dinning hall. The dinning hall was very big and there are a lot of portraits. Ronaldo motions Kendall and Kick to sit down for a feast. When all three are full, Ronaldo escorts Kendall and Kick to the guest rooms for a nice little nap.

"Sweet dreams," Ronaldo said to each guest.

Then Ronaldo disappears.

()()()()()

A few minutes later, Kick was awaken by a worried Kendall.

"What?" Kick asked sleeply.

"Keep your voice down Clarence," Kendall warned. "There's something wrong with Ronaldo."

"What? The fact that he is quite the perfect gentleman?"

"No you idiot. Something is seriouslt wrong with Ronaldo."

"Like what?"

"Do you remember seeing something strange lately?"

_"And so if we must save the planet," Ronaldo blabbed on as Kick and Kendall followed him. "We must always keep our hands away from our face to avoid getting the common cold."_

_Kick sighed in boredom as Kendall listened to Ronaldo. Just then, Kick saw something very strange. As Ronaldo walked past the big mirror, he could see that Ronaldo had no reflection._

_"Weird," Kick said._

_"Did you say something Buttowski?" Ronaldo asked._

_"Nothing."_

_"Okay then."_

"What I remembered is that Ronaldo's reflction didn't show up in the mirror," Kick responded to Kendall. "I think Ronaldo's a vampire."

"Oh don't be so childish Clarence," Kendall said. "How can you possibly think that Ronaldo's a vampire?"

"Let's look around the place and find out."

"Fine. Hand me the candle."

()()()()()

Later, Kick and Kendall are searching through the entire building in hopes of finding answers but to no avail.

"Oh well," Kendall said finally. "We've searched the entire manor and there are no proofs that Ronaldo's a vampire."

"There has to be some place that we haven't looked yet," Kick replied as he leans over a wall. He didn't noticed that his elbow pushed the brick futher and the wall spins making Kick disappear.

"A moving wall?" Kendall wondered. "How fascinating."

"Let's see what the stairs lead to," Kick said as he followed the stairs.

So Kick and Kendall followed the stairs until they came to a large room filled with coffins. At the center was a table with a strange book on it.

"Let's see what's the strange book about," Kendall said as she opens the book while Kick stands behind her.

All of a sudden, the coffins opened by itself. Kick started to shiver in fear while holding Kendall tightly.

"Stop shivering Clarence!" Kendall demamded while her eyes are still glued to the book.

Then dead people started coming out of the coffins. Kick shivers even more.

"Will you stop it Clarence!" Kendall demanded once more. "I'm trying to read!"

"V-v-vampires!" Kick yelled finally.

"What vampires?"

"All around us!"

Kendall turned around and realized that Kick was right. There were vampires everywhere.

"RUN!" Kendall screamed as she and Kick ran up to the stairs. Kendall made it out safely but Kick trips and falls back down only to get captured by vampires. Just then, a piglike bat flew towards Kick and morphed into a human being. It was Ronaldo.

"Well if it isn't Kick Buttowski?" Ronaldo sneered evilly. "Light's out."

Kick screamed in horror as Ronaldo bites his neck.

Meanwhile, Kendall rushed to the main entrance only to be blocked by Kick's parents and her parents as well.

"Where's Kick?" Honey asked Kendall.

"Ronaldo's a vampire!," Kendall screamed. "He's got Clarence!"

"What are you talking about Kendall dear?" said Ronaldo as he and a very pale Kick walked towards the parents and Kendall. "Kick is right here with me all along."

"Hello mother, father, Mr. and Mrs. Perkins," Kick said as if he was in a trance.

"But Ronaldo's a vampire!" Kendall cried. "Do you even see the bite marks on Clarence's neck?"

"She must be dreaming," Mrs. Perkins said to Kick's parents. "I'm sure a good night's sleep will keep her from saying those crazy things towards other people."

Everyone agreed.

_This is hopeless. _Kendall thoughted in frustration.

()()()()()

Later at the Perkins Estate, Kendall is having sleeping difficulties. Just then there was a tap on her window. So Kendall got out of bed and pulled out the curtains. What she saw was Vampire Kick and behind him were children who have also become vampires.

"Come join us Kendall," Vampire Kick said. "It's fun being a vampire."

"Yeah," Vampire Gunther said. "You can stay up all night."

"I don't want to be a vampire!" Kendall cried.

"It's not like you have a choice," Vampire Kick responded as he shattered the window and grabbed a struggling Kendall. Kendall screamed as Vampire Kick was about to bite her neck. All of a sudden, Mr. Perkins came to Kendall's room and saw Vampire Kick. Vampire Kick morphs into the bat and flew off to the horizon.

"I think I know how to get Clarence back to normal," Kendall said.

"How?"

"By killing the head vampire - Ronaldo."

()()()()()

Later at Von Hazel Manor, Kendall sneaks inside to the room where they first encountered the vampires and saw Ronaldo sleeping like an angel in his golden coffin.

_It's time to end this. _Kendall thought as she placed the stake on Ronaldo's heart and hammered it but she accidentally hammered his stomach. So she repositioned the stake and then she kills Ronaldo.

Kendall was sastified as she walks out of the room hoping that things were back to normal.

()()()()()

The next day things weren't normal. Everyone had become vampires and Kendall learned the worst truth - Honey is the REAL head vampire.

* * *

><p>"So all the vampires in Mellowbrook devoured the girl and there were no survivors left," Johnny finished his story. "The end."<p>

"You're like the second worse storyteller ever Jonathon," Kendall told angrily at Johnny.

"Why second worst?"

"Trust me Johnny," Kick told him. "Ronaldo's the worst storyteller ever."

"I can live with that."

"I can tell a better story than that Jonathon," Kendall said. "This is about a girl who had a vision of her and the others dying in a plane explosion and uses it to save herself and others but Death comes back to them one by one. This is what I call ..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Final Destination<strong>_

It was a beautiful day for Ms. Fizpatrick and her class to go to Paris the City of Love on Flight 13, and a certain Kendall Perkins is even more excited if a certain daredevil Kick Buttowski doesn't interfere. And as the students get onto the plane, Kendall sits by the window behind Kick and Gunther who are sitting beside each other until all of a sudden, a certain Wacky Jackie who is with another geeky girl came by.

"Excuse me Kendall but could you find a different seat please?" Jackie pleaded Kendall.

"Why?" Kendall asked.

"Because my cousin Stacey and I want to sit together and there are only two seats left that aren't together and we need to be together."

"Let me guess. It's because the seats are separate?"

"Yeah and that we want to sit behind Kick and Gunther so we can uh spy on them."

Kendall reculantly stands up and lets Jackie and Stacey take her place. Kendall walks around the plane to find an extra seat only for it to be beside Mouth.

"Well," Mouth sneered as Kendall sat next to him. "What brings you here?"

"I have to move just so Jackie and her cousin can sit behind Clarence and Gunther for amusement," Kendall replied.

"Oh that's too bad for Kick and Gunther cause the trip takes about like 5 hours."

"Yeah that's too bad."

As Kendall rested her arms in the armplace, a screw came loose from the ceiling.

_A loose screw? _Kendall thoughted. _It's no big deal._

But Kendall was proven wrong. All of a sudden as the plane takes flight, there was a malfunction engine. The engines burst into flames and shattered into pieces. One of the pieces slices open the wall of the plane which sucks some of the passangers out into the open, killing them instantly by either a loss of oxygen, falling to the ground or getting suck to the engines and slicing them to pieces. Then the front of the plane burst into flames and killed all the passangers including Kick. The last thing Kendall saw was the huge flames coming towards her an Mouth.

"Hey Kendall!" cried a voice.

Kendall snaps out of a trace and saw Wacky Jackie and her cousin Stacey. It was weird. Kendall looked around and saw that everything's normal. She was still in her former seat.

"Excuse me Kendall but could you find a different seat please?" Jackie pleaded Kendall.

"Why?" Kendall asked.

"Because my cousin Stacey and I want to sit together and there are only two seats left that aren't together and we need to be together."

"Let me guess. It's because the seats are separate?"

"Yeah and that we want to sit behind Kick and Gunther so we can uh spy on them."

Kendall reculantly stands up and lets Jackie and Stacey take her place. Kendall walks around the plane to find an extra seat only for it to be beside Mouth.

"Well," Mouth sneered as Kendall sat next to him. "What brings you here?"

"I have to move just so Jackie and her cousin can sit behind Clarence and Gunther for amusement," Kendall replied.

"Oh that's too bad for Kick and Gunther cause the trip takes about like 5 hours."

"Yeah that's too bad."

As Kendall rested her arms in the armplace, a screw came loose from the ceiling. It was the same one from her nightmare.

_A loose screw? _Kendall thoughted. _Oh no! This nightmare is becoming a reality._

"Uh Kendall?" Mouth asked a nervous Kendall. "Are you okay?"

"Mouth," Kendall cried in a nervous way. "This plane is going to explode!"

"Are you okay? You don't look well."

Kendall got out of her seat and runs towards the front.

"EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE PLANE!" Kendall screamed to the passangers. "THE PLANE'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

But no one takes her seriously. Some were confused while some made fun of her and calling her a freak.

"What's wrong with her?" Gunther whispered to Kick. "Kendall's acting crazy."

"Ms. Kendall," Ms. Fitzpatrick said to an insane Kendall. "You need to get back to your seat and calm down this instant!"

"But people will die if they stay here longer," Kendall cried.

Just then, a security guard grabbed Kendall and takes her out of Flight 13. Ms. Fitzpatrick, Mr. Vickle, Principal Henry, Mouth, Jackie, Gunther, Kick and Ronaldo followed Kenall out of the plane until they stopped inside the airport. Just then the captain walked up to them in very firm mood.

"We will not have you people get aboard on the plan for being very distruptive," said the captain. "But I can assure you that only one of you will go there so who's gonna go?"

"I'll go," said Principal Henry. "I need to keep an eye on my students. Ms. Fitzpatrick. Keep Kendall in detention for a while until she can learn to behave properly."

Ms. Fitzpatrick nodded as Principal Henry and the captain walked back to Flight 13. Kendall was devasted. All of a sudden, the group heard an explosion outside. Flight 13 was destroyed and the passangers are dead.

"Kendall's right all along," Kick whispered to Gunther.

"How clitche." Gunther replied looking worried.

()()()()()

The next day, Mr. Vickle is busy cutting the rose bushes as usual until something bad is going to happen. A paper boy is throwing newspapers on every house and one of them accidentally hit Mr. Vickle in the eyes. Mr. Vickle walked backwards and accidentally started the lawn mower. The lawn mower automatically ride on its own, cutting the grass in the process. Then Mr. Vickle trips over a rock and landed behind his back. The lawn mower is at the opposite direction until a rock came by and hits the lever making the mower ride towards a stunned Mr. Vickle. It runs him over, shredding him in the process. A few seconds later, Mr. Vickle is dead.

()()()()()

Later at the funeral, Kendall and the others are devasted about the death of Mr. Vickle. Just then, an old, black man came by to talk about the accident in Flight 13.

"Death doesn't like to be cheated," said the old man. "It is intervening to kill everyone who was meant to die on that plane."

"Yeah right," Ronaldo said rudely. "Like that's ever going to happen."

()()()()()

The next day in the science lab, Ronaldo is busy working on an experiment when all of a sudden, a cup of coffee (from the teacher) was knocked out from the desk by the student and spilled all over the wires making the laser from another experiment rise up to a dangerous point. As Ronaldo was about to finish up his project, a random kid burst into the lab and accidentally activated the laser which went right into Ronaldo's chest.

"Ow my precious chest!" Ronaldo cried as he collasped to the floor feeling weak while clutching his bleeding chest.

Meanwhile at the library, Kendall is busy reading when all of a sudden, the librarian walked towards her telling her to deliver the science book to the lab.

Back at the lab, Ronaldo noticed a cloth at the table and tries to reach it unaware that a scissor was on top of it. Kendall walked inside the lab only to see a scissor fall directly at Ronaldo's heart, killing him instantly. Kendall screamed and runs to the nurse.

()()()()()

Meanwhile in the classroom, Ms. Fitzpatrick is reading while Jackie is cleaning up the board. What they did not noticed is that a malfunction helicopter crashed right through the wall and pinned both the teacher and the student to the wall, crushing them to death.

Just then, Gunther walked by and saw the dead bodies of Ms. Fitzpatrick and Jackie. He screams in horror and rushed out of the class and into the hallways only to slip on a spilled coffee and skid across the floor and hits a wall, breaking his neck. Most of the kids saw this and become horrified although Kick becomes even more horrified that his best friend died.

However in the library the same old man from the cementary watched as the kids huddled around Gunther's dead body.

_Only Clarence, Mouth and Kendall are left. _The old man thoughted.

()()()()()

The next, next day, Kick, Kendall and Mouth are tortured by Brad and Pantsy in revenge after they heard that Horace died in Flight 13 along with the others. Not far from them, a stop sign is starting to become loose from the strong wind. After another strong blow, the sigh came off and is staring to aim directly at the kids like a frisbee. Mouth saw this and pushed Kick and Kendall out of the way, thus letting the sigh chop his head off. Brad and Pantsy were terrified and ran away in horror.

Later, Kick and Kendall decided to read in the public library after realizing that it's all over. But then, a truck crashes through the wall, decapitating Kendall and pinning Kick to the bookshelf where it crushes him to death.

* * *

><p>"Well that is a mighty scary story my dear," Mary said to Kendall. "But I'm afraid we took longer than expected. I'm sorry you guys missed the party."<p>

"It's okay m'am," Kick replied. "We had a great time."

"Yeah," echoed the others.

"Why I'm touched at this. You kids are the nicest kids I ever met on Halloween."

"We know."

And then, the gang left to go home.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

It was midnight as everyone in Mellowbrook are fast asleep. Well it turns out that Freddy Krueger killed everyone in Mellowbrook in their sleep. MWA HA HA HA HA HA!


	14. Johnny Alternative 2

_**Johnny Alternative 2:**_

_When we last left the Cartoon Network show, Johnny and Dukey are bored in Porkbelly so they go to Susan and Mary's lab and get sucked into an unstable portal which led them to another universe called Leadbelly. Then they fell in love with two hot girls – Jonni West and Dutchie and they have a really great time. That is until Madame Mittens came. Johnny and Dukey tried to defend their loves but said the wrong thing and in the end, they almost kissed. But will Johnny and Dukey have that kind of adventure again in this episode? Read and find out._

"I'm bored!" Johnny cried as he hits his head onto a random tree. "There's nothing to do in Mellowbrook."

"Why there's always a thing to do in this town Jonathon," Ronaldo said gleefully as he walks by. "That is if you have science on your side."

"You're just saying it because Avery's not here and that she went on vacation and I'm bored without her. Is that it?"

"That and that Kendall's with Kick for a while. But the day could be pleasant."

"Doubtful."

"Well then let's go to the lab and find something interesting there," Dukey replied as he sat beside the same tree Johnny is knocking his head onto.

"Nah, my sisters won't let us go there," Johnny replied.

"Well it's not their lab; it's your cousin's lab."

"You're right. TO THE LAB!"

Johnny and Dukey ran as fast as they could to January's lab with Ronaldo following them, knowing what kind of fun they'll be having.

"Wait for me!" Ronaldo cried.

()()()()()

In the lab, January and Selena are working on their latest invention when all of a sudden, the door to the lab gets smashed by Johnny and Dukey with Ronaldo catching his breath in the process.

"Who said you were coming?" Johnny asked Ronaldo.

"I'm bored too y'know," Ronaldo replied.

"What are you three doing here?" January asked the boys.

"We're bored," All three cried in bored tones.

"We're busy," Selena replied. "As you can see, we have an unstable portal to another dimension."

"We're trying hard to fix the situation," January replied. "You three will just have to go somewhere else before things get ugly here."

"I can help you ladies with that," Ronaldo said with pride. "I'm a science genius like you two."

"Well then how do you suppose to fix an unstable portal?" Johnny asked Ronaldo.

"With science and calculations on my side, I'll fix this thing 5 minutes top!"

But all of a sudden, the portal became too unstable and within a few seconds, it sucks up Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo inside and then it disappeared into thin air.

"So much for a genius who can fix this thing 5 minutes top," Selena said in a bored tone. "What do we do now?"

"Let's recreate the accident and get the boys back," January replied. "Who knows what evil and dangerous things lurk on the other side."

()()()()()

Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo landed on the hard pavement, belly first. When they get to their senses, they looked around to see that they're still in Mellowbrook. But are they?

"Lame portal," Johnny whined. "It just sends us to lame Mellowbrook."

Just then, a Viking went by and stops behind the boys with his back showing. Johnny could tell that it was only Magnus who owns the BattleSnax.

"Hey there Magnus," Johnny cried while waving his hand. "How's the weather today dude?"

But as soon as Johnny said those words, 'Magnus' turns around and sees Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo. The three boys were shocked to see that 'Magnus' had feminine eyes and lips and is without a Viking beard. It wasn't a normal Magnus. It was a She-Magnus.

"Who are you calling a dude?" She-Magnus cried. "Do I look like a dude? BWA!"

"With your back in front of us," Johnny replied nervously.

"Oh that's okay. People tend to mistake me for a boy."

Now this was weird. She-Magnus replied nicely to Johnny's answer. Something's not right in this town.

"We'll I'm kinda hungry," She-Magnus replied. "Roasted turkeys anyone?"

Johnny, Ronaldo and Dukey slowly nodded their heads as She-Magnus left to get the turkeys.

"Are we dreaming?" Ronaldo asked.

"Only one way to find out," Johnny said as he motions Dukey and Ronaldo to pinch their arms. "One … two … three!"

The three pinched their arms and feel the pain afterwards. They were not dreaming at all.

"We're awake," Dukey replied. "Johnny, do you think that we've had that kind of situation before?"

"What situation?" Johnny asked.

"Y'know when we got sucked into another dimension one time and we saw the General who is a lady."

"Oh yeah I know that. I had a feeling we're having some serious déjà vu here."

"You two having a trip down memory lane?" Ronaldo asked. "Don't tell me you two got sucked into another dimension before."

"I remembered," Dukey replied. "I remembered that we were bored in Porkbelly and we got sucked into another dimension that sends us to a town called Leadbelly."

"Leadbelly? Isn't that where Jonni used to live before that Blob invasion occurred?"

"She used to live there. Why?"

"I think I had a feeling that we're in a gender-swap world. We though that She-Magnus was normal Magnus in the first few minutes."

"I thought so too," Johnny replied. "And I also thought that Jonni was actually my female self."

"Well not technically Jonathon." Ronaldo replied.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well truth is told is that Jonni used to be born here as Black Rose. Remember?"

"Black Rose? Jonni's alter-ego who is an Egyptian warrior who used to work for Pyrota and Bumper falls madly in love with her?"

"Well yes, but she used to be born here a long time ago before all of us were born."

"So she's immortal like Giovanni?"

"Well no, though he _did _kill her in the past and the gods have her rebirth in this time, but in another universe."

"I don't get it. If she was my female alternative self, wouldn't our universe go against her since 2 matters don't work well together?"

"No. Jonni was born in our universe and that's final. Get it?"

"Got it."

"Now then, about this gender-swap universe, I bet my female self is pretty and into science like me."

"What about Kick's female self?"

"I bet for sure, FemKick would be stupid, worthless, ugly and reckless like Buttowski."

"That's just cold," Dukey warned Ronaldo. "There could be people around here who may hear this and after a few seconds, they'll run away crying."

True to Dukey's words, they saw a brunette girl who wore an inventor's outfit mixed with a stuntman outfit (hence the yellow gloves and boots) a 1910s inventor helmet with a red stripe and is holding a wrench. Her emotions surprised the three men. She was shocked. She must've listened to their conversation and true to Dukey's words, the girl ran off crying.

"What did you do to make the girl cry?" Johnny yelled at Ronaldo. "I bet for sure, no girl would want you now."

"What are you talking about Jonathon?" Ronaldo asked Johnny. "It's obviously that she's snooping around and not minding her own business."

"Are you that cold and heartless? What if that girl who just ran off is FemKick?"

"There's no way that girl could be FemKick. If she was FemKick, she would wear a white jumpsuit and helmet. Not in those steampunk clothes that she wore right now."

"Well no matter what, we're going to find that girl and apologize," Dukey said in a firm voice.

"Apologize to her?" Ronaldo asked looking surprised. "You two will apologize."

"But we didn't say anything bad to her," Johnny corrected Ronaldo. "You did. You apologize."

"Fine. Have it your way."

As Ronaldo starts walking, Dukey went up to Johnny and patted him on the back.

"Glad you did the right thing," Dukey said to Johnny. "By the way, what town is this?"

"Sunnybrook," Johnny said as he points at the billboard.

()()()()()

At a familiar house in a familiar cul-de-sac, a tall, black-haired teenage girl is listening to her iPod when the door went open to reveal the same brunette girl who heard what Ronaldo said earlier. She could tell that this girl was her younger sister.

"Are you okay Claire?" the teenage girl asked.

"Does it look like I'm okay Blaine?" Claire barked.

"Just tell me what's wrong?"

"Some blond, geek boy with huge glasses called me stupid, worthless, ugly and reckless at the park earlier. Do you think you cared about it?"

"Claire. I do care about your sake. Do you know the name of that boy?"

"Well his friends called him Ronaldo. Is that enough?"

"Leave this Ronaldo boy to me. You just go to the washroom and dry up those tears of yours."

()()()()()

Later, Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo are finally eating their roasted turkeys from She-Magnus at the park. As they eat away their turkeys, Blaine walks right up to the gang with anger in her emerald-green eyes. Ronaldo was the first to notice this.

"Are you Ronaldo?" Blaine asked Ronaldo.

"Yes," Ronaldo replied. "Why?"

"You did something horrible to my sister Claire and I intended to pound you into horse meat."

"Well who the hell are you?"

"They called me, _the Blaine._"

"What for? For being an ugly girl like your sister?"

That really hit Blaine real hard. How dare someone called her ugly, in the open? This went too far for Blaine as she grabs Ronaldo's shirt collar and yelled at the top of her lungs, making Ronaldo's eyes widen in fear.

"Now you listen here dillweed! No one treats my younger sister like crap and _no _one calls me ugly! If anyone's stupid, worthless and reckless, it's you! Consider yourself pounded! Yeah Blaine!"

And with that, Blaine hits Ronaldo's head real hard which sends him falling to the ground unconscious. Johnny and Dukey had never seen Blaine so furious before. Much to their surprise, Blaine's anger went down the drain and appears to be calm than usual.

"Don't worry about him," Blaine told Johnny and Dukey. "He'll be okay."

"Who are you?" Johnny asked Blaine.

"The name's Blaine Buttowski. And you are?"

"Johnny Test and this is my dog Dukey."

"Hi," Dukey replied.

"Well it is certainly nice to meet you boys," Blaine continued. "Are you from out of town or something?"

"Actually we're from another universe," Johnny replied.

"I see. It seems that you came here, but don't know how to get home am I correct?"

"Well yeah … but we just want to have fun and not get bored that's all."

"Well okay, but you do need to get back to your own universe thought. If you guys are ready to go home, or want to ask me questions about this universe, come see me and Claire in our house. Understand?"

"We understand perfectly. Where's your home anyway?"

"At the cul-de-sac in house 3161. Yeah Blaine!"

Then Blaine left. A few seconds after Blaine left, Ronaldo starts to come to his senses.

"What the devil happened to me?" Ronaldo asked Johnny.

"You've been pounded by a girl." Johnny replied. "A _Buttowski _girl that is. But you're still going to apologize to Claire though."

"Who's Claire?"

"She's the same girl who heard our conversation and ran off crying in the first place, duh."

"And she's also Blaine's younger sister." Dukey added.

"So she really is FemKick then." Ronaldo replied.

"I told you she's FemKick!" Johnny said to Ronaldo in an annoyed tone.

"No you didn't."

"Well I just did."

"So where's Claire so that I can apologize to her?"

"She lives in the cul-de-sac at house 3161."

"Well then let's go there."

Dukey, Johnny and Ronaldo then head off to Claire's house as Dukey and Johnny were smirking, knowing that Ronaldo is finally going to do the right thing. When they got there, all three have a serious déjà vu. That house that Claire and Blaine lived in is quite similar. But no matter, Johnny was the first to approach the door and as soon as he rang the bell, Claire was the one to open the door. She was at least surprised to see Ronaldo, but not surprised to see Johnny and Dukey behind him.

"Yes?" Claire asked.

"Listen," Ronaldo spoke nervously. "About the conversation earlier,-"

"It's okay Ronaldo. I got used by those insults from others before."

"So does that mean that you-"

"I forgive you. But don't do that again to a girl. Promise?"

"I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Good. I'm glad our little conflict here is over."

"So now what? The gang and I didn't come here for nothing."

"Seeing that you're here, do you want to take a look around in our home before exploring the city?"

"I'll be delighted to see your home."

Claire motions Ronaldo, Johnny and Dukey inside her home. Everything looks the same though, but what's new is that there's a 9-year old blond boy sitting on the couch. He looks quite familiar though.

"Who are those losers Claire?" the boy barked. "They're nowhere near as good-looking as moi?"

"Brian, we have visitors," Claire replied calmly. "Try to show them some respect."

But Brian ignores Claire as Blaine enters the living room.

"Nice of you guys to show up," Blaine said as she walks towards the kitchen. "Yeah Blaine!"

"C'mon," Claire said to Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo. "Let me show you something."

Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo followed Claire to her room in which the boys felt another déjà vu. What's odd is that Claire opens her closet and pulls out a hockey stick which made the closet wall move up to reveal a secret lab.

"You have a secret lab?" Ronaldo asked Claire.

"Yes I do," Claire replied.

"I must be in love. Why a lab?"

"I'm not just a daredevil. I'm an inventor as well."

"Well these clothes now make sense."

"Now, Blaine told me that you three were from another universe am I right?"

"Yeah but we just came here to have fun," Johnny replied.

"You guys _really_ need to get back to your own universe." Claire said in an annoyed tone. "But since you guys want to have fun, I'll show you guys Sunnybrook. But after we're done with that, I'll work on something to get you guys home. Understand?"

"We understand perfectly," Dukey replied. "So when do we start?"

"How about now?" Johnny cried. "I'd like to see what Sunnybrook is like."

"Then it's settled," Claire said. "Follow me."

()()()()()

Somewhere in Sunnybrook, a familiar stalker ran like crazy to search for someone. You've thought for sure it'll be Wacky Jackie looking for Kick, but instead we have Wacky Jack Wackerman who is searching for his lady love, Claire Buttowski.

"Must find Claire and make her my wife!" Wacky Jack cried. "Where could she be at this time of hour?"

Just then, he spots a group of kids walking downtown. He was surprised to see Claire with three boys behind her.

"Those guys must've captured her!" Wacky Jack sneered. "I must defeat them and win Claire's heart!"

In a speed of light, Wacky Jack ran up to the group and swept Claire off her feet, leaving Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo stunned.

"You are safe in my arms now," Wacky Jack said to a surprised Claire. "You and I will make beautiful music together. Away from your captors."

"Nice try Jack," Claire replied as she releases herself from Wacky Jack's grip. "But those guys are not my captors. They're my new friends."

"Friends?" Wacky Jack said in shocked. "No boy is ever going to be your friend Claire. Don't you see that I loved you?"

"If you loved me, then why would you steal a handful of my panties and bras when I'm not around?"

"Because I love you Claire. Stealing your panties and bras is the only way to prove my love to you."

"Not only do we have a stalker," Johnny whispered to Ronaldo. "We have a pervert as well."

"Ya think?" Ronaldo answered snappily.

The alarm on Wacky Jack's watch went off all of a sudden. In a hurry, Wacky Jack ran off.

()()()()()

Johnny, Dukey, Ronaldo and Claire continued on walking downtown until they stopped by the cathedral. They saw a young woman feeding a flock of birds some bread.

"We're not Christian," Johnny told Claire.

"I know," Claire responded. "But that church and that woman bring me back some memories."

"What memories?" Ronaldo asked Claire.

"The memories I have when I was a little girl."

"When you're little?"

"Yes. My late grandmother used to sing me a lullaby about the bird woman at night."

"Do you remember the lyrics?" Ronaldo's eyes grew big like a cute puppy. "I would like to hear it."

"Okay." Claire took a deep breath. "It goes like this...

_**Claire: **__Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's,  
>The little old bird woman comes<br>In her own special way to the people she calls,  
>"Come, buy my bags full of crumbs;<em>

_Come feed the little birds,  
>Show them you care<br>And you'll be glad if you do  
>Their young ones are hungry<br>Their nests are so bare  
>All it takes is tuppence from you<em>

_Feed the birds, tuppence a bag  
>Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag<br>Feed the birds," that's what she cries  
>While overhead, her birds fill the skies<em>

_All around the cathedral the saints and apostles,  
>Look down as she sells her wares<br>Although you can't see it,  
>You know they are smiling<br>Each time someone shows that he cares_

_Though her words are simple and few  
>Listen, listen, she's calling to you<br>"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag  
>Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag"<em>

_Though her words are simple and few  
>Listen, listen, she's calling to you<br>"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag  
>Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag"<em>

"That was beautiful," Ronaldo cried. "I'm seriously in love now."

"Eww," Johnny cried as he barfed off-screen from hearing Ronaldo's comment.

"That lullaby really touched my heart," Dukey said. "It really did."

"So Claire," Ronaldo spoke nervously. "Not going to try to be Wacky Jack here but ... would you go out on a date with me? Please?"

"I...I," Claire tries to respond but didn't collect her courage enough.

"Just say yes and I'll be the happiest geek in history."

"I would gladly go on a date with you."

"Yes! When do I pick you up?"

"In one hour. Don't be late."

Ronaldo squealed with glee as Claire skates back home to get ready. Ronaldo then comes to his senses and went off to buy a gift for Claire. Johnny and Dukey remained on the same spot, looking stunned.

"Ronaldo's finally got a girlfriend," Dukey said.

"I think Ronaldo's going to screw this one up like he did with Kendall in the past." Johnny replied.

"Don't be so negative Johnny. I'm sure Ronaldo and Claire will be a couple and by that, it's love at first sight."

"Don't mention that word. I hate that word."

"But you used that word on Avery remember?"

"That was different."

"No. It's still the same. Let's go find Ronaldo and help him with his date."

"Agreed."

As Johnny and Dukey went off to find Ronaldo, a blond boy who wore a green and pink sweater, black pants and brown walking shoes approaches them.

"Sorry to get in your way my good men," the boy said in a gentleman voice. "But let me introduce myself. I'm Kenny Perkins, class president of Sunnybrook Elementary."

"Where have I seen this before?" Johnny asked.

"Well no matter, I see that your friend is off on a date with Claire Buttowski am I right?"

""How did you know about that?"

"I've been eavesdropping. I must say that Claire is not the right gal for your friend."

"And why is that?"

"For one, Claire is not a proper lady. All she does is doing some stupid stunts and making stupid inventions."

"So? My sisters and my cousins do that. That doesn't hurt a woman to do such things like stunts and inventing."

"Well to me, it's unladylike and Claire should act like a little lady. She should wear a skirt and play with puppets like a good little lady."

"Are you that sexist?" Johnny shouted at Kenny. "Just because Claire does some awesome stunts and make great inventions doesn't mean that she's not ladylike!"

"And your point?"

"Well for one, my girlfriend just happens to be like Claire, but only tougher. And I will warn you this, if you make an attempt to call my girl unladylike if you meet her, I'm so sure that she'll beat you up. And trust me; you don't want to make her angry."

"True. Very true. But you do realize that your manly nature has been decreased by feminine power. If you want your manly power to still be powerful, you must make sure that Claire and your girl are treated like proper ladies. Ta."

Then Kenny left.

"Well?" Dukey asked Johnny.

"Forget about what Kenny said dog," Johnny barked madly. "His attitude is so sour and bossy. He's like MaleKendall."

"That's because he _is _MaleKendall."

"Right. We'd better tell Claire about this."

Johnny and Dukey ran off to find Claire.

()()()()()

One hour later, Claire is wearing her red steam punk dress and as she does the finishing touches, the doorbell rang.

"That must be my date," Claire said as she hurried downstairs to get the door.

But when Claire opens the door, she only saw Johnny and Dukey.

"Where's Ronaldo?" Claire asked Johnny and Dukey.

"We tried looking for him, but we can't find him anywhere." Johnny said nervously.

"I think he's been kidnapped by Kenny," Dukey replied.

"Kenny Perkins?" Claire asked, almost at the urge to get angry. "Why that bossy son of a bitch!"

"Are you okay Claire?" Dukey asked Claire sympathetically. "You sure looked upset about something."

"You guys talked to Kenny didn't you?"

"Well he appeared out of nowhere and started telling bad things about you. But Johnny and I both knew that you nothing of the things Kenny said."

"Yeah," Johnny replied. "If possible, no girl would want a bossy gentleman like Kenny. Not only he said bad things about you, he's also quite a sexist towards other girls."

"He usually does that," Claire said. "He thinks that all men are lords and that all girls are nothing but their subjects."

"That boy really needs to learn more about the modern world. It's like he's stuck in the 1910s."

"Okay. What about Ronaldo?"

"We don't know where he is. All I know is that he might be kidnapped."

"But the truth is … he _did_ get kidnapped." Dukey replied. "But we found this."

Dukey hands Claire a telegram and as soon as Claire has it, the telegram activates to show a hologram of a blue haired woman who wore a magenta business suit. Johnny had yet another déjà vu.

"Hello Claire Buttowski," the woman sneered evilly.

"Wacka," Claire hissed.

"Oh so you do remember me. Goody. Now you know why I sent that telegram to you."

"Actually no."

"Oh how disappointing. I have someone that you think you might like to see."

Claire watched in horror as she saw a hologram of Ronaldo who is tied up and gagged.

"Ronaldo."

"Oh so you do know him." Wacka sneered. "Well. I have a little request for you to do in exchange for this fine boy's life."

"What's the request?"

"In our last fight, I have retreated but left behind a black suitcase that you still have possession of."

"You mean the black suitcase with the red skull and golden crown on it?"

"Yes that's the one. If you give me my suitcase, I'll spare your little friend's life."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then I'll just have to put him to sleep. You have one hour to give it to me at Dead Gal's Drop. Ta."

Then the telegram deactivates, leaving Johnny, Dukey and Claire stunned.

"I don't care about the consequences," Claire said in a determined voice. "But I'm getting Ronaldo back."

"But you can't," Dukey cried. "You can't give this Wacka lady the suitcase. Who know what she'll do about it."

"It doesn't matter. I still want to get Ronaldo back. His life depends on it."

"She's right Dukey," Johnny replied to Dukey. "She's not a proper lady like Kenny said earlier. She is in our standards _perfect in every way._"

"You realty think so Johnny?"

"I meant everything that we've learned from her. Not only does she do stunts and make lots of cool inventions, but she's pretty and caring to those around her. She's like a modern version of Mary Poppins."

"You haven't seen that movie Johnny."

"I know. But still, she's perfect in every way."

"Alright," Claire spoke finally. "Let's get Ronaldo back."

()()()()()

At Dead Gal's Drop, Wacka is waiting for Claire to show up with the suitcase. As for Ronaldo, he is tied up by the tree, but now he's able to speak.

"You are worthless and ugly and you know that!" Ronaldo yelled at Wacka. "Claire will save me. I just know it!"

"Shut up geek," Wacka shouted. "You're ruining this moment."

Just then, Claire shows up with the suitcase. Behind her is Johnny and Dukey.

"Release the geek," Claire said to Wacka.

"Give me the suitcase first," Wacka replied.

"Don't do it Claire!" Ronaldo cried as he struggles to get free.

"Quiet you!" Wacka yelled once more before turning back to Claire. "The suitcase dearie."

Claire sighed and then gave Wacka the suitcase, but not before motioning Johnny and Dukey to get to their positions. As Wacka was about to open the suitcase, Johnny releases the net which traps Wacka while Dukey frees Ronaldo.

"You tricked me!" Wacka yelled at Claire. "When I get out of this, I will destroy you!"

"Oh I don't think so," Claire said as she pulls out a freeze ray and freezes Wacka in the process.

"Claire." Ronaldo cried as he ran to hug Claire. "You're really are hardcore and you know that."

"I know."

Ronaldo and Claire were about to share their first kiss until the portal opens.

"Well it looks like we have to go home," Johnny said to Dukey. "But we sure had fun here."

"Well I guess this is goodbye then," Ronaldo said sadly to Claire. "We'll have to find out how our galactic relationship will work out."

"Oh I don't think so." Claire replied.

Claire grabs Ronaldo and kisses him on the lips for a few seconds before releasing him.

"That was awesome," Ronaldo said sheepishly.

"I won't forget about you." Claire replied.

"Me neither."

Then Johnny, Dukey and Ronaldo went inside the portal and then it disappears in front of Claire.

_**Claire: **__Though her words are simple and few  
>Listen, listen, she's calling to you<br>"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag  
>Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag"<em>

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Avery walks inside the mansion to tell Johnny about her vacation. As she gets inside, she saw Ronaldo acting weird and lovesick. She also saw Johnny and Dukey.

"What's with Ronaldo?" Avery asked Johnny and Dukey.

"Let's just say he's got a new girlfriend," Johnny replied.

"And it's a long distance relationship." Dukey added.

"I see." Avery replied. "So what did you guys do while I was gone?"

"Oh nothing," Johnny replied with a smile on his face.


	15. Billy Gets Busted

_**Billy Gets Busted**_

Friday night in Mellowbrook was the best night anyone could ask for besides Saturday night when they're out dancing to the beats on the dance floor in private or public clubs all night. Well that is for most adults and teenagers though. For kids, all they liked to do on a Friday night is either have an adventure in the outskirts of town or go to the mall and do some shopping.

Now for certain kids like for instance, Kick Buttowski and his cousin Avery, Friday night is all about seeing the latest show in the Mellowbrook Arena – hosted by one famous daredevil idol, Billy Stumps.

They've waited since the past two weeks to see that show and it took them about five bucks to buy the tickets for them, and their friends who enjoy Billy Stumps' shows as much as they do. And they can't wait to get out of school, away from the mean teachers and the bossy yet mean popular kids to see this once-in-a-lifetime moment. Yes I did mention this show was an once-in-a-lifetime moment. If you miss this moment, you can't get it back. Ever.

Anyway, it was one Friday afternoon at Mellowbrook Elementary as Kick and Avery were so pumped up for Billy's show that they can't focus on normal things as for instance, stunts and hippie rights. Most of their classmates are getting concerned about their behaviours.

"Is Kick finally realizing that he loves me?" Jackie asked.

"Maybe Avery's finally learned that hippies never win." Janet replied.

"Maybe their grandmother Mona has returned from being on the run," Gunther remarked.

"Or maybe," Johnny spoke. "They're _dead._"

"They're not dead Test!" Sissy yelled. "If they're dead, their corpses wouldn't be in the school by now."

"Well by the looks of it, it looks like they're dead cause y'know, they're standing perfectly still and haven't spoken a single word all day."

"Maybe. I wonder what's wrong with them."

After long minutes of silence, Kick and Avery scream so loud that a beaker broke into pieces.

"Today at 9, Billy Stumps' latest show at Mellowbrook Arena!" Kick cried happily.

"It's only for tonight!" Avery cried. "It's an once-in-a-lifetime moment!"

"Really?" Gunther asked.

"Really!" Kick and Avery cried.

"AWESOME! Count me in!"

"US TOO!" The other classmates cried out as well.

"Then it's settled," Avery said. "All of us will meet at the arena at 8:30 so that we can get good seats."

"Don't be late," Kick replied.

And then, everyone screams and then passed out as the janitor walk inside the classroom to find the seventh and eighth graders lay motionless on the floor with excitement.

"Oh great," the janitor grumbled. "Now the kids are _dead._"

()()()()()

Meanwhile in Quahog, Meg is packing her stuff to move out of this shit town she once lived in and find another place to live where people would actually be nice to her for once. She was never popular, this she was sure of. She had no friends and no family to love her. All she had is a family who constantly treats her like crap every single day in her life. A fatass, retarded father, an uncaring, bitchy mother, an idiotic fatass brother and a killer baby. For most of her life in the past, she was the punching bag, but today, she's moving out, and is never coming back. Ever.

"What are you doing?" Peter asked Meg.

"I'm moving out," Meg replied coldly.

"That's funny. But seriously, what are you doing?"

"I'm not joking. I'm moving out!"

"But who would take you in?" Lois asked Meg.

"I'll find a place." Meg said emotionlessly.

"You mean you're just gonna leave without a solid place to stay? C'mon Meg, think this through-"

"Oh, no, I've thought this through!" Meg yelled, cutting her mother off completely. "Every day… _every day _you people forget who I am or even _what _I am and then, when I'm gone for more than a day, you suddenly remember and think that a party will solve the problem that you ultimately caused!"

"But what will you do about money?"

"I've had a job for the last 2 years, saving up for an occasion like this. And just as I suspected, you didn't even know I had it!"

"Well there's no way you have enough money to say by yourself."

"For your information, I have about $398 763.34 in a bank account that you'll never know the name of."

"But what about school? Friends? Fam-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT! I wasn't doing well in school anyway and if you actually _paid attention, _you'd know I have no friends. And as for family, no one even acts like I exist. So I'll be fine by myself."

"You're a stupid, whiny, fat and ugly bitch," Peter said to Meg.

"Shut up!"

Then Meg left.

()()()()()

Later in the evening, almost every single seventh and eight graders have gather round in the gateways of Mellowbrook Arena for Billy Stumps' latest show.

"This is going to be super sweet," Johnny said. "Even better than the fight against the Giant Chicken."

_Johnny is walking downtown when the Giant Chicken stops his path._

"_Hey there little boy," the Giant Chicken spoke. "How would you like a coupon to the Toy Store?"_

"_Gee thanks," Johnny said as the Giant Chicken gave Johnny a coupon._

_Johnny then enters the Toy Store and gave the clerk the coupon._

"_Hey there buddy, I would like a new action-figure toy," Johnny said. "Oh and that nice chicken out there gave me this coupon."_

_The clerk looks at the coupon and then back at Johnny with a frown on her face._

"_I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This is expired."_

_Johnny quickly turns to the Giant Chicken with anger in his eyes._

"_You son of a bitch!" Johnny cried as he smashed through the glass and tackled the Giant Chicken._

_The Giant Chicken then tackles Johnny and punches him in the guts multiple times until Johnny returns the favour by punching him in the face. This goes on and on and as they fight, they've caused utter mayhem in town. First by causing a truck to fall onto the boat and explode when Johnny and the Giant Chicken took their battle on a truck and then take the next level on a passing helicopter. As Johnny and the Giant Chicken continue fighting on a helicopter, they let go and came crashing into a random office building. Johnny manages to end the fight by slamming the Giant Chicken's head into a copier where it slowly dies._

"_Chicken," Johnny spoke as he walks out of the trashed office as most of the workers stared at him. "Gave me a bad coupon-"_

_But somehow, the Giant Chicken woke up and did a sneak attack on Johnny which caused the both of them to crash into a window and fall to the streets since the building is 14 stories high. Johnny remains alive while the Giant Chicken is pronounced dead … for the second time._

_As Johnny walks home into the sunset, the Giant Chicken opens his eyes and glares at Johnny, foreshadowing another fight._

A group of seventh and eighth graders race to find good seats and they were lucky that there were a lot of good seats left for them to stick together. Just then, the show has finally started as Billy Stumps himself makes an appearance with his personal truck, the Shotgun.

"I would like to thank you all for coming," Billy said through his microphone. "It means a lot to me. And for those who loved my previous shows, just remember, _live 'till it hurts_!"

"LIVE 'TILL IT HURTS!" cried the audience.

_**Billy Stumps**__: __Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
>Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid<br>And all that glitters is gold  
>Only shooting stars break the mold<em>

_**Audience**__: Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
>Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid<br>And all that glitters is gold  
>Only shooting stars break the mold<em>

"And now for the stunt," Billy exclaimed.

The audience cheer as Billy gets inside the Shotgun and pumps up the gas. But before the stunt can be done, several police cars enter the stadium and surrounded the Shotgun.

"What the biscuits?" Kick said as he witnessed the situation.

"What's with the police cars?" Avery cried. "In a middle of an awesome stunt?"

"Billy Stumps?" said the chief police.

"That's me alright," Billy replied.

"You're under arrest for the murder of Lois Griffin today at 4 p.m. You have the right to remain silent."

"This is completely messed up here! I don't know anyone named Lois Griffin!"

"Tell that to the judge."

Then the chief police turns to the other polices.

"Take him away boys."

The crowd went shocked as the police took Billy Stumps, a famous daredevil away to the police station for questioning. Even the seventh and eighth graders were shocked. They all knew that Billy would never murder someone and that they all knew that this Lois Griffin person was a sleazy, bitch. They've seen her before. She was uncaring and all she wants is to be at the center of attention. She didn't care a lot about family, especially Meg.

"Who would do this to frame Billy?" Kick asked. "He's innocent."

"But the question now is, where to find evidence," Avery replied. "In order to set the record straight, we must pay a visit to one person."

"And who is that person?" Johnny asked Avery.

"Mr. Sin."

"Mr. Sin? The health teacher who is really a criminal on the run and knows all about our secrets and everything in the world?"

"Yep. _That's _Mr. Sin."

"I had a feeling it'll end badly."

()()()()()

Several hours after Billy's arrest, Kick, Avery and Johnny entered Mellowbrook Elementary and more specifically, the gym. But what's new is that Mr. Sin isn't here.

"Mr. Sin isn't here," Johnny said before walking towards the door. "Oh well. I guess we'll have to come back here on Monday."

"Not likely," Avery replied as she held onto Johnny's jacket. "I know Mr. Sin is somewhere here."

Just then, all three teens heard a muffled cry for help. They walked around, listening for the cry until they heard it from the equipment room. Avery, thinking it was Mr. Sin kicks the door open, but she didn't find Mr. Sin. Instead, she finds the janitor tied up and gagged.

"Unnamed janitor?" Johnny cried.

"What the hell happened to you?" Avery asked as she took of the janitor's gag. "And where's Mr. Sin?"

"Some red-haired lady took him," the janitor replied.

"How did she take Mr. Sin in the first place unnamed janitor?" Johnny asked.

"I HAVE A NAME Y'KNOW!"

"Really? What is it?"

"I'll tell you my name soon enough. Anyway, about earlier..."

_Unnamed Janitor's POV:_

_Mr. Sin is as usual working on his paperwork while I was busy cleaning up the gym when all of a sudden, a pretty, red-haired lady who wore an aqua shirt, beige pants and red slippers appeared. She was pretty I tell ya. I can also tell that she's from a sleazy town where everyone's a bitch. She approached Mr. Sin who just stared at her._

_I had no idea what the lady is talking about to Mr. Sin, but I can tell that it is a request the lady wants Mr. Sin to do. As predicted of what would happened, Mr. Sin turned her down and the lady was shocked, but nevermore, she picks up a pipe and hits Mr. Sin in the head. She then proceeds to tie him up, but not before she saw me, as a witness._

_And because she doesn't like nosey witnesses, the lady picks up an extra rope, tied me up and put me in the equipment room. I tried to scream for help, but the lady gagged me … with a dirty rag._

"And the last thing I remembered was being tied up and gagged in the equipment room," the janitor finished his story. "And man that rag is dirty!"

"You've said it," Kick said as he smells the rag's odour. "And it even _smells _dirty."

"Anyhow, what do you kids want with Mr. Sin?"

"We need his help to prove that Billy Stumps is innocent."

"What happened?"

"Billy got arrested for a crime he didn't do."

"What kind of crime?"

"The murder of Lois Griffin."

The janitor went speechless for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" Avery asked the janitor.

"Oh it's nothing," the janitor said quickly, snapping out of his trance. "So you kids want to find Mr. Sin and clear Billy's name?"

"Yes," Avery, Kick and Johnny replied.

"Well first thing's first, we need to find some clues that will lead us to Mr. Sin. And then we ask him to help clear Billy's name."

"So when do we start?" Kick spoke.

()()()()()

Meg walks for countless hours trying to find a perfect place to live. However, she makes a stop at Mellowbrook. She had a feeling that this town was peaceful and nice, unlike Quahog where everyday there's fights, crimes, drugs and everyone doesn't give a damn for anything nice and peaceful. Meg's nice, but everyone in Quahog hates her, besides being fat and ugly. But to me, the authoress of this tale, Meg is not fat and ugly. Instead she is a beautiful teenage girl whose figure is just like her mother's but with a few extra pounds in it. She may not be as skinny as Connie, but she isn't as fat as Peter Griffin. Besides, how bad can Mellowbrook be?

Now all Meg needs to do is buy herself a nice home and get herself a job.

()()()()()

Avery, Kick, Johnny and the janitor searched around the school to find clues that leads to Mr. Sin's whereabouts. Their first clue however is located in the hallways near the exit. It was a torn piece of aqua clothing.

"A torn piece of the clothing," Johnny cried as Avery picks it up to analyze.

"It must be from the lady," the janitor said.

"How did it get there in the first place?" Kick asked.

_The lady is running off with Mr. Sin who is tied up and gagged. Mr. Sin woke up and started struggling to get free, but only proceeded to tore off a piece from the lady's aqua shirt._

That's what Kick, Avery and the janitor were thinking about. Let's see what Johnny is thinking about.

_The lady is running off with Mr. Sin who is tied up and gagged. Before she can proceed to exit the building, Ms. Chicarelli's dog, Oskar blocks the lady's way. Oskar tore off a piece from the lady's aqua shirt and the lady kicks the dog out of her way before making her escape._

"I think Oskar tore the shirt up!" Johnny cried for almost no reason.

"Really?" Kick asked. "Because from the looks of it, there's no bite marks on it."

"Sorry. I totally didn't see that coming."

"Somehow, the lady made her getaway outside of the school," Avery said. "We'd better find more clues in order to find Mr. Sin, and clear Billy Stumps' name."

So Avery, Kick, Johnny and the janitor continued on with their search outside of the school until they found another clue. A red slipper.

"Her slipper!" the janitor cried. "How did she lose it in the first place?"

_The lady is still running off with Mr. Sin who is tied up and gagged and is awake. He tries to get himself free, but he caused the lady to trip over a rock and loses her slipper in the process._

That's what Kick, Avery and the janitor were thinking about. Let's see what Johnny is thinking about.

_The lady is still running off with Mr. Sin who is tied up and gagged. She is running away from Oskar who is still chasing her. She trips over a rock and loses her slipper in the process._

Johnny nods at his thoughts about the red slipper, while the others were looking at him with confused looks on their faces. Just then, Kick spots something shiny across the road which leads into a forest. It was a medieval knife.

"Mr. Sin's knife," Kick said as he picks up the knife. "He never goes anywhere without his knife."

"And look!" Johnny cried as he saw bits of ropes on the ground as well.

"A piece of rope," the janitor said. "It seems that Mr. Sin was trying to free himself with his knife."

"Or that he may have killed the lady," Johnny replied.

"I don't think so," Kick replied. "If he had killed the lady, wouldn't his knife be covered in the lady's blood?"

"Kick's right Johnny," Avery told Johnny. "But the hunt is still not over. We still have more to uncover."

Kick, Avery, Johnny and the janitor then followed the trail into the forest. As they follow the trail, they heard a muffled cry. It wasn't very far. So the group followed the sound until it was heard from a cave. Avery, being the brave one, enters the cave and what surprised her is that she found Mr. Sin who is still tied up and gagged.

"Mr. Sin!" Avery cried as she takes off Mr. Sin's gag. "What happened to you, and where's the kidnapper?"

"She left me here," Mr. Sin replied. "She didn't say anything before that. But I somehow know that she's planning to frame a certain famous person so that she can be the center of attention in this town."

"Well it's great that you're safe. And now I'd like to ask you a favour."

"What kind of favour?"

"We need your help to clear Billy Stumps' name. He's been framed for a crime he didn't do."

"Say no more Numbuh 12. It appears that Billy Stumps is framed for a crime he didn't do and that the crime is the murder of Lois Griffin."

"Yeah, but we need to find the _real _killer in order to prove that Billy is innocent."

"The killer eh? Well then, there's something that you should know about this. There was no killer nor is there a murder."

"What? What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that the whole murder thing is just a setup. It was a fake."

"A FAKE!" cried Kick, Johnny and the janitor.

"Yes. You see, Lois Griffin wasn't exactly dead. She is however still alive."

"But the police said that Billy killed her," Kick said, who is almost at the urge to cry.

"No, no, no Clarence," Mr. Sin continued. "She pretended to be dead and used Billy's personal gun as evidence. That way, the authorities will think that Billy killed her. But she only did that so that she can be the center of attention."

"So all this time, we were chasing a lady who was thought to be dead?" Johnny asked.

"Exactly. Now, Billy's trial begins tomorrow at noon so I think it's a good time to tell Billy about what you've learned today."

"Okay," Avery replied.

As the group walk back to their homes, Johnny stares at the janitor.

"What?" the janitor asked in annoyance.

"You still have to tell us your name," Johnny replied. "You said you would tell us."

"Well I don't have to!"

"Tell us or else."

"Or else what?"

"Or else I'll tell the principal that you made the staff washroom flooded earlier."

"Fine. I'll tell you my name, but you better not laugh."

"My laughter is sealed."

"Okay. My name is …"

But before the janitor could say his name, the group heard a wolf howling. Afraid that the wolf might get them, the group scattered from the forest and ran to the police station.

()()()()()

At the police station, Billy is in his jail cell and is waiting for his trial tomorrow. If he's not guilty and is innocent, he would continue on living a daredevil's life. If not, he would be convicted as a murderer and would most likely spend the rest of his days in prison.

What caught his attention is that Avery, Johnny, Kick, the janitor and Mr. Sin are at the police station and are heading towards his cell. And from the looks of it, they feel sorry for him as well.

"We need to talk," Kick said.

"What is it that you want to talk about?" Billy asked.

"About the whole murder thing. Billy, you're innocent and you did not kill Lois Griffin."

"That's what I was trying to say to the police, but they didn't believe me. You're gonna need some evidence to prove that I'm innocent. Unfortunately, there's like no evidence here."

"But listen to this," Avery replied. "This whole murder thing was a fake. Lois was doing that just so she can get some attention to herself."

"You kids knew that Lois wasn't murdered?" Billy asked. "It doesn't seem to make sense."

"We know," Johnny replied. "Lois even tried to kidnapped our gym teacher over here."

"They're right y'know," Mr. Sin said to Billy. "Now look, your trial begins tomorrow, so we'll testify and prove that you're innocent."

"Okay, but what if it doesn't work?" Billy questioned Mr. Sin.

"It will work. Trust me"

()()()()()

Meg had just bought herself a new home, which is at the cul-de-sac. By the time she opens the door, it was already unlocked. Guess someone broke inside before. But what she did not expect was her friend, Jonni being inside the house.

"What are you doing her?" Meg asked Jonni.

"I currently lived here," Jonni replied. "And you?"

"I moved out from my old home and bought this home. Since you're my friend, care to be my roomate?"

"Sure thing."

()()()()()

Today is the day of Billy Stumps' trial. If he's not guilty and is innocent, he would continue on living a daredevil's life. If not, he would be convicted as a murderer and would most likely spend the rest of his days in prison.

"Here ye, here ye!" the judge started. "We begin the trial of Billy Stumps. According to these files, he is convicted for the murder of Lois Griffin.

"I object," Kick said. "Your honour, this whole murder thing was a fake, and therefore, Billy didn't kill Lois."

"Do you have any evidence?"

"Actually we have witness. Behold the witnesses!"

As soon as Kick said those words, Johnny, Mr. Sin and the janitor entered the courtroom.

"May I speak your honour?" Mr. Sin asked the judge.

"Proceed." the judge answered.

"Last night, just when school ended, I was busy working on my paperwork in the gym. Then, Lois came and approached me."

"I had no idea what the lady is talking about to Mr. Sin, but I can tell that it is a request the lady wants Mr. Sin to do." the janitor said. "As predicted of what would happened, Mr. Sin turned her down and Lois was shocked, but nevermore, she picks up a pipe and hits Mr. Sin in the head. She then proceeds to tie him up, but not before she saw me, as a witness. And because she doesn't like nosey witnesses, Lois picks up an extra rope, tied me up and put me in the equipment room. I tried to scream for help, but the lady gagged me … with a dirty rag. And that's the end of my story."

"What do you think jury?" the judge asked the jury.

Some said guilty while the other said not guilty. Before the judge could make his final statement, Avery burst inside, holding Lois by the wrist.

"What's your problem bitch?" Lois yelled angrilly at Avery.

"Behold Lois Griffin!" Avery cried which made the people in the court shocked. "Mr. Sin was right all along and I've figured it out finally."

"How?" the judge asked Avery.

"Right after school ends, Lois enters the gym and approaches Mr. Sin. From what Mr. Sin said earlier, Lois is intending to frame Billy just so she can have all the attention to herself. Now Lois knew exactly that Mr. Sin has the ability to tell everything that is going on and can somehow detect fakes and lies, so she kidnaps him and placed him out of the way. If she didn't kidnap Mr. Sin, it would be harder for her to frame Billy since Mr. Sin tells nothing but the truth. Now a few hours before the show yesterday, Lois enters Billy's room and stole his personal gun. It even has her fingerprints on it. Later, she poured ketchup all over her and put some on the gun, thus pretending to be killed by Billy."

"And I would've gotten away if it weren't for you meddling kids," Lois yelled. "And your unnamed janitor as well!"

"Order in the court!" the judge cried. "Seeing where this is going, I hearby declare Billy Stumps not guilty. He's free to go."

"YAY!" cheered Billy, Kick, Johnny, Avery, Mr. Sin and the janitor.

"As for you Lois Griffin," the judge spoke again to Lois. "I hearby sentence you to spend 20 years in prison, with no chance of parole. Case dismissed!"

"I'll kill you if it's the last thing I do, _Avery Buttowski!_" Lois hissed at Avery.

"Whatever." Avery responded.

As the police hauled Lois away, Johnny walks up to the janitor.

"I believe we have some unfinished business to take care of is it not?" Johnny said to the janitor.

"What unfinished business?" the janitor asked Johnny.

"Why your name of course."

"My name?"

"Yes. Spill it."

"Alright. My name is ..."

Before the janitor can say his name, everyone heard a truck honk. It came from Billy's Shotgun. Billy, Kick, Avery and Mr. Sin are already inside the truck.

"Need a lift?" Billy asked Johnny and the janitor.

Johnny and the janitor nodded as they get inside the Shotgun. Then, the Shotgun rode out of the courthouse to the horizon.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

In Quahog, Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie are worried about Lois. Just then, Joe came by with a frown on his face.

"Peter," Joe spoke. "It seems that Lois was sentenced to spend 20 years in prison with no chance of parole."

The he left, leaving Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie speechless.

"What the hell did Lois do to get herself in jail this time?" Peter spoke. "Women these days are stupid."

* * *

><p><em><strong>INTERACTIVE REVIEW VOTE:<strong>_

_**In future stories, the janitor (from Frame Story) will be named in his next appearance and I can't find a decent name for him. So, here's how it works. If you read this tale, review it. All you have to do in order for this interactive review vote to work is tell me the name that will be used on the janitor and explain to me why. There's no choices so everyone's free to find a random name. The one that is best explained will be used in the janitor's next appearance.**_


	16. Eggtastic

_**Eggtastic!**_

_"I'll never go back to prison!" cried the man who points his gun at the driver. "NEVER!"_

_"Oh yeah?" said the driver who is Rock Callahan._

_"You've put me in jail last time! No matter what you do, I'll just escape as always!"_

_"Escape THIS!"_

_Rock Callahan spins his steering wheel which then made his car flip, in the middle of the road, thus creating a traffic jam._

"Didn't he flip a car in the last episode?" Johnny asked Avery as he, Kick and Gunther were watching TV.

"He does that in _every_ episode," Avery replied. "Like the one time he flipped a bus filled with little kids."

_Rock Callahan is a school bus driver who is driving the bus filled with little kids. Most of them were so whiny and bratty that he couldn't take it anymore._

_"Hey little kids," Rock Callahan said to the kids. "Learn THIS!"_

_He spins his steering wheel which then made the bus flip._

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Johnny, Avery, Kick and Gunther laughed at this and at the same time, Hugh came by and he looks angry.

"Johnny I want you to do your homework," Hugh said. "And Avery."

"Yes?" Avery spoke.

"Get the hell out of here. That goes for you Kick and Gunther."

Then Hugh left, leaving Johnny, Avery, Kick and Gunther moaning in disgust.

"Whatever," Avery muttered. "We'll get out of here."

"WAIT!" Johnny cried as he motions Avery, Kick and Gunther to look at the TV.

_"__Only once every thousand years does an eating challenge appear with the ability to blow everyone away. " _said the TV narrator. _"The Eggtastic Challenge is that challenge. Twelve eggs, chilli, cheese, biscuits and a strawberry bowl. Finish in under an hour and your party eats for free. And you win this hat that says "I'm Eggtastic" on it. That's right, finish the omelet and get the coolest hat ever invented for free. Many have tried, none have succeeded, could you be the first to slay the dragon and be eggtastic."_

_"Hell yeah!" _cried the man in the commercial as the commercial ends.

"We have to win that hat." Johnny told Avery.

"Yeah right," Avery replied. "Did you see the size of that omelet? No one will ever win that hat."

"Aw come on! Did you see how awesome that hat was? It was a net hat."

"Johnny, those aren't even cool anymore." Kick replied.

"Yes they are!" Johnny yelled. "Truckers wear them all the time. It's got air holes in the back to keep a cross breeze going and everything"

"Alright, fine it's cool. But seriously a twelve egg omelet, why don't you just buy the hat?"

"That doesn't make a cool story._ Hey, where'd you get that hat? I bought it. Why does it say "I'm Eggtastic" on it? Oh it doesn't matter cause I just paid for it with money! _Plus why would you _buy_ it anyway when you can get it for_ free_?"

"Yeah but the omelet probably costs more than..." Avery spoke again.

"Avery, forget it!" Johnny yelled again. "You wanna order a measly two egg breakfast, that's fine with me. But when you finish and you're still hungry, don't come crying to me cause I ain't sharing'."

"Yeah but..."

"Shubaboo!"

"But..."

"Sleepypoo!"

"Ugh, ok fine. We'll go to that stupid restaurant. I hate it when you talk like that."

Then Johnny and Avery left the mansion and head off to Eggtastic restaurant while Kick and Gunther do stunts outside. When they got there, they took their seats as the waiter waits for their decisions.

"Have you decided?" the waiter asked Johnny and Avery.

"I'll take the Egg Benedict and an orange juice," Avery ordered.

"And I'll have the Eggtastic Challenge." Johnny ordered gleefully.

The waiter looks surprised as Johnny's decision. Instead, he gave Johnny a frown.

"Oh, I wouldn't recommend the Eggtastic Challenge. It's more of a promotional item."

"Yeah and it's the _only _reason we're here so..." Johnny spoke stubbornly.

"Sir, it's really just..."

"Okay hold on! I'm confused. I'm the customer right?"

"Yes."

"What does the sign say _over there_?"

The waiter looks at the sign by the door.

"Uh, the customer is always right." the waiter answered.

"And what am _I_?" Johnny asked the waiter again.

"The customer."

"And the sign?"

"Sir please."

"Say _it!_"

"The customer is_ always _right."

This pleases Johnny as Avery and the waiter gave him confused looks.

"What would you like sir?" the waiter asked Johnny again.

"Bring me _the omelet._" Johnny ordered again.

()()()()()

Meg Griffin began her new school life in Mellowbrook High. From the looks of it, Mellowbrook High is just as big as James Wood High back in Quahog. She had a feeling that Mellowbrook High would be no different than James Wood High. As she enters the school, most of the kids stared at her, mainly because Meg wore her usual criminal outfit (_**A/N see Family Guy episode "Dial Meg for Murder" for her criminal outfit**_) rather than her normal outfit which consists of her pink shirt, pink beanie, jeans and white shoes. She felt that if she wore her usual self, people would hate her. Besides, what can go wrong in Mellowbrook High?

_I hope the kids here are nicer than the ones back in James Wood High. _Meg though as she walks to her destined homeroom.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, an ambulance is in traffic rushing to get to the hospital. The reason, Johnny and Avery are there and Johnny has to be evacuated from the restaurant due to an allergic reaction when eating the Eggtastic challenge.

"Dude you're allergic to strawberries?" Avery asked Johnny, looking very worried.

"I though if I ate really fast, I wouldn't notice," Johnny replied weakly. "Did I win?"

"Johnny, you didn't even come close!"

"Promise me that whatever happens, you'll win the hat for me?"

"Johnny."

"Please Avery. Promise me."

"Okay. I promise."

"You're a good friend Avery." Johnny said his last words before passing out. Avery went shocked.

"Johnny? JOHNNY!" Avery cried as she nudges Johnny. "WAKE UP!"

"Get back!" said one of the paramedic as he shoves Avery out of the way before turning to the second paramedic. "Punch it, we're loosing him!"

()()()()()

At the hospital, Avery, Kick, Gunther, Dukey, Hugh and Lila are in Johnny's room as they see Johnny lay lifeless on the bed as the doctor enters the room with a sad look on her face.

"It seems that Johnny is in a coma due to the allergic reaction he had to the strawberries." the doctor said. "Unfortunately, due to the large quantity of strawberries that he consumed in is body, there's a strong chance that he may never wake up again."

"Is there anything we can do?" Lila asked.

"All we can do is wait. I'm sorry."

Then the doctor left as Hugh stares at Avery.

"Well I hoped you've learned something from all this," Hugh said.

"What are you talking about?" Avery asked.

"Maybe if you had _left_ the mansion and Johnny is doing his homework like he's _supposed_ to, none of _this_ would've happened!"

This made Avery angry as she punches Hugh in the face. She was proceeding to attack him, but Kick and Gunther held her back.

"What are you doing?" Hugh yelled at Avery.

"What's your problem?" Avery yelled at Hugh. "This has _nothing _to do with schoolwork! Johnny just wanted that hat!"

"And look where it got him! He's only going to get you into more trouble."

"Ha. Take advice from Mr. Test about friends since you've got so many of them."

"I have friends."

"No you don't. Everyone only hangs out with you is because you're the father. Johnny only wanted to win that hat. He doesn't deserve to be in a coma because of that."

Avery then proceeds to head towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Hugh asked Avery once more.

"Back to the restaurant," Avery replied.

"Why?"

"Cause I made a promise to Johnny and I'm going to keep it. That's what friends do for each other."

()()()()()

Back in Mellowbrook High, Meg went to her homeroom to start her new school life. But out of all the teachers in the world, did it have to be Mr. White.

"Attentions class," Mr. White said to the teenage class. "We have a new student who will be staying with us for a while. Her name is Meg Griffin."

Meg had a feeling that the class would start teasing her and pick on her, but instead, a lot of guys went gaga over her while some of the females went green with envy. Maybe this school wouldn't be so bad after all.

()()()()()

"What do you mean it's _not_ for sale?" Avery asked the waiter in the Eggtastic restaurant.

"I mean the hat is _not_ for sale," the waiter said to Avery.

"Look, my friend really wanted that hat and now he's in a coma from trying to finish the challenge. Can't you just make an acceptation about it?"

"Look m'am. I'm sorry about your friend, really I am, but I can't just sell you the hat!"

"Ugh! Then give me the omelet."

"M'am. Please, don't."

"_Give_ me the omelet."

The waiter sighed as he went to the kitchen and then gave Avery the Eggtastic challenge. He then sets the timer to one hour.

"You have one hour," the waiter said to Avery. "Go."

Avery starts eating the omelet as fast as she could, but she ended up being full thus failing to finish in one hour.

"Time is up," the waiter said to Avery.

"Sell me the hat." Avery moaned.

"I'm sorry m'am, the hat is _not _for sale!" the waiter said to Avery.

This frustrates Avery as she storms out of the restaurant as the waiter slowly shook his head in disappointment.

()()()()()

In the hospital.

"I'm sorry Johnny," Avery said to Johnny sadly. "I couldn't get the hat."

Just then, Hugh, and Kick came by. Avery was at least surprised to see Hugh here.

"Oh," Avery said to Hugh without emotions at all. "What are you doing here?"

"Look," Hugh spoke. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. It was a stupid thing to say and I didn't mean it."

"Yeah."

"Y'know, there is a way to win that challenge."

"Say what now?"

Hugh then turns to Kick.

"Tell her Kick."

"A long time ago, I knew this eighth grader by the name of Alex Kimberly." Kick spoke. "He used to go to our school and just like Johnny; he was obsessed with the hat. His drive for the hat was relentless. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, the omelet was the only thing he would ever eat. He kept a journal and kept track of every advantage he could find that would help him in his quest for the hat. One day, he was excited. He kept saying 'I've figured it out' all over. He left to attempt it, but he never came back."

"So what happened?" Avery asked Kick.

"No one knows," Kick replied.

"What do you mean? Didn't you go to that restaurant?"

"None of us eighth graders went there. He failed so many times; none of us thought he would ever do it."

"So why are you telling me all this?" Avery spoke again.

"Because we got his notebook out of his old locker," Hugh said as he shows Avery the journal. "It looks like you've figured out how to finish the omelet. If you're willing to take that risk, you could win that hat for Johnny."

"Let's do it."

()()()()()

Back at Mellowbrook High, Pantsy and Horace are lonely since Brad's out with Selena for a while. There's nothing to do for them, except today. While sitting alone by the tree during recess, Meg walked by and Pantsy immediately fell in love with her. He doesn't care what people say about her back in Quahog. He wants Meg. But how?

And then, his answer came when Principal Edgar gives Pantsy and Horace a newsletter. On that newsletter, the football team of Mellowbrook High is competing against the football team in James Wood High, Meg's old school. Just to think of it, Pantsy would win Meg's heart if he helps the Mellowbrook football team win. It's off to the locker room for Pantsy.

()()()()()

Avery meanwhile is being trained to finish the Eggtastic Challenge in one hour by Hugh, before doing the actual challenge. Kick, Gunther, Lila and Dukey also came to help as well. As Avery keeps on training, Gunther sang a little song to keep Avery focused.

_**Gunther: **__Where have all good men gone  
>And where are all the gods?<br>Where's the street-wise Hercules  
>To fight the rising odds?<em>

_Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
>Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need<em>

_I need a hero  
>I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night<br>He's gotta be strong  
>And he's gotta be fast<br>And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
>I need a hero<br>I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
>He's gotta be sure<br>And it's gotta be soon  
>And he's gotta be larger than life<em>

_Larger than life_

Several hours and one song later, Avery finally manages to finish the Eggtastic training in less than one hour. Everyone went happy at this.

"And now, the _real _challenge," Avery spoke. "TO THE RESTAURANT!"

()()()()()

Back in Mellowbrook High, the football teams of Mellowbrook High and James Wood High are competing against each other for the championship. When the football team and the cheerleaders of James Wood High see Meg with the football team and the cheerleaders of Mellowbrook High, they were jealous, even the popular cheerleader Connie D'Amico was jealous. Meg should have been rooting for James Wood High, not Mellowbrook High. Connie had felt she had been stabbed in the back by Meg and thinking that Meg is punishing James Wood High for all the abuse Meg had to put up with for years.

Anyway, Pantsy did make it to the team, but he kinda lacks the skills of being a football player. Although Pantsy had thought that playing football wasn't a good idea, especially for a loser like him, but on the bright side, he's doing it not only for the team, but for Meg as well. But what he didn't notice is that Meg however loves him too. But she didn't reveal it yet.

Throughout the game, Mellowbrook High and James Wood High are tied with 5-5 and Pantsy is the only player to have the ball. If he makes a touchdown, Mellowbrook High will win the championship. Using the skills that Brad had taught him over the years when it comes to tracking down Kick and Gunther for their Dillweed Bashing, Pantsy made a touchdown, thus winning the championship for Mellowbrook High. And the best part of him is that he actually won Meg's heart thus making James Wood High green with envy.

"This calls for a victory tune!" Pantsy cried.

_**Pantsy:**__ Now a woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussy  
>And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out is anything but fussy<br>But a woman who'll wait till the third time around  
>Head in the clouds, feet on the ground<br>She's the girl I'm glad I've found  
>She's my Shipoopi<em>

_Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi (__**Crowd:**__ The girl who's hard to get)  
>Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi (<em>_**Crowd:**__ But you can win her yet)_

_**Pantsy: **__Walk her once just to raise the curtain,  
>Walk around twice and you make for certain.<br>Once more in the flower garden,  
>She will never get sore<br>If you beg her pardon._

_**Crowd:**__ Do re me fa so la si  
>Do si la sol fa mi re do<em>

_**Pantsy:**__ Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin',  
>Get a squeeze back, that's fancy cookin',<br>Once more for a pepper-upper,  
>She will never get sore on her way to supper.<em>

_**Crowd: **__Do re me fa so la si  
>Do si do<em>

_**Pantsy:**__ Now little old Meg's a no gal as James Wood High can see,  
>Look at her now she's a go gal who only goes for me.<em>

_Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin',  
>Get a squeeze back, that's fancy cookin',<br>Once more for a pepper-upper,  
>She will never get sore on her way to supper.<em>

_**Crowd: **__Do re me fa so la si  
>Do si do<em>

_**Pantsy:**__ Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi (__**Crowd:**__ The girl who's hard to get)  
>Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi (<em>_**Crowd:**__ But you can win her yet)_

"Music Break!" Horace cried as the crowd and the football team of Mellowbrook High dance to the tunes, while James Wood High is getting angrier and angrier.

_**Everyone:**__ Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi  
>The girl who's hard to get<br>Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi  
>But you can win her yet<br>You can win her YET_

_Shipoopi!_

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Avery, Kick, Gunther, Hugh, Lila and Dukey drove back to the restaurant where Avery began her final attempt to finish the Eggtastic challenge in less than one hour.

"It's time," Hugh said as everyone got out of the car.

"Mr. Test," Avery spoke. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

"Really?" Hugh asked Avery.

"Really. You may be a jerk sometimes, but you're a good father."

Hugh gave Avery a smile.

"Now get in there and win that stupid hat for Johnny."

Avery nods as she enters the restaurant with the others following her. As Avery walks inside, the same waiter walks up to her.

"What can I get for you m'am?" asked the waiter.

"Bring me the omelet," Avery replied.

"Please order anything but that. I'm begging you as an adult here."

"Bring me the omelet."

The waiter sighed as he went to the kitchen and then gave Avery the Eggtastic challenge. He then sets the timer to one hour.

"You have one hour," the waiter said to Avery. "Go."

Avery then starts, this time by doing it in the way she had been trained back home. The waiter was shocked at Avery's strategy.

"No," the waiter cried as he walks towards Avery, but was stopped by Hugh, Kick, Gunther, Lila and Dukey.

"Let her finish the omelet," Hugh said to the waiter.

"Move." The waiter said to the group.

"Why don't you make us?" Kick replied.

The waiter snaps his fingers and out came a small army of waiters and cooks.

"Fight them off!" Hugh ordered his group. "Don't let one of them go near Avery."

But one waiter punches Hugh anyway. Avery continues on finishing the omelet as the group kept the waiters and the cooks away from her. By the time Avery finished, in less than one hour, the waiter was shocked.

"We were only trying to help you," he said which made Avery surprised.

"Say what now?" Avery spoke before disappearing into thin air.

Avery reappears but she wasn't in a restaurant. Instead, she was in some sort of chamber filled with different hats.

"Where am I?" Avery asked herself.

"You've reached the final test of the Eggtastic Challenge," replied an old man who wore a suit of armour. "Select your prize. But if you select the wrong one, you will die."

He motions Avery to look at a young skeleton who wore a golden crown that says _I'm Eggtastic. _

"Alex Kimberly?" Avery spoke.

"Choose wisely young one," the man said again.

Avery walks up to the table and exaimes the hats. All of them are one of a kind. How will she know which hat is the correct one? Then, something hit her. She remembered Johnny telling her that the _I'm Eggtastic _hat was a net hat that truckers wore all the time. She looks through all hats until she finally found the one Johnny was talking about. She picks it up and place it over her head. It did nothing to her.

"Your choice is fantastic," said the old man. "You're free to return to your world."

Avery nods as she once again disappears into thin air. As for the old man, he walks towards the door and opens it to reveal replicas of the Eggtastic net hats.

()()()()()

Avery returns to her world and rushes towards the hospital and more specifically, Johnny's room. Johnny is still in a coma.

"I hope this works." Avery spoke as she place the net hat over Johnny's head. A few seconds later, Johnny woke up.

"Avery," Johnny spoke. "You got me the hat."

"Yeah," Avery replied before introducing Kick, Gunther, Lila, Hugh and Dukey. "But I had some help along the way."

"We're just glad that you're okay," Hugh said to Johnny.

Before Johnny can speak, he saw a commercial in which the others watch as well.

_"Hey truckers! Do you like steak?" _said the TV narrator. _"Then you and your friend will enjoy the Meaty Challenge. Finish a 600 pound steak in less than an hour and you and your friend could win two pairs of T-shirts that says "Meaty Muscle" on it. Don't miss this moment!"_

"We've got to win that T-shirt!" Johnny cried which made the others disappointed.

"Hey Avery," Hugh spoke to Avery. "Do you think that taking off the hat would put Johnny back into a coma?"

"Only one way to find out." Avery replied.

The group reached their hands to the hat as Johnny backs away, looking scared as a kid.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

The old man is guarding the chamber filled with hats when Peter Griffin arrived.

"You've reached the final test of the Eggtastic Challenge," replied the old man. "Select your prize. But if you select the wrong one, you will die."

But Peter ignores the old man's warning as he foolishly picks the crown and placed it over his head. All of a sudden, Peter began to age and then rots to death.


	17. Widowmaker's Winter Wonderland 1

It is Christmas time in Mellowbrook as the citizens decorate their houses and trees with Christmas decorations, while some sang Christmas carols in the streets. In house 3161 at the cul-de-sac, the Buttowski family (all members) are decorating their Christmas tree in an awesome way.

"Is this the Christmas star?" Brad asked Kick while holding a white skull.

"No Brad. That's a Halloween decoration." Kick replied.

"Has anyone seen my Teena Sometimes Christmas doll?" Brianna whined. "I can't find her anywhere!"

"Now, now kids," Harold said. "Christmas is the time for giving, not getting."

"Anyway," Honey said. "Are you kids finished with your Christmas lists?"

The kids nodded as they gave Honey their Christmas lists. She was well surprised by Brad and Brianna's list, but when she looks at Kick's list, she was far more than surprised.

"Ancient Egyptian encyclopaedia?" Honey asked as she reads Kick's list. "And roller blades?"

"That's all I want for Christmas mom," Kick said.

"But why two things?" Avery asked Kick.

"To be honest, I'm not that greedy or spoiled like Brad and Brianna," Kick replied to Avery. "What did you put on your list?"

"A gun," Avery spoke. "And a hookah."

"That's it?"

"Yep. I don't really need anything else. All I need is a gun in which I can defend myself whenever I take one step out of the house."

"Nice."

"As for the hookah, the old one got worn out."

"Gather round kids!" Sally cried. "It's time to tell Christmas stories."

"And here's how it works," Honey said. "Grandpa Archie here is going to pick out a name from this top hat. Whoever he picks must tell a Christmas story."

"And it better not be lame," Harold replied.

Everyone nods as Grandpa Archie picks up a paper out from the hat. He unfolds it which reads,

_**Avery**_

"Looks like Avery's up," Harold said as Avery began her story.

"I call this one _**A Very Awesome Christmas**_" Avery began.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A Very Awesome Christmas<strong>_

In the small town of Mellowbrook, Kick Buttowski is as usual pulling off one of the greatest stunts ever - jump over a gigantic pool filled with electric eels and poisonous snakes, all to impress Kendall Perkins. But before I can tell you that story, I must tell you this story...

It all began one winter afternoon after school had ended as class president Kendall Perkins met up with an old friend of Kick Buttowski, Betty Randalls. She was just a normal girl minus the abusiveness of her wicked parents and so far after Betty had moved to Mellowbrook to reunite with Kick, she and Kendall were good friends and there's a bonus. Kendall no longer hates Kick but is unable to express her feelings towards him. The truth is that Kendall actually loves Kick more than anything in the world but what if a certain Wacky Jackie finds out. Everyone knows that Wacky Jackie is very envious of any girl who goes near Kick especially Betty since neither of them get along well.

"Betty," Kendall started as she and Betty stop at the mall to get some drinks. "There's something I like to confess."

"What's your confession?" Betty asked feeling clueless.

"I love Kick Buttowski."

"Love him? But I thought you hated him."

"That was the past Betty. This is the present. I have decided that I love Kick Buttowski no matter what."

"Okay then."

"Are you like mad or something?"

"Why should I be mad at that?"

"Because you're Kick's friend that is a girl."

"I may be Kick's friend but that doesn't mean that I am Kick's girlfriend. We're best friends Kendall and nothing more."

"Thanks Betty."

"Anytime Kendall but you better be careful."

"Why?"

"What if Wacky Jackie hears your confession towards me? She might get angry and everybody knows that she's in love with Kick and will do nothing to win his heart."

"Don't worry Bets. I don't think that Jackie comes here all the time."

But today, Kendall was proven wrong. Behind some large bushes at the benches, Jackie went furious. She overheard everything. She cannot believe that Kendall is in love with Kick Buttowski.

_Oooh that snobby witch! _Jackie thought angrily. _I'll save Kick from her no matter what and maybe someday, he'll thank me by marry me!_

()()()()()

The next day was Saturday. Kendall got up early and went to the mall to do some shopping. What's odd is that ever since she's gone outside, Kick is still inside. Before she went to the mall, she decided to see Kick. She knocks at the door and saw Honey Buttowski.

"Why hello Kendall," Honey said. "How can I help you?"

"Is Kick okay Mrs. Buttowski?" Kendall asked. "I don't mean to be a bit nosey but it feels weird to not have him outside doing stunts. Is he okay?"

"He's sick with the flu. He doesn't know how he got it but he was feeling fine yesterday."

"How long will Kick have to be inside?"

"The doctor says that Kick needs to be in bed for at least two weeks. I feel sorry for him today."

"Why?"

"At the mall, one of his idols Rock Callahan is signing autographs today only."

"Well thanks for telling me that Mrs. Buttowski."

"You're welcome and have a Merry Christmas."

"Thanks."

()()()()()

As soon as Kendall got into the mall, she saw hundreds of fans crowding at Rock Callahan who is busy signing autographs. After long waits, Kendall finally gets a signed picture of Rock Callahan. Rock had asked her why she wanted the autograph in which Kendall responded by saying that it is a gift to a friend who had a flu. As Kendall leaves, she is being followed by a jealous Jackie.

_You think that you can just send him something good Kendall? _Jackie thought while following Kendall. _Think again._

()()()()()

The trip back to Kick's house wasn't all bad. It's just a few blocks away. But before Kendall can walk towards the door, she is stopped by a jealous Wacky Jackie.

"Well, well, well," Jackie said while circling around Kendall. "What have we here?"

"Leave me alone Jackie," Kendall responded angrily. "It's none of your business."

"Oh but it is my business. I see that you have a signed picture of one of Kick's favorite idols am I right?"

"You were spying on me?"

"No. I'm trying to save my Kick from the likes of you."

And with that, Jackie snatches the picture off of Kendall's hand and rips it into pieces. Kick will be heartbroken at this.

"Consider this a warning Kendall!" Jackie said before walking away satisfied of her work.

"You do realized that you're making Kick heartbroken." Kendall said to Jackie. "That picture is what makes him happy ever since he has to spend two weeks in bed because of the flu."

"It's for his own good! And I can be a better nurse than you"

"It's not a competition Jackie. Get real!"

As Jackie is out of sight, Kendall deviously pulls out the same signed picture of Rock Callahan and placed it under Kick's door. She could see Honey giving the picture to a sick Kick who felt happier than ever. What's also new is that Kick is looking at her and gave her a warm-hearted smile. A smile that no one had seen on Kick recently. That is very rare.

But what Kendall didn't know is that Jackie saw the whole thing. She went furious at this since Kendall now has the upper hand. She cannot let Kendall be Kick's girlfriend. Not in a million years.

()()()()()

The next day, Kendall felt that maybe a signed picture didn't really boost up her love towards Kick. Maybe some chocolates would help since Kick is really sick with the flu. They might cheer him up.

As Kendall walks to the candy store, she is again followed by Jackie who is still determined to keep her out of Kick's life forever. Jackie waited outside as she sees Kendall buying a box full of caramel candies which are Kick's favorites.

"Those candies cost like ten dollars," Kendall said as she walks outside. "Good thing I have only ten dollars to come with me."

But before Kendall could walk to Kick's house, Jackie trips her, took the caramel candies and dumps them in the sewer.

"Hey!" Kendall yelled at Jackie. "I just paid ten dollars on that!"

"Oh well," Jackie sneered evilly. "I've just ruined your chance to win my Kick's heart which is for his own good. And don't even think about buying the second one Kendall because I'll be watching you all the time."

"No wonder you're called Wacky Jackie. Don't you know the true meaning of Christmas?"

"Yeah. Love, presents and competition."

"Well yeah but no. Christmas is all about giving, love, kindness and respect."

"Bah Humduck! I don't believe in those things. All I believe is that I'll kiss Kick under the mistletoe. HA!"

And with that Jackie walks away satisfied of her work leaving Kendall crying.

()()()()()

At school the next day, Kendall decided to make love poems for Kick since this is way easier and that no one is able to gain access to her papers. Still, Kick has the flu which means that he's unable to go to school.

_*My love, I have tried with all my being to grasp a form comparable to thine own, but nothing seems worthy;_  
><em>I know now why Shakespeare could not compare his love to a summer's day. It would be a crime to denounce the beauty of such a creature as thee, to simply cast away the precision God had placed in forging you.<em>  
><em>Each facet of your being whether it physical or spiritual is an ensnarement from which there is no release. But I do not wish release. I wish to stay entrapped forever. With you for all eternity. Our hearts, always as one.*<em>

_*I love the way you look at me, Your eyes so bright and blue. I love the way you kiss me, Your lips so soft and smooth.  
>I love the way you make me so happy, And the ways you show you care. I love the way you say, "I Love You," And the way you're always there.<br>I love the way you touch me, Always sending chills down my spine. I love that you are with me, And glad that you are mine.*_

_*I love you so deeply, I love you so much, I love the sound of your voice And the way that we touch. I love your warm smile And your kind, thoughtful way, The joy that you bring To my life every day. I love you today As I have from the start, And I'll love you forever With all of my heart.*_

"Well that's all I need for Kick," Kendall said as school was finally over. "Now all I need to do is send the poems to him."

But before Kendall can walk to Kick's house, Jackie (who has been following her) threw mud at her to blind her and while Kendall tries to wipe the mud off of her face, Jackie swipes the poems out of Kendall's hands and rips them into million pieces. As soon as Kendall is able to see again, she was horrified to see her three love poems shattered into pieces by no other than Wacky Jackie.

"You ungrateful, no-good, rotten, little creep!" Kendall yelled at Jackie. "HOW COULD YOU!"

"I'm doing what's best for Kick," Jackie replied again. "You stay the hell away from him! YA HEAR!"

"Yadda, yadda, yadda. Kick is not your man! Get real!"

Oh I am getting real. Friday night after school, there's a Christmas party and I'd like to kiss Kick Buttowski under the mistletoe! Get it?"

()()()()()

A few days later, Friday came. Kick is well again which means he can go to the Christmas party after school. In the party were kids from all grades dancing the night away while some were either mingling or goofing off while the music plays voiced by January Test (_**A/N: This will be used in future Christmas stories)**_.

_*Rocking around the Christmas Tree at the Christmas party hop  
>Mistletoe hung where you can see<br>Ev'ry couple tries to stop _

_You will get a sentimental feeling When you hear voices singing  
>"Let's be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly"<br>Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
>Have a happy holiday<br>Everyone's dancing merrily In a new old fashioned way _

_Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
>Let the Christmas Spirit ring<br>Later we'll have some pumpkin pie and we'll do some caroling _

_You will get a sentimental feeling  
>When you hear voices singing<br>"Let's be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly"_

_Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
>Have a happy holiday<br>Everyone's dancing merrily  
>In a new old fashioned way*<em>

"This is one awesome party," Kick said while mingling with his friends. "It's too bad I didn't get to help in the last few days because I was sick."

"Apology unnecessary," Kendall said. "You were awesome."

"Thanks."

"Anytime, so how did you get the flu anyway?"

"It turns out that on Saturday, the doctor told me that I must've gotten the flu by Brad and his smelly clothes. He must've kept throwing them at me all the time."

"Whoa. That's cruel."

"I know."

As Kick and Kendall continued on mingling, Gunther had a great idea - have Kick and Kendall kiss under the good old fashioned mistletoe. As Gunther sets up the mistletoe, he is being watched by no other than Wacky Jackie who is more furious than ever.

"Kick should be kissing me under the mistletoe!" Jackie said furiously as she tries to come up with a plan to break Kick and Kendall up once and for all.

After long minutes, Kick and Kendall were about to speak to each other again until a mistletoe floats above them. They know what that means. They have to kiss under the mistletoe.

"Come on Kick," Gunther supported Kick. "You know you wanna."

"Oooooohhh," choired the other children.

Kick and Kendall went nervous at this but instead decided to kiss anyway. They lean closer to each other and then, they finally kissed. All of the kids went jumping with joy as they danced merrily in the new old fashioned way. Well all but Jackie. She is the only one who went in tantrum yelling her voice out. She lost Kick to Kendall.

"It's not over yet," Jackie said to herself.

So Jackie grabs a bowl full of punch and dumps it all on Kendall - in front of Kick who went shocked and so does everyone else. As everyone is distracted (except Kendall), Jackie grabs a stunned Kick and kissed him on the lips. Her mission was a success.

"You're mine now Kick," Jackie said as she gives Kick another kiss. "And someday, you'll marry me."

"HEY!" Kendall yelled at Jackie who held Kick tightly like a teddy bear. "Get your hands off of Kick Buttowski!"

"Make me!"

And with that, Kendall grabs a pie and threw it at Jackie's face who quickly let go of Kick. Angry at this, Jackie threw a chocolate cake directly as Kendall as everyone else have an awesome food fight!

"FOOD FIGHT!" Gunther yelled as he threw a pie at an unnoticed Gordon Gibbles who angrily went straight home.

It seems that the food fight turns out to be better than usual and by the time the clock strikes 10, everyone went home. This was an awesome night so far, not because of the food fight but because of her love towards Kick and that kiss under the mistletoe. She had been thinking that if their relationship is to be steady, she has to act now before Jackie interferes yet again. She hasn't got a chance to sing him a song.

As she stops at Kick's house, she could see that Kick is already going to bed. Before he has the chance, Kendall broke into a song.

_*Faithful, remember that whatever I do_

_I'm always faithful my love_

_Faithful, with all my soul and thankful for you_

_Who came from heaven above_

_We'll dance tonight together on a world with me we'll find_

_So I'll be faithful and faithful as I promise to be_

_And you'll be for all mine*_

"That was elegant Kendall," Kick responded through the window. "You sing awesomely."

"You think?" Kendall responded while being a bit speechless."

"I'm sure of it. How about we sing together before morning comes?"

"I love to."

Kendall: *_Faithful*_

Kick: _*Forever*_

Kendall: _*Whatever I do*_

Kick: *_Remember I'm true*_

Gunther (hiding in the bushes): *_Remember that*_

Kendall: _*Faithful*_

Kick:_ *Forever* _

Kendall: _*And thankful for you.* _

Kick: _*I'll keep smiling through*_

Gunther:_ *Remember that!* _

Kick and Kendall: _*We may be apart now and then _

_But I'll hold you in my heart, _

_Till you're in my arms again! _

_Faithful forever, _

_I promise to be. _

_So always have faith in me*_

As Kick goes toe bed while Gunther and Kendall went home, Kendall thought to herself. This was indeed an awesome night.

* * *

><p>"And that's the end of my tale," Avery spoke. "The End."<p>

"Nice one," Grandpa Archie said to Avery. "And now let me pick out another person to tell the story."

Grandpa Archie picks up another paper out from the hat. He unfolds it which reads,

_**Kick**_

"Looks like Kick's up," Harold said

"His story better not be lame," Brad whined.

"It won't be lame," Kick replied. "Here's my tale…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Home Alone<strong>_

Kick knows it and so does everyone else in this family. He's in particular the runt of the litter. The shrimp who will never be as tall as other boys. The black sheep of the family who is unappreciated and somewhat unloved. All his parents focused on more often are Brad and Brianna. Well mostly Brianna since she won a lot of beauty pageants and that she is the only daughter in the family. It seems that Kick is completely invisible to the family. They see nothing within him.

It was one winter night at the Buttowski resident and the family is celebrating at dinnertime. The reason - Brianna has a pageant to compete tomorrow in Paris and the entire family is going there to spend their Christmas vacation.

"And when I win the pageant," Brianna kept talking for no particular reason as if she was doing a long speech. "I will be the most popular and most beautiful kid in the world!"

"That's very nice Brianna," said Honey as if she was mind controlled.

"Terrific sis," Brad said also mind controlled. "Just absolute perfect."

"Best one yet," said Harold also.

But Kick didn't say anything about Brianna's speech. He despises beauty pageants and all the activities his family does that Brianna wants. He should've at least respected her beliefs like a brother would do to his sister. He deeply loves his sister dearly, but it's her spoiled and self-centered personality that keeps him from loving her more often. His other family members are spoiling Brianna way too much and he's not going to spoil Brianna one bit.

"Well?" said Honey who looks disappointed. "Aren't you going to say something nice to Brianna?"

"I have nothing to say right now," Kick replied.

If Kick does have something to say to Brianna, he would tell her that she's a spoiled brat who always get what she wants and gets away with all the trouble she made thus putting the blame on others. But no. Kick decided to keep his mouth shut to avoid causing any trouble in the house.

"Don't be a smart alec dillweed!" yelled Brad. "You're part of this family and this family here is going to respect Brianna no matter what!"

Now this shocks Kick. There is no way the family is going to spend the rest of their lives pampering and spoiling Brianna like a queen.

"And keep on spoiling and pampering her for the rest of our lives?" Kick replied. "We all respect Brianna, but can she respect others in return?"

"That's no way to talk to your family like that!" Harold yelled. "We're going to Paris tomorrow and I expect everyone going. Do you understand?"

But Kick said nothing as he turns his back on his family and heads towards his room. As Kick was about to lie down, he notices something outside the window. He looked and saw the nasty neighbour Ms. Chicarelli. If rumors are true (as told by Brad and his goons) it was rumored that Ms. Chicarelli, out of anger, murdered her family. But the question is, why?

Downstairs, there was a knock at the door and Honey answers it. She saw a very fat man wearing glasses and is holding a dozen boxes of pizza. Behind him is a properly suited maroon cat.

"Pizza for the Buttowskis?" said the fat man.

"Oh how very thoughtful of you," said Honey as she took the boxes and puts them in the kitchen. "How much do I owe you and your friend here?"

"For the record m'am, it's 10 bucks."

"Keep the change boys."

"With pleasure."

As Honey paid up for the pizzas, Kick (who is coming downstairs) notices a golden tooth in the maroon cat's mouth. Just the sight of it (depending on where the light shines on) almost blinded him. It's pure gold alright but why would the cat have a gold tooth?

As soon as the fat man and the cat left, Honey calls out the family for pizza! Like greedy pigs, the entire family ate like dozens of slices and when Kick looks through the boxes, he discovered that his favourite kind - the cheesy one were already gone.

"Where's the cheesy slices?" Kick asked.

"In my body dillweed," Brad said while still eating. "You want some? I'll give you some."

And with that, Brad vomits on Kick's legs.

"Enjoy dillweed. Yeah Brad."

But now, Kick had lost his temper that he tackles Brad and pinned him to the ground causing a major mess in the kitchen. Their fight was short lived as Honey breaks her sons apart.

"Break it up you two!" Honey yelled. "Brad! Get the mop! Kick! Come with me!"

As Brad gets the mop, Honey drags Kick upstairs and into the attic room.

"The attic room?" Kick asked Honey. "I hate it there."

"Well that's too bad Clarence," Honey replied while using Kick's real name as reference. "For starting a fight, you're spending the night in there and I mean it."

"Why is it that I'm always blamed for?"

"Well that's because you always cause trouble in this family. There are five people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble. You're no better than Brad or Brianna. They're perfect, not you. You're just a complete mistake to be in this family."

"Oh yeah? Well, I don't care what you have to say or see because I just wished that I don't have to be in your family. I wished that all of you would disappear out of my life for good."

"You don't mean that Clarence? Do you?"

"Well I already did. Is that simple?"

"Just so you know, be careful what you wish for."

But Kick walks into the attic room while Honey closes the door behind her.

"I just wish that my family would disappear," Kick said before falling into a deep sleep.

()()()()()

The next morning, the entire family overslept and is packing like crazy because the hydro messed up their alarm clock overnight. Brianna kept on whining like a brat, Brad freaks out like crazy as Honey and Harold pack up their bags and make sure that the house is nice and clean and secured while they go out to Paris.

They rushed and rushed to get to the flight gate and stopped to see a stewardess.

"Did we miss the flight?" Honey asked.

"No m'am," said the stewardess. "You're just in time."

"Well we did it," said Harold as he and the other members of the family get into the plane. "Everyone's here and we're going to spend the rest of Christmas in Paris. What can go wrong on a day like this?"

But there's one thing the entire family completely forgot - Kick Buttowski. They accidentally left him home alone for the rest of Christmas. Does Kick know about this? Let's find out.

It's simple. Kick wakes up one morning and walks out of the attic room. His punishment is over thank you very much. But what's weird is that no one is home. It's just him and the house.

"Hello?" Kick cried.

No answer.

"Anyone?"

Still no answer.

"Brianna? Brad?"

Still no answer.

"Mom? Dad?"

And still no answer came.

"Huh? My family just disappeared?"

Then realization hits his head real hard. Thinking back all the mean things his family said to him like for instance, he's the runt of the litter, a disease, a complete mistake to be in the family, a loser and will always be a loser, one thing hit his head.

"I made my family disappear."

Then after 30 seconds of silence, Kick rose up and let out a huge scream for joy. His family had just disappeared from his life for good. He celebrates by doing awesome stunts inside the house, look through his family's stuff and watch a lot of movies that he is considered 'too young' to watch. One of the films that Kick mostly considered watching is _Angels With Dirty Souls _made somewhere between the 40s and the 50s. One of the scenes that Kick watches the most (and scares him a bit) was the part where when a man named Snakes appears and demands 10% from Johnny; but Johnny ends up shooting him.

_"Who is it?" asked Gangster Johnny._

_"It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff." replied Gangster Snakes._

_"Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here."_

_"All right, Johnny, but what about my money?"_

_"What money?"_

_"Acey said you had some dough for me."_

_"That's a fact? How much do I owe ya?"_

_"10%."_

_"Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"He's upstairs takin' a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. Hey, I tell ya what I'm gonna give 'you', Snakes."_

_Gangster Johnny pulls out a machine gun. "I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!"_

_"Oh crap."_

_"1... 2... 10!"_

_Gangster Johnny laughs manically while shooting Gansgter Snake dead. _

_"Keep the change, ya dirty animal!" said Gangster Johnny._

"You guys better come here and yell at me!" Kick shouted across the room. "I'm watching a movie I shouldn't be watching!"

But as usual, no respond.

"This is the best thing that has ever done in my life so far. Nothing can ruin this moment."

()()()()()

But on the other side of town, two bandits called the Wet Bandits are breaking into other people's houses while the owners are away on vacations. The bandits are the smart, human intelligent cat Mr. Mittens and the no-good, abusive, unintelligent fatass Peter Griffin.

"Well, well, well," sneered Mr. Mittens. "It seems that most of the neighbors have pretty good valuables inside their homes am I right Griffin?"

"Yeah boss," said Peter. "We're gonna hit on every single house in Dakota Sack and we'll make millions."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steal some more stuff will ya?"

"Oh and just so you know, I broke the water pipes leaving the water flowing in the house."

"YA BIG ASSHOLE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!"

"We're not called the Wet Bandits for nothing Mr. Mittens. It's our calling card."

"Ah shut up and grab some more valuable junk!"

"Okay."

()()()()()

Meanwhile at the plane, Honey is completely quite.

"You look a bit pale dear," Harold said. "What's troubling you?"

"We seem to be forgetting something. Did I turn off the coffee?"

"No. I did."

"Did I forget to pack Brianna's makeup stuff?"

"No."

"Did you lock the doors tight?"

"Yes."

"Did you keep the house secure from burglars?"

"Yes."

"Did you forget to bring the recorder?"

"No."

"Did you close the garage door?"

"That's one thing I forgot."

"No. That's not it."

"Then what are we forgetting?"

Honey sat for a moment and after a 30-second pause, she screams.

"KICK!"

()()()()()

Meanwhile back at home, Kick decided to go inside Brad's room and see what's interesting there. Nothing new. Just a pile of dirty clothes, food scattered all over the floor and posters of smokin' hot babes in their bikinis.

"Just the same," Kick said.

But suddenly, something caught Kick's eyes. His old skateboard (the one Brad took months ago) rested on top of Brad's really high shelves where it's impossible for anyone to reach.

"Ol' Red," Kick said with ease. "Stay where you are. I'll get you down."

So Kick climbs up the shelves until he reaches the top where he is reunited with Ol' Red.

"It's so good to see you again," Kick said as he hugs Ol' Red like a baby. "Wait'll you meet Ol' Blue. You and her are going to have a great time together."

But all of a sudden, the shelves began to wobble and then, it collapsed into pieces causing Kick and Ol' Red to fall to the floor. Kick's lucky that he's not hurt.

"Biscuits," Kick muttered. "How will I explain this to Brad now?"

But Kick then has second thoughts. Since his family disappeared from his life, he doesn't have to worry about getting pounded by Brad whenever things went wrong.

"Never mind. At least I got Ol' Red back."

()()()()()

Meanwhile at the Paris Airport, Honey is freaking out after realizing that she accidentally left Kick home alone.

"You meant to tell us that Kick is home alone?" Brad questions Honey. "I wish I was home alone."

"Why?" Brianna asked Brad.

"So that I can invite the ladies over anytime I want." Brad responded. "Yeah Brad."

"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard Bradley!"

"Now, now kids," said Harold. "Your mother is upset that your brother is accidentally home alone while we're away. But let's all pray that he'll be alright."

"Please officer," cried Honey to one of the airport officers. "Please send a police officer from Mellowbrook to check up on my son because I accidentally left him home alone and I don't know what to do now!"

"How old is your son?" asked the airport officer.

"13. Why?"

()()()()()

Back in the house, Kick is doing one of his usual stunts in the house until all of a sudden there was a knock at the door. It was the police officer just called to check up on Kick while his family is in Paris.

"Open up," cried the police officer. "This is the police and no harm will come to you if you open this door."

Thinking quickly, Kick runs upstairs and locks himself in his closet until the police officer. A police in front of his door? What the hell is happening to this world?

"Open up!" cried the police officer again. "This isn't funny."

But no answer.

"I'm warning you kid. This isn't a joke and neither is it funny!"

But again, no answer.

"Oh what the hell. I'm outta here. That woman at the airport is going nuts, telling people that her 13 year old son is home alone by accident and no one is actually home. Screw them guys, I'm going home."

And the police officer left which makes it safe for Kick to come out of the closet.

_That was close, _Kick thought. _A police officer in my home? What else is new?_

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Peter and Mr. Mittens are outside of Kick's house and are looking at it with ease through their van. Since no one is home, Peter and Mr. Mittens might have a chance to rob Kick's house easily. Tonight, they're gonna do it.

"But Mr. Mittens," cried Peter. "What if someone's in the house and is accidentally home alone? Like a watchdog or something."

"Nonsense Griffin," Mr. Mittens replied. "The entire Buttowski family is on vacation in Paris because of the stupid beauty pageant, and won't be back until like New Year's Eve or so."

"Okay but I didn't say I warned you."

"Ah shut up! You're no worse than that Brad kid and his freaky friends who are so unpopular that no girls wanna date either of them."

"But Brad actually has a girlfriend y'know."

"Which one? Kelly? Shannon? Fiona?"

"Selena sir."

"Oh the Asian one eh? She's hot."

"I know sir. I know."

"But why are we wasting valuable time taking about Brad's girlfriend when we _should_ be robbing houses in Dakota Sack and make off to Rio de Janerio like millionaires!"

"Sorry sir. So when are we doing it?"

"Tonight when everyone's asleep."

()()()()()

Nightfall came and everyone is sound asleep. It's the perfect time for Peter and Mr. Mittens to rob the Buttowski house.

But wait. What's that the Wet Bandits see?

Lights.

People.

Dancing. Dancing like drunken Irish folks at the tavern. Dancing to the beats of Christmas songs. They didn't notice that the people that they see _aren't _actually people. They're cardboard mannequins controlled by Kick to make sure that no one gets inside his house. Not on his watch.

"Well what do you know Mr. Mittens," said Peter. "Looks like someone is having a party there and we're not invited."

"Ah shut up ya big asshole," shrieked Mr. Mittens. "We'll do it tomorrow where no one is home."

"One more question. Do you think that the family just came back from...?"

And both said it at the same time, "Paris?"

And then, the Wet Bandits left.

()()()()()

The next day, Kick decided to buy some supplies to keep himself alive since he's home alone. Maybe a few grocery shopping wouldn't hurt him one bit. As he walks to the grocery store, he spots ol' Ms. Chicarelli. Scary as usual and beside her is her pet dog Oskar who barks so loudly that he made Kick run to the store instead.

He made it alright. Now all he needs so far is some food, water and all the other supplies that he can think of. It's a good thing to that he's using his dad's 'left behind' money otherwise; he'll be in hot water.

A few minutes later, Kick has gotten all the supplies that he needed and when he walks to the counter to pay, a cashier asks him a question that makes Kick look a bit sarcastic upon answering questions.

"How old are you kid?" asked the cashier.

"13," Kick replied.

"Where are your parents?"

"Dad's at work and mom's at home. She wants me to do some grocery shopping since she broke a leg this morning."

"Ouch. Are you here by yourself?"

"M'am. I'm 13 years old. Do you think that I'd be here _alone_ at a time like this?"

But the cashier said nothing. She just check out the supplies and receives cash from Kick who then walks home, unaware that he is being followed by the Wet Bandits in their van.

"Hey Mr. Mittens," Peter whispers. "That short kid is giving us weird looks."

"I think he's up to something," Mr. Mittens whispers back. "Let's follow him."

"Okay."

So the Wet Bandits followed Kick until they accidentally made a loud noise which caused Kick to turn around and face the Wet Bandits.

"Oh sorry about that kid," said Peter. "We didn't mean to do it."

"Like my fatass friend is saying," Mr. Mittens added. "We were sorry for scaring you to death."

"It's okay," said Kick. "It's-"

But before Kick can finish his sentence, something caught his eyes which made him more suspicious than ever. Mr. Mittens has a golden tooth in his mouth. The same one he saw two days ago before his family departed to Paris. Kick is stunned for a moment before heading back to the house looking scared.

"Well what do you know Mr. Mittens," Peter said again. "That kid is up to something."

"Shut up ya big asshole!" yelled Mr. Mittens.

But then, something hit his head. Kick's family is in Paris and there's no way the family would be back from Paris in just two days.

"Hey Peter," Mr. Mittens said again. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah," Peter said again. "We should tie the kid up and lock him in the van while we rob his house and all and then leave him to die in one of those ancient tombs in Egypt and no one's the wiser."

"No ya big asshole! That kid is home _alone_. We should take him out easily since he's _just_ a kid."

"Oh...uh?"

"Come on. We've go work to do."

"Yeah. Kids are afraid of things especially the dark."

"You're afraid of the dark too asshole."

"I AM NOT!"

So the Wet Bandits walk to the front door of Kick's house unaware that Kick is watching them. Thinking quickly, Kick plays the video of _Angels with Dirty Souls _using only the voice of Gangster Johnny to scare the bandits away.

"Knock, knock," said Peter childishly.

_"Who is it?" _asked "Gangster Johnny" (played by Kick by using the remote.)

_"_You're friendly neighbors Peter Griffin and Mr. Mittens,"

"G_et the hell outta here."_

"Now that's not very nice sir."

_"I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!"_

"Oh shit. RUN!"

"_1...2...10!"_

The clip of Gangster Johnny shooting made Peter and Mr. Mittens run away from Kick's house not bothering to look back for a while. Kick who is watching the whole time lip-synced "Gangster Johnny's" final lines.

"Keep the change ya dirty animal!"

()()()()()

At the airport, Honey decided to stay behind at the airport while Harold, Brad and Brianna continued on with the pagent.

"So when will the next flight to Mellowbrook be?" Honey asked one of the workers.

"Friday," said the worker. "Why?"

"My 13 year old son is accidentally left home alone without parent supervision. I need to get to him as soon as possible. I don't care if I have to take the bus, take the next flight to another country or hitchhike a ride from complete strangers. I just want to see him again and make sure that he's safe and sound."

"Okay then."

()()()()()

Back at home, Kick starts to feel a bit lonely and gloomy. Ever since he was home alone, he thought that being home alone was actually fun, but now look where it's gotten to him. Ever since the police officer, Ms. Chicarelli and the Wet Bandits came to his house for no apparent reasons (or so he thought) he had felt scared and unsecured.

He doesn't care if his family continued on mistreating him or get him in too much trouble for the things he didn't do. He just wants his family back. From Paris. As soon as possible.

It was nighttime and Kick decided to go for a stroll outside. Every house he passed by were happy families keeping themselves loved and secured like a happy family. Kick has wished that his family were like one happy family instead of an overcautious and neurotic father, an oblivious mother, a bully brother and a spoiled sister like he had as of now. He kept on wishing for it to happen. But it never did.

Afterwards, Kick stops at a cathedral and goes inside to pray God that his family would come back to his life. But he'll have to pray another time. What he saw were a singing choir singing so innocently like angels. It's like they're performing some kind of Christmas pageant. It softens Kick who then takes a seat to watch the choir sing like angels in the sky. He didn't notice that he was sitting next to Ms. Chicarelli. But what's unusual to Kick is that Ms. Chicarelli isn't all mean and grouchy. He can see the softness on her. He had never seen Ms. Chicarelli look so soft and gentle in his life so far.

"So you come to watch the pageant eh?" Ms. Chicarelli spoke.

"For a bit," Kick answered not daring to look at Ms. Chicarelli's eyes. "And you?"

"I came here to see my granddaughter singing. It's like I'm supporting her or something."

"Wait. I though that you murdered your family out of anger."

"Me? Murder my own family? Nonsense Kick. I could never do that. The rumors about me were all false. Those gossipers were just trying to piss me off."

"Then where is your family?"

"I only have a daughter who is my granddaughter's mother. But there is one case at which causes me to become nasty all the time."

"And what's that?"

"Me and my daughter got into an argument a few years ago. She out of anger decided to move her family somewhere far away from me so that I won't see either her or my granddaughter again. Also I lost visitation rights to see my granddaughter at family court. That must be the reason why I was so nasty and grouchy all the time. And your family?"

"They left me behind while they go to Paris because Brianna had a beauty pageant to complete. At first I was overjoyed to be home alone because my no-good family disappeared. But then, I felt that being home alone wasn't always fun. There are two people that are scaring the biscuits out of me as if they're trying to kidnap me or something."

"Are those two people a maroon cat and a fat man?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Those two are the notorious Wet Bandits who rob houses while owners are away on vacation. Your house is bound to get robbed if you don't do something about it."

"But what can I do? I'm only 13 years old?"

"Don't worry Kick. Imagine that you're in the movies and you're trying to catch the criminals. Think like the heroes in the movies and you're bound to catch the Wet Bandits no problem."

Kick nods as he leaves the cathedral and hurries off to his house. No damage so far for now.

"It's my house," Kick said looking confident. "And I have to defend it."

So Kick went to work on the booby traps to be set all over his house such as slippery stairs, paint bucket swings, and ornaments on the floor in hopes of catching the Wet Bandits. It took him almost 3 hours to set the traps up right so that neither Peter nor Mr. Mittens can get off that easily.

Meanwhile outside, Peter and Mr. Mittens were ready. Tonight's the night to rob Kick's house and get away with it.

"This is gonna be sweet," said Peter childishly.

"Shut up asshole," Mr. Mittens said coldly. "There's a kid in this house and we're not letting him off the hook that easily. Ya ready?"

"I was born ready!"

"Good. Let's roll!"

So Mr. Mittens and Peter went to separate directions. Mr. Mittens walks up to the front door as usual and knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Kick confidently.

"It's Santa Claus," replied Mr. Mittens. "And I have an awesome present for you if you open the door?"

"Leave it inside the house. I'm too sick to move."

Mr. Mittens shrugs as he tries to open the front door.

But...

His paws went bright red and are burning like crazy.

"YEOW!"

Mr. Mittens backed away from the door to blow the burn off of his hand.

But...

He slips and falls onto the ground because the stairs appeared to be very slippery and icy. And what else is in stored for him? He apparently landed in a puddle of sticky glue. This means that Mr. Mittens is stuck in the pavement.

"I'm gonna kill that kid," muttered Mr. Mittens as he painfully got himself unstuck. "Even if I have to sacrifice my nine lives if I have to."

As for Peter, he decided to sneak inside the house through the back door. He too tries to pry open the door.

But...

Once he opened the door, a metallic boot kicks him in the private and then a giant hammer hammered his head causing him to fall to the ground. Peter tries to get up but he slips on ice and falls down again, hurting his back.

Mr. Mittens again, decided to go through the window to get inside. He is lucky that the window was open.

"Piece of cake," said Mr. Mittens.

But wait.

What he didn't notice is that his hat gets burned by a blowtorch when entering through the window although he didn't bother to see it until he looked at a nearby mirror. He screams as he tries to put out the fire. He's lucky that there's a bucket of water nearby but by the time he puts out the fire, bucket had triggered another booby trap. He gets 3 staples stuck in his rear end, groin and nose, from a staple gun from across the room.

"Wherever that kid is," muttered Mr. Mittens as he painfully get the staples out. "I'm so gonna murder him!"

Peter on the other hand decided to also sneak through the window but what he didn't notice is that a pile of really hot coals are on the floor. When his feet made contact with the coals, his feet went from perfectly normal to painfully hot. What's also new is that the coals burn off his shoes revealing burnt and bare feet. Peter screams as he gets out of the windows and slips on the ice again.

This time Peter sneaks through a different window but it seems that Kick had placed a pile of fragile ornaments lying on the ground. Peter (still barefoot) steps on one and all of a sudden, he yells in pain as blood comes out from both of his feet. But on the bright side, he's inside the house. And look who he sees? Mr. Mittens injured and his head burned.

"Why is your head on fire?" Peter asked.

"And why are you barefoot asshole?" Mr. Mittens responded.

"Hey guys!" yelled Kick from upstairs. "Are you ready to give up or are you thirsty for more?"

"Let's get that kid and murder him!" hissed Mr. Mittens.

"Way ahead of you," replied Peter.

Peter and Mr. Mittens try to get Kick but they slipped on scattered marbles. A few seconds later, they made their way to the stairs but Kick has the upper hand as he swings some of the paint buckets (inside are rocks) directly at Mr. Mittens first, then Peter and then both until Kick has no more to swing at.

"I'm still gonna murder him," cried Peter. "I know what I'm gonna do exactly. I'm gonna mummify him alive and bury him under 10 feet of dirt."

"Shut up asshole," yelled Mr. Mittens. "Let's grab the kid and we'll deal with him later."

But before the bandits can go closer to Kick, a large pipe whacks them both and sends them back downstairs again.

"Are you ready to give up?" Kick asked the bandits.

The bandits shook their heads in respond.

"Wait'll we get our hands on you!" Mr. Mittens screamed.

"Better catch me first!"

So while Peter and Mr. Mittens get to their feet, Kick hurries off to Brad's room and escape through the window where he flees to an unsecured house (the same one Peter and Mr. Mittens robbed days ago.) He is luck that there's a working phone there so he makes a call to the police about the Wet Bandits and where will they'll be.

It seems that Kick's plan is working.

But...

He gets caught big time by Peter and Mr. Mittens.

"Well, well, well" said Mr. Mittens. "Looks like you're out of luck kid. What shall we do with you now?"

Before Peter and Mr. Mittens can decided, Ms. Chicarelli knocks them out cold with a rake from behind.

"Sweet dreams wet bandits," said Ms. Chicarelli. "Cause you'll need it in prison in about 10 to 20."

"Thanks Chicarelli," Kick replied.

"Don't mention it Kick. About the bandits?"

"Oh don't worry. I've made a call earlier and they're due to come in about 15 minutes or so."

"We can live with that."

()()()()()

The next day, Kick has finished cleaning up the house in hopes that his family return, but they didn't. So he waited and waited for the front door to be opened. And it did. Honey came walking through the door and saw Kick sitting at the staircase.

"I've missed you," Honey said to Kick.

The mother and the son embraced in a hug. Both have vowed that they'll never be apart again.

A few days later, Harold, Brad and Brianna came home from Paris and they are so happy that Kick is alright. Kick told them everything minus his conflict with the Wet Bandits.

Things were swell on Christmas. Until...

"DILLWEED! What the hell did you do to my room?"

* * *

><p>"And there you have it folks," Kick finished his story. "The End."<p>

"Worst story EVER!" Brad yelled.

"I think Kick's story is good." Brianna added. "And funny too."

"We all agreed Brianna," Avery replied. "Kick's story is by far the best one yet."

"And now my final draw," Grandpa Archie said as he pulls out the last paper from the hat. He unfolds it which reads,

_**Grandpa Archie**_

"Well what do ya know?" Grandpa Archie said. "I've picked myself. Anyway, here's my tale. And in this tale, romance is the theme…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Once Upon A Wintertime<strong>_

_*Don't you kind of love December  
>When the merry snow bells chime<br>We're together once upon a wintertime_

_Every single snowflake falling  
>Plays a jingle down your spine<br>Lovely weather once upon a wintertime_

_On a frozen pond folks are swaying  
>Sweetheart, who cares<br>We'll have more fun sleighing behind two chestnut mares_

_When we say goodbye December  
>Merry bells no longer chime<br>We'll remember once upon a wintertime*_

It was a lovely December afternoon. Kick and Kendall are sleighing behind two chestnut mares while finding an empty frozen pond to go ice skating just the two of them. Along the way, they meet Sly Cooper and Carmelita Fox who are also going ice skating.

"Need a lift?" Kick asked.

Sly and Carmelita nod as they enter the sleigh. As the two pair of couples continues on with the ride, they were pulled to another stop. This time is Dukey the Dog and Duchie the Dog. They are also going ice skating.

"Can we come too?" Dukey and Duchie asked.

"Not at all," Kendall replied. "Hop in."

Now three pair of couples continued on with the ride until finally, they found an empty frozen pond. Sly and Carmelita jump out of the sleigh and landed in the snow. Dukey and Duchie unexpectedly flew off the sleigh and sat on a tree. As for Kick and Kendall, they, like proper and well mannered people, walk out of the sleigh. Then Kick pulls something from his jumpsuit. A pair of ice skates for Kendall.

"For me?" Kendall asked when she saw the skates.

Kick nods as he helps her try on the skates. After Sly and Carmelita got out of the snow, Sly took a moment to unexpectedly look under Kendall's long skirt (Kendall has bloomers on folks) only for his eyes to get covered by Carmelita.

"Males," Carmelita said looking annoyed.

As soon as everyone is set, Kick, Kendall, Sly and Carmelita ice skated while two chestnut mares, Dukey and Duchie watched while sitting in the sleigh.

_*Don't you kind of love December  
>When the merry snow bells chime<br>We're together once upon a wintertime_

_Every single snowflake falling  
>Plays a jingle down your spine<br>Lovely weather once upon a wintertime*_

Kick gives Kendall a little gift. He skated hard two hearts and an arrow shooting on them. Sly did the same for Carmelita only that he did it on the snow.

_*On a frozen pond folks are swaying  
>Sweetheart, who cares<br>We'll have more fun sleighing behind two chestnut mares_

_When we say goodbye December  
>Merry bells no longer chime<br>We'll remember once upon a wintertime  
>Remember December, once upon a wintertime*<em>

"Wanna see an awesome stunt?" Kick asked Kendall.

Kendall nodded as Kick makes a run at the end of the pond with Sly trying to do the same. Sly stops when he sees Kick coming back and makes a run for it. He's lucky that he's not hurt, but I can't say the same for Kick. He did an awesome stunt, but he skid which made snow and they flew...

...on Kendall's face.

Kendall went furious at this, "I can't believe you did that to me Clarence."

"Sorry," Kick apologized as he wipes the snow off of Kendall who then trips and falls on her butt.

Sly also slips from the snow and accidentally trips Carmelita thus sending both of them sliding to the snow. They weren't hurt but Carmelita was pissed off. Kick managed to get Kendall back at her feet but again, Kendall falls and one of her skates broke. Now Kendall is angrier than ever.

"We're finished here," Kendall said before storming off while kicking off her other skate.

It was the same for Carmelita but she did instead placed a snowball on Sly's head.

"Wait up!" both Kick and Sly yelled at Kendall and Carmelita.

The boys tried to plead, beg and apologize to the girls but the girls, being furious just stomp their feet and walk away from them. Dukey and Duchie did not see that coming.

"Females," both Sly and Kick said gloomily.

As the boys and the girls walk away from each other, Kick gloomy sunk his skates hardly on the two hearts he made for Kendall. He wasn't in an angry mood. He's just heartbroken. Sly however is actually in an angry mood.

"Females," Sly said angrily while looking at the two hearts he made for Carmelita on the snow. "They're bunch of brats anyway."

Sly kicks the two hearts from the snow only to injure his foot because the snow is on top of the log. This caught both Kendall and Carmelita's attention. They smiled at their boyfriends. Kick and Sly saw this but do they smile back?

No.

Instead, they frowned and turn their backs on them which cause the girls to do the same.

"Males," said Kendall and Carmelita.

As Kendall and Carmelita walk away, Carmelita accidentally bumps into a sign and continues on walking. She didn't know that the sign reads,

_**Danger. Thin Ice.**_

This caught Sly's attention this time. He took off the sign and tries to warn Kendall and Carmelita but to no avail. This made Sly so furious that he bashes the sign on thin ice. He made the slightest mistake of his life. The ice broke into several pieces trapping both Kendall and Carmelita in separate pieces.

"HELP!" cried Kendall and Carmelita. "HELP!"

Kick and Sly wasted no time to get to the bridge to sweep their girls to safety. The plan however backfired as the boys took the girls' mittens instead and the girls end up fainting. Kick and Sly hurried to the sled to reach for their girls but they accidentally trip over a rock causing both of them to fly into the air and land in the snow, knocked out in the process. Dukey and Duchie saw this and they have to think fast. Quick thinking, they transform themselves into Super Dukey and Super Duchie.

"Quick Super Duchie," said Super Dukey. "Make the reins loose so that we can wrap it around the ice Kendall and Carmelita are on."

"Why?" questioned Super Duchie.

"There's a huge waterfall up ahead."

"Right."

True to Super Dukey's words, there is indeed a huge waterfall up ahead. If the ice that Kendall and Carmelita are in falls into the waterfall, they would surely fall to their icy deaths. So Super Dukey and Super Duchie loosen up the reins on the mares and wrap them around the ice just before it went over the waterfall.

"Pull!" cried Super Dukey as he, Super Duchie and two chestnut mares pull the reins to get Kendall and Carmelita to safety.

The plan was successful as Kendall and Carmelita's bodies slide from the ice to the laps of their frozen boyfriends. Kendall and Carmelita have gotten to their senses and hug Sly and Kick so tight that they unfroze. As for Dukey and Duchie, they return back to normal and watch as Kendall and Carmelita kiss their boyfriends.

It was sundown and it was time to go home. Sly, Carmelita, Dukey and Duchie stayed behind while Kick and Kendall head back home to Mellowbrook, but not before Kendall gave Kick a kiss.

*_On a frozen pond folks are swaying  
>Sweetheart, who cares<br>We'll have more fun sleighing behind two chestnut mares_

_When we say goodbye December  
>Merry bells no longer chime<br>We'll remember once upon a wintertime*_

* * *

><p>"And they lived happily ever after," Grandpa Archie finished his story.<p>

"That was beautiful Grandpa," Kick said. "Totally beautiful."

"Well we've all learned something here. Christmas isn't exactly about getting. It's about giving."

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Kick and Kendall are ice skating one evening while singing a little romantic song.

_*Don't you kind of love December  
>When the merry snow bells chime<br>We're together once upon a wintertime_

_Every single snowflake falling  
>Plays a jingle down your spine<br>Lovely weather once upon a wintertime_

_On a frozen pond folks are swaying  
>Sweetheart, who cares<br>We'll have more fun sleighing behind two chestnut mares_

_When we say goodbye December  
>Merry bells no longer chime<br>We'll remember once upon a wintertime*_


	18. Johnny's Dilemma

_**Johnny's Dilemma**_

_A/N: For the remainder of this fanfic, summaries will be shown either at the end of previous stories or before current stories._

_**Summary: **__Johnny becomes a talented singer but forgets all about Avery after being knocked out by a flower pot._

Avery sat on her chair nevously as the psychologist walks inside his office. Avery had never felt so nervous before. Of couse she was an operative at the Kids Next Door. She was always serious and kept her temper in check. Never in her life, aside from 'certain' situations, had she ever been so nervous. Usually at these situations, she would talk to Mr. Sin since he always have solutions to every problem in Mellowbrook, whether the problem deals with physical harm towards her family, accused murders performed by Lois Griffin who _once _framed Billy Stumps, or other problems Avery may face. But her problem right now was not going to be exposed to Mr. Sin. Whatever Avery's recent problem is, Mr. Sin cannot help her that easily. When the psychologist took his seat, Avery clutched a red flower tightly. She doesn't know why she had the flower with her, but the flower may be the reason to her proble,.

"Now then Avery Buttowski," the psychologist said to Avery. "In your own words, tell me what happened."

"Well doctor," Avery spoke. "I came to tell you about my boyfriend, Johnny."

"Now, now Avery. No names."

"Right."

_**5 weeks earlier**_

It was a fantastic day as Johnny and Avery were coming home after spending the day doing stunts and playings arcade games at the game store. It was very awsome.

But not very far, up on the 99th window of a building rested a beautiful red flower on a pot. Unaware of what Johnny and Avery are putting themselves into, the flower pot tumbled over and knocked Johnny unconscious.

"Johnny!" Avery cried. "Are you alright?"

Johnny regains his consciousness and looks at Avery in a strange way. Still blank, Johnny heard a voice inside his head.

_"You are the greatest singer in the world Johnny Test," _said the little voice. "_Your voice will be excellent."_

True to the voice's words, Johnny got up, did a grand bow and sang a song, in a most beautiful voice anyone could ever imagine.

_**Johnny: **__When you wish upon a star  
>Makes no difference who you are<br>Anything your heart desires  
>Will come to you<em>

As soon as Johnny finished his song, he saw Avery clapping happily.

"That was beautiful Johnny," Avery cheered. "I'm so proud of you."

But Johnny didn't say anything to her. Instead he gave her a cold, icy stare. Then something hit Avery. Johnny doesn't remember her.

"Don't you remember me?" Avery asked Johnny.

But before Johnny can speak, a suit-wearing man approaches and saw Johnny.

"Hey there kid!" said the man. "I'm the theatrical agent. How would like to be famous?"

"That would be delightful my good man." Johnny replied as the man took Johnny to his office, leaving Avery alone in the streets.

The red flower stood in Avery's feet which now symbolizes Avery's lost love. She kept it with her, knowing that she will never see Johnny again after that moment. Except in advertisments, labels, newspapers, TV and the internet in which she can see him.

_**Johnny: **__If your heart is in your dream  
>No request is too extreme<br>When you wish upon a star  
>As dreamers do<em>

Johnny's golden voice on TV and the internet only made it harder for Avery to bear. For the next few days, Avery couldn't sleep. She couldn't eat. She didn't want to live any longer. She was going crazy, mad, jealous, and out of control. But she snaps out of it upon seeing Johnny on TV.

_"That's right cool cats, Johnny will be singing in public tonight at downtown!" _said the TV narrator. _"Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime moment!"_

This was Avery's chance to get Johnny back. She rush to get herself ready in order to get him first. But she was running out of time as she had to avoid Kyle's non-stop talking. So she skateboarded to downtown, but when she got there, she was too late. There was a hugh line waiting. By the time Avery walks to the ticket booth, she was too late again. The tickets were sold out.

So she waited at the rear, hoping to see him. But on her first try, a lot of fans blocked her way. For the next couple days, Avery decided to see Johnny, but she must go through the doorman. She tried various attemps. Disguises, pleading and by force. But like always, she was kicked out.

As Avery walks home after being kicked out for the twenty-fifth time, she met Johnny, face to face.

"Johnny!" Avery cried. "I've missed you so much. Please come back to me."

But like always, Johnny gave Avery a cold, icy stare.

"Please Johnny. I'm begging you with my heart and soul!"

But Johnny walks away, leaving Avery alone again. But she was determined to get Johnny back.

()()()()()

"...and after I've gained control of myself, I decided to come see you," Avery finished her problem. "For a solution to my problem."

"Well it's very clear that a hit on the head have caused your boyfriend to undergo mental and physical change." said the psychologist. "I can help you, but there's a catch."

"What catch?"

"You have a big decision to make. Do you want the world to have him as a singer but lose him forever, or have Johnny back to yourself but have the world lose him forever? It's either _the world or you_?"

"Me, me, me!"

Avery then smashes the globe real hard with her bare hand.

"_ME_!" Avery yelled.

"Please calm yourself," said the psychologist. "Here is my advice. I suggest that you put that same flower in another pot and while he's singing, you place that pot over his head. Now, he's playing tonight, so it's best to go backstage to regain his memories."

"Thank you doctor." Avery said as she leaves the office. "I'll do it tonight."

()()()()()

That night, Johnny is performing again as Avery successfully went past the guard and climbed up to where it is possibly the best height to drop the flower pot on Johnny.

_**Johnny: **__Fate is kind  
>She brings to those who love<br>The sweet fulfillment of  
>Their secret longing<em>

_It's either the world or you? _Avery heard the psychologist's statement. Avery felt guilty for having the world to lose its beloved singer, but she really want's Johnny back. If she had to choose between the world and herself, she'd chose herself.

_**Johnny: **__Like a bolt -_

She gathers her courage and drops the pot on Johnny's head whose voice then reverts to normal before he can finish the verse.

_**Johnny: **__-out of the blue  
>Fate steps in and sees you through<br>When you wish upon a star  
>Your dreams come true<em>

But this twisted the audience's reaction. Instead of a warm applaud, they booed at Johnny for his horrible voice and they even booted him out of the stage. But at least this time, he landed on a pillow that Avery planted once after she dropped the pot on Johnny.

"Did somebody got the number of that truck?" Johnny said as he came to his senses. "Cause that really hurts."

"Johnny." Avery said in a calm voice.

Johnny looked up and saw Avery who gave him a smile. Instead of giving her a cold, icy stare, Johnny sweeps Avery off her feet and kisses her.

"Avery my sweetheart," Johnny said as he kept kissing Avery. "Where have you been all this time?"

"It doesn't matter now," Avery said. "Let's go home.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Kick and Gunther are at the brick wall.

"So tell me Kick," Gunther asked Kick. "How did Avery get to her senses from the past five weeks?"

"That's easy Gunther," Kick replied. "All she did is seek help from the psychologist and got Johnny back."

"Oh."


	19. Star and the Viking

_**Star and the Viking**_

_**Summary**__: Gunther visits a redneck bar in the outskirts of town where he meets Star, a former popular girl from Amity Park who has a talent for singing. He then becomes Star's manager and makes her famous, unaware that Star had fallen in love with him, despite his age._

"Gunther!" Helga cried at the BattleSnax. "It's time to wash the dishes or it's collecting eggs from the beast!"

"Sure thing mom," Gunther replied gloomily as he walks towards the kitchen.

"Gunther!" Magnus roared. "When you're done with the dishes, help me fix the roof of the BattleSnax! We've got water leaking from the roof and complaints from the customers."

"Sure."

Gunther gloomily washes the dishes in the kitchen. There were a lot of dishes to wash which would take him about 3 hours or so. His best friend Kick is out of town for three days or maybe more. If he was here, Gunther wouldn't be so gloomily.

"Quit being so glum and act like a man!" Magnus roared at Gunther. "You're a Viking! Act like one!"

After spending three hours of washing the dishes and another three hours of fixing the roof, Gunther decided that it was best for him to take a little walk to get some more exercise. He walked and walked but then he was unaware that he's getting himself lost in the fog which came unexpectedly.

"That's some mighty fog there," Gunther said as he tries to see through the fog.

When the fog clears, Gunther finds himself in the outskirts of town where there's always trouble. Drugs, violence and sex combined. To be more specific, Gunther is standing right in front of a redneck bar entitled _**Beer Bucks.**_ Out of curiosity, Gunther walks inside the redneck bar, unaware of his own age. This bar may be well suited for rednecks and Vikings like Gunther, but it's not suited for very young teenagers like Gunther.

But let's face it. Despite his age, Gunther didn't care about the trouble he's getting himself into. He just wants the stress he had to put up with to go away.

Gunther asked the bartender to give him a can of Cheetah Chug which he did without questions asked. As Gunther drinks his drink, the announcer walks up on stage with a microphone in his hands.

"Our next act is our very own singing waitress, Star!" the announcer said which made the audience cheer. "So I'm afraid that drinking services will be stopped for a few moments."

The audience booed at this as a young blond girl, who wore a white T-shirt, red pants and a flower over her head walks up on stage.

"Thank you," said Star. "Tonight I'd like to try something a little different. It's a song I wrote while leaving my old town."

_**Star: **__Work all day for some old man  
>Sweating break your back. <em>

"Yeah," Gunther cried.

_**Star: **__And you go home to your castle,  
>But the king won't cut you slack.<em>

"Very true," Gunther replied.

_**Star: **__That's why you're losing' all your hope  
>That's why you're a little chubby<em>

_That's why you flipped your pickup truck  
>Right off the interstate.<em>

"That's right," Gunther said. "Except for the pickup truck though. I flipped a house instead."

_**Star: **__There's a lot of bull they hand you,  
>There's nothing' you can do,<br>Your parents don't understand you, but I do.  
>No, your parents don't understand you, but I do.<br>I said no one understands you but I do. _

The audience applaud a Star puts on her apron and resumes her work as a waitress.

"Hey," Gunther cried as he walks up to Star. "I've got something to tell you."

"Yes?" Star replied.

"Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before."

"Why thank you dear stranger. What's your name anyway?"

"Gunther Magnuson."

"My name's Star."

"That's an awesome name."

"Oh you think so?"

"Yep. Say aren't you from Amity Park or something?"

"I used to be from Amity Park."

"Why run away from Amity Park."

"Why you don't wanna know Gunther. You don't know what it feels like to be a satellite for some popular girl."

"Don't take this too serious Star. I'm a wingman for instance."

"Oh I find it very different than being a satellite."

"Well I've gotta go now before my parents kill me for being out too late."

"I understand Gunther. Be back anytime now."

Then Gunther left to return home.

()()()()()

Three days later.

Gunther is humming the song that Star had played at the redneck bar three days ago. He just can't get it out from his Norse head. Most of the other kids are worried about him. Even Kick is worried the most.

"What's up with you?" Kick asked Gunther. "You don't look the same."

"Oh nothing personal here," Gunther replied in a merry tune. "Just a little song I listened to three days ago. I just can't get it out of my head."

"Who sang that song?"

"Some blonde girl named Star."

"Maybe you should ask her for a copy in case you don't know the lyrics."

"That's a great idea Kick."

()()()()()

Gunther ran back to the redneck bar he went to three days ago, but there's no sight of Star anywhere.

"Excuse me," Gunther asked the bartender. "Where's Star?"

"She went back home." The bartender replied.

"Where's her home?"

"She lives in some sort of pink trailer in the woods by the lake."

"Is it far?"

"Nope. It'll take you fifteen minutes to get there."

Gunther nods as he went off to find Star's trailer.

()()()()()

Fifteen minutes later, Gunther alone found Star's trailer in the woods. It wasn't easy to find her trailer though. He had to get past angry bears and wildlife in order to remain alive. While still outside, Star (who is in the trailer) saw him and went outside to meet him.

"Hello again Gunther," Star said cheerfully. "What brings you here?"

"I can't get your song out of my mind," Gunther replied. "It's been stuck in my head for at least three days."

"I see."

"Well, if it isn't too much trouble, do you have a copy of that song? I seemed to like it a lot."

"Oh I'm sorry Gunther. That song is all in my head."

"Well then how about we crack your head open and scoop out those songs?"

"You don't mean killing me now do you?"

"No that's not what I mean Star. We should go to the Records store and have your song recorded."

"I like where this is going amigo."

So Gunther and Star left the trailer and went to a cheap record store where they are greeted by a nerdy man.

"My name's Ned," said Ned. "How may I help you?"

"This lady here likes to record a song on a CD please," Gunther replied.

"She does eh? Follow me."

Gunther and Star follow Ned to the recording room where Star plays her song again on a CD, for 25 cents only.

"Well if you want it to be heard on a radio, go see Rowdy Remington who owns a radio station downtown." Ned said to Gunther and Star. "He'll be glad to have that song heard on the radio."

"Well Gunther?" Star asked Gunther. "It's your quarter."

"Let's do it." Gunther said. "To the radio station!"

()()()()()

At the radio station...

"I'll be overjoyed to have your song played in one of my radio stations," Rowdy said as he puts Star's CD inside the radio. "It's about time something new just happened. All we have recently are same old music."

"This is going to be awesome," Gunther said to Star as Star's music began to play.

"If this went successful, will you be my manager?" Star asked Gunther.

"I do!"

()()()()()

Brad, Pantsy and Horace are beating up a nerd when Star's music is heard from a neighbor's house. Upon listening to it, the boys stop beating up the nerd and gave him a hug.

()()()()()

In the Ghost Zone…

"I thought I told you never to touch my weapons!" Skulker yelled at Box Lunch.

"I couldn't help myself!" Box Ghost defended himself.

Skulker was about to strike until they heard Star's song from Technus' radio.

"Country music sucks!" Technus whined.

"No it isn't!" Box Ghost replied. "I think it's beautiful."

"I agree with the box ghost," Skulker said as he lets go of Box Lunch. "Sorry about earlier Box Ghost."

"Eh it's no big deal anyway."

()()()()()

Gunther, Kick, Johnny, Avery, Kendall and Jackie are listening to what seems to be the end of Star's song on the radio in their hangout in the Gully.

"So what do you guys think?" Gunther asked the gang.

"I guess country music isn't all bad," Kick replied. "In fact, it's AWESOME!"

"Country music sucks!" Johnny whined. "Rock and roll is actually better."

"So what does this Star girl look like?" Jackie asked Gunther. "She better not make her move on my Kick!"

"Who says anything about me being yours?" Kick replied. "It's not going to happen."

"I bet she's fat and ugly and everyone hates her." Jackie said again. "Just like Meg Griffin."

"Star's not fat and ugly," Gunther replied. "She's beautiful, even more so than Connie D'Amico and Lois Griffin combined."

"When did you met her?" Avery asked.

"At the redneck bar in the outskirts of town. Anyway, I gotta go meet Star now."

"Why?" Kendall asked.

"I agreed to be her manager and she's going to help me find some manager clothes to fit in with the in-crowd."

Then Gunther left.

()()()()()

At the mall, Gunther saw Star waiting at the front ot the store called _**Western Style.**_

"Hi Gunther," Star said cheerfully. "Look what I've got for you."

Star gives Gunther a white and blue cowboy suit and a hat. When Gunther trys it on, it fits him perfectly.

"So what do you think?" Star asked Gunther.

"I think it's pretty cool," Gunther replied. "In fact, it matches the theme of your song."

"I'm glad you like it Colonel Gunther."

"Colonel Gunther?"

"Yep, that's your new alias. What do ya think?"

"Colonel Gunther eh? I like that a lot."

Star gave Gunther a smile as they leave the mall to the recording studio.

()()()()()

At the recording studio, Gunther and his friends are greeted by Damon Gray who once was in Axion's R&D division but since he moved out of Amity Park and move in to Mellowbrook, he took the job as the owner of the recording studio.

"Now this studio had lots of history," Damon said to the gang. "Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and quoted, 'There's no way in hell I'm going to record in this dump.' But as the years rode by, this studio isn't a dump anymore."

"And I'm sure Star will love it!" Gunther said as he gave Damon the money.

"How much money did you give to that black dude?" Jackie asked Gunther.

"Just 10 bucks," Gunther said as Star approaches.

"Nice to see you here Colonel Gunther, Star said as she gave Gunther a kiss on the cheek. "And are those your friends?"

"Yep," Gunther said. "This is Kick Buttowski, Kendall Perkins, Johnny Test, Avery Buttowski and ..."

"Jackie Wackerman." Jackie said angrily.

"I'm charmed." Star replied as she walks to the other room.

"I thought you said she was fat!" Jackie yelled at Gunther.

"Jackie it takes two to lie," Gunther replied. "One to lie and one to listen."

"I don't get it."

"Well I have no time to answer all your questions. Chop, chop. Valuable time awaits!"

"Alright boys," Star said to fellow band members, including Kick who is playing the saxaphone. "Let's break some hearts!"

_**Star: **__Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart  
>When the coach called me up to the plate.<br>I'd been swingin' and missin' and lovin, and kissin.  
>My average was point double-o eight.<em>

_So I spit on my hands, knocked the dirt from my spikes,  
>And pointed right towards center field.<br>This time I'm hittin' the home run.  
>This time love is for real.<em>

"Hey can I do a hambone dance?" Johnny asked as he did a hambone dance.

"Cut it out!" Avery yelled.

_**Star: **__I'll slide, I'll steal, I'll sacfice,  
>A lovin' fly for you.<br>I've been slumpin' off season,  
>But now I've found the reason.<br>I've struck on a love that is true._

_I used to play the field.  
>I used to be a roamer.<br>But season's turnin' around for me now.  
>I've finally bagged me a Gunther<em>

_That's right, I've finally bagged me a Gunther_

"Uh Star we're gonna have to cut you off," Damon warned Star. "We're getting some gritting noise on the set."

True to Damon's words, everyone heard a gritting noise which came from Jackie who is gritting her teeth loudly. But despite all that, Gunther went to Star's side a few minutes later.

"Guess what Star," said Gunther. "Everyone loves you!"

"They do?" Star squealed. "Oh Gunther! You're as smart as you are handsome!"

"Hey! Oh you meant that as a compliment."

()()()()()

Over the next few days, Star became a successful singer and it's all thanks to Gunther, or should I say Colonel Gunther. But there's a catch. Gunther had spent more time helping Star with her career than spending time with his friends. His friends, especially Kick are worried that Gunther is changing from a naive and sweet boy to a money-loving workaholic. As for Star, she started falling in love with Gunther and wants him to be more than just her manager.

One night, Gunther and Star in inside Star's trailer. Star is wearing her orange dress while Gunther is still wearing his Colonel suit.

"Now for your debut, the TV would like you to sing two songs," Gunther said to Star. "I suggest that you sing a new song."

"Okay," Star replied. "I wrote this song not too long ago. It goes like this."

_**Star: **__In this trailer, I get so cold and lonely,  
>Lying there awake at night, muttering if only<br>You weren't thirteen, So I might ask you  
>To bunk with me tonight,<br>Bunk with me tonight, oh, bunk with me tonight,  
>I'm asking, will you bunk with me tonight.<em>

"Wow," Gunther said. "That song was pretty."

"So?" Star spoke again. "_Will you bunk with me tonight?_"

"Hmm I don't know this Star. Usually I'm not allowed to be out that late. Well see ya tomorrow."

Then Gunther left.

()()()()()

"Most of Gunther's emotions are tied up to Star," Kick told Wade at the Food N' Fix. "If Star fails, Gunther will be angry for the rest of his life. If she succeed, I have no best friend. I don't even know what to root for?"

"You don't dangerdude," Wade replied. "You just have to let it go and everything's going to be alright. Trust me."

Kick left the Foot N' Fix, feeling depressed that he'll lose Gunther forever.

()()()()()

That night, Star made her TV debut in a redneck show called Yee Haw as a celebrity guest star. As Star sang her song, Gunther watched backstage. But Gunther is thinking about something else that probably haunted him to this night only.

_Gunther is preparing for Star's television debut tonight as Kick walks inside, looking more worried than ever._

_"I should note this that while you and Star were out making famous, your dad cut his hand." Kick told Gunther._

_"I don't care," Gunther replied as he struggles with his string tie._

_Kick shook his head in disappointment as he motions his friends and Gunther's family to come inside Gunther's room._

_"You got a wonderful family and wonderful friends," Kick told Gunther once more. "Please don't forget it when you walk out that door tonight."_

_But Gunther didn't say anything as he walks out of his room._

_"Much as I don't like his attitude right now, you gotta love that suit." Johnny remarked._

While Gunther still watches Star, he is approached by a well-dressed gentleman.

"I'm from Rebel Yell Records, a division of the Tokasagi Corporation," said the gentlemen. "I would like to offer you a deal."

"No thanks," Gunther replied. "I ain't called Colonel Homer just for being fat and stupid."

()()()()()

In Star's dressing room.

"Is there anything you need before we continue on with the show?" Gunther asked .

"Yes there is," Star said as she locks the door.

Star approaches Gunther and kisses him on the cheek. Gunther was happy at first, but then became sad.

"What's wrong?" Star asked Gunther.

"My whole friendship and romantic life is flashing before my eyes." Gunther replied.

True to his words, Gunther remember being shoot down by a lot of girls, just because he's fat and remembers that no one wants to be friends with him because they think he's stupid. But then, Gunther remembers making the only friend he had in life - Kick. Unlike the others, Kick didn't care about his weight or his intelligent. Gunther also remembered the good times he and Kick went through when they were good friends. Kick was like the only kid who is ever nice and loyal to him. And Gunther, well, he ended up repayiny Kick by being ignorant just about now.

"Star," Gunther spoke again. "My goal was to share your beautiful voice to the world. And I've done that."

"So what are you trying to say here?" Star asked Gunther.

"I have to go now. Before I lose my best friend, Kick."

"I understand."

And so, Gunther leaves the room, but then, he pokes his head back in the door.

"Say you would've gone all the way with me, wouldn't you?" Gunther asked Star.

Star nods. Then Gunther left and approaches the gentleman again.

"Now before we negotiate, I have to tell you that I'm desperate to unload Star," Gunther said to the gentleman. "I'll take any offer."

"How about $200?" asked the gentleman.

"Deal."

()()()()()

At the Buttowski resident, Kick is watching the Yee Haw show alone in the living room. Just then, Gunther arrives who wore his causal outfit but still wore the cowboy hat.

"Kick," Gunther said in an unhappy tone. "Is there any room on the couch for a fool like me?"

"Always has been," Kick replied.

Just then, the TV shows Star.

"I like to sing a song I made a minute ago," Star said. "It's called _**Stand By Your Manager. **_His name is Gunther."

_**Star: **__He's quite a man  
>I tried to kiss him, but Gunther ran<br>Sure wish I could say, that I was his  
>I hope that Kick knows, just how lucky he is.<em>

"I do," Kick said as he gave Gunther a smile.

Gunther smiled back as he and Kick shared a bag of chips. Gunther took off the cowboy hat and tosses it towards the field as the story fades to black.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

In Amity Park, Paulina is hoping mad with jealousty after learning that Star had become famous. Paulina tries to sing on her own, but it turns out that her voice wasn't exactly as pretty as Star's voice.

"I totally envy Star," Paulina muttered.


	20. Raiders of the Lost Crystal

_**Kick Buttowski and the Raiders of the Lost Crystal**_

_**Summary: **__Annabelle needs a tutor to get good marks in History and that possible tutor is no other than Kick Buttowski who also have others plans to do. Meanwhile, Johnny and Ronaldo get themselves drunks as they set off to a drunken adventure._

Annabelle Magnuson sat in her chair, drawing pictures of musical notes since the only thing she likes best is music. She was very interested in different types of music – classical, rock n' roll, country music, etc. Other than that, she had a thing for sports, but only because she came from a family of Vikings. Unlike her cousin Gunther who is truly a Viking, Annabelle is _half _Viking. Her other half is Jamaican since her mother was born in Jamaica which may be the reason why Annabelle had a thing for music as well. Aside from that, Annabelle is Avery's best friend and one of her teammates from the Kids Next Door. In fact, she is Numbuh 45 of Sector EM while Avery is Numbuh 12.

Anyway, Annabelle glanced up to watch the clock as the last five minutes of school began to slowly tick away. It was Friday yet it is also reverse week, meaning that they have History class in last period. You see, in regular week, History is in first period but in reverse week, Art is the first period. Because she glanced at the clock, Friday is the day that was meant to stay up late with friends, long video game tournaments without homework getting in the way and that people often changed their ringtones to Friday by Rebecca Black for one day only.

All of a sudden, the bell rang and Annabelle jumped out of her seat with excitement and met up with Avery who is by the door.

"Annabelle Magnuson, could you stay here for a moment," said Mr. Teacherman.

Annabelle sat down to her desk as the other students left the room.

"I'll wait for you outside, okay," Avery said as Annabelle nodded.

"I would like to inform you that you're failing History." Mr. Teacherman explained.

"So?" Annabelle replied with a southern belle accent.

"So, if you don't pass History, you'll have to take summer school. That means no musical lessons, no sports, no sleeping in and you'll get homework. Is that what you wanted Ms. Magnuson?"

"Nope."

"Then you need to get a tutor to help you pass History."

Mr. Teacherman then tool out a pen and wrote down an address on a piece of paper.

"Now I've assigned you a student from this class," Mr. Teacherman said as he gave Annabelle the address. "Go to that address tomorrow at noon."

Annabelle nods as she went to the bus where Avery was waiting for her.

"So what happened?" Avery asked Annabelle.

Annabelle explained her situation with Avery.

"That bad eh?" Avery said. "Well it could be worse."

"It can," Annabelle said. "What if my tutor is Janet Nelson Jr. or Ronaldo?"

"I have my doubts with those two, well mostly Janet. The tutor could be Kendall"

"She's bad right?"

"Nah, she's on our good terms. Either way, you'll find out who the tutor is tomorrow."

When they got off the bus, they went to the BattleSnax for something to eat. When they got there, they saw their respective cousins, Kick and Gunther.

"Hi guys," Avery said to Kick and Gunther.

"Hi," Gunther replied.

"So what's new?" Kick asked.

"I'm failing History big time," Annabelle replied.

"That's bad right?" Gunther asked.

"Really bad. And to make it up for it, I'm assigned a tutor who's going to tutor me tomorrow at noon. How about you guys?"

"Dad wants me to clean the garage tomorrow," Gunther replied.

"I'm tutoring someone from our History class tomorrow at noon," Kick replied.

"Well I don't know who the tutor is, but I got his address." Annabelle said as he shows it to Kick, Avery and Gunther. Kick's cerulean eyes widened.

"What's wrong Kick?" Annabelle asked.

"Annabelle," Kick spoke. "This is my address."

"What?" Annabelle exclaimed. "You're my tutor? But how can an awesome daredevil like you be my tutor?"

"Well it turns out that I'm one of the best students in History, besides Kendall," Kick explained. "History is …. kinda my best subject. Plus I'm really enjoying our current class studies."

"What exactly are our current class studies?"

"Archaeology."

Just then, Avery's watch went off.

"Biscuits," Avery muttered as she saw a pale-skinned girl with short black hair and yellow eyes who wore a red sweater, black leggings and red boots. "What's the problem Numbuh 56?"

"We've got the Toiletnator breaking inside Sector EM!" Numbuh 56 cried. "Again."

"Is it bad?" Annabelle asked.

"Normally it's no big deal, but today, he's got major upgrades. We need you in Sector EM right away!"

"Got it!" Avery replied as she looks at Annabelle. "Annabelle, let's head back to Sector EM!"

Annabelle nods before turning back to Kick.

"Guess I'll see ya tomorrow then," Annabelle said to Kick.

Kick nods as Avery and Annabelle left the BattleSnax. Kick also left the BattleSnax, leaving Gunther to ponder his thoughts.

()()()()()

Kick is in the attic room, looking through old journals and history books that used to belong to his uncle Jules before he died. As he looks through one of Jules' journals, something caught his eyes. Inside the journal were entries on the crystal that no one had ever seen before. It seems that Jules is interested in this crystal. But it's a shame that no one has ever found it in ages. Legends say that it was located somewhere in the jungles of India and more specifically in an old and forgotten temple. No one has ever gone inside that temple before, nor have they gone out of the temple alive. Legends have also told that the crystal can unlock the secrets of the universe. Jules was attempting to find that crystal if he hadn't died in Egypt eight years ago. Since he had nothing to do over the weekends besides tutoring Annabelle tomorrow, he would plan on his little trip to India and find that crystal. He's not doing it for himself. He's doing it for Jules.

_I'll find the crystal, Uncle Jules. _Kick thought. _No matter how hard this trip is worth._

()()()()()

Saturday came as Annabelle made her way to Kick's house which isn't very far from her home. The house itself is pretty normal like the other houses. She could see Harold mowing the lawn and recognized him as Kick's dad since her uncle Magnus is friends with him. Harold saw Annabelle and walked towards her.

"Hi Mr. Buttowski," Annabelle said.

"Oh you must be Annabelle Magnuson, the girl Kick is tutoring," Harold said. "Come inside."

Harold motions Annabelle to come inside and is told that Kick is in the attic room. Kick is still looking through Jules' notebooks and journals.

"Hey Kick, what are you looking at over there?" Annabelle asked.

Kick was startled by the sound of Annabelle's voice. He quickly hid Jules' journals and notebooks inside a treasure chest.

"Oh hi Annabelle," Kick stuttered. "I was just looking at ancient photos."

"Sounds awesome. So what are we going to study today?"

Kick pulls out some history books and gave some to Annabelle. Then they read a few pages on archaeology for about a few hours or so.

"Neolithic," Kick said as he flips the pages. "It is also called the New Stone Age and it contains a passageway and three chambers."

"So what does it demonstrates?" Annabelle asked.

"It demonstrates one of the great dangers of archaeology."

"Wow."

Then Annabelle notices Kick who is looking down as if he had something on his mind. Though having two brothers and a friend who used to be an undead mummy until he was given new life by the gods (_**no I'm not talking about Kickankhamun **_), Annabelle knew when boys were bothered about something.

"You okay Kick?" Annabelle asked Kick.

Kick nods, but Annabelle is not convinced.

"Did Gordie insult you again?"

Kick shook his head.

"Did you get in trouble with anyone in particular?"

Kick shook is head yet again.

"Then what's wrong?"

"It's my uncle Jules." Kick replied.

"Your uncle?" Annabelle asked.

Kick nodded.

"What happened to him?"

"Well he died eight years ago, but that's not the reason why I was all gloomy."

"Then what is?"

"He had _it. _He had _it _in his hands."

"What are you talking about?"

_Outside at the jungle in India eight years ago, Jules (while he was still alive) wore a brown fedora, a brown leather jacket and a white shirt and brown pants and a bullwhip on the side of his belt. He was walking and is holding a map, searching for the temple that's been about 3000 years old. He was with three other men who were his colleagues, Vlad Masters (while he was still alive) Peter Griffin and Ricky Crocker._

"_Are you sure about this Dr. Buttowski?" Ricky asked Jules._

"_Of course," Jules replied._

_Jules and Ricky were chopping vines until the group saw the statue of an elephant. The bats later fly out of the elephant's mouth, causing Peter to run away in retreat. Jules rolled his eyes in annoyance._

_The group continued their way until they stopped and looked at what is sticking on the tree. Jules walked up to it and examines the dart. He licks it, but spits it out._

"_Poison," Jules warned._

"_The natives of the jungle are near and may be following us." Ricky said._

_The three remaining men later found the temple and Jules is the first to enter the temple._

"_Are you sure you'll be waiting for us to come out?" Jules asked Vlad._

"_Of course," Vlad replied. "I hate to get trapped in temples."_

_Jules sighed as he and Ricky walk inside the temple. They walked until Jules grabbed Ricky by the collar._

"_What?" Ricky asked._

"_Look," Jules said as he reached his hand to the ray of light and spikes zipped out of the wall. What was on the spikes is a corpse. Ricky freaked out._

_The men continued to walk on. Then they stopped when they saw a gap. Jules saw the branch and had an idea as he snapped his fingers. Jules used the whip grabbed the branch and swung it across. Then he passed it to Ricky as he said, "Use this to swing across." Ricky swings across too._

_Jules picked up his whip and recoils it back to his belt and walked on until they saw the door that leads to the chamber._

_As they approached the chamber, they saw the crystal on the stand._

_"Well, let's get it," Ricky said. _

_Before he makes a move, Jules grabbed Ricky's collar again. _

_"What are you doing, you collar grabbin' bitch?" Ricky asked with a glare. _

_"This is what scared me," Jules said. He picked up an unlit torch and pushed the pad on the floor down. Then an arrow shoots out and hits the torch._

_"Stay here. I'll get the crystal," Jules said. _

_"If you insist, Jules," Ricky said._

_Jules cautiously walks without stepping on the pads. Then he approached the stand where the crystal stands. Jules examines it and grabs a bag full of sand out of his pocket. He hopes that the bag might match the weight of the crystal._

_Ricky crosses his fingers in fear. Jules grabs the crystal and places the bag to its stand. Ricky felt relieved and smiled. But as Jules walks, the stand began to sink, making Ricky's smile fade._

_Perhaps the bag did not match the weight of the crystal. Or perhaps the bag is not supposed to be on the stand?_

_Then the temple began to shake. Jules ran and this time steps on the pads, which makes the arrows shoot out. Jules and Ricky ran out of the chamber._

_Jules used the whip and, this time, lets Ricky go first. Ricky swung to the edge. The door was moving down. _

_"Throw me the crystal," Ricky said. _

_"Give me the whip," Jules said._

_Ricky looked at the moving door, and then looked at Jules. _

_"There's no time to argue! Throw me the crystal, and I'll give youthe whip," Ricky said._

_Jules threw the crystal to Ricky when he knew he had no choice. _

_"Now, give me the whip," Jules demanded._

_But Ricky, with a smile, dropped the whip as he said, "Adios, sucker," and ran through the door._

_Jules had been betrayed, but he did not give up. Jules ran to the gap and jumped, only to grab the edge. He climbed up, grabbed the whip and rolled through the door before it completely closed. Jules then sees Ricky pierced by spikes. Seems like Ricky had forgot about the trap. Jules then picked up the crystal Ricky dropped and placed it in a bag and said, "Adios."_

_Jules ran through the tunnel and, as he turned, he saw a boulder that is rolling down. Jules ran as fast as he could. He then rolled through the entrance before the boulder could squash him._

_As Jules got up, he was surrounded by the jungle natives with arrows and spears. Jules then sees Ricky lying on the ground with arrows on his back. A man named Benedict Uno (aka. Father) walked to Jules._

_"Dr. Buttowski," he said, "I do expect that you have the crystal."_

_Jules points his gun at Benedict to shoot him but the natives point the arrows and spears at them. Benedict took Jules's gun away._

_"You chose the wrong friends, doctor," Benedict said, "and this time it may cost you. Give me the crystal now." _

_Jules then grabs the crystal from the bag and gives it to Benedict. _

_"You're a sick bastard. Do you know that?" Jules said in anger._

_"Oh, get used to it, Dr. Buttowski," Benedict said with a smirk._

_Benedict lifts the crystal in the air and said, "Shikaka," and the natives bowed down._

_Jules ran away from the natives._

_"So long, suckers," he called out as he ran. Benedict heard this and got angry. "After him!" he shouted to the natives. The natives ran after Jules._

_Benedict looked at the crystal and laughed maniacally. The laugh echoed as Jules ran through the woods with the natives chasing him._

_Jules then saw the lake. There was a plane floating on the lake. Jack Fenton was looking at the water until he heard Jules yelling, "Jack! Start the plane!"_

_Jack climbed to the plane and starts the engines. Jules jumped and grabbed the vines and swings to the lake. The natives throw spears and shoot arrows at him but miss._

_Jules swam to the plane and climbs aboard. Jack lifts the plane up into the sky._

_Then Jules felt something smooth. He looked down and freaked out. The reason? There was a snake in the plane._

_"Hey! There's a big snake in the plane, Jack!" Jules yelled. _

_"Oh, that's just my pet snake, Slimy," Jack smiled. _

_"I hate snakes, jackass! I hate them!" Jules screamed in anger. _

_"Come on. Show a little backbone, will ya?" Jack chuckled. Then the plane flies away from the jungle._

_Jules had failed to retrieve the crystal because of Benedict, but he luckily made it out of the jungle._

"So that's it?" Annabelle asked after hearing one of Kick's tales about Jules.

Kick nods.

"Wow. Your uncle really wanted to find that crystal."

"Yep." Kick replied. "And I'm going to try to find that crystal. For him."

"Well if you're going to India, then take me with you." Annabelle said with confidence.

"Why?'

"Well until I get my grades up in History class, I'm your goddamn partner."

Kick felt lucky. Even though he may face the dangers in the jungles of India, he had a partner.

()()()()()

The next day, Kick and Annabelle arrived at the airport and before they could leave to India, their respective parents hugged them.

"Now be careful you two," Honey warned Kick and Annabelle. "Out there are strangers who are not what they seem to be."

"Now don't talk to strangers," Leshawna told Kick and Annabelle. "And stay safe."

Kick and Annabelle nodded as they went inside the plane which takes them to their destination – India. Before the flight, Kick and Annabelle are sitting together beside a Hispanic girl who wore a pink T-shirt and blue pants (yep that's Paulina) and before the plane can take off, two teenage jocks who wore a pair of white and red jackets approach Kick and Annabelle. One is blond with blue eyes and the other is Asian. They're no other than Dash and Kwan from Casper High.

"Hey Blondie," Dash said to Annabelle. "Get you and your shrimp boyfriend to find other seats."

"He's not my boyfriend," Annabelle said.

"I'm not her boyfriend," Kick replied as well. "And I'm _not_ a shrimp!"

"Well it looks like you are," Kwan replied.

"Anyway, we're already assigned those seats." Kick said.

"Well you two are gonna have to find other seats," Dash replied. "So that way, my buddy and I can sit next to Paulina over there."

"I'm pretty sure there are other seats in the plane," Annabelle said, her voice getting firm. "So if you don't mind, leave us alone this instant."

"Why don't you make us Blondie?"

Just then, Annabelle pulls out her Viking axe, scaring Dash and Kwan, but surprised Kick.

"Don't make me _axe _you twice." Annabelle warned. _**(A/N: In case you're wondering about that line, I got that idea from the KBSD episode "Bwar and Peace" but instead of that, I heard that line "don't make me mace you" from the Viking girl that Brad tries to flirt with)**_

Dash and Kwan obeyed as they took different seats as the plane finally took flight to India.

()()()()()

Seven hours later, Kick and Annabelle are finally in India. First thing's first, they start off at a local tavern where most people would come to ask questions, whether it is legal or illegal, depending on the subject. As Kick and Annabelle enter the tavern, they could see a couple of Indian men drinking their beers and some mingling among themselves. What caught their attention the most is the bartender. He is tall and has fairly dark skin, short black hair (in which he is almost bald), a shaved beard, which had bits of hair growing, and copper eyes, but whenever the sun or a ray of light shines at his eyes, the color changes from copper to pure gold. He wore a white shirt which is covered in dirt under an apron like many other bartenders. He also wore a pair of black pants and a pair of grey shoes. He must've went to the jungle a couple of times to keep business booming.

From what Kick and Annabelle could see from him, the bartender is on the phone, yelling out curses, swears and insults on the caller. It seems that the bartender had been prank called.

"I swear if I ever find you," the bartender yelled angrily. "I'll cut your heart out and feed it to a tiger!"

The bartender hangs up and for the first time ever after the incident, he saw Kick and Annabelle.

"Welcome young ones," the bartender said to Kick and Annabelle. "How may I help you at this hour?"

"We like you to answer a few questions," Kick spoke. "About the _crystal._"

The bartender widened his eyes after hearing what Kick had said. He quickly covers Kick's mouth to avoid gossip from the other people.

"Shh!" The bartender whispered to Kick and Annabelle. "You're not cops, right?"

"Of course we're not cops," Annabelle whispered. "In fact, we're just kids."

The bartender lets go of Kick's mouth and walks towards the rug. He unrolls the rug to reveal a hidden door.

"Come this way," the bartender said to Kick and Annabelle as they walked through the hidden door.

Kick, Annabelle and the bartender followed the secret passageway until they entered a room. It had nothing but five chairs and a table.

"No one can hear us as long as we are in here," the bartender said to Kick and Annabelle. "Now where were we?"

"We were talking about the crystal," Kick spoke.

"Right. What must you think you know about the crystal?"

"My uncle founded it eight years ago but lost it to some guy named Benedict Uno."

"Ah yes. But how did you know about it in the first place."

Kick went through his bags and pulled out a dusty journal – Jules' journal.

"Because I found his journal in the attic." Kick spoke again. "Doesn't that convince you?"

"Actually it did convince me." the bartender replied. "Now, about the crystal, I know that it was in possession of Benedict Uno but a few years later after you uncle lost it, I took it from him, and I have proof."

True to the bartender's words, he pulls out a wrapped package and unwraps it to reveal a crystal. The same one that Jules founded and lost it to Benedict years ago.

"How did you get it?" Kick asked again.

"Long ago, I was a native to the jungle," the bartender said. "My father was once the chief of the tribe until he died of a rare disease. He was once the keeper of the crystal but ever since he died, he had the natives seal it inside an old temple. We even placed booby-traps inside the temple to keep outsiders away from the crystal. Legends said that if the crystal is found, it can unlock the secrets of the universe. When your uncle found it first, he was interested in knowledge and was going to share it with the others. But when he lost it to Benedict, I was shocked. I know Benedict. He was as cruel as a tiger. He wanted it for himself. And so, one night, I sneak inside his camp and took back the crystal."

"What did you do with it?" Annabelle asked.

"I kept it hidden with me for as long as I can remember. But seeing that you kids are here and are responsible enough, I'm entrusting you kids to keep the crystal safe."

"We'll do our best," Kick replied.

"Now go out there and follow the crystal's light. But be careful and stay safe."

Kick and Annabelle nod as the bartender led them out of the secret room and into the surface of the tavern. Fortunately for then, no one was here.

"You kids don't have much time," the bartender warned Kick and Annabelle. "Now go, before Benedict finds you."

Kick and Annabelle were about to leave the tavern until all of a sudden, the bartender pulled them back.

"Quiet," the bartender warned the kids before they could speak. "They're coming."

"Who's coming?" Annabelle whispered.

"Benedict and his men. You kids better hide where it's safe."

Kick and Annabelle wasted no time as they hid in one of the barrels from the other side of the room. The bartender prepared himself for the worse as the door opens to reveal Father, his Delightful children and his minion.

"The Delightful Children from Down the Lane," Annabelle whispered as she sees what's going on through a hole.

"The bar is close," the bartender said to Father. "Be gone with you."

"Oh we're not here for drinks my good man," Father said in a shrilling voice which made Annabelle's spines shiver.

"Then what do you want?"

"Something that was once mine. Do you have it by any chance?"

"Nope. Even if I know where it is, I'm not telling you."

Father walks towards the fire and said, "Your fire may be dying sir. Why don't you tell us where it is?"

"No one tells me what to do!" the bartender protested.

"Well I have my ways of making you talk."

Father picks up the poker, which had its tips glowing orange by the fire. The he turns to the Delightful Children.

"My pets."

The Delightful Children grabbed the bartender's arms and dragged him to Father.

"Let me go you fiend!" the bartender shouted.

Father walked to him with a poker in his hand. The bartender notices this and said, "No! Don't! I'll do anything for you!"

"Tell me where the crystal is?" Father asked.

"Stop! I'll do anything! Please!" the bartender begged.

"I know you will."

But before Father can harm the bartender, a whip grabbed the poker and yanked it out of Father's hand and the poker landed beside the bar curtains. They turned and saw Kick Buttowski and Annabelle with a mad look on their faces.

"Let him go!" Kick shouted as the poker sets the curtains on fire.

Father dragged the bartender to the table as the Delightful Children fired their ray guns at Kick and Annabelle. Annabelle fires her gun at one of the Delightful Children, but missed. Kick on the other hand fired his gun at some of Father's minions and the minions fired back. The bartender watched the fight while staying down behind the table. The Delightful Kids fired their guns until they're out of energy. They then picked up their backup guns.

Kick continues to fire his gun at the minions, but soon ran out of bullets. But then, he remembers having spare bullets in his bag. So he reloaded his gun and resumed shooting. But a beefy minion sneaks up behind Kick and bonks him in the head. He drags Kick to the table and pinned him down. Kick could not free himself.

"Biscuits," Kick muttered.

But Annabelle grabs a bottle of whisky and bashed the beefy minion in the head with it, thus forcing himself to free Kick. The fire soon spread around the bar. Another minion stood at Kick and pointed his gun at him. But Kick kicked the minion to the table which sends the headpiece flying near the fire. Soon, Kick killed the minion and all the other minions they can find. The Delightful Children managed to retreat by running out of the bar, which angers Father.

"Disobedience!" Father shouted.

But of course, Father had to get the headpiece. He ran to it and picked it up, but when he did, he screamed in pain because the headpiece was hot. He ran outside and placed his hand in the river to cool the temperature down.

Kick was face to face with a tall minion. He pointed his gun at Kick's chest. A shot rand out and Kick yelped to see if the bullet hat hit him, but it didn't. Kick then saw blood coming out of the minion's mouth. The minion fell down to the floor, revealing the bartender with a gun in his hand. The bartender had saved Kick's life.

The tavern starts to burn down and the bartender picks up the headpiece with a piece of cloth and ran outside with Kick and Annabelle as the fire burns the tavern down.

"We're so sorry about that," Annabelle apologized to the bartender.

"Its okay kids," said the bartender. "I care about your safety more than my business anyway. You kids needs to keep to crystal safe."

"We understand that." Kick replied.

()()()()()

Back in Mellowbrook, Johnny and Ronaldo are at January's mansion. Johnny is in the kitchen, looking for something to drink.

"What drink will it be Ronaldo?" Johnny asked while looking in the fridge. "Orange juice? Milk? Fruit Punch?"

But all of a sudden, something caught Johnny's blue eyes. A copper colored bottle that stood alone in the fridge.

"Or … a _cold _one?"

After hearing what Johnny just said, Ronaldo ran to him in the kitchen and took a look at the copper bottle.

"You mean that?" Ronaldo asked surprisingly.

Johnny nods.

"But that's beer!"

But Johnny grabs the beer out of the fridge anyway and looks at it eagerly.

"What are you thinking Johnny?" Ronaldo asked in a panic mode now.

"Let's drink it." Johnny said eagerly.

"DRINK IT! But Johnny, this isn't like you."

"Yep, but in this B-story, we're showing the readers the evils of alcohol."

Ronaldo is still shocked.

"So Ronaldo," Johnny spoke. "Do you drink beer?"

"Only on a full stomach," Ronaldo replied. "And only when I'm moody."

"Well then, let's do it."

()()()()()

Back in India, Kick and Annabelle are walking in town while following the ray of light that shines on the crystal. They have to keep a low profile, just in case Father and the Delightful Children show up in broad daylight.

"The crystal sure knows its way around here," Annabelle said to Kick.

"It sure does," Kick replied.

But Kick and Annabelle stop in their tracks when they say the Delightful Children from a distance.

"It's the Delightful Children," Kick whispered to Annabelle. "We have to hide."

Annabelle nods as she and Kick hid inside one of the barrels just around the corner. They kept quiet as the Delightful Children walked passed them, undetected. As soon as Kick and Annabelle thought that it was safe to come out, they heard the Delightful Children taking a few steps towards their hiding places. They were screwed.

"What do we do now?" Annabelle whispered to Kick. "They'll find the crystal for sure."

"Hang on," Kick whispered back. "I've got an idea."

The Delightful Children open up one of the barrels and to their surprise; a ghost jumps out and scares them, causing them to run away in fear, not to be seen again for a while. When they're gone, the ghost pulls out its body to reveal Kick and Annabelle inside. The ghost was pure fake.

"Awesome plan Kick," Annabelle said happily to Kick.

"Don't mention it," Kick replied. "Now where were we?"

The crystal shines its ray of light again as Kick and Annabelle continue on their quest to the secrets of the universe.

()()()()()

One long walk inside the jungle and one conflict with the natives later, Kick and Annabelle's trail was put on hold when the crystal glows even brighter. It seems that their trail ends with the ancient temple at its end.

"It's an ancient temple," Kick said as the crystal glowed even brighter when in contact with the temple.

"No way," Annabelle replied, looking stunned. "We came all the way from the local bar; narrowly avoided the Delightful dorks, survived through the jungle and escape from the natives' wrath just for _this_?"

"Why not? It's a special place."

"Are you sure this thing is working?"

"Only one way to find out."

Kick and Annabelle walk towards the entrance of the temple. There was no entrance.

"No entrance," Annabelle replied. "How do we get in?"

"We don't find it," Kick said, looking more confident than usual as the crystal glowed even brighter. "We _make _one."

True to Kick's words, the crystal shoots out a ray of light and made a hole on the temple's wall.

"Guess I was wrong about it," Annabelle said.

Kick walks towards the hole and stood aside.

"Ladies first." Kick said.

Annabelle did nothing but giggle as she walks inside the temple with Kick following behind. Both kids are unaware that someone else is following them.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Johnny and Ronaldo are at the park with the beer in Johnny's hand. When no one's looking, Johnny cracked open, the lid of the beer.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ronaldo asked, looking concerned.

"Are you scared?" Johnny mocked.

"Me? As if!"

"I dare you!"

"Darers _always _go first."

Johnny gathers up his courage and tool the first sip from the beer. Then, Johnny quickly became drunk.

"Go ahead Ronnie," Johnny said as he hands the beer to Ronaldo. "Try it."

Ronaldo took the beer and, like Johnny, took a few sips. Then he started to become drunk in one minute.

"Say Ronnie," Johnny said who is still drunk. "How about we escort ourselves to a bar that is not Bling-Bling's Tavern for a change?"

"I like the sound of that," Ronaldo replied while drunk.

So while in their drunken stage, Johnny and Ronaldo burp rhythmically and spend their time gambling and drinking until they are completely wasted.

"Are we wasted or what?" Johnny said to Ronaldo as their drunken selves head off to school.

"Just pass the brewski Johnny," Ronaldo said as Johnny gives him the beer.

Ronaldo takes a few sips and then spits them out on Johnny's face. Then, Johnny and Ronaldo saw Avery and Kendall walking out from the building.

"Look Ronnie," Johnny said as he looks at Avery and Kendall. "Babes!"

As Avery and Kendall walk, they were startled by Johnny and Ronaldo who are acting like morons.

"What is that smell?" Kendall is the first to ask as she held her nose.

"You babes wanna hang out with us or what?" Johnny asked Avery.

But due to being drunk, Johnny and Ronaldo's bad breaths caused both Avery and Kendall to faint. Both are furious.

"For the love of Numbuh 1, they've been drinking!" Avery cried in fury as she and Kendall walked away.

"Ah who needs them," Ronaldo said while still drunk. "Those two are a bunch of goody-twooty-shoes anyway. Hope something bad happens to them."

"Like what Ronnie?" Johnny asked.

"I don't know. Maybe … rape?"

() () () () () **(O_o* **_**17 pages so far**_**)**

Kick and Annabelle followed the crystal's light as they walk slowly inside the temple, possibly to avoid booby traps along the way. With Annabelle walking up ahead, Kick had a feeling that she may be in danger once a booby-trap is activated. Annabelle accidentally activates one of them. Arrows shoots from the walls and before they can strike at Annabelle, Kick pulls her out of the way, thus saving her life.

"Thanks," Annabelle said to Kick nervously.

Kick didn't say anything as they continue to walk to the crystal's direction. They soon stop when they came across a tall pillar that is as high as a mountain. The crystal indicates that Kick and Annabelle must climb up the pillar.

"How do we climb up there?" Annabelle asked. "It's impossible."

Kick thinks for a moment. How will he and Annabelle get to the top of the pillar without any vines or stairs to climb? As Kick leans over the wall, his elbow pushed a brick further and then, the ground began to shake as dozens of mini pillars circled around the big pillar as if they were making a leaping staircase.

"I've got it," Kick exclaimed.

"Got what?" Annabelle asked.

"We jump our way to the top by jumping from one mini pillar to another as if this was a leaping staircase."

Annabelle liked that idea. So Kick and Annabelle jumped their way up to the top and continued on following the crystal's light. As they continued on with their quest, a very fat man followed them and then … he stupidly broke the silence.

"Kiss her already Kick!" yelled the fat man. "I know you have feelings for her."

"We don't have feelings for each other PETER GRIFFIN!" yelled Kick and Annabelle at the same time.

"Shit," Peter mumbled angrily. "It would've been way easier like in the movies where men are portrayed as romantic saps, waiting to get the girls to love them, like in that one movie where…"

"We don't have time for cutaway gags," Annabelle yelled. "In fact, _she _wouldn't allow you to have cutaway gags in this fanfic at all."

"_She? _Who's _she_?"

"You know … _she _that made the stories."

"Oh I get it now. You're talking about that ugly authoress out there."

"Yes … wait … NO!"

"First answer sticks. _She _is as ugly as Meg Griffin and there's no doubt about it."

But, I, the authoress zap a couple of lightning bolts at Peter's ass, causing him to yelp in pain.

"OW that hurts!" Peter whined. "Now I won't be able to sit for a coupe of weeks."

_Which will give me time to keep you out of my stories for a while, _I told him.

"Well, since my ass is fried," Peter spoke as he points his gun at Kick and Annabelle.

"What the biscuits?" Kick asked.

"Do as my boss says and nobody gets hurt."

"Who's your boss?" Annabelle asked.

Peter steps aside as a familiar silhouette approaches the kids. Annabelle and Kick are able to recognize him easily.

"Father," Annabelle muttered.

"So nice of you to remember me, Numbuh 45," Father said coldly to Annabelle which made her spines shiver. "And it's so nice to see you with Numbuh 12's shrimp cousin."

"I'm _not_ a shrimp!" Kick yelled. "Seriously, I just got a growth sprout last summer and _people_ still call me shrimp? Can it get any worse than that?"

"Oh it can get worse than that," Father said to Kick. "I have a proposition to make, if you're willing to accept it?"

"What kind of proposition?"

"Show us where the crystal will lead us to which I presume would be the secrets of the universe."

"What if we refuse?" Annabelle spoke.

Father turns his head to Peter who then pulled a blond girl to the open. It was Kendall who is tied up at the moment.

"Kendall!" Kick cried as he tries to get close, but is blocked by Father.

"Accept my offer and I'll spare her life," Father said once more. "Refuse and we'll put her to sleep … for all eternity."

"Don't do it Kick!" Kendall cried as she tries to struggle, but is unable to due to Peter's fat size. "It's not worth it!"

"Shut up Kenny!" Peter yelled.

"Her name's KENDALL you fatass!" Father yelled at Peter which made him tremble. "God you're so stupid!"

Father then turned to Kick and Annabelle.

"Now where were we?" Father spoke again. "Ah yes … _my offer_."

Kick thinks for a moment. Should he help Father find the secrets of the universe, or risk losing Kendall forever?

"I … accept your offer," Kick spoke to Father. "Now release Kendall."

"Oh that's won't be necessary Kick," Father spoke in a shrilling voice. "You have to prove to me that you are telling the truth. If you are telling the truth, I shall spare Kendall, but if you are lying to me, then I would have to put her to sleep for all eternity."

"Shall we get moving Annabelle?" Kick asked Annabelle.

"If we must," Annabelle spoke nervously. "Lead the way."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, while in their drunken stages, Johnny and Ronaldo walked and walked until they saw an empty police car deserted at the sidewalk. Ronaldo had an idea. An awful idea.

"Say buddy," Ronaldo spoke. "Wanna take this baby in for a ride?"

"And risk getting caught and spending the rest of our lives in jail?" Johnny replied. "Cool man."

Johnny and Ronaldo step inside the police car as Ronaldo sat behind the wheel. He placed the key inside and pumped the gas, but he set it in reverse mode so he accidentally hits a car from behind.

"HEY!" Ronaldo yelled. "Watch where you're going!"

He then managed to set it in drive mode and the car took off at high speed. Ronaldo tends to drink and drive at the same time occasionally which caused the car to drive at different directions, though they managed to survive.

"So Ronnie," Johnny asked Ronaldo as he drinks the beer. "How does it feel to be DWI?"

"DWI?" Ronaldo replied as he drinks and drives yet again. "What does that mean?"

"_DWI! _**D**riving **w**hile **i**ntoxicated!"

"Oh that's ridiculous. I don't know how to drive."

Throughout Mellowbrook, Johnny and Ronaldo have been driving while intoxicated, while nearly avoiding sudden deaths.

()()()()()

Kick, Annabelle, Father, Peter, Kendall and the Delightful Children followed the crystal's light until they reached a dead end.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Father spoke. "I am not amused by this."

Kick gives the crystal to Annabelle and walked towards the wall, looking for a possible activation. Just then, he pushed one of the bricks further and soon, the wall dissolves into an open entrance.

"For someone who is a shrimp, you're pretty smart," Peter said to Kick.

"I'm _no _shrimp!" Kick yelled as the others went pass the former dead end.

The gang slid down several different paths, crisscrossing and flying through space of flashes of torchlight and darkness. Vines littered the walls with cracks and small insects filled some areas as the group zoomed by. Several screams, mostly female and one strangely high-pitched male (_**I think you had a feeling whose scream it belongs to**_) rang out as the shoots lead to their unknown destinations. But hey, it would've been easier if Peter had _actually _lost some weight and be quick about it.

Two hours later, the crystal glowed brighter and brighter as it leads the group to a huge room, filled with sparkling crystals. The walls are painted with pure gold, like a treasure chamber in Egypt. And at the center of the room is a small pillar, possible for a crystal to be placed on. Kick slowly walks towards the pillar as the crystal glowed even brighter.

"This must be it," Kick said.

"I hope so," Father replied in a cold voice.

Kick placed the crystal on top of the pillar and soon, the ground shakes as the crystal glowed brighter and brighter.

"What's happening?" Peter cried.

When the ground stops shaking, the group saw the crystal transforming into some sort of a scepter. Kick is the first to pick it up.

"What is it?" Father asked Kick.

"This must be the secret of the universe," Kick replied. "If legends are true, this scepter can give its user ultimate power, something that is unimaginable."

"Then give it to me at once."

Kick only raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want to save Kendall's life or not?"

Kick slowly nods. He really wanted to save Kendall from Father.

"Don't do it Kick," Kendall warned. "It's not worth it."

"Shut up Kenny … I mean Kendall," Peter yelled.

Kick sighs in defeat as he gives Father the scepter. Feeling overjoyed, Father gave out a victorious laugh and orders Peter to release Kendall who then ran to hug Kick.

"NOW I'M THE RULER OF THIS WORLD!" Father screamed as the scepter glowed brighter.

But his happiness faded as the temple began to shake violently. It seems that the temple is going to collapse.

"What's happening Father?" The Delightful Children asked.

"This place is falling apart!" Father yelled. "We must leave while we still can."

"What about those guys?"

Father took a look at Kick, Annabelle and Kendall. He made a cold look.

"Forget about them." Father said in a cold voice. "They can get out themselves for all I cared."

But before Father can make a move, a rock hit him on the head. It was Annabelle who threw that rock at him.

"What is the meaning of this Numbuh 45?" Father yelled at Annabelle.

"You are cold-heart, you know that!" Annabelle yelled back.

Father however formed an orb from his scepter and then, the orb starts to trap Kick, Annabelle, Kendall and Peter inside.

"Why me?" Peter cried at Father.

"Because I don't like you," Father replied to Peter. "Oh and you're overweight."

Father and the Delightful Children then left as the temple continues to crumble. Kick, Kendall, Annabelle and Peter are helpless while inside the orb.

"You gotta get us out of here shrimp boy!" Peter cried. "I'm scared."

"I've told you once and I've told you a thousand times," Kick spoke as he took a deep breath. "_I'M NO SHRIMP_!"

"No wonder you're a complete retard," Kendall told Peter. "And it's no wonder that _she _hates you ... a lot."

"_She?_"

"Yes _she! _The authoress herself." Kick yelled as well.

"Oh that ugly authoress?"

"SHE'S NOT THAT UGLY!"

As Kendall, Kick and Peter continue to argue, Annabelle notices her hand slipping through the orb, unharmed. Now normally this was awkward, but due to her being half-ghost like Danny Phantom, Annabelle calls it a sign of hope. All she had to do is make everyone intangible so that they can slip through the orb safely.

"Guys," Annabelle spoke. "I know how to get out of here."

"Really?" Peter said childishly. "How?"

"Simple. Since I'm the only one here who is half-ghost, all I have to do is make everyone intangible."

"In English please."

"Fine. Kick will hold my hand who will then take Kendall's hand and then she takes your hand so that I can use enough energy to make all of us intangible. And by intangible, I mean, getting out of this orb, unharmed."

"Good plan," Kick smirked as he took Annabelle's hand, and then took Kendall's who then took Peter's hand.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Peter asked.

"Trust me," Annabelle said.

When everyone took each other's hand, Annabelle then used up her energy to make everyone intangible, but this was hard to do so. Because of Peter's massive weight, the process not only got everyone out of the orb, but it also renders Annabelle weak.

"Are you okay?" Kick asked Annabelle who is now weak.

"I don't feel so good," Annabelle replied weakly. "Has Peter gained a lot of weight lately?"

"Hang in there. We'll find a doctor."

()()()()()

Meg Griffin is taking a nice walk when all of a sudden; she saw a police car droving by. What shocks her is that Johnny and Ronaldo are driving while intoxicated and then, the car crashed into a fire hydrant, possibly injuring them.

"OH MY GOD!" Meg screamed as she pulls out a cell phone and started dialing. "Hello 911?"

A few minutes later, police cars and ambulances came by and saw the crash that Johnny and Ronaldo made. Normally, Johnny and Ronaldo would've gone to prison and spend a few months there and another few for underage driving and another for driving without a license. But no, Johnny and Ronaldo are just kids. They just need to learn not to drink anymore for the safety of others.

At the hospital…

"Ow what hit me?" Johnny groaned as he woke up to find him and Ronaldo inside a hospital.

"What happened to us?" Ronaldo groaned as well. "I don't remember anything."

"You guys were drinking when you shouldn't be," Meg spoke which surprised Johnny and Ronaldo. "You guys were lucky to be alive; otherwise your parents would've been worried sick if you guys are dead by now."

"You're not going to tell them, are you?" Johnny asked Meg.

"I have to let them know. I know this sound like more trouble for you, but your parents have to know what happened. They cared more about your safety and well-beings."

"Well," Ronaldo spoke. "We might as well face the music."

()()()()()

Soon, Kick, Annabelle, Kendall and Peter got out of the collapsing temple alive where they soon met Father and the Delightful Children once more.

"You just don't know when to quit, do you?" Father spoke in a menacing tone. "I'll have to finish you off instead."

But before Father can do so, he got shot at by a helicopter, losing the scepter in the process.

"Kick!" Kendall cried. "The scepter!"

Kick understands and rushes to the scepter which is just at the edge of the cliff. He was about to get it, but the Delightful Children tackled him.

"The scepter is ours!" The Delightful Children cried.

But as they tackled, they accidentally fell over the cliff with the scepter. Kendall, Annabelle and Peter began to remorse, knowing that Kick is gone forever. But that soon faded when a helicopter rose up. Kick is inside the helicopter, safe and sound.

"We thought we lost you!" Kendall cried.

"Where's the scepter?" Peter yelled at Kick. "I want it! I want it!"

Kick points to the edge of the cliff and Peter stupidly believed him. What Peter didn't know is that the scepter is at the natives' territory and by the time Peter is inside, the natives attacked him.

"I had a feeling that the scepter belongs to the natives," Kick told Kendall and Annabelle. "It is in fact, rightfully theirs."

"So now what?" Kendall spoke

"I have but one question now," Annabelle spoke. "Who's behind the wheel?"

"Care for some Fenton Cookies?" cried a familiar voice. It was Jack Fenton.

"Jack Fenton?" everyone cried.

"I figured that you guys are in trouble, so I came by and saved the day." Jack said joyfully. "All aboard the Fenton Chopper! Next stop, Mellowbrook!"

Everyone went inside the helicopter as it takes them home to Mellowbrook. During the flight, Annabelle regains her strength while Kick and Kendall shared a kiss.

To Annabelle, this was by far the best tutoring session she had ever had with Kick.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

The next day at school, Annabelle had just received her latest History test which was now marked.

"You've must've enjoyed your lessons with Kick," Mr. Teacherman said to Annabelle. "Because of that, your grades have been boosted and you've got yourself an A."

Annabelle screams in joy.


	21. The SpyNapping Sitter

_**The Spy-Napping Sitter**_

_**Summary: **__Kick, Gunther, Johnny and Avery are force to have a babysitter while their parents are out on Friday. But things get more awkward when Kick disappears while on the phone._

Friday night in Mellowbrook was the best night anyone could ask for besides Saturday night when they're out dancing to the beats on the dance floor in private or public clubs all night. Well that is for most adults and teenagers though. For kids, all they liked to do on a Friday night is either have an adventure in the outskirts of town or go to the mall and do some shopping. Or in other cases, play video games all night and don't have to worry about homework at all.

Well that is for most kids …

But what's different today than dancing at the discos or shopping at the mall is that four certain teenagers are about to have a Friday night they'll never forget.

It all started one Friday afternoon as Kick, Gunther, Johnny and Avery are once again prank calling to Bling-Bling's Tavern. It was a good hobby for them, well mostly for Johnny though since he learned how to do that from Brad.

"Aw come on Johnny," Gunther cried.

"Not again," Kick replied.

"Aw where's your sense of humor guys?" Johnny replied back as he dials the phone numbers of Bling-Bling's Tavern.

"Bling-Bling's Tavern," Bling-Bling Boy would answer on the phone.

"Hello is Al there?" Johnny asked. "Last name Coholic."

"Let me check…"

At Bling-Bling's Tavern…

"Phone call for Al!" Bling-Bling Boy would call out. "Al Coholic. Is there an alcoholic here?"

The bar denizens did nothing but laugh at Bling-Bling Boy.

"Wait a minute," Bling-Bling Boy spoke again on the phone. "Listen you scrawny flame-headed jackass! If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!"

At Kick's house, Kick, Johnny, Gunther and Avery are laughing their heads off after another successful prank call.

"That was comedy gold!" Avery cried as she continues on laughing.

"I think I'm going to pee!" Gunther cried as well.

()()()()()

In the kitchen, Honey, Harold, Sally, Helga, Magnus, Lila and Hugh are having a conversation which seems to be a little interesting. It seems that the parents are figuring out a way to spend their evening alone and make it a night to remember.

"How about we go to the movies?" Harold suggested.

"Been there, done that," Hugh replied. 'The last time Lila and I went to the movies during our anniversary, we had to leave early."

"Why?" Sally asked.

"Lila suggested that we watch a girly, chick flick movie, and sadly to say this, I went insane."

"And that we left our kids home alone," Lila spoke. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted them in the first place."

"How about dinner?" Honey suggested.

"BWA! Restaurants nowadays are always expensive!" Magnus roared. "We can't even have a nice evening together there with all the fancy butlers and expensive food that would have cost us our dear lives."

"Well how about this!" Sally said as she shows the parents a poster.

"A carnival?" Everyone cried.

"Not just a carnival," Sally spoke again. "An _adult _carnival. It's an once-in-a-lifetime experience."

"Hmm… sounds like fun." Magnus said. "All in favor for the adult carnival?"

"AYE!" The parents cheered.

"If opposing, yell NAY!"

No answer.

"Well then," Magnus spoke. "Adult carnival it is!"

"We'll meet back here at exactly 7pm." Hugh said.

"Oh," Lila spoke. "What about the kids?"

"Well," Honey spoke. "Brad is out on a date with Selena, Brianna's on her pageant night…"

"Phyllis is at the book convention and Kyle's at the video-game convention…" Sally spoke.

"Susan and Mary are at the science fair," Hugh replied. "And January's busy with her … job."

"So that only leaves Kick, Gunther Johnny and Avery then?" Helga replied.

"Just four kids?" Magnus spoke. "What do we do about them?"

"I have an idea," Harold spoke. "But I think the kids are not going to like it once they found out…"

()()()()()

Two hours later, Kick, Gunther, Johnny and Avery are prank calling yet again.

"It's time for a pre-dinner entertainment," Johnny said as he dials the number.

"Bling-Bling's Tavern." Bling-Bling Boy's voice is heard on the phone.

"Is Oliver there?" Johnny asked.

"Who?"

"Oliver Klozoff."

"Hold on I'll check."

At Bling-Bling's Tavern…

"Oliver Klozoff! Phone call for Oliver Klozoff!__Hey everybody! Get all of her clothes off!"

The bar denizens laugh again and race to a random woman and started pulling her clothes off.

"Oh you brutes!" the woman yelled as she whacks the bar denizens with her handbag.

()()()()()

"I'll try to contact a babysitter," Honey said as she reaches for the phone.

But before she can dial, she heard Bling-Bling Boy's voice.

"Listen you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!" Bling-Bling Boy yelled.

"Goodness," Honey spoke as she hangs up and dialed the numbers again. "Must be a crossed wire."

As soon as Honey dials the numbers, she is able to contact a babysitter.

"Happy Sunshine Babysitter Service," answered an old woman who is the boss of the company. "How may I help you?"

"This is Honey Buttowski," Honey spoke. "I'd like a babysitter for the evening."

"Wait a minute…"

The boss took a look at the bulletin board and saw photos of the Buttowski kids. Most of the photos are Brad and Brianna causing havoc. There seem to be no photos of Kick causing havoc at all.

"The Buttowskis?" the boss spoke as she went back on the phone again. "Lady you've got to be kidding me!"

The boss hangs up, leaving Honey upset. The boss is tired of having to send babysitters to babysit the Buttowskis. The Buttowski kids did nothing but cause havoc in the house and driving the babysitters insane, which would lead the babysitters to get fired or quit their jobs as babysitters. Ever since then, the boss tried various ways to avoid the Buttowskis getting a babysitter. As she does her paperwork, the telephone rang yet again.

"Happy Sunshine Babysitter Service," the boss answered. "How may I help you?"

"This is Mr. … Battowky and I'd like a babysitter for the evening." Harold answered this time.

"Did your wife just called a minute ago?"

"No I said Battowky, _not _Buttowski."

"Thank god!" the boss said in relief. "Those Buttowskis. What a bunch of savages. Especially that mail-loving father."

"D'OH!" Harold yelled. "Actually, the Buttowskis are neighbors of ours and we find them a bit misunderstood and underrated family!"

()()()()()

"Now what?" Avery spoke to Johnny. "Another prank calls to make this day the best day of our lives?"

"For once, I'm bored," Johnny replied.

"Wanna go to the video game arcade and then have a huge race down from Devil's grave to your cousin's lab?" Kick suggested.

"I like the sound of that Kick," Johnny spoke happily. "TO THE VIDEO GAME ARCADE!"

"Last one there is a rotten Kraken egg!" Gunther shouted. "BWA!"

Before Kick, Gunther, Johnny and Avery could rush out from the house, their respective parents walked in front of them, possibly blocking the door.

"Hey what gives?" Johnny was the first to speak.

"Kids," Harold spoke. "While we parents are going to be out tonight, you guys are going to have … _a babysitter._"

"A BABYSITTER!" Johnny, Kick, Gunther and Avery yelled.

"Why a babysitter?" Johnny spoke. "We're teenagers, not little kids."

"Well sweetie," Lila spoke. "It seems that your father and I still don't trust you to be home alone, after what happened during our anniversary last year."

"Well it's not my fault our old house got trashed. Susan and Mary did an experiment on themselves just to get Gil to love them. They transform themselves into babies. Babies I tell ya!"

"Johnny," Hugh said firmly. "I did tell you that you would be held responsible for any transformations in the house. And I did mention that you would be punished."

"But look on the bright side dear," Lila said calmly. "At least your friends are here while we're gone."

"But they still need a babysitter." Harold replied as he turns to Sally. "Remember the time Avery throws a party at her house while Sally is out on a date with another man?"

"Yeah and I didn't know that the party would turn out to be a hippies' party," Sally replied to Harold's statement. "All I've found in the house were smokes, pots, hookahs and blood! It's like a prison riot."

"What about Kick and Gunther?" Hugh asked.

"All they've done is engaging a battle between Brad and his friends while we're out," Honey replied. "It sickens me."

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Harold said as he opens the door to reveal a woman who is in her early 20s. She has short violet hair, tanned skin and dart lime eyes. She wore a green and yellow striped T-shirt, a blue miniskirt, black leggings and a pair of red combat boots.

"Kids, this is Suzanne." Honey said to Johnny, Gunther, Kick and Avery. "She'll be watching you kids for the evening."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Battowky." Suzanne replied.

"We'll we're off," Hugh said before he made eye contact with Suzanne while pointing at Johnny. "But watch out for that boy."

Johnny made a biting sound as Hugh, Lila, Honey, Harold, Sally, Helga and Magnus walk out of the door, leaving the teenagers under the care of Suzanne.

"So," Suzanne spoke. "Who wants to watch a movie? I've got _The Avengers, Star Trek, The Pink Panther, Iron Man 2, Toys Story, Tangled, _and a lot more from my bag, which by the way is strictly off-limits unless I say so."

"I'm settled for _The Avengers_." Johnny was the first to respond.

"Same here," replied Avery.

"Me too," Gunther replied also.

"Okay. _The Avengers _it is." Suzanne said as she puts the DVD in and turns on the TV.

As the movie plays, Kick's phone went off.

"Can I be excused to my room?" Kick asked Suzanne. "I've got a call to answer."

"Sure thing Kick," Suzanne replied. "I'll be at the kitchen if anyone needs me."

Kick leaves the living room and went up to his room to answer the incoming call. As he answers, he saw White Leader.

"Agent Kick, we need to talk," White Leader spoke.

"Can't," Kick replied. "I'm forced to be watched by a babysitter here."

"This won't take long. First, I want you to turn on your laptop."

Kick grabs his laptop from his desk and turns it on. Then as he sets it up, White Leader speaks again.

"Now, I'm uploading a video to your computer. Don't leave the room, or hang up that darn phone."

Kick nods as White Embassy uploads a video onto Kick's laptop. Kick pressed the play button and watched the video.

_"Agent January, are you online?" White Spy cried._

_"I'm online." January replied as she walks into an alleyway._

_"What's the status?"_

_"This is the same alleyway that White Leader told us about Black Spy's disappearance. But there seems to be no trace of both Black Spy's whereabouts or the evidence of his disappearance."_

_Just then, January heard noises._

_"What's that?" White Spy asked January._

_"I think it's the wind." January replied._

_But what January doesn't know is that a tall, dark figure sneaks up behind her and knocks her out cold._

_"January?" White Spy spoke. "January! What's going on?"_

_All White Spy could hear is an evil laughter and then, the next thing he knew, January disappeared._

"January and Black Spy vanished?" Kick spoke to White Leader.

"I'm afraid so Agent Kick," White Leader replied sadly. "And just to be sure that no more of our agents are to disappear into thin air, I order you to stay put inside your house until we can get to the bottom of this."

"What about the others?"

"They will get the same order. Just to set the record straight, until we get to the bottom of this situation and until January and Black Spy are found, the remaining spies of both embassies - White and Black are to stay put and keep a low profile."

"Yes sir."

But Kick didn't notice a dark and tall figure climbing into his room via through his window. This time, Kick had a sudden chill in his spines. He turns around and saw the dark figure - the same one who is behind January and Black Spy's disappearance.

"Lights out," said the dark figure.

Before Kick could fight, the dark figure knocks him out cold and then, took Kick away and vanished.

"Agent Kick?" White Leader cried. "Are you still online?"

But no answer.

"Jeepers. There goes another one."

()()()()()

Johnny, Avery and Gunther had just finished watching _The Avengers, _and Johnny had the nerve to make another prank in one day.

"Don't you think you had enough prank calls in one day?" Avery questioned Johnny. "Although it is Friday."

"Avery," Johnny spoke as he dials the numbers. "Would it kill you to have a little sense of humor once in a while?"

"Well not exactly but, knock yourself out on it."

As Johnny dials, Gunther had an uncomfortable feeling.

"What's wrong Gunther?" Avery asked Gunther.

"I had this feeling that Kick isn't here," Gunther replied. "It's not like Kick to miss out on a prank call. Especially when Johnny makes the prank calls."

"Yeah. I wonder what happened to him though. He should've finished that phone call hours ago."

"Bling-Bling's Tavern," Bling-Bling Boy would answer on the phone.

"Hi is Eural there?" Johnny asked. "Last name Snotballs."

"Just a sec…"

At Bling-Bling's Tavern…

"Eural Snotballs!" Bling-Bling Boy called out. "Eural Snotballs. Hey everybody! You're all snotballs!"

The bar denizens did nothing but laugh at Bling-Bling Boy as some swear and gave him the middle finger for such an insult.

"What the..." Bling-Bling Boy spoke again on the phone. "It's you, isn't it you cowardly little runt! When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!"

Johnny hangs up, laughs, and then notice a concern look on Gunther's face.

"Why the long face?" Johnny asked Gunther as his laughter died. "Did you find the prank call funny?"

"Oh it's not the prank call I'm concerned of, although it is funny." Gunther spoke. "It's Kick that I'm worried about."

"He's still on the phone Gunther. He'll hang up anytime now."

"Maybe you're right, but ... what if something happened to him without any of us knowing?"

"Then there's only one thing to do." Avery spoke.

"Please tell me you're not thinking about visiting Mr. Sin at this time of day." Johnny begged. "The last time we did that, he got kidnapped by the lady who was supposed to be killed by Billy Stumps, and we had to clear his name for God's sake."

"Hmm. A good idea, but not this time. What I'm thinking this time is that we all go to Kick's room and see what's keeping him on the phone."

"For once, you're right. TO THE ROOM OF KICK BUTTOWSKI!"

()()()()()

"Hey Kick! Are you done talking on the phone yet?" Johnny yelled as he, Avery and Gunther marched into Kick's room.

But what they found in Kick's room instead is his cell phone.

"Well what do ya know," Johnny spoke confidently. "Kick's actually finished talking on the phone. But that doesn't explain why he didn't come down in the first place."

"That's because he's been kidnapped you flame-headed jackass!" shouted a voice. "Like all the other spies that have been kidnapped!"

"Did you just say that?" Johnny asked Avery.

"It wasn't me." Avery replied. "And besides, that was a _male _voice."

"It actually came from this," Gunther replied as he showed Avery and Johnny the cell phone with White Leader still online.

"Kick had been kidnapped by a mysterious figure." White Leader spoke again. "Are you his friends?"

"Yes," Avery replied. "But I'm the cousin."

"Right. But listen to this. White Spy had found a DNA of the culprit and here are the results."

The cell phone then shows a picture of a woman who is in her early 20s. She has short violet hair, tanned skin and dart lime eyes. She wore a green and yellow striped T-shirt, a blue miniskirt, black leggings and a pair of red combat boots.

"That's our babysitter Suzanne!" Gunther cried. "She stole our Kick!"

"You got that right kiddies!" said a familiar female voice. It was Suzanne.

"So it was you that is behind Kick's disappearance," Avery said to Suzanne.

"Yes it was me. But what can you do about it? No one will believe that a babysitter kidnapped an unsuspected, yet dumb child like Kick."

"Um first of all, Kick is _not _dumb." Gunther spoke. "And second of all, _WHERE IS HE?"_

"You'll never find him." Suzanne replied with a smirk on her face. "It's going to be like finding a needle in a haystack."

"She's right Gunther," Avery told Gunther. "We'll never be able to find Kick, unless…"

()()()()()

At the other side of town, Quagmire is drunk as he is a complete retard with interests on women. As he walks along the sidewalks at the lonesome part of town where there is no excitement going on, he saw a violet-haired woman who wore a red stripper's dress. She is tied up and gagged to a lamppost and there's no one but Quagmire to help her.

"GIGGITY!" Quagmire yelled as soon as he saw the bounded woman. "I've hit the jackpot!"

The woman struggles and cries for help through the gag as Quagmire walks up closer to her.

"MMPH! MMPH!" was all the woman could say.

"What do you say that you and I could have some … alone time together?" Quagmire asked the woman.

"Alright Quagmire, that's enough." said a voice which belongs to Avery who hid in the alley to see the event. Gunther and Johnny were also hiding in the alley as well.

"Aw come on kid? Can't a guy have a good time?" Quagmire begged. "I promise I won't do something terrible to her."

"We had a deal. You torture this woman and we give you a thousand bucks in return. With that, you could get yourself another woman to torture with, like say … mummification."

"But-"

"Take it or leave it. Your choice."

Quagmire sighs as he took a thousand bucks and left. Johnny walks up to the gagged woman and took the gag off. The woman is actually Suzanne.

"What the hell was that you little brats!" Suzanne yelled.

""Now will you tell us where Kick is?" Avery spoke. "Or do we have to torture you a bit further?"

"Do your worse!"

"Okay then. QUAGMIRE!"

"Giggity?" Quagmire spoke as he came back as fast as he could.

"She's all yours." Avery said as she shows him Suzanne.

"Alright! So what do you want me to do with her?"

"Go to the nearest sex shop you can find, buy a bondage tape and mummify her alive. Make sure she doesn't escape. And then, you can have your 'little fun' with her."

"Alright! We're gonna party!"

()()()()()

"Had enough Suzanne?" Avery asked a mummified Suzanne.

"I'll never tell you where Kick is!" Suzanne yelled. "You're gonna have to do better than that!"

"Now what?" Gunther asked Avery.

"Then I guess we have no options left but to do _this._" Avery replied as she pulls out a needle.

"What's that?" Johnny asked.

"You'll see."

Avery walks up to Suzanne and injects a needle on her.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" Suzanne asked Avery. "It's … making me … sleepy."

"Just a little something to make the torture go further." Avery replied. "Once it's finished, you'll be looking more different than ever and I'll give you a hint."

"And ….what's … the … hint?"

Suzanne then fell asleep.

"Size matters." Avery replied.

About a half-hour later, Suzanne woke up and finds herself shrunk to the size of a pebble.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?" Suzanne yelled in a squeaky voice. "AND WHY IS IT THAT MY VOICE SOUNDED LIKE A CHIPMUNK!"

"It's a little something I bought from the sex shop earlier," Avery said confidently. "And from the looks of it, it's only temporally, unless otherwise it'll be permanent for Quagmire to enjoy."

"What do I have to do to end this torture! I don't want to be a squeaking-voiced mummy in the size of a pebble! I'll do anything!"

"Anything?"

"Yes! Just get me back to normal!"

"Do you happen to know where Kick Buttowski is or do you want me to torture you further and leave you helpless with Quagmire over there?"

"Giggity!" Quagmire shouted.

"Shut the hell up!" Avery yelled at Quagmire.

"Aw."

"Alright I'll tell you where Kick is!" Suzanne shouted. "Just get me back to normal already!"

"Tell me where Kick is first." Avery said again.

"Alright. I left him in an abandon warehouse called Dire 13 at the docks in the outskirts of town!"

"That's all I needed to hear."

Avery injects a needle on Suzanne and then, Suzanne grows back to normal size, but is still mummified.

"See?" Avery spoke again. "Was it _so _hard to answer my question?"

Avery was about to leave, but she noticed that Suzanne is still mummified.

"I can't stay like this y'know." Suzanne said looking annoyed. "And I certainly don't want to stay with Quagmire any longer."

"Don't worry about Quagmire," Avery spoke. "I took care of him. He should be back in Quahog just about … now."

()()()()()

In Quahog, Connie D'Amico is walking in town when Quagmire jumps in and before Connie could react; Quagmire pulls out a bondage tape and mummified her.

"Giggity!" Quagmire shouted. "I've hit the jackpot! Again!"

()()()()()

Avery is outside with Gunther and Johnny as they listen to Avery's plan.

"So Suzanne finally told you where Kick is?" Gunther asked Avery.

"Kick is located at Dire 13 at the dock in the outskirts of town." Avery replied. "Lucky for us, we're not far away from it."

"But before we do that," Johnny spoke as he pulls out a cell phone and dial the numbers. "I have some unfinished business to take care of."

"What kind of unfinished business?" Avery replied, looking suspicious.

"Prank calls."

"Oh brother."

"Bling-Bling's Tavern," Bling-Bling Boy would answer on the phone.

"Hi is Ms. O'Problem there?" Johnny asked. "First initial B."

"Just a sec…"

At Bling-Bling's Tavern…

"B O'Problem!" Bling-Bling Boy called out. "B. O'Problem. Hey everybody! Do I have a B. O'Problem here?"

"You sure do!" Papercut Peterson yelled.

The bar denizens laugh at Bling-Bling Boy.

"What the..." Bling-Bling Boy spoke again on the phone. "You puny little runt! When I get my clean hands on you, I'm gonna mace you!"

Johnny laugh as he hang up, but his laughter died down when he saw frowns on Avery and Gunther.

"Fine," Johnny replied in defeat. "I'll stop with the prank calls and help find Kick."

()()()()()

In the White Embassy, White Leader is as usual working when all of a sudden; a video is uploaded on his computer.

"What could this video hold?" White Leader wondered as he opened the file.

"_Hello White Leader!" said a voice._

"Who the hell is this?" White Leader barked. "I'm not amused."

"_Now don't give that look." the voice said again. "If you must know, I'm your worst nightmare."_

"You don't scare me."

"_Oh really? What if I show you THIS!"_

_The camera then zooms to what seems to be a pinkish orb. Inside the orb are three people who are tied up and gagged. One is a grown man with a pointy nose who wore a black suit and hat. The second is a blond girl with red highlights and wore it in a ponytail and the third is a young kid who wore a daredevil's jumpsuit and helmet._

"The missing spies!" White Leader cried. "What did you do to them!"

"_Nothing." the voice spoke again, chuckling in the process. "For now."_

"What do you mean for now? What do you want from me?"

"_Simple. All I'm asking is that you give me the red folder with a star on it. Do so and I'll do your spies no harm. Refuse and the spies will get what's coming from them. You have one hour."_

The video ends, leaving White Spy speechless. What will he do now?

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Avery, Johnny and Gunther walked their way in the outskirts of town until they finally found Dire 13. It looks rather abandon.

"So now we go in and find Kick," Johnny said. "Easy as pie."

"Not likely." Avery replied. "It's possible that Suzanne placed booby-traps all over the warehouse to prevent others from going in. But thanks to Gunther's cousin who is half-ghost, we'll be able to get inside no problem."

"And how do we do that?" Gunther asked. "Use invisibility and go through walls like a ghost?"

"You've read my mind."

Avery walks towards the wall and just like that, she went through. Johnny and Gunther are amazed at this. True to Avery's words, Johnny and Gunther did the same and then, all three of them are inside Dire 13. As they walked and walked they stopped and saw to what seems to be a pinkish orb. Inside the orb are three people who are tied up and gagged. One is a grown man with a pointy nose who wore a black suit and hat. The second is a blond girl with red highlights and wore it in a ponytail and the third is a young kid who wore a daredevil's jumpsuit and helmet.

"It's Kick!" Gunther cried.

"And there's January and Black Spy as well," Johnny replied. "But now, how do we get them out of there?"

"You don't." said a voice, not far away. "They'll never leave this building alive!"

"Wait a minute," Avery spoke in tense. "I know that voice before."

The voice grew closer and closer until it stops in front of the three children. Avery gave out a frown.

"Father, the evilest and nastiest adult in the world." Avery spoke in tense again. "What the hell did you do to them?"

"Oh, it's none of your concern Numbuh 12," Father replied coldly. "In fact, this has nothing to do with you at all."

"Oh really?"

"Trust me my dear; it's not you whom I'm after this time."

"Who are you going after this time?"

"I'm going after your cousin's boss."

"Whoa," Johnny spoke. "Kick has a boss?"

"Duh!" Gunther replied. "The only boss that Kick has would be White Leader of the White Embassy."

"Correct my chubby friend," Father spoke again. "In one hour, he should be giving me a folder or else the spies over there will perish. But since you kids are here, I have something in stored for such an occasion."

Father then activates a cage which traps Johnny, Avery and Gunther inside.

"A cage?" Avery replied looking rather annoyed. "Really?"

"I'm out of ideas anyway." Father replied. "Anyway, so long suckers!"

Father left, leaving six people in the warehouse helpless.

"Now what?" Gunther asked.

Johnny pulls out his cell phone.

"Again with the prank calls?" Avery said in annoyance.

"Aw come on you guys," Johnny replied. "Where's your sense of –"

But before Johnny could finish his sentence, he saw the anger in Avery and Gunther's eyes. They are dead serious about that phone.

"Fine! I won't do any more prank calls for the night."

"Promise?" Avery spoke again.

"I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Okay, now how do we get out of this?" Gunther asked Avery.

Avery is already busy as she used her gun and blasted the lock into pieces, setting the three children free in the process.

"And the spies?"

"That's a different story."

As Johnny, Avery and Gunther walked closer to the orb, they could see Kick struggling to get himself free. January and Black Spy are also struggling to get free.

"How do we get them down from up there?" Johnny asked. "It's impossible."

Avery noticed a switch and just like that, she pulls the switch and the orb slowly flies down and dissolves to let the three bounded spies free from the orb's prison.

"Father may be evil," Avery spoke as she unties Kick. "But for some odd reasons, he's pretty much lame."

"How did you find us?" Kick asked as he unties January and Black Spy.

"We had to get our babysitter to tell us where you are." Avery replied. "It's worth three tortures to get her to talk and out of all three tortures, Quagmire participated."

"Giggity!" Quagmire cried from nowhere.

"Do you always appear out of nowhere whenever Avery mentioned your name?" Gunther asked Quagmire.

"Well it's no big deal anyway. It's obvious that the fans can't resist the good looking Quagmire. Oh yeah!"

"Get the hell out of here!" Johnny yelled.

"Aw." Quagmire said as he leaves. "No one wants a Quagmire."

"I never knew that Suzanne would be behind all this." Kick said to Avery. "Speaking of Suzanne, what's with her?"

()()()()()

In Quagmire's house, Suzanne is still mummified, along with all the other mummified women that Quagmire kidnapped.

()()()()()

"Let's just say that she's occupied for a while," Avery replied. "Anyway, let's go home."

The others agree as they went back home, safe and sound.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

"I'm still bored!" Johnny whined as he is back in Kick's house with Kick, Gunther and Avery. "There's nothing else to do."

As Johnny scans the house, he saw the telephone.

"Maybe you won't get bored after all." Avery replied with a smile on her face.

"But you said I had enough doing prank calls." Johnny said, looking concerned.

"I know you wanted to do a prank call badly, so I'm letting you do it. It's your sake."

Johnny grabs the telephone and dialed the numbers.

"Bling-Bling's Tavern," Bling-Bling Boy would answer on the phone.

"Hi is Seymour there?" Johnny asked. "Last name Buts."

"Hold please…"

At Bling-Bling's Tavern…

"Seymour Buts!" Bling-Bling Boy called out. "Seymour Buts! Hey everybody! I wanna see more butts?"

The bar denizens laugh at Bling-Bling Boy.

"Now wait just a darn minute!" Bling-Bling Boy spoke again on the phone. "When I get a hold of you, you're dead! I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!"

As soon as Johnny hangs up, he and the others laugh.


	22. It's the Great Catfight Gwen!

_**It's the Great Catfight Gwen**_

_**Summary: **__While out to get something for her sister, Gwen Axle noticed a catfight between Avery and Annabelle and is worried that their friendship would come to an end._

_**Guest Starring: **__Gwen Axle who is Phoenix-LOL's OC_

_**Note: This tale is originally going to be called "Brunettes vs. Blondes"**_

Gwen Axle's life in Mellowbrook was swell and easy. It's been one year since she moves there with her older sister Kat. Life in Mellowbrook was a bit hard for her, but with the help of Kick Buttowski, she got used to living in Mellowbrook.

But her tale starts when she first steps out of her new home, her cell phone rang.

"Hello?" Gwen answered.

"Gwen, can you stop by the mall and pick up some more lipstick for me?" replied Kat.

"Can't you do that later? It's Saturday."

"I'm stuck at a meeting and won't have time later. Please? I'll owe you."

"Okay.

"Thanks! Got to go, love you bye!"

The line went dead.

"That's just great." Gwen muttered as she walks towards the mall. "One perfect Saturday and I have to get something for my sister."

Gwen approaches the beauty store and just like that, she bought some more lipstick for Kat. Before she could leave the mall, she heard some yelling and screaming from a distance. She followed the sound of that and was shocked at what she saw.

In front of her own eyes, Gwen saw Avery and Annabelle fighting and yelling at each other.

"You brunettes just don't know when to quit do ya?" Annabelle yelled at Avery's face. "You guys are more suited as bitches than us blondes!"

"Oh yeah?" Avery yelled back. "You're a dumb blonde! All you do is play sports and act like a child!"

"How dare you! You're a bitchy brunette cuz all you ever do in your life is kill people with that stupid gun of yours and smoke like a slut!"

"You dare to insult a hippie! I'm not pleased at all!"

"If you keep this up, you'll never get a boyfriend!"

"! OH THAT DOES IT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

Avery ran up to Annabelle and pinned her to the ground. She gave Annabelle a coupe of punches in the face. In return, Annabelle grabbed Avery's arm and threw her into a nearby store, possibly destroying the store in the process. Avery did the same to Annabelle and for the next few minutes, Avery and Annabelle fought against each other while destroying the mall.

"STOP THIS INSTANT!" Gwen yelled which made Avery and Annabelle froze in their positions.

"Gwen?" Annabelle was the first to speak.

"Is something wrong?" Avery replied to Gwen.

"Look at yourselves!" Gwen spoke to the girls again. "You guys are destroying each other and your friendship! Don't you guys have anything to say for yourselves?"

For once, Avery and Annabelle are speechless. How did they get into this mess in the first place?

"It must be from what had happened in English class just 2 weeks ago."

()()()()()

2 weeks ago…

"Welcome class to our first ever debate in English Class." Lila Test said as the 7th and 8th graders took their seats in English class. "We would now like to welcome two leaders from two sides, Kendall Perkins and Janet Nelson Jr."

The class applaud as Kendall and Janet took their position up front.

"I bet Kendall had a thing or two as class president." Avery whispered to Annabelle. "She's one of the smart students."

"Same here with Janet," Annabelle whispered back. "Of course, Janet would have to be a spoiled princess in order to win the debate."

"She's already a spoiled princess. Even more so than Gordon Gibbles."

"Oh, right."

"Today, I am here to discuss about the cafeteria menu," Kendall began. "As you can see, we don't get that much healthy stuff in our systems and we all fear that we're not getting enough vitamins. So as you all know, I say we force the staff to bring in more healthy food to keep our lives longer and healthier."

The class cheer at this discussion.

"Kendall is really into character," Avery said to Annabelle.

"She may be bossy, but at least she's good natured, unlike _someone _I know." Annabelle replied back.

"That was excellent Kendall," Lila said before she turned to Janet. "Janet. Would you care to do a cross-examination?"

"Sure." Janet replied before turning to Kendall. "Kendall Perkins."

"Yes?" Kendall replied.

"How ever did you come up with such marvellous idea? Are you really that smart, or it is the fact that you're a fraud because you are considered a dumb blonde?"

The class gasped at this.

"She did not just say that." Annabelle whispered to Avery.

"That really hurts man." Avery replied. "It really hurts."

"What must you think that all blonde girls are dumb?" Kendall protested again.

"Simple," Janet replied confidently. "All blonde girls are nothing but bitches and sluts, just like Connie D'Amico. They can't even solve a simple math problem. We brunettes are smarter, prettier and _more_ focused than dumb, ugly blondes like you"

"Ooh," Avery spoke again. "Janet had _crossed _the line."

"She can't say that to us blondes," Annabelle replied. "We're all the same."

"Oh you think you're smart on this?" Kendall yelled at Janet again.

"Honey, don't ask that question," Janet replied confidently. "Only a brunette could ask that question."

"Oh really? Well then, I guess I have a new debate to share with the other girls at school."

"Really? Let's hear it."

"From now on, all the girls in this school will be split into two groups! One group will be all blondes and the other group will be all brunettes! Think you can handle that?"

"Oh I can handle that sister. You've just gotten yourself a war!"

"A girls' war!"

"Bring it on sister!"

Just then, the school bell rang and it's lunchtime. Avery and Annabelle went to their respective lockers and walked to the cafeteria together.

"Do you think that Kendall and Janet are serious about this girl war?" Annabelle asked Avery. "Because I don't want to be in a war."

"Relax Annabelle," Avery replied. "What can they do to make their little war official?"

But as Avery and Annabelle enter the cafeteria, they saw two groups sitting on each side of the room. On the left side are a bunch of blonde girls led by Kendall Perkins and on the right are a bunch of brunette girls led by Janet. There were some other girls as well that are not part of the group, mainly because they're neither blonde nor brunette. Some of the boys on the other hand just don't care.

"Okay, maybe I'm wrong about that." Avery spoke again.

As Avery and Annabelle took their respective seats, Janet and Kendall walked up to them and both are disappointed.

"Annabelle, how could you?" Kendall spoke to Annabelle. "Why are you having lunch with this brunette bully?"

"I'm right here y'know!" Avery barked. "And I'm not a bully."

"Look Kendall," Annabelle spoke. "Avery's my best friend."

"Why are you having lunch with that dumb blonde jock?" Janet spoke to Avery.

"Annabelle's my best friend y'know," Avery replied. "Her hair color really doesn't matter to me anyway. She may be a jock, but that doesn't mean that she's dumb."

"HA! Have you ever recalled the last time the dumb blonde jock flunked History and your daredevil cousin had to tutor her for a few days to get her marks up? I mean c'mon girl. First we noticed that your cousin is not only a daredevil, but a smarty pants like Perkins over here, and now we saw you having lunch with the dumb blonde jock!"

"That's enough Janet!

From what I've seen here, you and Kendall are acting like complete jerks! Wouldn't that apply to the boys as well since Johnny is blond while Kick is brunette?

"Ooooooooooooh." the kids at the cafeteria echoed.

"How dare you say that to us you ...brunette bully!" Kendall yelled at Avery.

"Can't you see that we two are more superior than you two sissies?" Janet replied as well. "And for that, we will have to keep our eyes and ears on you two, making sure that none of you are to see each other again!"

"WHAT!" Avery and Annabelle cried in shock.

"You can't force us to end our friendship!" Avery yelled.

"We just did brunette bully." Kendall said as she grabbed Annabelle's arm and forced her to sit with the other blondes.

"Come along now Buttowski," Janet told Avery as she grabs her by the arm. "Your new friends are waiting."

Avery and Annabelle could do nothing but took one last look at each other. Their friendship is ruined.

()()()()()

The next day, Annabelle went to the Food N' Fix to get herself a can of Cheetah Chug. As she went there, she saw Avery inside the store as well. Also buying a can of Cheetah Chug.

"Avery?" Annabelle spoke. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting a drink, duh." Avery replied. "And you?"

"Same here."

Avery noticed a sad look on Annabelle's face.

"Why the face?" Avery spoke.

"Being in a girls' war sucks." Annabelle replied. "We're not allowed to hang out at school like the good times anymore."

"Look. Kendall and Janet said we can't hang out at school as long as their war is continuing, but they didn't say anything about hanging out _outside _of school property."

"Y'know Avery. You're right. We should hang out after school more often."

"That's the spirit. Let just hope it works.

But as the days went by, Annabelle and Avery's plan to see each other more often after school had proven to be very difficult. No matter how hard the girls tried, the other blonds and brunettes would always find a way to keep them apart.

()()()()()

"It's not working Avery," Annabelle cried on the phone. "We've tried everything."

"I know." Avery replied. "I just don't think it's going to work."

"But I can't find a new best friend now. My looks aren't what it used to be."

"I'll never find another best friend who is brunette."

"I'll never find another friend ever!"

()()()()()

The next day at school, Avery is entering the library when all of a sudden, she saw Annabelle sitting next to Sissy.

"So Sissy, we've never really hang out much." Annabelle spoke to Sissy. "What exactly do you do?"

"I make bets on other people and try to win them, scheme and go shopping with other girls." Sissy replied.

"Ever though of going to Quahog and beat the snots out of the Griffins? Especially that fatass Peter?"

"What is Sissy doing here?" Avery spoke to Annabelle.

"She's my blonde science partner." Annabelle replied. "Anyway, you're not suppose to be here when another blonde or brunette is here. The blondes will think you're a spy and the brunettes will think you're a traitor."

"So? It would've been the same for you to."

"This is boring," Sissy said as she leaves the library. "I'm gonna find Test and challenge him to a duel at video games instead."

()()()()()

"Say Jackie, what do you do for fun?" Avery asked Jackie.

"For fun, I chase Kick around and get him to marry me someday," Jackie replied in her wacky state. "But of course, he always gets away."

Avery shutters.

()()()()()

At the mall, Annabelle is at the food court with 16-year old Cleo Carter (_**A/N: she's the African-American girl from the cartoon show Tutenstein).**_

"Any luck finding a new best friend?" Cleo asked Annabelle.

"Sadly no." Annabelle replied.

"Are you still going to be Avery's friend?"

"What? Are you kidding me? I'd be friends with her if she was the last brunette on Earth!"

"Why are you so angry at her? She's your best friend."

"_Ex-_best friend. There's a huge difference y'know."

But what Annabelle didn't know is that Avery is spying on her and sadly to say this, Avery's kinda hurt.

"Dumb blonde jock." Avery mutters as she leaves when she saw Gwen Axle walking by.

"Hi Avery," Gwen said to Avery.

"Hey Gwen," Avery replied badly, in a monotone.

"Is something wrong?"

Avery sighs as she told Gwen the story, from the debate class, to where she and Annabelle are no longer friends.

"Avery," Gwen spoke again. "Why can't you just tell Annabelle that you missed her?"

"Cause unlike Annabelle, I'm just a brunette bully with no epiphany."

"I gotta go now. Kat's expecting me."

Gwen then left.

()()()()()

The next day, Avery went to the mall alone to get something when all of a sudden, she saw Annabelle going to the mall all by herself.

"Oh," Annabelle spoke when she saw Avery. "I didn't see you here."

"Oh, hey." Avery replied. "What are you doing here? And where's your new friend?"

"Which one? I have lots of them."

"So it isn't hard for you to find another best friend eh? I though we had something in common."

"None of this would've happened if you haven't made witty remarks during that debate!"

"Oh and I suppose if I haven't done that, you would've been a whole lot smarter and not look like a dumb blonde jock like you are today!"

"You brunettes just don't know when to quit do ya?" Annabelle yelled at Avery's face. "You guys are more suited as bitches than us blondes!"

"Oh yeah?" Avery yelled back. "You're a dumb blonde! All you do is play sports and act like a child!"

"How dare you! You're a bitchy brunette cuz all you ever do in your life is kill people with that stupid gun of yours and smoke like a slut!"

"You dare to insult a hippie! I'm not pleased at all!"

"If you keep this up, you'll never get a boyfriend!"

"! OH THAT DOES IT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

Avery ran up to Annabelle and pinned her to the ground. She gave Annabelle a coupe of punches in the face. In return, Annabelle grabbed Avery's arm and threw her into a nearby store, possibly destroying the store in the process. Avery did the same to Annabelle and for the next few minutes, Avery and Annabelle fought against each other while destroying the mall. But they didn't notice that Gwen is watching the entire fight. This has to stop.

"STOP THIS INSTANT!" Gwen yelled which made Avery and Annabelle froze in their positions.

"Gwen?" Annabelle was the first to speak.

"Is something wrong?" Avery replied to Gwen.

"Look at yourselves!" Gwen spoke to the girls again. "You guys are destroying each other and your friendship! Don't you guys have anything to say for yourselves?"

For once, Avery and Annabelle are speechless.

"Annabelle," Avery spoke. "I ... uh..."

"What is it Avery?" Annabelle replied.

"I uh..."

Avery took a look at Gwen who signals her to tell Annabelle the truth.

"I miss my best friend." Avery said finally to Annabelle.

"I feel the same way." Annabelle replied as she pulls out a guitar. "Let us put it in song."

_**Annabelle: **__Just when I thought I had to make it alone  
>You were right there by my side<br>Making a stand holding my hand, the way you do  
>Then to remind me of a "me and you"<em>

_When I'm with you all my fear disappears  
>Like if I reach I'll touch the sky<br>You've got my back, pick up my slack when I can't see  
>But nothing keeps me up like knowing we'll be<em>

_**Avery and Annabelle: **__Friends forever  
>Face whatever<br>Friends forever __**(Gwen: **__Yay!__**)**__  
>We're never gonna be apart<em>

_**Avery: **__You and me we are so oddly the same  
>The way we think, the way we play<br>Right from the start, so off the chart, about this thing  
>But we didn't know at first that we were making<em>

_**Avery and Annabelle: **__Friends forever  
>Bond together<br>Friends forever yeah!  
>We'll always be there<em>

_**Gwen: **__Oh yes there also can be times that get rough  
>And all that can be said is "sorry"<br>That you were wrong and said some meaningless stuff  
>And you'll go on together through any nasty weather yeah!<em>

_**Avery and Annabelle: **__Friends forever  
><em>_**(Gwen: **__Friends forever)  
>Bond together<br>__**(Gwen: **__Friends forever)  
>Friends forever<br>__**(Gwen: **__Friends forever)  
>Bond together<br>Friends forever  
>Face whatever<br>__**(Gwen:**__ Friends forever)  
>Bond together<em>

"Look guys," Gwen spoke again. "If you guys want to be friends again, Kendall and Janet have to make up and call it a truce. What do ya say? Shall we do this?"

"We're with you Gwen." Avery replied as she gives Gwen a handshake. "Let's do this."

()()()()()

At school, Kendall and Janet are at another debate in which this time, it's the battle between the brunette girls and the blonde girls. While Kendall and Janet argued, Avery, Annabelle and Gwen step inside the gym.

"Buttowski?" Janet was the first to speak. "What the hell are you doing with the dumb blond jock?"

"Dumb blonde jock eh?" Annabelle spoke to Janet. "It is you who is the brunette bully here, not Avery."

Annabelle then turns to Wade who is holding a saxophone.

"Hit it Wade!" Annabelle said as Wade plays the song.

_**Annabelle: **__You're just a brunette bully  
>With no piece of epiphany<em>

_**Gwen and Avery: **__With no piece of epiphany._

_**Annabelle: **__You're just a brunette bully  
>(<em>_**Gunther and Kick**__: Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum)  
>With no piece of epiphany.<em>

_**Gwen and Avery: **__With no piece of epiphany._

_**Annabelle: **__We may be poor  
>But your hear is sour<br>(__**Gunther and Kick**__: Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum)  
>We have epiphany<br>But you're just a brunette bully._

_**Avery: **__She's just a brunette bully_

_**Annabelle: **__A brunette bully_

_**Avery: **__A brunette bully_

_**Annabelle: **__With no piece of epiphany._

_**Gwen and Avery: **__With no piece of epiphany._

_**Annabelle: **__With no piece of epiphany._

_**Gunther and Kick**__: Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum_

_**Annabelle: **__Yeah._

"You see Janet," Gwen spoke to Janet. "You're insult on Kendall's hair color during the debate is what created this war, and as for the consequences, Avery's friendship with Annabelle was in jeopardy. You not only declared war on the blondes, you destroyed Avery's friendship with those who are mostly _blonde_. She rarely has any brunette friends, aside from Lydia Cooper, the English-Egyptian girl."

"I see," Janet replied, now showing some epiphany as she turns to Kendall. "Kendall. I'm sorry for making fun of your hair."

"We'll I'm kinda sorry too for losing my temper on something that is ridiculous." Kendall replied. "Truce?"

"Truce."

Janet and Kendall exchange handshake which caused all the girls to cheer. The war is officially over. But the cheering died down as Peter Griffin (for some odd reasons which I cannot control) breaks inside the school.

"Oh come on you girls!" Peter said stupidly. "How come you ended the war? It was freakin' sweet! I know the blondes are going to lose because they're dumb sluts and bitches while the brunettes will win because they're a bunch of smart asses! As for the red-haired girls, they're just as ugly as Meg Griffin and I don't give a damn about it!"

Now this one shocked all the girls in the class, even Gwen Axle.

"Care to declare another war?" Avery asked Kendall and Janet as she pulls out her gun.

"Only this time, it's everyone in this school against the fatass over there?" Annabelle replied as she pulls out a Viking axe.

"Way ahead of you." Janet replied as she pulls out a crowbar while Kendall pulls out a paintbrush.

"Uh-oh," Peter panicked.

"CHARGE!" Kendall cried as the entire school surrounded a frightened Peter Griffin and beat the snots out of him.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Principal Henry is just coming out of the restroom and is about to enter the gym when all of a sudden, he saw every single student still beating up Peter.

"What the hell is going on here?" Principal Henry yelled which made everyone froze. "Who gave you the rights to beat up a poor, fat man?"

"He started with his stupid jokes about the girls." Kick replied as he is holding a baseball bat.

"I don't care if that man made dirty jokes, I demand to know his identity!"

But when Principal Henry took a closer look at a bruised Peter, he was shocked and is smiling evilly at the same time.

"Peter Griffin eh?" Principal Henry sneered this time. "Alright kids, you can continue on beating him up."

Peter screams as the kids continue on beating him up, as Principal Henry pulls out a chair and a book and then sits and watch the show.


	23. The Daredevil Who Knew Too Much

_**The Daredevil Who Knew Too Much**_

_**Summary: **__Kick escapes from going to Brianna's pageant show one day and while doing so, he witnesses an event in which Francine Smith is accused of beating up a snooty housemaid. Though some believed that Francine is guilty, only Kick witnessed something else, but he would have to admit that he didn't go to the pageant if he testifies._

_**Guests Starring: **__Hayley Smith, Francine Smith and Roger from Seth MacFarlane's animated show "American Dad"_

Kick is asleep in one Saturday morning. He is dreaming that he is one day, a famous daredevil. But his dream was put on hold when his mom called out his name.

"Wake up Kick!" Honey cried as Kick woke up. "Today's your sister's beauty pageant."

"No!" Kick cried. "Anything but the pageant!"

"I'm sorry Kick, but this entire family is going to see the pageant. And I mean it this time. Now get changed and freshen up. The pageant starts in two hours."

Kick sighs as he gets out of bed and puts on his usual jumpsuit. It was Saturday for God's sake. Saturday is all about going down Devil's Grave and hanging out with friends, and maybe go out on a date with Kendall if he had time. But no, Kick had to spend his Saturday going to Brianna's stupid pageant. He could never get annoyed by the screams of the girls who are acting like spoiled brats, and the mingling of the mothers who all say that their daughters are perfection to them. Could they say that to their sons who are all at least trying to earn their mothers' trust? Nope. They would say that their sons are a waste of time and they act like pigs. Ha! Imagine Honey telling the other mothers that Kick Buttowski, the suburban daredevil, is a waste of her time and is worthless to her.

Just once, Kick would do anything to get away from seeing that pageant. Even if it would cost him both his own dignity and his mother's trust.

The Buttowskis got into the car and drove off to the place where the pageant is being held. Once there, the family went inside and took their seats. But one of them wasn't with them – Kick. It appears that as the family were about to go inside, Kick had the opportunity to hide in one of the trash cans and wait until the family is inside. Once the family is inside, Kick got out of his hiding place.

"Now it's time for some real fun," Kick said as he did his signature pose. "And this time, it won't be stunts all day."

As Kick was about to walk away from the pageant, he accidentally bumps into a grey-skinned woman who wore a stripper's clothing and a blonde wig. If he could see under the clothes, he would know that this woman is actually a space alien known as greys and is named Roger.

"Oh hey there good-looking." Roger spoke to Kick in a feminine voice. "What are you doing at this rubbish pageant when a cute guy like you could be at an awesome party downtown?"

"An awesome party eh?" Kick replied. "What's the catch?"

"There's no catch. It just so happens that today is Stan Smith's birthday and his party is one hell of a party. We've got beer, tobacco, drugs, video games and so much more! Wanna come?"

"I'm not sure about this. Do I have to be old enough to go to that kind of party?"

"It really doesn't matter how old you have to be."

"Sounds like you've got me convinced. I'm in."

"Well then let's go to my car and then, we take off!"

So Kick and Roger went to Roger's red car and drove off to downtown until the car was stopped in front of what seems to be a townhouse. As Kick and Roger walk inside, they saw a lot of adults and teenagers mingling, smoking and drinking. Although he hasn't been inside that long and that he was invited recently, Kick had already found himself uncomfortable. It seems that the party is more like the Griffins' party as most of the stuff that Kick saw are more suitable for the Griffins.

"Roger where have you been?" cried a feminine voice that Kick is unable to recognize.

As the voice grew closer, Kick saw an adult woman who had long blonde hair and wore a pink sleeveless dress. If he is to compare her to Lois, he'd say that this lady is way better than Lois.

"Pardon my French here, but we have a guest here." Roger told the woman. "Apparently he's young, but he's cute looking. Even cuter than Connie D'Amico."

"Oh I see. Where did you find him?"

"He was at this stupid pageant for spoiled little girls like Connie over there."

"Oh."

The woman then lends her hand to Kick as if she wants to greet him.

"By the way, my name's Francine." Francine told Kick. "And what's your name?"

"Clarence Buttowski." Kick replied. "But everybody calls me Kick."

"Oh, you're that Buttowski kid that my daughter Haley is talking about eh? Well it's an honour to meet you. I'll get Hayley."

As Francine leaves to get Hayley, Kick saw Connie D'Amico, Meg's worst enemy approaching him. She's a little drunk, but is more eager to see him.

"Hey there cutie," Connie said to Kick. "What's with you doing here when you could be at the junkyard with loser Meg?"

"Is that an insult?" Kick barked, not liking Connie so far.

"Maybe, maybe not. So do you wanna have fun with me?"

"I'd rather hang out with less popular kids than hang out with spoiled, rotten popular kids like you. I'd rather be a loser than being an ignorant popular kid."

"Fine. Be that way loser."

As Connie left, Francine returns with her daughter Hayley at her side.

"I see you've met Connie so far," Hayley told Kick in an annoyed tone. "And it looks like I arrived in time to hear you rant her off."

"Well Connie is such a bitch anyway," Kick replied.

"Yeah, Meg told me that. Anyway, my name's Hayley."

"The name's Kick. Kick Buttowski."

"Awesome name. So you do stunts?"

"Yeah. It's my passion."

"I do rebel things."

"My cousin also do rebel things. She's a hippie and a former biker."

"Nice. So what does she do? Protests or something?"

"Actually yeah, and sometimes, she smokes from her hookah and kills some people with her trustworthy gun."

"Wow. How old is she?"

"Twelve."

"So she's a kid?"

"Yeah."

"She's such a whore!" yelled Connie from across the room. "I can smoke better than your cousin anyway."

"…"

"I'm gonna get some fresh air and pick up a couple of guys and get Meg jealous."

And with that, Connie walks out of the house and into the outside world.

"Is there any Cheetah Chug in here?" Kick asked Hayley. "I could use a drink right now."

"There's some in the kitchen," Hayley replied. "But you'll have to be careful once the snooty housemaid gets inside the kitchen. She hates kids."

Kick nods as he sneaks inside the kitchen to get some Cheetah Chug. He's lucky that there's no one inside the kitchen. He looks around and when he opens the fridge, he saw six packs of Cheetah Chug. Dying from thirst already, Kick grabs a can and drinks it. But then, he heard footsteps. Fearing that it was the footsteps of the housemaid, Kick quickly finished drinking a can, threw it in the garbage and hid under a cloth table.

The kitchen doors flung open to reveal an ugly looking, housemaid who wore a maid's uniform. She is also followed by Francine.

"For the last time Mrs. Smith, your son is getting on my nerves!" yelled the snooty housemaid. "So far he had gotten himself 8 cans of Cheetah Chug and made a huge mess at the rooms that I spend all day cleaning it! You should've grounded him for life for all I know."

"Look Ms. Crappie," Francine said. "It was just an accident."

"An accident! Do you not open your eyes and see the devil inside him. That boy is a troublemaker!"

"Are you insulting my son? I do not appreciate it at all!"

"Well I'm sorry to say this but, you are an excuse of a mother!"

"Alright, you asked for it!"

Kick heard loud noises and saw what scared him. Then all of a sudden, Ms. Crappie land right by Kick's hiding place.

"That's gotta hurt." Kick whispered.

()()()()()

Several hours later, Francine is arrested for beating up Ms. Crappie. It had appeared that Connie heard the whole thing from the outside and presumes that Francine is the one that beats up Ms. Crappie.

"But this was a mistake!" Francine cried as she is hauled into a police car. "I didn't even hit her one bit!"

"Tell that to the judge!" said Officer Mac.

As the police hauled Francine away, Kick frowns. He knew in his guts that Francine didn't beat Ms. Crappie into a pulp.

()()()()()

At the Buttowski home, Honey is reading the newspaper when an article caught her eyes.

"Mmm," Honey said. "It says that Francine Smith, wife of Stan Smith of the CIA beat a housemaid named Ms. Crappie half to death! Some hot moms are so wild and seductive. I hope she finally gets what's coming to her."

"But she's innocent," Kick cried out, "Even more so than Lois Griffin."

"How do you know that Clarence?" Brianna asked. "There weren't any witnesses."

"Right."

"You think someone would have seen something at a crowded party like that?"

"Well … they didn't."

Kick is quick to run outside to do stunts but his conscience gets to him as he head to the Food N' Fix. Kendall notices this and approaches him.

"What's troubling you?" Kendall asked.

"I gotta tell someone," Kick said. "I was at the Smith's townhouse yesterday when that housemaid got whacked. I know that Francine is innocent."

"You're a witness? Kick, you have to tell the police."

"I … can't."

"Why?"

"If I did, my mom would know that I bailed out from seeing Brianna's pageant yesterday and I might get grounded … for life. That means no stunts, no adventures and no dates."

"I see. If you testify, your mom will know you skipped Brianna's pageant, although I don't really care about her pageants anyway."

"But what if I don't testify but still prove that Francine's innocent?"

"Well if Francine didn't do it, I'm sure she'll be found innocent by a fair and impartial jury."

"Would that work?"

"Well have to wait and see."

()()()()()

At the Mellowbrook Courthouse…

"Would the defendant Francine Smith please step forward?" Officer Mac said as Francine is hauled to the stand. "The Court is now in session."

Kick sits in the front row and is looking at the members of the jury. Honey is one of the members. He also saw Roger who is disguised as Francine's lawyer.

_I know you can read my thoughts. _Honey thought while looking at Kick. _If I find out that you bailed out from seeing your sister's pageant, you're grounded._

_I know you can read my thoughts kid. _Roger thought while looking at Kick. _Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow…_

"Your Honour, I intend to prove that Francine Smith is innocent." Roger said to the judge. "First of all, her accuser is a very bitchy character. That housemaid, Ms. Crappie, not only wasn't born in Mellowbrook, she wasn't even born in the USA!"

The jury gasped.

"From now on, you tell me everything!" Peter Griffin said to Ms. Crappie.

Wade is the first to testify for Francine.

"The blonde woman was at the Food N' Fix for the remainder of the day." Wade said. "She was looking for something for her husband's birthday."

"She's clearly innocent." Said one of the jury members.

Stan however gives Wade a big bag with "$" on it.

"Sweet. I may have to pay off my debt." Wade said happily.

"I don't get this?" Kick whispered to Kendall.

"The reason why Wade did that is because Stan Smith is buying his wife's freedom." Kendall replied.

"So the USA system works."

"Ladies and gentlemen," Peter spoke. "I'm going to prove that not only Francine Smith is guilty, but that she's also innocent of not being guilty. I refer you to my expert witness, Dr. Hartman."

"Well only one in 2 million people have what we call 'the evil gene'." Dr. Hartman said as he shows the court a DNA card. "Hitler has it. Seth MacFarlane has it and now Francine has it."

"Thank you Dr. Hartman. I rest my case."

"You rest your case?" the judge asked Peter.

"No, no. It's just a figure of speech. Case closed."

"Your Honour, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd still like to call Francine Smith to the stand." Roger said. "So that we all bask in her gentle decency."

Francine stands up and takes the stand.

"Francine," Roger spoke. "Did you assault Ms. Crappie?"

"No." Francine replied.

"Have you ever lost your temper over something as trivial as Ms. Crappie's insults on your children and that she said that you're an excuse of a mother?"

"AN EXCUSE OF A MOTHER!" Francine's anger rises. "I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! Especially those of you at the jury!"

"She's guilty," said one of the jury members.

"Well that didn't go well," Roger spoke again. "The defence rests."

"Will the jury retire and come to its decision?" the judge said.

"She's guilty," said every single member of the jury.

"That does it!" Kick said as he stands up. "This has gone far enough."

"What's with you Kick?" Kendall asked.

"I'm going to testify and clear Francine's name."

"But you'll be grounded if you do so."

"I'm done playing coward. It's time I do something right. Even if it means getting grounded."

()()()()()

Few hours later.

"Even though reopening a trial is pretty much illegal, I can't say no to kids." The judge said as Kick takes a stand.

"So young man," Roger spoke to Kick. "If Francine didn't inflict these injuries on Ms. Crappie, who did?"

"Well," Kick spoke. "I was in the kitchen when it all happened…"

"_For the last time Mrs. Smith, your son is getting on my nerves!" yelled Ms. Crappie. "So far he had gotten himself 8 cans of Cheetah Chug and made a huge mess at the rooms that I spend all day cleaning it! You should've grounded him for life for all I know."_

"_Look Ms. Crappie," Francine said. "It was just an accident."_

"_An accident! Do you not open your eyes and see the devil inside him. That boy is a troublemaker!"_

"_Are you insulting my son? I do not appreciate it at all!"_

"_Well I'm sorry to say this but, you are an excuse of a mother!"_

"_Alright, you asked for it!"_

_Francine grunts, pops the cork off from champagne and chugs it._

"_HA!" Ms. Crappie yelled._

_But as she walks closer to Francine, she slips on the floor, bangs her head on four frying pans, breaks glass, hand lands in blender, then a toaster, and then head falls in the oven as the boiling water is spilled on her back. She then falls into the broom closer where the rat traps snap closed all over her, causing her to break more glass and then all of a sudden, Ms. Crappie land right by Kick's hiding place._

"_That's gotta hurt." Kick whispered._

"And that's what really happened." Kick finished. "Ms. Crappie is a very clumsy person."

"This is an outrage!" Ms. Crappie yelled. "I am not clumsy!"

But she trips on chair and falls out of the window and into a truck filled with traps.

"How could you have seen all this?" Peter asked Kick. "Weren't you supposed to be at your sister's pageant like your mother asked you to?"

"I … bailed out from seeing the pageant." Kick replied as he then looks at his mom. "I'm sorry mom."

"He bailed out?" Honey said in shock.

"What are you so worried about Mrs. Buttowski?" Hayley said to Honey. "Kick confessed it."

"I know but … what am I going to do about this once he sees me?"

The judge then finds Francine innocent and dismisses the case. The Smiths hugged Francine and then hugged Kick for clearing Francine's name. When they leave, Honey approaches towards Kick who is obviously avoiding eye contact.

"You know about it didn't you?" Kick said to Honey. "You knew I bailed out from seeing Brianna's pageant."

"Kick, I'm impressed with what you did in there," Honey replied. "You testified for Francine. On the other hand, you didn't see Brianna's pageant."

"So I'm guessing I'm grounded, huh?"

"Now why would I want to ground my own son who cleared a woman's name? To be honest, I'm actually proud of you. If there's one thing I raised you to do in life, is by being honest."

"Thanks mom."

"Now what do you say we go do stunts?"

"I like that idea."

And so, Honey and Kick leave the courthouse and did some stunts together.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

A typical morning at the Buttowski house as it dons the "American Dad" theme.

_**Harold: **__Good Morning USA  
>I got a feeling that it's gonna be<br>A wonderful day  
>The sun in the sky has<br>A smile on its face  
>And it's shining a salute to<br>The American race…_

Harold gets inside Monique and drove off.

_**Harold: **__Oh boy it's well to say_

_**Roger (disguised as Kick Buttowski): **__Good Morning USA_

But this caused Harold to crash into a tree. He's lucky that he's alive.

_**Choir: **__ Good Morning USA_


	24. Kick's Almost Live Not Real Music Story

Cleo Carter is as usual reading history books at her backyard with her talking cat Luxor when all of a sudden, they heard noises. It sounded like beat-boxing.

"What's that noise?" Cleo asked as she follows the noise.

"It probably came from a distance," Luxor replied.

The noise eventually lead them to the home of the Magnusons (Annabelle's family). Maybe the noise came from the inside. Cleo and Luxor went inside and looked around until the last place they haven't checked yet was the basement. Just being inside a Viking's basement made Luxor shiver. But what Cleo and Luxor found in the basement is the origin of the noise.

There in front of them, they saw Annabelle beat-boxing behind a cardboard box in the shape of a television. They also saw Tut (now human) recording from a video camera.

"What are you guys doing?" Luxor asked Tut and Annabelle.

"Shh," Tut replied. "It's our new music show."

"I'm a video," Annabelle spoke before finishing her beat-boxing. "And I'm almost over."

"That was AnnaJem in _Valkyrie Rap._" Tut exclaimed. "Our next video..."

"Hold it!" Cleo interupted. "That wasn't a real music video. Annabelle was making noises with her mouth."

"Plus that wasn't a real TV," Luxor added. "And the video camera is not even on."

"That's Aunt Helga's old video camera," Annabelle replied. "It doesn't even work."

"So why are you guys doing this?" Cleo asked again.

"So?" Tut spoke. "Why shouldn't we?"

"Because it's not real."

"What's so great about being real?" Annabelle asked.

"You can like something, even though it's not real," Tut replied to Cleo and Luxor. "You guys should try it. Just close your eyes and you can see cool music videos."

"If this is a trick, I'm kicking your royal ass." Cleo remarked as she and Luxor close their eyes.

"No trick."

Tut and Annabelle then turn to the readers.

"Here they come folks," Tut said while breaking the fourth wall. "Our big music videos!"

_**Kick's Almost Live Not Real Music Story**_

We see Kick, Gunther, Johnny and Avery walking to the library with their library cards. A few seconds later, almost everyone in Mellowbrook joined in with their library cards.

_**Everyone: **__Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<em>

_**Librarian: **__Come on inside,  
>We've got everything you need.<br>There's plenty to do,  
>Or you can just sit and read.<em>

_**Avery: **__This book explains  
>How to make paper planes.<em>

_**Kick: **__This contour map  
>Can show you mountain range terrains.<em>

_**Claire: **__Fly to the moon,  
>Explore the ocean floor.<em>

_**Gunther: **__Find out which one's the tiller,  
>And which one is the oar.<em>

_**Kendall: **__Here's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"  
>And "Half Magic."<em>

_**Brianna: **__"Hop on Pop," "The Fox in Socks"_

_**Johnny: **__And books on doing card tricks!_

_**Everyone: **__Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>(__**Librarian: **__That's right!)  
>Having fun isn't hard,<br>When you've got a library card._

_**Annabelle: **__Books on baseball,  
>Hockey and soccer<em>

_**Harold: **__And even how to build yourself  
>A cool doorknocker.<em>

_**Kick: **__I could stay in this place  
>For hours and hours.<em>

_**Brad: **__I like books with pictures  
>Of lotsa pretty flowers...<em>

Everyone stares at Brad.

_**Brad: **__Being crushed by a giant pterodactyl._

_**Johnny: **__Jules Verne, HG Wells,  
>And Ray Bradbury:<em>

_**Avery: **__You can take 'em home  
>So you don't have to<br>Read 'em in a hurry._

_**Everyone: **__Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having fun..._

()()()()()

Claire is at the library checking out the book "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."

_**Claire: **__One day I went to __the library__,  
>I found this book, it was great!<br>It was so cool, I couldn't put down,  
>Even when it got pretty late!<em>

_That night I had a scary dream,  
>I mixed my own secret potion.<br>I added dirt, a bit of sludge, some eyes of flies  
>And a tiny dab of suntan lotion. <em>

_I started shaking, my legs were quaking,  
>My stomach aching, my brain was breaking!<em>

_I started turning green, feeling mean  
>It was like in the story,<br>I was acting strange, quite deranged,  
>It was pure allegory!<em>

_Allegory: a story where the characters stand for abstract ideas,  
>for example, good and evil.<em>

_Cuz I was:_

_Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Hyde, Jekyll.  
>Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde!<em>

_Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Hyde, Jekyll.  
>Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde!<em>

_When I awoke, I was me again.  
>I hid the book out of sight.<br>It was so cool I couldn't keep away,  
>So I took it out again that night.<em>

_And then I dreamed we had this test in Home Etc.  
>I got to say it was weird.<br>We had to give the answers in semaphore,  
>And for extra credit, grow a beard.<em>

_I couldn't take it, just couldn't take it  
>In one swift motion, I grabbed my potion! <em>

_I said, "Madame Hyde has arrived."  
>Tossed my flags on the floor.<br>Made a major speech, told __the teach__,  
>"This is all a big bore!"<em>

_Ran down all the halls, wrote on walls,  
>Even stole second base!<br>I was super bad, sure was glad,  
>I wasn't wearing my face.<br>Cuz I was:_

_Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Hyde, Jekyll.  
>Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde!<em>

_Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Hyde, Jekyll.  
>Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde!<em>

_This is too much, I simply had to stop!  
>I threw that potion away! (Potion away!)<br>But I didn't matter if I drank the stuff,  
>I just kept on changing anyway! (Changing anyway!)<em>

_Now I was:_

_Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Hyde, Jekyll.  
>Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde!<em>

_Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Hyde, Jekyll.  
>Jekyll, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde!<em>

_Just when it seemed, there was no way out,  
>I saw the book was overdue.<br>__The book lady__ said: "Are you returning?"  
>I thought and I said: "No."<em>

Claire then changes to Madame Hyde. Her skin is green. Her white jacket and helmet had become red. Her hair is now black and one of her eyes is closed.

"Renew!" Madame Hyde said as she laughs and disappears with the book.

()()()()()

"Girls! Johnny!" Hugh cried. "Dinner!"

_**Mary: **__Our Dad's a chef,  
>You think that's great?<br>Just try to guess  
>What's on your plate!<em>

_He mixes things,  
>And then he bakes,<br>Why can't he stick  
>To chocolate cakes?<em>

_**Johnny: **__I want some ice cream,  
>Chocolate would be good.<br>Ice cream that tastes...  
>just like it should!<em>

_No broccoli,  
>Turkey or a lima bean!<br>It's gots to taste like ice cream! _

_**Hugh: **__You have to try  
>My latest treat!<br>A jellied fish  
>Inside a beet<em>

_(__**Johnny: **__Yuck!)_

_Why should we eat  
>The same old meals?<br>Wait till you taste  
>My garlic eels!<em>

_There are so many things to make!  
>A custard soup, a liver cake<br>A curry pie, with prunes and squash!  
>How 'bout Leftovers Goulash?<br>Hey!_

_**Susan: **__Nothing rare,  
>And nothing soupy<br>Nothing slippery  
>And nothing gloopy!<em>

_Nothing mashed  
>And nothing steamed<br>And nothing runny, with eyes or feet or  
>that smells or wiggles when you touch<br>it or with crusts!  
>And nothing creamed!<em>

_**Johnny: **__This smells like fish!  
>I can't stand fish!<br>I can't believe this cookie smells like fish!_

_**Hugh: **__There are so many things to make!  
>(<em>_**Johnny: **__It tastes like fish! __**  
>Susan: <strong>__I want some ice cream!)  
>A custard soup, a liver cake.<br>(__**Susan: **__I can't stand fish!  
><em>_**Mary: **__I want some ice cream!)  
>A curry pie, with prunes and squash!<br>(__**Johnny: **__I can't believe this cookie smells!)  
>How 'bout Leftovers Goulash?<br>Hey!_

_Take a pot,  
>And add a lot,<br>Of codfish mash,  
>and kidney hash!<em>

_Let's add some snails  
>and catfish tails,<br>Some brains and feet,  
>Can't wait to eat!<em>

_A sloppy scoop,  
>Of runny gloop,<br>A squid on toast,  
>A rhubarb roast. <em>

_Some tofu stew,  
>With extra goo,<br>Leftover squash,  
>It's called goulash!<br>Hey!_

_**Johnny: **__We're not hungry anymore!_

_**All: **__Yuck!_

()()()()()

Queen Megan's coordination in Egypt.

_**Guards: **__Make way for Queen Megan  
>Say hey! It's Queen Megan<em>

_**Amuses: **__Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar  
>Hey you!<br>Let us through!  
>It's a bright new star!<br>Oh Come!  
>Be the first on your block to meet her eyes!<em>

_Make way!  
>Here she comes!<br>Ring bells! Bang the drums!  
>Oh! You gonna love this girl!<em>

_Quenn Megan!  
>Fabulous she!<br>Megan Griffin! _

_Genuflect, show some respect  
>Down on one knee!<br>Now, try your best to stay calm  
>Brush up your Sunday salaam<br>Then come and meet her spectacular coterie_

_Queen Megan!  
>Mighty is she!<br>Megan Griffin!_

_Strong as ten regular men, definitely!  
><em>_**Brian: **__She faced the galloping hordes  
><em>_**Chris: **__A hundred bad guys with swords  
><em>_**Stewie: **__Who sent those bitches to their lords?  
><em>_**Amuses: **__Why, Queen Megan!_

_**Servants: **__She's got seventy-five golden camels  
>(<em>_**Gunther: **__Don't they look lovely Jackie?)  
>Purple peacocks<br>she's got fifty-three  
><em>_**(Janet: **__Fabulous Johnny. I love the feathers)  
><em>_**Brian: **__When it comes to exotic-type mammals  
><em>_**Stewie: **__Has she got a zoo?  
><em>_**Chris: **__I'm telling you, it's a world-class menagerie_

_**Pyrota (who shows up unexpectedly): **__Queen Megan!  
>Gorgeous is she,<br>Megan Griffin! (__**Quagmire:**__ There's no question this Meg's alluring)  
>That physique! How can I speak (<em>_**Quagmire: **__Never ordinary, never boring)  
>Weak at the knee (<em>_**Quagmire: **__Everything about the girl just plain impresses)  
>Well, get on out in that square (<em>_**Quagmire: **__She's a winner; she's a whiz, a wonder!)  
>Adjust your veil and prepare (<em>_**Quagmire: **__She's about to pull my heart asunder!)  
>To gawk and grovel and stare at Queen Megan! (<em>_**Quagmire: **__And I absolutely love the way she dresses!)  
>(<em>_**Quagmire: **__Giggity-giggity-goo!)_

_**Crowd: **__She's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys  
>(<em>_**Chris, Brian and Stewie: **__She's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys)  
>And to view them she charges no fee<br>(__**Beggars:**__ She's generous, so generous)  
>She's got slaves, she's got servants and flunkies<br>(__**Servants: **__Proud to work for her)  
>They bow to her whim love serving her<br>They're just lousy with loyalty to Megan! Queen Megan!_

_**Amuses: **__Queen Megan!  
>Amorous she!<br>Megan Griffin_

_Heard the dream prince was a sight lovely to see  
>And that, good people, is why she got dolled up and dropped by<br>With sixty elephants, llamas galore  
>With her bears and lions<br>A brass band and more  
>With her forty fakirs, her cooks, her bakers<br>Her birds that warble on key  
>Make way for Queen Megan!<em>

()()()()()

A dark and stormy night in a faraway land where on top of the hill lies a spooky castle. There inside the castle lived a young wizard named Johnny.

_Behold the wizard._  
><em>Beware his powers.<em>  
><em>Unspeakable powers.<em>

_Under the gaze of the necromancer._  
><em>A silver staircase starts to rise.<em>  
><em>People stand on it and marvel at the power shooting from his eyes.<em>

_Cold food becomes hot again,_  
><em>When his spell unfolds<em>  
><em>With a mere wave of his hand, his hot dog will explode!<em>

_In the presence of the wizard,_  
><em>Traffic will stop at his will.<em>  
><em>He can cross the street, no problem, as the cars bow down in front of him.<em>

_Channels on the TV change._  
><em>He's still in his chair.<em>  
><em>Then he pulls his magic wand, and reclines in the air.<em>

_**Johnny: **__By the dim light of the dream realm's black sun,  
>The Wizard climbs the frozen waterfall of Voldrini in search of Celestia, the guardian of infinite power.<em>

_When suddenly a terrible Garlon appears and attacks with ice, but the Wizard is undeterred._  
><em>The Garlon roars and unleashes the most sinister wind, but the wizard is undeterred.<em>  
><em>The Garlon summons the stones of Prophynia, but the wizard is undeterred.<em>

_Calling upon the powers of the ancient, the wizard conjures a sacred fire and casts his foe into the molten maw of an insatiable Gort. _

_Thanks, Gort._

Celestia's slumber ends and is awaken to find Johnny standing in front of her.

_**Johnny: **__Ahh, Celestia. I think you're going to enjoy this._  
><em>The Wizard stands on the precipice of ultimate power<em>  
><em>The gates open to reveal...<em>

But what Johnny saw is Kick looking at him as if he was a bit angry.

"Uhh ... how long was I asleep?" Johnny asked.

"Three days." Kick replied. "You have a bed y'know."

"I'm starving. I gotta get something to eat."

_Famished from his latest quest, the wizard seeks a snack._  
><em>He sets sail for ecstasy at the Quesadilla Shack.<em>  
><em>He is the wizard!<em>

_The mystical wizard!_

()()()()()

_**Everyone: **__Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<em>

_**Meg: **__Paintings by Leonardo, Rembrandt  
>And Picasso<em>

_**Principal Henry: **__Confidentially, I'm reading  
>"Go, Dog, Go."<em>

_**Gunther: **__There's "The Giving Tree" and "Jumanji"  
>And "Where the Wild Things Are."<em>

_**Susan and Mary: **__And a book on why you shouldn't  
>Keep your brother in a jar.<em>

_**Kick: **__All the thoughts and dreams of people  
>Throughout history<br>And all you need's this little card  
>To borrow 'em for free!<em>

_**Everyone: **__Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<em>

_**Cleo: **__There's story time  
>And lessons on how to use computers,<em>

_**Luxor: **__But there can't be any classes  
>On how to make me cuter.<em>

_**Avery: **__Puppet shows and movies,  
>The cool things never end.<em>

_**Helga: **__And don't forget,  
>The Dewey Decimal System is your friend.<em>

_**Cleo: **__Who's Dewey?_

_**Everyone: **__And don't forget,  
>The Dewey Decimal System is your friend.<em>

_**Cleo: **__Who's Dewey?_

_**Everyone: **__One, two, three!_

_Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>__**(Cleo: **__Who's Dewey?)_

_Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>__**(Cleo: **__Who's Dewey?)_

_Having fun isn't hard,  
>When you've got a library card.<br>Having Fun..._

_**Cleo: **__Who's Dewey?_

()()()()()

"TA-DA!" Tut and Annabelle cried from behind the cardboard box.

"So what do you guys think?" Tut asked Cleo and Luxor.

"Pretty good for just two kids behind a cardboard TV?" Annabelle asked.

"It was okay for the basement," Luxor replied.

"But I don't think it'll work on real TV." Cleo added as Annabelle rolls down a curtain that said _The End _on it.

"By the way," Luxor asked. "Who's Dewey?"


	25. Buttowski of Seville

_**Buttowski of Seville**_

_**Summary: **__Mr. Seville, the proud owner of Seville's Barber Palace ends up getting send to the hospital after getting abused by Peter Griffin, thus forcing Kick to take over the shop until Mr. Seville can recover._

It was a typical day in Mellowbrook as the Buttowskis go downtown to go to their respective hair appointments. Honey and Brianna are going to the salon to try out different hairstyles while Brad, Harold and Kick are left to go to the barber shop for a haircut. The barber shop is considered every male's worst nightmare. Whenever a man asked the barber to just cut a little bit off the top, he (ironically) ended up getting bald. Plus the tools that are required to shave off a mustache or hair are very sharp and dangerous. It's like Sweeney Todd all over again.

"But I don't want to get a haircut!" Brad whined as he, Harold and Kick enter Seville's Barber Palace, one of the most popular barber shops in Mellowbrook.

"Now Brad, you need a haircut," Harold replied. "Your hair is getting messier and longer. It's bad for the scalp in your head."

Brad, Harold and Kick each took their respective seats and while they wait, they saw a round shaped, overweight man with a large white mustache and beard. He's short and he seems jolly.

"Boys," Harold spoke. "This is Mr. Seville, the owner of this place."

_**Mr. Seville: **__How do? _

_Welcome to my shop,  
>Let me cut your mop,<br>Let me shave your crop  
>Daintily, daintily <em>

Mr. Seville began to ran towards Brad who is getting a little nervous.

_**Mr. Seville: **__Hey you! _

_Don't look so perplexed,  
>Why must you be vexed,<br>Can't you see you're next  
>Yes you're next, you're so next <em>

_How about a nice close shave  
>Teach your whiskers to behave<br>Lots of lather lots of soap  
>Please hold still don't be a dope <em>

_Now we're ready for the scraping  
>There's no use to try escaping<br>Yell & scream & rant & rave  
>It's no use you need a shave <em>

"AHHH!" Brad screames as Mr. Seville proceeds to give Brad a haircut with the occasional use of shaving. " THE SHAVING CREAM! IT BURNS!"

_**Mr. Seville: **__There, you're nice and clean _

_**Kick: **__Although Brad's face looks like it might have gone through a machine_

"Zip it dillweed!" Brad shouted. "Your next on this one! Yeah Brad!"

"Don't you worry Kick," Mr. Seville said as he approaches Kick. "Yours will not be as painful as your brother's. First, remove the helmet."

Kick nods as he takes off his helmet to reveal messy brown hair which apparently have grown longer.

"Oy! Your hair have grown ze little longer." Mr. Seville replied as he took out a pair of scissors. "Which means that I will cut ze little bit off from ze top."

"Am I going to end up being bald?" Kick asked.

"Only if you are ze customer of ze local barber shop from Quahog, my friend. Barbers in Quahog are lousy and misunderstood. Whenever ze customer request to have ze little bit of his hair cut off, he will most likely ended up being bald. That is why in here, you won't suffer ze same fate like ze others."

Mr. Seville then proceed to cut little bits of hair off from Kick. Kick suffers less harm than Brad did.

"So what do you think Kick?" Mr. Seville asked Kick whose hair is now a little shorter, but retains its messy state.

"It's still as awesome as ever," Kick replied. "There's no better barber than you."

"Why thank you Kick. You are forever ze honest one."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Honey and Brianna are enjoying themselves as the workers of the salon don various hairstyles for them. But they didn't notice that a certain pevert from Quahog have joined in the party. It is no other than Quagmire and along with him is Peter Griffin.

"Ahh the hair salon." Quagmire said joyfully. "A woman's paradise."

"They'rer so full of hot babes." Peter said gleefully.

Quagmire's eyes then caught sight of Honey, Brianna and all the female workers at the salon.

"And it looks like I've hit the jackpot! Giggity, giggity goo!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" yelled a certain female voice.

_Please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her. _Peter thought.

But when Quagmire and Peter saw the female who yelled at them, it was no other than Avery Buttowski.

"Are you some sort of Peeping Toms?" Avery yelled. "Didn't you read the sign?"

"What sign Buttowski?" Quagmire asked innocently.

"Don't play dumb with me wiseguy."

Avery shows Quagmire and Peter the sigh which reads.

_**"Under any circumstances, do NOT let Glen Quagmire of Quahog, Rhode Island enter this hair salon EVER! If he manages to get inside the salon, do NOT contact the police. Contact the FBI at once!"**_

"Well at least I can get in anytime I want." Peter said stupidly.

"Not exactly fatass!" Avery barked again. "Read the sign again."

Peter looked at the sign again and was horrified to read it.

_**"If necessary, do NOT let Peter Griffin of Quahog, Rhode Island enter this hair salon. If he gets inside, contact the FBI immediately."**_

"No fair!" Peter whined like a spoiled brat as he and Quagmire leave the salon. "I hate you! I hate you!"

"Don't cry Peter," Quagmire said as he and Peter spotted Seville's Barber Palace. "I bet there are babes there instead. Oh yeah!"

But as Quagmire and Peter enter Seville's Barber Palace, all they saw were the Buttowski men and Mr. Seville.

"Now this looks like a paradise for ugly people," Peter mocked which caught the attention of both the Buttowski men and Mr. Seville.

"Quahog citizens!" Mr. Seville yelled after taking a good look at Peter and Quagmire.

"And well, well, well if it isn't the ugliest man in the world, Mr. Seville," Peter mocked again as he continues to mock Mr. Seville by using a British accent. "How say that you have a great career when you're fat and ugly and everybody hates you hmm?"

"Sacre bleu! You dare to insult me, the proud owner of Seville's Barber Palace?"

"Well at least you can say that. Why don't you do this world a favor and drop dead already?"

"Why don't _you _drop dead fatass!" Brad yelled at Peter. "Yeah Brad!"

"Shut up Brad!" Peter replied to Brad.

"HEY!" Kick yelled at Peter as well as he kicks Peter in the knee. "No one talks to my brother like that you big fatass!"

"Why don't you shut up and drop dead you ugly midget!" Peter yelled at Kick as he punched Kick in the face. "Seriously, you're way uglier than Meg."

"Don't you dare talk to my sons like that you horrible excuse of a father!" Harold yelled as well.

"What are you going to do about it stick man?" Peter mocked Harold. "If we're going to fight, I'd win easily since I'll squash you like a bug."

"Don't you dare talk to my customers like that you big, fat retard!" Mr. Seville yelled at Peter once more. "I will have you banned from my shop, even if it would cost me my life!"

"Your life eh?" Peter spoke again as he pumps his fatty hands. "Well here's a little something for you."

Peter then punchs Mr. Seville in the face and then, he kept on punching him several times until Mr. Seville is out cold.

"Now you're dead." Peter laugh as he and Quagmire left the shop.

()()()()()

At Mellowbrook Hospital, Kick Brad and Harold are in Mr. Seville's room where Mr. Seville is covered in bandages from all the bruises that he recieved from Peter.

"I'm afraid I can't continue business as long as I am wrapped up like a mummy," Mr. Seville spoke weakly. "So I'd only ask once for someone to take over my business until I am back on my feet again."

"My sons are too young," Harold spoke. "I'll take over."

"That is wise, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline your decision. I need someone who is fast and keeps the customers from growing impatient. Someone who is always active and quick on his feet."

Harold, Kick and Brad shared confused looks. Who is Mr. Seville referring to anyway?

"Kick Buttowski," Mr. Seville spoke again. "Will you take over my business until I'm recovered?"

"It may be a lot of work, and the fact that I'm only 13," Kick spoke before giving his signature pose. "But after what the fatass did to you, I won't let him get away with that. I'll do it, for your sake."

()()()()()

Gunther is happily strolling down the sidewalk when he decided to take a rest in front of Mr. Seville's Barber Palace. But he didn't know that inside the shop, Kick is at work and is working on a customer's hair.

"I did not see that coming," Gunther said as he steps inside the barber shop.

Kick was finishing up the customer's hair when Gunther dropped by.

"Kick," Gunther spoke.

"Hey Gunther," Kick replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm the substitute barber, until Mr. Seville gets out of the hospital." Kick then turns to his customer. "So what do you think sir?"

"Excellent work my boy." the customer replied happily. "I do wish for Mr. Seville to get well soon though. How much do I pay you?"

"That'll be one dollar sir."

"Cheap but wise."

The customer gives Kick a dollar and then walks out of the shop. Gunther is surprised at this, but he'll have to admit that Kick really knows what he's doing.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, outside of Mr. Seville's Barber Palace, Peter is forced to go into the barber shop by Brian the dog.

"But I don't want to get a haircut Brian," Peter whined. "Make Chris get a haircut."

"Peter you need to get a haircut." Brian spoke firmly. "We don't want Lois to think that you're a total slob when we go and visit her in prison."

"Why is Lois in prison?"

"Didn't you read _**Chapter 15: Billy Gets Busted? **_What she had done in that chapter is the reason why she's in prison."

"Oh."

"Now quit being a baby and get a haircut. You're getting on my nerves."

"I hate you. I hate you even more than I hate Meg for being so ugly."

Peter then went inside Mr. Seville's Barber Palace to get a haircut. But as he walks inside, he didn't expect Kick to be the barber for the day. Kick didn't expect Peter to be his customer and boy he is less than happy to serve that arrogant bastard.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the ugly midget again?" Peter mocked Kick.

"What kind of hairdo would you want sir?" Kick asked in an angry tone. "A little off the top?"

"I want you to give me your best shot." Peter demanded. "Something that is good-looking and popular in society. I don't want those ugly hairdos that ugly people have. I want to look handsome, not ugly like Meg."

"So you want a popular hairdo?"

"Yes."

"Sir this is a barber shop, not a hair salon. If you want to get a popular hairdo, I'd suggest you go to a hair salon."

"But they won't let me. So _give _me THE HAIRDO!" Peter yelled like a spoiled brat.

"Whatever you say sir."

"But remove the helmet first." Peter demanded.

"Your helmet or mine?" Kick asked.

"Mine. And get going!"

Kick sighed as he took Peter's helmet off to reveal messy, disgusting hair, covered with white stuff. It makes Kick want to vomit in a bathroom sink.

"And make sure you get my hair cleaned." Peter demanded again. "I don't want people to think that I'm the new Meg."

Kick couldn't help but to growl as he prepares to wash Peter's hair. A dozen trips to the bathroom sink later, Kick managed to get Peter's hair cleaned. But before he could give Peter a haircut, Peter is again acting like a spoiled brat.

"I want a lollipop!" Peter yelled childlishly.

"We don't sell lollipops here." Kick replied. "There are rules in this place."

"Then get me one right now!"

Kick sighed as he went out to get a lollipop for the fat bastard. But by the time he returned, Peter is still being demanding.

"Dance for me!" Peter demanded again as he gives Kick an Arabian dancer's outfit. "And wear this to amuse me."

"Is that really necessary?" Kick asked.

"To me, yes. NOW DANCE!"

Kick had no choice but to put on the harem outfit and dance for Peter. It was embarrasing. Peter giggles as Kick continues to dance, but when the dance is over and when Kick went back to wearing his regular jumpsuit, Kick now prepares to give Peter the haircut that he'll never forget.

"Now it's time to give you the haircut you'll never forget." Kick said as he proceeds to lather Peter's face, chin, mouth and ocassionally the shoes. This was at one point Peter starts to get scared.

_**(A/N: to find that kind of song, look up "Woody Woodpecker Barber of Seville" on Youtube.)**_

_**Kick: **__Largo al factotum della citta, largo!  
>La la la la la la la la la, LA!<br>Prestp a bottega chele l'alba e gia, presto  
>La la la la la la la la la, LA<em>

_Fortunatissimo per verita!  
>Fortunatissimo per verita!<br>La la la la la la la la la  
>la la la la la la la la la!<em>

Peter is a bit angry at Kick's work but soon gets a little terrified when Kick pulls out a sharp razor.

_**Kick: **__Pronto a far tutto  
>la notte e il giorn<br>sempre d'intorno in giro sta  
>Miglior cuccagna per un barbiere,<br>vita piu nobile, no, non si da._

_La la la la la la la la la  
>la la la la la la la la la!<em>

"Hey!" Peter cried. "Take it easy."

_**Kick: **__Rasori e pettini  
>lancette e forbici,<br>al mio comando  
>tutto qui sta.<br>Rasori e pettini  
>lancette e forbici,<br>al mio comando  
>tutto qui sta.<em>

Then Peter starts getting more afraid as Kick then proceeds to shave him, with a sharp razor.

_**Kick: **__V'è la risorsa  
>poi, de mestiere<br>Colla donnetta  
>Col cavaliere<em>

_Colla donnetta,  
>la la hmm hmm hmm la la la<br>Col cavaliere_ _La la la la  
>la la LA<em>

Peter is now scared as he tries to run away from Kick who is now acting like Sweeney Todd.

_**Kick: **__Tutti mi chiedono, tutti mi vogliono  
>donne, ragazzi, vechhi, fanciulle:<em>

_Qua la parrucca... presto la barba...  
>Qua la sanguigna...<br>Presto il biglietto..._

_Tutti mi chiedono  
>tutti mi vogliono<br>Tutti mi chiedono  
>tutti mi vogliono<em>

_Qua la parrucca... presto la barba...  
>Presto il biglietto ehi!<em>

_Figaro! Figaro!  
>Figaro! Figaro!<br>Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!  
>FIGARO!<em>

"Coming mother." Peter replied while in disguised, but Kick managed to find him and proceeded on giving him the treatment.

_**Kick: **__Figaro qua, Figaro là,  
>Figaro su, Figaro giù,<em>  
><em>Figaro qua, Figaro là,<br>Figaro su, Figaro giù,_

_Pronto prontissimo son come il fulmine:  
>sono il factotum della città<br>Ah, bravo Figaro! Bravo, bravissimo;  
>a te fortuna non mancherà<em>

_Ah, bravo Figaro! Bravo, bravissimo;  
>a te fortuna non mancherà<br>Sono il factotum della città  
>Sono il factotum della citta<em>

_Ha-ha-ha-HAA-ha!  
>Ha-ha-ha-HAA-ha!<br>Ha-ha-ha-HAA-ha!  
>Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!<em>

Peter couldn't take it anymore that he ran out of Mr. Seville's Barber Palace as fast as he can and screamed like a little baby as he ran from the shop. Kendall is one of the first few outsiders to notice Peter's behavior.

"Stay away from that place!" Peter tried to warn Kendall. "Your boyfriend's crazy! He tried to kill me with that sharp tool he used for shaving! He tried to _kill _me I tell ya! Dump him now while you have the chance! Save yourself!"

All Kendall did was give Peter a confused look as Peter continues running away from the barber shop. She took one good look at the barber shop and was a bit surprised that Peter's story was a little true. Kick _did _try to kill Peter though, according to the mess he and Peter did, but maybe for a reason that Peter did started ticked Kick off by being a spoiled brat and that he did send Mr. Seville to the hospital for defending his customers. But whose side is Kendall on anyway? Although Kick may be wrong for trying to kill Peter, but Peter himself is actually quite wrong as well as he did ticked Kick off and abused Mr. Seville. In other words, Peter lost the battle and Kick won.

Kendall took another look at Kick and was a bit surprised that Kick isn't ashamed of either the mess he made in the shop or the fact that he got his exact revenge on Peter. It turns out that Kick is confident as he takes a bite out of a random carrot and said something that Kendall had not heard before.

"Eh, next!"

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Brian is reading the newspaper back in Quahog when a scared Peter ran inside the house.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Brian asked Peter. "You're acting like a five-year old."

"The barber shop is EVIL!" Peter cried. "Kick tried to _kill _me!"

"You and your childish fairy-tales. Lois would love to heard all about it when we go visit her in prison."

"Do you think that she'll believe me?"

"Only a fool would believe in fairy-tales."

"I believe in fairy-tales!" Chris Griffin shouted.

Brian sighed in defeat.

"Both of you go upstairs and get ready." Brian said . "We'll be leaving to go visit Lois in prison in a few hours. And don't forget to get Stewie ready as well."


	26. The Sleeping Daredevil

_**The Sleeping Daredevil**_

_**Summary: **__Wacko escapes from prison to get his revenge on Johnny by shooting a special arrow on him which would put its victim into eternal sleep, but it backfires when Kick gets caught instead of Johnny. But the only way to break the spell now is…true love's kiss._

Prison. The only place in the world where bad guys are put to justice, whether it's temporary or permanent. Life in there is tough and terrible. You don't get the good stuff from the other side of the law, you get the bad stuff. Some prisoners get used to it. Others just can't stand the poor conditions.

And on this very day in prison, one prisoner can't stand the poor conditions any longer. He wants out. Now.

"I hate this place!" Wacko yelled as he lies on his bed in his cell. "The food is horrible, the place is horrible, and everything in this place is horrible!"

"Why don't you shut your trap and have some quality time with me handsome?" Lois said to wacko from her own cell.

"Mrs. Griffin. Do you realize that you're married? To a fat, disgusting pig?"

"Oh don't play serious. I'm attracted to lots of men. Married or not."

"Hmm. Say Mrs. Griffin. How did you get in here in the first place?"

"Well let's see now. I'm here because I faked my murder and put the blame on Billy Stumps, Mellowbrook's famous daredevil. I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for Avery Buttowski, her cousin Kick, and her friend Johnny Test."

"Did you say Johnny Test?"

"Yeah why?"

"I'm here because of him as well."

"Then it looks like we have a lot in common my good man."

"Tell you what. If you help me escape from this joint, I'll help you get your revenge on Avery once and for all."

"Sound like a sweet deal. I'm in."

()()()()()

Few minutes before the lights go out in prison, Wacko and Lois hatched a plan to escape. At midnight, Lois distracts the police as Wacko gets out of prison. He and Lois were about to escape when all of a sudden, policemen chased after them. They came across a small hole and Wacko got inside quickly.

"Give me your hand Lois!" Wacko yelled at Lois. "We can escape from this place!"

"I can't," Lois replied. "This is your moment now. You use it wisely."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine. Besides, this is your story and you need to escape to finish the story."

Wacko nods as he escapes while Lois stayed behind to face the wrath of the police. Wacko was saddened that Lois stayed behind, but he kept his self-confidence.

"You better watch out Johnny Test." Wacko said to the dark sky. "Wacko's back! MWA HA HA HA HA!"

()()()()()

"This is boring," Brain Freezer whined as he and the other villains (Mr. Mittens, Albert and Zizrar) sat in their chairs at their respective HQ.

"Without Wacko in charge, we've got nothing." Mr. Mittens replied.

"If only he was here right now." Zizrar said.

As soon as he said those words, Wacko made an entrance which surprised the other villains.

"I'm back!" Wacko yelled.

"Finally." Mr. Mittens whined. "It's been forever."

"Now that I'm here once more, the _**Johnny Stopping Evil Force 5 **_is back in business!"

"So what's the plan this time?" Brain Freezer asked. "You're going to kidnap the kids and trap them in some sort of video-game?"

"Or put them to slavery and have them shipped off to Egypt where they'll be stranded there forever?" Mr. Mittens suggested.

"Or get Peter Griffin the fatass to fart on Johnny's face and then tell Avery a few sick jokes that would dearly please Lois?" Zizrar suggested as well.

"No, no and no," Wacko answered "I have a much more sinister plan in stored _just _for Johnny."

Wacko pulls out a black and purple arrow.

"What's with the arrow?" Brain Freezer spoke nervously. "Are you going to kill Johnny with that?"

"Now why would I do that?" Wacko replied. "I'm not going to _kill _Johnny. I'm going to put him to sleep. _Eternal _sleep that is."

"I don't get it." Zizrar spoke.

"Let me explain." Wacko said. "I created this arrow to not kill its victim but to render its victim into eternal sleep."

"That sounds like a great way to get revenge on Johnny." Mr. Mittens replied.

"Master Wacko." Albert spoke. "May I ask you this?"

"Yes." Wacko replied.

"If Johnny's friends are to know about this and would try to wake him up, what would be the cure of this, not like we really want to make a cure for it if necessary?"

"Excellent question. If Johnny's friends _ever _dare to stand in my way, even after Johnny is put into eternal sleep, the only way to wake him up is ... _true love's kiss!_"

"True love's kiss?" Mr. Mittens spoke in annoyance. "Really?"

"Well yeah, since Johnny doesn't believe in love, I figured that true love's kiss would be the perfect cure. Besides, there really isn't a girl that would be his lover."

"You do realize that it's Avery who is Johnny's girl." Brain Freezer replied.

Everyone stares at him.

"Why are you guys staring at me?"

But no answer.

"If you don't believe me, ask Brad."

Silence.

"Or Quagmire."

"Giggity!" Quagmire cried from nowhere.

"Get the hell out of here!" Mr. Mittens yelled at Quagmire.

"Aww."

Quagmrie left.

"Now enough with this chit-chat boys," Wacko said once more. "Let's find Johnny."

()()()()()

Johnny, Kick, Avery and Gunther are out buying ice-cream one Saturday afternoon. All they've done so far were prank calls, arcade games and stunts.

"So what do you guys want to do now?" Gunther asked Johnny, Kick and Avery.

"More prank calls?" Johnny suggested.

"We better leave Bling-Bling Boy alone for a while," Kick replied. "He's been getting really upset in the last few hours."

"I guess you're right. How about we do a stunt at Devil's Grave?"

"Been there, done that."

The group head to their respective hangout to figure out what to do next, but they didn't notice that a certain someone is following them.

()()()()()

In prison Peter, Brian, Stewie and Chris are visiting Lois when all of a sudden; they've got words with the warden.

"What's the problem this time?" Brian asked the warden.

"Lois tried to escape last night and we had to put her back in her cell." The warden replied. "It seems that she is kinda involved during the escape of Wacko."

"Yeah well women these days are stupid." Peter remarked. "All they can think of are the dangers and the life in the fast lane and being dumb bitches."

"Can we still see her?" Chris asked.

"I think so." The warden replied. "If she behaves."

"And if not, then we'll make that red-haired bitch behave." Stewie remarked.

The warden orders the police to escort the Griffin men to Lois' cell where they saw Lois sitting quietly on her bunk.

"Lois," Peter spoke which caught Lois' attention. "We're here."

"Peter." Lois cried as she ran up to him and gave him a kiss. "What are you and the kids doing here?"

"Why we're here to visit you. We were so lonely without you."

"I know. I'm just glad I get to see my family again."

"Uh Lois," Brian spoke. "We forgot about Meg."

"Ah who needs her anyway," Peter remarked, acting like he doesn't care. "No one wants her anyway. She's fat. She's ugly. She's whinny and she's a loser. Who the hell would miss Meg anyway? I'm glad she's out of our lives."

"Peter," Brian spoke to Peter. "Isn't there something you'd like to tell Lois?"

"No."

"Wouldn't you like to tell Lois about your trip to the barber shop or something?"

"The barber shop?" Lois asked who then faced Peter with a serious look. "What happened this time?"

"Lois," Peter spoke nervously. "The barber shop is evil. Kick Buttowski tried to kill me."

"Am I supposed to believe that? Kick is 13 years old and you think that a 13 year old barber is going to kill a grown man like you?"

"It's true Lois. I saw it with my own eyes."

"He's been watching too many cartoons again." Brian replied.

"I watch a lot of cartoons!" Chris cried happily. "I even watched My Little Pony, Problem Solverz and other cartoons."

"Oh great," Stewie said in disgust. "A 14 year old that acts like a 2 year old. How marvelous."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Kick, Avery, Johnny and Gunther are still bored until all of a sudden, Wacky Jackie appeared out of nowhere and stood in front of Kick with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh Kick." Jackie spoke gleefully. "I hope you're not forgetting something important today."

"What's important today?" Kick asked.

"Don't be silly. Today's the sock hop dance at our school."

"The sock hop dance!" All cried. They seemed to forget all about the sock hop dance at their school which is taking place today at 8pm.

"Oh so you do remember the sock hop dance." Jackie said to Kick once more. "Will you take me to the sock hop dance tonight? I've got my lucky socks cleaned this morning."

"Sorry," Kick replied calmly. "But I'm taking Kendall."

"You're taking Kendall?" Jackie's eyes grew wide as she is green with envy. "Why her? Why not me?"

"I'll take you to the sock hop dance if you want." Gunther said to Jackie, hoping it would win her affection.

"Some help you are," Jackie replied to Gunther.

"Speaking of the sock hop dance," Avery said as she looks at her watch. "We better get ready."

Everyone agrees as they leave their hangout to get ready for the dance.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, the Johnny Stopping Evil Force 5 searched far and wide for Johnny. Just when all hopes is lost for them; there they saw Johnny, Kick and Gunther walking in the cul-de-sac. It seems that Avery and Jackie are already home, getting ready for the sock hop dance.

"There he is men," Wacko whispered to Zizrar, Mr. Mittens, Albert and Brain Freezer as they hid behind the bushes. "There's Johnny. And his friends, the daredevil and the chubby Viking."

Wacko then looked at Brain Freezer who is holding a crossbow with a black and purple arrow geared up.

"Get ready to fire at will Brain Freezer," Wacko instructed Brain Freezer. "It must be a good shot."

Brain Freezer nodded as he aims the arrow at Johnny. The shot must be perfect. He got a good aim and...

...he shoots.

The arrow went at rapid speed towards Johnny whose back was turned. Although Johnny didn't know it at first since he's not much of a defensive kid, Kick was however on high alert as he could feel the arrow's vibes. It was heading straight to Johnny and Johnny himself isn't aware of the situation he is in right now. There is no way that arrow is going to hit Johnny. Being as selfless as he is Kick pushes Johnny aside from the arrow's way and Gunther, who is now aware of this situation, saw the whole thing.

Kick saved Johnny's life, but he didn't save his own. The arrow hits Kick's chest real hard. He cried in pain as he collapsed and lost consciousness.

In the bushes, the Johnny Stopping Evil Force 5 saw the whole thing and boy, was Wacko burning red. He had worked so hard to get his revenge on Johnny but in the end, Kick got in the way by saving Johnny's life. But unfortunately, it cost him his own life.

"You're such a lousy shooter!" Wacko yelled at Brain Freezer. "You've shot the wrong kid!"

"Sorry," Brain Freezer replied. "But Kick pushed Johnny out of the way."

"That was the only arrow I made, just for Johnny and now, my plan to get revenge on Johnny is ruined. I just hope Kick makes it through eternal sleep."

"What makes you say that?" Mr. Mittens asked Wacko, looking rather suspicious.

"Well I guess I failed to tell you guys something important about that arrow," Wacko replied. "Remember when I said that I created that arrow to not kill its victim but to render its victim into eternal sleep?"

"Yes."

"I lied. I actually did create that to kill its victim."

"Is Kick dead already?"

"No. He's at the eternal sleep stage. What time is it?"

"Quarter to six." Brain Freezer replied. "Why?"

"He'll be in the eternal sleep stage until the stroke of midnight." Wacko told Brain Freezer. "Then when midnight comes, he'll be a dead daredevil."

"Don't you think that's murder Master Wacko?" Albert asked Wacko.

"Maybe, but I did mentioned a cure for this, but it'll only work before midnight. It's true love's kiss that can save Kick's life."

"Ah. Now we know." Mr. Mittens said.

"Let's bolt before Johnny sees us." Wacko warned the others.

The Johnny Stopping Evil Force 5 retreat back to their headquarters. Meanwhile Johnny and Gunther circled around Kick's lifeless body with grief in their eyes.

"If Kick hasn't pushed me out of the way, I'd been dead," Johnny cried. "A dead flame-headed kid by the way."

"Wait a minute," Gunther said as he checked Kick's pulse. "He's still alive. But I don't think he'll wake up anytime now."

Gunther watched as Johnny jerks the black and violet arrow off from Kick's chest.

"We better head to my cousin's lab and have January do some research on this arrow." Johnny told Gunther. "If that arrow didn't kill Kick, then what did it do to him instead?"

"Render him unconscious I think." Gunther replied. "That arrow's shot was just a few inches closer to Kick's heart. If it was shot directly at his heart, he would've been a dead daredevil."

"Just grab his body and follow me to the lab. We have to get to the bottom of this and more important, who would do such a thing like that."

Gunther nodded as he followed Johnny to the mansion while carrying an unconscious Kick. As they get to the mansion, they saw smoke coming out from the lab. When the smoke cleared, they saw Susan making another love potion.

"Didn't January tell you not to make love potions?" Johnny asked Susan.

"I couldn't help it Johnny," Susan replied. "I've got to get Gil to love me!"

"If January sees all of this, I don't know what she'll do to you, but to me, I'll just sit down and watch the whole thing."

"What are you doing here and why are you carrying Kick's body?" Susan asked. "Is he dead?"

"No he's unconscious after he got hit by that black and violet arrow that came out of nowhere." Johnny replied. "Since you're already in the lab, help us out on how to wake Kick up."

"Why should I?"

"If you don't, I'll tell January about that love potion you made today."

Susan sighed as she takes the arrow off of Johnny's hand and placed Kick's body on a metal table so that she can analyze what's happening to Kick after the arrow had hit him. What Susan found was interesting, yet very dark and twisted.

"So what information did you find?" Gunther asked Susan.

"It turns out that Kick is in eternal sleep." Susan replied. "He may never wake up again. But it also turns out that the arrow had some sort of chemical formula inside that made Kick unconscious and fall asleep when it hit him."

"Did you find out who the shooter was?" Johnny asked.

"There's a crown on the arrow with a W on it. I'll give you three guesses."

"Wacko." Johnny hissed. "So he's the one behind all this."

"But I don't get it," Gunther said. "The last time we saw him, he was in jail."

"Well now it looks like that he escaped," Johnny replied. "And I think I know where he is right now."

()()()()()

Back at their HQ, the Johnny Stopping Evil Force 5 are thinking about Kick's sudden fate when Johnny X burst in.

"Wacko!" Johnny X cried as he tackles Wacko. "I should've known you were behind Kick's sudden fate!"

"It's not what it looks like Johnny." Wacko tried to speak. "That arrow was meant to get you, not Kick."

Johnny gets mad after hearing what Wacko had told him. He pinned Wacko to the wall angrily.

"YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!?" Johnny yelled at Wacko. "AFTER ALL THIS TIME, YOU WENT BACK INTO TRYING TO KILL ME!?"

"Well it's not my fault that I'm a super villain." Wacko replied. "I did try to get even with you after what had happened the last time I took over this town."

"One, I was brainwashed by you and two, Kick put you in jail, not me."

"Well now that makes sense. But still, I was trying to kill you, not Kick."

"Isn't there a way to bring him back to life?"

"Yes, but it'll only work before midnight. It's true love's kiss."

Johnny barfed.

"True love's kiss? Yuck!"

"Sorry but that's the only way to revive Kick, otherwise he'll be a dead daredevil when midnight comes."

"You are sick and twisted!"

"What time is it now?"

"6:45. Why?"

"You've got to hurry and find the girl that Kick loves, or else he'll die."

"When this is over, I'm putting you back to jail."

"Don't count on it Johnny Test."

But Johnny left.

()()()()()

Back at the mansion, Johnny told Susan and Gunther the whole story.

"True love's kiss?" Gunther asked. "Isn't there another way to wake Kick up?"

"Nope, that's the only cure Wacko had in mind." Johnny replied. "But once this is all over, Wacko is so going back to jail."

"But how do we know which girl is Kick's true love?"

"It's Kendall."

"Oh … uh?"

"Let's pay Kendall a little visit before the sock hop dance starts."

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Johnny and Gunther arrived at Kendall's house and told Kendall the whole story.

"So let me get this straight," Kendall spoke to Johnny. "Wacko escaped from jail, created an arrow that was meant to put you to sleep but Kick pushed you out of the way and got caught instead and the only way to wake him up is true love's kiss before midnight?"

"That's the whole story." Johnny replied.

"So are you going to help us?" Gunther asked Kendall.

"Since Wacko is the one behind all this," Kendall spoke as she pumps her fists. "I'll do it for Kick's sake. Where to?"

"TO THE LAB!" Johnny cried as he, Gunther and Kendall ran off.

()()()()()

Back to the lab, it was only 7:30. Johnny, Gunther, Susan and Kendall circled around Kick's body.

"But what if I'm not Kick's true love?" Kendall asked.

"Kick loves you," Gunther replied. "Trust us."

Kendall sighed as she leans forward to Kick and then kisses him on the lips. She moves back in hopes for changes to happen. Just then, Kick opens his eyes and quickly searched himself to see if any damage was made while he was asleep.

"What just happened?" Kick asked.

"This was all Wacko's fault." Johnny told Kick. "If Wacko ever shows his face again, we'll put him in jail for good."

"And we did it just before the sock hop dance!" Gunther cheered.

"The sock hop dance! I almost forgot!" Kick cried. "I've got to ask Kendall."

"I'm right here." Kendall informed Kick as she kissed him again. "And yes I'll go to the sock hop dance with you."

"While I go see what Avery is up to," Johnny replied as he transforms into Johnny X. "And put Wacko in jail along the way too."

"And I'll ask Jackie to be my date." Gunther replied.

"And I'll make another love potion to win Gil's heart once more." Susan replied, but received stares from the others. "Never mind."

()()()()()

Avery had a bath already is now deciding on which outfit should she choose for the sock hop dance. She wanted to look best, but not too best for fear that she might ruin her reputation. As she is busy choosing an outfit, she noticed Johnny X flying with Wacko tied up.

"Johnny?" Avery asked. "What are you doing and why is Wacko tied up?"

"It's a long story." Johnny replied. "And besides, Wacko escaped from jail again."

"What did he do this time?"

"Tried to get revenge on me by putting me to sleep, but he got Kick instead and Kendall woke him up with true love's kiss."

"Well you know the ol' saying, opposites attracts."

"Anyway when I'm done with Wacko here, how about going to the sock hop with me? As a date."

"Cool. How long are you going to take before you get back here?"

"10 minutes top!"

Then Johnny left to do his business.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

10 minutes later, Wacko is back in his jail cell, but what caught his attention is that Lois isn't in her jail cell.

"She must've escaped while I was gone." Wacko said to himself.

Outside the prison, we see Lois' silhouette running towards the woods.


	27. Perkins and Buttowski

_**Note: Although this marks as the first story of the new story arch where its main focus is Avery and Kendall being honorary cops and solving crimes and mystery as well as Lois constantly plotting revenge on Avery, the extra scene of the previous story "The Sleeping Daredevil" actually starts the first story arc.**_

_**Perkins and Buttowski**_

_**Summary: **__After taking career aptitude tests, scored by a malfunctioning computer both Kendall and Avery discovered that the occupations they are best suited for are police officers. But words are spread that Lois Griffin have just escaped from prison and is out to get one person - Avery._

It was a fine day at Mellowbrook Elementary as Lila has something to say that is important to her English Class which is consisted of 7th and 8th graders.

"Okay class. I have a surprise for you all." Lila spoke. "And I know I've kept that promise for today..."

In the minds of a few students, Gunther is imagining food, Kick is imagining one of his stunts, Kendall is imagining herself being a writer, and Avery is imagining that she is smoking from her hippie hookah while Johnny is imagining a bear wrestling Peter Griffin.

"I knew it." Johnny exclaimed to his mind.

"We're going to take a test." Lila spoke finally.

Everyone but Kendall groaned at this.

"Alright! A test!" Kendall cried in joy.

"What's so good about a test?" Avery spoke.

"It's the Career Aptitude Normalizing Test. Or in short form, CANT."

"Now some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you may never imagine." Lila spoke as she hands out the tests. "But for others, they may find out that life itself isn't fair as in one example, some may end up being like the Griffins who are considered bad parents and end up abusing their kids, physical and emotional."

The class stared at Lila. No words came out.

"Anyway, there are eighty questions to answer. You may begin right now."

()()()()()

Meanwhile in prison...

"Looks like we've got ourselves an escaped prisoner." Officer Mack said as he and Officer Irwin examines the empty cell that belongs to no other than Lois Griffin.

"Not just an escaped prisoner," Officer Irwin corrected. "A _sexy _escaped prisoner."

"Snap out of it Irwin. She uses her sexy looks to get what she wants."

"I wonder why she's here in the first place."

"She's here because she faked a murder and placed the blame on an innocent citizen. She is to spend almost 20 years in prison, but I can see that 20 years isn't going to get us to anywhere if this keeps up."

"I wonder where she's running off to this time."

()()()()()

Outside of prison, Lois hid in the woods, far away from the sights of the police. She is glad that she escaped from prison. Spending 20 years in prison is a total nightmare and by the time those 20 years have ended, she'd been an ugly old hag and she won't be loved anymore. She wanted to forever remain young and beautiful like a prom queen and she's not going to let another woman surpass her own beauty, rich or not.

However in her little mind, Lois is thinking of revenge on a certain individual - Avery Buttowski.

()()()()()

Back at Mellowbrook Elementary, the test is over as Lila collects the test papers.

"Well that was a waste of time." Avery remarked.

"Avery," Kendall replied. "School is _never _a waste of time."

"Since we have 15 minutes left until lunch," Lila spoke. "You can all continue working on your mystery stories that are due next week."

Sometime later, two uniformed guards come into the classroom and pick up the tests, placing them into a satchel which is handcuffed to one of the guards' wrist. The tests are flown to Iowa International Airport and rushed to the testing center for a computerizing grading. It went well, but when it gets to Johnny Test's form, it gags.

"Stupid computer!" yelled an old worker as he makes the computer work again. "It's acting like Quahog again."

()()()()()

Back at Mellowbrook Elementary, the students are given their scientifically-selected career results individually.

"A chief crew member." Gunther read his result.

"A lab assistant." Johnny read his result. "But I'm not even a straight A student."

"A daredevil and an archaeologist." Kick read his only two results.

"A famous actress." Gwen read her result.

"A ghost hunter." Dani read her result.

"A scientist." Ronaldo read his result.

"A jazz musician." Annabelle read her result.

"A history professor." Tut read his result.

"A photographer." Jackie read her result.

"A hair stylist." Brianna read her result.

"Video gamer." Kyle read his result.

"Homemaker." Sissy read her result.

"Member of the mafia." Mouth read his result. "And it's all thanks to my schemes too."

"A poet." Emo Kid read his result.

"A professional wrestler." Bumper read his result.

"A businesswoman." Janet read her result.

"A nurse." Jonni read her result.

"A martial artist." Jen read her result.

"An elementary school teacher." Betty read her results.

"A police officer?!" Kendall and Avery read their results.

"That's right ladies," Principal Henry replied.

"But that's not right." Kendall remarked. "I should be a writer."

"And I should be a member of the White House." Avery replied. "I should know, because I took Law classes recently."

"Well ladies," Principal Henry spoke. "If you two like to learn more about police officers, I could arrange for you two to ride along in a police car for the night."

"Hey! I don't need you to get us in the back of a police car." Avery barked. "Because I have a slight feeling that the police officer that is giving us a ride would be a handicapped man from Quahog who always hangs out with the fat bastard and the pervert with interests on women, young and old."

"Are you referring to Joe Swanson?" Kendall asked Avery.

"Yes." Avery replied to Kendall. "Yes I am."

()()()()()

Sometime later at the Perkins Estate.

"So how was school today, kids?" Mr. Perkins asked Darien and Kendall who are eating dinner.

"Some fat kid from Quahog started acting like a baby and me and my gang had to give him a wedgie." Darien replied cockily as usual. "He's as fat as the typical fat bastard who is a horrible excuse to be a father."

"How about you Kendall?"

"We have to take the Career Aptitude Normalizing Test," Kendall replied.

"And..."

"Avery and I are going to end up being police officers."

"Police officers!?" Darien cried in shock upon hearing Kendall's reply. "You girls might as well be dead by now!"

"I think it's a wonderful career to consider." Mr. Perkins spoke. "In fact, when I was younger, I wanted to be a police officer, but they said I'm too heavy to be one."

"What's so good about being a police officer?" Kendall asked. "It's not like they don't have to be straight A students or smart to be one."

"True, but every day is an adventure in the mind of a police officer. You might like it."

"Doubtful."

Then all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door and Kendall is quick to answer it. There at her doorway are Officers Mack and Irwin.

"Kendall Perkins?" Officer Mack asked Kendall.

"Yes." Kendall replied.

"We're here to take you with us for a ride-along." Officer Irwin replied.

"Well this should straighten her out." Darien said as Kendall follows Mack and Irwin to the police car.

"This is going to be a long night." Kendall mumbled.

()()()()()

At the Buttowski house...

"I heard that everyone in Mellowbrook Elementary took the Career Aptitude Normalizing Test!" Brad gloated as usual as the entire Buttowski family had a barbecue at the backyard.

"I'm going to be a hair stylist!" Brianna cried in joy.

"I'm going to be a video gamer!" Kyle cried as usual.

"What about you Kick?" Honey asked.

"A daredevil and an archaeologist." Kick replied.

"What about you Avery?" Sally asked Avery. "What are you going to be in the future?"

"A police officer." Avery replied. "And so is Kendall."

"Say what now?" Brad cried after hearing Avery's answer.

"Why it's a good thing." Sally replied happily. "You know, your Uncle Harold have always wanted to be a police officer for a while. But they said he's too skinny to join."

"Sally, the Army _said _I was too skinny." Harold corrected Sally. "The _police _said I was too dumb and naive."

"Isn't there anyone that's going to follow my footsteps in the future?" Brad asked.

Everyone else just stared at him, pretending not to hear that. Just then, a police car is pulled in the driveway and Harold started going nervous upon seeing Mack and Irwin.

"If this is about the copper wire, I didn't steal it!" Harold cried. "I just thought they were throwing it out."

"That's not the reason why we're here Mr. Buttowski." Mack replied.

"We're here for your niece." Irwin added. "She's coming in a ride-along with us."

Harold watch as Avery approaches Mack and Irwin.

"Maybe this'll straighten her out." Harold replied.

"Wow." Avery cried in joy as she walks into the car with Mack and Irwin. "Can I see your club?"

"Actually it's called a baton." Mack explained to Avery.

"Oh. What for?"

"We club people with it." Irwin replied.

()()()()()

At Ms. Chicarelli's house, Ms. Chicarelli could see the police hauling Avery into the car from her window.

"Well it's about time!"

()()()()()

"So you guys like being cops?" Avery asked Mack and Irwin as they ride through town.

"Oh its great being cops." Irwin replied. "You get to run through red lights, park wherever you please, hot and cold running chicks..."

"Don't you think that this is against the law?" Kendall asked.

"Sometimes." Mack replied.

Meanwhile, as the cops wait for the lights to change, the Food N' Fix at the corner is being robbed at gunpoint. Wade is the victim as a robber, who is an African-American punk, steals the money. Then the light changes as the cops continue on their way,

"Do you need straight A's to be a cop?" Kendall asked.

Avery, Mack and Irwin laugh upon hearing that.

"Well how about we go look for bad guys and look for some action?" Avery suggested. "Because right now, I'm bored."

"Avery, the life of a cop is not like how it portrays in the movies." Mack explained.

"Even I got fooled by that when I first became a police officer." Irwin noted.

Just then the red corvette that is driven by the robber at the Food N' Fix speeds past them and the cops give chase. Kendall is terrified, but Avery's having a good time.

"We are in pursuit of a speeding individual!" Irwin spoke on the radio. "He is driving a red corvette and his license number is EX CON."

The robber noticed the cops and pushed hard on the gas, letting a while car chase ensues, just like on TV.

()()()()()

At the Food N' Fix, Wade is tied to a chair.

"Wow he used nylon rope this time." Wade said. "It feels so smooth against my skin. It's almost as if the ropes are like body lotion."

()()()()()

After a few more car chase clichés, the cops chase the corvette into an alley and block off one exit with the police car. Unfortunately for them, the corvette is nowhere to be seen.

"We need backup." Mack told Irwin as they leave Avery and Kendall in the car.

"But they haven't arrived yet." Irwin replied. "They seemed to be busy."

Mack sighed as he went to the car for Kendall and Avery.

"Girls," Mack spoke as he gives Kendall and Avery guns. "I know this is against every reputation but, would you two cover us?"

"Cool." Avery replied.

Avery and Kendall are standing outside the car as the cops tiptoe to find the corvette. Just then, the corvette screams down the alley, bearing down on Kendall and Avery. Avery did whatever she can to shoot at the corvette, but not a single dent is made on the corvette. Kendall on the other hand is having difficulties handling a gun as she randomly hits random objects. Discovering that they're out of bullets, Kendall and Avery are helpless in the lone alleyway as the robber pushed the gas real hard and made a dash towards Avery and Kendall.

"See you in Hell punks!" the robber gloated.

Avery and Kendall screamed as the corvette dashes towards them. But what they saw instead is that the corvette is somehow stuck in between the alleyway as if the path is getting narrower and narrower. The robber however is unconscious. Mack and Irwin notice this and arrived in the nick of time to arrest the robber.

"Looks like you'll be in prison 10 to 20." Irwin gloated at the robber.

"He's unconscious Irwin." Mack told Irwin.

"Yeah but most unconscious people can hear us."

"I think I know what I'm going to be in the future," Avery spoke to Mack and Irwin. "A police officer."

"Well that's great kid," Mack replied. "Until you girls are older, you'll be honorary cops."

Mack then turns to Irwin.

"Give them their badges." Mack told Irwin.

Irwin was shocked at this, but eventually gave Avery and Kendall their honorary badges.

And so for the next few days, Avery and Kendall have solved many cases and made several arrests that no police officers can do. But all of that changes one day...

()()()()()

It was a nice Saturday as Avery, Annabelle, Dani and Kendall are watching a magic girl anime at Avery's house. While their eyes are glued to the TV, Sally came by with a handful of mail on her hands.

"Bills ... bills ... advertisements ... spam mails ... more bills," Sally said as she walks up to Avery and gives her a letter. "Letter for you."

"Must've been a love letter from Johnny," Dani joked.

"Very funny Danielle." Avery replied as she opened her letter. But when Avery took a look at her letter, she was speechless. The letter reads,

_**You will DIE!**_

"Are you okay Avery?" Annabelle asked Avery.

"Who the hell would want to kill me?" Avery spoke after reading her letter. "If it's Jackie, I'd shoot first, ask questions never."

"Must've been a spam mail," Kendall replied. "Or a joke, but it'll stop."

()()()()()

But a few days later, Avery received more death letters. One day, Avery, Kendall, Annabelle and Dani tried to look for hidden clues from the letters that were sent to Avery. All are written in red blood on turquoise papers.

"Wait a minute," Kendall said as she picks up a letter that is written in black ink instead of red blood. "This one doesn't seem to fit."

"That was mine actually." Annabelle replied, looking embarrassed. "I wrote that because she shot an ecto-gun at me last year and I have the scar to prove it."

Annabelle pulls her shirt up to reveal a big fat scar on her right side just above her hips. Dani, Avery and Kendall are horrified at this as it shows bits of green ectoplasm and bits of blood on it.

"Sorry." Avery replied. "For the record, I thought you were a full ghost."

"But it happens all the time." Annabelle spoke again. "Anyway, all of these letters are written in real blood."

"And all of the papers are chromed turquoise." Kendall added. "All are newsprint papers as well."

"But again, who would want to kill me?" Avery spoke.

()()()()()

In Quahog, Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie are watching the news.

"_Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker."_ said Tom Tucker on TV. "_It seems that Lois Griffin has escaped from jail for the second time, but it marks the first time, the police have failed to track her down."_

"Women," Peter mumbled. "They're stupid."

"_The first time she escaped when Wacko, another criminal escaped for a brief moment of time, was also wh__en she was caught easily by the police. If you have seen Lois Griffin, please contact the police immediately."_

()()()()()

Somewhere in the woods, a familiar silhouette picks up a knife and pricks her finger to reveal red blood bleeding from her finger. She then grabs a turquoise newsprint paper and begins writing with blood which reads,

_**Die, Avery, Die!**_

"I'm starting to love doing this," said a familiar female voice. "I hope Avery gets what's coming to her after putting me in jail to spend 20 years in!"

The person is no other than Lois Griffin. An escaped but sexy convict. She wants to get even with Avery, no matter what. She just needs to get to Mellowbrook in a low profile. She doesn't want to get caught by the cops again.

()()()()()

Back at Avery's house, Avery and Kendall are still looking for clues from the death letter when all of a sudden, Brad came running and went towards Avery.

"You gotta help me cousin!" Brad cried. "Kick's missing!"

"How did he go missing?" Avery asked.

"It all started like this ..."

_Honey, Harold and Brianna went out to the pageant again, leaving Brad to watch over Kick._

_"My show is on right now." Brad told Kick. "If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone with the TV."_

_"But aren't you suppose to keep an eye on me and not let anything happen to me?" Kick asked. "Like last time?"_

_"Well since you're doing stunts outside all the time, there's no need for me to keep an eye on you."_

_Kick was about to protest, but decided not to as he went outside to do stunts. Half-hour later, Brad's show was over._

_"Hmm. I wonder what Kick's doing." Brad said as he went outside._

_But not a living soul was seen in the cul-de-sac. All Brad could see is one object._

_Kick's skateboard._

_"That's weird." Brad said. "Kick never leaves his skateboard behind. I wonder if he went somewhere."_

_So Brad checks all the places that Kick might've gone to, from the Food N' Fix to Skidsees Ride Shop, but Kick was nowhere to be found._

_"Maybe he went to Bling-Bling's Tavern."_

_()()()()()_

_At Bling-Bling's Tavern, Bling-Bling Boy is busy serving drinks to his loyal customers when all of a sudden, his phone rang._

"_Bling-Bling's Tavern," Bling-Bling Boy answered the phone._

"_Hello is Anita here?" Johnny asked from the other end of the line. "Last name Bath?"_

"_Just a second…"_

_Bling-Bling Boy then turns to his customers._

"_Anita Bath! Anita Bath!" Bling-Bling Boy called out. "Hey everybody! I need a bath!"_

_The bar denizens did nothing but laugh at Bling-Bling Boy._

"_You sure do fat man." yelled Dimitri, the anthropomorphic Marine iguana. __**(A/N: A Sly Cooper character)**_

_This made Bling-Bling Boy angry._

"_Why you fat, pathetic weakling! If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna floss my teeth with your spine!"_

_Then Bling-Bling Boy hangs up, frustrated at the latest prank call. Then his eyes were caught on Dimitri who is walking towards the door._

"_Where are you going Dimitri?" Bling-Bling Boy asked Dimitri._

"_I am going to some place and do a job there bro." Dimitri replied. "If any one of my amigos walk here and ask where I am, tell them that the Dimitri is busy and won't spare a dime on anyone 'till further notice. You got that bro?"_

"_Yeah. But next time, work on your grammar."_

_Then Dimitri left. At the same time, Brad shows up._

_"Hey Eugene!" Brad shouted at Bling-Bling Boy. "We need to talk."_

_"What do you want to talk about Bradley?" Bling-Bling Boy replied. "I'm busy."_

_"Is Kick in there?"_

_"Let me check."_

_Bling-Bling Boy then turns to his customers._

"_Kick Buttowski! Kick Buttowski" Bling-Bling Boy called out. "Hey everybody! Is Kick Buttowski here!"_

_Instead of the usual laughter coming from the customers, not a sound was made across the room. Not even one soul moved from his spot._

_"Sorry Brad." Bling-Bling replied. "Kick's not here. Why do you need him?"_

_"To see if he's alright. But now ... he's missing."_

"... and that's the whole story." Brad finished his story. "And since you're now a policewoman, maybe you can help me find Kick and get him home before Mom gets back from the pageant."

"You should've been more responsible Bradley." Kendall added harshly.

"Please Avery?" Brad cried to Avery. "I'm begging you as your cousin. For Mom's sake, please help me find Kick before something bad happens to him."

"Alright I'll help," Avery replied. "But first things first, we don't know where Kick might be. He could be anywhere."

Just then, Sally walked by and gives Avery an envelope.

"Mail for you." Sally said as she walks away.

Avery slowly opens the envelope to reveal a turquoise newsprint paper with words written in red blood. Instead of the usual death letter, this one reads,

_**Avery Buttowski,**_

_**I have captured your cousin Kick and held him hostage. If you ever want to see your cousin again, you must meet me in person at Monte Carlo Casino in Monaco before sunset. You will see me gambling while wearing a red dress. Do not bring the police with you, or else Kick would have to go to the next world, possibly Hell.**_

_**Sincerely yours,**_

_**Lois Griffin.**_

"Lois." Avery muttered angrily. "So it is she who has captured Kick without me being aware of this, and all of those death letters were bait."

"Now what?" Brad asked. "Do we just stay here and forget all of this crap?"

"No Brad. We're going to Monaco and get Kick back to safety before sunset. Pack your bags everyone cuz we're going to kick some butt."

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Avery, Kendall and Brad have arrived in Monaco. First thing's first, find the Monte Carlo Casino, find Lois and save Kick.

"Now where would that casino be?" Brad asked. "It could be anywhere."

Then, Kendall saw the Monte Carlo Casino just a little far from a distance.

"Found it." Kendall called out.

"How would she know that?" Brad asked Avery.

"She got an A in Geography and Travel and Tourism." Avery replied. "Now let's get cracking before sunset!"

"Yes m'am!"

But the search for Kick and Lois proves to be harder than looking for a needle in a haystack. Then Avery remembers that Lois would be here in her red dress, gambling. So she, Kendall and Brad look for Lois and ultimately, they found her playing poker with other gambling addicts.

"Lois." Avery spoke which caused Lois to stop playing poker and see who is speaking to her.

"Avery." Lois said in a pleased tone. "It's so nice of you to join me. And I see that you've brought friends here as well. I hope they're not cops."

"They're not," Avery replied before pulling out a police badge and giving Kendall a wink. "But I am."

"I thought we had a deal. You won't bring the police and I won't do harm to Kick."

"True, but you didn't say anything about me bringing myself here."

"Well I suppose you're right."

"What do you want from me?"

"Simple, Avery." Lois' tone changes to pure evil" I want _revenge_."

"Revenge? For what?"

"For putting me behind bars a few months ago! And what better way to do it than to just go for my personal gun and shoot you right on this spot."

"I have a gun too y'know." Avery spoke as she pulls out her personal gun.

"Umm, Avery." Brad spoke.

"What?" Avery yelled at Brad.

"While we were busy packing and getting to Monaco, you forgot to take spare bullets with you."

Avery tries to shoot Lois, but then discovers that Brad was right. She forgot to take spare bullets with her.

"Biscuits."

"And now Avery," Lois spoke as she placed her gun on Avery's chest. "Any last requests before I blow you into bits?"

"Well, there is one," Avery spoke. "But … nah."

"No," Lois gets a little more curious. "Go on."

"Well, you have such a beautiful voice."

"Guilty as charged."

"Yeah. Anyway, I was wondering if you could sing the song _Gold Guns Girls _by Metric."

Avery gives Brad and Kendall a wink while at the same time, does something to her cell-phone secretly.

"Very well, Buttowski." Lois spoke to Avery. "I shall send you to Heaven before I send you to hell."

_**Lois:**__ All the gold and the guns in the world couldn't get you off  
>All the gold and the guns and the girls couldn't get you off<br>All the boys, all the choices in the world_

_I remember when we were gambling to win  
>Everybody else said better luck next time<br>I don't wanna bend like the bad girls bend  
>I just wanna be your friend, is it ever gonna be enough?<em>

_Is it ever gonna be enough?  
>Is it ever gonna be enough?<br>Is it ever gonna be enough?_

_Is it ever gonna be enough?  
>Is it ever gonna be enough?<br>Is it ever gonna be enough?_

_All the lace and the skin in the shop couldn't get you off  
>All the toys and the tools in the box couldn't get you off<br>All the noise, all the voices never stop_

_I remember when we were gambling to win  
>Everybody else said better luck next time<br>I don't wanna bend like the bad girls bend  
>I just wanna be your friend while you're giving me a hard time<em>

_I remember when we were gambling to win  
>Everybody else said<em>

_Is it ever gonna be enough?  
>Is it ever gonna be enough?<br>Is it ever gonna be enough?_

_Is it ever gonna be enough?  
>Is it ever gonna be enough?<br>Is it ever gonna be enough?_

_Ooh, ooh  
>More and more, more and more<br>More and more, more and more  
>And more and more, more and more<br>More and more and more and more_

_More and more, more and more  
>More and more, more and more<br>And more and more, more and more  
>More and more and more and more<em>_  
><em>_(Is it ever gonna be enough?)_

_More and more, more and more  
>More and more, more and more<br>(Is it ever gonna be enough?)  
>And more and more, more and more<br>(Is it ever gonna be enough?)  
>More and more and more and more<em>_  
><em>_(Is it ever gonna be enough?)_

_More and more, more and more  
>More and more, more and more<br>(Is it ever gonna be enough?)  
>And more and more, more and more<br>(Is it ever gonna be enough?)  
>More and more and more and more<em>_  
><em>_(Is it ever gonna be enough?)_

_More and more, more and more  
>More and more, more and more<br>(Is it ever gonna be enough?)  
>And more and more, more and more<br>(Is it ever gonna be enough?)  
>More and more and more and more<em>_  
><em>_(Is it ever gonna be enough?)_

_More and more, more and more  
>More and more, more and more<br>Is it ever gonna be enough?  
>Is it ever gonna be enough?<br>Is it ever gonna be enough?_

"And now," Lois spoke as she points her gun at Avery. "The final curtain …"

But before Lois could shoot Avery, Mack and Irwin came and grabbed Lois, handcuffing her in the process.

"You're under arrest, Lois Griffin." Irwin told Lois. "For breaking out of jail, kidnapping an innocent citizen and for trying to commit murder on a fellow officer."

"What?" Lois shriek. "But how?"

"I knew I need to buy some time to contact the police and for Brad and Kendall to find Kick." Avery explained her plan to Lois. "So I asked you to sing _Gold Guns Girls._"

"A clever plan. But you won't be so lucky the next time I get out of this prison. And when I do, I'll be coming to get you."

"In about 10 to 20."

"But you still can't find your cousin, and I bet he's long dead. Who's got the last laugh now!?"

Lois laughs hysterically as Mack and Irwin haul Lois away to prison. At the same time, Brad, Kendall and Kick arrived.

"Kick," Avery spoke upon seeing Kick for the first time. "Are you alright."

"It was nothing, really." Kick replied. "After Lois kidnapped me, I escaped without her knowing it, and then, I saw Brad and Kendall running in the place, so I thought I'd help them on what was going on. And it turns out Lois had gotten arrested yet again."

"Remind me to tell Lois to never underestimate the Buttowski family again, once we get back home to Mellowbrook."

"Noted."

()()()()()

Several minutes later, just before sunset, Kick, Avery, Kendall and Brad returned home to Mellowbrook. Everything went well, until Honey, Harold and Brianna came home.

"Sorry we're late on coming home." Honey explained to Brad. "But your father ended up looking weird and we had to go to the hospital to examine him, but the results were freaky."

"Is he a freak now?" Brad asked Honey.

Just then, Harold comes out of the car and he looked … different. His hair had grown long, he's wearing makeup and he's sprouted generous breasts.

"He's a lady!" Kendall cried before fainting.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Avery cried while holding her stomach.

"Kick," Honey spoke. "Go upstairs and get some medicine."

But unknown to the family, Quagmire, who came out of nowhere, has his owns ideas – courting the brunette lady.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

Harold, now a lady, ends up getting followed by the eager Quagmire.

"Mr. Quagmire," Harold spoke. "There's something that you need to know."

"Know what, my love?" Quagmire replied happily. "All I know is that I've got two tickets to the movies. It's playing _Sky Fall _starring James Bond."

Then Harold decided that the truth can wait. He jumps into Quagmire's arms and kisses him.

"I'm all yours!"


	28. Crimson Noir Part 1

_**Crimson Noir Part 1: Gwen's Disappearance**_

_**Summary: **__Gwen Axle had not showed up at school for 5 days straight and others feared that she may be missing. Avery and Kendall, two young students destined to become police officers after taking the career test, took matters into their own hands and with the help of Classic Woody Woodpecker and some of his friends, they set off to look for clues and find Gwen before it's too late._

_**A/N: The version I'm using for Woody Woodpecker and his friends is the classic (and comic) version (1951-1972) with the exception of Ms. Meany and Wally Walrus being in their current versions (1999-2002). This will be used for all future stories and tales featuring Woody Woodpecker and his friends.**_

Woody Woodpecker sat on the couch, finishing up a detective novel one evening. The novel is a classic. Too bad they don't make those anymore. While he's finishing up, he notices his niece and nephew, Knothead and Splinter watching an old detective movie that is showing on TV.

"_Madame, I know exactly who stole your pearls" _said the detective on TV. "_It was the maid."_

_"I confess!" _The maid cried. "_I couldn't help but to have the pearls all to myself. That is why I put the blame on the butler and I would've gotten away if it weren't for you, Detective Montoya!"_

"We all know the maid did it." Knothead told Splinter. "She should've been more intelligent. Otherwise, this whole detective thing would've been lame, just like the show Family Guy."

"Don't ever mention that show Knothead." Woody told Knothead. "I can't stand that horrible show and its horrible characters. Except Meg of course."

"She's a better character than the others." Splinter replied. "I just simply despise Lois for some reason."

"She's a bad mother." Knothead replied. "And she's no worse than that fatass Peter Griffin."

"Although you kids don't like that detective movie," Woody spoke. "I'll tell you a detective story instead."

"Promise it won't be lame?" Knothead asked. "We want it to be exciting and mysterious."

"And not as bad as Family Guy," Splinter replied. "Oh and no random cutaway gags."

"I promise." Woody replied. "In fact, this story is a true story. It all began just a few days ago, in a town called Mellowbrook..."

* * *

><p>Monday came as all the sleepy children of Mellowbrook drag their bodies out of their beds and face the fact that they have to go to school. It's what some people called, <em>The Monday Blues.<em> Everyone in the town hated Mondays and can't wait for the day to end. As for the children, they have to do the same routine to go to school up until Friday, the day where all the good things happen.

But in the case of Avery Buttowski and Kendall Perkins, every day is an adventure to them since both of them are now honorary police officers thanks to the career test they got a week ago.

It was 8:20 AM, just a few minutes before school officially started. All the seventh graders and eighth graders are heading to History Class. Their teacher is Mr. Henry Teacherman who may be harsh and tough, but wants what's best for his students. When school started, no one was late, except for Johnny who accidentally overslept for the third time this month. Though it all seems like a full house, only one student, a female eighth grader is absent. Gwen Axle.

"Is Gwen Axle here today?" Mr. Teacherman asked as he did the attendance.

But no reply came from the red-haired girl. Nor had she made her appearance in school today.

"I think she's sick," Gunther wondered.

"Nonsense," Jackie replied. "Who would possibly get sick just to miss out on a quiz?"

Could it be that Gwen Axle is sick? Or that she had some sort of appointment to attend to? Questions filled the students' mind, but they are certain that Gwen would show up tomorrow.

But when Tuesday came, Gwen Axle is still absent. Maybe she caught a flu and is required to stay until she gets better. This was not spoken for again until Friday came when everyone at school are now getting worried about Gwen's whereabouts. If Gwen wasn't sick or had the flu, then what kept her from going to school in the past few days?

Rumors about Gwen spread from a local elementary school to the entire community. Police officers had Kat questioned since they know that she's the elder sister of Gwen. But unfortunately, Kat does not know about Gwen's whereabouts, other than the fact that Gwen didn't came home on Sunday, the day before the school discovered her absence. Several students, teachers and a few close ones were also questioned, but the results aren't always good.

The local police then decided to take into desperate measures, by contacting the FBI. When the FBI heard about a local red-haired girl going missing, they tried searching for answers hoping that they would find the girl's whereabouts, but none are what they're looking for, except one fact. Over the past few weeks, red-haired women all over the USA are beginning to disappear. If their instincts are proven, it could mean that Gwen Axle was the latest red-haired girl to disappear without a trance. But who is behind the disappearance of these women and what sick and twisted plan is the person going to do to the now defenseless women?

* * *

><p>"Red-haired women disappearing all over America?" Knothead asked Woody. "If that was true, wouldn't Splinter be missing as well?"<p>

"Nonsense Knothead." Woody replied. "I don't think the person who is behind all that is interested in woodpeckers like us. We just aren't worthy enough for him."

"What if the person is a she?" Splinter asked. "We may never know the gender of that person."

"Well I guess you have a point there Splinter." Woody replied.

"Please continue with the story Uncle Woody."

"Alright ..."

* * *

><p>When school is finally over, Avery and Kendall are called down to the police station for a brief meeting. Sound like this meeting is important so it's best for them to focus.<p>

"We police officers of Mellowbrook have gathered round in this ... office to discuss about the disappearance of Gwen Axle!" Officer Irwin spoke in triumph.

"Thank you for reminding them Irwin as I am aware that _half_ of them are asleep." Mack replied as he took over. "While we were questioning a few citizens about Gwen's whereabouts, the FBI has just contacted us and gave us a fact that might be linked to Gwen's disappearance."

"What is the fact?" Kendall asked.

"It seems that over the past few weeks, red-haired women all over the USA are beginning to disappear."

"What does that have to do with the fact that Gwen is missing?"

"If their instincts are true, it could mean that Gwen Axle was the latest red-haired girl to disappear without a trance." Avery responded. "But who is behind all this?"

"Maybe a pervert who has a newfound interest on red-haired women," Winthrop spoke _**(A/N: a Sly Cooper character that is an otter and appears only in the comics of the video game)**_ while daydreaming about the lovely vixen, Inspector Carmelita Fox.

"A pervert?" Avery replied. "That sounds like Quagmire's doing."

"But Quagmire himself is more interested on Asian women." Kendall told Avery. "Remember the time he tried to kidnap Selena, forcing Brad to rescue her?"

"Yeah I remember that, _Kandy_." Avery responded.

"Quit calling me that!" Kendall replied angrily to Avery. "I hate it when you call me that."

"Just like how Kick hated it whenever you called him by his real name."

"Yeah well this has nothing to do with Kick. We're talking about Gwen here."

"Good point. Officer Mack."

"Yes?" Mack replied to Avery.

"Did you already question Kat?"

"Yes I have already questioned Kat. She said that Gwen didn't come home on Sunday, the day before the school discovered her absence. However, Kat did mention one thing."

"What?"

"She said that Gwen was about to come home after going to the mall to get some lipsticks for her. But she didn't come home that day."

"Guess I can assume that the mall is pretty crowded and full of danger. Would it be okay if Kendall and I decided to take the case ourselves?"

"Well, since you two did bring Lois back to jail the last time after she made her getaway and that you two have solved more cases than anyone else in this room, I suppose you girls can take over from here."

And that marks the beginning of their adventure. It was 5:00 PM on a Friday night as Avery and Kendall head to the mall to look for clues and more importantly, Gwen. Though this mission seems easy, Avery was the only one who is not in a mood to be at the mall.

"Now first thing's first," Avery spoke to Kendall. "Let's go to the beauty store. That might be where Gwen is last seen on Sunday."

* * *

><p>"Can we ask you a question Uncle Woody?" Knothead asked Woody.<p>

"Sure," Woody replied. "But after that, no more interruptions."

"Are you in this story as well?" Splinter asked.

"Well as a matter of fact, yes. Avery and Kendall aren't the only ones who are in Gwen's case ..."

* * *

><p>It was 4:45 PM on a Friday night. Woody Woodpecker, private eye detective of Mellowbrook is as usual wrapping things up after solving yet another case. The last case he solved was the case of the missing pearls from Beverly Hills, a place where rich people lived and by God, it's far away from Mellowbrook. The case itself wasn't easy as most of his suspects and witnesses are nothing but snobby people, but at least he solved the case.<p>

With no more cases to solve, Woody picks up an old comic book and starts reading. He had a few good laughs from the comic book, despite the fact that the comic is a few decades old.

Then all of a sudden, someone walked inside his office. Woody stops reading the comic and took a look at his latest client. She was no older than 17 years old with short curly blonde hair. She wore a red summer dress under a brown leather jacket, giving her such a sexy appearance. Woody tries his best not to get distracted by the beauty of his client.

"Are you Woody Woodpecker?" the girl asked. "The private eye detective of Mellowbrook?"

"That's me." Woody replied as he gives his client his trademark laugh. "Who are you?"

"My name's Katrina Axle, but everyone calls me Kat."

"Nice name though. What seems to be the problem?"

"You have to help me Woody." Kat cried. "My little sister Gwen is missing and you've got to find her."

"You got a photo of Gwen?"

Kat pulls out a picture of Gwen from her purse and gives it to Woody. Woody nods before giving it back to Kat.

"Y'know for a young girl like Gwen here, she's pretty cute." Woody said. "When was the last time you seen her?"

"Last Sunday," Kat replied. "She was supposed to come home from the beauty store at the mall, but she didn't come home. I feared that someone kidnapped her."

"Don't worry Kat. I'll find Gwen and bring her home. Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, hahahahahahaha!"

()()()()()

5:00 PM. Woody starts the case by searching clues at the mall and more specifically, the beauty store. But when he got there, two girls, no older than 13 years old are already inside.

"Now first thing's first, let's go to the beauty store." Woody heard a brunette girl spoke to the blonde girl. "That might be where Gwen is last seen on Sunday."

"But Avery, Gwen might have gone home." the blonde girl replied.

"Kendall. Gwen hasn't shown up for five days straight. How could she have gone straight home if she is absent for five days straight? Even Kat admitted that Gwen wasn't even home."

"Well I guess you're right Gwen."

"I hate to interrupt you girls," Woody said as he walks up to Avery and Kendall. "But are you two also planning to find Gwen?"

"Who are you and how would you know about this case?" Avery asked Woody. "This is _honorary _police business."

"I'm Woody Woodpecker, private eye detective. I am also on this case."

"By whom?"

"Katrina Axle."

"Couldn't she just report it to the police?" Kendall asked.

"She said she was going to but apparently, most police officers that she knows aren't always focused on cases like this. She felt that only detectives get to handle this case. So, who are you guys?"

"I'm Kendall Perkins, class president of Mellowbrook Elementary." Kendall said proudly.

"Kendall Perkins eh?" Woody replied. "Are you still hating that Kick Buttowski kid and giving him a hard time?"

"That was in the past. He and I are sort of in a relationship now."

"Kendall and Kick sitting in the tree!" Avery teased Kendall. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Knock it off Avery." Kendall said to Avery.

"Just doing it for the readers. You know how much the fans supported this relationship." Avery looks at Woody. "_Speaking _of relationships how's the relationship with Winnie?"

"Uh," Woody's words are lost as he tries to speak. "It's a long story."

"Let me guess," Kendall smirked. "She broke up with you?"

Woody nods slowly.

"What happened?" Avery asked.

"I was at the mall getting a present for Winnie for her birthday three years ago," Woody told his story. "As I was leaving, a pretty, red-haired woman who wore an aqua shirt, beige pants and red slippers approaches before I could get out of the store."

"Isn't she Lois Griffin?"

"Yes that was her. I knew I'd recognize her bitchy appearance. She asked me to have sex with her, but I refuse because I don't want to cheat on Winnie. But Lois didn't give up. Before I could escape, Lois grabbed me and then she kissed me, long enough for Winnie to see and get mad about it."

"What was Winnie's reaction?"

"She was furious. She bruised me real hard until my body is numb and blacked me out by smashing a glass mirror on my head. She then declared that we're through. I tried to apologize to her and tried to tell her my side of the story, but no matter how hard I tried, Winnie would not listen. Sometime later after all of my injuries from Winnie are healed, I then decided to never again trust a woman, no matter how attractive they are."

"You can trust us right?" Kendall asked Woody.

"It'll never be the same." Woody replied. "Even if I trust only one girl, it will still remind me of the breakup."

"Anyway, can you trust us for now?" Avery asked. "At least until the case is finished."

"Alright. I'll trust you girls for now," Woody replied. "But after we find Gwen, we go on our separate ways. Get it?"

"Got it." Kendall replied.

Just then, something caught Avery's eyes. Right behind the counter was the worker of the store all tied up and gagged. Avery can assume that the worker was bounded for a week with no food or water and looks very weak. She had used all of her strength to free herself all week, but hunger and thirst won her over. Avery walks closer to the worker and took of her gag to let the worker gasp for air.

"Thank God!" said the worker after taking a deep breath. "It's been a week since I last took a good breath."

"Can you tell us how you got tied up in the first place?" Woody asked the worker.

"Well it was last Sunday night. A red-haired girl no older than 13 came to the store to buy some lipstick for her older sister. As I was collecting her money after paying for the lipstick, a stranger who wore a fedora and an oversized black coat came. I don't know the gender or the face, but the stranger seemed dangerous as he had a knife in his hand. The red-haired girl and I were scared. The red-haired girl was about to run, but the stranger caught her and held her hostage by placing a knife towards her neck. I tried to call the police but the stranger has friends and as a result, his friends tied me up and gagged me, preventing me from getting help."

"Then what happened afterwards?" Avery asked.

"The stranger and his friends had the red-haired girl captive and they left. But surprisingly, the stranger left this."

The worker pulls out a yellowish paper and gives it to Avery. It reads,

_**Aerogun Nightclub, the most popular nightclub of Quahog.**_

"So Gwen is taken to Aerogun Nightclub," Avery spoke. "And it's in Quahog."

"I heard that Quahog is full of mean people," Woody replied. "Even the rich and popular."

"And they're full of retards and dirty sluts." Kendall spoke as well. "All are immoral. Except Meg Griffin of course cause she's nice."

"Well then let's go to Quahog," Avery replied. "To find Gwen Axle."

"Watch out Quahog citizens," Woody spoke. "Because we're giving you a soul injection!"

* * *

><p><em>Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boo<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boo<em>

"What was that?" Woody asked as he heard Little Richard's_** Tutti Frutti.**_

"We're listing to _**Tutti Frutti **_on the radio," Splinter said as she and Knothead are dancing. "Wanna join us?"

"Well I guess the story can be on hold for now." Woody replied as he too dances with Knothead and Splinter.

_Got a girl named Sue, she knows just what to do  
>Got a girl named Sue, she knows just what to do<br>She rock to the east, she rocks to the west  
>But she's the girl that I know best<em>

_Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boo<em>

_Got a girl named Daisy, she almost drives me crazy  
>Got a girl named Daisy, she almost drives me crazy<br>She knows how to love me, yes indeed  
>Boy, I don't know what you're doing' to me<em>

_Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>A whop bop-a-lu a whop<em>

As Woody, Knothead and Splinter are dancing, they didn't notice that Buzz Buzzard, a con-man and Wally Walrus, their neighbor joined in on the fun. When they realized it, they just let them dance.

_Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boo<em>

_Got a girl named Daisy, she almost drives me crazy  
>Got a girl named Daisy, she almost drives me crazy<br>She knows how to love me, yes indeed  
>Boy, I don't know what you're doing' to me<em>

_Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy<br>Tutti frutti, oh Rudy  
>A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boo<em>

"Well that was the best fun I have ever had so far." Wally told Woody.

"Yeah but now, I've got to continue on with the story." Woody said as Knothead and Splinter went back to the couch to hear the story again.

"May we help too?" Buzz asked. "You mind, don't you?"

"I don't mind. Now where we're we?"

"You were telling us about looking for Gwen in Quahog." Knothead told Woody.

"I believe I left that off when that music played. Anyway …"

* * *

><p>It was 5:30 PM. Woody, Avery and Kendall took a bus to Quahog in search of Gwen. They stayed really close for fear that one of them may be separated in the big slutty city and never be heard of again. They asked a few people for directions to Aerogun Nightclub, but none took pity of them as they think only about themselves and no one else.<p>

"This stinks!" Avery replied madly. "Everyone in Quahog is immoral and selfish."

"Not everyone." Said a voice that came from the alley.

Woody is able to recognize that voice within minutes. He heard it before but who was that person. As he, Avery and Kendall went to the alley; they saw no one but a grayish anthropomorphic buzzard who wore a plum sweater with a black stripe across, a pair of white gloves, a pair of black pants and a brown-reddish derby.

"Why it's Buzz Buzzard, one of my primary foils," Woody spoke. "What brings you here in Quahog?"

"To get my exact revenge on a certain someone who ruined my life." Buzz replied as he pumps his fists.

"Y-y-you don't mean…"

"That's right, woodpecker. Someone's going to get it, and it's going to be Peter Griffin the fat, disgusting retard!"

"Why Peter?" Kendall asked. "What did he do to you to make you mad?"

"He took everything I loved away years ago. He took my house, my money, my job and my wife who later divorced me just to be with a rich playboy! And that's how I became a con artist."

"Why that no-good fat bastard!" Woody yelled. "Wait 'til I get my hands on him and peck him in the head real hard! Where is he?"

"He went to Aerogun Nightclub. He goes there every night and gets himself drunk, _too _drunk."

"We're going there as well."

"To get drunk?"

"No, to find Gwen Axle."

"Gwen Axle?"

"Yeah. She got kidnapped by a stranger who wore a fedora and a black coat."

"Have you seen them come this way?" Avery asked Buzz.

"Why yes. Yes I have, but it's been so long, being a con artist for all those years and tricking people into giving me their money sort of drains my intelligence."

"But you're not that dumb." Woody replied. "Sometimes your plans seem to work well. You're a genius at your own world."

"But brains itself wouldn't hurt when living a decent life in adulthood." Kendall barked.

"Hey."

"Pipe it down Kandy!" Avery replied. "We're on a case here."

"But there's something that I should warn you." Buzz spoke again. "Aerogun Nightclub is heavily guarded. Only guests or those that are cool and popular are allowed to enter Aerogun. Those that are losers, like what they think of poor Meg Griffin, are not allowed and if caught while inside will face terrible consequences. One of the most horrible consequences is either death or slavery to other nightclubs worldwide."

"And how would you know that?" Avery asked.

"I should know because one of my brothers was killed when he got caught inside because he is deemed as a loser and my sister, also a loser was put into slavery and is forced to work in a nightclub in Saudi Arabia."

"But you can't join us." Kendall told Buzz. "You're a con artist and we don't want to be scammed by you."

"Please let me join." Buzz dropped to his knees and begged. "I have nowhere else to go but the alley. It's terrible in there."

"Why should we trust you? You're a con artist."

"I know but I only became one because of Peter Griffin. Why if he didn't ruin my life, I'd still have a good home, a good job and a family."

"I guess we should let him join." Woody told Avery and Kendall.

"All in favor of letting Buzz join," Avery spoke. "Say 'aye'."

"Aye!" cried Woody and Avery.

"All opposing say 'nay'."

"Nay." Kendall replied.

"2 against 1," Avery spoke before facing Buzz. "Welcome to the team."

"Great." Buzz replied. "Now my first idea is that the three of you are going to need disguises to look like pretty, popular ladies."

"If we're going to need disguises, how come you don't get to wear one?" Kendall asked.

"One, the guards think that I'm cool because of my derby, two, I go there every day to scam other people into giving me their money in which I use it to buy food later on and three, the loser is able to get inside scot-free when escorted by popular and pretty ladies."

"But how come Woody has to be the lady? He's not even a girl for crying out loud!"

"And that's where the explanation comes. People in Quahog think that male woodpeckers, like Woody are ugly and are considered losers due to the lack of clothing they wear and some people might think that they're freaks. Female woodpeckers on the other hand are considered pretty and cool since most female woodpeckers wore fashionable clothing though sometimes they wear only a skirt."

"Now I know why Woody has to be the third woman of this plan." Avery spoke. "I'll get the dresses."

"There's no need for that. I have spare dresses that you guys can use."

"You're kidding?" Kendall spoke. "You expect us to wear old, dirty clothes."

But Buzz pulls out a big briefcase and when he opens it, the briefcase transforms into a wardrobe filled with stylish clothes worn by the popular.

"Now I stand corrected. Any private spots that Avery and I can use?"

"Try getting changed behind a huge set of clothes." Buzz told Kendall. "Due to me having a lot of clothing that I used to disguise myself, the back of it lacks any open space as I tend to have my wardrobe messy."

Avery and Kendall picked out their dresses of choice and got changed behind the huge sets of clothes. When they're done, Buzz howled like a wolf. Avery wore a sleeveless pink 60s party dress complete with a pair of white disco boots, black tights, a pink flower on her hair and black evening gloves which reached to her elbows. Kendall wore a sleeveless green party dance with a pink stripe across it complete with a pair of pink disco boots, black tights and pink evening gloves which reached to her elbows. She even changed her hairstyle as she made her ponytail higher.

The hard part now is, putting Woody in a dress. To Woody, it shouldn't be hard as he is one of the best drag queens in the world, but to Kendall and Avery, it'll be harder than hard.

"I'll give Woody the proper ladylike disguise." Kendall said as she grabs a red dress and a corset. "We want people to think that Woody is a girl and not a boy."

"I can get the corset on just fine." Woody said.

"No way. You'll do a sloppy job on it. Let me do it."

"But Kendall, Woody is able to do it on his own," Avery told Kendall. "It's not like he doesn't wear clothes all the time."

"But men can tie the corset wrong. That is why I'm tying the corset for Woody to give him the body of a woman."

"Go ahead, but I didn't say I warned you."

Kendall just shrugged as she puts the corset on Woody and ties it _real _tight. Normally Woody is used to the pain of his ribcages when wearing a tight corset, but since Kendall tied it way too tight, Woody is not used to it. The pain is a hundred times more painful than he used to have. In fact, his ribcages are killing him, making him lose the ability to breathe. And when Kendall puts on the red dress for Woody, not only can't he breathe, he can't move like he used to when wearing a dress.

"Can't … breathe … nor … move." Woody tried to speak.

"I told you not to give him a tight corset!" Avery yelled at Kendall.

"Well I'm sorry but that's the only way we'll be able to get inside the club!" Kendall yelled back.

"That's the second time you almost killed someone. Remember the time when Kick had to disguise himself as a woman and you tied his corset too tight?"

"It's not my fault. I was trying to get his disguise right!"

"But you cut off his oxygen and he almost died. Why did you have to be so reckless with the corset?"

"I'm not that reckless!"

"Uh girls," Buzz spoke.

"WHAT!?" Kendall and Avery yelled.

"Woody just passed out. I think he's dead."

Kendall and Avery turned around and true to Buzz's words, Woody passed out, not breathing.

"Told you so." Avery told Kendall as she loosens up the corset to let Woody breathe again.

"Ah," Woody said as he took a deep breath. "I thought I was a goner."

"That's what we all thought chum," Buzz replied. "Now let's try that again."

"But this time, Woody gets to tie the corset." Avery said as she gives Woody the corset.

"He'll do a sloppy job." Kendall warned.

But despite what Kendall said, Woody ties the corset in the way he remembers when disguising himself as a woman for all those years. It's tight, but not _too _tight like Kendall did earlier, thus giving him the body of a woman.

"You were saying?" Avery remarked at Kendall.

"I stand corrected." Kendall spoke in a monotone.

Woody then puts on a red dress. Despite the fact that the dress is a little tight and the fact that it limited his ability to move freely, making the dress look like it wrapped his legs together like a mummy, Woody can move from one place to another, albeit a little slower than usual. Then he puts on a pair of black evening gloves that reaches his elbows and wore lipsticks and black mascaras on his eyes. When he is finished, all Buzz could do is howl like a wolf.

"Wow!" Buzz cried. "I can't even tell if you're male or female right now. Your disguise is perfect!"

"Let's get this show on the road." Avery said as the gang left to find Aerogun Nightclub.

()()()()()

It was now 7:00 PM. Aerogun Nightclub shines a great light in the twilight sky. But behind the great light, there was darkness inside. Workers and guests inside such a great light all have darkness possessed in their bodies. A line of people, wannabee teenagers and adults, young bitches and old perverts, wait in line to gain access inside the nightclub. But as usual, not a lot of people in line can get access inside despite their attempts to be cool and popular from being bitches to the less popular to wearing fashionable yet popular clothes to hide their real images.

"Access denied!" a muscular guard told a nerd boy who wore a disco outfit.

"Aw c'mon." whined the nerd boy. "Can't you just let me in?"

"No. You're a loser and your outfit stinks."

"This sucks." The nerd boy walked away. "I should've been home by now, playing _**World of Warcraft**_."

As the guard looks at his clipboard, he saw Buzz Buzzard who wore a green tux waiting to gain access. What the guard saw that was different is that he had three beautiful girls, one woodpecker and two humans, with him, all dressed in sexy outfits.

"Name?" the guard asked Buzz.

"Buzz Buzzard." Buzz replied.

"You're not on the guest list."

"Would you still give me access to get inside if I have three beautiful women with me?"

"Well I suppose I could, though I have to admit, they're really cool and pretty at the same time. Access granted."

Buzz gives the guard five bucks as he and the three ladies went inside the nightclub.

"Nice work Buzz." Avery whispered to Buzz.

"Don't mention it." Buzz whispered back. "Let's go find Gwen and the stranger."

But the task is harder than it looks. The nightclub is packed with cool and popular people. How will they find Gwen and the stranger now?

"How will we find them?" Kendall asked. "The place is packed!"

"We'll split up and find them quicker." Avery suggested.

"But the worst that could happen is that one of you could end up bumping in Quagmire who is a sick pervert and rapist." Buzz warned. "And I really don't want either one of you to get raped by him."

"We know that," Avery told Buzz. "I know Kendall and I have encountered him in the past, but we certainly don't want Quagmire to think Woody is really a girl even though Woody hasn't met Quagmire before."

"Agreed." Woody replied.

"So do we stay close?" Buzz asked.

"If we're going to cover more ground and find Gwen before something bad happens to her, it's best that we split up." Avery said one more time.

Everyone agreed as they split up to find Gwen. Along the way, they even ask other people a few questions but atlas, their search for answers have yet to be found. Woody had a little trouble along the way as many men are eying him as if they want to have sex with him. No man in Quahog had even seen a female woodpecker as beautiful as the desert flower. Despite their attempts to impress such a beautiful woodpecker, Woody managed to get away.

But who did he accidently bump into? Quagmire.

He eyed Woody with lust. That female woodpecker is fairer and more beautiful than other female woodpeckers. In fact, the female woodpecker is a lot sexier than any human female. He wants to have sex with the woodpecker. Badly.

"Hey there cutie," Quagmire said to Woody. "I'm Quagmire. What's your name?"

_So this is Quagmire that the others were talking about. _Woody thought as he studied Quagmire. _He sure looks like a pervert to me._

"Speechless eh? How about we have some _alone_ time together?"

_Seriously? _Woody gave Quagmire a frown. _Does he not notice that I'm a male woodpecker?_

"No." Woody answered Quagmire's question while trying to sound more feminine.

But before Woody could get away, Quagmire grabs Woody's arm real hard and pull him closer to him, his eyes becoming lustful in seconds.

"You can't resist the good-looking Quagmire." Quagmire spoke softly to Woody. "We're gonna have a party! Giggity, giggity, giggity."

Woody tries to get himself free, but Quagmire, despite being a little skinny, has an iron grip. Having no other choice, Woody gives out a woodpecker scream that caught Kendall and Avery's attention.

"Uh oh," Avery told Kendall. "Woody's in trouble."

"And it looks like Quagmire had gotten to him." Kendall replied.

"We better save Woody from getting raped."

"Agreed."

* * *

><p>"Wait, you were captured by Quagmire?" Knothead asked Woody.<p>

"I've got the mark on my arm to prove it." Woody replied. "Wanna see it?"

"I'm good."

"Then what happened?" Splinter asked. "Did you and the gang find Gwen?"

But before Woody could respond, he felt a pain in the stomach. He quickly got up and went to the bathroom.

"While Woody's occupied, I'll take over." Buzz said as he sits on the couch.

"What happened next?" Splinter asked Buzz.

"While Kendall and Avery are busy rescuing Woody from Quagmire …"

* * *

><p>Buzz tried his hardest to find both the stranger and Gwen but to no avail. As he finds a spare table to sit down, he noticed Ms. Meany, wearing a hideous outfit and serving refreshments to the guests.<p>

"Ms. Meany." Buzz said to Ms. Meany. "What brings you here in such a horrible city like Quahog?"

"I don't have time to answer your question buzzard!" Ms. Meany replied in a grouchy tone. "I'm on duty here!"

"Well if you don't mind, as a customer, I demand some service."

"What will you have sir?"

"Iced tea if you please."

"Coming right up."

As Ms. Meany jots down Buzz's order, Buzz noticed a nerdy boy spraying perfume all over him. He looks excited. A wolf ready to pounce on an unexpected lamb.

"What's up with him?" Buzz asked Ms. Meany.

"Oh you'll get used to it." Ms. Meany replied. "That boy never misses a night. Especially when Marilyn Buttowski performs."

"So he's got a thing for daredevils huh?"

"Quite so."

"_And now, the moment you've all been waiting for._" Spoke the announcer. _"Please welcome the queen of swing, Marilyn Buttowski!"_

The lights dim as the spotlight shines on the curtains. The curtains open to reveal a beautiful woman who had a reddish-brown afro, indigo eyes and tanned skin. She wore a purple gown complete with white evening gloves that reaches her elbows.

_**Marilyn:**_ _You had plenty of money in 1922.  
>You let other women make a fool of you.<br>Why don't you do right,  
>like some other men do?<em>

_Get out of here,  
>get me some money too.<em>

Buzz was speechless. He had never seen a Buttowski woman so beautiful before.

"She's a Buttowski?" Buzz whispered to Ms. Meany.

"Yeah." Ms. Meany whispered back. "What a lucky girl."

_**Marilyn: **__You're sitting down and wondering what it's all about.  
>If you ain't got no money, they will put you out.<br>Why don't you do right,  
>like some other men do?<em>

_Get out of here,  
>get me some money too.<em>

_Now if you had prepared 20 years ago.  
>You wouldn't be a wandering now from door to door.<br>Why don't you do right,  
>like some other men do?<em>

_Get out of here,  
>get me some money too.<em>

_Get out of here,  
>get me some money too.<em>

_Why don't you do right, like some other men… _

Marilyn walks up to Buzz, who can only watch as she went closer to his beak.

_**Marilyn: **__… do?_

Marilyn walks back up to stage as the crowd applauds. Buzz is so in love with Marilyn. But how can he get her to love him?

* * *

><p>"This has nothing to do with the story, you buzzard-brain." Wally barked at Buzz. "It doesn't make any sense."<p>

"Oh come on Wally." Knothead replied. "Think of it as a side story. You've got to admit that was pretty cool. Right Buzz? Buzz?"

But what Knothead, Splinter and Wally saw was Buzz floating in the air going all lovesick.

_**Buzz: **__You had plenty of money in 1922.  
>You let other women make a fool of you.<br>Why don't you do right,  
>like some other men do?<em>

"He sure does love that Marilyn woman." Splinter told Knothead.

"I just can't wait to see Woody's reaction when he gets out of the bathroom." Knothead replied.

And when Woody got out of the bathroom, what the others saw were bits of green ectoplasm coming from his beak.

"Ectoplasm sickness?" Wally questioned Woody.

"Ectoplasm sickness." Woody replied the same thing. "Now where were we?"

"We were just at the part where you got captured by Quagmire, only for Buzz to tell his side story instead and then going lovesick in the air."

"I feel like I'm in heaven." Buzz said.

"Okay let's get back down to earth buzzard!" Woody said as he pulls Buzz back to the ground. "The story's not going to wait any longer."

"Agreed."

* * *

><p>Woody had tried whatever he can to get help, but … he just can't do it. He's tied up and gagged in one of the nightclubs' private room where people usually have their alone time together. He thought for sure that he's going to get raped by Quagmire and this is going to haunt him for the rest of his life. He's a male woodpecker for crying out loud. He's certain that Avery, Kendall and Buzz are having a hard time trying to find him, and he's also certain that for whatever reason, his ex-girlfriend wouldn't even care if he got raped by a pervert. If Lois hasn't showed up out of the blue and kissed him in public, none of this would've ever happened.<p>

How could he let his guard down whenever a woman is around? It made him feel stupid and weak. Sure he's used to having seven older sisters, but that's a different story. They're not like those girls who would just dump their normal boyfriends so that they can spend more time together with rich, handsome playboys who are only interested in having fun. His ex-girlfriend, Winnie however is one of those girls. She dumped him, because she saw him kissing with Lois even though Woody tried to escape from her wrath, and then left him so that she can go straight to Wellsley, another woodpecker whom Winnie thinks is a better man than Woody would ever be. Although most of this situation is his own fault, Woody, unlike previous situations, would not even go that far to get Winnie to forgive him. It had happened in the past, but now, the table has turned.

Once he gets out of this mess alive, raped or not, he's never going to forgive Winnie nor would he trust another girl for the rest of his life. He doesn't care if he sees a girl cry, or if another would try to win his affection. He's not going to trust girls. Ever.

"Are we ready to get this show on the road doll face?" Woody hears Quagmire from the bathroom.

Woody tries struggling from the ropes to escape from Quagmire, but it was no use. Quagmire tied the knots pretty well. It's hopeless. He's going to get raped by Quagmire, by force. He couldn't run away. He couldn't even scream for help.

There's only one thing left to do when trying to escape from a rapist. Escape by hopping his way out, tied up or not. He saw the opened door. Quagmire is still in the bathroom. Now's his chance. Woody squirmed to get himself up on his feet, his hands still bounded and the tight red dress that limited his ability to move fast. He began hopping. Hopping to the opened door.

Woody could feel freedom but just as he only an inch away from the door, his right arm, though still bounded got trapped. He recognized that iron grip, the same grip that is most likely to cut off the circulation of one's arm than a regular rope would do. Woody had a sudden shiver. He knew what is going to happen next and he's not going to escape from it sooner or later.

"What's the hurry babe?" Quagmire smirked as he placed a bounded Woody on the bed. "We're just getting started. Giggity."

Woody could not believe what he just saw. Quagmire wore nothing but his trademark jaguar underwear. He feels sick. He wants to throw up immediately, but just remembered that he is gagged. What could he do? He can't run, hop, or scream his way out of here. His beak is jammed tight. Beak. That's it.

Drag queen or not, Woody is still a woodpecker. As Quagmire makes his attempts to give out a kiss, Woody pecks Quagmire in the eye. Quagmire cried in pain as he backs away from Woody. Using the chance he had, Woody then proceeds to peck the ropes off of him within minutes and then, took off his gag.

"Free at last!" Woody cried as he escapes from Quagmire where all of a sudden, he bumps into Avery and Kendall.

"Woody!" Kendall cried as she hugs him tight. "You're alright!"

"Did Quagmire rape you?" Avery asked.

"He almost did." Woody replied. "Any news about the case?"

"We saw the stranger, but we didn't see Gwen." Kendall replied. "But you should've seen the fight between him and Avery."

"I may have lost the battle, but I've gathered enough information that will lead us straight to Gwen, wherever she is held in." Avery replied.

"What information?" Kendall asked Avery.

"If my instincts are true, Gwen is mostly likely taken in to Baton Rouge, her old home."

"But that's miles away from Quahog. Plus we don't even know where that is."

"Uh, I hate to interrupt but," Woody spoke. "Has anyone seen Buzz recently?"

()()()()()

Backstage, Buzz saw a nerdy boy, the same one with the perfume, knocking at the stage door where he thought that might be where Marilyn, the sexy singer would be right now.

"Who is it?" Buzz heard Marilyn's voice behind the stage door.

"Your biggest fan." The nerdy boy replied. "I brought gifts."

"Again with the gifts? Have I told you that I am beyond your age? I am in no mood for quality time right now. Come back tomorrow."

The nerdy boy left and at the same time, Buzz took over from here. A part of him wanted to tell Marilyn that he's in love with her, but the other part is telling him that he need to ask her a few questions about Gwen. Buzz was nervous because he never had the nerve to make a woman love him. He is used to getting rejected by women a lot. But without hesitation, Buzz knocks on Marilyn's door.

"Who is it?" Marilyn's voice was heard.

"Umm…a buzzard who has a couple of questions to ask." Buzz replied.

"The same buzzard with the green tux and the cute derby?"

"That's the one."

"Come in."

Buzz opens the door and went inside Marilyn's room. Buzz felt nervous. A woman had never accepted Buzz's offer before. Let's just hope that he doesn't screw things up.

"Care to tell me your name?" Marilyn asked.

"It's ... Buzz Buzzard." Buzz replied, sweating. "I have some questions to ask."

"Ask away Buzz. I can wait all day."

"I was wondering if you have seen someone earlier. He wore a fedora and an oversized black coat "

"That stranger whose face is hidden beneath the darkness. Yes I have seen the stranger. But how would you know that the stranger is a he?"

"Are you saying that the stranger might be female? Like Lois Griffin?"

Marilyn gave Buzz a shocked look. Buzz is sure that Marilyn would slap him in the face, but Marilyn didn't do anything.

"Do me a favor and never mention that name to me." Marilyn told Buzz, looking serious. "I hate that woman."

"Is there a reason?" Buzz asked.

"I have an endless list of reasons, but I'll go with just a few. Lois is a bitch to everyone, even Meg, whom I think is more beautiful and nicer than Lois would ever be."

"I also hate that woman. She's the reason why Woody got dumped by Winnie for no reason."

"Plus Lois is irresponsible. She's lazy, unfit to be a mother, broke too many laws, and is spoiled rotten like a rich girl."

"Yep. She thinks she owns the world but she isn't the queen of the world anyway. Anyway next question. Did the stranger had a 13-year old red-haired girl with the stranger?"

"The girl who is also known as Gwen Axle?"

"How did you know that?"

"Instincts my good buzzard. And I'm sorry but the darkness came without a light."

"Oh."

"But the stranger did give out a few information about Gwen's whereabouts to two young girls. I believe one of them is my cousin Avery."

"Hey I know Avery. Dang I totally forgot about them. I hope they're alright."

"You better go back to them, if you want to find the light."

"I will Marilyn. I will."

But as Buzz was about to leave, a walrus was blocking his way. Buzz knew who this walrus is exactly from the top of his head.

"Wally Walrus?" Buzz cried. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here Buzzard!" Wally shouted. "And I can see that you're bothering Miss Marilyn."

"No he wasn't my good walrus." Marilyn corrected Wally. "He was only here to ask questions."

"And now I'm leaving to find Avery, Kendall and Woody before Quagmire gets his raping hands on either one of them." Buzz said as he walks away.

"Alright, but I'm keeping my eyes on you." Wally told Buzz. "Plus I'm going to follow you, just in case you've got some tricks up on your sleeves."

Buzz sighed as he made his way through the crowd and not a moment too soon, he saw Avery, Kendall and Woody.

"Where were you?" Kendall asked Buzz. "You almost ditched us."

"I was with one of Avery's family members." Buzz replied. "Her name's Marilyn."

"Did you get a chance to see the stranger and Gwen?" Avery asked.

"No, but Marilyn told me that you know where the stranger and Gwen might be."

"Right. The stranger is going straight to Baton Rouge where Gwen is being held there."

"But none of us know where Baton Rouge is." Woody replied.

"But I do." Wally replied with a smile on his face.

"Will you take us there?" Kendall asked.

"Just because I know where Baton Rouge is, doesn't mean that I should take the four of you there." Wally replied with an angry tone. "I'm not wasting my time to do that and nothing can change my mind."

But all of a sudden, the boss of the nightclub approaches Wally.

"Mr. Walrus," the boss spoke to Wally. "I'm going to inform you that you are smuggling illegal drugs in your car and that it is going to be impounded and sold for auction."

"I was not smuggling illegal drugs!" Wally shouted. "I don't even know what you're talking about. And you can't do that to my car!"

"Just for that, you're fired. Oh and good luck trying to get another job."

"What makes you say that?"

"The police are going to look for you. Try to get out of that alive."

The boss left, leaving Wally speechless and shocked. At the same time, Quagmire approaches with a black eye, and a roll of bondage tape.

"Thought you can escape me, eh babe?" Quagmire spoke to Woody lustfully. "This time we won't have any more interruptions. I'm gonna wrap you up like a mummy and we're gonna have a party together, whether you like it or not."

"Try this on for size pervert!" Woody shouted as he pecks Quagmire's nose multiple times.

"Ow that's smart!" Quagmire cried as he felt his nose.

At the same time, Woody, Kendall, Avery and Buzz make a run for it. They went pass suspicious people and made it out of Aerogun Nightclub in one piece.

* * *

><p>"Oh dear," Woody said as he looks at the clock. "It's past bedtime. You kids better get some sleep."<p>

"Will you be continuing the story tomorrow?" Knothead asked.

"We want to know how it ends." Splinter replied.

"Sure thing. After school."

Knothead and Splinter then went upstairs and went to bed. Buzz and Wally left the house as Woody also goes to bed. The story will be resumed tomorrow afternoon.

_**To be continued…**_


	29. Crimson Noir Part 2

_**Crimson Noir Part 2: The Incredible Journey**_

_**Summary: **__Kendall, Avery, Woody and Buzz managed to get out of Aerogun Nightclub alive, and they managed to find one clue – Gwen is located in Baton Rouge. But the question now is how are they going to get to Baton Rouge?_

School ended for the day as Knothead and Splinter race to Woody's house to hear the rest of Woody's story from last night. Knothead is on his skateboard while Splinter is on her roller blades. They went past the grouchy Ms. Chicarelli and her dog Oskar, Mr. Vickle who is planting roses, and Cleo Carter who is taking a walk. Then Buzz and Wally followed Knothead and Splinter to Woody's house.

"How's school kids?" Woody asked as he puts down the novel that he is reading, once he saw Knothead, Splinter, Buzz and Wally entering his house.

"We had to learn Shakespeare today." Knothead replied. "And drama."

"And worse," Splinter added. "We have to hear Brianna bragging about how cute she looks, just because she won a lot of beauty pageants."

"None of those are as good as your story." Knothead told Woody.

"Can we hear what happens next?" Splinter asked. "After you and the others got out of the nightclub in one piece?"

"We'll help too!" Buzz and Wally added.

"Alright," Woody said as he sits down. "Here's what happened after we got out of Aerogun Nightclub…"

* * *

><p>"I think we ditched that rapist." Woody said as he catches his breath and then proceeds to take off his disguise.<p>

"We sure did, but now there's one problem." Kendall replied as she puts on her normal clothes. "We still can't find a way to get to Baton Rouge and find Gwen."

"And only Wally, out of all people in Quahog, knows where that place is." Buzz told Kendall. "But he wouldn't be bothered to help us."

"Now we'll never find Gwen." Woody said sadly as a tear came down from his emerald eyes. "And I'm sure that Kat will be heartbroken if Gwen is not home safely."

"We might not see her again." Kendall cried. "I think it's best if we just give up."

"Now hold on just a damn minute!" Avery shouted as puts on her regular clothes. "Wally or no Wally, we can still go to Baton Rouge and find Gwen."

"But how do you suppose we do that exactly?" Woody asked.

"I ... I don't know."

"Oh, come off it!" Wally huffed as he approaches them, now wearing his regular clothes. "Be serious."

"I _am _serious!" Avery yelled at Wally.

"You're insane."

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I'm hiding from the law if you must know! Now if you excuse me, I'll hide in the dumpster."

"Why if we're all wiener dogs, all of our problems will be solved." Buzz told Avery.

Everyone (Wally included) stares at Buzz, with confused looks on their faces.

"What?" Avery spoke, still confused.

"Or maybe it was a basset hound." Buzz continued.

"You're _all _insane!" Wally yelled from the dumpster.

"It was in the newspaper I picked up yesterday. A dog and his master went fishing one afternoon in Hoover Creek just 2 weeks ago. The dog was chasing a chipmunk at that time when his master accidentally left him behind as he traveled back to the city. The dog had to use his wits and instincts to survive the outside world as he traveled to the city to be reunited with his master. In conclusion, he turned out to be one spunky pup."

"If a dog can do it," Avery spoke. "We can do it!"

"But the dog has four legs." Kendall reminded Avery.

"Ah don't be a blonde bimbo."

"Extra legs would help." Woody spoke.

"Brains wouldn't hurt either!" Wally shouted.

"Lay off."

"Yeah, pipe down, dumpster man." Buzz mocked Wally.

"Well, I'm going to Baton Rouge with or without you." Avery spoke again.

"I say we stay here and forget about going to Baton Rouge!" Wally barked. "Gwen can get back home to Mellowbrook."

"But what if Mr. Ivan gets to her before she can come home?" Kendall cried. "What if he does something horrible to her?"

Avery's determined face quickly fades as she saw Kendall's sad face. She really wants Gwen to come home, safe and sound.

"Well what about the rest of you?" Avery asked the remaining people.

"You girls are going to need a guide." Buzz said with pride. "Why, alone in several cities like Quahog, you wouldn't last more than five minutes out there. I was once a traveling salesman traveling from one city to another. And together we can stand against the sins, the drugs, the violence and the potential rape."

"Were you really a traveling salesman?" Woody asked Buzz.

"Sure. Ask anybody here. Ask Homer Simpson. Why, we make hundreds of dollars together in Springfield."

"Wow." Woody turns to Kendall. "Well, y'know, I was thinking, you guys are going to need someone who knows how to outwit his foes too."

"Good idea." Avery replied.

"Away we go, to places we never go, in search of Gwen Axle." Buzz cheered. "And who's there to drive a villain crazy, but Woody Woodpecker of the forest!"

Avery then noticed Wally, still hiding in the dumpster, reluctant to come.

"Y'know," Avery spoke. "We could use someone who's really ... strong!"

"And loud!" Buzz added.

"And grumpy!" Kendall added.

"And oblivious to reality!" Woody added.

Avery did nothing but give Buzz, Kendall and Woody a glare before turning back to Wally.

"Well?"

Wally thinks for a moment. Surely he doesn't want to personally help the gang, but he also doesn't want to end up getting caught by the police of Quahog. He might need all the help he can get to escape from the law. He thinks. Woody has the habit to drive his foes nuts. Buzz can scam people out of their money and scam his way out of his mess. Avery has the potential traits of being the leader while Kendall is ... Kendall.

Wally gets out of the dumpster and walks up to the gang.

"I just _know _I'm going to regret this." Wally said finally.

"Good enough." Avery replied. "We can do this either now, or get some sleep so that none of us are tired when making the journey to Baton Rouge."

"I'd say we get some rest first." Kendall replied. "Maybe we can get a hotel room for the night."

"But there might be rapists in there and we don't want either you or Avery to get raped." Buzz told Kendall. "I know where we'll sleep for the night."

* * *

><p>"Where did you guys sleep?" Knothead asked. "The dumpster where Wally was trying to hide from the cops earlier?"<p>

"No." Wally replied. "We did not sleep in the dumpster."

"In fact, we stayed at my sister's apartment for the night." Buzz told Knothead. "She was kind enough to hide Wally whenever a cop shows up at her door."

"But when dawn came," Woody continued. "Buzz's sister was nowhere to be found…"

* * *

><p>Avery, Kendall, Woody, Buzz and Wally search through the apartment to find the whereabouts of Buzz's sister. One night she was here and then when dawn broke out, she was nowhere to be found. Buzz noticed a sticky note on the fridge and out of curiosity; he takes the note and reads it.<p>

_**Brother Buzz,**_

_**The cops had become suspicious of me when I told them I have not seen a walrus fugitive on the run last night. I do not want either you or your friends to get hurt. The cops are out to get me sooner or later. Now I must run away from this wretched place and be gone forever. I don't know where I'm going to, but I'll always love you deep inside the heart. Do not worry if darkness has taken over the light. Have faith and hopes with you and soon, light will triumph over darkness.**_

_**Sincerely yours,**_

_**Faith Buzzard. **_

"Wow," Buzz spoke. "She must be really serious."

"Any sigh of your sister?" Woody asked Buzz. "Everyone else is getting worried."

"She left." Buzz replied. "She left before the cops could get to her and have her tell them about Wally."

"Should we tell the others?"

"If we tell them, Wally would blame himself for this and he may never forgive himself. It's best if we keep this our little secret."

"Alright if that's what you really want. We should go back to the gang before we disappear from their lives as well."

Buzz nodded as he and Woody went to the living room where they saw Kendall, Avery and Wally sitting on the couch.

"Any luck?" Kendall asked Buzz.

"No luck." Buzz replied. "So now what?"

"I guess it's best if we leave to Baton Rouge as soon as possible." Avery spoke. "The more we sit still and wait, the more likely that Gwen might be already in the hands of Mr. Ivan."

"I've always loved travel anyway." Woody spoke. "The open road, the smell of the wind in my face, the flies clogging up my nostrils."

"But now here's the hard part," Wally spoke. "Since my car's been impounded and auctioned off, Buzz's sister took the car with her and some of us are without a driver's license as of now, how are we going to travel?"

"Hey I got an idea!" Buzz spoke. "We can all pile up on top of the bed and then Wally could push us!"

()()()()()

At the hallway, Kendall, Avery and Woody are top of the bed as Wally is pushing. But at the edge of the stairway, Wally gives out a big push and sends the gang bumping down the staircase with the bed following them.

()()()()()

"No. That's no good." Buzz replied when his first idea failed. "Hey! What about my sister's pogo stick?"

()()()()()

The gang is on one little pogo stick. They tried to hop but they ended up hurting themselves.

()()()()()

"No, no, no." Buzz replied when his second idea failed. "Hey! How about we're in a refrigerator on a skateboard tied to Avery's bike and then Avery could pull?"

()()()()()

Wally, Buzz, Woody and Kendall managed to get themselves inside the fridge on top of a skateboard that is tied to Avery's bike. Avery tried to ride it, but the rope breaks, the fridge falls and everyone inside are hurt. Kendall is freezing since she's inside the freezer.

()()()()()

"No, no, no." Buzz replied when his third idea failed. "HEY!"

"Shut up! Shut up!" Woody yelled at Buzz.

"SHUT UP!" Avery, Wally and Kendall yelled at Buzz as well.

"Let somebody else try for a change." Woody told Buzz.

()()()()()

"Arise Hassan, arise O magic carpet…" Woody chanted as Wally, Kendall, Avery and Buzz are on a carpet. Avery and Wally exchanged annoyed looks while Kendall and Buzz are excited, thinking that Woody's plan would work.

But Avery gives in as they tried to make the carpet fly, only for them to fall from 2 stories high and injure themselves in the alley. Avery noticed the dumpster moving slowly since it has wheels below them and thought for a moment. Maybe they can travel in the dumpster. A clean, modified dumpster that is.

So the gang went to work. They cleaned the inside and outside of the empty dumpster. They put the bed mattress inside the dumpster so that they have a soft place to sit and rest. They made a little door so that they can get inside rather than climbing inside. They placed the steering wheel so that Wally, who shall be the driver since he's the biggest of the gang, can make left or right turns. When the dumpster is modified into a traveling vehicle, they tested it out, but there is one problem. The wheels won't move, nor could they go any further.

"We need a power source to travel." Woody spoke. "Like a car battery or something."

"Woody." Avery spoke to Woody. "That is the best idea we ever had."

"But how are we going to get it?" Kendall asked.

"We can borrow someone else's battery for a while." Buzz said as he takes the battery off of a random car. "I'm sure they won't mind."

Avery sighs as she powers up the battery and ties it tightly in front of the dumpster. When they tested their dumpster vehicle again, the wheels moved and the dumpster start acting like a real car. However, they came to a stop at the gateway that would lead them out of Quahog for good and take them to places until they've reach Baton Rouge.

"I guess this is it." Avery spoke.

"Once we leave Quahog, there's no turning back." Wally informed. "It's not like we're going to miss this place."

"I guess so. Okay, let's go."

Wally puts on drive and the dumpster drives through the gates. Out from the big city and into the beautiful fields of the country. It's no wonder such a beautiful view would have a terrible city like Quahog.

"Why look Woody." Buzz told Woody as he points the sun. "From here you can see the _big _light."

"Wow." Woody replied. "I wonder where her switch is."

But there's one problem. How will know if they're going the right way?

"What we need is a navigator!" Buzz cried.

"A navigator?" Woody asked.

"Why sure. I'll just signal to Baton Rouge from my navigator and we'll be on our way."

Buzz picks up his navigator and tries to get a signal. It did receive the signal to get to Baton Rouge.

"North by northwest." Buzz told the gang. "Watch out for low-flying aircraft."

As the gang made the dumpster drive again, Avery noticed a frown coming from Kendall.

"Is everything alright?" Avery asked Kendall.

"I just hope Gwen is alright." Kendall replied. "Wherever she is."

"Don't worry Kendall. A light will triumph over darkness. I just know it."

"Oh boy," Wally huffed, not caring about the talk. "You're telling me."

_**Avery:**__ Life is like a journey on a road that's within  
>Head says you should stay, but your heart says to begin<br>So you go_

_**Wally: **__But you don't wanna go_

_**Avery: **__Any life worth living  
>Isn't life just filled with ease<br>You just stay forgiving through the forest and the trees_

_**Avery and Woody: **__And you'll go  
>Just where you wanna go<em>

_**Avery, Woody, Kendall and Buzz: **__Time flies by in the city of light  
>Time stands still in the country<br>There's no time for a fuss and a fight  
>As we travel the land<em>

_**Woody and Buzz:**_ _And I'd be satisfied just to be not denied_

_**Avery, Woody, Kendall and Buzz: **__To reside with some pride  
>While I ride<br>To the city, the city of light!_

_**Woody: **__Light shines like a diamond in the city at night_

_**Buzz: **__When that diamond shines you know that everything's all right_

_**Wally: **__But you know  
>We got a way to go<em>

_**Kendall: **__Let us meet the heiress  
>We don't wanna make her wait<em>

_**Kendall and Woody: **__You just keep on knockin'  
>She will open up the gate<br>To that city of light_

_**Woody: **__Axle is a girl with a plan I can understand_

_**Avery: **__Axle is a girl of great reflection_

_**Buzz: **__Axle is a girl who lays her hand across the land_

_**Kendall: **__Axle is the girl of our affection_

_**All: **__Time flies by in the city of light  
>Time stands still in the country<br>There's no time for a fuss and a fight  
>As we travel the land<em>

_**Woody and Buzz: **__And I'd be satisfied just to be not denied_

_**All: **__To reside with some pride  
>While I ride<br>To the city, the city of light!_

Twilight emerges as the dumpster takes our gang to what seems to be the forest of dead trees. It was too thick to drive through, but the dumpster managed to find a clearing in the middle of the forest.

"Look!" Woody cried. "A clearing!"

"Great." Wally spoke as he gets out of the dumpster. "Let's spread out the blanket and have a picnic."

"But my sweater's full of stickers." Kendall whined.

"Well this dumpster's full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else. Whose idea was it to come this way, anyway?"

"Why it's the woodpecker's, I tell ya!" Buzz cried.

This made Woody angry.

"Oh yeah?" Woody shouted as he gets out of the dumpster. "Who's supposed to be the big shot navigator around here, Mr. Loudmouth? Mr. Big … LOUDMOUTH!"

"Yeah!" Wally joined in.

"Where are we anyway?" Avery asked Buzz.

"Why I-I…" Buzz tries to speak. "I don't believe we have to be here to get to Baton Rouge on time."

"Let me at him!" Wally yelled. "I'm gonna get myself some buzzard stew when this is over!"

"I'm gonna peck him in the head and give him a headache he'll never forget!" Woody yelled as well.

"Knock it off you guys!" Avery yelled. "We're supposed to be settled down and try to get some sleep."

()()()()()

Night came as the gang makes use of whatever they can find in the clearing of the forest of dead trees to get some sleep. Woody, having found a few dead leaves, fell fast asleep, but quickly woke up to see Buzz making a circle around him with Wally giving Buzz a cold look.

"This is my sleeping space, see?" Buzz told Woody and Wally. "And nobody crosses this line."

"Yeah, well, you better not try to scam your way out by dawn and leave us stranded in this spot!" Wally told Buzz.

"What are you complaining about?" Woody spoke to Wally. "You didn't do any work to find Gwen today."

"Yeah!" Buzz joined in.

Wally gives Woody and Buzz a mean look before facing Kendall who gives him a small smile.

"Go find your own place to sleep you blonde Mary-Sue." Wally said harshly to Kendall before falling asleep.

Kendall sighs as she walks away from Wally. She wants to sleep with someone other than her cat so that she won't be alone. Wally wouldn't do since he had been harsh towards her. Maybe she can get some sleep with Buzz. But she didn't notice a circle that surrounded Buzz which woke Buzz up, as well as Woody.

"Watch it!" Buzz yelled at Kendall. "Are you blind? There's a line!"

Kendall faced Woody. But all Woody can do is give her the silent treatment and went back to sleep. Maybe Avery can sleep with her, just for the night. She saw Avery sleeping peacefully, the same way Kick slept back in Mellowbrook. But when she gets a bit too close to Avery, Avery woke up and just gently shoved Kendall away.

"Geez Kendall, I'm not Kick," Avery spoke, half-asleep. "Go snuggle somewhere else. I'm trying to get some sleep. Go on."

Kendall sighs as she sits down beside a nearby tree and slept for the night. Maybe the others can be nicer to her when dawn came.

()()()()()

Dawn came as the gang went back to their route. But first, they must get out of the forest of dead trees. As they find their way out without having their dumpster being filled with twigs and who knows what else, they heard a sound. It sounded like animals. Wait. They see the light up ahead. They traveled to the light and not a moment too soon, they were out of the forest of dead trees. But now, they were in a place that is more beautiful than the suburban of Quahog.

They're in the meadow.

"It's beautiful." Kendall said as she gets out of the dumpster to smell the flowers.

"I guess we can have some time here." Wally said as the others get out of the dumpster to enjoy the view. "But after that, it's back to finding Gwen."

The gang went to their separate ways during their stay in the meadow. Kendall is being hugged and worshipped by a group of forest mice. Woody is, as usual, pecking trees and helping the beavers build their homes out of wood. Buzz is teasing and trying to get Wally to be happy, but with questionable results while Avery just sits on the grass and enjoys the view.

Up on the tree, a worm is moving quite slowly, before being grabbed by a bird that is determined to capture the helpless worm and feed him to her hungry babies. The worm managed to escape, but fell into a pond full of frogs. The frogs became attracted to the worm that they dived into the water and give chase to the worm, bypassing a red and gold puffer-fish who has a habit of singing. The puffer-fish loves to sing, but is in need of a microphone. The worm would make a good microphone. So he too gave chase to the worm, but not before the bird finally manages to capture the worm. The puffer-fish grabbed the worm by the tail and he is being lifted into the air. He made the bird let go of the worm and grabbed the falling worm. He sings, he falls into the water, and then, he swims away, letting the worm go in the process.

Avery is feeling down, but is also feeling annoyed. A group of men from Quahog are hiking somewhere near the meadow. Avery could tell that most of the men are rapists and perverts. She studied them and gives them a cold face.

The men saw Avery far away from them, all alone. In their little minds, each wants to have Avery all to himself, for lust. They walk really fast, one of them eager to get to Avery first.

Avery noticed the men's moves. She got up to her feet and quickly made a run for it. The men followed her. Avery ran into the forest and hides behind the bushes. The men also went into the forest, but none are able to find Avery. So they left and went to whatever they're doing. But Avery is unsure. If the men are truly gone, she could go back to her gang and they could continue their search for Gwen-

_What was that? _Avery thought, badly startled by something brushing her back. Spinning around, she discovered … a beautiful woman who wore a white and gold gown in the form of a flower. She was graceful looking.

_Who is she? _Avery thought curiously.

The woman's feet and dress are attached to the earth. She could not move her legs unless otherwise. Her dress was in full bloom. Avery finds herself … speechless by the flower woman's wonder, but was quickly shocked into action when the woman began to … caress her.

Now Avery felt stumped. Why would a graceful woman do that to her? Eyes wandering down and up, Avery has a somewhat appearance of a boy, and if you count the jean skirt, a boy in drag. Yes she is a total tomboy and has the same hairstyle as Kick's when his helmet is taken off and she doesn't wear feminine clothes regularly – just the jean skirt that she wore frequently.

Maybe it's the jacket that is causing the woman to think that she is a boy. Her jacket is able to reach to the bottom of her skirt which caused most female peers to think that Avery is a boy when wearing her jacket.

Gently, Avery pushed the woman away from her body.

"Oh, no, no, I'm only a human girl." Avery explained softly. "I'm not a boy."

Despite the truth, once Avery's hand left the woman's elbow, the woman was rubbing against her once more. It is clear that the woman is entirely mute. Avery panicked, not knowing what to do in this situation. A part of her was reminded of Johnny, how he always loved to play with her messy brown hair after a stunt went terribly wrong between the two. Johnny has strange ways with girls around his age; some had loved him in their own way. But Avery remembered, this woman is not an ordinary human, but a flower creature. She couldn't just stay in the same spot until the woman stops; she had to get back to her friends.

Hastily, Avery ran off to behind the other side of the bush, leaving the woman slumped behind her. But then, she did something she would later regret and cherish; she looked back.

A silver of sunlight cast itself upon the woman. Unlike before, her gown is dropped downwards and became as dull as sickness. Her beautiful blonde hair became also dropped downwards and changed from the golden yellow of sunshine to the dirt brown of waste. Blood was dripping to the ground as well. The woman had rejected the very thing that gave her life. Avery only watched as the woman gave a slight shudder, almost like a sigh as she lies on the ground, looking rather dead. She had just given up living, and it was all because of Avery.

Avery couldn't help but think of how fragile and vulnerable the woman had been. She had grown up alone, isolated from the other people who lived in towns and cities. Lonely, the woman had lived for another human being or another flower creature to come along and talk. She had waited for a friend.

Who knew how long she had stood there with her legs rooted to the ground like a plant. She suffered through, day in and day out; clinging to the hope a companion would come along. And then Avery came.

That lonely woman experienced the presence of another. She fell in love and outwardly displayed her affection, afraid that her only companion would leave, trying to deny the inevitable. And then Avery ran away.

Avery carried a heavy heart on the walk back to the meadow, where her friends are. She was the cause of complete heartbreak. She had caused a beautiful woman to die alone and in agony. She had been so harsh to it and she would never forgive herself.

On the rise of the hill, Avery sadly passed a backward glance to the clearing. As she thought about it, the woman reminded her of Kendall. The night before, she had been just as harsh to Kendall as she was to the woman. Kendall only wanted to snuggle up next to her, just for something familiar back in Mellowbrook. But Avery pushed her away, refection the girl's affection … exactly like what she did to the woman.

If she and the others continued pushing Kendall further and further away, would the same thing happen? Would Kendall die alone and afraid with nobody to comfort her? But then, Avery asked herself another question.

Would she let such a thing happen again?

Clenching her fists and closing her eyes, she thought only one word.

No.

She would never let something like that happen ever again, to anyone. No matter what, she won't lose anyone else on the journey, especially not Kendall.

She couldn't help but smile a bit. If the others wouldn't take upon themselves to be at least kind to Kendall, because of her bossy attitude towards the others in the past, she would. She would give Kendall the care and attention she really needed. She would be a friend to her, a sister perhaps. Whatever they went through, Avery would always be there for Kendall, no matter what.

And Avery wouldn't have it any other way.

()()()()()

When Avery went back to the meadow, she could see Buzz and Woody dancing while Wally just sits down and grumps all day. And then, she saw Kendall, being dragged into a hole by the forest mice. She can guess correctly that the forest mice don't want Kendall to leave. They want her to stay, forever. But Avery knew that something's wrong. The forest mice are pulling Kendall. Kendall cried in pain as she is being pulled into the hole.

"Hey!" Avery yelled at the forest mice. "You leave her alone!"

Avery grabs Kendall's hand and pulls her out from the forest mice's grip. She was lucky that Kendall is unharmed, but there was a small hole on her ebony skirt, probably because the mice thought that Kendall's skirt was black cheese.

"Thanks for saving me." Kendall said to Avery.

Avery nods as she and Kendall went back to the dumpster.

"Guys," Avery spoke to Wally, Woody and Buzz. "It's time to go."

"Finally." Wally said as he went back to driving. "Those frogs have been driving me crazy."

The gang soon leaves the meadow, waving goodbye to the forest inhabitants as the sun slowly sets to let twilight come. Following the route from Buzz's navigator, the dumpster took the gang to the forest – only this time, it wasn't full of dead trees and who knows what else. It was a real forest filled with tress that stood about 5 stories tall, but there's something more. The forest was rather spooky looking.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Avery asked Buzz.

"I'm as sure as I am honest." Buzz replied.

"In that case, we're definitely lost." Woody added.

"But there may be monsters and out-of-town rapists in there…" Kendall said nervously.

"And tigers and bears. Oh my." Woody said to Kendall.

"She's such a sissy!" Buzz said sarcastically. "Wah-wah!"

But Avery pushes Woody and Buzz aside as she comforts Kendall. Halfway through their route, Woody turns on a flashlight that has a replaceable bulb to shine a light up ahead when it became dark. However, Wally starts to feel a little down.

"What's the matter Wally?" Avery asked Wally.

"The battery's getting low and we should give it a rest." Wally replied before facing Woody. "Turn off that light."

Woody did what Wally said as the dumpster was set to park. They in the middle of the forest. How are they going to find shelter?

"Do we have to stop here in the middle of the forest?" Kendall asked Avery.

"Only for a while." Avery replied.

"Just be long enough to lose our minds!" Buzz exclaimed. "We'll be cannibals within a few days, I've seen it happened."

"And you'll be the first to go, buzzard-brain."

"Hey guys!" Woody cried. "We can stay in here! Look!"

But when Woody turns on the flashlight, he was inside a tree whose entrance and windows look rather scary and it almost resembles a monster. The others gasp as they hide behind the bushes.

"What's the matter?" Woody asked.

"Eaten alive, the poor sap." Buzz replied.

Woody turns around and aims the flashlight at the tree that he had found. He then discovers that the others were right. The tree is scary looking. He screams a woodpecker scream and runs into the bush to hide.

"Oh I thought you were a goner." Buzz said to Woody.

"Eh, you wish." Woody replied looking annoyed.

"You know guys," Avery spoke. "We are going to need _some_ kind of shelter."

"Yeah," Wally added. "_Shelter_ from the likes of them."

But this made Woody and Buzz ticked. Woody sticks his tongue at Wally.

"Come over here and say that, _fat egg_!" Buzz mocked Wally.

"What?" Wally yelled at Buzz.

"Oh sorry about that. I meant to say, _bloating walrus._"

But this made Wally even angrier. He tries to fight against Buzz. Buzz did the same. But before either one of them can lay his hand on his opponent, Avery gets in the way and keeps the two fighting animals separated.

"Look!" Woody cried which caused Avery, Buzz and Wally to stop whatever they're doing and look where Woody is looking at.

They saw Kendall setting up a tent from the blanket that she found inside the dumpster. She had found a shelter for the night.

()()()()()

Later, everyone had settled down and rest inside their homemade tent. Wally was the first to sleep, knowing that he must be pretty tired from driving all day. Buzz also fell asleep after listening to a good song on the radio that he brought along. Avery, Kendall and Woody are the last to fall asleep.

Before Avery could sleep, she gives Kendall a gentle hug.

"Thanks." Avery spoke to Kendall.

"Oh that's alright." Kendall replied as she too falls asleep.

Woody had found a couple of leaves earlier and he thought that he might use them as a pillow. It wasn't as soft as a regular pillow, but it'll do as he is very tired. He soon falls asleep, but quickly woke up to see Avery sleeping next to Kendall. He was now confused. Last night, Avery wouldn't let Kendall sleep with her. But now all of a sudden Avery is letting Kendall sleep with her. He wonders if Avery is starting to become friendlier and less stubborn to Kendall. He knew that Avery was a little harsh on Kendall ever since he taken this whole mystery case. Avery had on several occasions nicknamed her 'Kandy' but that was only to tick Kendall off. He wonders if all girls are like that, stubborn one day, friendly the next. They're pretty much as changeable as the wind.

"So … uh … what's this thing with you and Kendall?" Woody asked Avery, not wanting to sound rude.

"What thing?" Avery replied.

"You know. All of a sudden, you're being so darned _nice _to her all of a sudden."

"Oh, that. Well I was just thinking, and I got this feeling that I should be nicer to her for a change, you know. Now I feel better."

Avery gives Woody a smile. It wasn't a fake smile whenever you lie to someone. But Avery wasn't forcing herself to make a smile as well.

"Wow." Woody spoke. "That's weird."

"What's so weird about it?" Avery asked.

"I don't know. I mean, you were never this nice to her before, and now all of a sudden you're nice to her all the time, and I don't know. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to understand, trying to figure out, you know, what it all means."

"Well, it's kinda hard to describe," Avery started, her indigo eyes darted about. "It's like getting a new pair of roller skates."

Woody looks puzzled. He's a woodpecker and woodpeckers have absolutely nothing to do with roller skates. He didn't know what Avery is talking about so Avery tries again.

"Hmmm. It's, um, let's see …" Avery tried to find another answer. "It's like a sweet adrenaline when going down Widowmaker's Peak."

Okay she's getting warmer, but Woody still can't get what Avery is trying to say.

"Or … like a maple that's just …"

"A maple?!" Woody repeated.

Bingo! Avery is speaking Woody's language.

"Yeah." Avery replied.

"I think I know what you're talking about. It's like the feeling I get, when I think about my sister, Maple."

"Yeah that's it."

"I remembered the time I fell out of a tree and injured myself in from of Maple who was reading a book. She looked at me. I was injured and broke a couple of bones. She left and I thought that she was going to leave me there to die. Being the youngest and possibly the only male in the family, I cried, hoping that someone would rescue me from death. But then Maple came back with a first-aid kit and nursed me back to good health. And it felt like a maple."

"Well that's all there is to it."

"That's very interesting." Woody happily sighs as he remembers the kindness his sister had given to him when he was a very young woodpecker. He had this feeling that maybe not all girls are bad after all, even after his breakup with Winnie. Avery is quite an independent girl. Kendall may be bossy, but at least she has a heart.

"Goodnight." Woody told Avery as he quickly falls asleep.

"Goodnight." Avery replied as she too falls asleep.

_It was 8:20 AM, just a few minutes before school officially started. All the seventh graders and eighth graders are heading to History Class. Their teacher is Mr. Henry Teacherman who may be harsh and tough, but wants what's best for his students. When school started, no one was late, except for Johnny who accidentally overslept for the third time this month. Though it all seems like a full house, only one student, a female eighth grader is absent. Gwen Axle._

_"Is Gwen Axle here today?" Mr. Teacherman asked as he did the attendance._

"_Sorry I'm late Mr. Teacherman," cried Gwen as she runs inside the classroom to get her seat. "Kat was expecting me to get something for her."_

"_Thank you for the notice, Gwen." Mr. Teacherman replied. "Please take your seat."_

_Avery couldn't help but smile to see Gwen in class. Now that Gwen's safe, safe from the clutches of Mr. Ivan, the dirtiest crook in the world, everything's perfect._

_Or is it?_

_The bell rang as Avery was the last to walk out of the classroom. She would've seen the hallways being filled with children, but wait. The hallways are deserted. Not a single reckless stunt was made from Kick. Not a political announcement came from Kendall. Not a banana was dropped on the floor by accident from Gunther. Not even one experiment that went completely wrong was made from Ronaldo, or the screeching of Wacky Jackie whenever she sees Kick go by. And not even a woodpecker laugh was heard from either Knothead or Splinter._

_It's like a ghost town. Not a single form of life was there._

_And then, she heard a scream._

_She recognized that scream. It came from Gwen. She's in some kind of trouble._

_Avery was about to run and follow the sound, but had this feeling that she is flying. She looks down and discovered that she is indeed flying. This was Annabelle's doing whenever the hallways are too crowded to walk to the classroom without getting suffocated, and she should know, because in truth, Annabelle is a halfa – half human and half ghost._

_Avery instead flies to where Gwen might be and discovered that Gwen is being grabbed by a big shadowing figure, Gwen tries to escape but the figure has an iron grip._

"_Hang on!" Avery cried as she flies towards a screaming Gwen._

"_No Avery," Gwen tried to warn Avery. "Turn back."_

_But when Avery pushes the palm of her left hand forward, an energy blast was shot from her hand. Now Avery is puzzled. Has she become a halfa like Annabelle?_

_Wasting no time, Avery shoots out the energy blasts at the figure, trying to get him to release Gwen. But no matter how hard she tries, the figure would not let Gwen go. Then the figure creates a fire circle, surrounding Avery as he retreats, taking the helpless Gwen with him. Avery could not escape and can only watch as Gwen disappears right before her very eyes._

"_Turn back," Avery heard Gwen's voice. "You're not safe here."_

_The fire circle then raises its flames as Avery had another encounter with her new foe._

_Her new foe takes in in the form of a monstrous clown, one Avery could recognize from several horror movies that she used to watch with her friends. Her foe wore a ghost-hunting outfit and is holding a gun that is capable of killing any ghost, regardless of how powerful they really are._

_Then something hit her head. The clown is a ghost hunter and what do ghost hunters hunt?_

_Ghosts. Full or halfas._

_And what is Avery as of now?_

_Half-ghost._

_Then Avery panicked. The clown is going to kill her, just like how the figure was going to kill Gwen earlier. Then she heard one word that would soon haunt her in her dreams for the rest of her life._

"_Run."_

_Avery did what the clown said and made a run for it. But a wave of ectoplasm began to chase her. Avery tried shooting them away, but no matter how hard she tries, she is discovering a bit too late that she is unstable._

_All Avery could do is close her eyes and hope that this nightmare would end. But when she opens her eyes, she was hanging from a pole. She is also starting to get destabilized. She looks down and saw a pool of water directly below her. Ectoplasm falls off from her foot and landed on the water, quickly dissolving within seconds._

_Avery tries to hold on, but her arms quickly wear out and then, she falls to her possible death._

_Then there was a loud noise._

Avery quickly woke up from her nightmare. She could tell something was wrong. Her eyes snapped open just as the loudest rumble of thunder sounded overhead. The wind was picking up as she looks out into the night. The woods reminded her of the horror movies that parents would forbid their kids to watch until they are old enough to watch them.

"AAAAHHHH!"

Kendall's scream brought Avery out of her musings. Rather than being over her and the others, Kendall was right in front of Avery, all tangled up in the blanket that had come loose. Instinctively, Avery grabbed Kendall's hand. There was no way she's going to lose Kendall, the flower woman was enough.

As Avery held on, the wind drags her across the grass. Kendall was terrified, her eyes pleading.

"Don't let go!" Kendall cried.

Avery refused to let Kendall go. But the elements were against them as her hands strained to keep her grounded.

Lightning flashes around them, reminding Avery of her nightmare. The storm was just … water. Would she dissolve into nothing while trying to save Kendall?

Finally, the wind forced the girls to a cliff. Avery tries her best to hold on and gain her footing. Pain raced through her arm, but she pushed it away and focused on the yellow hair before her indigo eyes. Yellow, like the sunlight on the morning the gang left. Yellow, the color of the gloves and boots that Kick wore all the time. Yellow, like the hair color of Johnny, Gunther and Annabelle. Yellow, like the beaks of Woody and Buzz. Yellow, like the flower woman. Yellow that reminded her of lightning. A sharp twig flies across Avery and made a cut across her chest. Avery yelped in pain as she accidentally let her grip slips and that was all the wind needed.

"AVERY!" Kendall yelled as she is blown away.

Avery could only watch as the yellow went up into the trees while placing one hand on the cut. Avery couldn't believe it right before her very eyes. She's bleeding ectoplasm instead of blood. Could her nightmare be coming true?

Yellow: the color of all things she lost.

"KENDALL!" Avery shouted after her. She needed to find her; she would not have a repeat of the flower woman.

This quickly caught the attention of Woody, Buzz and Wally. They too tried to shout Kendall's name, but due to the wind making such a racket, they could not hear or receive a reply.

"Kendall!" Woody cried as well.

Woody quickly turns on the flashlight in hopes of spotting Kendall somewhere in the trees. He flies up high enough to spot Kendall, but the bulb quickly burns out. He soars down to the dumpster and plugs the flashlight to the battery to get it working, but not a single spark came to recharge the flashlight. Wally became shocked, more shocked than having to face the cops back in Quahog.

"The battery's gone dead!" Wally cried.

"We're trapped here like rats!" Buzz added. "Small little rats with no hair and one leg."

"KENDALL!" Avery shouted once more. "Kendall!"

"Kendall!" Wally cried as well. "Where are you, you blonde Mary-Sue?"

Woody could only stay in his spot as Avery, Wally and Buzz tried to look for Kendall in the dark woods, without any source of light. Then he discovers that there was something else he could do. Get more power. Not only would the gang have enough power to get out of here, they'd be able to cover more ground in their search for Kendall.

He had learned from his sister, Maple, that lightning was made out of electricity, and Woody knew that most appliances like a flashlight ran on electricity ... but how could he get the lightning to power his friends?

The battery.

No. He couldn't! That would be suicide, even for a male woodpecker like him. Was he really and truly willing to die for his friends?

_No, you're not! _A part of Woody argued. _Go with them! You can find Kendall without the battery._

But Woody knew that wasn't the right way to think. His father had once told him this statement.

_Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends._

If this could apply to humans ... why not a woodpecker?

But what should he really do? He looks at the others in sadness, and then he got determent. He knows what he has to do. He grabs the car battery charger, connects it to the battery and then flies up high in the air to get the lightning to recharge the battery while hooking the charger onto the flashlight. He's using himself as a lightning rod. He knew that this was suicidal but it has to be done. He gave his friends one last glance, hoping that they'd be able to find Kendall. The he turns his sights back towards the sky.

The dark thunderclouds gathered above the woodpecker, and he shivers. He watches as the clouds parted and a beam or lightning shot down and hits Woody. It hurts, but he could feel it traveling into the battery, which is a good thing.

_OW! Make it stop! _Woody though as intense pain flows through his entire body in mid-air. He wants the pain to stop and die right in mid-air, but he could still feel the battery powering up. He had to keep going. The electricity kept flowing, pulsating through the woodpecker. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and he never want to feel it again, if he can help it.

Then the bulb of the flashlight that was in his hands exploded, sending sharp pieces right through his arms and across his upper chest.

Down below, Avery, Wally and Buzz noticed this and is shocked to see Woody getting caught by lightning. Avery had already lost Kendall; there is no way she's going to lose Woody.

"WOODY!" Avery cried.

There was nothing the remaining friends could do but watch as the lightning stops zapping at Woody, leaving the woodpecker to fall into the earth, injured very badly. The friends quickly ran to Woody's side and are depressed. He used the flashlight _and _himself as a lightning rod. He placed 3rd degree burns all over his body. His arms are badly injured from having to hold onto the flashlight. Why? Why did he decide to do it? Was it so important to him that he help his friends even if it means risking his own life so that the others could continue on their journey to find Gwen? Possibly without him? Since when did Woody become so selfless?

Then they noticed that the battery is fully recharged as the rain stops shortly after what it had happened. Woody did this to recharge the battery so that they can continue to find Gwen.

Buzz pondered some of his thoughts in silence. The usual con artist sat quietly next to the unconscious woodpecker in question who had given so much for them and received so little. It wasn't fair that the normally crazy but father-like woodpecker had to resort to something so drastic in order to save them all. How could he ever repay him for everything he'd done for them when he wakes up? Ifhe wakes up.

"How is he?" Avery asked quietly, walking up to the buzzard, a sad, worried expression on her face.

"Same as before." Buzz answered shortly.

He had tried to sound indifferent, as if he really wasn't worrying his blood pressure to a cold temperature when the crazy woodpecker would regain consciousness. He was ashamed to admit it, but it would be quite embarrassing for him if he let his guard down to the others by admitting that he was actually worried for Woody. Who else would he have to con him out of whatever money he might bring along and joke with him with his endless jokes about almost everything from the underwear joke to the jokes about fat people in Quahog?

"I really don't like the looks of this." Avery remarked sighing deeply.

The guilt was etched so deeply in the Mexican girl's indigo eyes; it actually pained Buzz to even look at their leader. No doubt Avery felt this whole thing was her fault. Not that it was, but Buzz knew how sensitive she could be.

"We need to find Kendall." Wally stated, breaking the tense silence and getting behind the wheel of the dumpster, then looking at Avery. "Oh and we need to fix you up missy."

"Wally's right." Buzz told Avery. "You're starting to lose too much blood, as if this _is _blood."

Avery had almost forgotten about her injury. She could see a big green stain on her white t-shirt. She was so busy trying to find Kendall and being so worried about Woody after what he did during the storm, that the ectoplasm made a big stain on the t-shirt.

"Don't worry." Buzz said as he pulls out a first-aid kit. "We'll fix you right up with bandages."

Avery sighs as she takes off her jacket and her stained shirt.

"Um … can I do this in private?" Avery asked Buzz.

Buzz nods as he hands the first-aid kit to Avery who then went behind the bush to stop the cut from bleeding. Moments later, Avery returns with bandages wrapped around her chest, stopping the ectoplasm from bleeding. She puts back on her stained shirt and jacket and gives Buzz the first-aid kit.

"Now we need to fix Woody." Avery told Buzz. "Before he loses too much blood as well."

Buzz nods as he starts putting bandages on some parts of Woody's body where they are injured the most.

"But what about Woody?" Buzz asked Wally. "We can't just leave him there in the middle of the woods and rot to death."

"What about him?" Wally snapped sounding irritated in an attempt to hide the worry and anxiety he actually felt. "We'll take him with us, of course!"

"When do you think he'll wake up?" Avery asked staring at the bits of blood scattered around Woody's body.

"How should I know? Who knows how much power he absorbed! He may not wake up at all!" Wally answered harshly, turning away from the others in annoyance.

Buzz looks at Wally, sad expression crossed his face, the words stinging him like knives.

"Yeah, how should any of us know, really?" Buzz added drearily.

Wally had immediately regretted his words after that. He did not mean it to sound so final. Heck, he didn't mean it at all. It was just his nature to always sound cross towards other, like how Kendall used to be in the past. He was just used to it. He never expressed any emotions like love, kindness or joy to anyone, ever. Just because the crazy woodpecker had gone and decided to be a hero did not mean he was entitled to start acting like he really cared about him. Despite the fact that he did not care. A lot. And the ugly reality that Woody hadn't woken up after two hours created a dread as heavy as a 300 lb. man that lay uncomfortably inside his body. Wally hated that feeling of anxiety. It made him feel powerless. Helpless.

There was an uncomfortable long silence following Wally's hurtful words. Avery was about to say something when a sudden soft groan caught everyone's attention. Wally spun around, perhaps a little too quickly, earning him a light jab from Buzz.

"You were saying?" Buzz said with smugness in his tone.

Wally huffed.

"Woody! Woody, can you hear me?" Avery asked as she leaned down close to Woody, Buzz right beside her.

Another audible groan rang through the air. All eyes were immediately back on the woodpecker as his eyes slowly fluttered open to the bright sunlight morning.

"I think … the battery … is working now." Woody mumbled blearily, his eyes red and his vision swimming, his friend's face gradually becoming clearer in the white light.

"Glad to see you're awake! How do you feel?" Avery asked gently, waiting for the woodpecker to answer.

"I've been better." Woody joked before a sudden coughing fit overtook him, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut as the damage to his body momentarily overwhelmed him.

"Easy now. Don't push yourself. You've been through a lot." Avery replied.

"You gave us a real scare chum," Buzz told Woody. "I was almost certain that lightning did you in."

"I never knew you had that in you Woody." Avery said proudly, smiling at Woody.

"Had what?" Woody asked in confusion, looking at the Mexican girl. His mind was still in a blur and his memory was a little fogged.

"What you did back there; it was very brave." Avery explained gently.

"Indeed it was." Buzz added. "Why if I were you, I would've done the same thing."

Wally snorted at Buzz's bold declaration.

"You? You would've hid in the bushes before risking your beak to recharge the battery, you big show-off!" Wally grumbled.

Avery chucks while Woody rubs his aching head with his injured arm.

"Did I really …" Woody started his eyes wide in disbelief, the whole ordeal slowly coming back to him like it was some kind of strange dream rather than reality.

"Risk your life for us?" Avery finished with a knowing smile.

"You bet your fried feathers you did!" Buzz exclaimed hopping over to the stunned woodpecker and pointing dramatically at the burnt cerulean feathers making Woody look at it in surprise, realization slowly dawning in his burned body.

"Wow." the small exclamation of wonder causing Avery and Buzz to laugh.

Wally shook his head feigning annoyance but was really trying to hold in his own mirth at their simple-minded friend's disbelief that he could do something so heroic.

"As much as I hate to say it, without you, we'd be stuck here." Wally grumbled seriously but with complete honesty looking Woody straight in the eye as he spoke.

"And we are forever grateful to you, Woody!" Avery added placing a hand over her chest in a half bow.

Buzz followed suit expressing his gratitude in a more exuberant manner, throwing his derby across his chest and bowing deeply until he was almost touching the ground.

"And I thank you graciously kind sir, from the bottom of my heart! If I actually have one." Buzz joked lifting his head at the corny punch line.

Woody let out a full-hearted laugh.

"Thanks, guys. It sounds weird, especially coming from you Wally, but thanks." Woody said looking to the gruff walrus with respect.

Wally mumbled something indistinct before turning away suddenly finding the fresh air very interesting. Woody smiled watching the walrus turn away in obvious embarrassment. He was feeling much better than before and much more alert of his surroundings. That was when he finally noticed that something was amiss.

"Hey, where's Kendall?" Woody asked his smile faltering slightly, Kendall's absence suddenly being noticed for the first time since he woke up.

"Oh, I'm sure she's around here someplace." Avery replied lightly not wanting to cause Woody any unnecessary anxiety to compound his injuries further.

"Well, might as well start looking for her." Wally stated setting the dumpster on drive, waiting for Avery and Buzz to help Woody up inside the dumpster before taking off to find their missing companion.

"Kendall? Kendall where are you?" Avery cried. "Kendall?"

"C'mon Kendall," Woody spoke. "Speak up for Kick's sake!"

But a sudden coughing fit overtook him, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut as the damage to his body momentarily overwhelmed him. This time, bits of ectoplasm came out from his beak.

"No, no, just relax." Avery motions Woody to lie down. "You've done enough. We'll take over from here."

"I am feeling a little sick." Woody noted.

"Say Avery," Buzz spoke quietly to Avery, with a worried expression on his face. "You don't think that …"

"…he's starting to become a halfa, because he coughed out ectoplasm instead of blood?" Avery quickly finished the question. "Just like how I bled ectoplasm instead of blood last night?"

"It could only mean a sigh."

"Help!" cried a familiar female voice from a distance. It was Kendall's voice.

"Hey," Avery spoke quietly to the others. "Listen."

"Help me please! Avery! Wally! I'm stuck!"

"I hear her." Avery spoke.

"But I don't see her anywhere." Woody spoke quietly.

"Maybe she's calling from Heaven." Buzz suggested. "She's a perky little angel, with a pointy nose."

"She's just stuck in a tree, that's all!" Wally huffed. "Look!"

The others look up and true to Wally's words; they saw Kendall hanging onto a branch, high up on the tree.

"Help!" Kendall cried again.

Wally grabs a really long rope from under the mattress, throws it high enough to get over the branch that Kendall is stuck in and ties it around the dumpster. He then ties the other end of the rope around his body and then, he starts climbing to Kendall.

"Hang on tight, Kendall!" Avery called out to Kendall.

"I am!" Kendall yelled back.

"Don't let the tremendous height scare you." Buzz joked.

Kendall looks down and closes her eyes shut, believing Buzz's words. However, she opens her eyes when Wally is a few centimetres closer to her. Being a little brave, Kendall lets go of the branch and lands on Wally, her hair blocking Wally's vision. Because of this, Wally lets go of the rope which caused him and Kendall to fall from such a height. They thought that they were going to die, but the rope however saves their lives. They were about one inch away from the ground, leaving Wally to get onto his feet and untie the rope.

"That was kinda awesome." Kendall spoke for the first time.

"Now get off of my face!" Wally shouted.

"Thanks Wally." Avery spoke as she, Woody and Wally got out of the dumpster.

"Great idea Wally." Woody spoke as well.

"And as I suspected, this was warm-hearted and brave." Buzz said before Wally gets Kendall off of him.

"Now just cut that out all of you!" Wally barked. "I only did it so that we can be on our way! We're wasting time!"

The others could only watch as Wally heads back to the parked dumpster.

* * *

><p>"Then what happened?" Knothead asked Woody. "Did you get to Baton Rouge and find Gwen?"<p>

"The rest of our journey had proven to be a lot more challenging than what we have expected before." Woody replied.

"As in this case, there was the time when we came across a huge waterfall." Wally told Knothead and Splinter.

"We could've gone to another route," Buzz explained. "But according to my navigator, going across the waterfall is the only way to get to Baton Rouge."

"Did you make it across?" Knothead asked.

"You'll just have to listen and find out." Woody replied. "Here's what happened…"

* * *

><p>Avery, Kendall, Woody, Buzz and Wally approach the waterfall. It was the biggest waterfall you could have ever imagined. Just the sight of it freaks Wally out, despite the fact that he is a walrus. He shifts the dumpster into park, pulls out the extension cord and tries to swallow it. This scares the others. It's an attempted suicide.<p>

"Wally!" Avery cried. "No!"

"Get the cord out of his mouth!" Woody screamed. "Don't let him swallow it!"

"Knock him out!" Buzz cried as Avery grabs her gun, unloaded, and knocks Wally out cold.

Several minutes later, Woody, Buzz and Kendall could only watch as Avery tries to recover Wally from his sudden seizure.

"He just passed out." Woody spoke quietly.

"Cracked up and snapped." Buzz replied. "He sold the farm and pulled up the daisies. Poor chap."

"How does he look?"

"A lot better than you, actually. Keep it up Buttowski!"

"Hey guys!" Avery cried. "I think it's working!"

The others came to where Avery and Wally are, and they circled around the unconscious walrus.

"Wally!" Avery cried. "Wally can you hear me?"

"Wake up," Kendall cried. "Wally."

Then all of a sudden, Wally opens his eyes. He saw the others cheering, knowing that he's alright. But instead of being happy, Wally is angry.

"Lay off!" Wally yelled as he pushed the others aside. "Just lay off!"

"What's the matter?" Avery spoke, looking worried.

"We were worried about you." Woody added.

"You have us real scared there, pal." Buzz added.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with me, pal!" Wally yelled at Buzz. "Just back off!"

"Don't be angry." Kendall spoke softly.

"Just keep your hands, paws and claws off my body! Who needs you guys anyway? Gotta drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight! I'd be better off without you!"

"But Wally…"

"Especially _you_, you little brat!" Wally yelled directly at Kendall.

There was a small pause after hearing Wally's hurtful words. Wally looks at the waterfall, then at his friends.

"So, uh … how do we get across this thing anyway?" Wally asked.

()()()()()

A few minutes later, Avery, Buzz, Woody and Kendall have tied the ropes around their waists, while being connected to the empty dumpster, which is connected to Wally.

"I think Moe did this once," Buzz spoke. "And if I remember right, he was out of the hospital in no time."

"Well that's encouraging." Woody noted.

Avery took a look down below her and in one second, she closes her eyes tight. It was a long way down from here and this could mean instant death. Then she remembered something.

Her nightmare from last night. There was a part where she was hanging from the pole for her dear life and just below here was a pool of water. Then she remembered being a halfa and that she was destabilized. She was melting quickly and then she remembered falling to her death and being dissolved into nothing.

"Okay Wally." Avery told Wally who then preceded his part of the plan. He shakes the ropes which then creates a swing, letting Avery reach to the edge of the other side. Avery managed to grab the edge of the other side and plunges herself up. She holds the rope firmly.

"Hey." Woody cried. "We're not dead!"

"Knock some wood onto your senses, woodpecker." Buzz replied before facing Avery. "Avery! You okay?"

But Avery then starts to have problems. The waterfall is making her paranoid. Would she end up falling to her death, dragging her friends with her?

"Avery!" She heard the buzzard's voice.

"Yeah … I, um …" Avery tries to speak before coming to her senses and facing Wally who is at the other side. "Give me some slack, Wally!"

Wally lends Avery more rope so that her friends and the dumpster could get to the other side safely. Avery gets paranoid again, but quickly recovers. But she ends up letting go of the rope that is tied around her waist. She falls, along with her friends and the dumpster that are connected to her. They screamed as they fall into the waterfall.

But Wally however, remained on the cliff. Despite being connected, the rope has snapped, due to the dumpster's weight. He is too late to save his friends from falling into the waterfall. A part of him told him that since his friends are gone, he wouldn't have to drag them along all the time.

_Leave them. _A part of Wally told him. _They're useless anyway. You can go on to Baton Rouge without them._

But Wally knew that wasn't the right thing to do. He knew that his friends are alive, somewhere in that waterfall. He knew that they have a reason to go to Baton Rouge in the first place – to find Gwen and bring her home back to Mellowbrook to stop the others closest to her from worrying too much. He saw a note floating in the air. It must've fell out of Buzz's pockets just before Buzz fell into the waterfall. He grabs it and reads it. This was the same note Buzz's sister had wrote just before she disappeared. He carefully studies the sentences as tears rolled down from his eyes.

Buzz's sister is telling him to not give up so soon. There's always a second chance in life. Wally puts the note in his pockets, grabs the mattress and then made a run for it at the edge. Once he makes it to the edge, he jumps and falls into the waterfall.

He's going to find his friends before someone else could. The mattress floats across the rapids of the river. Wally kept his eyes open in case he sees someone. From a distance, he saw a flash of golden hair. That can only mean one thing.

Kendall is alive.

Wally makes the mattress sail fast enough for him to reach Kendall, and by the time Kendall gets on the mattress, he saw Woody trying to swim for his life. What's different is that the bandages were gone, plus the fact that Woody's feathers are molting.

"Give me your hand!" Wally cried as he reached out his hand to Woody. "Before you lose all your feathers!"

Woody did exactly what Wally said as he is being pulled up to the mattress. He stops molting as well.

"Damn thee accursed whale! By the depths of Hell I stabbeth thee!" yelled a voice, quoting a sentence from _**Moby Dick.**_

The others turned around and saw Buzz poking his navigator at Wally, thinking that he is a whale.

"Climb on, you idiot!" Wally yelled at Buzz.

"Oh it's you." Buzz replied as he climbs up to the mattress.

There's one person missing. Avery.

"Where's Avery?" Wally asked.

"She sank." Woody answered Wally's question.

Just then, they scream as they face and fall from another waterfall. Seconds later, they saw Avery swimming underwater, and despite the fact that it is giving her a bath, the green stain on her shirt remains unaffected.

"Boy, are we glad to see you!" Buzz spoke to the others as Kendall gets Avery up on the mattress.

"I thought for sure I'd turned in my warranty that time." Woody added.

"Until Wally here showed up!"

"I just slipped and fell in. That's all." Wally replied.

This made the others laugh at Wally's statement.

"Oh, yeah, sure, right." Woody cried.

"You can't fool us." Kendall said as she hugs Wally. "We love you."

"That's right," Buzz added. "Like Marge Simpson loved her children and husband."

"Yeah, yeah." Wally replied as the mattress then floats into the shore. "Well, here's the shore. Everybody off."

As everyone gets off the mattress, Buzz picks up a leaf and puts it on Wally's mustache.

"For saving everyone from a watery death, I'm awarding you the medal of honor!" Buzz exclaimed with pride.

Buzz blows the leaf off and everyone else laugh. But Avery wasn't laughing. In fact, she feels depressed. The mattress had taken them into a swamp. How will they get to Baton Rouge now?

"Where are we?" Avery asked as she takes a few steps forward to the swamp forest, then looking at her friends. "I'm really sorry, you guys."

"Oh come on it's not your fault." Buzz tried to cheer Avery up as she continues on walking. "Things could be worse you know."

"How?" Woody asked Buzz.

"How what?" Buzz replied to Woody.

"How could they be worse?"

"They couldn't; I lied."

()()()()()

Avery sat down near the river as she gloomily looks at her reflection in the water. How could things get worse from having to escape from the hellish city of Quahog to actually getting lost, and not knowing where to go next? And what's worse, she saw her own reflection changing into something that Avery thought she wasn't in the first place.

A halfa who wore a white poncho over a black jumpsuit and a beige cowgirl hat.

Angered at this, Avery splashes the water with one hand and looks away from the water. She is a freak, and a failure. She had failed to get to Baton Rouge. She had failed to find Gwen. She had a green stain on her shirt. She almost lost Kendall and Woody during the storm and now all of the things that had happened in the last few days are entirely her fault.

She knew she didn't deserve to be an honorary cop in the first place. She should've thrown the badge into the water, but she didn't. She kept it with her, knowing that if she would get back to Mellowbrook one day or another, she would surrender her badge to the cops.

()()()()()

Sometimes later, Avery, Buzz, Woody and Kendall have their waists tied with ropes and are connected to Wally as suggested by Kendall. She thought that this plan would work since Wally is the slowest walker in here and if he stops and falls, the others would not be able to go far, thus not leaving him behind.

Buzz however his having troubles trying to get a signal to get to Baton Rouge.

"Did you find anything?" Woody asked Buzz.

"I'm lucky that the navigator's working, since this whole waterfall thing." Buzz replied. "But unfortunately, it won't give us a signal to get to Baton Rouge."

"Well I just hope we're not going in circles." Avery spoke. "C'mon."

As the gang walk to their apparent direction, Wally trips over a puddle of mud and falls into a quicksand, sinking in the process as the others tried to get him out of it.

"I knew this plan wasn't a good idea!" Wally yelled as he continues sinking.

"C'mon!" Avery cried as she and the others pulled their ropes. "Pull!"

But no matter how hard they tried, Wally continues to sink.

"Oh, this is great fun! Let's make these outings a regular thing, okay?"

"Wally!" Avery cried. "Untie yourself!"

"Help me!" Wally cried as he is finally sinking into the quicksand.

Now the others are going to sink. Woody was the first to sink slowly.

"Wow, the poor guy didn't have a chance." Woody spoke sadly as he is slowly sinking. "Just _fmmp _and that's it."

"Well don't look now woodpecker! You're about to _fmmp _yourself!" Buzz warned Woody as he struggles to remain on the surface.

Woody realized too late that he is now sinking to the bottom. And before he knew it, he was already sinking into quicksand, just before releasing a woodpecker scream. Avery and Kendall are next to sink.

"Can you let go?" Avery told Kendall as she is sinking. "Try to untie yourself."

"I'm not scared." Kendall replied as she is soon sinking into the quicksand.

Avery tries to call Kendall's name before she too realized that she is now sinking into the quicksand. Buzz is the last one to sink, losing a little bit of consciousness in the process. But before he is fully under the sand, the next thing he knew is that a fat, balding man who wore a white and green jumpsuit pulled him, and his friends out of the quicksand. Although Buzz is half conscious, his friends are fully unconscious.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" the fat man spoke happily as he placed Buzz and his unconscious friends in the back of his truck. "Two young girls and three animals with human DNA. They must be ghosts, so I better take them back to my place with the other ghosts I've collected earlier."

After placing the gang inside his truck, the fat man then went inside his truck and drove off from the swamp to his destination – his store where he sells different kinds of ectoplasm. He carries the gang's bodies from his truck and puts them aside in his private office where the other ghosts are. Some are unconscious while some are more curious about their newest visitors.

When the fat man left his office, just after he heard a bell in which a customer is here, the gang regained consciousness and look at their surroundings. They're inside an office where they could see dissecting tools, jars full of ectoplasms, and ghosts – some are full while some are halfas.

"Seems like a nice place," Buzz spoke for the first time since the encounter with quicksand. "Creepy but nice."

Just then, they heard laughter. It sounded almost like a woman's laughter, in a menacing way. They looked up and saw a young girl, no older than 14 years old. She has dirty blond hair, feathered styled, pale skin with a musical note on her left cheek that serves as a beauty mark, and exotic, catlike eyes that are green and blue. She wore an oversized, indigo 17th century coat, black tights and brown boots.

"Who are you?" Kendall asked the young girl.

"Forgive me for being a little rude since your arrival," replied the young girl as she hovers towards the gang. "The name's Isis. Isis Buttowski."

"You're a Buttowski?"

"Just like everyone else in here."

"Relatives of yours?" Kendall asked Avery.

"Might be distant cousins or something." Avery replied.

Isis however, noticed the constant molting coming from Woody and the green stain on Avery's shirt. She smiles, in an evil way as if this caught her interest.

"I see that the two of you are _halfas,_" Isis spoke softly to the gang.

"And how would you know which two of us are halfas?" Wally questioned Isis.

"I can tell by instincts. One, your woodpecker friend is losing his feathers, which is a sigh of being unstable, for bird ghosts like him."

"He's unstable?" Avery asked Isis. "How do we make him stabled?"

"You can make him stabled by using the Ecto Dejecto, but such a device can be very rare. Fortunately, the owner of this place, Dell St. Pete has plenty stored inside."

Isis flies towards a box that is located at the very back of the room. Inside is a boxful of Ecto Dejectos. She grabs one and then flies towards Woody who is shivering from the cold.

"Now this won't hurt a bit," Isis told Woody. "It's going to hurt a lot."

Isis then sprays the Ecto Dejecto directly at Woody. He screams, though not loud enough to get St. Pete's attention. A few minutes later, Woody has a feeling that his feathers aren't molting anymore. He is now a stabled halfa.

"Use your powers in good health." Isis warned Woody. "While you _still _can."

"I have just one question." Kendall spoke to Isis. "How did you and the others get here in the first place?"

"It wasn't that long ago, me and my relatives were just having fun. We would fly across the globe, meet new people and gain experiences as halfas. Why, while we tend to pull pranks on other people, since they are not halfas like we are, we would try to live peacefully with both full ghosts and humans. But then, one by one we were captured by the Guys in White."

"The Guys in White?" Avery said in shock. "Aren't they the same Guys in White that tried to eliminate all ghosts and capture Danny Phantom?"

"That's the one. Anyway, as we are taken in to the government's secret lab, the boss has made a clear and sharp note that the Guys in White have no information on us halfas. Because of this, we were shipped to an individual scientist who _actually _has information on halfas – Dell St. Pete."

"What was St. Pete like?" Buzz asked.

"St. Pete is quite an amusing fellow. He wouldn't even dare to destroy us because he had learned one rule about halfas – if one half gets destroyed, the other half goes along with it."

"In English please?" Kendall asked.

"If the ghost half is destroyed, the human or animal half gets destroyed as well." A voice was heard from the shadows of the office. The gang turned around and saw another young girl. Only this time, she looked 13. Her reddish-brown hair is short and wavy, tied into a blue-violet fan-like bow, her eyes are marbled blue, her skin is just as pale as Isis' but she lacks one thing – a nose where her Band-Aid is located. She wore a blue-violet shirt under a black leather jacket, blue jeans which reached down to her lower knees and a pair of black and violet sneakers.

"Forgive her for being rude." Isis told the gang. "This is Amelia, another halfa who lost a nose during an encounter with a ghost hunter in a gang town."

"And I couldn't find a replaceable nose ever since." Amelia made a note.

"Are there any more of you in this room?" Wally asked.

"Quite so." Isis replied.

Then out of the blue, a young boy flew right beside Amelia. He wore a long, black lab-coat over a blue t-shirt, grey jeans, and a pair of red and white sneakers. He has green eyes, a small clown-like nose, and wore a light bulb in the form of a hat, in which the gang could see his brains.

"This is Jim." Isis introduced the boy to the gang. "He came here after St. Pete found him dying in the junkyard, with his head cracked open to reveal his brains."

Then a young man walks beside Jim. It looks like he might be still going to college. He wore a white lab coat over a black t-shirt, blue jeans, a pair of walking shoes and glasses. He has pale blue eyes, brown nerd-like hair which is tied in a ponytail and bits of hair growing on his chin.

"And this is Drake. He was caught trying to steal something from the lab, that he was at first sent to the Guys in White for punishment, but since he is a halfa, he was placed in here to be rehabilitated."

Then a young teenage boy flew beside Drake. His outfit is more exotic as he wore an Egyptian outfit. His skin is much darker than the others, but he has cat-like scars all over his face and body, green eyes, a small brown beard and short, wavy brown hair.

"He I believe is called Jaguar. He was caught by the locals for trying to free helpless animals back in Africa."

Then another young girl flew beside Jaguar. She wore a white sweater with a yellow stripe across, blue jeans, a pair of black, fingerless gloves, goggles and a pair of ski boots. She has peachy skin and short, dark brown bobcat hairstyle.

"This is Joan. She was caught in an avalanche in Germany which result her to become a halfa. Afterwards, she was frozen in Russia where St. Pete did his research there. He saw her frozen body and took her back home where he managed to revive her."

Then another young girl walks beside Joan. She wore a pale blue jacket, black tights, maroon boots, maroon helmet with a black stripe and goggles. Her hair is medium length and puffy and her skin is peachy.

"This is Louise. Got arrested by the Guys in White for foiling their plans to kill an innocent ghost in the big city. Like Drake, Louise was sent here to be rehabilitated."

Afterwards, a sexy, adult woman flew right beside Louise. She wore a pink daredevil jumpsuit, complete with golden gloves, golden boots and a golden belt. She has blue eyes and her hairstyle is just the same as Isis' only instead, her bangs are pushed forward, rather than sideways. She also has a green gem on her forehead

"This is Daisy. She almost got raped by a certain rapist back in Quahog, and was caught by the Guys in White while performing a stunt in a local nightclub. But she was put to here because she made all the other government agents go crazy and unfocused."

Then a muscular, red-haired, green-eyed man walks towards Daisy. He wore a black sweater, blue jeans and a pair of green combat boots.

"This is Jam. He was mistaken for a local robber, so he came here to hide from the law, only to be forced to stay by St. Pete's demands."

Then a fat, Chinese man flew towards Jam while making a delicious stew. He wore a maroon Chinese robe, a Chinese hat and a bow that ties around his braid.

"Tai-Changa loves to make delicious stew and feed them to the poor and needy in the streets of Beijing. One day, one of the royal Chinese guards seized him and the cruel and wicked Emperor had him banished to America for making the people's lives happy. While in America, he was captured by the Guys in White, but due to his sudden obesity, he was sent here until he would lose at least 30 pounds."

And last but not least, a tall, pale woman few beside Tai-Changa. Her body is skinny and covered in scratches and scars. She wore a white nightgown which is sleeveless. Her wavy hair is a sickly color of brown, tied in a high ponytail.

"Forgive me for poor Victoria's appearance. She had been caught by the Guys in White numerous times and had been dissected alive numerous times. She is very mute. She's been losing ectoplasm every day and we are certain that she may die in a few days if she doesn't get enough ectoplasm very soon."

Isis then flies towards Avery, circling around her with interest.

"And you, _Cousin _Avery, are one of us."

"Me? One of you guys?" Avery replied. "I don't think so."

"Oh, but this is true. We know that you're a Buttowski and we know that you're a halfa. Just like us."

"We can even see the green stain on your shirt." Jim pointed out.

"It proves that you've been bleeding ectoplasm." Drake added. "If a human bleeds ectoplasm instead of blood, that _proves_ that he/she is a halfa."

"Whether you were born with ectoplasm, or received one from accidents." Jaguar told Avery. "Either way, you would still qualify as a halfa."

Just them everyone stops talking as they heard St. Pete's voice talking to a customer. Everyone went to their positions and sit still.

"Hello St. Pete." Said a customer. "I am in need of Australian ectoplasm."

"Ha, ha, ha, Australian ectoplasm?" St. Pete laughed. "Why sure I have a shipload of them last week."

But in the shop, one halfa, an Australian man who is in his early 30s became shocked. So shocked that he hid under the desk. He knew that St. Pete is lying, and he knew that _his_ ectoplasm type is Australian.

"Oh boy," the customer spoke again to St. Pete. "Heaven had sent you to me."

"How much ectoplasm do you want?" St. Pete asked the customer.

"Three jarfuls at least. I'll need them to impress my new girlfriend."

This time, Woody, despite being quite, gasped after hearing the customer's voice. He had heard his voice before, and he is shocked to think about whom the voiced belonged to.

Winnie's current boyfriend – Wellsley Woodpecker.

"I'll get the Australian ectoplasm within a flash." St. Pete answered to Wellsley as he walks inside his office.

While inside, he heard a shivering noise coming from under his desk. It was the Australian halfa.

"There you are!" St. Pete cried as he drags the Australian halfa by the hand. "I found you."

As he hooks the halfa onto the experimental table, he moves Avery, Kendall, Wally, Woody and Buzz to the small, worn-out couch. Since Wally is obese, he'll have to stand beside the couch or sit on the floor in which he did the former. The gang and the other halfas watch as St. Pete approaches the halfa, who is struggling for his life from the belts that were strapped around him. St. Pete then puts the gas mask on the halfa, making him lose consciousness in the process. With the halfa put to sleep, St. Pete then pulls out a cabinet full of dissecting tools, and begin dissecting the unconscious halfa.

Avery, Kendall, Woody, Wally and Buzz are _horrified_ to see what St. Pete is doing to the halfa. He had an evil smile as he sliced the halfa's chest open to reveal his organs and green ectoplasm. Thinking that the halfa would really need enough ectoplasm to live, and since the approximate amount of ectoplasm needed for the halfa to live are about three jarfuls, St. Pete had little choice but to pull out the halfa's green heart, thus _killing_ the halfa in the process. Afterwards, he starts taking out the halfa's other organs and then placed them in separate jars. When that is finished, he then sucks all the ectoplasm from the halfa's body to three separate jars and then places a price tag on each.

He takes the three jars of ectoplasm with him and leaves the office, while the gang saw the remains of the halfa. Is this what St. Pete is doing behind everyone's back? Killing innocent halfas just to sell ectoplasm and make money? This guy's sick _and_ twisted.

"Boy those were the last three left!" St. Pete's voice was heard outside his office. "You're some lucky woodpecker."

The office was in silence again, before the menacing laughter of Isis spread across the room.

"You see? You never quite know what he's going to do!" Isis taunts the gang. "He's quite spontaneous."

"W-w-well, how do we escape?!" Woody asked Isis.

Upon hearing Woody's question, Isis flew right towards the other halfas.

"Did you hear that cats? They want to know _how _to escape!" Isis then bursts into laughter.

Hearing what Isis had told them, the other halfas laughed with Isis as well. The gang didn't know it, but the halfas knew that it's impossible to escape, from St. Pete. They've been there far longer than the gang and they knew what it's like to be a prisoner in a jail cell.

"You may have not heard this before but," Isis spoke to the gang before she laughs evilly. "There's _no _escape from here!"

"But you don't understand." Avery spoke to Isis. "We're on a mission here. We need to go to Baton Rouge and save this red-haired girl, Gwen Axle, from her kidnapper, fast."

"But _you _don't really know the half of it. Let us demonstrate for a moment."

_**Halfas:**__ Watch yourself  
>Don't fall off of the shelf<em>

_**Daisy: **__You must be the new boys in town_

_**Woody: **__What's that sound?  
>Is someone moving around?<em>

_**Isis: **__Sit down for a spell  
>You don't look so well<em>

_**Drake: **__Wait a minute, I feel great  
>You just leave yourself to fate<br>You might as well just hang around_

_**Jaguar and Amelia:**__ It's too late  
>We've got to operate<em>

_**Isis: **__Just try to relax  
>It's a house of wax!<em>

_**Joan, Amelia and Jim: **__Oh, I remember Frankenstein  
>Shivers up my spine, wo-oh<em>

_**Wally: **__I'm for getting out of here_

_**Halfas: **__No need to shout, my dear, no-oh_

_**Jaguar: **__Who will go to the cellar down below?_

_**Tai-Changa: **__Trouble is a-bubbling in the brew_

_**Halfas: **__And while you're down there Mr. Vincent Price  
>Will give you good advice<em>

_**Isis: **__He'll know what to do  
>You just tell him "BOO!"<em>

_**Halfas: **__He will put the voodoo in the stew  
>I'm telling you!<em>

_It's like a movie  
>It's a B-movie show<br>It's like a movie  
>It's a B-movie show<em>

Just then, a black coffin appeared right before the gang's eyes and before they know it, Victoria, wearing a black funeral dress pops out of the coffin. She tells the gang her story by using hand gestures and body language before fainting back inside the coffin as it disappears into thin air.

_**Wally: **__This is weird_

_**Buzz: **__It's much worse than I feared_

_**Woody: **__I'll close my eyes and make it disappear_

The halfas circled around the unlikely males, making them back up to Tai-Changa's back in fear.

_**Wally, Woody and Buzz: **__This is strange_

_**Tai-Changa: **__It ain't home on the range_

_**Halfas: **__You just tell St. Pete  
>That you got cold feet<em>

_**Avery, Woody, Wally, Kendall and Buzz: **__There goes the sun  
>Here comes the night<br>Somebody turn on the light  
>Somebody tell me that fate has been kind<em>

_**Halfas: **__You can't go out  
>You are out of your mind!<em>

_It's like a movie  
>It's a B-movie show<br>It's like a movie  
>It's a B-movie show<em>

The halfas then start hovering up into the ceiling until they heard the bell rang and everyone went back to their positions.

"Excuse me St. Pete," Wellsley's voice was heard outside the office. "The Australian ectoplasm was lovely. I was wondering if you have some buzzard ectoplasm as well."

Buzz gasped. He is the only buzzard in the room, but unfortunately, is not a halfa, or a full ghost.

"Why sure," St. Pere's voice was heard as well. "I've got a shipment of them just this morning."

Buzz panicked as he grabs Avery's jacket and pleads for mercy.

"You've got to help me! You've got to hide me! I'll do anything! Cheetah Chug! I can get you Cheetah Chug, mountains of Cheetah Chug!"

"Buzz!" Avery cried as she shakes Buzz to his senses. "Get ahold of yourself!"

Avery, Woody, Kendall, Buzz and Wally hide just as St. Pete is entering his office to collect Buzz, but found him missing.

"Now where did that buzzard go?" St. Pete asked himself angrily. "I could've sworn he'd be sitting on that couch! What did he do? Fly away? I should've bought ghost cages to keep ghosts from flying out of those cages."

As St. Pete searches the office for Buzz, Buzz kept himself hidden in an old treasure chest, trying to keep quiet. Unfortunately, he let out a squeaky fart, which caught St. Pete's attention. St. Pete walks up to the chest and find Buzz there, giving him a scared look.

"There you are!" St. Pete said as he drags Buzz to the experimental table and straps him there.

Avery, Woody, Kendall and Wally gasped in fear as St. Pete was about to kill Buzz next. They could've told him that Buzz is not a ghost, or a halfa, but they're too scared to tell him that.

"Wally," Avery whispers to Wally. "What should we do?"

"I-I-I ... I don't know." Wally whispered back, not knowing exactly what to do.

Woody thinks for a moment, and then, an idea pops up in his head.

"I got an idea." Woody told Avery, Kendall and Wally. "Follow my lead."

Buzz watched in fear as St. Pete grabs the gas mask and places it on his beak. Buzz tries to fight it off, but the gas made him lose consciousness, while St. Pete pulls out the dissecting tool. But before St. Pete could _really_ dissect the unconscious buzzard, someone turned off the lights. He puts down the dissecting tool and looks all around him. The room is pitched black. Then, he heard something, almost like a cackle. He saw a ghost, flying towards him, and when he gets too close, he speaks in a way that would scare the shit out of St. Pete.

"Guess who?"

St. Pete screams after hearing what the ghost had told him. He screams even more when he saw three more ghosts coming after him. He runs and then faints. The ghosts then took off their forms to reveal Avery, Wally, Kendall and a flying Woody with glowing green eyes.

"I told you it would work." Woody told Wally as he flies up to the experimental table and unstraps an unconscious buzzard. "Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, hahahahahahaha!"

"Now's not the time to go laughing about it," Wally replied as Buzz regains his consciousness. "Now we need to get the hell out of here and get to Baton Rouge."

The other halfas saw what was going on. Since St. Pete is unconscious, that would mean that he is not as invincible as the others think. They can escape and roam free now, and it all thanks to Avery, Kendall, Woody, Buzz and Wally. They fly through walls, through open doors and anywhere else where they could escape. The gang was about to leave to get to Baton Rouge when Isis and Amelia stopped by to speak to them.

"Why are you still doing here?" Kendall asked Isis and Amelia. "You're free."

"We want to thank you for helping us," Isis replied. "And for regaining our hopes of escaping from this place."

"And it seems that your woodpecker friend is enjoying being a halfa." Amelia said as she saw Woody flying around the office.

"You should try it Avery," Isis told Avery. "Sooner or later, you might find that being a halfa is fun."

"I still think that I'm not a halfa." Avery replied sharply.

"One day Avery. One day you will realize the whole truth."

"Would we see you guys again?" Buzz asked Isis and Amelia.

"Maybe," Amelia replied. "But don't worry; you'll get to see us more often. Until then, catch ya later!"

Then Isis and Amelia left.

"Now what?" Buzz asked Avery. "Should we walk our way to Baton Rouge since our dumpster is lost in the waterfall?"

"I could carry you guys to Baton Rouge, and fly there if you want." Woody suggested as he flies towards the others.

"We really appreciated it Woody," Avery replied. "But due to Wally being heavy, that plan could really drain your energy, and it could most likely kill you in the process."

"She's right." Kendall added. "We need a car to get to Baton Rouge. But how?"

Just then, as they walked out of the store, they saw a parked, roofless, red corvette, owned by Connie D'Amico and her gang who are at the store next door.

"Connie won't mind if we _borrow_ her corvette for a while," Wally smirked as he takes the keys and starts the corvette.

"Cool," Buzz added. "It even has GPS."

"Next stop, Baton Rouge!" Avery cried as the gang took off with Connie's corvette.

"So you made it to Baton Rouge, now what?" Knothead asked Woody. "Did you guys find Gwen and the kidnapper?"

"We were going to find Gwen," Woody replied. "But things have taken for the worst when we first got inside Baton Rouge…"

Baton Rouge is a huge place, even bigger than Quahog. The gang is unsure of where to look first. Gwen could be anywhere. Just then, Woody's cellphone rang.

"Hello?" Woody answered the phone.

"Hi, it's Kat," answered a familiar female voice. "Any sighs of Gwen?"

"Not yet, but we are able to find her in Baton Rouge, thanks to the kidnapper that gave away his info to Avery a few days ago."

"And thoughts on who might the kidnapper be?"

"Avery and Kendall are certain that the kidnapper is Mr. Ivan since he's been on Gwen's trail regularly. But I'm not sure who it is. It could be a jealous woman."

"Jealous woman?" Avery questioned Woody's respond. "That could only mean one person – Lois."

"But Lois is in prison Avery." Kendall told Avery. "There's no way she could've escaped from prison and kidnap Gwen."

"Shh," Wally told Avery and Kendall. "Woody is still on the phone."

"I've got some info for you Woody," Kat called Woody again. "My father is in Baton Rouge, attending to a business meeting."

"Name please?" Woody asked.

"My father's name is Marcus Axle. He's at the meeting now at the museum which is in downtown. Meet up with him as soon as possible and tell him about Gwen."

"Sure thing."

Then Woody hangs up.

"Well?" Kendall asked. "Who was it?"

"It's Kat." Woody replied. "She told us to meet her father at the museum in downtown as soon as possible."

"Well then let's go there," Buzz said with excitement. "There's no time to lose."

But what the gang didn't notice is that they were being followed by a white van with two bulky men in white outfits.

**We've got snoopers on our trail boss.** One of the bulky men said to the walkie-talkie.

**Follow them.** A mysterious voice replied. **We can't have them foiling my plans.**

* * *

><p>"Then what happened?" Knothead asked. "Why did the men in white wanted to follow you guys?"<p>

"We have no idea why they want to follow us in the first place." Wally explained. "We thought they were just nosey reporters, looking for a story in Baton Rouge."

"But boy, were we wrong?" Woody replied. "We have realized what they were really are, a little too late …"

* * *

><p>"How are we going to find Gwen's father?" Buzz asked. "In this big place?"<p>

"We could ask a few people for directions." Avery said as Wally parks the red corvette in two parking lots at a different angle.

"Um, Wally," Kendall spoke as she looks at where the corvette is parked. "You can't park like that. It's against the law."

"Trust me Kendall," Wally chuckles as the gang gets out of the corvette. "They don't give us tickets. They give it to Connie instead."

The gang left the corvette behind and they walk into the busy streets, unaware that the moment the corvette is out of their sight, a police car came by and placed a ticket on the corvette. But the gang didn't care. It's Connie's problem, not them.

As soon as the gang is at downtown, they find out that looking for Marcus is like finding a needle in a haystack. But they did remember that Marcus is at the museum. But as they went there, the museum is huge and oddly enough, it seems deserted and less busy than it is outside.

"We split up?" Buzz asked.

"We split up." Avery replied. "We go in different directions and cover more ground."

"But what if we get lost?" Kendall asked.

"Luckily I stole five walkie-talkies from that nightclub in Quahog," Wally said as he gives each a walkie-talkie. "I thought it would come in handy, ever since what had happened a few nights ago in Quahog."

"Way to go Wally." Woody replied as he flies up in the air. "This is going to be a piece of cake."

Then Woody flies off in one direction, while the others went in different directions. But they still didn't notice that two bulky men in white outfits are following one of them. Their first target – Buzz Buzzard.

()()()()()

Buzz was at the Dinosaurs exhibit. He looked everywhere in that exhibit, but Marcus was nowhere to be found.

**Find anything? **Avery's voice was heard through Buzz's walkie-talkie.

**Not a single sight of Mr. Axle. **Buzz replied through his walkie-talkie. **How about you?**

**Nothing either. Keep looking and don't give up.**

Buzz was about to keep on walking, when all of a sudden, he felt a sudden chill. He knew that the museum has an air-conditioner and a heater, but never had he felt a chill in the museum before, except on really hot days.

"Guess who?" said a mysterious voice.

"Huh?" Buzz spoke. "Who is this?"

Buzz turns around and saw a white-skinned bulky man in white outfit, holding a club. Before Buzz could react, he was knocked out by the man in white outfit.

"One down, four more to go." The white man in white outfit spoke as he drags the unconscious buzzard out from the Dinosaurs exhibit.

()()()()()

Wally is at the Medieval Times exhibit. Although he was supposed to look for Marcus, the walrus had become interested in this exhibit, even the history itself. He didn't notice Kendall walking towards him.

"Find Mr. Axle yet?" Kendall spoke which made Wally jump.

"Not yet Kendall." Wally replied. "Although I did become distracted."

Just then, Wally and Kendall heard a noise.

"What was that?" Kendall asked Wally.

"I'm not sure what it is," Wally replied. "But I don't like this one bit."

Kendall was about to speak, but a big hand covers her mouth, preventing her to speak. And before she knew it, she was dragged away from Wally's sight.

"Kendall?" Wally spoke, the tense of silence spread across the exhibit. "Where are you?"

Just then, a net sprung from above and traps Wally inside. The net was glowing green, meaning that it was meant to capture ghosts – full or halfa.

"What is the meaning of this?" Wally shouted. "If this is a joke, this is not funny!"

Right before the walrus' eyes, a black, bulky man who wore a white outfit approaches before him.

"Is this your idea of a joke?" Wally asked the black man. "I find this joke of yours not funny."

But the black man didn't say anything. Instead, he pulls out a button and pressed the red button. All of a sudden, the net started electrocuting Wally, knocking him out cold in the process. Once the walrus is unconscious, the black man then grabs the net and starts dragging the walrus out of the exhibit.

()()()()()

Woody is at the Egyptian exhibit. He knew that Marcus would be at the Egyptian exhibit since he is an archaeologist after all. But no matter how hard Woody tried to look for Marcus (he even checked the sarcophaguses and air vents of this exhibit), but Marcus was nowhere to be found.

**This is like finding a needle in a haystack. **Woody told Avery through his walkie-talkie. **What if Marcus already left the building?**

**I seriously doubt that he would be out of the building. **Avery's voice was heard through the walkie-talkie. **Any updates on Wally, Buzz or Kendall?**

**I got no answer from them. But it's not usual of them to lose their walkie-talkies in this big place.**

**Maybe the batteries are dead.**

**No, it's not like that. What if something awful happened to them?**

**Like what?**

But before Woody could answer, he saw a sarcophagus moving in an unusual manner. It rocked itself open to reveal a bulky mummy, who looks like he is not as undead as you think he is. His bandages are fresh and white, and his appearance looks rather young and healthy.

**Woody? **Avery's voice was heard through Woody's walkie-talkie. **Are you still here?**

Woody didn't respond. Instead, he flies away from the mummy, only to have the mummy trap the woodpecker in bandages, mummifying him in the process. Woody lets out a woodpecker scream before the bandages wrap his beak shut. Woody tried to phase his way out of the bandages, but the bandages were no ordinary bandages. They were glowing green, which means that it prevented Woody to use his powers to escape as the bandages drag Woody inside the sarcophagus and sealed it shut. The mummy however unwraps himself to reveal a white man in white outfit – the same one that captured Buzz earlier. Buzz, Kendall, Wally and Woody are captured. Avery is the last one yet to be captured.

()()()()()

**Woody? **Avery tries to talk through her walkie-talkie to get Woody's respond.

It got nothing.

Avery couldn't help but feel worried. None of her friends have responded back to her, and she knew that Woody was right about something – what if something awful happened to them? The same awful thing that had already happened to Gwen? And before Avery knew it, she saw a black, bulky man in white outfit approaching her.

"What do you want?" Avery spoke to the black man.

The black man said nothing. Instead, he punches Avery in the face, knocking her out cold. He grabs Avery's body and then left. Not a single word, noise or living thing emerges in the empty halls of the museum.

Except four ghosts hovering from the ceiling. It was Tai-Changa, Isis, Jaguar and Amelia.

"This is not good," Tai-Changa whispers to the others. "Not good at all."

"Those guys must be so desperate to keep the gang from reaching the father of Gwen Axle." Jaguar replied.

"I'll report this to Gwen's father." Isis said as she starts flying down to the floor. "I think his name's Marcus."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Amelia asked Isis. "The rest of us are heading to China, and we don't want you to miss out on the fun."

"I'll be fine. You guys go on without me."

Amelia sighs as she, Tai-Changa and Jaguar left Isis behind, leaving Isis to ponder her thoughts.

* * *

><p>"Looks like Woody had worn himself out." Buzz said as he, Wally, Knothead and Splinter saw Woody sleeping on the couch.<p>

"Will Woody be continuing the story tomorrow?" Knothead asked.

"We want to know how it ends." Splinter replied.

"Tomorrow after school, when Woody is up and running." Wally replied.

Knothead and Splinter then went upstairs and went to bed. Buzz left the house as Wally carries a sleeping Woody to his room and tucks the woodpecker in, then leaves the house. The story will be resumed tomorrow afternoon.

_**To be continued…**_


	30. Crimson Noir Part 3

_**Crimson Noir Part 3: Crimson Finale**_

_**Summary:**__ Kendall, Avery, Woody, Buzz and Wally made it to Baton Rouge, but before they can start looking for her, or inform their information to her father, they are captured, one by one, by two bulky men in white outfits. What are they to do now in this dilemma?_

School ended for the day as Knothead and Splinter race to Woody's house to hear the rest of Woody's story from last night. Knothead is on his bike while Splinter is flying like a bird should do. They went past the grouchy Ms. Meany, Winnie and Wellsley, who are dating, and Brad and his goons who are beating up Peter Griffin. Then Buzz and Wally followed Knothead and Splinter to Woody's house.

"How's school, kids?" Woody asked as he turns off the TV, once he saw Knothead, Splinter, Buzz and Wally entering his house.

"We had to do a pop quiz today." Knothead replied. "We did pretty well."

"But Brianna didn't," Splinter added. "She spends too much time winning pageants and thinking about herself all the time that she literally failed the pop quiz."

"But we're still thinking about your story." Knothead told Woody.

"Can we hear what happens next?" Splinter asked. "After you and the others were captured by those mean men in white outfits?"

"We'll help too!" Buzz and Wally added.

"Alright," Woody said as he sits down. "Here's what happened after we got captured…"

* * *

><p>Indigo eyes fluttered through the darkness. It's dark, so dark that you can't see any form of life. Avery knew that she might be dead by now. But she wasn't dead. She was still alive, just unconscious. Her eyes fluttered again, this time, they open to the faint, green light glowing in a dark room.<p>

What is she doing in the room? She should be with her friends, finding Marcus and inform him about Gwen's disappearance. Did they ever find Marcus?

No.

She remembered the black, bulky man in a white outfit punching her in the face. She had lost consciousness back there. She is uncertain of what had happened to her friends – Buzz, Wally, Kendall and Woody.

She got up to her feet and takes a good look at the room where she is held. It was a big room, not as big as the classroom. The door seems unlocked. She could get out of here, find her friends and then warn Marcus about Gwen's disappearance.

Then Avery realized that she wasn't alone in this room.

Behind her were her three friends – Kendall, Wally and Buzz. All were unconscious. Kendall was the first to wake up.

"What hit me?" Kendall asked as her eyes fluttered open to see Avery on her feet, and Wally and Buzz still unconscious. "Where are we anyway?"

"I have no idea." Avery replied. "But the door seems unlocked."

"So we can get out and continue on our case?" Buzz asked as he regains consciousness. "Sweet."

"Not yet." Wally replied as he also regains consciousness. "We're missing someone."

Avery couldn't help but to think that Wally may be right. The gang is actually missing someone.

"Where's Woody?" Kendall asked.

Just then, everyone heard the sound of a moving stone. They turned around and saw a sarcophagus shaking like crazy. Avery, being the brave one, opens the lid slowly and what frightens her for the first few seconds is that a mummy jumps up from the sarcophagus and landed on the floor with a THUD. The mummy's form looked a lot like a woodpecker, yet the mummy is not undead as the bandages are fresh and glowing green, and he looks rather young and healthy. Plus his glowing emerald eyes were shown in the room for the first time since that sarcophagus is opened.

The mummy tries to speak, but all the four friends could hear were muffles. Avery becomes brave again as she unwrap the bandages that were wrapped around the mummy's beak tightly to let the mummy speak.

"Thanks for letting me speak again." The mummy spoke to Avery. "Those bandages nearly killed me."

Avery gave the mummy a good look before something hits her head. That's no mummy. That's Woody Woodpecker wrapped in bandages.

"Woody," Avery spoke as she unwrap Woody. "What happened to you?"

"It's a long story," Woody replied. "And you?"

"Long story as well."

"How did we all get in here in the first place?" Buzz asked.

"It must've been the doing of a wicked individual who obviously don't want us to find Gwen and get back home to Mellowbrook." Wally replied. "Whoever he is."

"Let's take a look outside of this room." Kendall spoke as she walks towards the unlocked door. "We may find answers along the way."

Avery nods as she, Kendall, Woody, Buzz and Wally exited the empty room, only for them to be at a place that they wished that they're not at in the first place. They're inside a place that looks like a huge prison with over a thousand jail cells and almost all of the inmates that they see are ghosts – full and halfas.

The gang couldn't help but wonder why all of these ghosts are here in this rotten place. They know that some have broken the law and done a lot of crime activities, but they had this feeling that some are innocent and they don't belong here.

"Will we be able to find Gwen?" Kendall asked Avery.

"I don't know." Avery replied sadly. "I guess we failed … again."

"Aw don't feel bad Avery," Wally said, trying to cheer Avery up. "Do not worry if darkness has taken over the light. Have faith and hopes and soon, light will triumph over darkness."

But this doesn't cheer Avery up. It made her even more depressed. Even Woody felt depressed, despite being a crazy-maniac and a good father-figure to his niece and nephew. Kendall also felt depressed, despite being always optimistic and being a good role model for other kids at school. Buzz too felt depressed.

Wally's comfort smile fades away after taking a good look at his friends. All are depressed. Maybe Avery is right. They failed to find Gwen, again.

The gang decided to walk for a while, possibly trying to find a way to get out of this place, when a small group of innocent ghosts caught their attention. There were about ten ghosts, all are sitting and are depressed. They have lost all hopes of ever escaping from this place.

Then, the ten ghosts look up and saw a huge claw coming towards them. The 10 ghosts tried to make a run for it, but the claw captures them quickly, before anyone can fly away. The gang and some of the moving ghosts watch as the claw carries the captured ghosts to a conveyer belt where they meet their apparent doom – they are send falling into a huge pot of a special kind of liquid called ectodistruct – a chemical that could kill any ghost – full or halfa. The 10 ghosts scream as they are being dissolved into nothing by the ectodistruct.

This scares the other ghosts, even Woody.

"_Attention all ghosts!" _said a male speaker through the intercom. _"That scene you've just see earlier was to teach you all on what the consequences will be if any one of you tries to escape or break any rules. This is a matter of life and death. Good day.__"_

If only the gang could find a way to escape from this place and find Gwen.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Isis search through the entire museum to look for Marcus. She has no idea on what Marcus looked like, and what would his reaction be if a ghost starts speaking to him. She just hopes that Marcus isn't a ghost hunter whose goal is to kill ghosts.

()()()()()

Back in the prison-like building, the gang huddled close to each other as they walk around. Neither of them wanted to get killed or be separated, so they did their best to avoid the huge claw. Buzz initially bumps into an elderly ghost who is depressed and seems harmless.

"Sorry about that, my good man." Buzz said as he quickly went back to his friends.

But the elderly ghost didn't smile. He still frowns with sorrow. He then looks up sadly as the claw hovers down to him and then, it grabs him.

_**Elderly Ghost: **__I can't take this kind of pressure  
>I must confess one more dusty road<br>Would be just a road too long_

The claw then sends the elderly ghost into his doom.

_**Ghosts: **__Worthless..._

On another area, a young female ghost who is in her 20s and wore a pink jacket, a white T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans tries to make a run for it once she saw the claw coming towards her. But the claw grabs her in time.

_**Young Female Ghost: **__I just can't, I just can't  
>I just can't seem to get started!<br>Don't have the heart to live in the fast lane  
>All that has passed and gone<em>

The claw lets go of the young female ghost and sends her to her doom.

_**Ghosts: **__Worthless!_

_**Thin Ghost: **__There is nothing you can do about it_

_**Ghosts: **__Worthless!_

_**Fat Ghost: **__Pardon me while I panic!_

_**Ghosts: **__Worthless! Worthless! Worthless!_

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Isis checks the room that she hasn't check yet – the meeting room for businessmen. There are a lot of businessmen in there. How will she know which one is Marcus?

()()()()()

Meanwhile, the claw manages to grab a rebel ghost who tries to run away.

_**Rebel Ghost: **__I come from KC Missouri  
>And I got my kicks down on Route 66<em>

_**Ghosts: **__Every truck stop from Butte to MO_

_**Rebel Ghost: **__Motown to Old Alabama  
>From Texarkana and east of Savanna from Tampa to Old Kokomo<em>

The ghosts turned away as the rebel ghost falls to his doom and dissolves into nothing.

_**Ghosts: **__Worthless..._

_**Racer Ghost: **__I once ran the Indy 500  
>I must confess I'm impressed how I did<br>And I wonder how close that I came  
>Now I get a sinking sensation<br>I was the top of the line, out of site out of mind  
>So much for fortune and fame<em>

The racer ghost got grabbed by the claw and was immediately sent to the ectodistruct to die.

()()()()()

"Ahem," Isis clears her throat as the businessmen turn their attention to Isis. "Is there anyone here whose name is Marcus Axle?"

One businessman raises his hand. It's Marcus Axle.

"Yes?" Marcus asked Isis.

"Can we talk in private?" Isis asked.

()()()()()

The gang met up with a female ghost who claims to be a wedding counselor, but the gang quickly ran away when the claw grabs the wedding counselor ghost.

_**Wedding Counselor Ghost: **__Once took a Texan to a wedding  
>Once took a Texan to a wedding<br>He kept forgetting, his loneliness letting  
>His thoughts turn to home and we turned<em>

While the wedding counselor ghost is waiting for her apparent doom, the claw quickly grabs the hearse driver ghost.

_**Hearse Driver Ghost: **__I took a man to a graveyard  
>I beg your pardon; it's quite hard enough<br>Just living with the stuff I have learned_

The claw then drops the hearse driver ghost beside the wedding counselor ghost as the two ghost fall to their doom at the same time.

_**Ghosts: **__Worthless..._

()()()()()

"So what is this that you want to talk about?" Marcus asked Isis as they went into the empty hallways.

"It's about Gwen." Isis replied. "She's been kidnapped."

"Kidnapped?" Marcus' expression went from being a little pleasant to being distressed. "By who?"

"I don't know, but my friends might know who kidnapped her. They were going to tell you about it, but they got captured as well."

"Should we go after them?"

"Yes. For Gwen's sake."

()()()()()

Woody's emerald eyes were caught on the appearance of a young, female ghost who is a woodpecker who wore a pink bikini and a flower on her wavy golden hair. She seems innocent.

_**Female Woodpecker Ghost: **__Once drove a surfer to sunset  
>There were bikinis and buns filled with weenies<br>Believe me, just couldn't forget_

But the claw grabs the female woodpecker ghost, causing her to drop whatever it is which then landed on Woody's feet. It was a glass heart, shattered into pieces.

_**Female Woodpecker Ghost: **__Pico lets go up to Zuma_

_**Woody: **__Pico lets go up to Zuma_

_**Female Woodpecker Ghost: **__From Zuma to Yuma the rumor was I had a hand in the lay of the land_

_**Ghosts: **__Get up and go hit the highway_

Woody could only watch as the female woodpecker ghost falls to her doom. He could even hear her high-pitched woodpecker scream.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Marcus and Isis went on the road to find the place where the gang might be by now – the prison-like building full of ghosts.

()()()()()

The gang saw a mechanic ghost sitting alone on one of the steel benches.

_**Mechanic Ghost: **__I worked on a reservation _

_**Ghosts: **__Who? Who?_

_**Mechanic Ghost: **__Who would believe they would love me and leave on a bus back to old Santa Fe?_

The claw went towards the mechanic ghost, but before it could grab him, the mechanic ghost just flew away and lands on the conveyer belt, much to the surprise of the other ghosts.

_**Mechanic Ghost: **__Once in an Indian nation  
>I took the kids on the skids with a Hopi<br>Who was happy to lie there and say_

_**Ghosts: **__"You're worthless"_

The gang covered their eyes as the mechanic ghost dissolves into nothing. No scream was heard from him. This was suicidal. They have to escape. Fast.

"I think we better take a look around and see if we can find something to escape from this place." Avery told Kendall, Woody, Buzz and Wally. "Where no one can follow us and stop us from finding Gwen."

"Should we split up?" Buzz asked.

"Only if you want to get captured and be helpless again." Woody replied, remembering two past scenarios – one when he got captured by Quagmire back in Quahog, and two when everyone got captured one by one by two mysterious men at the museum.

"I have to agree with Woody on this." Wally replied to Buzz. "We certainly don't want one of us to get in trouble and get killed."

"So do I," Kendall replied. "We really need to find Gwen. We can't risk wasting more time."

"So staying close together it is." Avery replied. "Let's go."

The gang continued on walking around, looking for a way to escape. As they are walking, a muffled cry caught Woody's attention. He wonders who it belongs to, and where it is. But he can't risk abandoning his friends. Woody remains hovering in the air on the same spot, which eventually caught everyone else's attention.

"What's wrong Woody?" Wally asked the concerned woodpecker.

"I hear something." Woody replied as he slowly flies to the direction of the muffled cry. "It sounded like a muffled cry."

"Was it a girl?" Buzz asked.

Woody listens to the muffled cry again. It almost sounded feminine.

"I think it's a girl." Woody replied. "I better investigate."

"Wait, we'll go too." Avery said as she and the others follow Woody. "I think there's something familiar about that cry."

Woody nods as he leads his friend the direction to where the cry was heard. It leads them to a door which is possibly the storage room of this place. Avery tries to open the door, but it's locked. Woody only shook his head as he turns intangible and went through the door. Inside the room are boxes stacked in piles. What caught his attention is that someone is inside this room as well. Her scarlet hair is tied in a ponytail. She wore a purple shirt with a skull on it, a jean skirt over black leggings and red sneakers. Woody could see that this girl is no older than 13, and is tied and gagged pretty well.

Then, the girl slowly lifts her head up and looks at Woody. Her emerald eyes are red and teary from crying all the time. Woody is able to identify this girl within seconds.

That girl is Gwen. He and his friends have finally found Gwen.

"Gwen." Woody spoke as he takes off Gwen's gag and unties her. "Are you okay?"

"Woody?" Gwen spoke. Her voice was a little quiet and weak. "How did you get in here?"

"It's pretty much a long story. I'll explain along the way."

As Woody is about to walk towards the door, he takes a good look at Gwen. She looked weak, and tired. She hasn't been fed for days. Then, she faints. Woody didn't waste another minute as he carries Gwen, turns intangible and went through to door to be reunited with his friends. When they saw Gwen, they were overjoyed, but then became sad once they saw just how terrible Gwen looked.

"Is she alright?" Kendall asked Woody.

"Gwen hasn't been fed for days." Woody replied.

"As soon as we get out of this place, we're taking her to the hospital." Avery spoke.

So the gang walked and walked to find any possible, yet undetected way to escape. Just when they were about to give up, they saw a ghost, a miner, digging his way out of the place. It didn't attract the attention of everyone, but it did catch the gang's attention. When the ghost saw the gang watching him, he stops digging and gives them an annoyed look.

"What do you want?" the ghost spoke to the gang. "Are you here to be nosey and then tattletale on me?"

"We're not going to tattletale on you." Avery replied calmly. "We want to escape too, so that our friend can get to the hospital."

"What's wrong with her?" The ghost eyed the unconscious Gwen.

"She doesn't look too good." Woody replied. "My guess would be that someone is torturing her."

"Can you help us escape?" Avery asked the ghost again.

"Alright I'll help." the ghost answered. "But you better kept this our little secret. Otherwise, I'll be looking for you, one by one."

"We'll keep it a secret." Wally replied.

"Good."

The ghost then continues on digging while the gang joins in as well. Several minutes later, both the gang and the ghost made it out of the prison, undetected.

"Now go," the ghost told the gang as he flies away. "Escape while you can, before _he _finds you."

That was the last time the gang saw the ghost. They were confused about one thing – who is _he _that would find them?

As the gang make walk away from the building, they saw headlights coming towards them. They panicked and stopped at their position, waiting for something to happen to them. However, the car pulled off beside them, and the door opened to reveal the driver. It was Marcus Axle, accompanied by Isis who was flying invisible at that time when they arrived.

"Isis," Kendall spoke when she saw Isis again ever since the incident at St. Pete's shop. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to rescue you guys." Isis replied. "Oh and Marcus is here as well."

"Marcus," Avery spoke to Marcus. "We've found Gwen."

"Is she alright?" Marcus asked as he went closer to Gwen. "What have they done to her?"

"She hasn't been fed for days." Woody replied. "I'm guessing that someone loves to torture her for unknown reasons."

"It could be the work of Mr. Ivan." Kendall added. "Haven't seen him before, but I've heard a lot of bad tales about him."

"If I find out whoever tortured this sweet little girl," Buzz spoke as he pumps his fists. "I'll tear him apart, _limb from limb_!"

"We all want to find the kidnapper and beat him up as much as you do," Wally replied to Buzz calmly. "But now we need to get Gwen to the hospital before we take her back home."

"Wally's right." Avery told Buzz. "I don't want to know how Kat would react if she saw Gwen half-dead."

Everyone agreed as they all went into the car. They drove off to the city, more specifically, the hospital.

* * *

><p>"Is Gwen going to be okay?" Knothead asked Woody.<p>

"Gwen was lucky that she is alright." Woody replied. "Although she did gave us quite a scare when we first found her."

"So what did you guys do afterwards?" Splinter asked.

"We wanted to go home as soon as possible, but the doctor told us that Gwen has to stay in the hospital for a few days before getting back on her feet. For saving Gwen's life, Marcus allowed us to stay in his place until Gwen is back on her feet …"

* * *

><p>"Do we have to stay in Baton Rouge any longer?" Buzz asked Wally as he is reading a magazine at the main room of Marcus' home.<p>

"We're not leaving until Gwen is back on her feet." Wally replied. "That way, Gwen won't be able to get kidnapped again while we're guarding her."

"Good point."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Avery is looking at the window with a concerned look on her face. Countless questions filled her brain within minutes. Who would kidnap Gwen in the first place for no reason? Why didn't Gwen's kidnapper feed her some food on a regular basis? She nearly died from hunger. And who is the mystery man that was going to look for them sooner or later? Nearly all of these questions not only haunted her, but they made her look confused.

"Are you okay?" Kendall's concerned voice reached Avery's ears within minutes.

Avery turns around and faced Kendall who is standing behind Avery.

"I'm … fine." Avery replied in a deeper tone. It doesn't convince Kendall.

"I know something's wrong inside of you." Kendall spoke again, in a bossy tone. "Spit it out."

Avery didn't like the tone Kendall used, but she got to admit that Kendall is absolutely right. It won't make things better by keeping something a secret for a long time. And the fact that keeping something a secret makes her guiltier.

"Fine." Avery answered. "I just don't see why someone would want to kidnap Gwen for no reason, and not feed her on a regular basis. Are you happy?"

"That's not what I meant." Kendall noted.

"The truth is … I'm worried about Gwen."

Kendall could see the sorrow in Avery's indigo eyes. Ever since the news about Gwen's disappearance spread around town, Avery felt determined and concerned. Even Isis could see the sorrow in Avery's eyes.

"I see that you are worried about your friend, Gwen Axle." Isis spoke to Avery. "I'm a little sorry for having my doubt on you earlier, and for thinking that you're one of us. A halfa."

"It really doesn't matter Isis." Avery replied, as she looks at her own shirt that still holds the green stain.

"I was once worried about my friend. He was a full human and my only friend in the world. But after what had happened to him thanks to those cruel and wicked full humans, I began to distrust and have my doubts on those humans for their wicked deeds. But now, since you guys came and asked us how to escape from St. Pete just so you guys can find Gwen, that past have come back to me."

"Have you once tried to find your friend?" Kendall asked.

"I've tried, but I was too late." Kendall saw a tear coming down from Isis's blue eye. "The humans killed him by the time I have reached to him. I was too late."

_**Isis: **__I was stained, with a role,  
>In a day not my own<br>But as you walked into my life  
>You showed what needed to be shown<br>I always knew, what was right  
>I didn't know that I might<br>Peel away and choose to see  
>With such a different sight<em>

_And I will never see the sky the same way,  
>And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday<br>And I will never cease to fly if held down,  
>And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,<br>Cause I've seen twilight_

_Never cared never wanted  
>Never sought to see what flaunted<br>So on purpose so in my face  
>Couldn't see beyond my own place<br>It was so easy not to behold what I could hold  
>But you taught me I could change<br>Whatever came within these shallow days_

_And I will never see the sky the same way,  
>And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday<br>And I will never cease to fly if held down,  
>And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,<br>Cause I've seen twilight_

_As the sun shines through it pushes away  
>And pushes ahead<br>It fills the warmth of blue  
>And leaves a chill instead and<br>I didn't know that I could be  
>So blind to all that is real<br>But as illusion dies  
>I see there is so much to be revealed<em>

_And I will never see the sky the same way,  
>And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday<br>And I will never cease to fly if held down,  
>And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,<br>Cause I've seen twilight_

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Woody is also having a hard time during the stay. He had seen a happy couple, a female mouse and a male turtle in a wheelchair walk by and went pass Marcus' home. They reminded him of his previous relationship with Winnie, before she dumped him for Wellsley. It's been three years since their break-up. Why can't Woody just forget about Winnie and get a fresh start like other dumped boyfriends?

But no matter how hard he had tried to forget all about it, the memories would still come back to him like sirens luring unexpected men to do their biddings.

Then, he saw a guitar lying across the room. Maybe a song would cheer him up and forget all about Winnie.

_**Woody:**_ _Yesterday  
>All my troubles seemed so far away<br>Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
>Oh, I believe in yesterday.<em>

_Suddenly  
>I'm not half to man I used to be,<br>There's a shadow hanging over me.  
>Oh, yesterday came suddenly.<em>

_Why she had to go  
>I don't know she wouldn't say.<br>I said something wrong  
>Now I long for yesterday.<em>

_Yesterday  
>Love was such an easy game to play.<br>Now I need a place to hide away.  
>Oh, I believe in yesterday.<em>

_Why she had to go  
>I don't know she wouldn't say.<br>I said something wrong  
>Now I long for yesterday.<em>

_Yesterday  
>Love was such an easy game to play.<br>Now I need a place to hide away.  
>Oh, I believe in yesterday.<em>

_Mmmmm..._

Did that do it? Woody thinks for a moment, and then, Winnie appeared in his thoughts. It looks like the song didn't do much effect to Woody. It only made him think about Winnie even more. Woody can guess that despite what had happened between him and Winnie three years ago, he misses Winnie.

But that was three years ago when they were still together. Now, they went on to their separate ways.

"Woody?" Woody heard Avery's voice from outside the room. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Woody replied. "I'm okay. How's Gwen?"

"According to her father, she's okay. Gwen is going to be released from the hospital first thing in the morning."

"So we can finally go home tomorrow?" Buzz asked, having to hear Avery's answer.

"Yes."

"As long as Gwen is safe from getting kidnapped again." Wally added, also hearing Avery's answer.

"But now we need to get some sleep." Kendall noted. "The early we get some sleep, the faster we can get home to Mellowbrook. I'm a little homesick."

"Yeah," Woody replied. "And I'm starting to miss my niece and nephew as well."

So the gang called it a night and went to sleep for another day to come.

()()()()()

First thing in the morning, Avery was the first to wake up. The others were still asleep. What she saw that was new is that Gwen was in the house, alive and well.

"Good morning Avery." Gwen spoke politely for the first time. "How are the others doing?"

"They're still asleep.' Avery replied. "I should wake them up."

Avery then proceeds to make a lot of noise to get the gang's attention.

"Wake up sleepyheads!" Avery shouted. "We're going back home, pronto!"

"Can't we just sleep for a few more minutes?" Kendall asked.

"And risk losing Gwen again?" Wally spoke, half-awake, to Kendall. "I don't think so."

"Tell you what," Avery spoke again as the others wake up. "We eat breakfast first, and then we leave, before Gwen gets kidnapped again."

And I'll tell dad about it and not have him get worried again." Gwen added.

* * *

><p>"So you and the others decided to go back home." Splinter spoke. "Was it a safe journey back home like the incredible journey to Baton Rouge?"<p>

"Kind of," Woody replied.

"But there was trouble along the way." said Wally.

"It's like we were being followed." Buzz added. "And it happened, at dusk…"

* * *

><p>Dusk came as the group, consisted of Avery, Woody, Kendall, Wally, Buzz, Gwen and Isis, decided to camp in the woods for the night. None of them were asleep.<p>

"So you're telling me that you almost got raped by Quagmire, and you got hit by lightning that made you a halfa?" Gwen asked, after hearing Woody's side of the story.

"Yep," Woody replied. "Although I don't think Winnie would want to be with me, now that I'm a freak."

"She won't do that to you, Woody," Avery replied to Woody. "I'm sure she will come to accept you for who you are in a matter of time."

"Not so loud, Avery." Wally spoke quietly to Avery. "There might be spies and strangers in these woods, all around us. For Gwen's sake, we must let them know that we're not here."

Then Kendall notices Buzz walking away from the camp.

"Where are you going Buzz?" Kendall asked.

"I'm not ditching the camp, Kendall." Buzz replied as he pulls out a cigar. "I'm going to have a smoke, and since some of you guys may have health issues with smoking, I'd though I'd be a few inches away from the camp for other's safety."

But as Buzz lights up a cigar, he accidentally bumps into someone. This person is a bulky man who has giant bat-like wings attached to his back. It was the same bulky man that brought the gang into the prison-like building full of ghosts. And what's worse than that is that the bulky man had brought an army of men with bat-like wings with him.

"Well, well, well," the bulky man, who is the leader, spoke as he eyed Buzz and his gang from the distance. "What have we here? A runaway gang and the Axle heiress. Oh, Mr. Ivan will be so pleased once we've captured both the runaway gang and the Axle heiress."

The leader turns to his army.

"CHARGE!"

As soon as the army of winged men took the leader's order, Buzz drops his cigar and ran as fast as he could to the gang.

"RUN!" Buzz yelled to the gang. "Mr. Ivan's men have found us and are going to capture Gwen!"

But no sooner had Buzz said those words, two of the winged men have grabbed him by the arms and lifted him high in the air, separating him from the gang.

"Let go of me!" Buzz yelled. "I don't taste very good y'know. How about getting Ms. Meany for dinner, eh? Or Ms. Chicarelli?"

After Buzz had been taken away, the winged men continued to chase after the remaining gang. Woody, Isis and Avery decided to fight against them, two of them using their respective ghost powers and one using her gun to shoot down the winged men, while Wally, Kendall and Gwen take cover. But unfortunately, one of the winged men has captured Woody by knocking him out cold.

"What?" Kendall spoke as she saw the winged man take the unconscious woodpecker away. "Oh no you don't!"

Kendall found a rock nearby and throws it directly at the winged man's face, letting Woody go in the process. Kendall catches Woody on time, but unfortunately for her, two more winged men, both muscular and huge, swooped down and captures both Kendall and the unconscious woodpecker.

"Let us go, you bullies!" Kendall cried as the muscular winged men carry her and Woody up in the air. "I swear I'll kick your butts!"

As soon as Kendall and Woody were taken away, Wally and Gwen were surrounded by winged men, trying to capture the both of them. Gwen managed to find a stick and fight them off while Wally tries to defend her.

"Don't worry Gwen, I'll protect you." Wally said to Gwen as he fights off the winged men.

But unfortunately, a fat winged man grabs Wally by the pants and lifts the walrus high in the air, leaving Gwen alone.

"Wally," Gwen cried as she tries to chase the fat winged man and Wally.

"Gwen!" Wally warned Gwen with little effort. "Save yourself."

"Wally!"

All of a sudden, a small group of winged men circled around Gwen, trying to get to her. Gwen lets out a scream which caught Avery and Isis' attention, while trying to defend herself from the winged men.

"Gwen!" Isis cried as she and Avery ran to Gwen's side.

"Get away from her!" Avery shouted at the winged men as she purposely shot one of them dead.

But no matter how hard Avery and Isis tried to get the winged men away from Gwen, the leader managed to capture Gwen before Avery and Isis could help her.

"GWEN!" Avery cried as she and Isis give chase.

"Avery, Isis, help me!" Gwen cried as the leader takes her away from Avery and Isis.

Although Avery is unable to reach high enough to get Gwen back because of her disbelief of being a half-ghost, this situation is ultimately passed down to Isis as she flies towards Gwen.

"Hang on Gwen!" Isis cried. "I'm coming!"

Unfortunately, Isis gets knocked out by another winged man who then takes her away, leaving Avery alone in the woods.

"Come back here!" Avery shouted as she chased the winged man and the leader that have recently captured Gwen and Isis, while pulling her gun out. "Or I'll shoot you all in this spot!"

But this made the leader angry. He turns to his army who are flying with him.

"Dispose of this witch!" the leader yelled at his army. "If we can't capture her like the others, then we must kill her instead!"

The winged men obey the leader's command. They swoop down and attack Avery who manages to kill a few with her gun, until all of a sudden, she ran out of bullets.

"Biscuits." Avery muttered under her breath as the winged men attacked her in the speed of light.

But Avery manages to run away from the winged men until she came to the edge of the cliff. The winged men have cornered her there. With little choice, Avery jumps off a cliff, hoping that the winged men will think that she had fallen to her apparent doom. The winged men were about to go after her, but the leader stopped them.

"Leave her!" The leader told his army while holding Gwen captive. "We must bring the others back to Mr. Ivan. He'll know what to do with them."

"What about Axle?" one of the winged men spoke. "What shall Mr. Ivan do to her?"

"Let him take care of her. Now we must return to our lair and tell the boss the good news!"

The army agree as they followed the leader back to Mr. Ivan's lair, taking the captive gang (minus Avery) with them.

But below the cliff's bottom, Avery's body was not found. Instead, Avery's body is floating high in the air, like a ghost. When Avery opens her eyes to see if she was in Heaven, she discovered that she is flying.

"So I am a halfa after all?" Avery spoke quietly as she flies up to the edge of the cliff.

Upon reaching the edge of the cliff, she finds herself alone in the woods. No army of winged men in sight and neither are her friends who are recently captured one by one, let alone Avery being on her own with a gun that stores no bullets inside. She has to find her friends and rescue them from Mr. Ivan. But how?

"Lost, brunette?" said a familiar voice.

"Who's there?" Avery cried as she starts to charge her powers, ready to fight whoever asked her that question. "Show yourself!"

Upon Avery's request, the familiar voice walks closer to Avery who then recognized him completely. It was the ghost miner who helped her and the gang escape from the prison-like building full of ghosts earlier.

"I knew you'd be alone in these woods while your friends were captured by Mr. Ivan's goons." The ghost miner spoke to Avery.

"So when you mentioned that _he_ was going to find us if we don't escape soon, I didn't think that _he _would be Mr. Ivan, dirtiest crook in the world." Avery replied as she saw a blank look on the ghost miner's face. "And by the looks of it, I guess we haven't properly met earlier. I'm Avery. Avery Buttowski."

"And I'm Austin," the ghost miner, Austin replied as he shakes hands with Avery. "It's nice meeting you again."

"Yeah. Except that I'm not all happy right now."

"Why not?"

"My friends got captured by Mr. Ivan's goons and now I don't know where they're taking them to."

"I think they're taking your gang back to the place where I helped you escaped from the prison a few days ago."

"We've escaped from that place before." Avery lets out a frown. "But there's no way that I'm going back there and risk getting killed by ectodistruct."

"You've got a point there. What do you say we teach Mr. Ivan a thing or two for taking our friends away?"

"I'm in." Avery replied as she lets out a determine face as she dons her signature pose. "Where do we start?"

"Why we fly there of course!" Austin said as he starts flying. Avery did the same as she follows Austin to their destination – to save their friends.

()()()()()

Several hours later, Avery and Austin arrived at the prison-like building full of ghosts. From the looks of it, the building is heavily guarded.

"How do we get in?" Avery whispered to Austin.

"We go through walls, duh." Austin said as he goes intangible and went through a wall.

"How do I turn intangible?" Avery asked. "I know that I'm a halfa, but I'm new to this stuff."

"Just think. Think nothing but wanting to be intangible."

So that's what Avery did. She turns intangible and went through the wall to get inside. When inside, she thinks again and returns to normal. The last time she was in there, the place is filled with wandering ghosts. Now it's empty.

"All the ghosts are in their cells for the night." Austin told Avery. "It might be best if we can get to Mr. Ivan's office through the air vents. That way, the guards won't find us, even if we turn invisible."

Avery agrees as she follows Austin to the air vents where they began their search for Mr. Ivan's main office. Avery was about to go further when Austin stopped her.

"We found the office, Avery." Austin told Avery.

"So we break in and find clues on where my friends are locked in." Avery spoke as she went to the open hatch and went inside the office. Unfortunately for her, Mr. Ivan, with his elderly appearance, graying hair and dark eyes that resembles the demon, is inside the office, obviously waiting for Avery to drop by.

"Ah, Ms. Avery." Mr. Ivan's cold voice reached Avery's hot ears. "What a surprise to see you here in my office."

"What have you done to my friends?" Avery spoke with a cold tone. "And where are they?"

"There's no need to be so stubborn, girl. Your friends are fine."

"Where are they?"

"Why, they're right in her. Why don't I show them to you instead?"

Mr. Ivan pressed the button on his desk and out came six tubes. Inside each of the tubes were Woody, Wally, Kendall, Isis, Buzz and Gwen. All are frozen in their apparent, yet unique poses, and all cannot feel, see, smell, taste or hear anything while in this position.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM, YOU MONSTER?" Avery yelled as she ran towards Mr. Ivan to give him a sucker punch in the face, but Mr. Ivan stopped her by grabbing her hand.

"There's no need to get angry about it, my dear." Mr. Ivan spoke again. "It's a shame that they can't talk to you while being frozen like statues. Although on the other hand, they make great statues in my private home. Especially Gwen."

"What do you want then?"

Mr. Ivan lets out a wicked smile upon hearing Avery's question.

"Come with me Ms. Avery." Mr. Ivan said as he escorts Avery to a bigger room. "And I'll show you."

When Mr. Ivan and Avery went into a bigger room, they could see hundreds of winged men assembling something machinery and in the shape of a giant owl.

"Who's the big owl?" Avery asked.

"That big owl is Clockwerk, my dear." Mr. Ivan replied. "He was once a mortal Eurasian Eagle Owl back in Ancient Egypt but due to his hatred to the Cooper Clan that went on for generations, he replaced his body parts with advanced machinery in hopes that he would wipe out the Cooper Clan forever. But unfortunately, he got defeated and destroyed, twice."

"What's your plan?"

"My plan? I'm going to rebuild Clockwerk, and make him my second-in-command when I finally get both the Axle fortune and the world. I will enslave all mankind and make them do my bidding or be eliminated by Clockwerk."

"You can't be serious."

"Indeed I am serious. Now, Clockwerk is near complete, and all I needed to do is give him the perfect soul and then store it on the new and improved Hate Chip that I've created for Clockwerk himself."

"A soul?"

"Of course. All I have now to make the perfect soul is a mix of your friends' personalities – just a tiny bit won't hurt them."

"Why make a soul from my friends?"

"When your friends were captured and brought to me, Gwen included, I did some background research on five of your friends, looking for their deepest, darkest desires and then used those desires to make the most evil soul that man has even seen beneath this ancient bird."

Mr. Ivan then shows Avery her statue friends.

"Buzz Buzzard is a con artist and a criminal." Mr. Ivan explained. "His criminal skills are just as skilled and masterminded as an average Cooper. What made him into a criminal mastermind in the first place? The fatass we called thee Peter Griffin."

"Buzz already told me that." Avery noted. "In Quahog."

"Wally Walrus is your typical, average-looking neighbor, but he lacks any emotions like love or kindness. His lack of emotions would make an excellent ingredient to make the perfect soul for Clockwerk."

"Don't count on it, Mr. Ivan. Sooner or later, Wally will eventually gain a lot of emotions that this bird could not get on his own."

"Oh you think so? Let's move on shall we?"

"I'm listening."

"Kendall Perkins, class president of Mellowbrook Elementary. Smart, beautiful and a straight-A student. But wait, she's a bossy one, who likes to torture and ruin other children's fun and happiness. But what I don't get is that she may be your cousin Kick's arch-rival, but he is in love with her."

"Opposites attract. You should try it someday."

"Moving along, Isis Buttowski, your distant cousin from India. Am I right?"

"Yes. She even helped me get Gwen back, before you recaptured her yet again."

"True. But did you know that she was once born to a wealthy English family?"

"She never told me that."

"Let me explain. You see, shortly after her mother's death, Isis was tortured and abused horribly by her father and her spoiled brothers, just for being a girl. But not only that, everyone in India have grown to abuse and hate the young one for being half-human and half-ghost. She was a monster. A freak to them. Because of it, Isis herself decided to kill everyone in India, including her father and brothers. Soon afterwards, she started spreading the cold heart of hate to anyone who views her as a freak and she herself thinks that all ghosts, full and halfa, are more superior to those pathetic humans who show nothing more than sloth and ignorance. If a human dares to call her a freak, Isis would surely kill that human, showing him no mercy."

"And yet, you've planned on extracting all of her hate to Clockwerk."

"No, I've planned on merging Isis' body with Clockwerk's mechanical frame. Earlier when she was brought into me, I had a little chat with her and tried to convince her to merge her own body and hate to Clockwerk's mechanical frame, and be reborn again as _Clock-Isis. _I have given her the opportunity to gain immortality and use it to spread all of her hate across the world as an act of revenge for being viewed as s freak to them when she was a small child. But she had refused! Because of you and Gwen, Isis had learned the power of love and friendship! She said she'd rather _die_ as a statue than be reborn again as Clock-Isis!"

"And I support her for that choice. Deep inside the hate that Isis had consumed over the years, she had gained more love and emotions than Clockwerk would ever gain for he is full of hate."

"And yet she made the _poorest_ choice in her life. Continuing on, Woody Woodpecker, private eye detective of the Mellowbrook police and Interpol."

"And what deepest, darkest desire does Woody _have_?"

"Jealousy."

"Jealousy? Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not kidding. Jealousy is the answer. Three years ago, he had everything. A home, a good life, a family, a career, and a girlfriend named Winnie Woodpecker. But a few days before Winnie's birthday, Woody had lost the love of his life to another woodpecker, Wellsley, a man who is just as charming and popular than Woody himself. As the days, weeks, and months rolled by, Woody had consumed a lot of jealousy to the man who had taken away his love life. Like Isis, I had a little chat with him."

"What did you try to do to him this time? Convince him to merge his own body and jealousy to Clockwerk's mechanical frame and be reborn again as _Clock-Pecker_?"

"You've read my mind. I did try to convince him to do it, giving him a chance to get back at the man who had taken away the love of his life, and to show all females in the world that no one messes with him as he takes no for an answer."

"And yet, he refused to do so because had this feeling that he felt like a maple."

"A maple? Is this some sort of joke?"

"No. Despite what he formerly thinks about women ever since his loss, he had remembered the kindness and love that his elder sisters and I give him. I know that Woody's a good man and I know that he would never do such a terrible thing to other women, just because he lost Winnie to Wellsley three years ago."

"ENOUGH! I have heard quite enough about this … love talk!" Mr. Ivan's anger rose. "As soon as Clockwerk is reborn, I will finish you off, and end your misery and pain for all eternity! But there is one thing that needs to be done."

"And what's that?"

"I need to extract something from you."

"HA!" Avery gloated. "Good luck on trying to find my deepest, darkest desire. I got nothing."

"Oh, you think you're so confident?" Mr. Ivan smirked as he snaps his fingers and out came a winged man with a needle on his hand, and a small computer scanner.

"Scan her." Mr. Ivan ordered the small computer scanner. "I want to know what deepest, darkest desire she possessed."

The small computer scanner responds as it circles around Avery.

"_Scanning complete__." _Said the small computer scanner as it floats back to Mr. Ivan. _"Deepest, darkest desire is __**Anger.**_"

"We have found your deepest, darkest desire, my dear." Mr. Ivan said. "And since I am a fair man, I'll give you a choice. Donate some of your anger to Clockwerk, or have your friends suffer?"

"And what kind of suffering are you planning to do to my friends if I refuse?" Avery asked angrily.

Mr. Ivan then turns to one of his workers.

"Bring in the statue of Gwen Axle."

The worker responded as he brings out the statue of Gwen Axle. Mr. Ivan then puts on his shock gloves and with just a fingertip, touched Gwen's stone head, sending electrical currents all over the statue. Avery could hear a faint scream coming from the statue of Gwen Axle.

"If you refuse my offer," Mr. Ivan warned Avery. "A lot more of electrical currents would reduce Gwen to a pile of dust, and I will do the same to your friends."

But Avery can't take it anymore. She doesn't want to help Mr. Ivan bring Clockwerk to life, but she doesn't want to lose her friends either. Something must be done.

"STOP!" Avery shouted which stopped Mr. Ivan from zapping Gwen's statue further more. "I'll give Clockwerk my anger. Just leave my friends alone, Gwen included."

"Well now this isn't so hard." Mr. Ivan said as the winged man ejects a needle on Avery's arm and sucks a bit of Avery's anger inside the needle. "You have been quite a cooperative one."

Mr. Ivan then turns to his bodyguard and gives him a smirk that Avery couldn't see.

"Apprehend her."

The bodyguard responded as he grabs both of Avery's arms, and kept her from struggling.

"What gives?" Avery cried angrily as Mr. Ivan pulls out the Hate Chip.

"Oh, I'm just going to put your anger into this Hate Chip and insert it to Clockwerk." Mr. Ivan replied evilly. "And I certainly don't want you to try to stop me with your gun that bears no bullets."

Mr. Ivan then went closer to Clockwerk and before he inserts the Hate Chip on Clockwerk, he turns back to a struggling Avery who is being pushed inside a shatter-proof glass tube.

"If you are willing to escape from this tube, Ms. Avery, you might want to think again." Mr. Ivan warned Avery as he finally inserts the Hate Chip into Clockwerk's beak and went to his private helicopter. "This glass is shatter-proof and the only way to escape is if you're a ghost – full or halfa. But unfortunately, you have your disbelief on that. Ta-ta."

And with that, Mr. Ivan took off as Clockwerk is finally reborn with Buzz's criminal skills, Wally's lack of emotions, Kendall's bossiness, Isis' hate, Woody's jealousy and Avery's anger.

"Go forth, my Clockwerk, and spread all of your hate to the world!" Mr. Ivan shouted as Clockwerk flies up in the air. "Show them no mercy!"

"It shall be done, my glorious leader." Clockwerk said as he flies off to the skies.

()()()()()

In Mellowbrook, Gunther saw dark clouds from the distance.

"This can't be good." Gunther spoke quietly.

()()()()()

At the Mellowbrook Police Station, Carmelita saw the same thing.

"He's back." Carmelita spoke as well.

"Who's back?" Irwin asked.

"The robotic owl."

()()()()()

In China…

"What's going on?" Kick asked Annabelle while the two are in China and saw the same dark clouds from a distance.

"It's Clockwerk," Annabelle replied with shock on her face. "And he's back from the dead, for the _third _time …"

()()()()()

"… and now he's going to spread hate all across the globe." Avery spoke as she tries to find a way to get out of her prison. "And it's all my fault. If I had believed that I was a halfa sooner, none of this would have happened."

Then an idea stuck her head. She _is_ the halfa. She can escape from her prison by going through the glass. She turns intangible and went through the glass and escaped. When free, she thinks again and returns to normal.

"Now to free my friends." Avery spoke as she flies towards her statue friends. "But how?"

As Avery placed her hand on the statue of Gwen, she felt a warm glow flowing through Gwen, and later her friends. Sooner or later, Avery saw her friends moving again from their stone prisons. They're alive and free.

"Where are we?" Woody was the first to ask.

"No time to explain." Avery said as she flies up high. "Mr. Ivan has just rebuild Clockwerk and now we need to destroy the owl before he spreads all of his hate to the world."

"You, Isis and Woody are the only ones here that are ghosts." Wally explained. "You three must go and destroy that bird, while the rest of us get to safety."

Avery and the others agreed as Avery, Isis and Woody fly off to the skies to find Clockwerk, while Wally, Kendall, Gwen, and Buzz search for shelter with Austin helping them.

Woody, Isis and Avery are high in the dark, starry skies as they try to find Clockwerk.

"If I were an evil robotic owl, where would I be?" Avery thought as the three halfas try to find Clockwerk.

"What's the one place in the world that Clockwerk would go first?" Isis asked.

"Paris." Woody replied, answering Isis' question. "What else?"

As they fly east to Paris, Clockwerk and Mr. Ivan, in his helicopter, blocked their way.

"Never mind going to Paris, guys," Avery spoke as she eyed Clockwerk. "We've already found Clockwerk."

"My," Mr. Ivan spoke evilly to Avery while eying Woody and Isis. "Such a happy reunion, yet the two of your friends are following to your apparent doom, once Clockwerk managed to get rid of you and your ghostly friends. As for me, I'll be off to get the Axle fortune and become the world's newest king. Ta-ta!"

Mr. Ivan was about to fly away until something deadly and explosive hit the helicopter, sending Mr. Ivan down to the earth below. Down the earth below, Kendall was the one that shot down Mr. Ivan's helicopter by using a missile.

"Never mess with my friends, creep!" Kendall said as she handcuffs Mr. Ivan. "You're under arrest for kidnapping, attempting to steal all the money from the Axle family and plotting for world domination."

"You may have gotten me this time, Perkins," Mr. Ivan spoke evilly with a smirk forming across his face. "But Clockwerk shall forever live with _all _of his hate and no one can destroy him! NO ONE!"

Meanwhile, up in the skies, Avery, Isis and Woody are using their ghost powers to destroy Clockwerk, but with little results.

"It's no use." Isis cried. "Not a dent is made in Clockwerk's mechanical body."

"Then we must get the Hate Chip off of him." Avery cried as she flies closer to Clockwerk.

"Are you crazy?" Woody cried as he saw Avery fly closer to Clockwerk. "You'll get killed."

"I can do this Woody," Avery replied to Woody. "Trust me; it'll be like a maple."

Woody can only nod as Avery upgrades herself. Her clothes changed into what she could have imagined earlier when she saw her own reflection at the swamp. She wore a white poncho over a black jumpsuit and a beige cowgirl hat.

"It's time!" Avery shouted as she flies fast towards Clockwerk at the speed of light. By the time she came closer to Clockwerk, the owl had pulled out a missile and aimed it at Woody indirectly.

"Do what you must do!" Isis cried to Avery as she flies towards the falling woodpecker. "We'll be alright."

Avery could only nod as she continues on finding the Hate Chip. Waiting for a chance for Clockwerk to open up his beak, Avery flies inside his beak and did some massive damage while pulling out the Hate Chip.

"You cannot defeat me, young one!" Clockwerk shouted as his frame self-destructs. "I am immortal! _IMMORTAL!_"

Avery, with the Hate Chip in her hand, watch as Clockwerk falls down to the earth below where Mr. Ivan and the rest of the gang are, now with ghosts that have been freed from their prison. But using so much power to do some massive destruction on Clockwerk, even before getting the Hate Chip, have worn her out as she slowly faints and falls down to the earth below. Before Avery's body could hit the ground, someone managed to catch her, the Hate Chip still inside Avery's hands.

* * *

><p>"So what happened to Avery?" Splinter asked. "Is she going to be alright?"<p>

"And who is the mysterious person that saved Avery?" Knothead asked.

"That mysterious person is the love of my life, Marilyn Buttowski." Buzz explained. "It turns out that she too, is a halfa. And I've got to admit it, I'm in love."

"Buzz and Marilyn had this big conversation that neither of us could understand." Woody explained as well. "Truth is told that they were meant for each other."

"As for Avery, she's alright," Wally said. "It took us about two days for Avery to recover and figure out what to do with this Hate Chip that she had taken from Clockwerk …"

* * *

><p>Two days later, Avery recovered fully as the gang decided on what to do with the Hate Chip while getting ready to return home to Mellowbrook by driving in one of the huge cars that Marcus had given to the gang as a gift for saving Gwen.<p>

"We should destroy it." Wally suggested. "That way, Clockwerk won't be reborn again."

"It may be possible," Gwen spoke. "But it's most likely that if Mr. Ivan broke out of prison and the Hate Chip is destroyed, he would go to great lengths to make another one and extract other people's deepest, darkest desires such as hate, anger, jealousy, bossiness, criminal skills and lack of emotions."

"So what do we do with it?" Buzz asked. "We can't just throw it out and leave it as it is."

"What if we lock it away, so that no one would ever attempt to find it or take it for evil?" Woody suggested.

"Woody," Kendall spoke. "You're a genius."

"But where should we lock it?" Isis asked. "There's no way we're locking that chip in the eastern countries. There are too much criminal masterminds down there as it is."

"What if we lock in in an underground chamber?" Marilyn suggested. "We Buttowskis tend to lock away most of our prized possessions that are deemed too evil and unstable to handle with mankind, deep underground in our own vault. Then whoever locks the cursed possession away shall its guardian and he shall be the only one who would unlock the possession, no one else."

"And since Avery is the one who took the Hate Chip away from Clockwerk," Isis spoke as she looked at Avery.

"Then I would be the Hate Chip's guardian?" Avery finished. "And only I can decide on whether or not the Hate Chip should be locked away?"

"Precisely." Marilyn replied.

"Where's the underground vault?"

"Directly below Devil's Grave, Mellowbrook to be precise."

The gang had a heart-warming laugh at this. They are going back home to Mellowbrook, yet the underground vault is under Devil's Grave, also in Mellowbrook.

"Whatever happened to Mr. Ivan?" Kendal asked. "Not like I'm worried about him or something."

"Interpol had taken him to custody in Paris yesterday, thanks to Carmelita Fox." Woody replied. "With Mr. Ivan behind bars, Gwen and her family are safe once more."

"Agreed." Isis replied. "And I've got to admit, if felt like a maple."

"Yeah." Avery said as everyone gets inside their car. "Let's go home."

Wally sets the car to drive as the gang took the road back home to Mellowbrook.

_**(Author's Note: The version of this song is Shelby Flint's. Look it up on YouTube.)**_

_The mist of May is in the gloamin',and all the clouds are holdin' still  
>So take my hand and let's go roamin' through the heather on the hill.<br>The mornin' dew is blinkin' yonder, there's lazy music in the rill,  
>And all I want to do is wander through the heather on the hill.<em>

_There may be other days as rich and rare,  
>There may be other springs as full and fair,<br>But they won't be the same, they'll come and go  
>For this I know;<em>

_That when the mist is in gloamin'  
>And all the clouds are holdin' still,<br>If you're not there I won't go roamin' through the heather on the hill, _

_There may be other days as rich and rare,  
>There may be other springs as full and fair,<br>But they won't be the same, they'll come and go  
>For this I know;<em>

_That when the mist is in gloamin'  
>And all the clouds are holdin' still,<br>If you're not there I won't go roamin' through the heather on the hill,  
>The heather on the hill.<em>

* * *

><p>"And so, we all went back home to Mellowbrook, and Avery locked the Hate Chip away in her family's underground vault and became its guardian." Woody concluded his story. "Gwen is safe with Kat once more. Clockwerk's frame is locked away in a maximum security prison on a deserted island. Mr. Ivan is behind bars for good. And of course, we solved the case."<p>

"But there's one thing that's been bothering me to ask." Knothead spoke to Woody. "What about the disappearance of the red-haired women in the USA?"

"Oh that," Buzz replied. "It turns out that Quagmire is behind the disappearance of the red-haired women. Carmelita told us about that just before we went home."

"Quagmire was obviously looking for a rich one so that he can have sex with her and steal her entire fortune." Wally explained. "And let me tell ya. If Gwen was kidnapped by Quagmire instead of Mr. Ivan, then this whole case would've gone so differently because Quagmire is not that much of a sinister threat than either Mr. Ivan or Clockwerk."

"And I agree on that one." Woody replied before turning to Knothead and Splinter. "So what do you think kids?"

"Your detective story is absolutely amazing, Uncle Woody." Splinter replied happily. "You and the others risked your own lives to save one girl and later the entire world."

"Are you still hurt after that lightning thing or something?" Knothead asked.

"Nah, I got healed days ago." Woody answered. "But the missile one, well, I'm still working on getting recovered."

"So what are Avery and Kendall up to now?"

"We'll just have to wait and see. Until then, I've got another case to crack with Interpol in Paris right now."

And with that, Woody grabs his jacket and flies out of the door, but not before giving us a woodpecker laugh.

"Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, ha-ha-ha-HA-ha, hahahahahahaha!"

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Avery and Kendall are at the BattleSnax, waiting to get their orders when all of a sudden, Kick and Annabelle walked in.

"Hi guys," Kick spoke for the first time in a few days.

Upon hearing Kick's voice, Gunther, who is busy washing the dishes, ran out from the kitchen and hugged Kick.

"Kick! Annabelle!" Gunther cried happily as he hugs Kick and later Annabelle. "I'm so glad to see you guys!"

"Where were you guys?" Kendall asked. "We haven't heard a word from you yesterday."

"We were in China at that time." Annabelle answered. "And it was our most epic adventure yet."

"But while we're there, we saw those dark clouds from the distance." Kick added. "It's like that evil is beginning to rise and bring massive destruction to the world."

"Well, that evil thing, or whatever won't be back for a long time." Avery replied while smirking. "And I can promise you that."

"So tell us about your adventure in China." Kendall asked Kick and Annabelle. "We missed you guys."

"Well, it's a long and awesome story." Annabelle spoke. "You got any gum?"

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

"Why should it be my fault, Winnie!" Wellsley yelled as he storms out of Winnie's house. "You're the one who acts like a bitch!"

"Why the hell would you cheat on me after all the things I did for you for three years, you beast!" Winnie yelled.

"Because I am a _man, _unlike that wimpy Woody who was once your boyfriend!"

"At least he has a heart, unlike someone I know."

"Y'know what?"

"What?"

"We're through!"

"Good. Get the hell out of my property before I call the police!"

Wellsely could only storm out of the house and drove away as Winnie shuts the door behind her. Wanting to get Wellsley out of her mind, she decided to call Woody in hopes that he would forgive her, but all she could hear was this,

"_Woody Woodpecker had another case to crack with Interpol in Paris and won't be back until further notice. Please leave him a message."_

"Woody, it's me, Winnie." Winnie puts down her message. "If you get this message, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for being a bitch to you. If you could look into your heart, could you forgive me for being a bitch to you for three years? Please get this when you're on the phone. It's been so long since we've last talked."

And with that, Winnie hung up the phone.


	31. Ramps of Horror 2

_**All is quiet and still in the old theatre room with the red curtains dangling from the stage. Suddenly, the curtains move and out came a woman who looks like an average mother. She is no other than Miss Honey Buttowski.**_

_**Honey: Good evening everyone. As you all know, this is the second **__**Ramps of Horror **__**in our series of tales, and we all know that Halloween is a very strange holiday. Personally, some of us parents don't understand it. Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils. Oooh, things on TV and books that are **__**completely **__**inappropriate for younger viewers and readers. Things like the following half-hour or a novel. But nothing seems to bother **__**my **__**kids. But tonight's tale, which I totally wash my fingerprints of, is really scary. So if you have sensitive children looking at your typical computer screen, maybe you should tuck them into bed early tonight instead of writing us angry comments and reviews tomorrow. Thank you for your attention.**_

()()()()()

It was a dark and stormy night in Mellowbrook as most of the kids and some of the adults went out trick-or-treating while some attended scary parties. However, a huge ghost with pink feet came to a stop at a certain tree house, just a few feet away from the main house - the tree house of Knothead and Splinter Woodpecker. When the ghost takes off his white sheet, the person behind the sheet is no other than Murray Hippo - the muscle of the infamous Cooper Gang.

"Oh boy, what a haul this year." Murray said as he looks as his sack full of goodies. "I _love _Halloween."

Then Murray spots the light on Knothead and Splinter's tree house and investigates.

"I wonder what Knothead and Splinter are up to in there." Murray said as he climbs up onto the branch.

Inside the tree house are Knothead and Splinter, each telling different ghost stories. The inside is covered with candles, pumpkins and spooky decorations.

"...and then, the doctor turns to his patient and said something that would make the patient pee his pants." Splinter told her story to Knothead. "_'Detective Winthrop, I am sorry to say this but, I'm afraid we'll have to remove your brain until further notice.'_ And then, he had done it. He had removed Winthrop's brain and in less than 3 seconds, the doctor _ate his brain._"

"Geez that doesn't scare me," Knothead said to Splinter after Splinter had finished her story. "Not even one bit."

"Well if you're so confident," Splinter spoke. "Why don't you tell a scarier story?"

"Maybe I will. Flashlight please."

Splinter hands Knothead the flashlight and then Knothead pointed the light directly on his face.

"Here's a story that is scary, so scary that you will wet your pants." Knothead begins.

"But we're not wearing pants." Splinter replied.

_And it's not like were hiding something. _Murray thought, agreeing with Splinter. _Sly and I never wear pants, but we've got nothing to hide. Bentley on the other hand … well, he wore a turtle shell for crying out loud._

"Well no matter," Knothead spoke again. "This is about a retired, but wicked teacher who returns to school as the substitute principal and have all the teachers in school eat misbehaving children for lunch. I call this one …"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hell School<strong>_

Everything started normally at Mellowbrook Elementary until on this particular day, a certain old lady who goes by the name of Ms. Chicarelli takes one step inside the school and the whole school started to change from its normal trance to the beginning of a nightmare.

As Ms. Chicarelli walks to the front office, she is halted by the secretary, Mrs. Hoova.

"Hello my good lady," Ms. Chicarelli said to Mrs. Hoova. "I'm Ms. Chicarelli and I'm here to be Principal Henry's substitute until he gets back from his 3-month vacation."

"Have you by any chance have skills to be the principal Ms. Chicarelli?" asked Mrs. Hoova.

"Well I have been giving the students a lot of discipline back in my days. I used to work here as a teacher until I retired."

"Well in that case m'am, you're officially hired."

"Thank you and may I give you a promotion one day."

"Oh thank you Ms. Chicarelli. You'll be the best principal that everyone has ever seen."

"Yes. Yes I will."

()()()()()

Several days later, (better known as Principal Chicarelli) had run the school with an iron fist much stronger than how Pantsy runs at the movie theatre. Some of the kids started being good while others kept on being mischievous thus getting send to detention which for crazy reasons starts filling up.

On this particular, Kick Buttowski and his pal Gunther had decided to pull off a stunt in the hallways while everyone else is still in the classroom.

"Is the stunt ready?" Kick asked Gunther while getting on his Ol' Blue.

"Yes Kick," Gunther replied giving Kick thumbs up. "The stunt is ready."

Kick started skating across the floor which was covered in ketchup and mustard, jumps up halfway and did a backward flip 10 times.

"AWESOME!" Kick cried as he landed on the floor and did his regular pose.

But then, there was a shadow behind him. Kick turned around and saw Principal Chicarelli who looks 10 times scarier than her old self.

"Kick Buttowski!" Principal Chicarelli said in a voice that would chill the children's spines. "You made a complete mess in our fine hallways and you sneaked out of your class! Just for that, you are to be sent to detention where you await your punishment!"

"Aw biscuits," Kick said as he gloomily walks to the detention room.

But as Principal Chicarelli and Kick walked to the detention room, they discovered that the detention room is filled with misbehaving children. Principal Chicarelli was disappointed.

"Sorry Kick but you'll be serving time in the cafeteria," said Principal Chicarelli.

"Oxygen … running out." Cried a little boy.

"_YES _you should've thought about that _before _you made that paper airplane!" Ms. Chicarelli barked at the little boy.

()()()()()

As Kick finds a seat in the cafeteria, Principal Chicarelli noticed that the cafeteria is also getting full.

"The cafeteria is also filling up," Principal Chicarella said.

"Well that makes the two of us m'am," said Lunch Lady Lois as she holds a big pot tightly. "Thanks to the school's tight budget, we're cut down to serving grade F meat."

"Wouldn't it be a miracle if something solves both our problems Lois?"

"That would be great."

As Lunch Lady Lois walks past some of the tables, one of the older boys named Nelson decided to have a little fun while he's here.

"Hey Kick," Nelson said to Kick. "Watch this."

Kick watched as Nelson trips Lunch Lady Lois. Lunch Lady Lois falls and accidentally spilled some beans on Nelson. Principal Chicarelli is furious.

"Nelson Jimbo!" Principal Chicarelli yelled as she shakes Nelson. "This is far the worst-"

But Principal Chicarelli felt some beans in her hands and licks them off. To her amazement, the beans are delicious when poured on a child.

"Uh Nelson," Princial Chicarelli said to Nelson in a calm voice. "Why don't you assist Lunch Lady Lois in the kitchen?"

"Bite me old hag!" Nelson yelled back.

"Well bite me back."

()()()()()

In the kitchen, Nelson is forced to clean the inside of a life-sized pot. Nelson doesn't like the part where Lunch Lady Lois keeps spilling meat tenderizer all over him.

"It's hard for me to clean this giant pot when you keep spilling meat tenderizer all over me," Nelson whined.

Just then, someone whacks Nelson in the head with a big pan and Nelson falls inside the pot.

"Oh great," Nelson whined as he loses consciousness. "Now I have to work in the dark."

As Nelson finally loses consciousness and lays still as dead, Lunch Lady Lois pour some of the hot boiling water in the pot to boil him to death and shuts the pot tightly so that Nelson can't get out. When Nelson is finally boiled and dead, Lunch Lady Lois takes his body out of the pot and starts cooking him into a hamburger. Behind her was Principal Chicarelli who watches her cook with amusement.

()()()()()

"Lunch is served," said Lunch Lady Lois as she gives each teacher an unusual hamburger.

The teachers take a bite from their hamburgers to see what they tasted like. The results - the hamburgers were so delicious.

"Principal Chicarelli," said a bloated teacher named Mr. Gluttony. "What's with the good grub?"

"Well it's time I let you all in a little secret," Principal Chicarelli said to the teachers. "Do you remember saying to Nelson Jimbo that I make something out of him one day?"

"Gasp! You meant to tell us that you killed Nelson, boiled him alive, cooked him and served him for lunch?"

Principal Chicarelli nodded greedily. The teachers were very amused and continued on greedily eating the unusual hamburgers. When they were done, the teacher discuss on whom should they eat next.

"How about that Magnuson boy Gunther?" Mr. Gluttony suggested. "He's fat, soft and tender for someone from the old country."

"No, that'll never do!" cried Mrs. Pride. "He's too good to be cooked early!"

"Mrs. Pride is right!" said Mr. Wrath. "All the kids that are delicious must be served later on!"

"Well then how about that Switzerland girl Gladys?" suggested Mr. Sloth. "She's ten times fatter, softer and tender than Magnuson!"

"Yes but we must not eat her right away!" replied Ms. Envy. "Even she must be served last!"

"How about a certain Kick Buttowski?" suggested Ms. Greed. "He's the real troublemaker around here!"

"True but no," answered Ms. Lust. "Even if he's not fat, soft and tender like Magnuson and Gladys, he's much too good looking to be cooked."

"Then how about his elder brother Brad?" asked Mr. Wrath. "He's much the ugly one!"

"Have you already forgotten that he's in high school you fat idiot?" cried Mrs. Pride.

"Well then who should we eat next?" cried Ms. Greed.

"I know!" said Mr. Sloth. "How about that Mouth kid?"

"What a splendid idea Mr. Sloth!" relied Ms. Envy. "We shall eat him right away!"

"Yes, yes we shall!" said Mr. Gluttony.

"We will eat him right away at lunch!" exclaimed Ms. Lust.

()()()()()

Later at lunch, Lunch Lady Lois served the students the same hamburgers that were served to the teacher earlier. As Kick was given the hamburger, he noticed something weird.

"That's strange," Kick whispered to his friend Gunther. "Nelson isn't here. He should've beaten some of the kids for lunch money right now."

"Yeah," Gunther replied. "I wonder what happened to him."

Just then, Mouth cuts in line.

"Excuse me miss," Mouth asked. "Can I have another Nelson hamburger?"

Lunch Lady Lois sighed as she gives Mouth another hamburger.

Just then as Mouth eats his hamburger, Mr. Sloth walked towards him.

"I've seen that you've liked Lois' hamburger so far Chirstopher," Mr. Sloth said. "But you've just cut in line. Report to detention immediately!"

Mouth shrugged as he walks out of the cafeteria and into the detention room to await his punishment.

()()()()()

As Mouth walks inside the detention room, someone knocks him out cold with a frying pan. As Mouth is knocked out cold, the detention door closed to reveal that Mr. Wrath was the one who knock Mouth out.

"Sweet dreams Christopher," Mr. Wrath whispered in Mouth's ear. "Cause this'll be the last dream you'll have."

So Mr. Wrath grabbed Mouth's body and threw him in the big pot to prepare to cook him alive.

()()()()()

Later in the library, Kendall is tutoring Gladys to prepare her for an upcoming test. But Kendall finds tutoring Gladys hard as Gladys kept on eating like a pig and getting fatter, softer and tender than before.

"Will you stop eating for once?" Kendall asked Gladys. "We're in the library and you need to pass the history test!"

"Why bother Kandy?" Gladys replied with her mouth is full. "Food is more important than history y'know."

Just then, Mr. Gluttony walked by and saw an annoyed Kendall and a glutinous Gladys.

"I can't help but seeing you eat those candies that are making you fat, soft and tender," Mr. Gluttony said to Gladys. "And since you're eating in the library which is against the rules, you are to report to detention at once!"

"For how long?" Gladys asked.

"Oh I say 7 minutes a pound should do it."

()()()()()

As Gladys entered the detention room, she is welcomed by Ms. Greed and Ms. Envy.

"Why hello my dear lamb," Ms. Greed said in a kind voice. "It's quite a shame that you have to be here for a while."

"Yes." Gladys said. "Yes it is."

"Well do you like sugary sweets my dear?" Ms. Envy asked sweetly.

"I sure do m'am." replied Gladys.

"Well then, have all the sweets in the world!"

So Ms. Greed shows Gladys a huge pile of sugary sweets. Gladys cried joyfully as she starts eating like a pig. Soon, Gladys is all bloated up like a big balloon.

"Oh my tummy hurts," Gladys cried from her tight, pudgy head.

"Oh I'm sure we'll fix you right up my dear," Ms. Greed said sweetly as she opens an even bigger pot. "We'll put you inside this lovely pot and pour some medicine in there. Then you'll be good as new."

"Okay but I can't move."

"Oh we'll fix that my dear child," said Ms. Envy. "I'll help you get inside the pot in no time."

Gladys nodded as Ms. Envy picks her up and placed her inside the pot. Then Ms. Greed grabbed some hot boiling water and poured them all over Gladys.

"Ow!" cried Gladys. "The medicine's too hot!"

But Ms. Greed and Ms. Envy didn't paid attention to Gladys. Instead, they closed the pot shut as Gladys screams in pain until she is boiled alive.

()()()()()

Several hours later, Ms. Fitzpatrick who is now bloated from eating a lot of children writes on the board to her students. Only Kick, Gunther, Kendall, Ronaldo, Emo Kid and Jackie remained alive.

"Okay," Ms. Fitzpatrick said to her students. "For homework, I want you to eat a stick of chocolate, caramel and vanilla and write a report on it by tomorrow! Any objections?"

Jackie started going insane, Emo Kid shivers in fear while Ronaldo blabs about physics. Just then, Mrs. Pride walked by and is also fat.

"I see that Jackie, Ronaldo and that Emo kid are causing havoc Ms. Fitzpatrick," Mrs. Pride said.

"Mmm hmm," Ms. Fitzpatrik replied.

"They should be in detention am I correct?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Then it's settles. Jackie, Ronaldo and that Emo boy sitting beside Magnuson. Report to detention at once!"

The three shrugged as they got out of their desks and followed Mrs. Pride.

As Kick, Gunther and Kendall worked on their schoolwork, Gunther noticed Ms. Fitzpatrick reading a magazine. On the front cover was Gunther posing as a cooked turkey with an apple in his mouth. He was horrified at this.

"Hey guys," Gunther whispered to Kick and Kendall. "We must get away from the school if we want to remain alive."

Kick and Kendall nodded as the three quietly got out of their desks and went into the hallway. As they sneak pass the detention room, Kick took a peak and was horrified to see what's inside. There were some kids locked in cages while some were forced to eat an excessive amount of food and get butchered. Just then, a hand touched Kick's shoulder. It was Ms. Lust, also fatten up by eating children.

"I see you discovered our plans eh?" Ms. Lust said to Kick. "Well it's about time you get punished!"

But before Ms. Lust could grab Kick, Kick punches her in the face and made a run for it, catching up to Gunther and Kendall in the process.

"Run?" Gunther asked.

"Run." Kick answered as Gunther and Kendall run with Kick, running away from the teachers who are now fatten and zombie-like.

"Must eat children." The teachers chanted as they chase after Kick, Gunther and Kendall. "Must eat children."

Kick, Gunther and Kendall ran and ran until they are cornered at the plank in the gym where right below them is the giant blender, made to kill children. Principal Chicarelli turns the food processor on to '_gooify'_ and backs Kick, Gunther and Kendall to the edge of the plank.

"Don't worry guys." Kick said to Gunther and Kendall. "Something _always _comes along to save us."

But instead, Gunther falls off from the plank and into the blender, thus getting killed in the process.

"Uh, nevertheless, I remain confident that something will come along and save the fans' favorite pairing…" Kick spoke again.

But the bloated teachers came closer and closer and then, they forced Kick and Kendall off of the plank and into the blender, killing the two remaining children in the process.

* * *

><p>"And so," Knothead concluded his story. "All the kids in the school were eaten by the fat teachers, thanks to Principal Chicarelli. The end."<p>

_I bet all those fat teachers died from heart failures. _Murray though after hearing Knothead's story. It was scary for him, despite being a tough hippo that cracks skulls during big heists. _I'm just glad Mrs. Puffin didn't eat us during our childhood at the orphanage._

But then, the tree branch that Murray was on snapped. Murray lets out a cry as he falls down from the tree, which then caught Knothead and Splinter's attention. They are surprised to see Murray, the muscle of the Cooper Gang, lying on their backyard.

"Murray!?" Splinter and Knothead cried at the same time. "What are you doing here?"

"I was out trick-or-treating and was about to call it for the night, when I noticed a light coming from your tree house." Murray explained. "Being curious, I thought I'd drop by and listen to your scary stories. And oddly enough, one of your stories got me scared on that spot."

"See Splinter," Knothead spoke to Splinter. "I can tell a scarier story than your last one."

"Are you kids going to call the cops or something?" Murray asked nervously.

"…and miss out on the fun?" Knothead spoke to Murray. "Now why would we want to do that kind of thing on Halloween?"

"Come on in." Splinter said as Murray gets inside the tree house.

"This is going to be fun." Knothead said excitedly until he spots Splinter reading a book. "Uh what's that?"

"A book by Edgar Allen Poe." Splinter replied.

"Is that's a school book that we read in class? The same one Brianna threw it out from the window last week because she lost the beauty pageant?"

"Yes. Yes it is. But don't worry, you won't learn anything."

"What's the story you're reading called?" Murray asked.

"This tale is called _**The Raven.**_ Once upon a midnight dreary …"

* * *

><p>… while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. Sorry for my rudeness. I believe I am a box turtle who goes by the name Bentley Wiseturtle. While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.<p>

"Tis some visitor," I muttered. "Tapping at my chamber door – only this and nothing more."

* * *

><p>"Are we scared yet?" Murray asked Splinter.<p>

"Not yet." Splinter replied. "He's establishing mood here."

* * *

><p>Ah, distinctly I remember it was the bleak December; and each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow from my books surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the lost Penelope Mouse.<p>

"Oh Penelope …" I cried.

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Penelope – nameless here for evermore. And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each emerald curtain thrilled me – filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before. So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,

"Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door. Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door. This is it and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer.

"Sir? Said I. "Or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; but the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, and so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, that I scarce was sure I heard you."

Here I opened wide the door.

Darkness there and nothing more.

* * *

><p>"You know what's scarier than nothing?" Knothead asked Splinter.<p>

"What?" Splinter asked.

"_Anything!"_

* * *

><p>Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token. And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,<p>

"Penelope!"

This I whispered and an echo murmured back the word,

"Penelope!"

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning. Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

"Surely," said I. "Surely that is something at my window lattice. Let me see then, what thereat is, and the mystery explore. Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore. Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, in there stepped a stately raven (_**A/N:**_ _**Woody Woodpecker played this role**_) of the saintly days of yore. He has quite a charming ebony topknot pushed forward. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he. But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door, perched upon a bust of Thaddeus Cooper III just above my chamber door. Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, by the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.

"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said. "Art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore. Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"

Quote the raven, "Guess who?"

* * *

><p>"Knothead!" Splinter yelled at Knothead for interrupting the story. "The raven says <em>'nevermore'<em> and nothing else."

"Fine." Knothead shrugged as Splinter continues with the story.

* * *

><p>Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, though its answer little meaning – little relevancy bore. For we cannot help agreeing that no living being ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door. Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door, with such name as <em>Nevermore<em>.

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, that one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered – not a feather then he fluttered – till I scarcely more than muttered,

"Other friends have flown before. On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."

Then the bird said,

"Nevermore."

Startled as the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken.

"Doubtless," said I. "What it utters is its only stock and store, caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore. Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore of _'Never-nevermore'_"

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling. Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of the bird and bust and door; then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore. What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore meant in croaking _'nevermore'._

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing to the fowl whose fiery emerald eyes now burned into my bosom's core; this and more I sat diving, with my head as ease reclining on the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp – light gloated over, but whose velvet violet lining with the lamp –light gloating over, _she _shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought , the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer swung by the angelic Sly Cooper whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

"Wretch," I cried. "Thy God hath lent thee –by the angel he has sent thee respite – respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Penelope! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost, Penelope!"

Quote the raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I. "Thing of evil! Prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us –by that God we both adore. Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, it shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Penelope – clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Penelope?"

Quote the raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked upstarting. "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! Quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"

Quote the raven, "Nevermore."

"Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"

Quote the raven, "Nevermore."

"Why you little…!"

"Uh-oh!"

I lunged for the raven, who flitted off. I chased the raven across and around the room, but it remains barely out of my reach.

"Come back here you little raven!" I shouted, making a mess of my chamber.

I threw a potted plant at the raven, but the wretched raven dodged it and hit me on my turtle green head. I continued to chase after the raven, but it seems that the raven have plucked books from the shelf and dropped each and every one of them on me until I chased the raven no more.

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting on the pallid bust of Thaddeus just above my chamber door. And his emerald eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, and the lamp-light over him streaming throws his shadow on the floor. And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall be lifted – nevermore!

"Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha!" Quote the raven.

* * *

><p>"I've got to admit that was scary." Knothead said as Splinter finished reading the tale. "Even for a poem."<p>

"Well it was written in 1845." Splinter noted. "It was scarier to people back then."

"Oh yeah. Like when you look at _Nightmare on Elm Street. _Pretty tame by today's standards."

"It looks like we've got one more story to tell before we call it a night." Splinter turns to Murray. "How about you tell us a story Murray?"

"Me? Tell a story?" Murray asked. "Sure. I've got one right here. I call this one …"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Witch or Treat<strong>_

The year is 1649 in a small town called Mellowbrook. Although at first it seemed peaceful, but there's more to this town than meets the eyes. Here we see a town gathering as the townspeople see three women, all in their adulthood, tied up to three different stakes with piles of hay circling around each bounded woman.

"Ms. Chicarelli, Ms. Fitzpatrick and Ms. Meany," Mayor Henry of the town spoke to all three bounded women. "You are all hereby found guilty with the crime of witchcraft. I sentence you wicked hags to be burned at the stake until you are deemed fit to re-enter society!"

"Fire it up men!" Carmelita Fox, the town police said to fellow policemen Mack and Irwin.

Mack and Irwin do so and so, everyone watched as the fire burns Ms. Chicarelli, Ms. Fitzpatrick and Ms. Meany.

"See you in Hell, Woodpecker!" Ms. Meany yelled her last words to Woody Woodpecker.

"Goodbye, Meany." Woody replied happily.

But among the angry mob, a few people don't like what was going on – Kick, Brianna, Kendall and Avery.

"Oh dear God," Avery said sadly as she watches the burning of three accused women.

"This is terrible." Kick added.

"If they really were witches, why don't they use their _powers _to escape?" Brianna asked.

"Hmmm," Brad heard Brianna's answer. "That sounds like witch-talk to me, dearest sister."

"Never mind".

"Well that's 75 witches we've processed." Harold said to Honey. "That will show God whose side we're on, eh, Honey?"

"Yes dear," Honey replied. "But we have many more strumpets to incinerate."

()()()()()

At the local church where the townspeople are gathered once again.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Bentley the turtle priest spoke to the townspeople. "There is _still _a witch among us."

"Let us open the floor to wild accusations." Mayor Henry announced.

"Yeah Brad!" Brad yelled cheerfully as he rose up from the seats. "I accuse Mrs. Gibble!"

But discussions were heard from the attendance. They are unsure of Mrs. Gibble being a witch.

"I accuse Constable Neyla." Wally Walrus said.

"Uh, we've killed her last Sunday" Sly Cooper told Wally.

"Well, there must be someone we can accuse." Carmelita replied, getting a little impatient.

"Kendall Perkins!" Johnny Test yelled from the back.

"Quit it Johnny!" Kendall yelled at Johnny who then jumps out of the seat.

"She put a spell on me!"

Johnny then acts like he has been brainwashed.

"Must … drop … pantaloons."

Johnny starts dropping pants, but Avery grabs him before he can.

"Now let's come to our senses everyone." Avery spoke to the townspeople. "This witch-hunt is turning into a circus."

"She's the witch!" Wacky Jackie shouted, obviously accusing Avery.

The townspeople agreed on accusing Avery as the witch.

"This is crazy!" Avery yelled. "I'm not a witch!"

"Ha! Then how come you have such short _boyish_ hair, tanned skin and indigo eyes?" Winnie Woodpecker yelled at Avery.

"Burn her!" The townspeople yelled.

"Everyone! Let us not turn into an angry mob!" Mayor Henry cried.

The townspeople immediate stop yelling and sit down.

"Avery Buttowski is entitled to due process!"

()()()()()

Later, the townspeople are gathered as they see Carmelita, Mack and Irwin cornering Avery at the edge of a cliff with a broom in her hand.

"Okay, here's how the process work." Carmelita told Avery. "You sit on the broom and we shove you off the cliff."

"What?" Avery yelled in shock.

"Well, here me out. If you are innocent, like you said you are, you will fall to an honorable Christian death. But if you are a witch, you will surely fly your broom to safety. But you will have to report back here for punishment."

"Tough but fair." Wally spoke.

"Wait!" Kick cried as he defends Avery. "Doesn't the Bible say _'Judge not lest ye be judged'_?"

"The Bible says a lot of things kid," Carmelita replied to Kick before turning to Mack and Irwin. "Shove her!"

Mack and Irwin obeyed and they pushed Avery off the cliff. A few of her friends screamed, having to witness a horrible death. Avery also screams as she falls into her apparent doom.

"We have done the Lord's work," Bentley said to the townspeople. "We have sent a good woman into his-"

But Bentley wasn't finished as Avery, now green-skinned and wearing a black dress and pointy hat, flies from the cliff bottom back to the top. The crowd gasps as Avery cackles.

"Okay," Brad spoke nervously. "Now, let's not jump to conclusions, everyone."

"Well I'll be," Johnny spoke with a smile on his face. "A witch's boyfriend."

"That's right everyone, I'm a witch!" Avery spoke evilly. "I'm the one who withered your livestock, soured your sheep's milk and made your shirt itchy!"

"Hey!" Mr. Vickle yelled. "You destroyed my rose garden!"

"No, that was rats."

"Impossible," Wally explained. "We burned all the rats!"

"Not _all _of them." Avery said as she turns Wally into a large, human-sized rat with a big mustache.

"And this is for pushing me off the cliff!" Avery shouted as she turns Mack into a tuxedo-wearing bear and Irwin into a fairy otter.

"Alright everyone, nothing to see here." Mack spoke to the townspeople.

"Yeah, show's over folks." Irwin replied. "Move along."

"As for the rest of you …" Avery spoke once more before unleashing a horde of bats and sent them into chasing the townspeople away. Then Avery flies away.

()()()()()

In a spooky cave somewhere, two witches, Isis and Amelia are cooking over a cauldron. Amelia takes a sip from the cauldron.

"Mmm. This needs more eye-of-newt." Amelia told Isis.

"You always want more eye-of-newt." Isis replied to Amelia. "If it were up to you, the brew would be nothing but newt-eyes."

As Isis and Amelia continue cooking, Avery flies in and she looks tired.

"Well look who it is!" Isis spoke after seeing Avery inside the cave. "If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a rat!"

"What a day…" Avery spoke. "They found out I was a witch so I had to leave my family and friends."

"Really?" Amelia cried happily. "So you finally left Donny."

"His name is Johnny."

()()()()()

Meanwhile in the Gibble home, Mr. and Mrs. Gibble is looking up at the cave where the witches reside, worried about the not-to-distant future.

"Oh honey. Look at them up there, plotting our doom." Mrs. Gibble cried. "They could force us to commit rotten acts!"

"Pf, yeah, that'll be the day." Mr. Gibble spoke quietly.

"What was that?"

"Uh, we shouldn't fear the witches, dear! We're already 39, we've both gone way past our life-expectancy."

"But think of the children. I heard that witches come to people's homes, take their children away and eat them!"

However, the witches heard everything from their cauldron.

"Mmmmm, eat their children." Isis muttered.

"Jeez … we were just going to swipe their shoes." Amelia added.

"But a good idea is a good idea."

The witches take to the skies on their brooms, cackling until they touch the ground outside the Gibble house, where they stop cackling immediately. Isis knocks the door.

"Who is it?" Mr. Gibble's voice was heard from the inside.

"Witches." Amelia, Isis and Avery replied.

"What do you want?" Mrs. Gibble's voice was heard also.

"We're here to eat your children." Avery replied.

"Okay, come on in …" Mr. Gibble said as he opens a door and shows the witches the crucifix. "And take a look at this!"

"Oh puh-lease." Amelia spoke as she pushes Mr. Gibble aside, not amused at Mr. Gibble's act.

After all three witches are inside, Mr. and Mrs. Gibble's children, Gordie and Alicia came walking downstairs and went to their parents.

"Mother," Gordie cried with a snobby tone. "What are those hags doing in here?"

"What do they want from us?" Alicia cried. "I'm scared."

"Make with the kids!" Isis demanded as she and Amelia each held a sack. "We're getting impatient."

Alicia was the first to respond Isis's demand as she gets inside Isis' sack.

"Don't blame yourself, father," Alicia told her grieving father. "You did the best you can."

But Gordie didn't budge, nor did he want to go inside Amelia's sack.

"Get moving pretty boy!" Amelia yelled at Gordie. "It's either get in the sack, or be turned into an ugly toad and be fed to the cat!"

"You better save me father," Gordie yelled as he gets inside the sack. "Or else I won't forgive you."

"Shut up!" Amelia yelled at Gordie.

"Do something," Mr. Gibble whispered to Mrs. Gibble.

Mrs. Gibble looks around and noticed a plate of gingerbread men. As the witches were about to leave, Mrs. Gibble walks up to them.

"Wouldn't you prefer gingerbread children instead?" Mrs. Gibble asked the witches. "They're boneless."

The witches stop walking and each took a gingerbread men. They tasted it and then discovered that the gingerbread men were tastier than a child. They drop the sack with the kids and scoff down gingerbread men.

"I say these are delicious," Isis spoke with her mouth full.

"Yeah," Avery replied. "More delicious than a child."

()()()()()

Later, Avery, Isis and Amelia leave the Walrus house with sacks full of candy.

"Bye witches," a walrus child cried. "Thanks for not eating me."

"Yeah," Wally replied, still a rat. "You ladies are alright."

"What did you get Avery?" Isis asked Avery as the witches look at their sacks full of goodies.

"A candy apple." Avery replied. "How about you?"

"I got a caramel cod."

"I got a stick of chocolate." Amelia replied.

"Y'know what?" Isis spoke. "We should do this every year."

"Yeah," Amelia agreed. "We should scare people into giving us treats. This should be fun."

And then, the witches went on to their brooms and fly away to the moonlight.

"And that's the story of the very first Halloween." Henriette 'One-Eye' Cooper, the female pirate told to the readers. "And it wasn't long before this yearly custom became an annual tradition worldwide."

_One year later …_

Halloween came in Mellowbrook as the townspeople are dressed in colorful costumes, going trick-or-treating from door to door. However, Brad, who is wearing an Arabian harem costume, throws eggs at the empty house. Brianna, dressed as a wizard, and Kick, dressed as a mummy were disappointed.

"Come on, give us some candy!" Brad yelled. "Don't pretend you're not home!"

"Brad, that's _our _house." Brianna told Brad.

This caused the townspeople to laugh at the embarrassed Brad. Then, a wicked idea came to Brad.

"She's a witch!" Brad yelled as he points at Brianna.

"Get her!" Mr. Vickle yelled as the townspeople chase a screaming Brianna into the distance. Brad looks pleased with his work.

* * *

><p>"And that's the story of Halloween," Murray concluded his story. "The End."<p>

"Wow," Knothead spoke after hearing Murray's tale. "That was an epic tale."

"And I'm glad Brianna got accused as a witch in the end." Splinter spoke. "Serves her right for being a spoiled brat."

"Knothead! Splinter!" Woody's voice was heard from the house. "Bedtime!"

"Well, I guess I have no troubles sleeping tonight." Knothead said as he, Splinter and Murray went out of the tree house.

Knothead and Splinter went inside the main house while Murray heads back to the safe house.

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

All is quite in the safe house as the Cooper Gang are sleeping peacefully, until a ghost scares the pants off of Bentley who ends up puking in bed.

"I _hate_ Halloween." Bentley spoke quietly.


	32. The Chinese A-Team Part 1

_**Kick Buttowski and the Chinese A-Team**_

_**Summary: **__When Patience, a young orphaned girl gets kidnapped by Ernestine, a sleazy pawn shop owner, and is forced to become her maidservant and find the Demon's Eye –one of the world's largest and most priceless diamonds in China, Kick and Annabelle received Patience's cry for help as they make the journey to China and save her from Ernestine._

_**A/N: Story takes place **__**during**__** the events of Crimson Noir (all parts)**_

It was a dark and stormy night in the swamps of China. In the swamps lies an abandoned Chinese palace in the middle of the swamp. It seems that there is no life in the place, until a light was shown when a door to the balcony was opened slowly. The door slowly opened, slowly to reveal a young girl who is no older than 12 years old. She wore a white tank-top, short black skirt and a pair of combat boots. She was a tall girl with medium strawberry blonde hair with soft bangs, pale skin and sparkling violet eyes. As she walks up to a balcony with a note on her hand, a white pigeon with violet highlights on her feathers flew by and landed on the edge of the balcony. Wasting no time, the girl ties the note onto the pigeon's leg.

"Give this message to Annabelle Magnuson," the girl said to the pigeon. "She can help me get out of this place."

The pigeon chirped once as it flies off to the horizon, with the note tied to her leg.

_Who will rescue me?_

Along the way, the pigeon had some troubles as she encounters a stormy weather at the ocean while trying to fly to America.

_Who will rescue me?  
>Who will rescue me?<em>

But then, the storm became more violent than ever. But despite the violent storm, the pigeon made it to America safely.

_I'm lost at sea without a friend.  
>This journey, will it ever end?<br>Who will rescue me?  
>Rescue me, rescue me?<em>

()()()()()

Monday came as all the sleepy children of Mellowbrook drag their bodies out of their beds and face the fact that they have to go to school. It's what some people called, _The Monday Blues._ Everyone in the town hated Mondays and can't wait for the day to end. As for the children, they have to do the same routine to go to school up until Friday, the day where all the good things happen.

But in the case of Kick Buttowski and Annabelle Magnuson, pretty much every day of their lives is an adventure, but this marks the beginning of their own adventure. Or to be more precise, their _second _adventure together.

It was 8:20 AM, just a few minutes before school officially started. All the seventh graders and eighth graders are heading to History Class. Their teacher is Mr. Henry Teacherman who may be harsh and tough, but wants what's best for his students. When school started, no one was late, except for Johnny who accidentally overslept for the third time this month. Though it all seems like a full house, only one student, a female eighth grader is absent. Gwen Axle.

"Is Gwen Axle here today?" Mr. Teacherman asked as he did the attendance.

But no reply came from the red-haired girl. Nor had she made her appearance in school today.

"I think she's sick," Gunther wondered.

"Nonsense," Jackie replied.

"Who would _possibly_ get sick just to miss out on a quiz?" Annabelle replied, not caring about school.

"We don't have a quiz today." Kendall corrected Annabelle. "Remember?"

"I know that, like _I'd_ care."

"Alright class," Mr. Teacherman spoke which made the kids silent. "Today we will be learning the Asian country of China and its cultural history."

But as usual, some of the kids, Johnny in particular, aren't even listening.

"And I expect _all_ of you to smarten up!" Mr. Teacherman's voice rose, catching Annabelle's off guard. "We're going to have a test on it in two weeks, when _Gwen_ shows up, by the way. This'll go _directly_ on to your report cards."

The kids groaned at this.

"This bites." Annabelle muttered as she doodles on her notes. Most of the doodles were robots, ghosts and musical notes.

A few long minutes later, the bell rang and everyone went out of the classroom like crazy. Well almost.

"Kick Buttowski, Annabelle Magnuson," Mr. Teacherman spoke to Kick and Annabelle. "Could the both of you stay here for a moment?"

"Sure," Kick replied as he and Annabelle stayed behind.

"What's the scoop this time?" Annabelle spoke. "Am I still failing History?"

"I'd kill myself for saying this to you, but yes." Mr. Teacherman replied to Annabelle. "You're failing History. Again."

"And the only way for her to pass is if she passes the upcoming test?" Kick questioned.

"Correct." Mr. Teacherman replied to Kick. "Now the reason why you're here is because you're one of our best students in History, besides Kendall. I would like you to tutor Annabelle again up until the day of the test."

"You can count on me on that." Kick replied while doing his signature pose.

"And I'm glad my tutor isn't Ronaldo." Annabelle replied happily. "Because Ronaldo is a total dork!"

Mr. Teacherman and Kick only stared at Annabelle. Not one word came out of their mouths.

"What?" Annabelle asked, looking rather embarrassed. "It's true. He's more of a dork than my uncle Viceroy?" _**(A/N: This 'Viceroy' that Annabelle is mentioning is actually a canon character from "Randy Cunningham: 9**__**th**__** Grade Ninja". He's a mad scientist who works for the big bad Hannibal McFist who plans to destroy the ninja. In this version, Viceroy is Annabelle's uncle, from her mother's side of the family.)**_

()()()()()

In the attic room in Kick's house, Kick and Annabelle are as usual studying for their upcoming test while looking through Jules' journals, history books and personal items one Friday afternoon. But what Kick saw was Annabelle goofing off again while using her ghost powers.

"Annabelle," Kick spoke. "Can't you focus on studying? We have a test in two weeks and you need to pass this test to get your grades up."

"Sorry." Annabelle apologized. "My mind was more focused on Tut. He went out of town with his dad and won't be back for a few days or so."

"Same here with Avery and Kendall. They're out of town, doing their _honorary _police business and looking for Gwen who hasn't showed up for five days straight."

"Yeah. You had this feeling that something bad was about to happen in the next few days or so."

"Something bad?"

"Yes. Something _very _bad. I can feel it through my bones."

As Kick and Annabelle continue on studying, a white pigeon with violet highlights on her feathers flew by and landed on Annabelle's book. There was a note tied to the pigeon's leg.

"What's this?" Annabelle asked as she unties the note from the pigeon's leg. The note reads,

_**Annabelle Magnuson,**_

_**I have been taken away from the local orphanage by the creepy woman who calls herself Ernestine. I've been held prisoner in the abandon palace in the middle of the swamp down in China. She is forcing me to find the Demon's Eye, one of the world's most priceless and largest diamonds deep underground. Not only that, she forced me to become her personal maidservant. I am begging you as an old friend of yours; you must help me get out of here.**_

_**Sincerely yours,**_

_**Patience**_

"Who's Patience?" Kick asked.

"An old friend of mine." Annabelle replied. "Her deceased father was an old friend of my dad. We met when we were three back in Amity Park, but after the death of her parents, Patience was forced to be transferred to the local orphanage. I haven't seen her since."

"And something tells me that she's in trouble in China?"

"Yeah. As an old friend, it is my duty to go to China and rescue her from Ernestine."

"But I'm going with you as well."

"Why?"

"Until you get that passing mark on the upcoming test, I'm your partner."

Annabelle felt happy. Although the mission that she is taking might be dangerous, even for a halfa like herself, Annabelle is glad that she got herself a partner.

"If you weren't hooked up with Kendall right now, I'd kiss ya!" Annabelle cried happily.

"Lucky for me, I'm hooked." Kick replied.

()()()()()

Later on a dark and stormy night in Amity Park, Kick and Annabelle are seen walking in the dark and bare streets in the rain, looking for the Amity Park Orphanage. Following them is the pigeon.

"Xia Dynasty of China was the first dynasty to be described in ancient historical records such as Sima Qian's _**Records of the Grand Historian **_and _**Bamboo Annals.**_" Kick read from the history book. "How long was this dynasty active?"

But instead of getting a respond from Annabelle, Kick saw Annabelle flying while providing light from her ghost powers, not caring about the test. Annabelle was more focused on finding clues that would lead to Patience getting kidnapped in the first place.

"Were you even listening?" Kick asked again, this time catching Annabelle's attention.

"What was that?" Annabelle asked, looking confused.

"How long was the Xia Dynasty of China active?"

"Um … for 500 years?"

"Wrong. It lasted from 2100 BC to 1600 BC." Kick said the correct answer to Annabelle. "You really need to focus on the test while finding clues to Patience's whereabouts."

"Sometimes we can't focus on two things at once."

"True, but the place we're going to rescue Patience from Ernestine is China."

"Wow. How ironic is that? We have a test on the Chinese History in two weeks, yet we're going to China to rescue an old friend of mine. I'm _so_ going to ace that test."

Kick could only roll his eyes as he follows Annabelle to the local orphanage where Patience was last seen, before Ernestine kidnapped her and took her away to China. When they get inside, all they could see was the empty hallways and closed dorms. It looks like the staff went home early and the kids are fast asleep. But one room was opened wide as the pigeon flies into the room. Patience's.

Kick and Annabelle sneak inside Patience's room. The room was dark, bare and oddly enough, very tidy. Kick pulls out his magnify glass and starts looking for clues and any traces of Patience's disappearance.

"Nothing." Kick said quietly. "This room is spotless and tidy."

"But what if Ernestine lured Patience outside from the orphanage?" Annabelle suggested. "It's impossible for a villain, like Ernestine, to kidnap a child in the place full of witnesses."

"You're right. We need to keep going."

But unbeknownst to the duo, someone is following them. As Kick and Annabelle search for more clues, they heard a voice.

"Teenagers."

Kick and Annabelle turned around and saw that the voice belongs to Chief Inspector Barkley, a badger. _**(A/N: A Sly Cooper character from Issue 1 of the comics and at the near end of the game in Sly 2: Band of Thieves)**_

"Inspector Barkley." Annabelle cried, nervous at seeing the chief inspector.

"Now look here, you two." Barkley spoke firmly. "If the headmistress of this orphanage found out that two teenagers have broken in at night, I would have no choice but to press serious charges on you."

"Don't worry, inspector." Kick said. "We won't be here much longer."

"I hope so." Barkley stretched and yawned as the pigeon perched onto his shoulder. "So what business are you two up for the night? Stealing cookies from the young, greedy ones?"

"We're here to find clues to Patience's disappearance." Annabelle answered, her eyes widen. "She's been kidnapped by the creepy woman known as Ernestine."

"Patience you say?"

"Yes. She gave me her message."

"Why, she's been a good little girl ever since she came here. It's been a long time in my life since I last saw her…"

_It was the breezy afternoon on a Saturday as Chief Inspector Barkley came to the Amity Park Orphanage to present a Safety Assembly to the orphans. He was invited to stay for dinner as the guest of honor. As Barkley explores the orphanage, greeting the other orphans in the process, he saw Patience in her room, sitting on her bed, alone. She was __no older than 12 years old. She wore a white tank-top, short black skirt and a pair of combat boots. She was a tall girl with medium strawberry blonde hair with soft bangs, pale skin and sparkling violet eyes._

"_What's wrong, Patience?" Barkley a__sked Patience._

"_Nothing." Patience replied quietly._

"_Come on now, honey. No secrets." Barkly took a seat next to Patience. "You can tell Ol' Barkley, huh?"_

"_Well," Patience spoke. "It was adoption day at the orphanage."_

"_Well … what happened?"_

"_A man and a woman came and looked at me," Patience's violet eyes sparkle as a tear rolls down from her left eye. "But they chose a little brunette girl. She was prettier than me."_

"_Aw, she couldn't be."_

_Barkley gives Patience a firm and confident look._

"_Now you listen to me, kid." Barkley told Patience. "You're something extra-special."_

"_No, I'm not." Patience replied sadly._

"_Why, someday, a mother and a father will come to the orphanage, looking for a pretty little girl, just like you."_

"_Promise?"_

"_I promise. Cross my heart and hope to lose my ol' job."_

_The Barkley went up to the window with Patience following him. There was a lone star up in the sky._

"_Faith is a bluebird, we see from far," Barkley told Patience. "It's for real and as sure as the first evening star, you can't touch it, or buy it or wrap it up tight, but it's there just the same, making things turn out right."_

"_Can't touch it, or buy it, or wrap it up tight, but it's there just the same, making things turn out right." Patience repeated as a pigeon with violet highlights on her feather perched and sat on Patience's shoulder. "But whoever adopts me has to adopt Orchid too."_

"_Oh they'll love her. She doesn't eat that much. Does she?"_

"_No. She only eats birdseeds." Patience giggles as she runs to the door. "C'mon, dinner's almost ready."_

_Barkley let out a small giggle as he follows Patience to the dining hall._

"…And that was the last time I saw her." Barkley concluded his side of the story as Orchid then perched onto Annabelle's hat. "I've always thought that she'd be adopted, but the headmistress said that she was never adopted. She even admitted that she saw a tall, sleazy woman luring Patience to her car."

"That must be Ernestine." Kick said, putting a few pieces together. "Does she have a place to live here?"

"Well, she owns a sleazy pawn shop in the streets of Mellowbrook. But I wouldn't try to sneak inside that place if I were you."

"Why?"

"If Ernestine catches you trespassing in her store, there's no telling what she'll do to you afterwards."

"We've got to help Patience." Annabelle spoke. "And find her.

"Yeah, but two young teenagers?" Barkley spoke, looking shocked. "What can you do?"

"We'll think of something." Annabelle said as she and Kick prepare to leave. "It's a promise we cannot break."

()()()()()

Sometimes later, Kick and Annabelle are in the streets of Mellowbrook. Again, the streets were dark and bare and all of the stores were closed for the night. Along their way to find Ernestine's pawn shop, Kick had tried to get Annabelle to focus on their upcoming test with little or no results.

"The monarchy of China started in 221 BC and ended in February 12, 1912." Kick read from the book. "Who was the first monarch of China?"

"Some dude who wants to take over China and want a lot of power and gold and is evil?" Annabelle answered, still not caring about the test.

"Nope. The first monarch of China was Qin Shi Huang. How many emperors are there in China from the Qin Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty?"

"100?"

"Wrong again. The correct answer is 557, including rules of minor states."

"I didn't expect China to have a lot of emperors back then."

"I didn't either, until now. Moving along, who was China's last monarch?"

"Was the last monarch a woman? China could use a great female ruler."

"The last monarch wasn't a woman and in the ancient times, women weren't given that same amount of respect like today's women and they are only suggested as subjects of men in the ancient times."

"So Chinese women have little respect in the ancient times than they do now today?"

"Precisely."

"Can we go find Ernestine's pawn shop and look for clues now?"

"Permission granted."

Kick and Annabelle continue on their search for Ernestine's pawn shop until they came to a stop at the creepiest store they have ever seen, so creepy that Orchid flew inside Annabelle's hat. Its building structure is gothic and its windows were stained red with webs on it. Its bricks were pale blue, in a creepy way and the door looked more medieval than an average door. There was a sign, chromed blood red that reads,

_**Ebony Ernestine's Pawn Shop Boutique**_

"Looks like we've found our place." Kick said as he walks up to the opened window. "C'mon. I know a way in."

Kick went through the open window easily as Annabelle did the same. When they got inside Ernestine's pawn shop, the shop was dark, bare and creepy. There are millions of old junk lying around the place, some valuable, some worthless. They'd figured that they may find more clues behind the counter of the shop. Although the door seems locked and so is the wide window, there was a small gap at the wall, big enough for a teenager to crawl under. Annabelle managed to crawl through the gap easily, but when Kick tries to crawl through, his big butt got in the way. He's stuck in-between the wall.

"I really hate having Mom's big butt." Kick muttered quietly as he struggles to get through.

Annabelle helps Kick by pulling him inside and she did. They are inside room where they saw paper works disorganized, mails stacked in shelves, money stored in jars and a few personal items located across the room. Though it seems that their search for clues were a bit trickier than they think, Annabelle noticed a book lying on the desk. It was in fact a novel.

"Look at this Kick," Annabelle whispered, not wanting to wake Ernestine. "It's a preteen's novel."

Kick walks up to Annabelle and scans the novel. It was suitable for a preteen, but what is Ernestine doing with the novel.

"It's Patience's." Annabelle cried.

All of a sudden, the telephone rang. Thinking that Ernestine would wake up and answer the phone, Kick and Annabelle hide. Kick hid inside one of Ernestine's treasure trunks while Annabelle hid under an empty table. They watch as the door opens to reveal Ernestine. She is a tall, slender woman with silver hair tied in a high, messy ponytail, a pair of hazel eyes, pale skin and bloody red lips. She wore a black, sleeveless open back dress with a white underskirt. Her breast cleavage has been shown up front. She hardly wore a bra and she wore a pair of purple stockings, complete with a pair of black high-heeled shoes.

"Who could be ringing at this time of night?" Ernestine spoke in an annoyed tone as she answers the phone. "_**Ebony Ernestine's Pawn Shop Boutique.**_"

"Hi, boss!" answered the caller who talks with a lisp.

This made Ernestine happy.

"Ah, Bamber! Don't tell me, let me guess! You found it! Ha, ha! You've found the diamond!"

"We haven't found the Demon's Eye yet m'am. I need more time."

"More time?" Ernestine's happiness faded. "You blabbering fool! You have been down there for three months!"

"But that's not all m'am. I also caught Patience, your maidservant, sending messages with the help of her pigeon, Orchid."

"You caught Patience sending messages with the help of her pigeon?"

"Yes."

Now Ernestine is mad.

"You INCOMPENT fool; can't you control that little girl?"

"But-"

"Shut up! I'm taking the next flight down to China!"

Ernestine slams the phone down onto the receiver which frightens both Kick and Annabelle. She pulls out a suitcase and left the room.

"Ernestine is very cruel." Annabelle whispers to Kick as they went out of their hiding places. "She should be arrested for kidnapping a child."

"We might catch up to her by using your invisibility." Kick replied as he crawls out of the room through the small gap. "C'mon, I've got a plan."

But before Annabelle could get to the small gap, Ernestine came back with clothes and make-ups in her arms. Not wanting to get spotted, Annabelle turns completely invisible as Ernestine packs up her belongings into the small suitcase, with little or no results. Then she opens the door and went outside to find her car. As Ernestine puts her suitcase in her trunk and starts her car, Kick manages to get inside the trunk, but Annabelle had a hard time because Ernestine had already set the car to drive.

For a grown woman like Ernestine, she was a reckless driver and without her knowing, Annabelle can barely catch up to her trunk where Kick is. Just then, Ernestine's car hit a big bump which sends both her suitcase and Kick flying out of her trunk and land on top of Annabelle.

"Well I guess that plan didn't work." Annabelle spoke as hundreds of clothes float down from the sky.

"But we're not giving up." Kick said. "First thing tomorrow, we take the next flight down to China."

()()()()()

The next day on a typical Saturday evening, Kick and Annabelle arrive at the airport with Orchid flying with them, but instead of being early, Kick and Annabelle are late as the airport is packed and busy. Not only that, they accidentally slept in.

"Hurry, Annabelle." Kick cried as he gets through the busy crowd. "Ernestine could be in China right now."

"I'm sorry, Kick," Annabelle spoke as she tries to catch up with Kick through the busy crowd. "But a lady really _does _have to pack a few things of her own."

But when Kick and Annabelle reached the gates, they saw a plane taking off.

"Excuse me," Kick asked the attendant. "Is it too late to take the flight to China?"

"I'm sorry kid." The attendant replied. "All the seats are full and just left. Would you like to wait for the next available flight?"

"How long will the next flight be here?"

"Six hours."

"Isn't there another way to get to China without having to wait hours to get the next flight?" Annabelle asked.

"There is another way. There's a local aircraft station just outside for passengers who wishes to travel in small groups. Unfortunately, all of the services are busy as of now, except Penelope Mouse's service."

"How long do we have to wait for her to come back?"

"You can wait as long as you want, but chances are, she might not come back."

"Thanks for helping us." Kick said as he and Annabelle walk away and went to the local aircraft station just outside from the airport.

So they waited, for long minutes of time. Then, they heard something from the radio.

_"Mellowbrook Flight 05 to station! Mellowbrook 05!_

"Hey," Annabelle spoke to Kick. "I think we're lucky!"

_"Wake up!"_

Neither Kick nor Annabelle spoke.

_"Dad-drat it! Somebody answer down there! Get off the dime! Hello! Hello! Is anybody down there?!"_

"Uh, hello." Kick spoke through the microphone.

_"Where in Holland have you been, ya lazy knucklehead?"_

"We, uh, just got here miss. You see, my co-agent insisted on packing her, uh..."

_"Look bud. Am I clear to land? Traffic up here's thicker than-!"_

But the loud sound of a helicopter drowns the pilot out and she blares through the radio, blowing Orchid off balance and onto Kick's helmet.

"_WOW! WOW! Dad-blast, you dirty road-hog! Crazy! See, look! What is-! You stupid lunk-headed..."_

But Kick turns down the volume, not wanting to hear another rant from the pilot.

"What did she say?" Annabelle asked.

"I wouldn't dare repeat it." Kick replied.

"Well, then give her permission to land. That would cool her down."

Kick nods as he went to the microphone again.

"Uh, miss?" Kick spoke. "You have our permission to land."

"_Well, it's about time, bud!" _replied the pilot.

As Kick and Annabelle wait outside, they saw a lavender plane with a mouse symbol on the left side flying towards the station. It's heading right towards Kick and Annabelle.

"TAKE COVER!" Kick shouted as he and Annabelle get out of the way, in order for the pilot to land safely. Kick and Annabelle could only watch as the plane landed safely, nearly missing the aircraft station. They saw the pilot coming out of the plane and they were a bit shocked that their pilot, Penelope Mouse would turn out to be … a mouse, literally. _**(A/N: She's a Sly Cooper character and Bentley's love interest.)**_

"Well, this seems like one of my better landings since I went solo on this." Penelope said as she walks out of the plane and walks towards Kick and Annabelle. "And I'm guessing you're my newest clients, am I right?"

"Yeah." Annabelle replied as she and Kick introduce themselves. "I'm Annabelle Magnuson, and this is Kick Buttowski."

Just then, Orchid perched and sat on Penelope's left shoulder.

"Oh, and who's your little friend?" Penelope asked as she feels Orchid's snow white feathers.

"That's Orchid." Annabelle answered. "An old friend of mine's pet."

"So, what's the scoop?" Penelope asked.

"We're here to get to China, but the plane took off without us." Kick replied. "We were wondering if you could help us out."

"Don't worry about a thing, Kick. I've got this covered."

()()()()()

Several minutes later, Kick, Annabelle, Orchid and Penelope are on one of the smaller planes, with Penelope as the pilot. Penelope gives Kick the checklist.

"Read the checklist for me." Penelope told Kick. "For safety concerns."

"Okay." Kick replied as he reads the checklist. "Goggles down."

Penelope dons her goggles.

"Check." Penelope responded.

"Wings."

Penelope looks at her left and right blind spots and above.

"Double check."

"Propeller." Kick read.

"Check." Penelope replied as she turns on the propeller.

"Vertical Stabilizer."

"Check."

"Horizontal Stabilizer."

"Check."

"Landing gear."

"What's a plane without a landing gear?"

"Good point."

"Any more on the list?"

"Yeah. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Kick looks apprehensive as Penelope's plane takes off.

"And here we go!"

Penelope's plane took off and by the time it went closer to the cliff, it rose up from the ground and starts flying beautifully across the city with busy traffic and rush hour. It ended up flying through a red light.

"Isn't that against the law to fly through a red traffic light?" Annabelle asked, looking concerned.

"It's against the law to drive through a red light." Penelope responded. "But it didn't say anything about _small planes _flying through a red light."

"She has a point there," Kick told Annabelle. "Maybe you should hit the books more often."

Annabelle grabs a textbook and slams it on the floor, scaring Orchid. Kick rolls his eyes.

"That's not what I meant."

"Sorry." Annabelle replied as she opens the textbook as the plane flies to its destination.

_Come along  
>Will there be sunshine shining?<br>Will we find a silver lining?  
>Come along<em>

_Sing a song  
>When today becomes tomorrow<br>Will we find joy or sorrow?  
>Sing a song<em>

_Is it wrong  
>To put all our hopes together<br>And wish for something' better?  
>Is it wrong?<em>

_To belong  
>To face the future with another<br>who means more than any other  
>Is to belong<em>

_We'll paint the grey clouds  
>With pretty rainbow hues<br>And we'll brush the gloom away  
>And save it for a rainy day<em>

_Rainy day_

_Oh, today  
>If troubles cast a shadow<br>And shadows make the sun afraid to stay  
>But it's OK<em>

_'Cause there'll be sunshine shining  
>And we'll find a silver lining<br>Another day_

_Tomorrow is another day  
>How I hope you'll always stay<em>

"Alright let's review the section again," Kick said to a sleepy Annabelle as the plane flies in the starry night.

"Can't," Annabelle muttered in her sleep, the textbook still open wide. "Too tired … to study."

Kick sighs as he placed his arm over Annabelle's shoulder, allowing her to rest her body onto Kick's own. Then all of a sudden, Kick fell asleep as Penelope continues on flying the plane to China.

_**To be continued…**_


	33. Widowmaker's Winter Wonderland 2

_**Widowmaker's Winter Wonderland II: Murray Hippo and the Ninja Prince**_

_**A/N: This is one of the few Widowmaker's Winter Wonderland tales where it won't show three tales, but a Christmas themed story that won't be a continuity unless otherwise. A Christmas (and birthday) present for Chris Nest.**_

_**A crossover of another animated show "Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja".**_

_Act I:_

Twas two weeks before Christmas, when all through the town, not a creature was stirring, not even a car. The decorations were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Santa Claus soon would be there.

Our story begins in a small town of Mellowbrook. The town was blanketed with snow, the trees were being trimmed, and everyone is making up their Christmas lists.

In the Buttowski household, the family is making up their Christmas lists. Well, everyone but Grandpa Archie who is reading a book while drinking a can of Cheetah Chug.

_**Harold: **__Jessica Biel and Megan Fox  
>Wearing nothing but their socks<br>Is all I really want for Christmas this year._

"Harold!" Honey yelled. "That's just not practical!"

_**Brianna: **__Spending a week in Mexico  
>With Teena Sometimes and unicorns<br>Is all I really want for Christmas this year_

"Sounds terrific." Harold said. "How about the rest of you?"

_**Kick: **__I would like a pair of skates  
>Then I'd go out skating<br>But Gordie would beat me in a race_

_**Honey: **__I want a Lexus all in pink  
>And a son who doesn't drink<em>

_**Brad: **__On and that remind me, twelve kegs of beer!_

_**All: **__All these happy wishes  
>And lots of Christmas cheer<br>Is all I really want this year_

"Santa's got his work cut out for him," Grandpa Archie said to the family.

"Oh, we ain't even gotten started yet." Harold replied.

_**Honey: **__I wanna tour the Spanish coast…_

_**Harold: **__Lunch with Henriette Cooper's ghost…_

_**Honey and Harold: **__Is all I really want for Christmas this year _

"Wait, what?" Honey asked.

"Forget it." Harold replied. "Keep going."

_**Brad: **__My girl, Selena in my bed …_

_**Brianna: **__Pretty ponies in my head …_

_**Brad and Brianna: **__Is all I really want for Christmas this year_

_**Kick: **__Crimson Chevrolet Corvette  
>Never mind the reason<br>Also roller-skates and a sleigh_

_**Grandpa Archie: **__Doesn't it seem like too much stuff?_

_**Brianna: **__Shame on you! It's not enough?_

_**Brad:**__ Old timer, I got your Christmas out there!_

Brad points at the dig-up grave outside.

_**All: **__All these happy wishes  
>And lots of Christmas cheer<br>Is all I really want this year_

"I'm just saying it seems a bit excessive." Grandpa Archie told the family.

"Oh, get off the couch, Dad." Honey replied. "It's Christmas."

"And Christmas is about getting." Brad added as he shows Grandpa Archie the cul-de-sac. "Everyone in town knows that."

In Wacky Jackie's house, Jackie is hugging her Kick doll.

_**Jackie: **__Kick Buttowski with no restraint  
>Just to marry me till our deaths<br>Is all I really want for Christmas this year._

At Woody Woodpecker's house, Splinter, Knothead and Woody are putting up the decorations.

_**Splinter and Knothead: **__Platinum-plated silverware..._

_**Woody: **__Just one day when perverts don't stare..._

_**Woody, Knothead and Splinter: **__Is all I really want for Christmas this year._

Woody threatens the perverts that were outside of his him with his shock pistol, scaring the perverts away from his home.

At the Magnusons'...

_**Magnus: **__If you burn a Christmas tree  
>In the public restaurant,<br>I will go to your place and burn your house!  
>BWA!<em>

_**Gunther: **__Wouldn't I love a Viking clock?_

_**Helga: **__And a little frying pan  
>I can cook or smack my husband on the head<em>

_**Gunther, Magnus and Helga: **__All these happy wishes  
>And lots of Christmas cheer<br>Is all I really want this year._

At Wally's house ...

_**Wally: **__I want a golden mustache comb._

_**Buzz: **__And some cash to pay my loan._

_**Wally and Buzz: **__Is all I really want for Christmas this year_

At Avery's house ...

_**Avery: **__I want a hippie hookah._

_**Kendall: **__And 12 encyclopedias_

_**Avery and Kehdall **__That's all I really want for Christmas this year_

At Annabelle's house …

_**Annabelle: **__I just want a secret lab  
>From someone named Viceroy<em>

At the Cooper Gang's safehouse …

_**Murray: **__I just want 10 boxes of pizza._

At Gordie's mansion …

_**Gordie: **__I want a Blu-ray of __**Hannah Montana**_

_**Michael: **__We don't know what Christmas is._

_**Anthony: **__We have something else called "Gordie is Great!"_

_**Everyone in Mellowbrook (except Grandpa Archie): **__All these happy wishes  
>And lots of Christmas cheer<br>Is all I really want this year._

"Didn't your elders tell you that Christmas is about giving, not getting?" Grandpa Archie told the family.

"How about this next song?" Honey asked. "Would that make you feel better?"

_**Honey: **__Have a holly, jolly Christmas;  
>It's the best time of the year<em>

_**Harold: **__I don't know if there'll be snow,  
>But have a cup of cheer.<em>

_**Kick: **__Have a holly, jolly Christmas;  
>And when you walk down the street<br>Say Hello to friends you know  
>And everyone you meet.<em>

_**Brad: **__Oh, ho, the mistletoe  
>Hung where you can see;<br>Selena waits for me;_

Gordie's head pops up from the window.

_**Gordie: **__Kiss her once for me._

"Loser," Gordie said before leaving.

_**Brianna: **__Have a holly jolly Christmas,  
>And in case you didn't hear,<br>Oh by golly, have a holly,  
>Jolly Christmas this year. <em>

_**Entire family (except Grandpa Archie): **__Have a holly, jolly Christmas;  
>It's the best time of the year<em>

Kyle then appears, scaring everyone, but calmed down upon seeing Avery.

_**Kyle: **__Have a holly, jolly Christmas;  
>And when you walk down the street<em>

_**Avery: **__Say Hello to friends you know  
>And everyone you meet.<em>

_**Kyle: **__Oh, ho, the mistletoe  
>Hung where you can see;<br>Somebody waits for you;  
>Kiss here once for me<em>

_**Avery: **__Have a holly jolly Christmas,  
>And in case you didn't hear,<br>Oh by golly, have a holly,  
>Jolly Christmas this year. <em>

()()()()()

One weeks later, Annabelle is walking in town to get something to drink when she saw Kick walking by. Instead of the usual calm personality, Kick was tired as if something had tired him out.

"What happened to you?" Annabelle asked. "You don't look so good."

"Here's how it happened." Kick started. "It all started one morning when my family and I were going to the mall …"

_It was a nice day as the Buttowski family is going to the mall, but when they arrived, they can't seem to find a parking space._

_**Kick: **__At the mall  
>No parking spaces<em>

_**Brad and Brianna: **__Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma  
>Can we go home?<em>

_**Kick: **__Million cars  
>Ten parking places<em>

_**Brad and Brianna: **__Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma  
>Can we go home?<em>

_**Kick: **__You said this would be a fun day_

_**Brad and Brianna: **__Ma, ma, ma  
>Ma, ma, ma<br>Let's go home_

_**Harold: **__This could take till Easter Sunday_

_**Brad, Brianna and Kick: **__Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma  
>Can we go home?<em>

_**Brad: **__All this circling is a dumb thing_

_**Kick and Brianna: **__Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma  
>Can we go home?<em>

_**Kick: **__There we can make Grandpa something_

_**Brad and Brianna: **__Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma  
>Can we go home?<em>

_**Brianna: **__What's that, Mom?  
>You're shopping for me?<em>

_Ma, ma, ma  
>Ma, ma, ma<br>Please let's stay_

_Let's keep looking  
>It won't bore me<em>

_Who care if we drive  
>Around all day!<em>

"And that's the whole story," Kick replied. "Everyone's shopping crazy at that time of year."

"I agree." Annabelle replied. "Mom's been shopping crazy since the first day of December."

"You don't think anyone's going to shop crazy for pizza this year? Would he?" asked a voice.

Kick and Annabelle turned around and saw Murray standing beside them, looking a little nervous.

"What makes you say that, Murray?" Annabelle asked. "I doubt anyone here would be crazy for pizza at that time of year. Everyone is crazy about fashion clothes, video games, movies, heck, even Justin Bieber."

"I know, but what if there are some fat people who crave for pizza?"

"Like Peter Griffin?" Kick asked.

"Yeah, like him."

"Don't worry about a thing, Murray." Annabelle replied. "I'm sure we'll have a great Christmas this year. Just think of the 12 awesome days of Christmas…"

_**Annabelle: **__On the 1__st__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_A dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Kick: **__On the 2__nd__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Murray: **__On the 3__rd__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_On the 4__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Murray: **__On the 5__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Kick: **__On the 6__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Murray: **__On the 7__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_7 cunning thieves_

_**Kick: **__6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_On the 8__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_8 girls skateboarding_

_**Murray: **__7 cunning thieves_

_**Kick: **__6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Kick: **__On the 9__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_9 pranks a calling_

_**Annabelle:**__ 8 girls skateboarding_

_**Murray: **__7 cunning thieves_

_**Kick: **__6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Murray: **__On the 10__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us<em>

_10 dozens of pizza_

_**Kick:**__ 9 pranks a calling_

_**Annabelle:**__ 8 girls skateboarding_

_**Murray: **__7 cunning thieves_

_**Kick: **__6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_On the 11__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_11 bruises for Gordie_

_**Murray: **__10 dozens of pizza_

_**Kick:**__ 9 pranks a calling_

_**Annabelle:**__ 8 girls skateboarding_

_**Murray: **__7 cunning thieves_

_**Kick: **__6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

_**Kick: **__On the 12__th__ day of Christmas  
>The authoress gave to us:<em>

_12 season's greetings_

_**Annabelle:**__ 11 bruises for Gordie_

_**Murray: **__10 dozens of pizza_

_**Kick:**__ 9 pranks a calling_

_**Annabelle:**__ 8 girls skateboarding_

_**Murray: **__7 cunning thieves_

_**Kick: **__6 teenagers caroling_

_**Kick, Annabelle and Murray: **__5 ninja rings!_

_**Annabelle: **__4 hot pizzas_

_**Murray: **__3 French toasts_

_**Kick: **__2 awesome stunts_

_**Annabelle: **__And a dead Peter in a coffin_

"Y'know, I had a fun time," Murray said finally. "I think this year will be the best Christmas we've ever had."

"Yeah," Annabelle replied happily. "That's the spirit."

Just then, a crying Gunther came running past the three.

"What's the matter, Gunther?" Kick asked. "It's Christmas time."

"There won't be a Christmas this year." Gunther cried. "Santa's been kidnapped!"

"What?" Murray said, looking shocked. "That's terrible."

"Who would do something like that?" Annabelle asked. "Whoever did this is going to get his ass kicked, real hard."

"We must rescue him if we want to save Christmas!" Kick cried, and then asked Gunther. "Where is Santa being held in?"

"Last time I remembered, Santa is held captive at Coal Castle. It's far away from our place." Gunther replied. "No one's ever been there before, or made it out of there alive."

"Don't worry," Annabelle said. "We'll find Coal Castle and Santa."

_**(A/N: This next song is based on the Nutcracker Suite – Marche by Tchaikovsky. Check it out on YouTube to listen the tune of the song while reading the lyrics **__** watch?v=h1j5IxOPXdY**__**) **_

_**Murray: **__We'll be the first to reach Coal Castle  
>Sooner or later, Christmas won't be cancelled<em>

_**Gunther:**__ I hope you do it in the nick of time  
>Before everyone lose their minds<br>If Christmas ends up getting cancelled  
>Everyone will go insane!<em>

_**Kick: **__We'll find the jerk who took Santa Claus  
>We'll be there to kick his ass!<em>

_**Annabelle: **__No bad deed will go unpunished  
>Whether the jerk is naughty or nice<br>He doesn't deserve to get his wish  
>For locking Santa up in Coal Castle<em>

_**Murray: **__But we don't know where Coal Castle is  
>We'll be driving in circles all night<br>We'll be lost within the fields_

_And we'll miss Christmas by the time we get back home  
>All because we'll go a long way from here<br>We'll be stopping at every stops from town to town_

_**Gunther: **__Please bring Santa home, safe and sound  
>When you do, Christmas will be saved.<em>

_**Kick: **__Don't you worry about a thing or two  
>We'll make sure Santa's safe and sound<br>If we have to go in circles  
>If it takes us all night long<em>

_**Annabelle: **__First we must find a good ol' map  
>With it, we can finally find Coal Castle<em>

_**Murray: **__If this map is scamming us  
>I'll be in a fit of rage<br>And if the van is out of gas  
>I'll be one scary dude!<em>

Murray starts up the van by giving it lots of gas while Kick and Annabelle get inside the van to find Santa.

_**Gunther: **__I bring you luck to find Santa  
>Surely then, Christmas is saved<em>

_**Kick: **__Please don't tell to my parents  
>My mom will think that I'm insane<br>Brad will think that I've lost my mind  
>And Brianna will think that I'm seeing things<em>

_**Annabelle: **__If my mom finds out what I'm doing  
>She will then ground me for a year<em>

_**Murray: **__I have no problems with this stuff  
>I have no parents, but two best buds<br>They won't think that I'm insane  
>We've known each other since we were kids<em>

_**Gunther: **__Just to be sure that you'll do fine  
>I won't tell a single soul<br>Whether it's my mother or my closest friend_

_Deep within my heart, I am nothing but loyal  
>If someone dared to question me<br>I won't spill the beans and make more trouble_

_**Kick: **__Don't make eye contact with anyone  
>Anyone could be as loudmouted as Kyle<em>

_**Annabelle: **__It's best if we keep this a secret  
>When it's over, we'll keep it quiet<br>And when we get back home  
>We''ll keep it to ourselves<em>

_**Murray: **__Whatever happens in Coal Castle  
>Stays in Coal Castle all year long<em>

_Now enough with the stalling  
>The van is up and ready to go<br>So hop aboard the Cooper Express  
>We're off to save Christmas!<em>

The van then rode off into the horizon as Gunther watched with a worried, yet happy look on his face. Murray, Kick and Annabelle are off to find Santa.

_Act II:_

The van took Murray, Kick and Annabelle to several places to find Coal Castle, but among all the stops that they've made, no one is able to tell them the exact location of Coal Castle. Some say that Coal Castle is not even on the world map. Others say that Coal Castle only existed in fairytales. A few people believed that Coal Castle _does _exist, the only problem is that they can't remember the location. But they offered Kick, Annabelle and Murray a few clues, all in the form of a riddle.

_Coal Castle lies not in our world  
>But its location is beyond reality<em>

"It's location is beyond reality?" Annabelle asked as the van drove across the icy road. "Who made up this ridiculous riddle?"

Just then, the gang saw a hitch-hiker, keeping himself standing and warm from the icy cold. He was a young, pale man, maybe in his early teens, who is very skinny with a really large scarf. He wore only a black and purple oversized coat which cover his skinny legs and a purple tophat with a skull on it. Murray stops the van, feeling pity and sad to see the young man be left out in the cold.

"Dear, sir," Murray spoke to the young man. "Would you like a ride instead of standing out here in the cold?"

The young man did not speak, but he nodded his head for a reply. He steps inside the van and then Murray kept on driving to find Coal Castle.

For a few minutes of time, the young man remained quiet. The silence that spread all over the van made the man's hosts very curious.

"Who are you?" Annabelle asked. "Can you at least tell us your name?"

"My name ... " the young man spoke for the first time. " ... is not as important as your journey to find the legendary Coal Castle, which lies not in our world, but its location is beyond reality."

"How did you know what we were going to do?" Kick asked.

"Instincts. What brings you to perform this journey?"

"Santa Claus has been kidnapped by an unknown villain." Murray replied. "He is locked up in Coal Castle."

"I can help you find Coal Castle." the young man spoke again. "But first, you must do me one thing."

"What one thing?" Annabelle asked.

"You must all listen to my story, for my name is Julian."

Everyone in the van went silent. None of them burst into laughter.

"Here's my story ..."

_Twas the 17th of December, 14 years ago, when all through the world, not a creature was stirring, not even a car. The decorations were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Santa Claus soon would be there. _

_On this particular night, there lies a beautiful castle that stood tall on the hill in a faraway land. In this castle lived the noble king, his charming wife and their newborn son, a prince, born 3 days before the 17th. A celebration is being held at the beautiful castle to pay a tribute to the young prince. Everyone from the kingdom were invited - the peasants, the nobles, the merchants, everyone. Even my father, the Great Wizard, were invited to the feast. Presents were being given to the young prince, a great feast being held to everyone in the kingdom._

_Although as if the king and queen had a feeling that something's amiss. They have invited every single one of their people for the celebration. Who could they have forgotten?_

_Why, the Coal Sorcerer of course, for he was a bitter, elderly man who shuts himself from public parties, as if he wants to be left alone or keep his reputation from being ruined. His name was never revealed to anyone, but there is a hint that his name could have sounded Russian. The Coal Sorcerer lived in a dark castle on the top of a dark mountain, filled with coals, thorns and dark magic. The place was called Coal Castle, best known for its coal features, black as ebony. Never in his life had the Coal Sorcerer dare to leave Coal Castle in broad daylight. He had already got a pale skin tone to match his elderly appearance. He just didn't want to feel the sun's happiness that everyone had consumed in their daily lives._

_It's not because the Coal Sorcerer was unfit to enter society. No, it's because he was not a friendly man to begin with. He would hate the sound of sweet music from beautiful instruments, the joys and laughter from the innocent people, and most of all, happiness that everyone consumed that the Coal Sorcerer did not. His heart was three sizes too small, to be exact._

_When the Coal Sorcerer learned that he was not invited to attend the celebration of the newborn prince, he flew into a terrible rage. Now I ask you this - why was the Coal Sorcerer interested in attending to the prince's party?_

_No one knows the exact reason why, but we are certain that the Coal Sorcerer is very interested, a lot._

_Thus, on the night of the prince's party, the 17th of December, the Coal Sorcerer made his entrance right before the eyes of the guests, enraged that he was not invited. The king and queen tried to console the Coal Sorcerer, but he was not forgiving. Instead, he approaced the prince's cradle and took a good look at the young prince. The prince's eyes are blue as water, hair purple as violets, and skin white as snow. On the little prince's hands was a katana sword. This was no ordinary katana; it was an ancient Norrisu katana, used by an ancient group called the Norrisu 9, according to the Great Wizard._

_Much to the horror of the guests, mainly the king and the queen, the Coal Sorcerer began to place a rather dangerous spell on the young prince._

_"The prince will grow to be a young man, pure at heart, brave and noble." The Coal Sorcerer began. "But, before the sun sets 14 years from today, he shall be summoned to Coal Castle as the latest Norrisu Ninja where he shall find the Ebony Ruby, located in the Tower of Ebony. He will touch the jewel, and DIE!"_

_"Seize the Coal Sorcerer at once!" the king ordered the guards._

_But before the guards could seize him, the Coal Sorcerer vanished. No one dared play the music, nor do they dare try to dance. The Coal Sorcerer's curse on the young prince was enough to ruin the moment and haunt the young prince for the first 14 years of his life. The Great Wizard calmed everyone down as he told him that due to the Coal Sorcerer's powers being twice as strong as his own, he could not undo the curse, but he can alter it anyhow._

_"Young prince," The Great Wizard began his spell. "If through this wicked sorcerer's trick, a jewel you'll touch ... a ray of hope there still may be in this, the spell I give to thee. Not in death, but just in sleep, the fateful prophecy you'll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake, when the Coal Sorcerer is defeated by the one who is also pure at heart, the spell shall break."_

_Some times later, the king and queen still fear for the young prince's safety, so when a war was unleashed, eliminated the entire kingdom, the Great Wizard managed to have the young prince reborn, upon the request of the dying queen, for hopes that if the prince began his new life as a normal boy, the Coal Sorcerer's wicked spell will have no effect on him._

_14 years later, a young teenage boy named Randy Cunningham became the newest Norrisu Ninja, protecting Norrisville High from the forces of evil. He knew nothing of his royal past, nor did he knew about the Coal Sorcerer's curse when he was born. He was best friends with a loudmouth, known as Howard Weinerman._

_Then, twas the 16th of December, 14 years later, Randy had a dream. He dreamt that the world had been shredded by an unknown villain who calls himself the Coal Sorcerer and the only way to stop him is to find the Ebony Ruby, located in the Tower of Ebony in Coal Castle. I soon realized that the Coal Sorcerer's curse has not been lifted, even with Randy being reborn 14 years ago._

_Randy puts on his ninja suit and left to find Coal Castle. Howard and I tried to stop him, but it seems that he was under the Coal Sorcerer's spell. We can do nothing to stop the spell._

_Howard tried to save his best bud, but it seems that the Coal Sorcerer had taken him prisoner, keeping him from trying to break the spell, yet Howard is not pure at heart. Only one who is pure at heart can break the Coal Sorcerer's spell and free the ninja._

"And that's the end of my story." Julian finished his story.

"Wow," Annabelle spoke finally. "Talk about a dark curse on the bleak of December."

"Tell me this." Julian spoke again. "What day is it today?"

"December 17th," Murray replied. "Why?"

"We must find Coal Castle before the sun sets! The ninja might be in danger."

"After we save the ninja, you help us find Santa Claus," Annabelle spoke again.

"Why must you think of that?"

"Because Santa is also locked up in Coal Castle." Kick replied. "Now let's go, before the ninja gets caught in the Coal Sorcerer's spell."

"Agreed. At the next intersection, go left."

The van made a stop at the first intersection that the gang saw for the first time. Upon Julian's instruction, Murray turned left at the intersection and continued on driving straight.

"You must continue driving forward until you can see a black rock in the middle of the road." Julian told Murray the next instruction.

Murray obeyed as he kept on driving straight until he fianlly say a black rock in the middle of the road. The van was pulled into a stop, in front of the black rock.

"Now what?" Kick asked Julian.

"Now we get out of the van and go towards the rock." Julian replied. "Once there, we touch the rock at the same time."

Everyone obeyed as they got out of the van and went towards the rock. Following Julian's instructions, everyone touched the rock at the same time and then all of a sudden, the black rock began to dissolve into nothing. Before anyone makes a complaint, the whole landscape began to change locations.

Instead of being in the middle of nowhere, the gang (and the van) are in a sea of snow. From the horizon. they saw a dark mountain, sharp as thorns and black as ebony. On the top of the highest mountain is a tall castle with bricks made of entirely coal, the roofs of towers sharp as thorns, and the walls of the castle are covered with sharp thorns and ebony coals.

"Just what I have imagined." Julian spoke finally. "The legendary Coal Castle."

"Let's get this show on the road," Murray said as he starts the van. "I hope we're not too late."

So the van drove towards the mountains, and more specifically, Coal Castle. Along the way, a few thorns have scratched the paint job on the van, but Murray didn't mind. He and the gang were more focused on rescuing both Santa and the ninja from the Coal Sorcerer, but no one (except Julian) knew the identity of the Coal Sorcerer.

Upon arriving at Coal Castle, Kick had a feeling that getting inside the castle won't be as easy as the others think since the place is surrounded by thorns, and the fact the the Coal Sorcerer could be spying on them through the windows of one of his highest towers. When Murray slams his fists on the grand doors, the grand doors slowly open to let the gang inside.

"That was easy." Annabelle said as the gang went inside.

But Annabelle should have not said those words as the gang came to an edge of what seems to be a pit full of burning coals. On the other side is a red door, which leads whoever can make it across the burning coals to the Tower of Ebony. In Julian's point of view, the ninja must have aleady made it pass through the burning coals and is on his way to the Tower of Ebony, since Julian could see a few sword marks on the door.

Kick looked around to find a way pass the burning coals. Before he could find anything, Annabelle have used her ghost powers and is carrying him, Murray and Julian across the burning coals. Despite Murray's weight, who is a few pounds thinner than Peter Griffin, Annabelle didn't feel weak.

They continued on their way to the top of the Tower of Ebony, following the long staircases, until they came to a huge black door with a red doorknob on it. Luckly for the gang, it was already opened, due to the ninja coming here a few hours earlier. When the four enter the room, they saw the ninja's lifeless body on the ground. They were too late to stop him from touching the glowing Ebony Ruby, and the sun have already set. Also, on the other side of the room, they saw Santa Claus, the real deal, trapped inside a small cage with Howard Weinerman, short and chubby.

"Hang on," Kick said as he prys open the lock on the cage. "We'll get you out of here."

"Well it's about time." Howard replied with an annoyed tone.

"Is it really you, Santa?" Murray asked as Santa and Howard gets out of the cage, while he scoops up the ninja's lifeless body.

"Ho, ho, ho," Santa replied. "The one and only, big guy."

_**Santa: **__Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock  
>Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring<br>Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun  
>Now, the jingle hop has begun<em>

_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell twist  
>Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time<br>Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square  
>In the frosty air<em>

_What a bright time, it's the right time  
>To rock the night away<br>Jingle bell time is a swell time  
>To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh<em>

_Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet  
>Jingle around the clock<br>Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet  
>That's the jingle bell rock, yeah<em>

"Don't continue with your song any longer, fat guy." said a voice from a distance.

"I know that voice," Kick spoke, upon hearing the voice from the distance.

In front of their own eyes, the voice grew closer to them, and much to their shock, they saw an elderly man, graying hair and dark eyes that resembles the demon. He wore an oversized robe, black as ebony, and a black crown, tall and sharp as knives. Kick and Julian recognized the man almost immediately. To Howard and Julian's point of view, the elderly man is the evil Coal Sorcerer. But to Kick's point of view, the elderly man is no other than Mr. Ivan, the same man that went after Gwen Axle regularly.

"Mr. Ivan," Kick hissed. "So you're the one that kidnapped Santa, and placed a curse on the ninja."

"Also known as the prince from the past." Julian added.

"Weirdo." Howard remarked.

"My curse should've killed the prince once he touched the Ebony Ruby." Mr. Ivan, now the Coal Sorcerer hissed at Julian. "But your father, the Great Wizard had to alter it, to make sure the princec was in a deep slumber, instead of being killed."

"And what have you done with Santa, you no-good, rotten, son of a witch!" Murray yelled at the Coal Sorcerer as he gently puts the ninja's body down on the floor.

"Simple, my chubby friend." the Coal Sorcerer spoke. "I kidnapped Santa Claus, so that all the children in the world will have nothing but lumps of coals for Christmas, while I'll be getting all the goodies for this year."

"We'll break your evil curse, Mr. Ivan!" Annabelle yelled as she prepares to use her ghost powers. "And save Christmas!"

"Oh that won't be possible, kid. Only one who is pure at heart can break the spell. You're not it."

"But I'll try!" Kick yelled as he prepares to attack the Coal Sorcerer with his own ghost powers, but the Coal Sorcerer stops the daredevil by having him trapped in ropes of throns, causing him to suffer pain.

"You may be good at will," the Coal Sorcerer taunt Kick. "But your rage and destrucion is keeping you from being pure at heart."

The Coal Sorcerer proceeded to attack Julian, Santa, Howard and the sleeping Ninja, but before a hint of his magic can harm either four of them, Murray blocks the sorcerer's magic.

"So I may have underestimated you, my chubby friend." the Coal Sorcerer spoke with tense. "So it is you that is pure at heart, but you cannot defeat me, not while I have magic on my side."

Murray however has _his _own magic at his side. He claps his hands once, and then the whole room turned pink as roses. Time has stopped and everyone but Murray is frozen at their positions.

"THUNDER FLOP!" Murray shouted as he did his Thunder Flop move on the Coal Sorcerer, damaging the sorcerer in the process.

As soon as Murray did his Thunder Flop move, the whole room became white, once time had been resumed. The brightness became so bright, that everyone had to cover their eyes to avoid blindness.

"Is the spell broken?" Howard asked as everything went white. "Is the ninja going to wake up?"

_Act III:_

"Murray ... Murray." Annabelle's voice was heard.

"W-w-what? What happened?" Murray asked as he wakes up from a sudden blackout.

"You passed out," Julian replied. "We're back in the middle of nowhere, and more specifically, we're in the van.

"Is the spell broken?" Murray asked. "Did we defeat the Coal Sorcerer?"

"Yep, the spell is broken, and the Coal Sorcerer is defeated." replied a voice.

Murray turned around and saw the ninja who is now freed from the Coal Sorcerer's spell.

"Unfortunately, after the Coal Sorcerer got defeated, he cowardly got away while we were knocked out by that light."

"I bet he went back to Mr. Ivan." Kick noted. "After all, he is quite a coward when it comes to defeat."

"Where's Santa?" Murray asked.

"Why, I'm right here, big guy." replied Santa who is sitting beside Murray. "Why, if you haven't help me put the Coal Sorcerer in the naughty list earlier, we would have not be here by now. And I owe you my debt of gratitude."

"Now since Santa and the ninja have been found," Howard spoke. "What do we do next?"

"I think it's time we go back home," Kick replied. "I think our families and friends are worried."

"But first, we must make a quick stop at the North Pole," the ninja suggested. "I bet the elves and the reindeers are worried sick about Santa."

"I agree with the ninja," Santa replied. "Without good ol' Santa, there won't be a Christmas this year."

"Great, but one question. "Murray said. "How do we get to the North Pole?"

"Oh, it's easy. Let me show you ..." Santa replied as he sprinkled some magic dust all over the van, causing the van to fly in the air to the North Pole."

_**Santa: **__Dashing through the snow  
>In a one horse open sleigh<br>Over the fields we go  
>Laughing all the way<em>

_Ho-ho-ho!_

_Bells on bob tails ring  
>Making spirits bright<br>What fun it is to laugh and sing  
>A sleighing song tonight<em>

_Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells  
>Jingle all the way<br>Oh, what fun it is to ride  
>In a one horse open sleigh<br>Jingle bells, jingle bells  
>Jingle all the way<br>Oh, what fun it is to ride  
>In a one horse open sleigh<em>

_**Murray: **__A day or two ago  
>I thought we'd take a ride<em>

_**Annabelle: **__And soon three hitchhikers  
>Were seated by our side<em>

_**Kick: **__The van was young and pure  
>No dent was made on her<br>We got into a lonely road  
>And then we found a coal<em>

_**Everyone: **__Jingle bells, jingle bells  
>Jingle all the way<br>Oh, what fun it is to ride  
>In a young and pure van<br>Jingle bells, jingle bells  
>Jingle all the way<br>Oh, what fun it is to ride  
>In a young and pure van, yeah<em>

_**Santa: **__Now the ground is white_  
><em>Go it while you're young,<em>  
><em>Take the girls tonight<em> _and sing this sleighing song;_  
><em>Just get a bobtailed bay<em>  
><em>Two forty as his speed<em>  
><em>Hitch him to an open sleigh<em>

_**Howard: **__And crack! You'll take the lead._

_**Everyone: **__Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells  
>Jingle all the way<br>Oh, what fun it is to ride  
>In a one horse open sleigh<br>Jingle bells, jingle bells  
>Jingle all the way<br>Oh, what fun it is to ride  
>In a young and pure van, yeah<em>

Several minutes later, the van made a stop at the North Pole. Santa got off the van and went to his workshop, but not before saying goodbye to Murray, Annabelle, Kick, Julian, Howard and the ninja.

"Merry Christmas to you all!" Santa shouted happily. "And have a safe journey back home."

_**Santa: **__I wish you a merry Christmas  
>I wish you a merry Christmas<br>I wish you a merry Christmas  
>And a happy New Year.<em>

_**Elves: **__Glad tidings we bring  
>To you and your kin;<br>Glad tidings for Christmas  
>And a happy New Year!<em>

_Oh bring us a figgy puuding  
>Oh bring us a figgy puuding<br>Oh bring us a figgy puuding  
>And a cup of good cheer!<em>

_We won't go until we get some  
>We won't go until we get some<br>We won't go until we get some  
>So bring it out here!<em>

_**Santa and the Elves: **__We wish you a Merry Christmas  
>We wish you a Merry Christmas<br>We wish you a Merry Christmas  
>And a happy New Year.<em>

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Murray cried as the van finally took off to its next destination, Norrisville.

()()()()()

Several hours later, the van made a stop at Norrisville High. The ninja finally took off his mask and transforms back to Randy Cunningham as he, Howard and Julian got off the van and walk toward the school.

"Have a safe holiday, you guys!" Murray cried as he starts up the van.

"You too!" Julian replied. "Unless it's your _time _to join the dead_._"

"Seriously, Julian?" Howard said to Julian. "You're a weirdo."

Randy rolled his eyes as Howard and Julian continued to argue while approaching the school. Murray then set the van to drive as he, Kick and Annabelle make the journey back home to Mellowbrook.

_**Murray: **__Chestnuts roasting on an open fire  
>Jack Frost nipping at your nose<br>Yuletide carols being sung by a choir  
>And folks dressed up like Eskimos<em>

_Everybody knows  
>A turkey and some mistletoe<br>Help to make the season bright  
>Tiny tots with their eyes all a-glow<br>Will find it hard to sleep tonight_

_They know that Santa's on his way  
>He's loaded lots of toys<br>And goodies on his sleigh  
>And every mother's child is gonna spy<br>To see if reindeer really know  
>How to fly<em>

_And so I'm offering this simple phrase  
>To kids from one to ninety two<br>Although it's been said  
>Many times many ways<br>Merry Christmas to you_

When the van finally reached Mellowbrook, Murray, Kick and Annabelle could see that when all through the town, not a creature was stirring, not even a car. The decorations were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Santa Claus soon would be there. Judging by the town's silence, no one took notice of the three of them being gone for a while

_**Murray: **__And so I'm offering this simple phrase  
>To kids from one to ninety two<br>Although it's been said  
>Many times many ways<br>Merry Christmas to you  
>Merry Christmas<br>Merry Christmas  
>Merry Christmas<br>To you_

The van was pulled to a stop at Kick's house, when Kick walks out of the van and went to his house, as Murray pulls the van to a stop again at Annabelle's house, when Annabelle hurried off to her house, leaving Murray to return home to the safe house.

_Act IV:_

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the town, not a creature was stirring, not even a car. The decorations were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Santa Clause soon would be there. Murray was nestled all snug in his bed, while visions of surgar-plums danced in his head. And Sly in his father's hat, and Bentley in his cap, had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Bentley sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window, he flew like a flash in his wheelchair, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below. When, what to Bentley's wondering eyes should appear, but a minimature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver, so lively and quick, Bentley knew in a moment it must be Santa. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On, on Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys, and Santa Claus too. And then, in a twinkling, Bentley heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As Bentley drew in his head and was turning around, down the chimney Santa Claus came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

_His eyes-how they twinkled! _Bentley thought when he first saw Santa. _His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. _

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and Bentley laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave the turtle to know he had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But Bentley heard him exclaim, there he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

()()()()()

Extra Scene:

One Christmas morning, Bentley told Sly and Murray about the weird dream he had last night which involves Murray, Kick and Annabelle traveling to Coal Castle in the middle of nowhere to rescue not only Santa Claus and Christmas, but the Norrisville Ninja as well from the evil Coal Sorcerer, and Murray was the one who defeated the Coal Sorcerer. Bentley thought it was the weirdest dream he ever had.

"I'm not sure if that's weird." Murray replied.

"Explain please?" Bentley asked.

"Just this morning, at the side of my bed was a box full of Norrisu smoke bombs. I think the Norrisville Ninja sent it to me as a token of his gratitude after rescuing him from the Coal Sorcerer's spell."

"Well that's ... um ... that's strange."


End file.
